J.K. Simmons Reveals Secrets of His 28-Year Marriage to Michelle Schumacher: ‘Try to Really Listen’

J.K. Simmons is sharing the secrets to his successful marriage.

“Be nice. Be on the nice list,” the actor, 69, who has been married to his wife Michelle Schumacher since 1996, tells PEOPLE at the New York City premiere of his new film Red One on Monday, Nov. 11. “And listen.”

While Simmons, who plays Santa Claus in the upcoming Christmas movie, shares that listening is a great foundation for marriage, he admits he's still working on getting better himself after all these years. 

“None of us do that all the time and it's still a work in progress with me, but try to listen, try to really listen,” he adds.

Simmons and writer-director Schumacher, 58, have been married since 1996 and share two children: son Joe, 25, and daughter Olivia, 22. 

The couple met in 1991 after Schumacher joined the same musical production of Peter Pan as Simmons, where she appeared as a dancer and he played Captain Hook.

“I rented a car. I don't know where I was going but I was just leaving the parking lot, and I saw our dance captain walking with this beautiful, petite blonde,” Simmons told PEOPLE in May about the first time he first laid eyes on his future wife outside a Florida theater. 

“I just tried my best not to be the idiot who's craning his neck leering at this beautiful young woman.”

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The Whiplash star recalled later visiting Schumacher’s dressing room before a performance to “wish her a good show" — before catching himself in an embarrassing blunder on the way out. 

“I knocked and [she said] ‘Come in.’ She was, like most dancers, dressed in her dance underwear,” said Simmons. “I tried to be Mr. Cool and wish her a good show and I turned around and made my smooth exit by hugely stubbing my big toe on the door of her dressing room, squealing like a 4-year-old.”

Despite the slip-up, Simmons recalled Schumacher being won over by him. "Somehow, she still found me attractive,” he joked.

According to Simmons, Schumacher revealed to him later on that she too had a crush on him when they first came across each other in the parking lot.

“Much, much, much later, Michelle told me that she had said, ‘Oh, who's that?’ ” Simmons shared. “The dance captain had said, ‘Oh, that's J.K. He's straight. He's our Captain Hook.’ ”