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21 DAYS TO FEMININE

MAGNETISM

YOUR GUIDE TO GETTING #WIFEDUP

ANGELA S. HOLCOMB

All rights reserved.

Copyright © 2017 Angela S. Holcomb

This book may not be reproduced, transmitted or stored in whole or in part

by any means including graphics, electronic, or mechanical without the
express written consent of the publisher. Reprinting content in part for resale
is strictly prohibited 4

DEDICATION

Thank you God, for imparting this knowledge upon me! I felt scared and
unqualified but here I am doing it anyway. Hopefully, my movement to help
more women become wives is a burnt offering to you.

This book is dedicated to all the women in my Facebook group, Wifed Up

Movement (group name at time of publication) that have stood by my side
and have been my biggest supporters! They have been patiently waiting on
this book. They have given me motivation to put my knowledge to pen and
paper. Some days I felt insecure about my movement, but these women kept
me going. The hunger they have for what I offer is very motivating!

And to everyone else who will come across this book, I am excited that you
are on a journey of discovering your feminine essence.
This is dedicated to all of you who inspired this book because of your need
of this information. I couldn't have done it without you.

CONTENTS

Introduction

Your Polar Opposite

Trust Your Heart

Feminine Mystique

F Your Past

Now Lean Back

Stop Doing the Most

Masculine Respect

Receive, Reciprocate, Repeat

Femininity is The Juice

He’s Already Been Raised

Your Ego Will Keep You Single

No Doormat Zone

Here’s How to Get Him to Do What You Want

You Are Worthy

Vulnerability is the Secret Sauce

Build A Roster

Affirming Your Femininity

Owning Your Shit

Vision or Perish

Blockedtttt

Needy Ain’t Cute

INTRODUCTION

“ The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”
-

Nathaniel Branden

Congratulations on taking control of your love life. I am so excited you

decided to embark on this journey. I am ecstatic for you! I am literally
jumping out of my seat.

You purchased this book because you believe it will take you from where
you are to where you want to be. I am incredibly proud of you for owning
your shit and taking your love life to the next level. This book will 1000%
change your life and get you closer to being #wifedup. You must keep an
open mind, remove your ego and do the work. I repeat, you must do the
work.

I want you to get prepared to be uncomfortable. What I am going to show

you is nothing like anything you have learned about love and relationships
before. Femininity will change your life. Over the next 21 days, you will
grow into a feminine magnet who has men falling under her spell.

Who am I and why do I have expertise to tell you anything?

My name is Angela. I am a relationship coach and dating scientist who
specializes in getting single women #wifedup. My purpose is to help women
understand that femininity is the key to unlocking everything you have
desired in love.

Being a feminine woman will inspire men to protect you, provide for you,
profess their love for you and ultimately give you the commitment you are
seeking.

I created this workbook so that women would have a hands-on guide that
will help them get out of masculine energy and into feminine energy.
Implementing what you learn in this book will forever change the game for
you.

Society has programmed many women to believe that they need to work
hard and earn the love and commitment of men. However, this is not what
men respond to in the long term.

Many women were taught to be strong, independent and to live without a

man.

Many women were not taught how to interact with men in a way that will
have him begging to make you his. Many women were not taught how to
tune into their feminine essence to helplessly attract men to them. Many
women were not taught that they are worthy of being a wife. Many women
were not taught how to become a wife.

But you bought this book, so you will be miles ahead of these women.

My goal over the next 21 days is to help you tune into your feminine essence
so that you can attract the best high quality masculine man for you. I want
you to experience how shifting your mindset, behaviors, beliefs and
mannerisms from the masculine to the feminine will completely revolution
your love journey.

It sounds farfetched, but trust me. If it worked for me, it will work for you.
Love and getting #wifedup doesn’t have to be hard. Actually, it isn’t hard at
all. It is simple. If you stop doing what does not work and begin doing what
does work you can achieve your dream relationship.

The only reason you are not #wifedup right now is because you are not
embracing your true feminine essence AND you do not believe you deserve
to be #wifedup. In other words, femininity combined with a high self-worth
is a force to be reckoned with in the dating world. Men will fall at your feet
and work to win you.

Why should I become magnetically feminine?

Because femininity is what attracts the type of man you want. I will go into
more detail as the guide progresses. Trust me this is why most of your past
relationships did not move forward; you were stuck in masculine energy.
Masculine energy is the cause for a great deal of relationship issues unless
you are dealing with a feminine man.

The only thing that is stopping you from progressing is YOU! Not him! Not
your ex! Not the fuckboy from 2011..BUT YOU!

I used to be where you are. Struggling with the rejection from one man after
another. I didn’t feel like I deserved true love and commitment even though
it was something I deeply desired. Then I stopped looking outside to what
men were doing and to look within to what I was doing. I wanted to know
what kept me stuck and a failure in love. And thus I began my personal
research and now I’m going to share it with you. Does that sound familiar?
If yes, then this guide is definitely for you.

Over the next 21 days, I will be showing you how to embrace your feminine
mystique. I will give you daily assignments to complete that will help you to
reprogram your mindset toward your love life. Feel free to write in a
notebook or elsewhere if you need more space.
I want to help you get #wifedup. If you want to get #wifedup stay ‘til the
end.

You may get excited and want to skip ahead: DO NOT! Take it one day at a
time.

Rome wasn't built in a day. It took you a lifetime to get into your current
mindset and it will not be an overnight process to reprogram it, so be patient
and follow the daily work.

The assignments should take no more than 15 minutes each day, a few days
may take a bit longer. The time you are spending on this challenge are the
seeds you are sowing for your future growth.

When I first learned how to embrace femininity I was confused, hesitant and
lost.

But as I put my ego to the side and began to practice femininity I saw
changes in the men I dated and within myself. I was more relaxed and
poised. I did less and received more than I ever had before from men. I was
sold!

I’ve coached clients who have stopped engaging in masculine energy and
starting engaging in feminine energy and have seen dramatic changes in
their men. A woman saw a long time boyfriend talk marriage after he
dodged the question in the past. He even took her to look at rings!

I am so excited for you! Are you?

Before we start on Day One, I want to give you a few questions for you to
contemplate. Take a few minutes to look inward to answer these questions
honestly. This exercise will prepare you for the next 21

days.

Wifed Up Assessment
1. Why did you buy this book?

2. Are you ready to shift your entire mindset surrounding love?

3. If you haven’t already, join my Facebook group. At the time of writing

this, the url is www.facebook.com/groups/wifedupmovement . If this link
does not work visit the homepage of my website for a banner at the top
directing you to the group,

www.wifedupcoach.com . This is where I hang out most.

4. Are you open to keeping a roster? Are you open to dating multiple men at
once?

5. On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to transforming your love life
over the next 21 days?

6. How will it feel to have men falling all over you? For it to be literally
raining men?

7. What time of day do you commit to do this everyday?

DAY

YOUR POLAR OPPOSIT E

“ None of us are just black and white, or never wrong and always right. No
one No one exists without priorities.” -Suzy Kassem P olarity is science.
Polarity is nature. If you pay attention to nature you will see that all things
have their opposite, their complement. As the moon has the sun. As the light
has the dark. As cold has hot. We live in a polar universe.

Human attraction is very scientific. It is based on the Law of Polarity.

Polarity is magnetic. Polarity is attracting the complement of you energy. For
example, if you are masculine, you will attract and vibe best with a feminine
counterpart. If you are feminine, you will attract a masculine counterpart.
This is how human sexual attraction works.

Relationships are all about two opposing energies coming together to

balance each other out. The yin and yang. Yin is feminine and yang is
masculine.

Sexual attraction goes beyond looks. You can be an attractive woman with

“womanly” appearance and dress and exude masculine energy. You are a
man in women's attire. In these cases masculine men are not able to balance
their energy with you because you do not have feminine energy. This is why
masculine women often get used for sex by masculine men. They cannot
connect with you on the energetic level so they connect with you on the
superficial level of lust. So if you find yourself in a lot of friends with
benefits situations, one night stands, or situationships, you have been
operating in masculine energy.

Since these energies repel each other they cannot produce a long lasting
connection. Think of the magnetism of two AA batteries. When you put
them into a device you always put them in with + facing -. This is the only
way they will work and produce power for your devices. This is the same
concept with sexual attraction among the sexes. Femininity is negative and
masculinity is positive and they power each other. If you put any other
combination together, your device will not work. A committed relationship
is the ‘device.’

You need to focus on your energy not your attractiveness. Do not get me
wrong, you should definitely look your best by eating right and getting into
shape in order to attract the highest quality of men. However, the physical
has never kept a man.

Masculine men stay with women because they exude a feminine vibe that he
finds absolutely irresistible and he feels energized by her presence.
A masculine man wants a feminine woman because her presence makes him
feel like a king. A masculine man needs to be the leader in the relationship in
order to be happy. Masculine energy is about pursuing, overcoming,
protecting, providing,and 10

leading. When a man is allowed to show his masculinity to a woman he feels

like he is her hero. She then feels safe, loved, and protected. Through this
dynamic a beautiful relationship can blossom.

A masculine woman becomes his competition, not his companion. When she
is masculine she becomes possessive, controlling, aggressive, pursuant and
afraid of vulnerability. Polarity disappears. Vulnerability is what creates
deep connection, attraction, and desire for a man.

Women who understand polarity and make it work for them have thriving
lifelong commitments from men.

Women when they operate in masculine energy create severe depolarization

and demagnetization with masculine men. Polarity is more important than
chemistry and having things in common in creating a lasting connection. As
crazy as it sounds, it’s true.

Polarity is the spark. Polarity is the passion. Polarity is the magnetism.

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Wifed Up Assessment

1. What does polarity mean to you?

2. Did you discover anything new about your own polarity? What was it?

3. Do you see how polarity affected your past relationships?

4. Have you been in competition with men? How?

5. How does it feel to evaluate your past relationships with this new
information?
6. Did you discover the importance of polarity and how to make it work for
you? How so?

12

DAY

TRUST YOUR HEAR T

“When your heart speaks, take good notes.” -Judith Campbell Y our heart is
your inner guide. Your intuition. You heart is connected to God (or whatever
you choose to call the Divine). The heart gives its guidance when the mind is
still.

When you get out of your head you are able to get guidance from your heart.
And the mind is always in a state of confusion because its job is to ask
questions and seek answers to these questions.

