THE IMPACT OF PARENTAL DEPRIVATION

WORKING PAPER
ON THE DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN
LEFT BEHIND BY MOLDOVAN MIGRANTS

DIVISION OF
POLICY AND PRACTICE
OCTOBER 2008
DIVISION OF WORKING PAPER
POLICY AND
PRACTICE

THE IMPACT OF PARENTAL

DEPRIVATION ON THE DEVELOPMENT
OF CHILDREN LEFT BEHIND BY
MOLDOVAN MIGRANTS

UNICEF Moldova Child Rights Information Center (CRIC),

Moldova

OCTOBER 2008
The Impact of Parental Deprivation on the Development of Children Left Behind by
Moldovan Migrants
© United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF), Policy, Advocacy and Knowledge
Management (PAKM), Division of Policy and Practice, New York, 2008

Policy, Advocacy and Knowledge Management (PAKM), Division of Policy and Practice
UNICEF
3 UN Plaza, NY, NY 10017
October 2008
This is a working document. It has been prepared to facilitate the exchange of knowledge and to
stimulate discussion.

The findings, interpretations and conclusions expressed in this paper are those of the author(s)
and do not necessarily reflect the policies or views of UNICEF

The text has not been edited to official publication standards and UNICEF accepts no
responsibility for errors.

The designations in this publication do not imply an opinion on legal status of any country or
territory, or of its authorities, or the delimitation of frontiers.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This report would not have been possible without the support of UNDP Special Unit for South-
South Cooperation (SU/SSC). We would like to thank the UNICEF Moldova Country Office,
especially Ray Torres (UNICEF, Representative, Moldova), Mohammed Azzedine Salah
(UNICEF, Deputy Representative, Senegal, and former Programme Officer, Moldova), Elena
Laur (UNICEF, Monitoring and Evaluation Officer, Moldova), and Cezar Gavriliuc (President,
CRIC Moldova) for their kind assistance and efforts on behalf of this working paper.
Table of Contents

Page

Executive Summary ......................................................................................................................... i

Resumen Ejecutivo ......................................................................................................................... ii
Résumé Analytique........................................................................................................................ iii
1. Moldova and its Social and Economic Transition .................................................................. 1
2. Migration, Remittances and Children Left Behind................................................................. 1
3. The Qualitative Survey on the Situation of Children Left Without Parental Care ................. 2
4. Methodology ........................................................................................................................... 3
4.1. Goals and Objectives ...................................................................................................... 3
4.2. The Research Process ..................................................................................................... 3
4.3. Participants...................................................................................................................... 4
4.4. Methods and Techniques ................................................................................................ 7
4.5. The Structure of the Data Collection Workshop for Children........................................ 8
4.6. Questionnaire .................................................................................................................. 9
4.7. Focus-group discussions ............................................................................................... 10
4.8. In-depth Interviews ....................................................................................................... 10
4.9. Data processing and analysis ........................................................................................ 10
4.10. Consulting workshop ................................................................................................ 11
4.11. Consideration of Ethical Principles .......................................................................... 12
5. Results................................................................................................................................... 13
5.1. Children's perceptions regarding social problems that can affect them........................ 14
5.2. Adults' perceptions of the risks faced by migrants' children ........................................ 15
5.3. Living conditions of migrants' children ........................................................................ 17
5.4. Psycho-emotional development .................................................................................... 20
5.5. The Evolution of Relationships .................................................................................... 30
5.6. The effects of parents’ migration on their children’s education ................................... 49
5.7. Children’s resources...................................................................................................... 55
5.8. Children’s participation ................................................................................................ 63
5.9. Aspirations for the future .............................................................................................. 71
5.10. Policies and services for children left without parental care .................................... 78
5.11. Services that are needed at the community level ...................................................... 90
Conclusions................................................................................................................................... 91
Psycho-emotional development ................................................................................................ 91
How children’s relationships evolve......................................................................................... 91
School ....................................................................................................................................... 92
Children’s resources.................................................................................................................. 93
Children’s participation ............................................................................................................ 93
How the children of migrants see their future .......................................................................... 94
Policies and services for children left without parental care .................................................... 94
Recommendations......................................................................................................................... 94
Executive Summary
Vulnerable children – especially those deprived of parental care – constitute a specific risk
group. Yet until recently, the magnitude of this issue was underestimated in Moldova. Official
authorities were more concerned with traditional protection issues and caregivers and parents
tended to be complacent, believing that remittance flows automatically lead to improvements in
family wellbeing.

A number of recent events have shown that the situation is not as positive as it is understood to
be. These events also highlighted the delay in anticipating the problem of parental deprivation
due to weaknesses in existing monitoring mechanisms that trace the impact of this issue. This has
demonstrated that the systems established to monitor the progress of the country’s Poverty
Reduction Strategy were not tailored to provide information about non-economic deprivations.
As a result, these weaknesses are reflected in gaps in social policy and a lack of services.

This survey seeks to assess to what extent children and their caregivers understand the
significance of parental deprivation and to what extent they share an awareness of the levels of
deprivation children face. The survey also seeks to clarify to what extent these children have a
place in their communities and participate in decision-making.

The survey found that children left behind by migrants parents lack emotional support and have
difficulty overcoming parental separation, both socially and as individuals. These children tend
to cut off relationships with their peers, and instead maintain preferential relationships with other
children left without parental care. On the other hand, in the areas of health, nutrition and
education, there is no clear evidence that parental deprivation contributes to a worsening of these
children’s status.

The survey showed that there are significant gaps between adults’ views on these issues and
children’s expectations. This has a direct impact on the availability of social services, except for
children considered to be in a highly vulnerable social situation.

The results of this qualitative study confirm that there is an urgent need for local stakeholders to
develop their capacity to address more comprehensively the non-economic needs of children
who are deprived of parental care. The results also helped to highlight the urgent need to refine
the overall system of monitoring the impacts of parental deprivation on children.

i
Resumen Ejecutivo
Los niños vulnerables –especialmente los que carecen del cuidado de sus progenitores–
constituyen un grupo de riesgo específico. Sin embargo, en Moldova, hasta hace muy poco, se ha
subestimado la magnitud de esta cuestión. Las autoridades oficiales estaban más preocupadas por
las cuestiones tradicionales de protección y los cuidadores y los progenitores se han mostrado en
general complacientes, en la creencia de que los flujos de remesas conducen automáticamente a
una mejora en el bienestar de la familia.

Una serie de acontecimientos recientes ha revelado que la situación no es tan positiva como se
considera. Estos acontecimientos han subrayado también el retraso en la anticipación del
problema que supone la privación de los progenitores, debido a las debilidades en los
mecanismos de supervisión existentes que registran las repercusiones de esta cuestión. Está
demostrado que los sistemas establecidos para supervisar el progreso de la Estrategia para la
Reducción de la Pobreza del país no estaban adaptados para proporcionar información sobre las
privaciones no económicas. Como resultado, estas debilidades se reflejan en una serie de lagunas
en la política social y una escasez de servicios.

Este estudio trata de valorar hasta qué punto los niños y sus cuidadores comprenden la
importancia de la privación de los progenitores y hasta qué punto comparten una concienciación
sobre los niveles de privación a los que hacen frente los niños. El estudio también trata de
clarificar hasta qué punto estos niños tienen un sitio en sus comunidades y participan en la toma
de decisiones.

El estudio descubrió que los hijos de progenitores migrantes que permanecen en sus países de
origen carecen de apoyo emocional y tienen dificultades para superar la separación de sus
progenitores, socialmente y como individuos. Estos niños suelen cortar las relaciones con sus
pares y en lugar de ello mantienen relaciones preferentes con otros niños que tampoco reciben
cuidado de sus progenitores. Por otra parte, en las esferas de la salud, la nutrición y la educación,
no hay pruebas claras que indiquen que la privación de los progenitores contribuya a un
empeoramiento de la situación de estos niños.

El estudio reveló que hay diferencias significativas entre los puntos de vista de los adultos sobre
estas cuestiones y las expectativas de los niños. Esto tiene una repercusión directa sobre la
disponibilidad de servicios sociales, excepto para los niños que se considera que se encuentran
en una situación social altamente vulnerable.

Los resultados de este estudio cualitativo confirman que existe la necesidad urgente de que las
partes interesadas locales desarrollen su capacidad para abordar más ampliamente las
necesidades no económicas de los niños que carecen del cuidado de los progenitores. Los
resultados contribuyen también a subrayar la necesidad urgente que hay de refinar el sistema
general de seguimiento de las repercusiones de la privación de los progenitores sobre los niños.

ii
Résumé Analytique
Les enfants vulnérables, surtout ceux qui sont privés de soins familiaux, constituent un groupe
spécifique d’enfants à risque. Pourtant, jusqu’à une période récente, l’ampleur de cette question
était sous-estimée en République de Moldova. Les autorités officielles étaient plus préoccupées
par les questions de protection traditionnelles, et les dispensateurs de soins et les parents
tendaient à être complaisants, croyant que les envois de fonds conduisaient automatiquement à
des améliorations du bien-être familial.

Un certain nombre d’événements récents ont montré que la situation n’était pas aussi positive
qu’on ne le pensait. Ces événements ont aussi souligné le retard pris dans l’anticipation du
problème de la privation des parents, en raison de faiblesses des mécanismes de suivi qui
permettraient d’évaluer les répercussions de cette question. Cela a montré que les systèmes mis
en place pour suivre les progrès de la stratégie nationale de réduction de la pauvreté n’étaient pas
conçus pour donner des informations sur les privations d’ordre non économique. Ces faiblesses
se reflètent donc ans les lacunes de la politique sociale et la pénurie de services.

Cette enquête cherche à évaluer dans quelle mesure les enfants et ceux qui s’occupent d’eux
comprennent la signification de la privation des parents, et à quel point ils ont tous conscience
des niveaux de privation auxquels les enfants sont confrontés. L’enquête cherche aussi à clarifier
dans quelle mesure ces enfants ont une place dans leur communauté et participent à la prise de
décisions.

L’enquête a montré que les enfants laissés au pays par des parents migrants manquaient de
soutien affectif et éprouvaient des difficultés à surmonter la séparation avec les parents, à la fois
socialement et individuellement. Ces enfants ont tendance à rompre les relations qu’ils ont avec
leurs pairs, pour entretenir plutôt des relations privilégiées avec d’autres enfants également
privés de leurs parents. En revanche, dans les secteurs de la santé, de la nutrition et de
l’éducation, rien ne prouve clairement que l’absence des parents contribue à une dégradation de
la situation de ces enfants.

L’étude a montré qu’il y avait des différences significatives entre la position des adultes sur cette
question et les attentes des enfants. Cela a un impact direct sur la disponibilité de services
sociaux, sauf pour les enfants dont la situation sociale est considérée extrêmement vulnérable.

Les résultats de cette étude qualitative confirment qu’il est urgent que les intervenants locaux
renforcent cette capacité, de manière à confronter de façon plus exhaustive les besoins non
économiques des enfants privés de soins parentaux. Les résultats ont aussi aidé à souligner à quel
point il est urgent d’affiner le système général de suivi des conséquences de l’absence des
parents sur les enfants.

iii
1. Moldova and its Social and Economic Transition
Since 2000, Moldova’s strong growth performance has reversed a decade of economic decline
and rising poverty. Between 2000 and 2005, real GDP increased by more than 30 percent and the
poverty rate was cut by more than half as a result of the export of labour and the inflow of
workers’ remittances. Today, 25 percent of Moldova’s economically active population is
working abroad. Workers’ remittances, equivalent to 27 percent of GDP, have raised disposable
income and fueled rapid growth in consumption expenditures. 1

Yet although Moldova has enjoyed political stability, accelerated economic growth, increased
government services, and improvements in social rights, 26.5 percent of Moldovans still live in
poverty. Despite significant improvements in economic and social areas, Moldova today is
considered to be lagging behind its neighbours in terms of wellbeing, equality and social
inclusion.

2. Migration, Remittances and Children Left Behind

Over the past few years the phenomenon of migration has emerged as a sensitive policy issue
and its negative impact is becoming more and more evident. Although it is one of the most
readily available strategies for escaping or avoiding poverty, for many Moldovans migration also
has negative consequences in the economic and social spheres. 2 As a result of a rapid, two-
decade de-industrialization and the erosion of production and purchasing power in rural areas,
migration outflows increased in the aftermath of the 1998 regional financial crisis. Some 371,000
Moldovans, or 25 percent of the economically active population, were estimated to be working
abroad at the end of 2004.

Migration is considered an important coping mechanism for the poor. For the population as a
whole, the effects of labour migration are mostly negative, and there is a strong relationship
between the income and non-income dimensions of inequality. Non-income inequality includes
inequality in skills, education, opportunities, happiness and health. Children are especially
vulnerable to these non-income inequalities. According to the Economic Growth and Poverty
Reduction Strategy paper (EGPRSP), the poverty incidence for all age groups of children is
higher on average than it is among adult residents of the Republic. The poverty level among
children in 2002 reached 45.2 percent. The more children there are in a family, the higher the
risk of its being included in the category of the poor. Poverty is especially widespread among
children in rural areas (50 percent) due to the large family size and relatively low incomes of
rural households.

At present, very little information exists on the impact of migration on children. The first study
of the magnitude of the problem, commissioned by UNICEF in 2005, highlighted two negative
impacts of migration in Moldova. The first is the impact on Moldovan demographic trends and
1
Moldova: Opportunities for Accelerated Growth, World Bank, September 2005.
2
The Situation of the Children Remaining behind Moldovan Migrants, UNICEF and Valeriu Prohnitchi, 2005.

1
their links with the long-term Poverty Reduction Strategy. While reducing poverty in the short
term, migration may exacerbate the problem of underdevelopment in the long term. The second
and more immediate impact relates to the high, and increasing, number of children left behind.
The study estimates that between 150,000 and 270,000 children aged 0 to 14 have been left
behind by one migrating parent and that 40,000 have been left behind by both parents. These
estimates were confirmed by the national Demographic Health Survey carried out in 2005, which
indicated that 31 percent of all children aged 0 to 14 were left without one or both parents,
compared to 16 percent in 2000. 3 The study offers the hypothesis that most of these children live
better than their peers, who face particularly high risks of being poor. However, the study shows
that the children of migrants are more likely to be marginalized, mistreated and abused and to
become victims of human trafficking.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that many children from the poorest stratum of the population do
not attend school, are hired to work in animal care and sheep pasturing and are sometimes
encouraged to drop out of school altogether. However, there are few assessments providing
relevant information on who the most vulnerable children are, on their living conditions and on
the kinds of deprivation they face.

This situation is well known and it was recommended that within the framework of the Poverty
Reduction Strategy, Moldova’s authorities should strengthen poverty analysis by selecting more
appropriate methodologies for measuring poverty and by improving sensitive analyses. However,
the country still lacks a sensitivite analysis of the relative risks of poverty for children.

3. The Qualitative Survey on the Situation of Children Left Without

Parental Care
The most common indicator for measuring welfare, the Human Development Index, (HDI) is a
combination of education, health status and data on economic growth. This indicator, however,
does not provide a complete understanding of the issue of deprivation faced by children, much
less by children left behind by migrant parents. For example, it does not provide information on
the basic services used by the children of migrants, on their levels of access to these services, on
how responsive the services are or on how these children enter the domestic labour market and
on the ways in which they differ from other new entrants.

In order to complete the first assessment, UNICEF commissioned additional work, including a
qualitative survey aimed at responding to questions such as: What kinds of deprivation do the
children left behind face and how do they, their peers and the communities they live in perceive
these deprivations? A special focus was placed on emotional status, education, health,
nutrition and access to social services. This study represents the second component of a
broader assessment of this category of children.

3
Demographic and Health Survey, Ministry of Health and Social protection, 2005.

2
4. Methodology
4.1. Goals and Objectives
The purpose of this study is to investigate the situation of children with one or both parents
working abroad. The research looked at the migration phenomenon mainly from a qualitative
perspective, highlighting the impact of children’s separation from their parents on their social
and emotional development. By virtue of the qualitative nature of the study, its outcomes are not
necessarily representative of all the children in the Republic of Moldova who have one or both
parents working abroad.

The target group of the investigation consisted of 75 children from three rural Moldovan
communities living without the care of one or both parents for at least two years as a result of
their departure abroad.

The study had the following objectives:

x to identify the repercussions of separation from their parents on children’s social and
emotional development;
x to identify the concerns and worries of children living without one or both parents;
x to identify children’s competencies and skills in handling the situation of living without
one or both parents;
x to analyse children’s views of their future;
x to determine the level of fulfilment of these children’s rights and their participation in
community affairs;
x to analyse existing policies and services provided for children without parental care;
to formulate a set of recommendations for the improvement of the conditions of children with at
least one parent working abroad.

4.2. The Research Process

The research was carried out between September 2005 and April 2006. The table below presents
the main phases of the development of the research.
Table 1: Development of the Study, The Situation of Children Left without Parental Care
Stage Period
Nr.
1. Elaboration of the study's design and the necessary September -
mechanisms for data collection. December 2005
2. Consultation with an international expert in children's affairs October 2005
with regard to the study's design and the tools used for
collecting data.

