Alice Sheldon’s Post

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Founder @ Needs Understanding | Trainer | Speaker | Author | CNVC Certified Trainer

How helpful are your 'sorry's? Do you, like me, sometimes fall into the trap of the self-centred sorry? Here's a tip for saying sorry well. For those who prefer to read, here's the transcript: So saying ‘sorry’, which I needed to do again this morning, as quite often happens. I had failed to pay somebody. And I was apologizing. And as I started to open my mouth to go down an old pattern of saying ‘sorry’ multiple times, and the other person saying ‘it's ok’ multiple times, I was focused on this tip that I find helpful. When we say sorry, my invitation is to look at the impact on the other person. So to keep our focus on what our actions that we regret did to the other person, rather than how guilty we are feeling about it. When we're guilty, we are tending to absorb energy from the other person to make us feel better, or at least that's the risk. And what we want to be doing is focusing on what might have happened to the other person and how we deal with that impact, and what we can do differently. 

Helen Beedham

Creating ‘time-intelligent’ teams and organisations. Adviser, speaker, award-winning author of The Future of Time, The Business of Being Brilliant podcast, now writing People Glue.

9mo

Love your way of putting it 'the self-centred sorry', that's such an apt description Alice Sheldon. I'm going to be watching out for that in my apologies.

Oooh love this! So true what you say about when we focus on our guilt it becomes about us. Thank you for the wise words 🙏

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