The mind uses words to express itself but words are never able to accurately
describe truths and states of mind. So the more you question things with
your mind the more confused you become and the more questions you have.

The heart is the seat of your emotions and has all the answers that you seek.
The heart expresses itself through feelings, hunches and sensations.

When you learn to tune into your heart you will find that you will know what
to do in any given situation.

Once you learn to connect with your heart, you will discover the core of
your femininity. The feminine is all about the heart. As the feminine
counterpart you are the heart of a relationship. You will start to cherish your
feelings for they will give you the temperature of the relationship

When you know how to connect with your heart, you are able to silence the
mind.
When you question a situation where you feel like your heart and mind are
in conflict, your heart wants priority but it will not override the mind. It is
not pushy. But if you get in a quiet space you will get discernment from your
heart about any doubts or questions you may have.

Once you learn to listen and connect to your heart you will see all your fears,
anxiety, and stress melt away. When you embrace your heart you embrace
your femininity. Femininity is an expression of your heart. You are able to
let go of resistance and a need to control and just trust that as long as you are
following your intuition everything will fall into line. This is not a tactic to
change your men so that you can trust them, this is about you learning to
trust yourself.

Today we are going to do a meditation that will get you out of your head and
into your heart.

The Heart Centered Meditation

I want you to make sure that you are alone and are in comfortable clothing.
It is very important that you will not be disturbed during this meditation.

Lay down on your bed or couch. Put your arms down by your side and
straighten 13

and relax your legs. Take a few deep breaths to the count of 5.

Continue to take deep breaths, in and out. Do this until you feel relaxed and
as if you are becoming one with your bed.

Right now, if your mind is racing or is full of thoughts, just ignore them and
let them go. Focus back on how relaxed you are.

You are beginning to relax. Now, begin to imagine that you are literally on a
cloud in the sky. You can feel the softness as it melts into your body.

Breathing deeply.
Turn your focus on your heart. What do you feel? Are there any sensations?
Do you feel a hunch?

Make sure you are tuned into your heart and not your mind. After you have
identified what is going on with your heart bring yourself to awareness.

Now take some time to write about what you felt in the moment.

Do this exercise often so that you can get comfortable with the language of
your heart.

14

Wifed Up Assessment

1. What did you feel about the meditation?

2. Write down the details you experienced during this meditation?

3. Do you believe that you can trust your intuition to guide you? Why or
why not?

4. How can listening to your heart help you make the right decisions with
men?

15

DAY

FEMININE MYSTIQU E

“A woman is a warrior too. But she is meant to be a warrior in a uniquely

feminine way.” -Stasi Eldredge

I know you are wondering what feminine mystique is? Well first let me
begin by telling you what it is not. It is not being coy, seductive, flirtatious,
dramatic, or manipulative. Feminine mystique is about being your most
authentic, vibrant, and passionate self by just being. You are just enjoying
each moment and staying grounded in your heart.

A feminine woman is naturally mysterious to a man. She is the complete

opposite of him, which intrigues and fascinates him. Her femininity draws
him in because he cannot relate to the world the same way she does. She is
feminine. He is masculine. It sparks his curiosity. Masculine and feminine
see the world through different lenses. As we've learned, the polarity creates
intense attraction.

A feminine woman is an enigma even if she isn't trying to be. A feminine

woman is authentic and vulnerable. When you are authentic and vulnerable
you are naturally mysterious because you are confident, high-value, rare and
naturally magnetic. Most women today are quite the opposite. So men are
intrigued.

Masculine men crave femininity because it compliments them. He needs

femininity in order to be his best self. This is why women who are truly
feminine have men flocking towards them. The appeal of femininity is that it
is puzzling and he wants to experience more of it and “figure” it out.

A woman's mystery energizes and inspires a man to be in his most authentic

masculine self. It drives his natural protection and provider instincts. Her
mystery sparks the polarity. This deepens the emotional connection for him.
This is where he will feel respected and understood and you will feel
cherished and adored. Men do not normally leave women of mystique. They
are boomerangs always bringing him back.

Contrary to what modern feminists have tried to promote, femininity is not

about being a doormat, insecure or weak. It is a quieter strength.

She is powerful even though she displays softness, playfulness,

youthfulness, and emotional intelligence. She is so secure in herself yet so
graceful. It is hard not to be affected by her humble power.
Masculine women and women who seek to be equal with men are the real
weak women. They are trying to hide their insecurities by taking on energy
that does not belong to them. They are not authentic and there is nothing
more weak than living a false identity.

A mysterious woman operates from love and freedom, not fear and
attachment.

16

She makes a man feel like a hero. She makes a man feel needed without
needing him.

The problem with needing a men is that you are making him responsible for
your fulfillment and happiness. That is not his job that is an inside job. She
accepts a man for his masculine strength and individuality and does not try
to change him.

Being a mystery throughout your relationship is the key to his sustained

connection and commitment. You will find that there will be very few
problems within your relationship. A man will continue to show his love for
you and you will not have to worry about feeling anxious or needy again.

Feminine mystique is the key to keeping him enchanted by you.

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Wifed Up Assessment

1. What are the perks of feminine mystique?

2. What are some ways that you can cultivate feminine mystique?

3. Have you ever associated femininity with weakness? Why?

4. How can you practice feminine mystique today?

18
DAY

F YOUR PAS T

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” -Alexander Pope S o many women are
walking around full of bitterness, resentment, anger and unforgiveness; this
is why they are not able to get and keep a man. Being a feminine woman is
more than certain behaviors, it is also about being open to love. You cannot
be open to love if you are harboring negative emotions such as
unforgiveness and bitterness. If you want to see some major shifts in your
love life you need to take heed to today’s challenge. I want you to know that
letting go of the past is paramount to becoming a feminine woman that has
high quality masculine men attracted to you.

I know that today’s challenge will be a major breakthrough for many of you.
I have personally seen women I've coached finally let go of the pain and hurt
of the past and finally attract the type of man she always wanted. You can do
this too, if you are finally ready to forgive and move on.

Today is the day that you should completely release your past and get
unstuck. I want you to get ready to forgive everyone you feel has slighted
you in the past or present.

You need to release your negative emotions so that you can stop attracting
the same type of experiences in your love life. After you really let go you
will start to feel much lighter. Your heart will feel more open. When your
heart is open you are ready for love. You are ready to attract the ideal man
for you. And trust he will run to you.

Say it With Me: “I forgive all my past hurts, I open up the flow for my
blessing to pour in. I open up the flow for true love to come to me.”

Repeat this throughout the day until you feel it is your new life affirmation.
No matter what has happened to you. Let it go. Lay it down. Do not pick it
back up. Do not look back at it.

After you do this exercise, you will wonder why you didn’t forgive and let
go a long time ago. You will feel like a mountain has been lifted off your
shoulders. From this moment onward, I would advise you to practice
forgiveness on a regular basis.

Staying in a state of constant forgiveness will allow you to stay open to the
flow of connection and love. Flow is a state of nonresistance. When you are
in constant forgiveness you are in flow and when you are in flow you are
able to connect with your authentic feminine self. Femininity is about
staying in flow and in vulnerability.

We will talk more about vulnerability later.

For today’s exercise, you will list all those who have caused you any pain in
the past. You do not have to limit it to men, you can list friends, family and
acquaintances.

The guy who cut you off in traffic yesterday. FORGIVE! FORGIVE
everyone you can 19

think of who may have offended you.

Here is an example of what your list should look like:

• I forgive you, Martin for cheating on me. It hurt me but it helped me realize
I was not a completely great wife myself. I was selfish and ignored your
needs. Thank you Martin for what this experience has taught me. I release
you in love.

• I forgive you, Julius, for ghosting me after 5 dates and never explaining
why. I understand it might not have been easy to let me down. Thank you
that this experience taught me discernment. I release you in love.

• I forgive you, Shantell, for sleeping with my boyfriend. It really hurt me,
but it helped to stop being so naive in my friendships. Thank you for that
lesson. I release you in love.

As you can see, the formula is to address the person by name, state what the
offense was, what you learned from it, thank them for the lesson, and to
release them in love. This technique will completely free you from the
events that took place and give you absolute freedom to move forward to
find the love of your life. Love and forgiveness are close friends and cannot
stand to be apart. In fact they will not tolerate separation.

I want you to come up with 25 events to forgive. It may seem difficult at first
but as you dig deep you will see the past hurts start to flow. Now you can
clear them. The first time I did this exercise it really brought me to tears but
afterwards my soul felt like a fresh rain had came through. It felt so good,
I’ve done it a few times just to make sure I have truly let go of certain
events. So without further ado let’s get started on this thing..so that you can
F the past!

Focused Forgiveness Exercise

You’re about to forgive the hell out of some people, let’s go: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.
11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

20

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

After completing this exercise, how do you feel? You just released a lot of
emotion, so you might have a mixture of feelings. It is ok. You have been
emotionally backed up for years and you are detoxing. Just accept whatever
comes up and know that everything will get better from this day onward. Be
patient. Do this exercise a couple more times, if you feel you still harbor
some resentment or negativity. Most of all, I want you to remember to
forgive yourself. You are doing the best you can. I am proud of you, you
deserve relief.

21

DAY

NOW LEAN BAC K

“You don't need to justify your love, you don't need to explain your love, you
just need to practice your love.” -Miguel Ruiz

L eaning back means you detach from the outcome. You do not have an
agenda. Leaning back is about mirroring his interests. You mirror his
investment. You drop all expectations. You remove attachment. You are not
concerned about where things are heading. You are not trying to control him
or any situation. Instead you surrender to what is.

Examples of Leaning Forward

You have not heard from him, so you text him.

Your job just gave you tickets to a fun festival, so you decide to invite him.

You go onto his social media like all his pics, statuses, comment, and watch
every single one of his Snaps as soon as he post, hoping that he will
remember you are alive.

After a date you ask him when you will see him again.

He casually mentions getting together on Saturday afternoon. It is see

Saturday morning and you haven't heard from him so you text him to see if
you guys are still on.

You ask him why he hasn't contacted you.

He has not introduced you to anyone but you introduce him to your mom.

You surprise him with dinner or a gift.

You go to his house and turn into his maid and/or personal chef.

You “run” into him.

The examples above show what is looks like to lean forward with a man.
These scenarios are operating in masculine energy and show a woman who
has an agenda.