3
 3. A study visit to Iargara township (Leova district) during which October 2005
the research team members, a UNICEF representative, and the
international consultant participated in discussions with
various community members about the problems to be tackled
in the study.
4. Piloting the instruments for data collection on children and November 2005
making adaptations as necessary. (Susleni village, Orhei
district).
5. Training the data collection team. November 2005
6. Administration of a questionnaire to school children between December 2005
the ages of 10 and 18 in the localities covered by the study.
7. Data collection from children and adults. December 2005 –
January 2006
8. Initial analysis of information collected from children and March 2006
adults.
9. Consultation with a group of children and teenagers on March 2006
findings resulting from a preliminary analysis of information
gathered from children.
10. The analysis of the study's results, formulation of conclusions March 2006
and recommendations.
11. Preparation of the study's report. March - April 2006
12. Consultation with an international expert and UNICEF on the April 2006
report.

4.3. Participants
When selecting the three communities to participate in the study, the following criteria were
used:

x Geographic location – localities from different zones of the Republic (North, South and
Centre).
x The existence of collaborative relationships between the organization that carried out the
study and a resource person from the selected communities (local administration
representatives, teachers) that would contribute to the following:
o getting in touch with all sources of information in the field;
o ensuring the commitment of community officials in order to conduct the data
collection;
o guaranteeing access to the groups of children necessary for the study.
x The existence of a lyceum or an elementary school in the locality, because children
between the ages of 10 and 18 constitute the study’s target group.

4
 x The number of children left without parental care in the community. Using data provided
by the resource persons, only localities with the largest numbers of such children were
selected.
Two hundred and thirty-one people participated in the study: 169 children and 62 adults.
Information was gathered from 159 children and teenagers, aged 10 to 18, among them 101 girls
and 58 boys. Ten children between the ages of 14 and 17 (seven girls and three boys) were
chosen to help analyse some of the data. These children are opinion leaders in their hometowns
and they have some experience of involvement in various community projects.

The choice to include children between 10 and 18 years in the study was dictated by the
experience of the organisation that carried out the research. In order to ensure the quality of data
collection and analysis, it was decided to limit the study to this age group because working with
younger children requires special abilities and methodologies.

The disproportionate number of girls participating in the study does not necessarily mean that
they are more affected by the phenomenon of adult migration. Children were involved in the
study on a voluntary basis, even if there was the risk that boys would be fewer in number. Girls
are more likely to participate in activities that require communication and the sharing of
experiences, according to the study Evaluation of Children Participation in the Republic of
Moldova, carried out by EYE Moldova, a non-governmental organization promoting the
participation of children in community projects. For these reasons, we should point out that this
report may not have identified all the specifics of boys’ experiences connected with adult
migration. Consequently, the ways in which boys deal with separation from their parents
represent a subject that requires more thorough investigation.

For a better understanding of these children’s conditions, the decision was made to include in the
study a comparison group, consisting of children from the same region and of similar ages, but
living with their parents.

The selection of groups of children participating in the study was carried out by the resource
persons from the selected communities, according to the following criteria:

x agreement to participate in the research, awareness of its broad purpose only, without
many details;
x the inclusion of children of both genders, when possible;
x the inclusion of children aged between 10 and 18;
x at least a duration of two years living without one or both parents as a result of their
departure abroad (only for children who constituted the study’s subject group).
The fact that the groups of children participating in the study were selected with the help of a
teacher or member of the school’s administration could have led to a biased selection of children.
The decision of the research team in this regard was dictated by limitations of time and by their
wish to avoid direct questions about family situations, which can arouse unpleasant feelings.
Taking into account the fact that teachers and school administrators are aware of such details of
pupils’ lives, we preferred to offer the adults the role of selecting children, accepting the risk that
they might be biased in their selections.

5
The phenomenon of adult migration and its consequences are difficult to follow. Children who
constituted the study’s subject group have diverse experiences in this field. Some of them have
only one parent living abroad while others have both parents abroad. Some of the children face
this circumstance for the first time while others are more used to living without at least one
parent’s care. We must also mention a difference in the intervals during which children are
separated from their parents, a difference mostly determined by the country to which the parents
have migrated. In order to ensure the children’s presence at data collection workshops as well as
their emotional security, it was decided not to take into account these varying aspects during the
process of selecting the participants. Therefore, the proportion of children participants in the
study with one or both parents working abroad is unknown.

Table 2: Number of Children Involved in the Study, by Age

Age Study's Subject Group Comparison group Total

10 years 2 4 6
11 years 5 7 12
12 years 10 11 21
13 years 18 13 31
14 years 5 23 28
15 years 9 13 22
16 years 16 8 24
17 years 8 4 12
18 years 2 1 3
Total 75 84 159

In order to obtain an ample overview of the situation of children who constitute the study’s
subject group and in order to guarantee verification of the collected data, several categories of
adults have been included in the study.

Table 3: Categories of Adults Participating in the Study

Nr. The source of data collection Number of
persons
1. Caregivers 7
2. Form teachers and teachers 29
3. Headmasters 3
4. Medical workers 3
5. Local NGO members 2
6. Inspectors of juvenile offenders 1
7. Local administration representatives (mayor, Town Hall secretary) 4
8. Representatives of the District Department of Education, Children and 6
Sports and representatives of the District Department of Social Assistance
and Family Protection
9. Central authority representatives (Ministry of Education, Children and 3
Sports;
Ministry of Health and Social Protection of the Family; Ministry of Internal

6
 Affairs)
10. Representatives of the National Council for the Protection of Child's Rights 1
11. International NGO representatives (International Organisation for Migration; 3
UNICEF Office in the Republic of Moldova)
Total 62

During the interview with the inspector for juvenile offenders from one locality, we found that
the information obtained was less relevant to this study because it refers to children who have
disobeyed the law, whereas children left without parental care do not belong to this category.

During the study, the Department for Migration was going through a process of reorganisation.
Because of the difficulty of accessing their information, we decided to exclude them from the
study.

Adults who experience separation from their children were not included in the study. Their
opinions would in fact be very valuable for the investigation of this phenomenon, but because of
the lack of time and access to these persons we did not interview parents.

4.4. Methods and Techniques

On the basis of the study’s key questions, the instruments of data collection were elaborated and
adapted to the identified sources of information. The methods and instruments to be used in
collecting the data were selected on the basis of their ability to validate the data. The multitude of
sources of information represents another way to provide an impartial view on the subject.

Data collection was carried out through the following methods:

x Workshops using participatory techniques

x Questionnaires
x Focus group discussions
x In-depth interviews
The option of using participatory methods of data collection with children is based on the
specific nature of the analysed subject. Because of some very delicate issues that are approached
in the research, it was necessary to guarantee children's ability to balance their degree of
involvement with the externalisation of their personal emotions. The participatory methods offer
opportunities for analysing personal experiences and exchanging experiences with other persons.
This facilitates the creation of an atmosphere of trust. The participatory methods stimulate self-
expression and prevent the children from presenting themselves in a favourable light or from
saying what they think the operator in the field expects them to say.

The information was gathered from children during workshops that lasted an average of 3.5
hours. Both groups of child participants, the group that constituted the study's subject and the
comparison group, were divided into two categories on the basis of their age. The division into
age groups of 10-14 and 15-18 was designed to create an open and comfortable atmosphere for

7
all of the children involved, taking into account the particulars of puberty and adolescence in
development and communication. In each of the three localities, four data collection workshops
were held, all of them in schools. Teachers were asked not to attend the activities organised with
the children.

The techniques used for collecting data from children were piloted with the help of two groups of
children, one which was formed of children with at least one parent working abroad. The
workshops planned for these groups of children differed only in one technique which was
connected with the experience of separation from parents: children living with parents were
asked to describe their families, while their peers without parental care were invited to explain to
what extent parents’ departure had changed their lives.

In general, when testing the data collection methods, child participants were cooperative and
showed interest in the subject. However, one of the evaluation activities was perceived by most
of the children differently from how it had been initially envisaged. Some of the children did not
understand the first variant of the technique, it took too much time to be performed, and it
required a lot of space that not all the schools were able to provide. As a result, the technique
aimed at identifying the children's internal resources to cope with the situation in which they
found themselves was replaced. The piloting constituted an important stage for the finalisation of
the instructions to children for the accomplishment of the tasks, for the management of time
reserved for each of the planned techniques, for confirmation of the efficiency of the group
techniques to provide dynamism for the process, and for the examination of children's readiness
to discuss certain subjects.

The team of data collectors was selected from the CRIC workers and volunteers (students or
graduates in social assistance with experience in facilitating group activities). These persons
were instructed in data collection methods and techniques, the specific tasks of a workshop
facilitator, focus group discussions and assistants’ tasks, as well as methods of recording and
storing information. Collectors were also asked to take into account the delicate character of the
analysed subjects, as well as the importance of respecting ethical principles, i.e., confidentiality.
Data collection workshops for children were led by teams of two to three persons.

4.5. The Structure of the Data Collection Workshop for Children

1. Visualisation in participatory planning

The participants answered individually, on cards, the following question: “What thoughts
preoccupy you during an ordinary day?” The children had the opportunity to complete several
cards, depending on the number of ideas they wanted to share with the group. The cards
containing ideas were grouped according to certain categories suggested by the participants
themselves and then commented upon, depending on their content and the frequency with which
some ideas recurred.
2. Brainstorming
The participants discussed, out of a multitude of ideas, a list of difficulties and social problems
they might face in the future as grownups. This exercise introduced them to the topic of the
internal resources that enable a person to overcome problems.

8
3. Clustering of skills
The participants were invited to group the cards, according to their own interpretation of what
was written on them, into three different categories: abilities, attitudes, and knowledge. The
grouping was done on the basis of cooperation and common decisions of the members of small
groups, which led to the expression of an “average” opinion in the groups.
4. Impact drawing / Family drawing
Children with one or both parents working abroad were asked to make a drawing representing
how their parents’ departure had changed their lives. It was proposed that the children recall,
individually, what their life used to be like before their parents went abroad and to compare it
with their conditions at present. Children were invited to meditate upon changes that occurred
during this period and to represent them on a sheet of paper. Participants were asked to comment
on the drawings.
Children living with their parents were asked to draw their families. It was proposed that
participants draw their actual families the way they were, rather than the way they would like
them to be. Then the children were invited to comment on the drawings, mentioning the persons
represented, characterising them and explaining their roles.
5. Dot voting on Likert 4 smiley-face scale
Participants expressed, through voting, their personal opinion on a series of assertions
concerning several rights selected by the research team. Each participant was asked to vote on a
scale from 1 to 5 – “fully agree,” “agree,” “yes and no,” “disagree,” “totally disagree.” Average
ratings for each statement reflected the children’s opinions on the extent to which their rights are
respected.
6. Social mapping
In groups, participants were invited to draw a map of their community and to indicate on it the
places where they can go if they need something, regardless of the problem they face (for advice,
for help, as well as for money). Children were asked to indicate with certain signs, invented by
them, to what extent the persons and the institutions represented on the map sustain them,
encourage them, and are friendly to them.
7. Future drawing
It was proposed that children represent in a drawing their future in five years or after leaving
school. Their drawing had to reflect as many aspects as possible of their future life, including the
community they will live in, the occupation they will have, their family, etc. Participants worked
in small groups, but they could choose between representing themselves separately or make a
drawing that included all of the group’s members. Each participant made a comment on his/her
drawing.

4.6. Questionnaire
Even though this study is based on qualitative methods, in order to obtain an overview of the
situation of children left without parental care, a questionnaire was also used. The questionnaire

4
Scale showing respondents’ agreement or disagreement with a statement.

9
was completed by 743 children in the 5th-12th forms from three localities involved in the
research. The objective of this methodology was to obtain information about the number of
children left without parental care because of parents’ departure abroad; children's material
conditions; school attendance; the country with the greatest number of Moldovan migrants; the
main channels of communication between parents and children and the reasons for the parents’
departure.

4.7. Focus-group discussions

This method was used to collect information from teachers and form masters from communities
involved in the study. Teachers constitute a valuable source of information because they are
constantly in contact with students and play a substantial role in their development. Most of the
teachers in the discussions were form masters of the children who represented the study’s subject
group. In total, three focus-group discussions were held, during which a set of questions
designed to tackle the study’s main areas of interest were talked about. They lasted almost an
hour and were recorded on audio tape.

Participants in the focus-group discussions showed interest in the problems and contributed to
the elucidation of various aspects of the children's behaviour. Despite the fact that certain
participants from this category had the tendency at the beginning of the discussion to present the
conditions of all children in a favourable light, including children without parental care,
gradually they became more open in discussing subjects approached in the study.

4.8. In-depth Interviews

This method was applied to probe the opinions of several categories of adults – caregivers,
school administrators, local NGO members, inspectors for juvenile offenders, medical workers,
representatives of local and central public administrations, and representatives of international
organisations. A set of questions and guidelines was elaborated for each category of participants,
with the aim of revealing community members’ views concerning all the issues discussed in the
study. Some of the interviews with representatives of local public administration took place over
the phone because of the difficulty of making an appointment with these persons. The interviews
were recorded on audio tapes and their average duration was 30 minutes.

During the study's development, we solicited stories about children who have experienced
separation from their parents from Local Children’s Councils, managed by the National
Children’s Resource Centre. Several stories that we considered most relevant to the study were
included in the report.

4.9. Data processing and analysis

Content analysis was used for most of the information collected. The data obtained from the
questionnaire and the Dot Voting on Likert Smiley Face Scale were analysed statistically.
Concerning the techniques used in analysing the drawings, in order to reduce subjective the
interpretation, the analysis of the information collected during workshops was based on
comments made by the children.

10
The information gathered during the workshops organised with children, the interviews, and the
focus-group discussions with adults was stored, in a standardized electronic form that had been
drawn up by research teams.

Content analysis was based on the identification of the main tendencies that emerged from all of
the information gathered. The key questions of the research served as main topics for the
organisation and systematisation of all data.

4.10. Consulting workshop

After a primary analysis, the information collected from the children, teachers, and caregivers
was used for consultations with a group of selected children. The need for feedback from the
children on the data obtained from these categories of adults was dictated by the fact that, as a
rule, the adults’ roles and opinions are known by all of the children. Ten teenagers and four
members of the research team were chosen to participate in the consulting workshop. Children
consultants were selected with the help of a partner organization that works with children that
had experience in other participation projects, but children did not consult on studies carried out
in their own localities.

The goal of the consulting workshop was to verify if the outcomes obtained corresponded with
reality. The consulting workshop used the following methods: focus-group discussions,
visualisation in Participatory Planning and Dot Voting on the Likert Smiley Face Scale. The
children consultants were shown the results of all the study’s key questions and the methods used
in their collection and were asked to express their opinions on whether the results corresponded
with reality. The opinions of the consulted children were recorded, given an electronic format,
and then integrated into the text of the outcomes obtained within the study.

The opinions collected from young workshop participants were very useful for achieving the
goals of the study, for the elaboration of the report, and for the formulation of the
recommendations included in the report.

The report presents relevant comments of participants related to various aspects of the problems
analysed. The source of opinions is indicated in each case. In order to facilitate the quotation of
the sources, several abbreviations and symbols will be used:

Gr.I – 10-14 years of age living without one or both parents;

Gr.II – 15-18 years of age living without one or both parents;
Gr.III – 10-14 years of age living with parents;
Gr.IV – 15-18 years of age living with parents.
DCW – participant in the data consultation workshop;
LPA – representatives of local public administration;
DDEYS - representatives of the District Department of Education, Children and Sports;
DDSAFP – representatives of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family
Protection;
MEYS – representative of the Ministry of Education, Children and Sports;
MHSPF - representative of the Ministry of Health and Social Protection of the Family;
MIA – representative of the Ministry of Internal Affairs;

11
NCCRP - representative of the National Council for Child's Rights Protection;
IOM – representative of the International Organisation for Migration;
UNICEF – representatives of the UNICEF Office in the Republic of Moldova.

4.11. Consideration of Ethical Principles

Informed agreement
The children and adults from the communities involved were informed about the study by the
resource persons solicited by the research team. During the data collection process, the children
and adults were informed about the study's objectives and the way the information gathered
would be used. Before the beginning of the workshops with children and discussions with adults
all the participants had the opportunity to choose whether or not to participate in the study.
The research team decided not to give any details about the research beforehand in order to avoid
answers prepared in advance as well as other factors that could distort the study' data. From the
experience of the organisation that conducted the study, some adults tend to “prepare” children
so that they present their community in a favourable light.
Confidentiality
The children and members of the communities in which the study was conducted were assured
from the beginning that confidentiality would be respected. The names of the localities from
which the children come were not included in the report in order to reduce the possibility of
discovering their identities. Nevertheless, the identity of certain adults can be discovered because
they participated in the study as representatives of public institutions. In spite of the personal
views that they expressed, these participants were asked to make public the opinions of the
institutions they represent; therefore, in these cases anonymity was not a concern.
Protection of psychological welfare
During the process of data collection and consultation, we made sure that our interventions
would not affect the children in any way. Instructions to the operators in the field and the
methodology used are the main ways this principle was respected.
The data collectors were young, competent in the field of psychology and social assistance and
had experience working with children. This played an important role in ensuring a favourable
climate for the discussion of all the subjects relevant to the study.

