So if male allyship is such a good and important thing to do, why aren't more men practicing it? There are (as we say at Amazon) headwinds... (credit to Natalie White) pt 2 First, skepticism from women. "J" is one of the women I've worked to sponsor and mentor at Amazon. "J" told me that my early attempts to help made her wonder "what does he want from me?" Sadly, men in the workplace have given valid reasons for this doubt: coming on to women, inappropriate statements, passive and active sexism, taking credit for ideas, and micro-aggressions galore. It's a fair concern to be prepared for - just keep trying in different ways! I convinced "J" of my positive intent through my actions and I've learned a ton as a result! Second, career risk of allies being seen as less capable. Research from 2018 by Bosak found that men who acted as allies - more collaboratively were seen as less masculine - and therefore less competent. This perspective of "being less competent" was shared by men AND women from the study. The research is grounded in data, but my experience as an ally has been different - I've been recognized for being an ally and the benefits of a more diverse, supportive, and inclusive organization have contributed to my career. Third, "bias as blame" - or people feel bad (and therefore feel bad about you) when you highlight bias in order to change it. Bias is a common and unfortunate byproduct of learning by pattern-matching - you match the wrong pattern: "women are less assertive thus less good at driving results" instead of "women are often less visibly assertive thus drive results in different ways." But our immediate reaction as humans is to reject "feeling bad" when someone points out our bias. We can mitigate this risk by asking questions instead of making statements: "What did you mean by that? How does that relate to whether she can perform at the next level?" Or simply "why?" Finally, a false belief in a "zero sum" gender environment. 28% of men in a 2020 Pew Research study said that women's gains in the workplace have come at men's expense. It's not hard to find this belief in our culture, and I appreciate that a more equitable environment may feel like a loss of privilege - but it's still wrong. Watch Ted Kimmel's TED talk about why gender equality is good for men - he does this topic far more justice than I can. For yourself, consider whether every male hire would be an "anti-diversity hire" before you talk about a woman or non-binary hire as a "diversity hire." Hint - neither is accurate. There are a limited number of roles when hiring, so hire the best candidate - but make sure you're looking for the best instead of offering an opportunity to a person you already know (who is more likely than not - male). The same study showed that men who don't feel ownership of gender issues in their workplace will take action when "increasing gender equity is framed by company leaders as a collective imperative." At Amazon at least, it is.
David Cottrell
8mo
Great post. This recent article on invisible disadvantages was also insightful: https://app.sloanreview.mit.edu/2024/04/10/the-invisible-barriers-holding-top-talent-back/content.html
Kim Nico
8mo
Thank you again for posting, Brian! Ironically, some people will digest this information better from a man than when women post about it. Thank you for bringing yourself to this topic.
Another fantastic post. I wasn't aware of the Bosak study but it makes sense. So glad you're shining a light on this topic from the perspective of the ally.
Jaishree B
8mo
Such a great post. Thanks Brian for sharing your experience. We need men talking about how Allyship has helped them as a win - win . WIIFM is something if more men understand the percentage would improve and the skepticism will reduce :)
Principal Enterprise Solutions Architect - Technical Therapist - Builder - DevOps Cultural Transformation
8moEarly in my career, I was one of the few women on my team at Motorola, and there were rumors of me having affairs with my mentor and with a manager I didn’t even know but was going through a divorce. (Obviously neither were true) I didn’t know about it until I left the company because my mentor shielded me from the toxicity and shut it down when it surfaced. My mentor would give me the inside scoop on office politics and corporate bureaucracy, and made sure I was part of the ad-hoc lunch group that went to lunch together periodically. I was easily 10-20 years younger than everyone there as the first batch of interns hired after the post-paging slump. It would have been so easy for all of them to leave me sitting at my desk alone, but having that inclusive, platonic, non-toxic, and distinctly inorganic camaraderie encouraged me that I had a place in the tech industry, and that I could take a leap to a new role when I saw there wasn’t a future for me at Motorola in the post-Razr slump. They split the company a year later and virtually everyone was laid off.