She is trying to control the outcome. Control feels like desperation to men. It
is a major turn off and he will pull away.

When a woman is operating in masculine energy, a man feels uncomfortable

and unsafe. On the flip side, feminine energy causes him to feel warm and
comfortable.

Below are examples of leaning back to the same above scenarios.

Examples of Leaning Back

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You don't ever initiate contact.

Your job just gave you tickets to a fun festival, you call and invite your best
friend.

You haven't even added him back on your social media.

After a date, you thank him warmly and go about your business.

You didn't hear from him by Thursday so you already accepted a date with
another man on your roster.
He hasn’t contact you? Tuh, you didn’t notice. His number isn’t even saved
in your phone.

As far as he knows you have no friends or family.

You give yourself gifts.

You sit back, act as a guest, and let him attend to you at his house.

You stay the hell away from wherever he might be.

When you lean back you detach from the outcome and allow him to pursue
you.

He doesn't follow through, you knock him down on your roster and you keep
it moving. No questions. No drama. Instead you stay leaned back in your
feminine energy and thus stay magnetic.

23

Wifed Up Assessment

1. In what ways have you been leaning forward?

2. Write 3 scenarios that are leaning forward and give opposite examples of
leaning back.

24

DAY

STOP DOING THE MOS T

“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's
just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” -
Deborah Reber
Y esterday, you saw how unattractive leaning forward is and why you need
to practice leaning back. You need to learn the very effective art of being.
Not doing, just being. Not giving, but receiving. Not thinking, but feeling.
You just need to commit to stop doing anything that feels like “work” around
a man.

If you want to be the feminine energy counterpart in the relationship, then

you need to stop operating in masculine energy. You are taking away the
pleasure of being a man from your man. A man gets his worth in being the
doing, thinking, and managing counterpart in the relationship. This is what it
means to be masculine.

By doing so much you are telling him that you do not trust him to provide,
take care of you, and cherish your femininity. When you do everything in a
relationship you are telling a man that he is unable to make you happy.

What happens when you do too much?

He will begin to become lazy and complacent in your relationship. He will

slowly stop making any effort to make you happy. He will just sit back and
let you do all the work until it gets to be too much for him. A man needs to
express his masculinity so if he cannot do it with you he will find another
way. He will go to where his masculinity is welcomed. He may start
cheating and/or eventually leave.

You are used to taking actions in your interactions with men because it
makes you feel like you are in control. You thought if you can control the
direction and the outcome of the relationship you will be able to get
everything you want out of a man.

But this control is false. Love cannot be controlled. It is limitless and

expansive and should be allowed to roam freely. When you let go of the
need to take control and just enjoy each moment and check in with how you
feel you open up the door for true intimacy to come in. You are able to be
vulnerable. Vulnerability goes a long way with establishing a connection
with a man.
I believe most women do too much in a relationship because they want to be
appreciated. However, it never works because appreciation is what the
masculine energy wants. As long as you are dealing with a masculine man
you will never get 25

appreciation for what you do.

The feminine energy gets appreciation for just being who she is, not from
doing.

So stop! Stop doing the most!

Today, I want you to stop doing the most in your relations with men. You
will stop doing everything that has not served you in the past. You will stop
trying to earn your way into a man’s heart. You will commit to putting
yourself first and your feelings. You will not pretend or play hard to get. You
will authentically own your femininity.

Decide today that you will stop relying on action to connect with a man.
Decide today that you will stop trying to control men and relationships.
Decide today that you will instead relax and embrace your feminine nature.
The more you make these decisions the easier it is to change your mindset
and start embracing a new way to attract the high quality masculine men that
you want that are open to love.

Today’s action is simple. You will practice putting yourself first and
connecting with your feelings. Let go of what anyone else might think of
you or what other obligations you might have today. You will make today a
day that is all about you.

26

Wifed Up Assessment

Today you will do one activity to put yourself first. This activity is all about
you.
It could be going on a walk, getting a massage, going to the gym, getting an
ice cream, going to your favorite restaurant, or buying those shoes that were
on sale. The list is endless. After you have done this activity, come back here
answer the following questions.

1. What activity did you choose? Why?

2. How did it feel to put yourself first?

3. What were 3 emotions you felt today?

4. Did you feel guilt or uncomfortable feelings doing your activity? If so,
why?

5. What are some ways you do too much with men? Why do you do those
things?

In case you felt any negative feeling, you deserved the time you took for
yourself.

I am proud of you!

27

DAY

MASCULINE RESPECT

“In modern society, there are fewer and fewer opportunities for men to be
men.

For masculinity to flourish in all its glory.” -Milo Yiannopoulos H opefully

after yesterday you are refreshed and ready to keep going!

To a man respect is love. A man cannot feel love if he is not respected.

Respect is the highest need for a man. A man who does not feel he is
respected by his woman will not commit to her because he does not trust her.
A man who does not feel respect cannot feel trust.

Respecting a man is about understanding that his ego is tied to how he feels
about himself when he is around you. Respecting his masculinity will set his
attraction for you on fire. Masculine respect fulfills the subconscious
prerequisite he needs before he feels it's safe to let his guard down. When he
lets his guard down he has given you direct access to penetrate his heart.

I have coached a few clients on how to respect their men and the changes in
their relationship have improved drastically.

The best way to make sure that you are respecting the masculine is by
following these 5 rules:

The 5 Rules of Masculine Respect

Give up trying to control him. I have spoken about control before but now
I will tell you why it is important to your partner. Trying to control a man,
makes him feel incompetent, useless and like a small child. Examples:

”You need to call me more.”

“I need you to do this...that.”

“Take the kids to school.”

Seeing a man and approaching him first.

Inviting him anywhere.

Initiating any type of contact.

Give up trying to control the outcome/situation. This right here is

probably one of the fastest ways to kill attraction with a man. Trying to
move the relationship or lack thereof forward is the best example of this.
Trying to move things forward looks like offering to pay for anything,
planning dates/outings, trying to get something out of 28
him, pretty much DOING anything. As I stated before, doing is masculine.
Relax.

Give up the 7 Deadly C’s. Trying to manage a man or a relationship is very

disrespectful to the role of the masculine energy and looks like: coercing -
“If you don’t do this, then there will be no sex.”

criticizing - “You are not doing this right. Let me do it.”

condemning - “I hate when you do that.”

counseling - “You really should do things in this manner.”

cautioning - “If I were you, I would think twice before….”

coaxing - “Oh, please, pretty, pretty please…”

calculating - “Zales is having a huge sale on diamonds...”

Give up trying to change him. If you cannot accept a man for who he is
right now, not who he has the potential to be, but who he is right now, please
leave him alone. There is nothing that will make a man flee away from you
faster than trying to change him in anyway. If you do not like a man for who
he is, he is not the one for you and you are not the one for him. Men need
this acceptance.

Give up your need for a ‘yes.’ If a man says “no” about going to that
concert with you, you accept it. You do not try to guilt him, ask for reasons
and explanations, use manipulations or any of those things. You let it go.
You go by yourself or with someone else.

As you can see these 5 rules will pretty much stop all conflict in your
interactions with men. Stop doing these things will show your man you
respect his masculinity and leadership. Later we will talk about what to do to
communicate since you have stopped the disrespect. For now let’s get ready
to dive into today’s assessment.

29
Wifed Up Assessment

1. In what ways, if any, have you been disrespecting the masculine?

2. Which of the 7 Deadly C’s do you commit the most?

3. What is your key takeaway from today’s lesson?

30

DAY

RECEIVE, RECIPROCATE, REPEA T

“Women still dream and hope, pin their emotions on some man who doesn't
reciprocate, and end up in confusion. -Elizabeth Elliott Masculine men fall
in love while giving to you. They fall in love when you are receptive to their
giving. And lastly they fall in love with how you are able to reciprocate their
efforts.

Biologically, women are meant to receive. During intercourse, you receive a

man into you and at the time of orgasm you receive his ejaculation. So based
on nature, the way to intimacy with a man is when you are open and
receptive to his giving. When you are comfortable sitting back and receiving
you are in your true feminine nature.

How can I receive?

When a man offers or does anything for you to show his affection or to help
you in someway you accept it, warmly. If he offers to fix something at your
house, you let him and you say, ‘thank you,’ excitedly. You do not say, “No,
I got it. I can do it!”

When you reject a man's giving, you reject his masculinity and you have
missed an opportunity to build attraction and connection between you two.
You need to get comfortable receiving and reciprocating in order to show
your appreciation. A masculine man wants to give to the woman of his
affections and he wants her to appreciate his efforts. He wants to be the man
and step up and show out.

But he can only do what you let him do.

Men are simple. They gravitate toward women who make them feel good. A
man feels good when he is able to be in his masculine energy (giving) and
you are in your feminine energy (receiving). It is a beautiful well-
choreographed dance.

Then you reciprocate his giving to show your appreciation. Behind respect,
appreciation is the second highest need of a man.

How do you reciprocate?

Well let’s say a man has been consistent in his efforts and have taken you on
5

nice dates (he picked you up, he paid, told you goodnight, etc.). For the 6th
date, you can offer to cook him dinner at your place. This way you are
reciprocating his efforts and showing him appreciation for his consistency in
pursuing you. This is also good because it shows him that you are not just a
person who takes and takes and is selfish.

You are also giving him a preview of your cooking skills (can you say ‘wife
31

material?). But you are not taking the lead which allows him to do so and he
feels comfortable to continue to pursue you.

So in order to capture the heart of the masculine man in your life you have to
stop giving first, which is a form of control, and start receiving and
reciprocating with appreciation what he is giving to you. He should be
coming toward you, pursuing you while you are laid back and taking in all
the attention with warmth and enthusiasm and every so often match his
effort with a token of appreciation.

Some of the ways that you can reciprocate and show appreciation for the
man in your life are:

Buying him a small token.

Keeping his favorite beer in your fridge

Calling him handsome, after he called you beautiful Giving him your
undivided attention when you are on the phone or in his presence.

Answering the phone warmly to name a few.

Being a more feminine woman takes strength, especially for the modern
woman who is used to being masculine. It takes a strong woman to sit back
and relinquish control. It takes a strong woman to receive happily without
guilt. It takes a strong woman to know how to reciprocate. It takes an even
stronger woman to understand how this dynamic is essential to getting men
to cherish her.

32

Wifed Up Assessment

1. Do you feel like you are the one always giving in your relationship? How
has that worked for you? How has that made you feel?