During the consulting and data collection workshops, participants enjoyed the freedom of
unlimited expression on any of the pertinent subjects. Many of the data collection methods used
drawing as an efficient technique to facilitate children's expression on delicate and private
matters. Participants were encouraged to share their emotional state, but some preferred not to do
so (for instance, some refused to comment on their drawings). Similar cases also occurred during
the workshops organised with children from the comparative group – namely, children living
with their parents. For those children who opted not to comment on their drawings, these cases
were excluded from the analysis.

12
Non-discrimination
Some techniques of data collection from children required participants to work in small groups.
Data collectors guaranteed equal opportunities for all participants to express themselves in order
to capture all the perspectives, sometimes even contrary ones on the same subject.
The research team made every effort to insert in the study's report the whole gamut of opinions
gathered from all categories of sources.
Children participation in data analysis
In order to ensure the quality of the analysis of the data collected within the study, a group of
children and children consultants discussed the outcomes obtained from preliminary processing
of the data. Since children’s everyday experiences can be different from adults' perceptions or
expectations, we considered that for a more meaningful understanding of children's conditions,
consulting the latter would be very useful. With the help of the opinions, views and explanations
provided by the consulting workshop participants, the research team tried to allow maximum
interpretation of the information and to keep the authenticity of the outcomes obtained as close
as possible to the children's reports. The children also participated in the process of making
recommendations for their peers left without parental care. This is how they contributed to
adjusting the suggested interventions to the real needs of these children.

5. Results
Actually, few studies have been carried out in the Republic of Moldova aimed at the elucidation
of the phenomenon of adult migration. Studies that have been made are overwhelmingly
statistical in character. Although sometimes contradictory, the official data and the data
provided by research reveal that the number of people who go abroad looking for a job is
alarmingly large. According to the data provided by MEYS, on September 1, 2005, the number
of school-age children with both parents abroad had reached 35,000. At the same time, about
75,000 children lived with only one parent because of the migration phenomenon.

The outcomes of the survey confirm the extent of adult migration from the localities involved in
the study. Thus, more than a fourth (27.6 percent) of the children questioned asserted that they
had one parent abroad while 9.3 percent of the children said both parents had migrated. In two of
the localities, the number of fathers who had gone abroad is significantly larger than the number
of migrant mothers. (See Table 4.)

Table 4: The Proportion of Migrant Parents

Migrant Locality I Locality II Locality III Total
parent Frequency Frequency Frequency Frequency Frequency Frequency
(pers.) (%) (pers.) (%) (pers.) (%)
Father 29 32.2 54 46.6 35 50.7 118
Mother 33 36.7 34 29.3 20 29 87
Both 28 31.1 28 24.1 13 18.8 69
NA* - - - - 1 1.4 1
Total 90 100 116 100 69 100 275
* no answer to the question

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The survey revealed that the vast majority of men from the analysed communities work in Russia
(almost 48 percent). Italy represents the second country of destination for migrant men. As for
women, the respondents most frequently mentioned Italy, followed by Russia. Other countries
presenting an interest for Moldovan migrants from communities involved in the study are:
Portugal, Ireland, Greece, France, Ukraine, Turkey, Spain, Germany, USA, and China.

The data obtained reveal that 40 percent of migrant fathers and 30 percent of migrant mothers
left the country during the current year; 21.4 percent of children have been living without their
mothers' care for three years, and 12 percent of children have been living without their fathers'
care for the same length of time. A considerable number of the respondents (about 6 percent)
asserted that they had been separated from their parents more than four years ago. The question
concerning the duration of separation from their fathers was not answered by 4 percent of the
respondents. This could be explained by the fact that many of their parents might be divorced.

The telephone and parcels represent the main channels of connection between children and their
migrant parents. Regarding the frequency of communication, most of the children (44 percent)
mentioned that they communicate 2-3 times a week. Every eighth child questioned
communicates daily with his/her parents who are abroad, and a fourth of the respondents
communicate weekly. Fifteen percent of the respondents communicate with their migrant parents
only several times a month, and about 2 percent of children communicate less than once in a 2-3
months period.

5.1. Children's perceptions regarding social problems that can affect them
Children from all of the groups involved in the study mentioned, among the problems they think
they might confront in the future, the following:

x Difficulties in ensuring both their own and their family’s welfare, caused by the lack of
work, the lack of a place to live, low salaries and insufficient financial resources for
pursuing education.
x Health problems, including HIV/AIDS, drug abuse, eating unhealthy food, and the lack
of potable water and good-quality medical services.
x Problems concerning relationships with other people, such as loneliness, lack of friends,
dishonesty, conflicts, violation of rights, family and social violence, divorce.
x Problems related to violation of social rules – human trafficking, including trafficking in
children, involvement in committing offences and terrorism.
x Ecological issues.
Children with parents abroad mentioned the urgent need for them to develop certain personal
abilities in order to cope with the eventual difficulties of adult life: independence in the decision-
making process, self-confidence, time management and emotional control.

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 5.2. Adults' perceptions of the risks faced by migrants' children
Of all the categories of adults participating in the study, only caregivers asserted that, as a rule,
children left in their care are not more vulnerable to situations involving risks than other
children. But in the opinion of the majority of the respondents, migrants’ children constitute a
group for whom there is a strong probability of risk.

Quitting school is among the most frequently mentioned form of risk. The loss of interest in
school and a deterioration of academic performance represent, in the opinion of the
representatives of central administration and UNICEF, signs of the risk of early school leaving.
The lack of motivation for studies can have negative consequences on children's education. The
members of the communities involved in the research expressed the same idea. According to
teachers’ reports, all of the children in the localities participating in the study are provided with
schooling. Certain teachers and headmasters reported that some cases of school leaving among
migrants’ children had been solved rapidly through counselling, sometimes with the consultation
of a psychologist.

“The main implications for them are connected with the schooling process;
there are children tending more often to abandon school... a worse academic
performance, because it is not a priority.” (UNICEF)

The survey shows that in both groups of children, only 3/4 of the respondents attend school
daily. The number of children asserting that sometimes they miss classes is slightly higher
among children with parents abroad: 22 percent.

School administrators, some teachers, representatives of local and central public administrations,
as well as representatives of the UNICEF office consider that another risk to migrants' children is
their vulnerability to drug abuse. In the view of the respondents, quite frequently these
behaviours of children and teenagers are caused by pressure from their peers.

“Children adopt certain undesirable behaviours – vulgar language, smoking and

alcohol and drug consumption – if they are not supervised by their parents.” (A
headmaster)

Some of the adults interviewed mentioned that the probability of children with at least one parent
working abroad committing offences is higher than in the case of children living with their
parents. Headmasters and certain representatives of local public authorities asserted that there
had been registered offences committed by these children, and the representatives of MIA and
NCCRP highlighted the role of the child’s circle of acquaintances in influencing the adoption of
such undesirable behaviours.

“... to find himself / herself in undesirable circumstances, in groups of children

that could make him commit certain illegal acts, beginning with moral and
finishing with penal offences”. (NCCRP: A representative of the National
Council for the Protection of Children’s Rights)

15
Deprivation of parental care, especially at an early age, is considered by several respondents as a
risk factor for children’s health. Some of their illnesses can become chronic because they “do not
solicit medical assistance when they need it.” Some teachers and UNICEF representatives share
the view that during the absence of parents, the reproductive health of children is also in danger.

“... the risk of an unwanted pregnancy, an infection. According to the outcomes

of our studies, teenagers are not well enough informed about sexually
transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS, the ways of protection, their symptoms
and anything else in this field…” (UNICEF)

Caregivers and representatives of the Ministry of Health and Social Protection of the Family
enumerated, among the risks children could confront, the lack of opportunities to pursue
education and easily find a job.

“... the risk of unemployment, when they grow up. Maturity does not guarantee
them a place in the social life…” (MHSPF: A representative of the Ministry of
Health and Social Protection of the Family)

In the opinion of many of the adults questioned, the development of relationships within families
with at least one member working abroad proves that in the near future “there will be a
generation gap. Divorce represents a very frequent phenomenon in migrants’ families. According
to the reports of the representative of IOM, in BălĠi about 60 percent of the families with one
member abroad are divorced. Because of the lack of alternative models for taking care of
children left without parental care, there is a risk that children with parents working abroad will
be institutionalised.

“Children educated in such circumstances will not be able to take care of their
parents when the latter are old.” (NGO)

“There is already a generation of children who have been living for ten years
without one or both parents.” (IOM)

Several respondents mentioned human trafficking and labour exploitation among the major
issues that can confront migrants' children in their lives.

“About half of the minors being provided with assistance at our centre after
having become victims of trafficking had been left without parental care; their
parents had gone abroad two, three or even five years ago.” (IOM)

Some adults consider that separation from parents could determine certain deficiencies in
children's personal development and in the hierarchy of their values. The feeling that they are
abandoned can generate “a complex of inferiority”, and this can have negative consequences on
the families these children will start in the future. One of the UNICEF representatives expressed
the idea that, in the future, adult migration “will have serious consequences at an economic and
social level for the whole country”.

16
 5.3. Living conditions of migrants' children

According to most adults participating in the study, people from families with a relatively good
material situation migrate, for they are able to pay the fees required for travel and visas. For the
poorer strata of society, this opportunity becomes too difficult to realise. Respondents stated that,
as a rule, children from families who had good living conditions were left without parental care.
At the same time, IOM representatives and several participants in the data consultation workshop
assert that the number of migrants coming from socially vulnerable families is rather high
because “those who leave are not able to find a job here and earn a decent living”.

“Families that lived well before went abroad”. (LPA: A representative of a local
public administration)

“I did not meet wealthy people in the group we are working with; most of them
are from socially vulnerable families....” (IOM)

“... people from deprived families also go abroad. But the situation in these
families, after the departure, worsens”. (DCW: A participant in a Data
Consultation Workshop)

Most adults questioned noticed that, as a rule, a parent working abroad positively affects the
quality of children’s lives. Teachers, headmasters, medical workers and representatives of local
public administrations consider that the material situation of children left without parental care
improved. Children live in better conditions, including repaired and fully equipped houses. They
have financial resources that allow them “to pay without any difficulty all the school fees,” to
buy expensive clothes and various goods, to entertain themselves. According to some
respondents, families with members working in countries of Western Europe “have a better
material situation” than families with members working in Russia.

“The living conditions of these children are very high, some live like those in a
city. The village is provided with gas and they have gas heating systems, warm
water and telephones.” (A teacher)

“... they have financial resources and they are able to buy books and other
school supplies.” (A headmaster)

“... their living conditions improve...”. (A medical worker)

“Children wear expensive clothes, they have mobile phones...” (DDSAFP: A

representative of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family
Protection)

The survey reveals that, in general, the children who were the subjects of the study consider
themselves financially better off than their peers. Thus, the number of children claiming that they
have more pocket money than their colleagues is two times bigger among respondents with
parents working abroad and constitutes 8.4 percent. At the same time, the proportion of children

17
claiming that they have less pocket money in comparison with their peers is significantly bigger
among children living with their parents (about 30 percent and 19 percent respectively).

The majority of caregivers mentioned that the material conditions of children with parents
abroad had not improved and that they confronted the same problems caused by a lack of money
as before their parents’ departure. Children who are not financially sustained, or who are
sustained to a small extent by migrant parents, and for whom guardianship has been arranged,
benefit from an allowance from the Town Hall. But according to caregivers, this sum of money
is insignificant and cannot solve all the problems these children face. In the opinion of some
adults, the children whose parents are not able to financially support them over a long period of
time risk becoming a burden to their caregivers. In such situations, the feeling of deprivation
they must deal with is stronger because they lack, on the one hand, affection and their parents’
support and, on the other hand, the material conditions that could satisfy their basic needs.

“Their material conditions did not improve; we still find it hard to buy all the
things they need”. (A caregiver)

“Parents leave and at the beginning they cannot easily find a job. As a result,
they do not send money; the relatives who take care of their children are not
satisfied and overwhelm the latter with reproaches and behave rudely with
them.” (IOM)

Thanks to parents who went abroad, some children have the advantage of enjoying various goods
such as personal computers, audio recorders, mobile telephones and other consumables, which
are usually hard for their peers to acquire. For children left without parental care, mobile
telephones become objects of primary importance because they help them get in touch with their
parents. Nevertheless, some teachers consider that at an early age the telephone is just a luxury
item that spoils children.

“Most children have got computers at home, audio recorders and they have an
occupation. Sometimes parents buy TV sets with satellite antennas.” (A teacher)

“In my class of 24 pupils only four do not have mobile telephones.” (A teacher)

“... they get access to high technology easier than we do. For them the mobile
telephone is a need, to talk to parents, for instance, but we must deserve it, for
example, when we enter the University.” (DCW: A participant in the Data
Consultation Workshop)

Some of the adults interviewed assert that the improved material conditions of these children
make other community members envious. According to certain respondents, people’s departure
abroad is motivated not so much by real financial difficulties as by fashion and by the desire to
improve their living conditions. During the consulting workshop, the idea was expressed that
many adults, including teachers, do not see that despite ameliorations in children's living
conditions there is much suffering and loneliness.

“... in many cases [colleagues, adults] are envious…” (A teacher)

18
 “... this wealthy life makes them do wrong things... the community members
consider them spoilt children...” (A medical worker)

“They only think... sometimes he has money and sometimes he does not,
sometimes he is in pain and sometimes he is happy, sometimes he is good at
school and sometimes he is not. But, they do not understand that children with
parents abroad go through difficult situations... there are moments when you just
cannot go on...”(DCW: A participant in the Data Consultation Workshop)

Most community agents included in the study asserted that, as a rule, the state of health,
including diet and the hygienic conditions of children left without parental care do not differ
from those of their peers living with their parents. While medical workers consider that the diet
of migrants’ children is better than that of other children, several teachers and participants in the
data consultation workshop have a different opinion, claiming that some of these children do not
eat regularly, which has a negative impact on their health. Some children consulted noticed that,
in the absence of parents, children usually tend to “hide” certain “health problems” and
postpone visits to the doctor for various reasons. Caregivers asserted that taking care of a
person's child is a big responsibility and requires constant vigilance over their state of health.
With respect to personal hygiene, some of teachers questioned expressed the idea that small
children “left in the care of their fathers” could experience some problems.

“... I would like to say that... their meals are even better, they take vitamins.” (A
medical worker)

“... they eat only fast food products and many girls have allergy problems of the
skin... and stomach aches.” (A teacher)

“Very many children with parents abroad do not have regular and healthy
meals.”(DCW: A participant in the Data Consultation Workshop)

“I will refer only to my class and I will say that children without parental care are
clean and proper.” (A teacher)

The outcomes of the survey show that most children are supposed to have three meals a day.
Nevertheless, this regimen is respected to a lesser extent by children with parents abroad than by
children from the comparison group (about 76 percent and 80 percent respectively). It should be
mentioned that in both categories there were cases of children who claimed that they had not
eaten anything during a whole day. In the group of children with parents abroad the percentage
of these answers is twice as high, and constitutes nearly 3 percent.

According to the data provided by the survey, migrants’ children claim that they have more
school supplies than their peers living with their parents (91 percent and 86 percent respectively).
Concerning winter clothes, we get the same picture in both groups of respondents.

19
 5.4.Psycho-emotional development

“Every child would like both parents to be at home. A complete family is more important than
anything.” (Gr. I)

Separation from their parents affects the internal lives of the children to a great extent. Both
grown-ups and children mentioned that their emotional lives suffer the most evident effects.

Almost all the children asserted that after their parents’ departure they faced difficult and
unpleasant emotional states. Only a few children from a certain region mentioned that their
current material condition, which had improved thanks to their parents’ work abroad, makes
them happy. Some of those who take care of children whose parents went abroad, along with
some medical personnel, share the same opinion. However, according to some children, money
cannot compensate for the suffering caused by separation from their parents.

“Before, I didn’t have the same possibilities as I do now ... there is a change of
the situation; therefore, I drew a joyful mother.” (Gr.II)

“They are glad, but do they understand ... they were glad when both parents left
in order to earn money. ...” (A caregiver)

“When parents go abroad, children are happy, hoping their material condition
will improve.” (A medical worker)

“I don’t feel the same way right now. I’m sad when I look at the other children. I
don’t need money anymore and I cry.” (Gr.II)

“Money is not important for me; I would like my parents to be always with me.”
(Gr.I)

“Despite an improvement in my material condition and freedom, I miss my

mummy very much.” (Gr.I)

The gamut of emotions used by children to describe their life is dominated by grey colours.
Longing and sadness are among the most frequently mentioned emotional states. Small children
say they often cry. Some children report a state of apathy they cannot control.

