Chapter One

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 3. Motivation. Motivating yourself for any

What Is Emotional Intelligence? achievement requires clear goals and a positive
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to attitude. Although you may have a predisposition to
identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well either a positive or a negative attitude, you can learn
as the emotions of others. to think more positively with effort and practice. If you
Emotional intelligence is generally said to include catch negative thoughts as they occur, you can
at least three skills: reframe them in more positive terms — which will
a. emotional awareness, or the ability to identify help you achieve your goals.
and name one’s own emotions.
b. the ability to harness those emotions and Motivation is made up of:​
apply them to tasks like thinking and problem a. Achievement drive. Your constant striving to​
solving; and improve or meet a standard of excellence.​
c. the ability to manage emotions, which b. Commitment. Aligning with the goals of the
includes both regulating one’s own emotions when group or​organization.​
necessary and helping others to do the same. c. Initiative. Readying yourself to act on
opportunities.​
What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally d. Optimism. Pursuing goals persistently despite​
Intelligent? obstacles and setbacks.
An emotionally intelligent individual is both highly 4. Empathy. The ability to recognize how people feel
conscious of his or her own emotional states, is important to success in your life and career. The
even negativity—frustration, sadness, or more skillful you are at discerning the feelings behind
something more subtle—and able to identify and others’ signals the better you can control the signals
manage them. you send them. An empathetic person excels at:​
a. Service orientation. Anticipating, recognizing,
Five Categories of Emotional Intelligence and meeting clients’ needs.​
(EQ) b. Developing others. Sensing what others need
1. Self-awareness. The ability to recognize an to progress and bolstering their abilities.​
emotion as it “happens” is the key to your EQ. c. Leveraging diversity. Cultivating opportunities
Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to through diverse people.​
your true feelings. If you evaluate your emotions, d. Political awareness. Reading a group’s
you can manage them. The major elements of self- emotional currents and power relationships.​
awareness are: e. Understanding others. Discerning the feelings
a. Emotional awareness. Your ability to behind the needs and wants of others.
recognize your own emotions and their effects. 5. Social skills. The development of good
b. Self-confidence. Sureness about your self- interpersonal skills is tantamount to success in your
worth and capabilities. life and career. In today’s always-connected world,
2. Self-regulation. You often have little control everyone has immediate access to technical
over when you experience emotions. You can, knowledge. Thus, “people skills” are even more
however, have some say in how long an emotion important now because you must possess a high EQ
will last by using a number of techniques to to better understand, empathize and negotiate with
alleviate negative emotions such as anger, anxiety others in a global economy. Among the most useful
or depression. A few of these techniques include skills are:
recasting a situation in a more positive light, taking
a long walk, and meditation or prayer. Self- STRESS
regulation involves Stress is a feeling of emotional or physical tension. It
a. Self-control. Managing disruptive impulses. can come from any event or thought that makes you
b. Trustworthiness. Maintaining standards of feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. ​
honesty and integrity. Stress is your body's reaction to a challenge or
c. Conscientiousness. Taking responsibility for demand. In short bursts, stress can be positive, such
your own performance.​ as when it helps you avoid danger or meet a
d. Adaptability. Handling change with flexibility.​ deadline.​
e. Innovation. Being open to new ideas. Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind
of demand or threat. When you sense danger—
whether it’s real or imagined—the body’s defenses
kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process
known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction or the
“stress response.”