2. Do you feel that you have to show a man that you are interested or he will
lose interest? How has that worked for you?

3. Do you find that you feel slighted in love often? Do you wonder why you
give so much to men and they just disappear, ghost and stop making any
effort?

4. Do you find that you become needy and clingy in your interactions
because men keep pulling away?
5. List 3 instances you can reciprocate with a man.

33

DAY

FEMININITY IS THE JUIC E

“They asked her, “how did you free yourself?” She answered, “by
embracing my own power.” -Yung Pueblo

A woman's femininity is her power. If a man can “figure” out what a woman
is about she isn't living in her authentic nature and her attractive pull is
weak. A woman isn't supposed to make sense to a man she is supposed to
make him feel curiousity, intrigue, and merryment. The sensuality and
sexuality of a woman draws men in from afar. It's like moths to a flame.

Feminine energy is about feeling, expressing, intuiting, just being, following,

creating and receiving. Your feminine energy is about how you engage with
a man to ignite this masculine energy. To be in your feminine energy means
you are comfortable with listening to your intuition and expressing your
feelings. You live in the moment with a zest for life.

The main thing that makes the feminine woman so attractive to a masculine
man is that she is able to make him FEEL. The masculine man is always
thinking, planning and just in his head so much that he usually is not capable
of accessing his feelings.

However, when he is in the presence of a feminine woman who expresses

her feelings, he is able to access his feelings. This is why masculine seeks
feminine, to access his heart.

When you are open to your feminine energy with him, you give him a safe
place to express his masculine energy to you. And when the exchanges of
energy are flowing back and forth between each other - a true heart
connection is made. A man falls in love with a woman who gets him out of
his head and into his heart. He falls in love with a woman for reasons he
cannot name, not because she is sexy, sweet or successful. When asked he
will say, “It’s just something about her.” That “something”

is her ability to touch his heart by her first touching her own heart.

If you like the idea of being with a masculine man (a man who leads,
initiates, actualizes,etc.) than it is important that you become a feminine
woman.

Embodying your feminine energy will get you all the affection and adoration
in a relationship you want. You embody your feminine energy by tuning into
how you feel, trusting those feelings and expressing those feelings. It means
being committed to what is right for you based on those feelings. It means
practicing and being comfortable with vulnerability.

34

You dance. You cry. You laugh. You play. You are relaxed and going with
the flow as long as it feels good to you.

The feminine is about connection. When you can own your feminine essence
you can connect with anyone. You can form all relationships easily,
including lasting friendships. When a woman is connected she is thriving.
She is connected to life and love. And life and love comes back to her full
throttle. She does not need to earn the love or approval of anyone.

Her being magnetizes men to her like a single focused laser. They want to
get more of what she offers because it is overflowing onto them. She has all
the juiciness men can't explain but crave.

35

Wifed Up Assessment

1. Based on what you learned today, what is femininity to you?

2. Are you committed to embracing your feminine essence so that you can
attract the type of man you want? How?

3. Let’s practice tuning into your feelings, trusting them, and expressing
them.

What do you feel about your love life right now? Why do you feel that? Do
you feel comfortable expressing how you feel?

36

DAY

10

HE’S ALREADY BEEN RAISE D

“You can’t raise a man, he’s already grown, what you gonna do?” -K.
Michelle I have talked about control previously, and how it will have a man
fleeing from you in a nanosecond but today I want to talk about a specific
form of control: mothering. Mothering is the worse and most common way
women emasculate men.

Men lose all attraction for women who act like their mother. A man doesn't
want to fuck his mom. The idea repulses him and so will any woman who
acts like his mother.

What is mothering?

Mothering is when you are doing things for him he didn’t ask you to do,
giving him an opinion or advice he didn’t ask you for. You tell him what to
do and how to live his life. You think you are being helpful or nurturing but
you are not. You are, however, emasculating him. Neither does a man need a
woman to tell him how TO

DO anything nor does he want her to tell him WHAT TO DO. Keep all
unsolicited advice, comments, and criticisms to yourself. The best rule to
remember is when in doubt, keep quiet.
Mothering is a huge turn off to men. It does nothing but pushes him away.
Some may call it nurturing. Some may call it being a ride or die. Some may
say it’s being a good girlfriend. Whatever you call it, it’s a turnoff to men. It
kills all the attraction in him. Men want a woman who they can take home to
their mom, not be their mom.

Mothering a man tells him you do not trust him to be a man. You are telling
him you know how to be a man more than he does. You are telling him that
he cannot figure out his life without your help and guidance. He will begin to
feel unsafe, hindered and that he cannot be himself. He will go seek out a
woman who allows him to feel safe being him and being the leader in the
relationship he was born to be.

A common theme I see in relationships are women seeing potential in a man

and taking him on as a project to get him to this potential they believe he
has. This is a huge mistake, you are taking away who he is as a man. If you
cannot accept a man for who he is today then you are the wrong woman for
him and you need to release him.

Do not try to better him. He will grow to resent you as his attraction for you
goes down to zero.

So if you feel that you need to direct, control or give more than a man than
you are mothering him. This is never good. A man is not looking for a
replacement mom.

37

He is looking for a partner who knows how to support him from her
feminine place.

When you do this he will be inspired to step up himself and be the man you
need..if he is the right man for you.

38

Wifed Up Assessment
1. In what ways have you mothered a man?

2. Where did your mothering behavior originate? Did you see your mother
do it?

3. What is the opposite of mothering?

4. What can you do today to stop mothering your man? Or a future man?

5. Have you ever believed that you had to be a “ride or die” chick for your
man and

“hold him down” during a rough patch? How did that turn out?

39

DAY

11

YOUR EGO WILL KEEP YOU SINGL E

“Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos. That
is the way we all see each other in life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition-- all
such distortions within our own egos-- condition our vision of those in
relation to us.” -

Tennessee Williams

T he ego is not your amigo. If you are apart of my Facebook group, Wifedup
Movement, you have heard me talk about the ego extensively and how it
does not serve you. The ego will keep you single because it will keep you
defensive and in constant upset. The ego does not want us to become
vulnerable. The ego does not belong in a relationship because the ego cannot
fit into the construct of a relationship.

A relationship is about connection, however, the ego is about conflict,

drama, and separation.
If you want to have a successful love life, you must learn to tame your ego.

Throughout my journey, in my own love life, I have realized the importance

of being a humble person who is not controlled by my ego. Because of my
psychology background, I have put some research into the ego and how to
overcome it. I still am a work in progress but I am able to recognize when
my ego is rearing its ugly head and choose an alternative response. The ego
is very manipulative and controlling. It's impossible to completely overcome
the ego but as long as you mostly control it and it doesn't mostly control you,
you have arrived.

The ego is the enemy of femininity because it is based in fear. Fear is the
opponent of vulnerability. Vulnerability is the core of femininity. In order to
connect with a masculine man, as I have said before, you must tune into your
femininity and your vulnerability. The ego is all about itself it does not care
about connection, it does not care about love, it does not care about
couplehood it only cares about being right and self-validation.

This is why so many women are not able to make a connection with a man
because they are so ego-driven. The ego makes things hard for us because it
does not want to fall in line it wants to exert its dominance and it wants to be
the most important aspect of any interactions we have with others. The ego
is very reliant on self-importance. Love is not hard at all, connection is not
hard at all, relationship is not hard at all, joy is not hard at all. The
conflicting ego is what makes things hard for us.

40

What is the ego?

The ego is the part of yourself that drives on separation and conflict. It is the
part of yourself that is comprised of your beliefs and perspectives. It creates
and aims to protect your self-identity. This identity the ego has constructed is
around self-importance and self-preservation and it does anything to stay
comfortable in this identity it has created.
When it's presented with information that it recognizes as true but challenges
the identity it has created, it causes you to feel attacked and offended. In this
way, you are too busy defending your identity to heed the changes or truth in
the new information.

You stay stuck in the same patterns and the ego is happy.

Possessiveness, neediness, attachment, fear all come from the ego. These
traits are very, very detrimental to a relationship. What rises up is the need
for power and control based off of these negative traits. The second we feel
like a partner or potential partner is pulling away from us or rejecting us our
ego raises its hideous head. The ego causes us to close the gap and take
action. It causes us to start pursuing our men in order to “fix” things and to
ease what we sense is rejection. The ego cannot handle rejection, whenever
the ego feels rejected it acts like a little child having a temper tantrum and if
you are not self-aware it can cause you to lash out at others.

The ego also loves to play the blame game. It is always ‘his’ fault. You are
an innocent victim who never does anything wrong. The whole world is out
to get you especially this man or that man. When you start dating, all of the
fears and insecurities that you had before come to the surface. So you can
either blame others or you can deal with your shit. Deal with your shit so
that you can attract better or improve existing relationships. Relationships
challenge us. They cause us to grow. They bring up all of the nasty stuff that
we really don’t want to deal with. But love will bring up all those things that
are not lovely so that you can release them. And remember that the issues
that you keep having in every relationship are the ones that you really need
to focus on. But your ego wants you to believe that you keep having these
issues because other people are the problem and you are perfect. Don’t
blame him or the outside world. Instead, take responsibility for creating your
own circumstances and make love and connection your priority; not useless
drama and ego struggles.

Taming the ego is important because it will keep you out your feminine
essence.
The ego does not like vulnerability because it means it has to acknowledge
its woundings and remember the ego thinks it’s already perfect and does not
need to change.

If you want to establish a deep connection with a man you must release your
ego.

You must be open to criticism from those who know more than you and you
must be open to your man. Be open bu choosing connection over being right.

41

Wifed Up Assessment

Today I want to give you affirmations that will will help to reprogram your
mind and to get out of your ego and into connection.

“I am open to love. I am open to trust. I am open to connection. I let go of

fear. I let go of worry. I let go of blame. I let go of everything that does not
serve me on my journey to finding the perfect partner for me. I am
surrounded by people who love me.

I love my life. I love myself. I love those around me. Because I am

surrounded by love I accept my flaws. I accept correction. I accept
constructive criticism. I feel liberated from my worries. I feel liberated from
my fears. I feel liberated from negative ego responses. I am gentle with
myself knowing that I am doing the best that I can and I open my heart. My
heart is open and receptive. My heart remains open no matter what the
situation is. My light does not dim. I open myself up to vulnerability because
I deserve authentic connection and genuine love. I love myself.”