“I miss my mother very much.” (Gr.II)

“I’m sad now. My heart is incomplete without my mother.” (Gr.I)

“At the beginning I was rather depressed; I felt very bad in summer.” (Gr.II)

“... every night I cry; I miss them.”. (Gr.I)

“It's like I lost a part of my soul.” (Gr.II)

20
 “I’m sad because I don’t feel her love anymore.” (Gr.II)

“I don’t have love from both parents.” (Gr.I)

“I used to be happy; I used to love life. Now I miss them.” (Gr.II)

“... sometimes I don’t understand myself; I become sad for no reason.” (Gr.II)

“... I knew Mummy would always be by my side and I was happy.” (Gr.II)

According to the participants in the data consultation workshop, smaller children express their
emotions more easily; this creates the impression that they are more affected by their parents'
absence. In reality, all children, regardless of their age, suffer greatly when separated from their
parents. Some simply don’t express their feelings so openly.

“... I’m overwhelmed by my longing for them; I don’t have words to express
what I feel.” (Gr.I)

“... when you’re 17-18 you just don’t show your longing for your parents, but it
isn’t a matter of inhibition. Perhaps they are shy, or they are already
personalities and it isn’t visible.” (DCW: A participant in the data consulting
workshop)

“Sometimes they seem to be emotionally stronger, but this is just appearances.”

(DCW)

“They don’t like to share problems in public, but in private, open discussions we
discover they have more preoccupations than we do.”(DCW)

The adults noticed that a great number of children become inhibited, reserved and solitary.
According to the consultation workshop participants, as well as according to other adults, this
change in behaviour is associated with problems of self-expression that many children
experience. The respondents affirmed that isolation is more obvious when analysing boys. This
could be explained by the traditional view that expressing emotions, for a man, is a sign of
weakness.

“Generally, youngsters and children rarely express their feelings about

problems; the separation from their parents is not an exception. They don’t
express their emotions. They often say, ‘It's tough,’ without offering any
details.” (DCW: A participant in the data consulting workshop)

“They’re inhibited and there is no one to support them at home.” (A teacher)

“After their parents' departure, children become more reserved.” (LPA: A

representative of a local public administration)

“... they become shyer; they don’t have enough daring.” (LPA)

21
 “... they isolate themselves emotionally. Sometimes they become arrogant,
especially boys.” (DDEYS: A representatives of the District Department of
Education, Children and Sports)

“The absence of their parents causes constant suffering to the very little ones;
the older ones try not to show their feelings.” (A teacher)

“As the years pass, they become more inhibited and isolated.” (A teacher)

Most children mentioned that they are aware of the repercussions of their emotions on their own
personality and on others. The older the children are, the greater their awareness is. At the same
time, children claim they are unable to control and express their emotions in different
circumstances without aggressiveness. This is especially true of the older children. The
participants at the consultation workshop confirmed this tendency in teenagers, adding that it
manifests itself not only in children of that age but also in grown-ups.

“I’m aware of the effects; I don’t want to be aggressive because I don’t like to be
threatened, and I know how it feels, but I have to be because he makes me act
this way.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“First you say something, then you think of what you've said. When you're
angry, you say all you have on your mind regardless of who they are, teenagers
or adults.”(DCW)

“Physical aggression is excluded but there is verbal aggression.” (DCW)

It was proved that the absence of their parents represents an obvious preoccupation for these
children. They recall their previous life with both parents by their side; they miss them, they look
forward to seeing them again, to talking to them, and they want to become a family again.

“I’m always thinking about them.” (Gr.II)

“My thoughts are with my father who is not with me and who will soon come
back.” (Gr.I)

“Who will greet me when I return home?” (Gr.II)

“I want my parents to be with me.”(Gr.II)

“Will my daddy and mummy call me today?” (Gr.II)

“... I want them to call me.” (Gr.II)

“I want us to be a family again.” (Gr.II)

22
 “Children look forward to seeing their parents.” (DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

“...there is a deep longing for their parents.” (DCW)

Caregivers, teachers, school administrators and representatives of the District Department of

Education, Children and Sports (DDEYS) witness the children's sufferings. They confirm that
children are overwhelmed by their parents’ absence all the time.

“... they miss their parents." (A caregiver)

“Their thoughts are focused on their parents ... all the time.” (A teacher)

“Children growing up without their parents suffer a lot.” (A teacher)

“They are deprived of their parents' love.” (A teacher)

“They think it’s just a matter of time and that soon their parents will return home and
everything will get back on track.” (A teacher)

“Children are traumatised.” (A headmaster)

“Children lack their parents’ love, they’re emotionally traumatised, they suffer
longing for them.” (DDSAFP: A representative of the District Department of
Social Assistance and Family Protection)

The characteristics families in which children live with their parents only partially apply to
families in which the parents have gone abroad. Children in the former situation consider family
as an environment of love and care. Cohesion, co-operation, confidence, mutual support and
friendship are its inherent features. All these give children a sense of protection and safety.

“I'm happy; we are together as a family. I drew all of us in the middle of a big
heart, which means we love each other.” (Gr. IV)

“Unity and freedom characterise my family; everyone is responsible for his

chores and everyone’s position is taken into account.” (Gr.III)

“I am supported by my family.” (Gr. IV)

“When a problem comes up, we try to solve it together, as a family.”(Gr. IV)

“We do the housework together and we read together in the evening.” (Gr. IV)

“Before making a decision, daddy consults us. Mummy is like a friend to me.”
(Gr. IV)

23
 “Mummy is, and will always be, my best friend. I can share all my secrets with
her.”(Gr. IV)

“There is mutual respect in my family and we try to be kind to each other.” (Gr.
III)

“I have a four-member family. We are friendly and eager to help one

another.”(Gr. III)

“Here is a drawing of me as a boxer, because boxers are strong. This is exactly

how I feel when my parents are with me.” (Gr. IV)

On the other hand, many respondents mentioned that a lack of security characterises children
who have to face their parents' absence. According to young consultation workshop participants,
children actually fear the physical loneliness they find themselves in. Grownups say that this
insecurity can be observed in children' relationships, including relationships with their relatives.

“...our house is empty without them. When I’m alone I’m afraid.” (Gr. II)

“I know some children who are afraid to stay home alone. There’s a girl in our
class who has been living alone since she was in the 7th form.” (DCW: A
participant in the data consultation workshop)

“... they know they are not protected.” (A teacher)

“... they spend the night alone.” (A teacher)

“... they’re afraid because they don’t feel protected by their parents.” (DDEYS:
A representatives of the District Department of Education, Children and Sports)

“... he doesn’t feel safe; he doesn’t feel somebody's love.” (MEYS)

“... how protected do they feel when they are left by one or both parents? Their
safety is at stake. They are likely to be abused, hurt or even beaten and there will
be no one by their side to protect them.” (UNICEF)

Analysing the way children describe their families before their parents’ departure leads us to
conclude that some of them are reassessing their attitudes and behaviour in the relationship with
their parents. The lack of parental love on the one hand, and dealing with adult problems on the
other, has caused them to appreciate the advantages of having a family.

“I felt what a parent’s love means only after my father's departure, though I had
been very happy before.” (Gr. I)

“I didn’t use to help my mother. One day I thought to myself: ‘Was it so difficult
to bring her a pail of water?’ It is hard when there is nobody to help you about
the house.” (Gr. II)

24
 “We realise the true value of a thing after we lose it.” (Gr. II)

“Getting presents was making me happy, but now there is only one present I am
dreaming of: my parents.” (Gr. II)

“... I take into account the advice they gave me.” (Gr. I)

Most children said they were happy before, despite the fact that they were experiencing financial
difficulties, the main reason for their parents’ departure. Children enumerated many advantages
of living with their parents, among them: comfort, support in various activities, leisure.

“We were happy together.” (Gr. I)

“I was happy when my parents were with me. There was a mutual help between
us.” (Gr. I)

“I was joyful because they showed me a lot of love.” (Gr. I)

“... they were waiting for me to come home from school.” (Gr. I)

“Mummy was cooking for me.” (Gr. I)

“I could talk to them, complain about any problem.” (Gr. I)

“Mummy used to help me with my homework.” (Gr. I)

“We played football together.” (Gr. I)

According to the results of the research, some children are preoccupied with their parents'
integration abroad and with their welfare; others even have to worry about the relatives who are
supposed to take care of them. Children know various cases of mistreatment or even trafficking
of adults who migrate, and they are afraid this could occur to their parents. Finding out that their
parents face certain difficulties, many children tend to consider themselves responsible.
Sometimes the parents tell their children that they are going abroad for their sake, and later
caregivers remind them of this, amplifying their sorrow.

“I worry about them.” (Gr. II)

“I’m very concerned about my father's health.” (Gr. I)

“I hope nothing bad will happen to my parents while they are working.” (Gr. II)

“I hope granny will be O.K.; she is taking care of me right now.” (Gr. I)

“All I asked him to do was to study because his parents are sacrificing
themselves for him.” (A caregiver)

25
Some adults claim that children whose parents went abroad feel guilty about this. In such
circumstances children express regret about the way they behaved before their parents’
departure. According to the IOM representative, this sense of guilt can have severe effects on a
child’s development and can manifest itself in an inferiority complex.

“Unconsciously, these children feel guilty, considering themselves the cause of

their parents’ departure. They think they are to blame for all the harm occurring
to their families. ... It is childish but the sense of guilt has a very serious
psychological impact on the children; they can't have normal psychological
development. ... this guilt turns into a feeling of sinfulness and they feel
ashamed about everything they have ever done to their parents”. (IOM)

Some adults affirmed that one of the greatest disadvantages for children whose parents work
abroad is the lack of an emotional support system, which results in feelings of loneliness.
Children have to make huge efforts to overcome this feeling and quite often they don’t manage
to adapt well to the situation. Certain circumstances and events in their lives remind them of their
parents, and this tends to increase their suffering.

“When a mother goes abroad, her child is traumatised ... the child loses his
mother, in many cases both parents...” (DDEYS: A representatives of the District
Department of Education, Children and Sports)

“There is no one to help him deal with emotional problems, to give him advice,
to tell him what is right and what is wrong.” (IOM)

“Children and teenagers need love, advice; they need to be caressed and
understood, but how can they get all of this unless their parents are with them?”
(UNICEF)

“... some emotions, some special feelings for these children, because they suffer
from their parents' absence ... they use up a great deal of psychological energy in
coping with these feelings: they miss their parents, and they have no possibility
of sharing their thoughts and sorrows.” (NCCRP: A representative of the
National Council for the Protection of Children’s Rights)

“On holidays there are just are few of us. I become sad and I miss my parents’
love.” (Gr. II)

“... they are psychologically traumatised even when their parents can’t attend
meetings at school.” (DDSAFP: A representative of the District Department of
Social Assistance and Family Protection)

It was observed that the feelings provoked in children by the separation from their parents vary
over time. They usually feel most affected right after their parents’ departure and this first period
being is considered the most difficult. As time passes, they adapt themselves to the new
circumstances. But time is not able to ease the sufferings of all children.

26
 “... I was crying on the first days after they left.” (Gr. I)

“We miss her; everything reminds me of her.” (Gr. I)

Almost all caretakers confirmed that the period right after the departure of a parent is the most
difficult for the children. They noticed that during this period children become more timid,
sadder and more reserved, but as time passes they recover, for they need to talk and share their
feelings. Some respondents explain this situation as a form of shock children go through when
they obtain a freedom and independence they cannot handle.

“It was very hard ... especially the first time.” (A caregiver)

“He stayed in his room for three days...” (A caregiver)

“At the beginning, my nephews were crying constantly. I knew what they were
going through, but what could I do...?” (A caregiver)

“I noticed they needed to talk.” (A caregiver)

“They say they need their parents...” (A caregiver)

“This sudden change of responsibilities is quite difficult for them.... Our

children need to be guided and controlled. This enormous freedom and so much
responsibility confuses them...” (UNICEF)

Children’s adaptation to new life circumstances with no parents by their side is an extremely
difficult process. Despite the fact that in the consultation workshop the idea was expressed that
independent life is an opportunity for children to self-examine and to develop different
competencies, only a few teenagers affirmed they had really managed to overcome the problems
they face. Thus, only a few children matured and managed to adapt constructively to their new
life conditions, while the great majority of children did not adapt successfully, a fact confirmed
by the feelings overwhelming them and their opinions about their new-found freedom.

“Now I have pulled myself together and I think that is right. I became a grown-
up earlier, but that is good. I see things differently; life became real.” (Gr. II)

“I pulled myself together and I helped those who needed my help.” (Gr. I)

“I wanted to get more freedom before. My parents left and I have got the
freedom I was dreaming of, but I am sick and tired of it right now. After my
mother's departure, freedom became like a jail for me.” (Gr. II)

“Right after their parents' departure, children rejoice at the freedom they get, but
soon after they begin suffering from loneliness.” (A headmaster)

As a result, some persons keeping in contact with children notice various nuances and identify
several “types” of behaviour. Quite often they give a confused and ambivalent description of

27
children's behaviour, making conflicting assertions concerning their emotional lives. These
adults seldom try to explain children's reactions.

“... there are children who are calm and cope with it...” (A teacher)

“Some children feel they are inferior.” (A teacher)

“Perhaps it is some kind of resistance because his parents left him.” (A teacher)

“A pupil in the 7th form can be cheeky, but he is still too small and doesn't
understand. Besides, sometimes his grandmother takes care of him, sometimes
one of his relatives.” (A teacher)

“Some children are always sad and others give the impression of needing more
attention and help. But there are also optimistic children who involve
themselves in all school activities.”(A headmaster)

“Children become more arrogant and boastful. But at the same time they are
shyer and uncertain.” (A local NGO member)

“Children become more aggressive ... they are spoilt ... Or, on the contrary, they
become more responsible...” (A medical worker)

“On the one hand they become self-confident, on the other – vice versa.”
(DDEYS: A representatives of the District Department of Education, Children
and Sports)

“Children who have parents who work abroad have quite noticeable behaviour;
either they try to show they have a lot of money, or they are too timid and
reserved.” (MEYS: A representative of the Ministry of Education, Children and
Sports)

Teachers claim that the extent of the phenomenon of migration in the community influences a
child’s ability to adapt to new life circumstances. According to some, paradoxically, the more
children there are living without their parents, the more they learn to better accept and deal with
this situation. But other teachers believe that time makes children realise the negative
consequences of this phenomenon.

“At the beginning, after the first parent’s departure, I didn’t even dare to ask:
how is your mummy? Or how are you? ...their eyes were filling with tears. But
later they became inured to the situation. Many parents have left since then. At
the beginning it was tough for them ...now it has become fashionable.” (A
teacher)

“Some children don’t react so painfully to their parents’ absence right now.” (A
teacher)

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 “... several years of separation from their parents have made them aware of the
fact that children with parents are happier than children with money, like them.
Now there is a more profound awareness of this fact, but at the beginning it was
quite prestigious [to have money].” (A teacher)

Many adults believe that children with parents working abroad attribute an exaggerated
importance to money. Surprisingly, some people who are supposed to provide services to these
children label them “money children,” an expression that is strongly pejorative.

“Some children attribute greater importance to material things. When they get
presents from their parents they say, ‘I have money and I don’t [need to] speak
to you.’” (A caregiver)

“...they become greedy for money at an early age.” (A teacher)

“This phenomenon creates ‘money children,’ who don’t aspire to anything

because they are certain that money opens any door. Moral values are neglected
in their education.” (A local NGO member)

“They are consumers; they know their parents will send them money and
parcels and they no longer care how their parents earn this money.” (DDEYS: A
representatives of the District Department of Education, Children and Sports)

“They constitute a category of ‘money children;’ they wear mobile telephones,

they know what the power of money means and they are sure Mummy's money
can solve any problem.” (DDEYS)

“... they have no cares about money because they are ‘money children.’
(MHSPF: A representative of the Ministry of Health and Social Protection of
the Family)

Some adults said that money sent by parents makes many children feel superior to others. These
children wear expensive clothes and can afford to buy things that even some adults cannot
afford. The young consultation workshop participants and numerous adults considered that the
attribution of an excessive importance to money and material goods represents a defensive
reaction to the lack of affection these children feel.

“I know several cases when children consider themselves superior, for their material
situation has improved.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“There are people who always boast about their wealthy, beautiful life.” (DCW)

“If you have money you respect yourself.” (A teacher)

29
 5.5.The Evolution of Relationships
Relationships with parents
The research results show that children's relationship sphere underwent big changes after their
parents’ departure. Almost all children recognized a lack of interaction with others as the most
essential change that happened to them during the separation period. Children mentioned that
both the number and the quality of their relationships had changed. Despite the fact that most
children participating at the study are being taken care of by a relative, many described
themselves as lonely, isolated and deprived of support.

