We’re Not Okay, But We Will Be

I’ve seen a lot of very helpful posts shared this past week with tips around how to work remotely effectively, but very little that address one of the biggest elephants in the room right now: our mental health. Stress levels and anxiety are currently off the charts for many of us, and it’s not only impacting our own well-being, but our relationships, our ability to do our work effectively, and our positive outlook for the future.

Our lives changed overnight in the United States, an experience other countries have already been dealing with, and we are following in their footsteps. In the past week, we’ve seen an incredible and unprecedented number of changes personally and professionally, and a level of isolation that challenges our sense of freedom, our relationships, and our well-being.

• In some cases, we are experiencing an immediate loss, whether that is our jobs, or the personal, in-person connection with our loved ones.
• In others, we have to rethink and reengineer our entire way of life and work in the confines of our homes.
• For those of us that have children, we now also support home schooling and daycare, while still trying to work effectively, with the added stress of potential layoffs looming.
• Some of us aren’t fortunate enough to be able to work from home, and have to put our health at risk every time we enter our workplaces.
• And let’s not forget the dark cloud looming over us that triggered this chain of events: we also have to carefully and closely ensure we stay healthy, and not potentially infect others.

And somehow, we’re expected to be business as usual, and adjust just as quickly and seamlessly to our new way of life, without any “how to survive” handbook or wisdom provided.

I am a recruiter, and overnight my job turned into crisis manager and emotional counselor, in addition to helping people find jobs. These are “hats” that come naturally to me based on my skills and past experience, and I truly enjoy helping others, particularly during challenging times like this. However I also fall into the currently known “vulnerable” category of people at higher risk of contracting Covid-19, as do the majority of my family, which has completely changed my way of life, my perspective, and my mentality personally, with the flip of a switch. I’m a pretty resilient person, but without warning, I noticed my stress and anxiety levels went into high gear this past week trying to manage everything in my job and figuring out my new way of life, while our world changed in the background by the minute.

I want you to know you are not alone, and it’s okay to feel how you are feeling. We may be physically isolated from each other, but we are all still here virtually to help and support each other in whatever that capacity is. This is not going away anytime soon, and it’s important we take care of ourselves as best we can physically and mentally so we can not only survive, but thrive as best we can in this new normal we are facing.

Here are some tips and resources available you may find helpful in handling the stress and anxiety that is creeping up:

1. Limit your exposure to the news – it’s important to stay informed, particularly at the local level on recommendations and how your environment is changing, but take it in small doses, and find the right medium you are comfortable with and causes the least stress (TV, online, etc). If you feel anxious or it starts triggering you, turn it off.
2. Rethink and engineer your daily routine and environment – we will eventually come out of this, but for now, staying at home and quarantine is our reality. It may feel like a loss and you may encounter shock with every realization of things you aren’t able to do now, and that you have to change your regular routine. And that’s okay and understandable. In order to still experience joy and happiness during this challenging time, it’s important we adjust our thinking and embrace this new normal as best and creatively as we can. We have to rethink how we go about our daily lives. Create a new daily routine, tackle those projects you’ve had on hold for a while, whatever that looks like to you. Some really fun and creative things have been emerging in just this first week thanks to social media platforms: from virtual DJ dance parties, celebrities telling stories for children, to virtual workouts to keep us healthy and moving. There is lemonade hidden throughout this latest batch of lemons. We just have to change our way of thinking, our perspective, and our actions.
3. Embrace humor – watch a funny movie or show, or read a humorous book. Turn your brain off from reality for a while and have a good laugh when you need it. Our mood scales are tipped heavily on the negativity side right now, so bringing some levity will help balance things out once again. I watched a funny movie Friday night and had the first solid night sleep I had all week!
4. Help others – depending on your situation, this might be difficult, however helping others can help boost your mood and overall happiness. This could be grocery shopping for a quarantined neighbor, having supplies shipped to family and friends or someone in need, supporting local businesses that have had to temporarily close down by buying gift certificates, or even simply hanging up positive and inspiration messages outside your home to help keep your neighbors spirits up. Toilet paper is like gold now, so if you are lucky enough to find some but don’t need it, grab a pack and give it to someone who does.
5. Take care of your mental health – this can mean different things for each of us, so I’ve included a variety of ideas and resources below that can help. It is by no means a comprehensive list, so PLEASE leave any other helpful resources and ideas you would recommend in the comments!

• Meditate – there are numerous resources out there such as downloadable apps, podcasts, and YouTube videos where you can access guided meditations and breathing exercises for free. Some of the paid services, such as Mindspace are providing free resources to help support you during this challenging time. The Meditative Story podcast puts a unique spin on meditation by providing you with storytellers and calming background music.
• Take breaks and do things that bring you joy – this could be taking up a new hobby (or making time for an existing one), spending time with your pet if you have one, connecting with loved ones via phone or video call, having an impromptu dance party or listen to your favorite music, take a nap, read a book, paint, etc.
• Get moving – exercising can also boost your mood and overall well-being. This might seem impossible if you don’t have any exercise equipment or much room in your home to move, however there are lots of workout resources on YouTube, apps, and even trainers doing workouts right now on Instagram to support everyone during quarantine. I’ve built workouts for myself by simply using a deck of cards, and assigning an exercise to each suit (the number on the card you draw are the reps of the exercise). Have stairs in your home? Get climbing!
• Talk to someone and/or journal – if you already have a safe space and support system you feel comfortable talking to, connect with them and be open about how you’re feeling. There are also various counseling resources available through your employer benefits (if you have them) such as an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), and general counseling. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and ask for help.
• Podcasts – whether it’s to listen to stories as a distraction, or look for life advice, there are some great free podcasts out there to help you tune in and tune out. My personal go-to podcasts that help put me a in good mood and inspire me are Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday, Thrive Global Podcast, Modern Love, and Criminal to name a few. Brene Brown also just launched a fantastic new podcast called “Unlocking Us” where her first episode addresses the very topic of this post and has some great tips on how to navigate this brand new unknown.
• Other resources – two of my favorite companies have jumped in to provide articles and resource libraries helping mental health and well-being. Thrive Global is posting articles on their site daily with helpful tips and advice on how to cope during these difficult times, and Passion Planner has created a resource library across a variety of areas, including mental health.

1. Reset your immediate goals – if we have to reframe our daily lives, we have to reframe our goals for the immediate future as well. Being inside doesn’t mean we can’t accomplish anything, but rather we have to shift our thinking as well on what we can and want to accomplish. Read a book that’s been sitting on the shelf, learn a new skill, organize your closets, become a skilled mixologist or at-home barista, whatever you can dream up! My sister gave me the best Christmas gift in 2019 of a subscription to Masterclass, a wonderful library of online learning resources from experts in the field. Yale has made their popular "The Science of Well-Being" online class free temporarily that is designed to increase your own happiness and build more productive habits.

Remember that it is okay to feel whatever emotions you are feeling right now. The roller coaster ride we are on will only continue and get worse for a while, but eventually it will get better. The most important thing we can do to ride this out is to take care of our physical and mental health as a top priority, and adapt as best we can to this new, temporary norm. It’s time to put our oxygen masks on first so we can be ready to secure those for others as needed.