Now answer the following:

1. How did you feel before you did the affirmations?

2. How did you feel while you were saying the affirmations?

3. What thoughts came up as you were reciting the affirmations?

4. Any issues that you have repressed come up?

5. How did you feel after you finished the affirmations?

42

DAY

12

NO DOORMAT ZON E

“If they aren't treating you right, it's time to stop blaming them. You decide
your worth, so if you don't want to be a doormat, get off the floor.” -Charles
Orlando W hen many think of ‘being feminine’ they think of being a
doormat. It is thought that femininity is synonymous to being weak minded.
Femininity, however, is the opposite of weakness. A truly feminine woman
is a powerhouse.

You should never let a man (or anyone for that matter) walk over you. There
is nothing more unattractive to a man than a woman who doesn't have any
boundaries and standards and lets him walk all over her like she's a plush
rug.

Being a doormat means that you do whatever he wants you to do or what

you think would please him without first tuning into yourself to see if that is
what you want to do or how you feel about it. You constantly ignore red
flags and makes excuses. You feel guilty, feel undeserving, and feel “bad”
when he mistreats you.

You tell yourself the false narrative that if you just do what he wants he will
love, cherish and commit to you someday.

This approach will never work for you. A man will never respect a woman
who does not respect herself. He will never respect a woman who puts him
before herself at her own peril and happiness. He will just use you up, throw
you away and find and commit to a woman with standards and self respect.
Stop. Stop putting men who are not your husband before you. Get in tuned to
your feelings and what you want and start going in that direction. It may be
scary initially to put yourself first and to believe and have courage that you
are capable of getting love by standing up for yourself. But you have to
remember if you do not stand up for yourself, who will? If you do not love
yourself, who will? Let me tell you who, no one!

A man cannot connect with a woman who is not being authentic. A doormat
is not being authentic, you are ignoring your true self. You are craving that
the man in your life will give you what you refuse to give yourself. He will
not. It all starts with you.

Give yourself what you want to receive.

Take responsibility for your life. Being a doormat means that you have
handed over the reigns of your life to someone else and you are just crossing
your fingers hoping everything works out in your favor. This is not the way
to get his commitment.

43

The solution is to instead tune into your feminine energy. The key is to put
your heart first. Look into your emotions and own them and speak from
them. Speak from your emotions to communicate boundaries. When
something feels good, say it. When something does not feel good, say it.
When you want to do something, say it. When you don’t want to do
something, say so. This is how a man can trust you. He can trust you because
you are being true to yourself. We trust those who are truthful.

You have to let go of the fear that if you exert your standards and boundaries
that he will be turned off or go away. He will not. He will feel safer with you
because he can trust that you will keep it real with him. But if for some
reason he does leave..then you dodged a bullet. The right man will never
leave you for being true to yourself and your boundaries. Men love
standards. Remember to do what is in the best interest for your heart.

44
Wifed Up Assessment

1. What did you think a doormat meant before today?

2. Are there times you have been a doormat? How did it feel?

3. Are you ready to put yourself first in dating? How committed are you?

45

DAY

13

HERE’S HOW TO GET HIM TO DO WHAT

YOU WAN T

“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but wanting to
control it.” -Kahlil Gibran

O nce you begin to let go of control, and allow your man to take the lead you
will begin to see that he wants to do everything he possibly can to make you
happy.

Your man now feels confident in the fact that he can make you happy, he will
look for ways to make you happy, and he will make it his mission to make
you happy. When you stop telling a man what to do, that is when it will be
easy to get him to do what you want him to do.

So how do you get him to do what you want him to do?

I have already explained to you what doesn't work with communicating with
the masculine energy. So now it is time to explain to you what does work
when communicating with masculine men.

Today, you will learn how to express yourself in an authentic and feminine
way that will inspire him to give you exactly what you want and need. Since
you are no longer telling him what to do, he will not: withdraw, shut down,
or become defensive.

Instead he will become enchanted with you and he will want to know what is
going on with you, what are you feeling and how he can become your hero.

This is the perk of expressing yourself femininely. Expressing yourself and

your needs in this way will avoid drama and control. You will simply get in
tune with your feelings and then you will express yourself without blame
from those feelings Doing this will get in touch with his heart and he feel
inspired to give you what you want and what you need.

Major key alert: understanding this simple concept today will be the main
key that will get you the relationship that you have always dreamt of with a
high-quality masculine man.

The first step is to identify h ow you feel.

Being feminine is about being in your feelings. But not in your feelings in
the messy, dramatic, and petty way that does not work with men. Being in
the feminine means you are in tune with your feelings and emotions and you
are expressing 46

yourself from that place. This is the opposite of control, you are simply
expressing how you feel at any given moment and expressing what you want
and what you don't want, what you will accept and what you will not accept,
what feels good and what doesn't feel good in a way that will compel a man
to step up. The masculine man cannot resist a woman who expresses herself
to him in feminine energy. His natural instinct is to make the feminine
happy. This is the power of the feminine.

I understand that this is a new concept for many, so today we will do an

exercise to help you to tune into and recognize your feelings. You cannot
express your feelings to a man if you are not able to identify those feelings
and feel comfortable with those feelings. Do not be afraid of your feelings.
You may have heard that men do not like feelings, but the truth is is that they
do not like drama. Drama is what happens when a woman is full of fear and
tries to control situations. Drama is when you make a man responsible for
your happiness. You place the blame on him instead of checking your
expectations. This attack and blame on a man causes instant withdrawal and
defensiveness in him as his masculinity is being challenged. It feels terrible
to him and all he wants to do is get away. But now you know better and you
will do better.

So let's get started.

“Feel the Feeling” Exercise

I want you to sit down in a comfortable chair or lay down on your back with
your arms to your side, legs stretched out and together and close your eyes.
Now focus on your breath. Breathe in to the count of four, hold it, now
breathe out to the count of four. Do this seven times. Now you should be
relaxed and very comfortable.

Now I want you to take a deep breath feel the breath expand your body now
breathe out and as you breathe out pay attention to what is coming from your
heart.

Do not pay attention to your thoughts, pay attention to your heart tune into
the voice of your heart.

Now ask your heart for a feeling. Say, “Dear heart, what do you feel right
now?”

Listen intently to the answer. Do not judge the answer or be in denial of the
answer. It will be an emotion or some type of sensation in your body. What
came up? Anger?

Fear? Sadness? Bliss? Excitement? Embarrassment? Disappointment?

Remember these are your feelings and they do not have anything to do with
anyone else.

Examples of sensations are: ‘I feel cold.’ ‘I feel hungry.’ ‘I feel butterflies in

my stomach.’
Now, once you have located your feelings and/or sensations. Thank your
heart for responding to you and now you can open your eyes. Immediately
dive into today’s assessment.

47

Wifed Up Assessment

1. Did you locate a feeling or sensation?

2. What emotions and/or sensations came up?

3. Was it easy to come up with an emotion or sensation?

4. How do you feel overall about this exercise? Was it Scary? Relieving?
Something else?

5. What is the difference between expressing your feelings and being

dramatic?

48

DAY

14

YOU ARE WORTH Y

“You are worthy of love and respect. You are beautiful, gifted, and
intelligent.

Don’t let the storm make you forget that.” -Thema Davis I want you to
realize that you are worthy of the love you desire. You are worthy of being
#wifedup!

I want you to become a goddess. I want you to know how to be a high value
woman who knows her worth. That has this certain vibe that emanates
effortlessly and magnetizes any man that comes across your path. It comes
from unwavering self-love and self-esteem.

This has nothing to do with your outside beauty. You are attractive beyond
the physical. You have personality, self-confidence and charisma that makes
men addicted to you. You embrace your feminine charm and sexuality. You
are not using your sexuality as a bargaining chip but a vehicle for bonding
and self-expression.

You have got to understand that you are the key to attracting the man of your
dreams. As a woman you are the most important part of a relationship, you
are the heartbeat of the relationship. You need to embrace your power and
stop handing it over to men. You have got to put yourself first. You also must
remain open to love.

You cannot shut down because you have had some bad experiences.

When you recite things like, “I'm never going to find the one”, “Men suck”,

“There are no good men left”, “All men cheat”, you are telling the universe
to continue to give you the same crap you have been getting. Change your
vibe, to change your tribe.

The more you torment yourself ruminating over the mistakes that you have
made in the past with men the further away you get from seeing your own
self worth. When you don't see your self worth you do not realize that all of
those mistakes are preparing you to receive the man that is meant for you if
you take the steps to truly become feminine and understand men.

Baby girl, in order to attract a high-quality man you have to believe that you
deserve a high-quality man. High quality men know that they are high
quality, and they only want a woman who also thinks of herself as high-
quality. You cannot attract a man of high worth and you hanging in the lower
worth corner.

49
There is a saying going around stating that you date at the level of your self-
esteem, and nothing could be more true. In the past you have attracted men
who didn’t see your worth not because you didn’t have any worth, but
because you didn't see your own worth so there was nothing there for them
to see. If there is something missing in your love life it's because there's
something that you aren't giving out. You can never receive what you do not
give and the giving must start with yourself.

A feminine woman embraces herself for who she is now while working on
becoming the best version of herself. Even though she accepts herself, and
loves herself, and sees her worth she knows that there is always room for
improvement. Just because you are working to improve yourself does not
mean that you are not already worthwhile. Embrace the change, embrace the
new perspective that this book and my other teachings give you about dating
and love but never feel like you aren't already a priceless gem and an
absolute goddess because you are.

So in order to get the type of relationship you want, you have to change the
way you view yourself. Relationships are mirrors. What you see out there is
a reflection of what is going on inside of you.

Change your beliefs about yourself, men, relationships, the feminine, the
masculine, and what you deserve in a relationship. This is the foundation of
how you will move past what is keeping you stuck in the same dead end
pattern. Once you are able to identify and clarify what it is you really want,
you will realize your self-worth.

This is how you will manifest getting #wifedup.

50

Wifed Up Assessment

1. Have you struggled with low self-worth in the past?

2. How do you think having low self-worth as affected past relationships?

3. Are you willing to change your beliefs and perspectives in order to receive
the relationship that you want?

4. What are the consequences of continuing not to value yourself?

5. What do you believe to be the source of your low self-worth?

6. What is the actual truth about yourself? What is the truth about your
worth?

7. Using #6, write an affirmation stating your worth in the present tense.
Recite this affirmation daily until you believe it to be a certified fact.