“I am alone.” (Gr. I)

“She left and I miss our talks.” (Gr. I)

“I've drawn a cloud which means isolation.” (Gr. II)

“I don’t have many friends.” (Gr. I)

“I am more reserved right now.” (Gr. II)

“I need advice.” (Gr. I)

“Nobody can help me now.” (Gr. I)

“No parents – no support.” (Gr. II)

“When they were at home they sustained me; now I have only my granny by my
side.” (Gr. I)

“Children don’t know who can listen to their problems. There is a girl in our
class whose parents left and she is supposed to take care of her two younger
brothers. She has questions and problems but she doesn’t know who can help
her.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

It was clear that a great concern of children with parents working abroad is their relationships
with their parents and other family members. At the age of 10-14 this preoccupation becomes
more important than their relationships with children of their own age. As for teenagers, it was
clear from both the subject and the comparison groups that problems of relationships with people
their own age become paramount. The attention attributed to family relationships by children
with parents working abroad is understandable and real. Young consultation workshop
participants affirmed that one of the main differences between children with parents working
abroad and children of their own age living with their parents is the lack of psychological support
for the first group. There is nobody at home waiting for them who cares about their everyday
problems and successes. A key feature of children living with their parents is “the thought that
any problem can be solved with somebody’s help.”

30
Some adults also mentioned that children living without their parents don’t have a reliable person
with whom they can share their preoccupations, feelings and happy moments. According to
teachers, it is more common for small children to become disoriented when their parents leave.

“Without their parents, they just can't share.” (A teacher)

“If you have a problem you can share it with your parents, but if your parents
are gone there is nobody you can share with.” (A teacher)

“Getting advice from a parent is one thing, but getting advice from someone
else...” (NCCRP: A representative of the National Council for the Protection of
Children’s Rights)

“Parents usually look after their children, telling them what to do and how to do
it. A child living without his mother is a child living on his own. Too much
freedom he can't handle.” (A teacher)

“If from his early childhood a child has not been looked after by his parents, he
is desperate, he doesn’t know what is right and what is wrong.” (A teacher)

These teachers' observations coincide with the assertions of many children aged 10-14, who
mentioned that the separation from their parents had had an impact on their ability to make
decisions. Most children participants in the study estimated their own ability of making decisions
in different circumstances to be average, while the same aged children living with their parents
recognized that they had not developed this ability yet. Not getting advice from their parents
makes it hard for children to make decisions on their own.

“It’s difficult, quite often I need a piece of advice.” (Gr. I)

“Now, I find it difficult to make up my mind on my own.” (Gr. I)

“Daddy is the head of the family; he used to make the decisions. Now we have
the freedom to decide but I don’t think this is good.” (Gr. I)

Telephone contact between parents and children

The survey revealed that the most frequent form of communication between parents and children
is the telephone (almost 86 percent), followed by the sending of parcels (almost 13 percent).
Both adults and child participants in the study confirmed that these ways of communication are
in current usage. At the same time, some children emphasised that it was unsatisfactory for them
to talk over the phone with their parents because this communication is a poor substitute for real
contact, which is more profound.

“Despite the distance, I talk to them almost every day.” (Gr. I)

“We talk over the phone, but I want to feel her next to me; I can't see her.”
(Gr.I )

31
 “... the sound of her words over the phone can't be compared to her real voice. ”
(Gr. I)

“Children communicate with their parents over the phone.” (LPA: A

representative of a local public administration)

“... anyway, they keep in touch with their parents over the phone.” (A teacher)

“... over the phone, parents are concerned about their children and about what
they left at home.” (A teacher)

“... his mother is in Italy and she calls once a week, sometimes more often.” (A
teacher)

Some caregivers and teachers reported that for children, telephone conversations with their
parents are very important and they look forward to them, even if, quite often, this causes
unpleasant emotions and increases their longing for their parents and their feelings of loneliness.

“She is excited while talking over the phone [with her mother], she misses her.”
(A caregiver)

“... they both cry over the phone and traumatize themselves.” (A teacher)

Some teachers consider telephone conversations are an especially good way for parents to
maintain a strong tie with their children. But according to other teachers’ opinions, and in the
DDSAFP (District Department of Social Assistance and Family Protection) representative’s
view, the main topic discussed during the communications between parents and children is the
need for money and various material goods as well as the need for parcels, while they ignore the
child’s emotional state.

“... parents guide them, but only over the phone.” (A teacher)

“... they pursue their education through letters and phone talks.” (A teacher)

“... they trust their children.” (A teacher)

“Their conversation focuses on the subject of money and parcels. Unfortunately,

some parents don’t worry about their children's health.” (A teacher)

“Even if parents keep in touch with their children, gradually these telephone
talks become less frequent and less affectionate.” (A teacher)

“Telephone conversations or even tapes and pictures of their parents can’t

replace real contact for children.” (DDSAFP: A representative of the District
Department of Social Assistance and Family Protection)

32
When parents send parcels to their children

As a result of the migration process several regions strongly affected by this phenomenon
developed a network of regular bus routes for transporting people, parcels and money. In such
communities children sometimes miss classes in order to receive parcels from their parents.
Teachers involved in the study affirmed they understand children in such cases. The MHSPF
(Ministry of Health and Social Protection of the Family) representative mentioned that this
phenomenon could constitute an obstacle in the education process.

“On Wednesdays there is a bus transporting parcels.” (A teacher)

“... they send them parcels and buy them goods, such as clothes. ” (A teacher)

“... there are buses coming directly to our village; others pass through and
collect parcels.” (A teacher)

“... they ask for permission to miss lessons when they have to receive parcels,
and we allow them to leave.” (A teacher)
“... on the day the minibus is supposed to arrive with presents from abroad,
children don’t even go to school. We have discussed this problem with mayors
who should prevent the minibuses from coming during school hours.” (MHSPF:
A representative of the Ministry of Health and Social Protection of the Family)

Despite the fact that children have frequent conversations with their parents, they don’t tackle
subjects such as their emotional state and the everyday difficulties they have to face. Reasons for
this include the high cost of phone conversations, the difficulty of dealing with more delicate
issues on the phone, and children’s desire that the communication between parents and children
should focus on the household, the child's success in school and their need for money and other
goods. Before leaving, most parents made a plan and established some rules according to which
children should lead their lives, and communications between parents/children/caregivers are
centred on the assessment of the development of the plan. For some children, telephone
conversations take place only at certain intervals or in emergencies. These circumstances make it
difficult for them to share their ordinary problems, their sorrows, situations or events that could
be of interest.

“...parents call regularly; they are interested mainly in their children's success at
school.” (A caregiver)

“... in emergency cases we call parents to consult with them.” (A caregiver)

“... parents are not preoccupied with their children's problems.” (A teacher)

“... we discuss with them, but he also needs his mother for advice... and there is
nobody he can share with. And what can they decide over the telephone...this is
not the way.” (A teacher)

33
 “Sometimes children don’t learn anything from telephone conversations; parents
don’t know what advice to give them.” (A teacher)

Visits from parents

More than a third of the children participating in the survey (36 percent) mentioned that their
parents visit them once every 2-3 months; 17 percent said once in six months, and 10 percent,
once a year. A fourth of the children (26 percent) see their parents less than once a year. The
frequency of visits depends directly on the distance between the foreign country where the
parents have found a job and their homeland, as well as on their legal or illegal status. As a rule,
parents working in Russia visit their children more frequently than those working in Western
Europe. The frequency of visits from parents in the second category depends on whether or not
they possess a visa. Several cases of internal migration were noted, with children saying their
parents work in another locality and return home for a couple of days every week or month.
Teachers expressed the opinion that it is easier for children to adapt to their parents’ absence if it
doesn’t last for too long.

“... those who work legally come home once a year, once in a three months
period... and they keep in touch with their children.” (A teacher)

“... parents come back in summer. There are parents who have been living
abroad for five or six years, but they return home regularly because they have
working visas.” (A teacher)

“... some parents who have the status of legal immigrants visit their children
quite often.” (A teacher)
“Visiting their children once in two or three months, parents try to give them so
much love, energy, advice and care that it will last till the next visit.” (A
teacher)

How children try to please their parents

Children rarely analysed the development of their relationships with their parents working
abroad. Those who expressed themselves on this subject mentioned that their relationships with
their parents are as close as before or have even improved. The study shows that despite
difficulties, some children try hard to meet their parents’ expectations, becoming more
responsible, succeeding at school and in other fields. Consultation workshop participants
confirmed that children’s desire to retain parents' confidence and maintain a close relationship
with them is very great; it concerns all children and teenagers, including those living with their
parents. Most children say they appreciate their parents’ efforts to give them a better life and
don't want to let them down.

“... my love for them is as strong as before.” (Gr. I)

“I still love her like I did before.” (Gr. I)

34
 “We loved her before when she was next to us; we love her now when she is far
away in the same way.” (Gr. I)

“Now I feel we are closer with my mummy [than before she left].” (Gr. II)

“...they want to show they are adults and independent.” (DCW: A participant in
the data consultation workshop)

“...I am alone but I try to succeed in everything: at school, at home...I don’t

want my parents to be ashamed of me.” (DCW)

“... they don’t want to let their parents down, especially the one working
abroad.” (DCW)

“First of all, they don’t want to lose their parents' confidence.” (DCW)

Some adults, especially teachers, consider that the children's sense of responsibility has increased
as a result of effective control by their parents or caregivers. In their opinion, children's positive
behaviour is due to the fear that news of all their bad behaviour will subsequently reach their
parents.

“Perhaps they are aware that parents will come back and punish them.” (A
teacher)

How children perceive the reasons for their parents’ migration

According to adults, children have different perceptions of their parents’ need to go abroad.
Some children understand that working abroad is a unique opportunity for their parents to
support families. For others, their parents’ frequent departures represent a disappointment, which
emphasizes the psychological distance between them.

“Sometimes parents come back after two years of absence, bring some money
and promise their children not to leave any more, but when they don’t find a job
here, they leave again.” (IOM)

“There are children who agree that their parents must leave again after having
visited their families; they are not able to find a job here.” (A teacher)

The survey showed that children from communities included in the study are aware of their
parents’ motives for going abroad. For some of them, understanding these causes helps them
overcome difficult experiences.

“Nobody wants to leave his homeland and go abroad. The main reason is the
need for money.” (Gr.II)

“Parents are ready to do anything for their children; they care about our welfare
and education.” (Gr.II)

35
Children enumerated the following motives for their parents' departure:

x Poverty, unemployment, a lack of financial means to support their families

“The lack of money.”

“No job in the homeland.”

“They can't find a job at home but they can make a lot of money abroad.”

“...in order to buy food, clothes and shoes.”

“We don’t have enough money for all we need to buy.”

“She couldn’t support our family with the salary of a teacher.”

“...in order to support the family. If she hadn’t gone abroad we would be leading
a hard life.”

“There is not enough money to buy food, clothes or pay the electricity, gas or
telephone bills.”

“... in order to get rid of poverty.”

x Lack of the financial means to finish building a house or make renovations

“... in order to finish the constructions.”

“... to renovate our house.”

“We wanted to build a house.”

“... to make enough money to buy a house.”

x The need to repay numerous loans

“... to repay loans.”

“We had many loans.”

“... in order to make money and repay loans.”

x Parents’ wish to offer their children a better future / an education

“... they want to be sure we have a better life.”

“In order to offer their children a decent future.”

36
 “They want us to be able to go to the university.”

“... to further our education after leaving school.”

“To enter a prestigious profession.”

x The illness of a family member

“I am ill and it causes big expenses.”

“My father got sick and Mummy had to go abroad.”

x Conflicts between parents

“Because of money and constant quarrels with Father.”

“My parents quarrelled and Mummy left for Italy.”

“Mummy and Daddy divorced; Mummy had to go abroad to support us.”

Children’s attempts to adapt to their parents’ absence

Some teenagers reported various experiences in their attempts to adapt to life without their
parents. They mentioned that sometimes they were looking forward to seeing them, but after a
week of living together again they were anxious for them to leave. At the same time, most
teachers said that relationships between parents working abroad and their children become colder
over time. These situations could be considered a defence mechanism against possible
separations from parents. Life without one or even both parents triggers a great upheaval in a
child’s life. They live under constant stress, overwhelmed by emotions and new, unknown
situations they are not ready for. Gradually, they “accustom themselves” to handling problems
on their own, they get used to a new style of life and live according to their own rules. These
rules can include apparently insignificant things like ways of dressing, diet, housekeeping, etc.
When the newly returned parents suggest that their children reconsider their behaviour, it is quite
difficult for them to obey. Regardless of what our attitude towards the child’s new style of life is,
it helped him overcome all the problems he had to face alone.

“...his mother is due to come home soon; he looks forward to seeing her.” (A
teacher)

“They feel their parents will soon return and they are anxious to see them.” (A
caregiver)

“Quite often, after several days of living together, children react by asking their
parents when they intend to leave again, especially after having received all the
material goods they need.” (A teacher)

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 “... anyway it is an incomplete family; they have become almost strangers.” (A
headmaster)

“Finally, the child becomes estranged from his parents; they no longer represent
authority. Sometimes he even hates these parents unconsciously.... [Parents]
discover their children have become estranged from them...” (IOM)

“The relationship between parent and child becomes colder and more reserved.”
(A teacher)

“These children isolate themselves from their parents. Soon after their arrival,
the children want their parents to leave.... She established a new order at home
and her parents usually tend to destroy it, and she doesn’t accept some of their
remarks and comments. She is independent, she is on her own, and she wants
her mother to leave.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“... children feel embarrassed at their parents' presence, for they got used to
being alone and now they come and begin telling... ” (DCW)

“Children forget how they should behave in their parents' presence. They
become estranged from them.” (DCW)

Children's relationships with caregivers

Almost all the children involved in this study were cared for by relatives. Some lived with one of
their parents, but most lived with grandparents or aunts.

However, local public administration representatives mentioned that there are cases where
children are left in the care of complete strangers. According to caregivers and teachers, adults
who migrate leave their children in the care of people they trust, usually relatives. Central public
administration representatives have reported situations where parents do not let anybody from
the community know about their departure abroad, because it is illegal, and therefore their
children are left without care.

“... of course, before leaving they asked a reliable person to look after their
children.” (A caregiver)

“... some children live with their grandparents, others with relatives, only
teenagers in the 11,12 13th form live alone.” (A headmaster)

“Children are left in the care of relatives who support them.” (LPA: A
representative of a local public administration)

“... in the most frequent cases, mothers go abroad illegally and can't grant
somebody the guardianship of their children, so they leave them alone at home

38
 ... we are lucky that neighbours report such cases in time.” (MEYS: A
representative of the Ministry of Education, Children and Sports)

According to respondents, smaller children usually move into their caregivers’ houses, whereas
older children stay at home and are regularly visited. During the consultation workshop, the
opinion of the participants was that most teenagers with both parents working abroad prefer to
live in their parents' house, separately from caregivers. They also mentioned that the best
caregivers are relatives whom they could ask for help in difficult situations. During the research,
various cases were reported in which children had to leave for other localities to stay with
caregivers.

“Grandparents only visit them, but they spend the night alone.” (A teacher)

“... some children live with uncles or aunts, but most frequently with
grandparents. There are cases where even three children had moved to another
family. We have a concrete case when the sister from X brought the boy here in
Y.” (A headmaster)

It appears that for smaller children the presence of an adult in the house is very important. It was
ascertained that many children who had been taken care of and brought up by caregivers from
early childhood call them “Mummy” and “Daddy,” while they call their parents by their names.

“... she was only 8 months when they left; she calls my husband “daddy”. He
tells her “I am not your daddy”, but she replies “you are because I don’t know
another one”. And she loves him very much.” (A caregiver)

“A girl living with her grandmother said ’I have got two mothers’”. She is in the
3rd form and she has lived with her grandmother since she was a baby! ... her
mother explained to the girl that she has a grandmother and only one mother
who gave her birth. The girl is aware, but she spends most of the time with
grandma...” (LPA: A representative of a local public administration)

The children seldom described their relationships with the persons looking after them. This is
also due to the methods used in the study, which didn’t focus on these persons’ roles.
Nevertheless, the children’s comments on caregivers lead us to the idea that these relationships
are not close enough to cause the children to share with them.

“I could tell Mummy about any problem.” (Gr. II)

“... I became reserved. I can't tell Grandma everything ... I am alone.” (Gr. II)

Caregivers participating in the study consider that their role is mainly to offer children adequate
living conditions, to look after their school success, and to try to prevent undesirable social
behaviour. At the same time, they had different appraisals of the difficulty of this role. Most
mentioned the first period, after the parents' departure, as the most difficult time. The suffering
of the child coincided with the process of adaptation to life in the caregiver's family. In only one

39
case the caregiver affirmed that the child adapted more easily because from early childhood he
had been spending a lot of time at his grandparents’ place.

“At the beginning ... he was shyer, it is understandable, there was no mummy,
no daddy – it is easier with them. But now he got used to us ...” (A caregiver)

“They felt like strangers at the beginning, they behaved well, they were afraid I
would punish them, now they feel at home.” (A caregiver)

“After my sister's departure my nephews used to cry a lot, but what could I do?”
(A caregiver)

One of the most difficult situations is when a caregiver or even an elderly relative is supposed to
look after several children. Only a single case of this kind was identified during the research, but
the children consulted said that this happens rather frequently and, as a rule, in such conditions
children feel neglected. In the opinion of the NCCRP (National Council for the Protection of
Children’s Rights) representative, realising they are not a priority for caregivers makes children
feel uncertain and isolated.