 c. Person Perception. ​
Refers to forming impressions and making
judgments about another person’s likability
Social identity is a person’s sense of who after seeing or meeting him/her. ​
they are based on their group The assessment involves as well what kind
membership(s).​ of person one is, including his / her
Tajfel (1979) proposed that the groups (e.g. intentions, traits, and behaviors (Plotnick &
social class, family, football team etc.) which Kouyoumdjian, 2014). ​
people belonged to were an important First impressions, which are formed within
source of pride and self-esteem. ​ a very short time with little conscious
Groups give us a sense of social identity: a thought and biased by past experiences,
sense of belonging to the social world.​ are part of person perception (Macrae and
We divided the world into “them” and “us” Quadflieg, 2010).​
based through a process of social d. Norms​
categorization (i.e. we put people into social Are patterns or traits characterized as
groups).​ typical or usual for a group. ​
5. Weiner (1986) : Attribution Theory​ Other terms associated with norms are
Attribution theory is concerned with how “average” and “normal”. ​
ordinary people explain the causes of Norms in social behavior serve to guide or
behavior and events. ​ regulate the manner in which people
For example, is someone angry because conduct themselves. ​
they are bad-tempered or because Behaviors have to be controlled or
something bad happened?​ regulated because of social consequences.​
“Attribution theory deals with how the social It is one’s responsibility to make sure that
perceiver uses information to arrive at his/her behavior does not hurt, offend, or
causal explanations for events. ​ disturb other people​
It examines what information is gathered and e. Social Facilitation​
how it is combined to form a causal Social facilitation refers to the finding that
judgment”.​ people sometimes show an increased level
Concepts in Social Psychology​ of effort as a result of the real, imagined, or
a. Interactions.​ implied presence of others, or defined as
It refers to the mutual and reciprocal improvement in individual performance
exchange of communication or action when working with other people rather than
between two or more persons or groups. ​ alone.​
b. Relationships.​ f. Social Loafing. ​
It refers to a particular way in which two or Social loafing is a phenomenon in which
more individuals, groups, or even countries people put in less effort on a task when
talk to, behave toward, or deal with each they are working in a group, compared to
other. ​ when they are working alone.​
There is an established connection, g. Conformity​
kinship, or attachment between persons or Refers to yielding to group pressure to
groups attributable to several factors , like act as everyone does, even when no
interests, philosophy of life, goals, or ways of direct request has been made.​
thinking, that bind them together. ​ It is the tendency to behave like others in
the group do.​​
 Three Components of Love​
In Dr. Sternberg's theory, the concept of love is
a triangle that is made up of three components:​
3. Consummate Love. ​
Intimacy, which involves feelings of closeness,
This is the strongest and fullest type of
connectedness, and bondedness​
love (Sternberg,1985). ​
Passion, which involves feelings and desires
An ideal form of love where passion,
that lead to physical attraction, romance, and
intimacy and commitment are involve. ​
sexual consummation​
Other Types of Love ​
Decision/commitment, which involves feelings
1. Friendship​
that lead a person to remain with someone and
This type of love is when the intimacy or liking
move toward shared goals.​
component is present, but feelings of passion
or commitment in the romantic sense are
missing. Friendship love can be the root of
other forms of love.​
2. Infatuation​
Infatuation is characterized by feelings of lust
and physical passion without liking and
commitment. There has not been enough time
for a deeper sense of intimacy, romantic love,
or consummate love to develop. These may
eventually arise after the infatuation phase. The
initial infatuation is often very powerful. ​
Interpretations of the illustration:​
3. Empty Love
Empty love is characterized by commitment 1. If passion is the only ingredient present, the
without passion or intimacy. ​ feeling is infatuation, as in a fling or an affair.​
4. Fatuous Love​ 2. Intimacy and commitment without passion
​ In this type of love, commitment and show affectionate love.​
passion are present while intimacy or liking 3. The combination of passion and commitment
is absent. ​ without intimacy results in fatuous love.​
Fatuous love is typified by a whirlwind 4. Consummate love is achieved if all three
courtship in which passion motivates a components are present.​
commitment without the stabilizing influence of Every individual has the ability and
intimacy. ​ capability to give love. ​
The Triangular Theory of Love​ Social relationships will not be good without
In the late 1980s psychologist Robert love. ​
Sternberg developed the triangular Without love, people may become sad and
theory of love. ​ lonely.​
This theory suggests that people can have Love gives hope and light to people. ​
varying degrees of intimacy, passion, and There are various ways of showing love to
commitment at any one moment in time.​ ourselves and to others.​
People who graciously and freely share
and give love, are being loved in return, are
happy people.​
 ​
​
5. Biological v. Social Influences on
Personality​
Dimensions for a Concept of Humanity​
Nature / Nurture: ​
1. Determinism v. Free ​ Choice ​
Are we influenced more by heredity (nature) or
Do we consciously direct our actions, or by our environment (nurture)?​
are they governed by other forces?​ 6. Uniqueness v. Similarities​
Some personality theorists take extreme Is the personality of each human being
positions on this issue. ​ unique, or are there broad personality patterns
Others express more moderate views, that fit large numbers of persons?​
arguing that some behaviors are
determined by past events and some
can be spontaneous and under our
control.​
2. Pessimism v. Optimism​ ​
Optimism / Pessimism: Are we basically
good or evil?​
Some theorists’ views of human
personality are positive and hopeful,
depicting us as humanitarian, altruistic,
and socially conscious. ​
Past / Present​
Is our personality fixed by early events in
our lives, or can be it be affected by
experiences in adulthood?​
Historical determinism : The view that
personality is basically fixed in the early
years of life and subject to little change
thereafter.​
4. Conscious v. Unconscious
Determinants of Behavior​
​Equilibrium / Growth​
Are we motivated simply to maintain a
physiological balance or state of
equilibrium, or does the urge to grow
and develop shape our behavior?​
Some theorists believe that people are
tension-reducing, pleasure seeking
animals. ​
Others consider us to be motivated
primarily by the need to grow, to realize
our full potential, and to reach for ever-
higher levels of self-actualization and
development.​