8. How do you feel after writing that affirmation?

51

DAY

15

VULNERABILITY IS THE SECRET SAUC E

“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being

open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life
means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your
vulnerability: it is your greatest asset.” -Stephen Russell

I n order to make a heart connection with a man you must be vulnerable.

Remember, you are the heartbeat of a relationship: you have got to open
yourself up first. A man can never open his heart up to a woman who hasn’t
first made herself vulnerable to him. In order to form a connection with a
man you must be authentic, open to love, and receptive.

Being vulnerable is the key to building a heart centered connection with a

man.
Being vulnerable can be scary but it is also the most rewarding part of a
relationship. You become vulnerable when you stop trying to control
situations with men, when you stop trying to lead situations with men, when
you stop overthinking a situations with men, and when you stop doing more
than your fair share with men.

Then you are able to step into your feminine essence: showing appreciation
and expressing your feelings. Yes this can be scary because you are no
longer in a false sense of control, now you have to let go and trust the
process. You do not need to trust a man, you need to trust your feelings and
you need to trust the process. The process is putting yourself first, setting up
standards, and only tolerating situations that feel good to you every moment.

I know in today's age, women have allowed the fuckboys of the world to
harden their hearts. You are so terrified of being played that you run from
intimacy, closeness and connection. But if you continue to run, you will find
yourself tired and still alone.

Since, a lot of women have felt that men have failed them, they have decided
to be their own man. They have have put armor around their heart and sealed
up their vulnerability.

You tell yourselves that you can do the same things than men do. You tell
yourselves that you can be savages. You tell yourselves that you can have
casual sex and not catch feelings. You tell yourselves that you are
independent women who do not need a man. You tell yourselves that you are
educated and financially stable and do not need a man for anything other
than sex. You tell yourselves that you can play the 52

same games men play. You tell yourselves that you can think like men and
beat them at their own game. You tell yourselves that you are equal to men.
But in actuality all you are doing is feeding yourself a whole bunch of
bullshit that is keeping you super single and empty. Everything you are
telling yourself to keep you safe behind that stack of cards is a lie. Deep
down you know that it is a lie but it protects you from your fear of exposure
and your fear of being out of control. These lies, however, are doing nothing
but keeping you lonely, bitter and full of regret.
Because you are afraid to be vulnerable - you subconsciously choose men
who do not want you, men who are afraid of commitment, feminine men,
fuckboys, and narcissists. Or even worse you never get back out there in the
dating world, you fall and never get back up.

There is a better way. Instead of putting up a front, you need to set

boundaries and standards. This way you protect your heart by standing up
for it in an authentic manner. If you follow your feelings you will find that
you will not need to be afraid of being hurt. Your boundaries and standards
will not allow you to accept anything that is not serving you. Standards and
boundaries minimize hurt. Then you can feel comfortable surrendering your
heart to connection with a man.

It is true that dating is scary. You do not know if you will have a future with
this man or if he will play you. But vulnerability says, “Even though I am
afraid because I have no control over what may happen between this man
and myself, I surrender to the process by establishing my boundaries and
standards, trusting my feelings, and honoring those feelings in every
moment.”

Boundaries are lines that you will not allow to be crossed. For example, you
have established a boundary that a man cannot meet your children until you
guys are engaged. Another example, is you do not allow men into your home
on the first date.

A standard is a personal constitution by which you live your life. A standard

could be that you date for marriage, you do not date just to date. A standard
is that you date men who are emotionally available.

So yes love is risky and being vulnerable is even riskier but if you are not
vulnerable you will never experience true love.

As I stated earlier, you must go first, terrified, trembling and surrendered.

The feminine is responsible for the feelings of the relationship. Therefore the
masculine will not be able to open up to his feelings until the feminine
exposes her feelings, lays them raw on the table, and puts down the walls
that she has built. When you do this, the right man for you will honor your
feelings and worship your vulnerability.

Vulnerability is the secret sauce.

53

Wifed Up Assessment

1. What does it feel like to just let go? What does it feel like to surrender?

2. What would happen if I rewrote the protective narratives I've told myself
to protect myself from being hurt?

3. What would happen if I let go of control and traded it for connection?

4. What are 3 boundaries/ standards I can establish right now that will be my
guide book?

5. Am I willing to let go of the walls I have built around my heart? How?

6. In what ways in the past did I choose fear over intimacy and
vulnerability?

7. Am I willing to let go of my trust issues surrounding men and instead trust

myself?

54

DAY

16

BUILD A ROSTE R

“You have as many options as you give yourself.” -Kasie West N ow the fun
begins! It’s time to let go of the girlfriend mindset. Being a girlfriend
(friends with benefits, baby mama, side chick or any other unmarried
relations) is a trap. I wrote an extensive article, The Girlfriend Trap, on my
blog, Wifed Up Coach. If you are a part of my Facebook group, Wifed Up
Movement, you will have heard me say on multiple occasions the
importance of maintaining a roster.

What is a roster?

A roster is a group of men you are dating simultaneously with the purpose of
marriage. The magic number is three. If you can handle more men than
great, but three is a great start. Having a roster allows you to take control of
your love life, you are not at the mercy of any man. When you date one man
exclusively, also known as being a girlfriend, you are waiting for him to
either dump you or marry you. You're waiting can go on for years possibly
decades. The way to take back your power is to commit yourself to the
relationship that you want not to any one man.

That commitment to a relationship begins with a roster. Building a roster

isn’t necessarily about finding the one, it is about learning how to interact
with men, learning what you like and it is also about building your
confidence. It's about learning your limits and your standards so that you can
be ready for the man of your dreams.

Building a roster protects you. It keeps you from investing too much
emotionally into one man who may not be the one for you. It keeps you in
control of your heart.

Keeping a roster is all about putting your needs first. You are essentially
putting up standards. A man will understand that in your order to get your
commitment he has to fully commit to the type of relationship that you want.

Keeping a roster will ensure that you are in your feminine energy. When you
have these men pursuing you, you are able to lean back and enjoy the ride.
You have a certain confidence that is very attractive to men. You are
attractive because you are allowing men to do what they are designed to do:
pursue. Men love a woman who has a relaxed energy that allows him to
chase her. Men are designed to be the one chasing, pursuing, and doing in a
relationship or they will never build any attraction with a woman.
You have to understand that dating is all about numbers. The more options
you 55

have the better selection you have. Every man you meet will not be the one.
If you make the mistake of becoming exclusive with a man who isn't the one
you will have wasted days, weeks, months, and possibly years on one man.
In that timeframe you could have met another man who could have been
your future husband.

Also when you date one man and it doesn’t work out you will will have to
start all over again with a broken heart. There is no broken heart in roster
dating because you are not investing yourself into just one man, your focus
is divided so that you will not make any one man too important. This
prevents heartbreak and hurt feelings.

In this way you respond to pursuit instead of pursuing. You are allowing
yourself to be the prize that you are.

No matter what a man says, men love competition. Men pursue women who
they deem are high-value and one of the ways men deem a woman high
value is his perception of her having other male suitors. If a man believes
that he is your only option he will not see you as that worthwhile. Things of
value are wanted and pursued by many.

Today I will give you a challenge to go out there and begin building your
roster. I want you to get comfortable with the idea of putting your needs first
by diverting your attention to multiple men so that you will not get hung up
on any one man.

For today's exercise, i want you to do two things: 1) I want you two have a
pep talk with yourself and convince yourself the importance a maintaining a
roster. 2) I want you to go out this Friday or Saturday night alone to 3-star or
above restaurant in your area. I want you to get dressed up and look your
best. When you get there go to the bar and sit at the bar, order a drink or an
appetizer. Keep inviting body language and a smile.
Doing these two exercises will open you up to an abundance of men and the
more men you have as suitors the more attractive you are to other men. So
get out of your comfort zone and get ready to attract the high-quality
masculine man of your dreams.

56

Wifed Up Assessment

1. Do you have any reservations about building a roster?

2. Will you go out this weekend and do this exercise?

3. How did you feel doing the exercise?

4. What ways can you ensure that you are successful in maintaining your
roster?

5. Are you committed to getting out and build your roster? If so, write the
following statement in the lines below, “I am committed to the type of
commitment I want and not to any one man. For this reason, I will actively
keep at least three men on my roster at all times until I receive the
relationship that I desire.”

57

DAY

17

AFFIRMING YOUR FEMININIT Y

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief
becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” -Claude Bristol T oday
we will learn about affirming the feminine. We have gone into detail about
how important it is to change your mindset in order to embrace your
feminine essence. There is nothing that will change your mindset and beliefs
more than affirmations. Affirmations are powerful, the more you do them the
more they will change your perspectives and your deep seated subconscious
beliefs.

The subconscious is the part of your mind where all your perspectives,
beliefs and views on life are held. Your subconscious is the one that propels
you to behave in certain ways based on what it has learned and observed in
your past conditioning.

You have programmed your subconscious with negative self-talk that has
resulted in fear and worry in your relationships. This negative self-talk sunk
deep into your subconscious and caused you to act out of masculine energy,
which has been detrimental to your connections with men. We need to
replace that negative self-talk with powerful feminine affirmations.

Affirmations are positive phrases that represent something you want to be

true about you present reality. Affirmations work best when you repeat them
with emotion.

You want to get in the feeling of each affirmation as you speak it. Without
putting feeling behind your words your subconscious will not accept your
reality as true and nothing will change for you. Convincing your
subconscious is the key to changing your beliefs.

The subconscious learns through repetition, this is why you must repeat
these phrases frequently in order to get them to be accepted by yourself
subconscious. You will notice that the more you repeat these statements the
easier to think feel and act more in your feminine essence.

For today's assessment, I want you to choose 5 affirmations that resonate

with you the most.

Remember to repeat them out loud to yourself daily, until you feel that your
subconscious has fully accepted these as new truths about yourself. You can
do these affirmations anywhere,doing anything. You will get the best
feedback however if you can do these looking at yourself in the mirror.

58
Also do not believe that you are just stuck with these five affirmations. You
can make up your own affirmations in addition to these and you can pick
more than 5 from my list.

I am a prize.

I am feminine and graceful.

I am feminine and open.

I release control.

I express my feelings freely.

I trust my intuition.

I put myself first.