“... Besides the children, I also have to take care of their abandoned grandfather
and it is quite hard ...” (A caregiver)

“... in addition to me, my aunt has to look after some other nephews.” (DCW: A
participant in the data consultation workshop)

“... anyway, these people have a spectrum of interests and the responsibility of
caring for these children is a supplementary one. It can't be compared with
parental care. Children are sensitive creatures and feel this estrangement ... they
feel a lack of care and support.” (NCCRP: A representative of the National
Council for the Protection of Children’s Rights)

According to some consultation workshop participants, numerous caregivers, thinking that

children have adapted themselves to life in their new families, don’t really know the true feelings
of these children and accept only the outward appearances. They cannot see the children’s
suffering because the children usually don’t feel free to talk about their personal experiences.
Children expressed the idea that caregivers find it hard to admit that children don’t feel as
comfortable with them as they feel with their parents.

Most caregivers and some teachers mentioned that looking after somebody else’s child is a
bigger responsibility than looking after your own. Therefore, many caregivers tend to become
overprotective. Some teachers, on the other hand, claim that some caregivers are “more
indifferent than parents.”

“The responsibility is enormous... with your own child you worry a lot; when
you are looking after someone else’s child it is even more complicated.” (A
caregiver)

40
 “... it is a huge responsibility, especially when both parents have left...” (A
teacher)

An absolute majority of community officials – mayors, teachers, medical workers – affirmed

proudly that in their localities each child with parents working abroad is being closely looked
after by adults. At the same time, most respondents mentioned that as a rule caregivers attend to
only the physical conditions of children. And, unfortunately, this is far from ensuring
harmonious development for the child. In their opinion, caregivers are not able to meet all the
needs of children, mainly those of teenagers. Living in the caregiver's family, the child lacks
parental care. Some interviewed adults mentioned these children usually don’t have enough
leisure and sometimes they are deprived to some extent of interaction with other children of their
own age, due to household chores for which they are responsible.

“I am good as a guardian – [I am able] to provide them with food, to give them a shelter,
to shape their behaviour. But I can't replace their mother. I can offer true love only to my
own children.” (A headmaster)

“...looking after somebody else’s child is like calling a complete stranger

‘Mummy’... you can't feel what you feel for your own child, it is not the same
kindness, the same love or the same care...” (A medical worker)

“...they offer them food, a warm house, all kinds of basic things. But concerning
the emotional aspect – it’s not like being with their parents...” (LPA: A
representative of a local public administration)

Some caregivers described how they try to compensate for the parents’ absence:

x Giving equal treatment to your own children and those left in your care;

x Discussing topics of interest to the children in order to distract them from unpleasant
emotions;

x Exercising extreme control over the children’s everyday activities to prevent them from
adopting undesirable behaviour;

x Replacing previous leisure activities with household duties.

“I do my best to be fair to both of them. I don’t want them to quarrel or hate

each other and say, ‘Her children are playing, while we are exploited.’ When
they play, they play together, when they work, they work together, too.” (A
caregiver)

“...I buy footwear for both girls. I don’t want them to think there are favourites.”
(A caregiver)

“...do you like Shakira? Look what I read... I tackled such a subject and we
talked about music and I noticed a change in my child's eyes...” (A caregiver)

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 “...he is under strict control, every movement, every step. He is not allowed to
go anywhere without permission... this is what I asked him at the beginning:
‘Are you able to obey or not?’” (A caregiver)
“He should not complain about the living conditions, only that he is under
constant control…” (A caregiver)

“...feed the animals and the poultry, chop some wood for the fire and wait for
me... when the child is busy with household duties it is like he is ‘contained’
and you can control him.” (A caregiver)

Many adults noticed aggressive behaviour in children with parents working abroad. Some of the
young consultation workshop participants affirmed that quite often caregivers try to replace
parents and, in order to ensure the child's discipline, tend to become authoritarian. The great
majority of children, especially teenagers, don’t accept such an attitude and register their protest
by becoming aggressive. A local public administration representative expressed his view that
excessive guardianship can negatively influence a child's self-confidence.

“...when the relative looking after him tells him what to do, he replies, ‘you are
neither my mother nor my father.’ They are very aggressive.” (a medical
worker)

“... grandparents can't deal with them; they don’t obey.” (A headmaster)

“They don’t tolerate remarks from grandparents or relatives.” (LPA: A

representative of a local public administration)

“Children become aggressive; they don’t recognise the caregiver's authority.

They are spoiled.” (A medical worker)

“I think excessive control leads to a loss of self-confidence; children don’t feel

comfortable anymore.” (DDEYS: A representatives of the District Department
of Education, Children and Sports)

Children reported cases where caregivers infringe on the child's right to privacy. Perhaps,
intending to prevent children from doing undesirable deeds, caregivers want to be aware of the
children's personal lives and resort to reading their diaries or letters addressed to their parents.
Teachers and caregivers have also mentioned such situations.

“... he has a copybook and writes down everything that happens during the day.
I find it and read it...I tell him: ‘you are already a big boy’... But he replies:
‘Granny, I thought you couldn’t read in this language.’” (A caregiver)

“... I read a girl's letter to her mother who is abroad…” (A teacher)

Almost all of the adults interviewed and all of the children consulted mentioned that in the
relationship between caregivers and children various conflict situations can arise. Teachers
expressed the idea that differences between parents’ ideas about education and those of

42
caregivers can lead to conflicts between them. When parents come back they reproach caregivers
for what they believe to be negative behaviour in their children. A central public administration
representative reported that there are cases when relatives who are supposed to look after
children “can't handle it” and therefore ask the mayor to place the children in residential
institutions. Adults included, among factors generating conflicts between children and
caregivers, several features of the latter:

x Old age, which represents concepts of life that are completely different from those of
children and teenagers. This includes the incapacity to help children with their homework
and support them, when it is required, in their spheres of interest;

x The use of an ineffective style of communication because of lack of awareness of the

particulars of adolescence;

x A restrictive educational strategy, adopted in order to avoid or reduce the risks of

undesirable behaviour.

“The problem is the grandparents’ traditional education... this situation requires

knowledge of psychology, of child-parent attitudes, and many other problems,
especially connected with morality.... It is not enough to explain the problem to
a child; he needs concrete examples from the family.” (A headmaster)

“... she can't help the girl with her mathematics homework. The girl is in the 4th
form and when her mother was home they used to do homework together.”
(LPA: A representative of a local public administration)

“...they can't agree with their grandparents because of differences in age; for
instance, the grandfather goes to bed at 9 o’clock and he turns the light off,
saying, ‘It’s bedtime.’ Or he often asks, ‘Why should you go there?’ or ‘Why
are you doing this?’ Children have their own interests... this is how conflicts
arise." (A headmaster)

“... the difference in age and convictions is too significant.” (DDSAFP: A

representative of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family
Protection)

“... children have their own opinions and modern views, but grandparents, due
to their age, see life differently.” (DDSAFP)

“Maybe they want more freedom... but their grandparents disagree. This also
has an impact on their character.” (LPA)

“They want to take part in contests in the city ... sometimes they are not allowed
to because their grandparents are old and are not able to accompany them.”
(LPA)

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Money sent by parents from abroad was also mentioned as a cause of conflict between children
and caregivers. Parents send money not only to ensure their children's support, but also as a
reward for the caregivers’ efforts. In both cases, there were situations where caregivers’ attitudes
oscillated based on whether the sum of money had been transferred on time or was late. Within
the consultation workshop it was confirmed that people’s attitudes towards these children change
if their material conditions worsen.

- “... a distant relative expects payment for looking after children.” (DDEYS: A
representatives of the District Department of Education, Children and Sports)

The way caregivers administer money sent by parents can also create tensions between children
and caregivers. Such situations occur even if there are agreements on this issue between parents
and caregivers. It is possible for adolescents to feel frustrated by the way caregivers spend
money because, on the one hand, they are told that their parents work and earn money for them,
but, on the other hand, they are not involved in discussions about how the money is used. In
some cases, caregivers abuse their prerogatives and start spending the money that was intended
for other purposes. The research revealed the case of a young girl who had not been able to
organise her birthday party with her friends as she wished because of a caregiver who ‘saved’
some money from the sum sent by the girl’s parents for the party.

“The girl wanted to organise her birthday party and [her mother] sent her the
necessary money, but it didn’t happen as planned. [Her aunt] made some
modifications in order to pocket the savings.” (DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

“... perhaps it happens because parents send money, but caregivers use it for
personal purposes.” (DDEYS: representatives of the District Department of
Education, Children and Sports)

Some adults claim that there are cases where children with at least one parent abroad become
witnesses to or sometimes even victims of caregivers' inappropriate and dangerous behaviour.
Among them are fathers, stepfathers or relatives.

“Parents leave them with grandparents, but sometimes the latter have bad
habits, they drink alcohol, quarrel, swear.” (A headmaster)

“Mothers leave and girls stay with their fathers who begin drinking. There are
cases where fathers abuse their daughters.” (IOM)

“...fathers abuse alcohol and then the risk for children of being physically
abused is high... or they are not understood, or there is no one in whom they can
confide. A father who spends his time drinking has no time to interact with his
children, understand them or offer them what they need.” (UNICEF)

“...there is a high risk of sexual abuse .... [especially in] situations where fathers
abuse alcohol ... or when boys or girls are left in the care of stepfathers.”
(UNICEF)

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Children's relationships with their peers

Interpersonal relationships with peers constituted a constant preoccupation for the children
participating in the study. At the ages of 10 to 14, children from the comparison group mentioned
that they pass their free time in the company of their friends, whereas children who are the focus
of the study mentioned envy and distrust as characterizing their relationships. Adolescents from
both groups expressed similar concerns – [lack of] mutual support between friends, the
importance of colleagues’ and friends’ opinions, relationships with people of the opposite sex.
Within the consulting workshop many participants asserted that numerous children living with
their parents want to show their maturity by trying to prove to their peers that they were
independent of their parents. The children who were consulted noticed that most children with
parents working abroad tend to avoid activities in large groups and prefer, as a rule, inter actions
in small groups of people who are experiencing the same situation of separation from their
parents. These children are concerned about finding ‘authentic friends,’ which means reliable
people, with whom they can share various problems, including personal matters. It was also
mentioned that these children ‘easily find themselves under the influence of negative circles of
friends.’

Most of these ideas can be found in the comments made by different adults involved in the study.
Caregivers represent the only category of adults who asserted that relationships between children
left in their care and their peers remained as friendly and as close as before the parents' departure.
Only a few teachers from one locality involved in the study agreed that these children’s circle of
friends had not changed and the conflicts between them had not been determined by their
families’ living conditions. It should be also mentioned that this community is characterized by a
tradition of children’s participation.

“…it’s the same social environment… according to my observations, I can’t say

it has changed; it’s the same circle of friends and colleagues…” (A caregiver)

“…she is quite friendly towards everybody; she plays and invites them all to her
place.” (A caregiver)

“…they aren’t isolated in class; I didn’t notice anything like that. They are all
friends. Even if sometimes they quarrel, it’s not because of the fact that ‘your
parents are working abroad…’ I wouldn’t say they quarrel because of their
parents’ departure.” (A teacher)

“Children with parents abroad aren’t isolated from their colleagues and the
conflicts between them aren’t based on such reasons.” (A headmaster)

Almost all teachers believe that parents’ departure abroad is a negative factor that influences
children’s relationships with their peers. In their opinion these relationships usually evolve in
two directions: consolidation, thanks to sympathy and understanding of these children’s
situations, or coldness or tension, because of the envy of their material conditions. In the opinion
of teachers and other community members, envy is more frequent.

45
 “I think their colleagues protect and support them.” (A teacher)

“…unfortunately, they are the object of people's envy.” (DDEYS)

“…children's relationships are dominated by envy. The one who has something
starts mocking the one who doesn’t…and this creates many problems.” (A
medical worker)

“...on the one hand they have mobile telephones and expensive clothes…there is
envy, but on the other hand, people feel sorry for them because they are far from
their mothers; there’s no one they can share with and talk to, and it’s hard for
them to manage household responsibilities.” (A headmaster)

Some adults noticed that most children with parents working abroad restrict their friendships to
peers who are in a similar situation – a tendency more characteristic and noticeable among
adolescents. In the opinion of adults, this can be explained by the fact that these children share
the same concerns as well as the same improvement of their material status, and this makes them
feel superior to other children. The latter, in their turn, envy them their improved material
conditions and sometimes even hurt them, knowing that there is nobody they can turn to for help
or support. As a result, many children left without parental care want to give the impression that
they don’t face any problems. Teachers and headmasters report that these are determining factors
that make these two groups of children come into conflict.

“…we can talk about grouping; they begin grouping themselves, sharing either
a positive or a negative interest. This phenomenon is not often seen in the 5th -
6th forms, but in the 8th - 9th it is seen quite often. In the 10th, 11th, and 12th
forms they are mostly on their own.” (A headmaster)

“…they are united generally in material matters: ‘let's go to the bar or

somewhere’…” (local NGO member)

“…they consider themselves members of the local elite. Children living with
their parents are considered people of low social rank and there is hatred
between them… the same situation characterises the adults.” (A medical
worker)

“At the disco they have their circle of friends and detest the others.” (A
headmaster)

“They show they are superior in relationships with colleagues.” (DDEYS:

representatives of the District Department of Education, Children and Sports)

“…fights…it sometimes happens. They say, ‘He pushed him.’ Of course he

knows nobody will stand up for him because his father is abroad.” (LPA: A
representative of a local public administration)

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 “…those living with parents know that if a conflict occurs…‘my daddy will
come to school, but in your case only your mother [will come].’” (DCW: A
participant in the data consultation workshop)

It was observed that children don’t always consider their favourable financial situation as an
advantage. A consultation workshop participant asserted that children with parents abroad also
envy their peers, especially their free time and their lack of household responsibilities. These are
things they can't enjoy. Children in a good financial situation are sometimes accepted by people
or in different groups quite easily, especially because they can buy whatever they want.

“When I meet someone living with their parents they always speak about what
they saw on TV, about homework, about what they ate, what they did, with
whom they played and how they spent their leisure time.” (DCW: A participant
in the data consultation workshop)

“…it is well known that parents will send them money and they won't be in
need of anything, thus friends are always with them.” (A teacher)

“Rather often people take advantage of those having money, but when there is
no more money they are usually isolated and forgotten.” (DCW)

Consultation workshop participants mention that pocket money facilitates children's access to
various services and this determines differences in ways they spend their free time. Children with
parents abroad form their circles of friends because they have a lot in common: emotional
experiences, interests, discussion topics, household concerns, and their ways of enjoying leisure.
Often, because they go through quite different experiences, they cannot talk about these things
with peers who live with their parents.

“They have nothing in common. Children living with their parents…don’t have
as many problems as the others. When I meet my friend, whose parents are also
abroad, we speak about how difficult life is without our parents, but sometimes
this life can also be pleasant.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation
workshop)

“It is self-isolation from children living with their parents because of their
financial situation; children with parents abroad have more money: ‘Let’s have
lunch in town.’ ‘I can’t afford something like that,’ is often the response of the
child living with his or her parents. Maybe a child with parents can say yes
once, but those with parents abroad do it almost every day. It’s easier for them
to go out and have a meal instead of cooking at home for two hours.” (DCW)

“…they have their own interests, their circle of friends, they celebrate their
birthday parties at home, they get together at someone’s place, listening to
music, watching I don’t know what kind of video tapes. Sometimes they form
alliances… I can't say whether it’s good or bad – I don’t know.” (A headmaster)

47
Numerous members of the community involved (medical workers, local NGO representatives,
teachers) and local public administration representatives asserted that the group formed by
children with parents abroad often exhibit socially undesirable behaviour, like drug abuse, an
exaggerated interest in various forms of entertainment, school abandonment, precocious sexual
relationships and delinquent behaviour. Adults explained this phenomenon by the lack of control
over these children's behaviour from parents and caregivers, as well as by the fact that they have
at their disposal free access to financial resources. Participants in the data consultation workshop
mentioned that children’s desire to be noticed in the social environment, combined with their
vulnerability, make some of them adhere to groups with bad reputations. Similar situations were
reported both by headmasters and teachers.

“They want to be noticed, but it does not always happen in groups of good
teenagers.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“These children usually form their own circle… and being influenced by the
rules of the street, they obey a programme of education that suits only them.” (A
local NGO member)

“Children in our suburb, for instance, don’t aspire to anything; they don’t fear
their parents or God and they aren’t concerned about their education.” (A local
NGO member)

“Some of them become thieves or there are other problems. They think they are
free to do anything…” (A medical worker)

“…they stay out till late at night, they talk and you can hear shouts and other
things… Girls fall in love earlier and boys reach maturity faster. [They use]
cigarettes and alcohol, they have money, they are free…” (A medical worker)

“There are cases where they cause us trouble…they feel independent, they have
money and they get involved in negative things: smoking, drinking alcohol…
they want to prove they are heroes and take part in robberies. The police had to
deal with such a case”. (A headmaster)

“…some are manipulated by other adolescents.” (A headmaster)

“They become spoilt, they go to bars and have contact with adults who are…I
would say offenders.” (DDSAFP: A representative of the District Department of
Social Assistance and Family Protection)

“…most of them abuse alcohol, they sometimes steal, they run away from their
homes and don’t obey to their grandparents. I can say we lose these children.”
(DDEYS: A representatives of the District Department of Education, Children
and Sports)

Some of the children consulted claim that the isolation brought on by worries and other emotions
causes some children with parents abroad to become indifferent to group activities. Most of the

48
children participating in the study consider that they have an average ability to participate
effectively in a group of their peers. In one community, children from both age categories, with
parents abroad, estimated that they had a high level of ability in this area, whereas in another
community, children between 10 and 14 living with their parents placed this ability at a low level
of development. Taking into account the different experiences of these communities in the area
of participation, the results lead us to believe that both interactive methods and children’s
participation in different community activities develop their social interaction abilities. Within
the consultation workshop the idea was expressed that the main condition for children's
participation in group activities is based on the existence of a “common interest or purpose.”

“They refuse to get involved in group activities. We notice an isolation; not

complete, but an isolation. About 2 – 3 persons.” (DCW: A participant in the
data consultation workshop)

“When we approach the subject of parents they leave; they feel the need to
isolate themselves.” (DCW)

“…they are distant and don’t get involved because of the longing for their
parents and all these feelings. They want to become members of our groups, but
they must be helped by other children, too. There must be a strong connection
between these two categories of children.” (DCW)

5.6.The effects of parents’ migration on their children’s education

Assessing the school activities of children left without parental care was not among the
research’s aims. Nevertheless, we cannot neglect this aspect because it was identified as being
one of the children's biggest daily preoccupations, especially school attendance, homework, and
marks.

“I want to do well at school and get good marks.” (Gr. III)

“School is our greatest concern because we spend most of our time at school.”
(Gr. II)

Similar responses were recorded in all the groups of children included in the two age categories.
The difference becomes significant when comparing the frequency of responses that contained
concerns about school given by children aged 10-14 from the study’s subject group and those
from the comparison group. Despite the fact that children with parents working abroad are
preoccupied mostly with school, it was noticed to a lesser extent than with children from the
comparison group. This difference is insignificant in children between 15 and 17.

Having good results at the end of the term represents an important concern for children in
secondary school. Because the workshop was held on the eve of their examinations, this concern
was even more evident.

“I have to prepare for my exams and get good mark”. (Gr. II)

49
 “We are very concerned about school now because at this time we have to take
a lot of tests”. (Gr. IV)

Analysing the effects of their parents’ departure, children notice two types of changes in their
school performance. The decline in school performance is associated by some children with the
lack of parental support and encouragement. On the other hand, improvement in performance at
school is due to children's will to reward their parents’ efforts or to meet their requirements.

“My father used to make me read; now there is nobody to help me.” (Gr. I)

“My school performance is better because they are working hard there for me.”
(Gr. I)

“I am studying better now, and I want them to be proud of me when they come
back.” (Gr. I)

In the opinion of the consultation workshop participants, parental supervision and presence is
very important at an early age when children are learning to study on their own. They consider
that too long an absence from parents makes it difficult for children to realize the usefulness of
studying; it also leads to the refusal of children to accept their parents’ subsequent criticisms
with regard to their school performance.

“My mother didn’t teach me anything since I was in the 6th form because she
was absent; I am now in the 12th form and it is too late.” (DCW: A participant in
the data consultation workshop)

Most children consulted mentioned that, after their parents’ departure, their school proficiency
diminished. They consider that children left without supervision are not able to manage their
freedom, don’t resist temptations such as entertainment and peer pressure and spend little time
on homework.

“It’s difficult to stay home and study when you’re alone and friends invite you,
'Come out!’ And nobody is there to stop you from going. Why not?” (DCW: A
participant in the data consultation workshop)

Most adults think that with parents’ departure abroad children’s school competence declines.
Children are less motivated to get good results, convinced that education does not ensure a
prosperous future. In some adults’ opinion, the same attitude is held by many parents, for whom
a high school diploma is more important than the actual quality of the studies.

“A parent says: ‘You must get your diploma, the marks don’t matter.’”
(DDEYS: A representatives of the District Department of Education, Children
and Sports)

Failing to fulfil educational requirements is explained as being the result of a lack of parental
supervision, stimulation, and monitoring. At the same time, caregivers are not always able to

50
check the school performance of children in their care. Some teachers claim that children's
school efficiency diminishes in cases where both parents go abroad, but if the child stays with
one parent his school success does not suffer any changes. Adults also assert that in some cases
after the parents’ departure children have poor school attendance and even become disobedient.

“Some children don't do their homework. Adults don't look after them.” (A teacher

“Their school performance is going down. Grandparents and aunts provide them
with food and clothes. In the majority of cases the material aspect is taken care
of. But their successes at school... it’s hard for an old person to look after a
child.” (LPA: A representative of a local public administration)

Adults also notice that after the parents’ departure children are too busy with household chores
that become their daily duties and therefore they have little time for their studies.

The poor school outcomes of children with parents working abroad are also associated by adults
with the children’s confidence that money will allow them to pay for their university studies and
that it is not necessary for them to make the effort to meet educational requirements. Some adults
express the opinion that many children envisage joining their parents abroad after leaving school
and don't see the need to study.

“Children say: ‘Why should I study?’ For instance, his parents had a poor
school performance and now they are in Italy and they are wealthier than those
who received good marks and stayed in the country.’” (A local NGO member)

“...more precisely his motivation decreases because the financial motivation

prevails: having money is important.” (A headmaster)

Caregivers think that the school performance of children left in their care did not change after the
parents’ departure. On the contrary, they believe that children are motivated to study because the
goal of the parents is to provide them with a better future. Teachers share the same idea,
confirming that some children become more responsible in completing their homework.

“Their parents went abroad to offer them a better future so they should be hard-
working.” (A caregiver)

One of the main risks children face after their parents’ departure is dropping out of school. Some
adults claimed it is important for these children to be supported in order to prevent them from
discontinuing their studies. At the same time, most teachers and adults noted that there were no
cases of children with parents abroad dropping out of school.

“The risk of dropping out of school goes up. It all begins with the fact that the
child left without care is late for school because he or she forgot to set the alarm
clock and then..” (DDEYS: A representatives of the District Department of
Education, Children and Sports)

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 “There haven’t been any recorded cases of children in this category leaving
school.” (A teacher)

The representative of the Ministry of Health and Social Protection of the Family mentioned that
in cases of children leaving school early, local social workers take action immediately to bring
the child back to school. In the opinion of the representative of the International Organisation for
Migration, city and school officials are responsible for identifying children who do not attend
school and reintegrating them into the educational system, as well as determining their particular
needs. The representative of the Ministry of Internal Affairs asserted that the parents’ absence or
the lack of legal representatives for children make it difficult to haul somebody over the coals for
not respecting his or her parental obligations in cases of children dropping out of school.

“...there is nobody we can sue or bring to justice for neglecting their parental
responsibilities.” (MIA: representative of the Ministry of Internal Affairs)

Relationships with teachers and their attitude toward and support for children left without
parental care represent an important aspect of school life. Teachers claim that they have the same
attitude towards children with parents abroad and children living with their parents. Adults from
the community share the same point of view.

“…there is no difference in teachers’ attitudes towards children living separately

from their parents and those living with their parents.” (A teacher)

According to the data obtained by the study, academic performance constitutes for most teachers
the main criterion for assessing children’s personal values. If the pupil shows good academic
results, as a rule, the teacher is not interested in the other aspects of his life, even if he is
experiencing problems. But if the school performance of children with parents working abroad
declines, some teachers associate this fact with an improved material situation, the expensive
clothes, telephones and computers the children have.

“…when bad things happen, teachers start asking themselves, ‘If these children
are better clothed and they can afford to buy different things like mobile phones,
why don’t they want to learn’?” (A headmaster)

Consultation workshop participants mentioned that teachers do not always manage to identify the
problems faced by children left without parental care. This happens because children hide the
difficulties they face in order to avoid becoming the subject for discussions among community
members, and also to prevent their parents from learning about their problems. At the same time,
in the opinion of children consulted, there would be better communication between children and
teachers if the latter had more psychological experience and were available to approach delicate
subjects that are of great importance to children, connected with their physical and emotional
development.

“…some children behave more formally with adults because they don’t want the
latter to discuss them or tell their parents bad things about them.” (DCW: A
participant in the data consultation workshop)

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 “Teachers are the only people children can share with and consult with on
delicate subjects.” (DCW)

Some adults think children do not tend to speak openly with teachers. The image of an
authoritarian teacher promoted by schools and society make children reserved, and they don’t
perceive teachers as partners in discussions about private problems.

“We teachers are willing to discuss things with them, to make them be honest
with us, to give them advice, but we are still strangers to them. The teacher in
our school is an authoritarian who ‘makes me study, behave well, teaches me to
be polite,’ etc. We can't give him that which only his parents are able to give.”
(A headmaster)

“We teachers talk to them in private about their situation. But on their own
initiative they don’t tell us their problems.” (A teacher)

Other adults, by contrast, claim that children solicit the help of their teachers when they need it.
Openness to children’s problems and a friendly attitude are the main features that determine
whether or not children ask for some teachers’ support.

“When they have a problem, children generally talk to their teachers about it;
they don’t come to the Town Hall,” (LPA: A representative of a local public
administration)

“Children are willing to share only with teachers who are good communicators,
who understand them and are reliable.” (UNICEF)

At the same time, most of the representatives of the educational system assert that the school,
through its teachers and form teachers, does try to compensate for the lack of parents. School
workers understand the delicate situation in which these children find themselves; they
sympathise with them, communicate with them, pay special attention to their emotional state and
encourage them to overcome difficult times. In some localities, elementary school children with
parents abroad benefit from greater attention from their teachers.

“Teachers are the first to notice changes in children’s behaviour after their
parents’ departure; they try to talk to them in private.” (A headmaster)

“…sometimes we also accomplish this role; we get close to them, discuss things
with them and even caress them. We try to fill the gap created in their souls by
their parents’ departure.” (A teacher)

“The headmaster requires that form teachers take care of these children,
especially those in the 1st – 4th forms. They are given a lot of attention, they are
called upon more frequently, and even during breaks teachers spend time with
them.” (LPA: A representative of a local public administration)

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Some adults believe that teachers play an important role in supervising children, disciplining
them and finding solutions to conflicts among them. Nevertheless, some teachers mentioned that
their efforts to educate children left without parental care are insufficient in the absence of
similar actions from the parents’ side. The latter, unfortunately, very seldom tell the school
administration about their decision to go abroad.

“Teachers are the first to notice various changes in these children because they
spend six hours a day in their company.” (A medical worker)

“As long as they are at school it is fine because they are supervised by
teachers…but when they meet in the street or elsewhere, huge conflicts occur.”
(A medical worker)

“…school workers and form teachers talk to them, but in spite of our efforts, we
cannot succeed. Only parents are able to control their behaviour and that’s the
big problem.” (A headmaster)

Teachers who have experience in care-giving report that their colleagues have conflicting
attitudes towards children left without parental care: both envy and sympathy. Some teachers
envy these children for the improved material situation they have after their parents’ departure.
This feeling is amplified by the fact that they are entirely responsible for the educational process
of the migrants’ children during their parents’ absence. Thus, their work increases, but their
remuneration remains the same. On the other hand, parents working abroad have higher incomes
than those of the teachers and are not concerned about their children left at home. As a
consequence, some teachers feel deeply wronged and they take revenge on the children, not
giving them the opportunity to demonstrate their abilities or, on the contrary, asking secretly for
“rewards” for the attention and marks the children receive.

“Teachers’ attitudes towards these children can be qualified both as envy of the
goods they possess and sympathy for the situation they are in – their parents’
absence, household chores...” (A headmaster)

“There are cases when children are reproached, ‘your mother earns money
abroad and I am supposed to take care of you now.’” (A teacher)

In some cases, unwillingly, teachers create states of envy between children living with their
parents and those with parents abroad. The latter, having various resources at their disposal,
including personal computers, manage to meet their teachers’ requirements to a greater extent
than children living with their parents.

“…when we ask them to accomplish a task using the computer we notice a

feeling of envy.” (A teacher)

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 5.7. Children’s resources
Independent living brings about changes in children’s sphere of knowledge and abilities. Many
confronted certain situations like cooking, budgeting, looking after younger siblings, making
everyday decisions connected with the household, and allocating time for the first time. This
chapter presents some of the resources that children with at least one parent abroad have at their
disposal in order to cope with the situations they confront. The results refer to the knowledge and
abilities children develop as well as to the people whom they ask for support.

Children’s internal resources

None of the groups of children involved in the study placed independence among the qualities
they had developed to a high degree. Younger children living with their parents, as well as
adolescents with parents abroad, consider that they have average ability to deal independently
with different situations. At the same time, children between the ages of 15 and 18 living with
their parents and younger children with parents abroad place this ability at a lower level.

In the same context, the children consulted asserted that the degree of competence concerning
the independent management of their freedom can depend on the age at which children are left
without parental care. If the separation from their parents occurs when adolescents require
greater autonomy from their parents, their chances of success are very high. At the same time,
older children living with their parents feel overprotected and need more freedom in order to
assert themselves. Living apart from their parents at an early age can be very difficult for the
great majority of children because they are not ready to be on their own.

Some adults express the idea that the way in which children manage to deal independently with
situations and problems depends more on the education they get than on the age at which they
are left alone. At the same time, very few respondents share the view that these children possess
the necessary experience and knowledge to face the difficulties of independent life. Most adults
doubt the ability of these children, claiming that they are able to cope only if they are left “in the
hands of a good person,” which means in the care of their relatives. Representatives of
international organisations mention that family and school traditions do not pay enough attention
to the development of an independent young generation.

“Those coming from a good family possess some life skills like taking care of
themselves and fulfilling certain household activities.” (IOM)

“.... it depends entirely on the education that the child received before his or her
parents left.” (MEYS: A representative of the Ministry of Education, Children
and Sports)

“Our schools do not prepare children for real life. It gives them the opportunity
to become academicians and physicians, but too much theory is taught with very
little attention to practical knowledge.” (UNICEF)

55
Increases in household chores

In the opinion of the representative of the National Council for the Protection of Children’s
Rights (NCCRP), when living without one or both parents children really “become more
independent and this is a beneficial process.” But taking into account all the other difficulties
children confront, it must be stated that the absence of their parents usually results in the children
being beset with various overwhelming duties and this represents a serious obstacle to their
harmonious development. It was found that after their parents’ departure most children
participating in the study got involved more actively in household chores. In both age groups,
children with at least one parent abroad are more frequently engaged than their peers in the
responsibilities they received after their parents’ departure.

“To tidy the rooms.” (Gr. I)

“To help my granny around the house.” (Gr. I)

“To feed the animals.”(Gr. II)

“I go shopping every day.” (Gr. II)

Children with parents abroad deal with a series of problems and “several responsibilities;” quite
often they have to fulfil duties that are not appropriate for their age. Many reach maturity
precociously and unwillingly. Children participating in the evaluation workshop also considered
that circumstances require that children assume responsibilities intrinsic to the adult world.

“Their thoughts are focused on the family; they do not waste time and are
responsible for the administration of the family budget.” (DCW: A participant in
the data consultation workshop)

“Becoming mature at age 12 is a tragedy for a child.” (DCW)

The roles of children with at least one parent abroad are different from those of children in the
comparison group. In the case of the latter, as they mentioned, responsibilities are distributed
among family members; therefore, they have distinct roles. As a rule, the father plays a key role
and he is seen as the leader or the head of the family because he earns the money, he
accomplishes the most difficult tasks, and he has the vital role in the decision-making process.
The mother is responsible for household chores and takes care of the children. The latter must
study, help their parents, and take care of their younger siblings.

“I have a family of three members: My mother is responsible for the cooking

and cleaning, my father goes to work, and I must attend school and do my
homework.” (Gr. III)

“I usually help Mummy and my brother helps Daddy.” (Gr. III)

“My mother is a housewife, my father has a job, and I take care of my younger
sisters.” (Gr. IV)

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Only a few of the children left without parental care mentioned that taking over adult
responsibilities made them become mature faster, enabling them to develop abilities that they
would need and use in adult life. Children 15 to 18 years old were the ones who appreciate this
situation. The comments made by some younger children indicate that participation in new
activities gives them a newfound feeling of usefulness, whereas other children assume these roles
with resignation. Some children asserted that they had less free time and too little time for
entertainment. Several teachers from a locality involved in the study shared the same idea.