I deserve love.

I love myself deeply.

I trust the masculine.

I am open to the masculine.

I follow the masculine.

I embrace vulnerability.

I love my feelings.

I relax.

I own my feelings.

I receive graciously.

I love men.
I am a goddess.

I am attracting a high-quality masculine man to me now.

As you say some of these affirmations you may feel like they are complete
and utter bullshit. This is normal. Your subconscious does not believe
anything that you are saying. But if you keep it up your subconscious will
start to believe the things that you are saying and changes will begin to
happen.

Please be patient with yourself. And planting affirmations are like any new
habit, you will not see results if you keep it up but nothing will happen
overnight.

Remember to do these affirmations daily. There are a lot of phone apps out
there that can assist you in remembering to do these daily. You can even
create alarms on your phone and have certain affirmations appear. Whatever
seems easiest to you. Just make sure to commit to doing these affirmations
daily.

59

Wifed Up Assessment

1. What are the the 5 affirmations you chose?

2. What feelings came up the first time you stated these affirmations?

3. I want you to practice these affirmations throughout the day with strong
emotion.

How do you feel at the end of the day?

4. Are you committed to saying these affirmations until you believe them?

60

DAY
18

OWNING YOUR SHI T

“If you could kick the person in the pants most responsible for your trouble,
you wouldn’t sit for a month.” - Theodore Roosevelt A ccountability is the
only road to growth. When you stop blaming men for what has happened in
your life you will be able to take ownership and change your life for the
better.

Take a moment and think about all the failed relationships you've had. What
is the common denominator?

The common denominator in all of your failed relationship is ...YOU.

Many women I work with have never heard of feminine energy or

maintaining a roster. They try to argue with me about these concepts I teach,
giving justifications like, “What you are saying, feels like games.”, “I do not
have time to date multiple men.” “There are no men in my town.” “Having a
roster is against my culture/religion/mom/society.” These are statements of
women who are stuck in the victim mentality and are not ready to own their
stuff. Then these women wonder why they have the same results over and
over. Sigh…

You play yourself when you do not keep your options open. A woman who
has a roster cannot be strong along because she is not able to give any one
man too much of her attention. She cannot afford to put too much stock in
one man and therefore he is not able to string her along or play her. She is
not invested in the outcome. And that is the thing, being invested in an
outcome it's how you get strong along and how you get played.

If you are playing the victim (admitting to being strong alone or played) then
you are admitting that you have surrendered your power. When you have a
roster, you have options, and when you have options you have power. You
can easily reject bad behavior without too much emotional strain.
A lot of women are practicing feminine energy but they are not practicing on
several men. They are too focused on getting this one man using my ‘tool’,
that they are in effect working against themselves. Most of these women are
not in committed relationships and they are trying to use feminine energy as
a method to get some type of commitment out of a certain man. This is the
wrong use of feminine energy.

Feminine energy is about taking your power back. You take your power back
by 61

committing to the type of relationship that you want, not to any one man I
am currently working with a client, who first resisted me on this roster
process.

She fought me every time I told her that she was working against herself, by
being exclusive with her man who after a few years still had not given her
the proposal she was longing for. But after the fourth session of working
with me she found that her man was talking to other women. She felt very
angry and that he had ‘strung her along.’ I explained to her that he had not
done anything wrong but she had in fact gave her power over to him. If she
had other options of men she would not have cared about what this man was
doing or not doing. After this she finally stopped resisting me on creating a
roster. Now she is in the process of dating two men who are pursuing her
heavily.

This is what happens when you date more than one man your energy is very
attractive to all the men around you. You are carefree and the opposite of
needy. And men just flow to you.

Taking responsibility is about learning to love in a detached way so that you

have no expectations of the outcome and cannot be hurt, strung along, or
played.

When you feel like you got slighted in a relationship, it’s because you held
expectations that the other person did not sign up for. Men did not hurt you.
You hurt yourself with your expectations, neediness, and low standards. I am
not saying, that men are perfect but I am saying that men do what you allow.
When you take accountability and realize that the common denominator in
every failed relationship has been yourself you will be ready to find the love
of your life.

Because you will look at dating with a whole set of eyes that really see how
you have to own your shit. This is when you will start to enjoy dating. You
will begin to appreciate and live in the moment with men. You will be able
to interact with men without anxiety, worry, and fear.

When you open yourself up to self inventory and self-awareness you will
begin to understand what type of man you want and therefore you will be
able to recognize what type of man you do not want when they show up.
That is one of the ways that you will be able to avoid getting strong along
and getting played.

When you stop playing and realize that no one is doing anything to you and
that you are doing everything to yourself who will be truly ready to attract
the most amazing man you have ever met. You will be able to tune into your
feminine energy around men and draw them to you.

No man can play you unless you offer yourself up on a platter to be played.

Do not try to control the situation or an outcome with a man. Do not try to
fix it.

Do not try to close the gap between you guys. Whatever and man is giving
you either accept it or reject it. When you feel like you are not a priority to a
man fall all the way back. Be hard to keep and easy to lose. If you have this
mentality and you take accountability you will never, ever be hurt. You can
never be played if you pay attention to the actions of men. Men lie with their
words but their actions are always 62

truthful.

Having a roster will cause you to take self inventory. It will cause you to
look within and see how your energy the vibe that you are giving out is
affecting your interactions with men. It will give you the opportunity to
practice your femininity and grow your self-worth. You will be able to get to
this place where you will have gained back your power. When you have
taken back your full power that is when no man can hurt you, no man can
play you, and no man can string you along. You are unattached to the
outcome and follow your heart at every moment. This is the power of
femininity coupled with owning your shit.

63

Wifed Up Assessment

1. Do you blame men when things go wrong?

2. Are you ready to take accountability for your love life?

3. What excuses have kept you in victim mode?

4. How have you been the source of your own pain in relationships?

64

DAY

19

VISION OR PERIS H

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” - Proverbs 29:19 (the Bible) I
n order to get where you are to where you want to be you must create a
vision.

A vision gets to the heart of why you want what you want. This book is
helping you to become a more magnetic feminine woman who attracts high
quality masculine men.

Today's challenge is designed to bring the ideal masculine man that you
desire to you.
With a vision you are able to create momentum that will help you get to
where your ultimate destination is: getting #wifed up!

In this way you can go in the direction of your goal. You can get a man who
is devoted to you if you believe you can.

If you do not have a vision, it will be hard for you to have boundaries and
standards. People perish without vision because they are not able to
distinguish the dangers that will keep them away from their goals.

So today you are going to do two exercises.

Create a love vision statement.

Create a love vision board.

In order to make sure you can identify the right man when he shows up must
make a vision statement and vision board that will focus on your ideal man
and marriage.

What is a love vision statement?

What traits are you looking for in your future marriage?

Why do you want this marriage?

How do you want to feel in this marriage?

Here is an example:

“I want to have a marriage of love, security, and companionship. I want to

wake up each day and feel excited because I get to share my life with my
best friend.”

Let's get into the vision board. A vision board is a board that you fill with
images, words, affirmations, and phrases that represent goals that you want
to achieve. In this instance your goal is to manifest a marriage with a
masculine, high quality man. It is 65
important that you are specific when it comes to your vision statement and
vision board.

You can make your vision board on an actual board or piece of construction
paper, electronically on Pinterest, or a vision board app. Wherever you
decide to create your vision board is not important but what is important is
that your vision board always makes you feel good and represents what you
want.

Vision boards are effective because they work actively with your
subconscious and passively with your conscious mind to manifest what you
desire.

A love vision board is a visual representation of your love vision statement.

Here are the guidelines for creating your vision board, assuming you are
doing a traditional offline board (recommended):

Put a picture of yourself in the center of the board. This will help your
subconscious connect your desires with yourself.

Underneath your picture write a gratitude statement, such as, “I am so happy

and grateful now that…” Gratitude will always attract what you want.

Use your love vision statement to get into the feelings of your ideal
marriage.

Also think of the traits you want in your future husband and include them on
your board in the form of pictures and statements.

Choose pictures that represent marriage, love, togetherness, and coupled fun.
Be sure to include anything else that feels good to you.

Now, get comfortable position in a private area if you can and get ready to
design your love vision board. Now take these images that you have found
(online and offline) and place them wherever it feels good on your board. Do
not glue or tape them down just yet. Feel free to position and reposition them
until you have them exactly where you want them to be on the board. Now
go ahead and glue or tape them down. Feel free to write statements,
affirmations and any other written confirmation of your desires. If you want
put, your love vision statement on your board.

Woolah, you are done! Hang your board where you will see it everyday
especially when you go to sleep and when you wake up. When you look at
your vision board make sure to express gratitude and feel that you have
already received your perfect marriage!

Now continue to work on your feminine energy and believe that your
husband is on his way because he is!

66

Wifed Up Assessment

1. What is your love vision statement?

2. How did it feel creating your love vision statement and vision board?

3. Are you ready to manifest for ideal marriage?

4. You must have absolute faith that your future husband is on his way. I
want you to write the following statement: “I am so grateful for my loving
marriage with my ideal soulmate.”

5. Do you feel inspired to take any action? If so, what?

67

DAY

20

BLOCKEDTTT T

“You don’t ever have to feel guilty for removing toxic people from your life.”
-
Daniell Koepke

W hen you are dating the ‘block’ button is your best friend. Becoming a
more feminine woman is about holding true to your boundaries. You must
learn to trust your intuition. When something does not feel good to you,
express your feelings to your man. If you find yourself having to constantly
repeat yourself... It's time for him to go.

Men who are dismissive, should be dismissed.

If a man is disregarding your feelings in major ways to you than it is your

duty to respect your boundaries and standards and show him the block
option. Then add another man to the roster. Make sure you keep your roster
full of high quality men who show themselves to be husband material.

You have to make the decisions what is ok for you in every moment. You
have to get comfortable enough to listen to and feel your feelings and the
sensations that are coming from your body.

When you set your boundaries make sure that you do not compromise them
for anyone. You have to do what is right for yourself. When it comes to
finding the one you have to be selfish with your affections in order to
minimize heartbreak. For example, if a man on your roster disappears and
reappears once every two weeks. You need to ask yourself how does this
make me feel? Is this a pattern? Is this the type of behavior I want in my
future husband? If you have mostly answered negative to these questions
then it is time to block him and move on. Be on the lookout for another great
high-quality man to add to your roster. you do not have time to teach men
how to treat you when a man shows you who he is believe him.

Now, I want to be clear I am not saying block a man because he took an

extra two hours to text you back on Thursday afternoon. I would say
understand that you are dating and that just as you have a roster a man is
possibly dating others as well. So be careful,don’t have expectations but
create boundaries and standards. Expectations are about are centered around
men. Boundaries and standards are centered around you.
However if you feel that something is a pattern and it's something that you
just cannot deal with on a regular basis, then feel free to block him. I cannot
tell you which 68

scenarios deserve the benefit of the doubt and which scenarios you should
just block.

Listen to your inner guidance, listen to your feelings, and listen to your
intuition they will tell you if something is not worth tolerating.

In order to not hesitate about blocking in man who was not able to give you
what you need you need to date in an unattached manner and with
boundaries. You have to make sure that you maintain a roster and you
maintain a busy life so that you do not give any one man too much of your
heart. You must remain unattached to the outcome and unattached to any
man who hasn't given you the commitment that you desire. You also must
set on your own individual boundaries that honor your femininity and self
worth. For example, you will not accept any last-minute dates, you want at
least a 3

day notice,so that you can plan your week accordingly. So that is your
boundary. With this boundary in place you will be able to gage when a man
is not showing up for you in the way that you would like. If he invites you
on a Friday night date on Thursday morning based on your boundary you
have set in place you will turn that date down. If he continues to invite you
on these dates last minute after you have expressed your boundaries to him
he needs to be blocked. Remember a man who is dismissive to you needs to
be dismissed.

You do not need to feel guilty or like you're being too harsh men always put
themselves first and they are not afraid to ghost and disappear on women
who are not meeting their needs. I am not here to tell you to be like a man
but what I am telling you is to not feel bad because a man will move you out
of his life if you aren't meeting his needs without a second thought. So you
must be okay with putting your needs and your wants first . Do not worry
about hurting someone's feelings or being rude.
However, give people the same respect your would like. Respectfully state
your feelings on the situation at hand and allow him an opportunity to
correct the situation.

If you find yourself having to continually speak on the same situation than
you know it's time to remove him from the roster.

Keep your eyes on the prize. Do not be swayed by words that do not match
actions. And do not be afraid to let someone go. when you let go what is not
serving you, you are able to receive what will serve you.

69

Wifed Up Assessment

1. Are you hesitant to block men? Why?

2. What are some situations you feel warrant a man getting blocked?

3. What are some situations you feel that do not warn a man getting
blocked?

4. How will you know when it's time to block?

5. How chances are you willing to give a men's before you block?

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DAY

21

NEEDY AIN’T CUT E

“When a person goes into a relationship emotionally needy, they are not
going to have discernment in choosing people.” -Jennifer O’Neill W hen
you are not happy with who you are it is easy to become dependent upon a
man for your happiness. You must develop inner happiness first before you
can develop outer happiness. If you do not develop your own happiness you
will easily become too attached to men. You will look to the men in your life
to fulfill the void that is missing. That void is self-love. Without self-love
you cannot live a fulfilling, happy, and joyous life.

This is where neediness comes into play. A needy woman is a woman that's
grasping for love outside of herself that she hasn't developed within herself.
When you become needy you put too much emotional pressure on men and
this causes them to want to back away from you. After all how would you
feel if someone else's entire source of happiness was you? It is not a good
feeling.

Men are attracted to women who are happy, not women who are desperately
seeking for someone to fill a void in their life. Here are some ways you can
regain your inner happiness:

Develop self-love and self-confidence. Begin to do things that make you feel
vibrant: healthy diet, exercise, walks in nature, and whatever else makes you
feel good. Begin to appreciate who you are as a person and all that you have
to offer this world. Love yourself for who you are flaws and all, but always
be open to improvement.

Develop boundaries and standards. Boundaries that you do not have will
always be crossed. Learn to trust your intuition. Boundaries are established
from your intuition. Standards are established based on your personal values.
Once you have established boundaries and standards you will become a
more confident and attractive woman.

Find your passion. A passionate woman has a full life. It is fun and
motivating.

When you have found your passion you exude inner joy. When you are full
of genuine joy you are not in a place of neediness. You are in a profound
state of self-love. As you enjoy life, you will see that you already have
everything you need in order to be happy. This will cause you not to be
needy.
71

Work on your femininity. You become needy when you feel that your needs
are not getting met. Will you grow into a more feminine woman you will
learn to trust your feelings. When you trust your feelings you will remove
yourself from any situation that is not meeting your needs.

Being needy is a major turnoff to men. Being needy lets a man know that he
is the most important thing in your life. It lets him know that you do not
have any options. It also feels like you are trying to pressure him into
something that he isn't ready for. The attraction he has for you will start to
dwindle. He will start to pull away and if you do not become self-aware you
can find yourself being even more needy. Then the cycle will begin: his
pulling away will cause your neediness, then your neediness will cause him
to pull away until he pulls all the way away from you and leaves. Learn to
cultivate your own life and passions so that you are fulfilled from the inside
out.

Another way to avoid neediness is to stay realistic surounding your

interactions with him. You stay realistic by mirroring him. When you are
dating, mirroring looks like maintaining the same level of investment as him.
If he only sees you once a week it means that he probably isn't ready to be an
exclusive situation. If he has not introduced you to anyone you should not be
thinking about introducing him to anyone.

If he has not initiated conversations about a future you stay in the present.
You do not get ahead of him.

The best way to mirror him is to always assume that he has a roster and since
he has a roster you definitely should have a roster. Rosters will keep you
grounded.

Staying grounded means that you keep your energy around yourself. You do
not let your emotions get to the point where you feel out of control. You do
not blame or make anyone else responsible for your emotions. Keeping
control of your emotions is how you avoid needy behavior.
The best thing for you to do is to care less so that he will care more. Own
your inner goddess, and realize that you are your own source of love and
fulfillment and then get out there and live happily ever after with yourself.

72

Wifed Up Assessment

1. What is needy behavior look like to you?

2. What are some passions/hobbies that you have?

3. When you are feeling needy what is something you can go and do
instead?

4. In your own words, explain why needy behavior is a turnoff to men?

5. How will mirroring him keep you from neediness?

73

Bonus: Conversation Scripts

74

Yay! You finished the challenge! I am so proud of you! I truly hope you
gained a lot from this 21 day challenge. I hope you feel like a feminine
magnet who is on her way to getting #wifedup! Feel free to come back and
repeat the challenge as often as you need. You can also pick certain days that
you felt you struggled with more or missed.

Becoming a magnetically feminine woman will take a lot of practice. It will

not be something you comprehend fully in under a month. It is something
you will have to practice, practice, practice. You have to move, breathe and
eat femininity. It takes work. It takes dedication. But it is the most fulfilling
journey. Everything about your love life will change. Here is to your journey
to getting #wifedup the feminine way.

I believe in you!

Angela S. Holcomb

Wifed Up Coach

Wifedupcoach.com

75

Where to Find Me

If you want to work with me on a one-on-one basis, you can find more
information at wifedupcoach.com/how-it-works.

Have a testimonial you want to share? Email: [email protected] .

Have questions? Concerns? Just need support? Join the Facebook group.
That is where I spend most of my time interacting with all my lovely ladies.
I look forward to seeing you in there.

You can join the exclusive group here:

facebook.com/groups/wifedupmovement/.

You can also search the group section on Facebook and enter ‘Wifed Up
Movement’.
Another way to join is to head to wifedupcoach.com and click on the “Join
My Exclusive Facebook Group” at the top of the homepage.

Also be sure to find me on social media @wifedupcoach.

76

Table of Contents

Introduction

DAY 1 Your Polar Opposite

10

DAY 2 Trust Your Heart

13

DAY 3 Feminine Mystique

16

DAY 4 F Your Past

19

DAY 5 Now Lean Back

22

DAY 6 Stop Doing the Most

25

DAY 7 Masculine Respect

28

DAY 8 Receive, Reciprocate, Repeat

31

DAY 9 Femininity is The Juice

34

DAY 10 He’s Already Been Raised

37

DAY 11 Your Ego Will Keep You Single

40

DAY 12 No Doormat Zone

43

DAY 13 Here’s How to Get Him to Do What You Want

46

DAY 14 You Are Worthy

49

DAY 15 Vulnerability is the Secret Sauce

52

DAY 16 Build A Roster

55

DAY 17 Affirming Your Femininity

58

DAY 18 Owning Your Shit

61

DAY 19 Vision or Perish

65

DAY 20 Blockedtttt

68

DAY 21 Needy Ain’t Cute

71

77
Document Outline

Introduction
DAY 1 Your Polar Opposite
DAY 2 Trust Your Heart
DAY 3 Feminine Mystique
DAY 4 F Your Past
DAY 5 Now Lean Back
DAY 6 Stop Doing the Most
DAY 7 Masculine Respect
DAY 8 Receive, Reciprocate, Repeat
DAY 9 Femininity is The Juice
DAY 10 He’s Already Been Raised
DAY 11 Your Ego Will Keep You Single
DAY 12 No Doormat Zone
DAY 13 Here’s How to Get Him to Do What You Want
DAY 14 You Are Worthy
DAY 15 Vulnerability is the Secret Sauce
DAY 16 Build A Roster
DAY 17 Affirming Your Femininity
DAY 18 Owning Your Shit
DAY 19 Vision or Perish
DAY 20 Blockedtttt
DAY 21 Needy Ain’t Cute
 Table of Contents
Introduction
DAY 1 Your Polar Opposite
DAY 2 Trust Your Heart
DAY 3 Feminine Mystique
DAY 4 F Your Past
DAY 5 Now Lean Back
DAY 6 Stop Doing the Most
DAY 7 Masculine Respect
DAY 8 Receive, Reciprocate, Repeat
DAY 9 Femininity is The Juice
DAY 10 He’s Already Been Raised
DAY 11 Your Ego Will Keep You Single
DAY 12 No Doormat Zone
DAY 13 Here’s How to Get Him to Do What You Want
DAY 14 You Are Worthy
DAY 15 Vulnerability is the Secret Sauce
DAY 16 Build A Roster
DAY 17 Affirming Your Femininity
DAY 18 Owning Your Shit
DAY 19 Vision or Perish
DAY 20 Blockedtttt
DAY 21 Needy Ain’t Cute