“I became mature: I do the laundry, the cleaning and turn the soil in the garden.”
(Gr. I)

“I took over all the difficult tasks from my parents. I matured faster, but that's
good.” (Gr. I)

“We mature much faster.” (Gr. II)

“We try to adapt ourselves to the changes; we become more independent and it
will be useful in the future.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation
workshop)

“I became more responsible and I help my granny.” (Gr. I)

“I have more tasks now; I don’t have time for entertainment.” (Gr. II)

“I don't have so much time as before; I gave up some of my hobbies.” (Gr. II)

Adults expressed different opinions concerning the extent to which children with parents
working abroad are involved in household chores. Some teachers and medical workers
mentioned that most of these children fulfil “adult” duties like cooking, chopping firewood,
feeding the animals and working in the field. School managers and certain teachers associated
the poor academic performance, tiredness, absenteeism, and lack of motivation to study that they
observed in some children with parents abroad with the fact that they are usually overloaded with
household responsibilities. The same idea can be found in the comments made by children in the
15 to 18 age group living without their parents. They mentioned more frequently than any other
participants that they lack sufficient time for doing homework.

“... they do work more ... at the age when they should play and have fun.” (A
medical worker)

“... a pupil who was very tired during class told me, ‘I’m sick and tired of
accomplishing adult duties. I must do my job as well as my mother’s and
sometimes I can’t manage to prepare for the lessons.’” (A teacher)

“Children ask why one of their schoolmates didn’t come to school and are told
that it was because he had a lot of work at home.” (A headmaster)

57
On the other hand, caregivers claim that children’s activities are the same as the ones they had
when they used to live with their parents. At the same time, some caregivers mention that they
involve children in various household activities in order to fill their free time and avoid possible
undesirable activities. Some of the caregivers interviewed asserted that children’s help was very
useful to maintain the house.

“They weed their own field and then mine.” (A caregiver)

“... he must be always busy because if you don't keep an eye on him, at his age...
He must be supervised until he is in the 6th form.” (A caregiver)

“... they are very hard-working; they work very fast.” (A caregiver)

Participants in the consultation workshop asserted that generally the number of household
activities accomplished by children increased. “When the mother was at home the child used to
tidy his or her room, but now there are other duties he or she is responsible for like housework
and school and other things.” Children also added that they can negotiate about certain activities
with their parents whereas they cannot with caregivers.

After their parents’ departure, besides household chores, children have to do those jobs that their
parents did: take care of their younger sisters and brothers. Some adults, as well as consultation
workshop participants, asserted that this responsibility constitutes a huge challenge for many of
these children. On the other hand, in some teachers’ views, fulfilling such duties is beneficial to
girls because they learn how to become “good wives and mothers.”

“... I help my younger brother with his homework.” (Gr. I)

“She has to become a mother for her younger brother and sister...” (A teacher)

“The girl said: ‘It’s not enough that I don’t have a mother when I need her, but I
have two brothers who exhaust me.’” (DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

“...the child with parents abroad knows that he must come home early and do
household chores, cook. If he has a younger brother or a sister he has to take
care of them and help them with their homework...” (A teacher)

Children from both age groups with at least one parent abroad, as well as those 10 to 14 years old
living with parents at home assert that they are quite able to do household chores. At the same
time, children’s physical work is a normal phenomenon in rural localities; therefore, such
activities did not constitute a radical change in their lives. According to the representative of the
National Council for the Protection of Children’s Rights (NCCRP) and some medical workers
and school managers, “Children from rural localities are much more independent than children
from cities;” therefore, when a parent leaves they adapt more easily and succeed in
accomplishing household activities. But unfortunately, the amount of work often increases too
much and they do not manage to cope with the situation they find themselves in.

58
Managing the family budget

Children participating in the study expressed very different opinions about their ability to
manage the family budget. In all the localities, children mentioned all levels (low, average, high)
of development of such a skill. Taking into account the fact that even children living with their
parents have little ability to manage money, we can suppose that most of the children left without
parental care are not capable of dealing with such an activity right after their parents’ departure.
During the consultation workshop, the idea was expressed that in most cases, children learn to
manage the money they get from their parents gradually, from their own experience. At the same
time, it was mentioned that some children try to save their parents’ remittances in order to spend
the money together when they come back.

It was observed that in the great majority of cases caregivers play the key role in the
administration of money sent home by parents. Caregivers assert that when it is possible, they
provide children, with money for various school and entertainment expenses. Certain
respondents mentioned that it is very important for children to develop a sense of respect for the
money earned by their parents.

“He tells me what he plans to spend the money on, but he doesn't have free
access to the money sent by his parents. They can’t send money every week and
I tell him to spend sensibly.” (A caregiver)

All the categories of adults interviewed asserted that, as a rule, most children with parents abroad
have more pocket money than their peers. Some teachers consider that children should not be
given all the money sent by their parents because they might spend it irresponsibly. Thus, when
caregivers provide them with regular, small amounts they “develop their sense of responsibility.”
Only teachers from one locality affirmed that, as a rule, children manage the money that they
receive “correctly” because they value their parents’ work.

In the view of adults from the communities involved in the research, children with at least one
parent abroad spend the money they get from their parents in bars, nightclubs and Internet cafes.
They buy sweets, fast food, more expensive clothes than those of their peers, and mobile
telephones.

Representatives of local and central public administrations shared the view that children lack the
ability to manage the money they have. In the opinion of the UNICEF representative, the lack of
a tradition “to discuss financial management within the family” and to approach this topic in
school is the main cause of children’s inadequate and unsatisfactory competence in this field.

The dangers of access to money

According to several respondents, among them caregivers, headmasters, and representatives of

local and central public administrations, when children lack leisure opportunities, their inability
to manage money can lead to dangers such as alcohol consumption, withdrawal from school and
a distortion of values. Local NGO representatives expressed the opinion that absent parents who
provide children with money and various material goods use this as an attempt to compensate for

59
their absence. Some schoolteachers and administrators consider that parents working abroad
should invest more in their children’s education and less in material things. The idea that money
coming from abroad should be invested in Moldova was also expressed during the data
consultation workshop. This could guarantee a decent living in our country for the migrants’
families.

“When they reach adolescence, some boys begin consuming alcohol and
tobacco, instead of spending the money on something else.” (A headmaster)

“... they begin worshipping money and expensive clothes ... parents are
responsible for the fact that money becomes everything for them.” (DDSAFP: A
representative of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family
Protection)

“Sometimes, children who receive money from migrant parents drop out of
school because they taste the pleasures of entertainment and a wealthy
lifestyle.” (MEYS: A representative of the Ministry of Education, Children and
Sports)

After their parents' departure, most children find themselves in the situation where they have to
decide how to spend their leisure time. It was observed that the majority of children left without
parental care value, to some degree, the acquisition of this ability. In two localities, children
between the ages of 15 and 18 living with their parents said that they did not develop this skill
well enough. In the opinion of the consultation workshop participants, children living without
parental care are obliged to organise their time in order to accomplish all the necessary activities,
among which are household duties, supervising and taking care of younger siblings and
preparing for classes. This explains their “strict rhythm” and the fact that sometimes they lack
free time. One of the children consulted, having experienced a separation from his parents, said
that he felt frustrated at not being able to enjoy as much leisure as his peers who live with their
parents.

“I’m angry and I don't want to hear something like this, ‘Is it fair? You
entertained yourself, while I was working until 5 p.m.’” (DCW: A participant in
the data consultation workshop)

At the same time, among the concerns reported by the participants in the study, those connected
with managing leisure time have an important place in the hierarchy of children's
preoccupations, regardless of their age. Another concern was the lack of opportunities for
spending free time in their communities.

In one of the localities, some teachers mentioned that most children were helped by parents to
organise their leisure and that they were “well co-ordinated.” Others shared the view that in
organising their time, children favour household and school activities to the detriment of free
time.

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 “I know young girls who, after graduating from the 9th form, don’t go to the
disco because they study for their lessons.” (A teacher)

“... maybe they sacrifice part of their free time to do their chores.” (A teacher)

In the opinion of a local NGO representative, children who are not being supervised by their
parents adopt an undesirable lifestyle. They “become free” because they are not able to organise
their time efficiently and they are not systematically involved in school and household activities.

Children in all the groups participating in the study mentioned that they possessed enough
knowledge concerning a healthy lifestyle, including damage to their health caused by smoking
and using alcohol as well as the danger of HIV/AIDS. At the same time, some admitted that
many adolescents do smoke and abuse alcohol. Children consulted asserted that most children
and adolescents are well informed in this area, but nevertheless they do not respect these
principles. The lack of strict supervision from adults, the lack of opportunities to spend their free
time, as well as peer pressure are circumstances that cause children to adopt behaviour that is
detrimental to their health, despite the fact that they are aware of the dangers.

In spite of an average level of abilities and attitudes in the area of communication, children
consulted, especially adolescents, mentioned that they notice a number of deficiencies in their
relationships with their peers in this area.

Children between the ages of 15 and 18 from the comparison group in two localities asserted that
they could not solve their conflicts peacefully. Consulting workshop participants mentioned that
their generation “is too impulsive, energetic and quick,” hence, sometimes they prove to be
aggressive in relationships.

In the opinion of children consulted, among the qualities all children and adolescents should
develop are: tolerating suggestions from others, as well as the ability to hold on to your own
opinions regardless of the pressure coming from other people. Despite the fact that they seem
contradictory, these skills can help children become more confident in their relationships with
others.

Social resources

According to the study in the three localities involved, children living with their parents feel
more secure from any form of violence and neglect. On the other hand, in almost all the cases of
children left without parental care, these children said that as a rule they find it difficult to ask for
support when they need it. In only one locality did most children affirm that they had developed
the ability to ask for help from others when they need it. In another locality, only children with
parents abroad recognised they had such ability. In the third community, children consider that
they are able to manage this skill to an average degree.

At the same time, consultation workshop participants considered that most children left without
parental care experience certain difficulties and that there is no one they can ask for help or
advice because they do not have a reliable person close to them. As mentioned above, children
who constituted the study’s subject group have difficulty establishing relationships of trust with

61
people other than their parents. When they need help they prefer talking to their parents, and if
this is not possible they appeal for help to caregivers, to people recommended by their parents, or
to friends and colleagues. In difficult situations many adolescents refuse to ask other people for
advice. Perhaps this tendency can be explained by their desire to become independent, whereas
asking for help to them means showing weakness. As a result, these children rarely ask their
teachers for help. Some of the consultation workshop participants mentioned that some teachers
had refused to help them, despite the fact that previously the teachers had promised to provide
them support as often as needed.

“Many teenagers don’t trust anybody. They rely on their own abilities.” (DCW:
A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“You must be sure that the person you ask for help is ‘a capable one’... if they
are not competent, or if they are old, I refuse to talk to them.” (DCW)

According to the representative of the National Council for the Protection of Children’s Rights
(NCCRP), it is very important that children appeal for help to the people around them who are
willing to provide them with the necessary support because if they do not, “the situation can
worsen.” According to the same respondent, the way in which children choose the people they
ask for help depends on their age. Younger children are more likely to appeal to ‘people close to
them – relatives, neighbours.’ For older children, the credibility of the person matters more.
Therefore, in order to prevent children, including those with at least one parent abroad, from
going through unpleasant, risky situations, it is extremely important that the community provides
a person who can monitor the situation and send children to experts who can provide them
qualified support.

Representatives of local NGOs and UNICEF consider that children ask for help from their peers
more frequently. One of the UNICEF representatives mentioned that, as a rule, most children and
adolescents ‘have little confidence’ in teachers and health services; therefore, they talk to their
friends and schoolmates about their problems. At the same time, respondents shared the view
that this source of help is not always the best one.

“The group they are part of provides them support when they need it.” (A local
NGO member)

“... I can hardly believe that within the gatherings they organise they open their
hearts to each other.” (A local NGO member)

“... children themselves say that first of all they appeal to their friends for help,
‘How can I solve this issue?’ If the person you ask for advice is a close friend
with experience and information, it’s wonderful, but quite often the advice is not
useful.” (UNICEF)

Caregivers claim they are the first source of help for the children they look after and in ‘difficult
situations’ they ‘consult’ the children’s parents. All the interviewed caregivers related that
situations in which children asked for their help usually involved the need for money for school
and entertainment activities.

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 “I’m always there for them and when they need something they talk to me. As
long as I can …” (A caregiver)

Most teachers say that when children with parents abroad need help they come to them, as well
as to relatives and friends. In the opinion of headmasters, as a rule, children appeal to their
parents for help. In their turn the latter ask caregivers or teachers to solve the issue. Children also
ask their teachers for help because ‘they are closer to them.’

“The form master is the first person children go to for help, or other teachers,
caregivers, grandparents and even parents – talking to them over the phone.” (A
headmaster)

Medical workers, as well as representatives of local and central authorities, said that they had not
received requests from children with parents abroad. In their opinion, these children talk more
frequently to their relatives and teachers about their problems.

”Children usually ask their relatives for help, not us... we did not record such
cases...” (A medical worker)

“... quite often the form teacher becomes like a parent for them... ” (DDSAFP: A
representative of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family
Protection)

“They don't come to us for help; we identify them through the Town Hall, the
school or their neighbours. Children seldom ask us for help.” (MEYS: A
representative of the Ministry of Education, Children and Sports)

5.8. Children’s participation

In this study only one element of children's participation was tackled; that is, whether or not
children express their opinion and whether or not it is taken into account by adults during the
decision-making process that affects the child. Nevertheless, during the data collection,
participants referred to other elements connected with children’s opportunities to participate as
well as to their parents’ readiness to support their participation.

The communities included in the study are regions that have differing experiences in children's
participation. Two of them have traditions of children's involvement at school and at the
community level while the other has no experience of projects relating to children’s
participation.

Participation within the family

The opinions of children between the ages of 10 and 14 who live with their parents influence
family decisions to a greater extent than the opinions of those left without parental care. We get

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quite a different picture with children between the ages of 15 and 17; those who have parents
working abroad have a greater influence on the decisions affecting them.

Some of the children between the ages of 10 and 14 living with their parents mentioned that in
their families the opinions of each member are taken into account when making a decision.

“My parents listen to my point of view when reaching a decision and they even
take it into account.” (Gr. III)

At the same time, several children from the same age group claimed that even if they are asked
to express their opinion it is not taken into account. This happens because parents don’t think
their children are ready to influence the decisions affecting them. And there are also children
who believe that their participation is not necessary in all areas.

“Parents rarely take our opinions into account. They’re not important. Only in
certain situations do our opinions count.” (Gr.III)

“They’re seldom interested in hearing our opinions; they often say we’re not
enough old to participate in the process of making family decisions.” (Gr.III)

“I don’t think children really have to be aware of all family problems or even
problems concerning themselves.” (Gr.III)

Children between the ages of 10 and 14 with one or both parents working abroad considered that
their opinion influences family decisions insignificantly because this is a parent’s exclusive
prerogative. They know what is best for their children. At the same time, some children said they
are consulted when problems concerning them are under discussion.

“In families, decisions are made by grown-ups and parents.” (Gr.I)

“We’re small; our opinions are often wrong.” (Gr.I)

“Parents only explain the reasons. Even if they ask the children’s opinion they
ignore it.” (Gr.I)

“When they want to buy something for us, they always ask us to accompany
them.” (Gr.I)

At the age of 15 to 17, some children living with their parents participate in the family decision-
making process. They feel that their parents treat them as their equals and that it is fair to take
their opinions into account. But others say they are only consulted about problems that directly
affect them.

“Parents can’t make decisions for us.” (Gr. IV)

“Grown-ups take our opinion into account when they realize we are their
future.” (Gr. IV)

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 “They don’t consult us about adult problems. We are [only] allowed to express
ourselves on childish matters.” (Gr. IV)

Children of 15 to 17, with one or both parents working abroad, are active family decision-
makers. Both children and teachers share this view. The oldest child in the family enjoys the
privilege of being consulted first, and his opinion is taken seriously into account.

“Parents always consult me about what I want them to buy me.” (Gr. II)

“The opinion of the oldest child is taken into account by parents; they consult
with him.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“Yes, they participate, deciding on how to spend money. They are very
involved.” (A teacher)

Most children, however, are not consulted about problems connected with their parents’
departure. Even if children are asked to express their opinion, it isn’t taken into account because
the parents think they know what is better for their children. Some grown-ups say children agree
from the very beginning with the departure of their parents because they realise it’s in their own
interest.

“Parents decide where and when to go. The child’s opinion doesn’t count.”
(DDEYS: A representatives of the District Department of Education, Children
and Sports)

“...when the matter is under discussion children are aware of their parents’
plans, but I can’t say that the children’s opinion is decisive.” (NCCRP: A
representative of the National Council for the Protection of Children’s Rights)

“There are cases where children are asked if they agree or not. Nevertheless,
children realize their parents have to go abroad to make money and offer them a
better future.” (A teacher)

In very rare cases does a child's opinion change their parent’s decision or influence it to a great
extent.

“I wanted both my parents to go abroad in order to prevent my family from

breaking tearing apart. But it would have been easier for me if one of them had
stayed at home.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“... I know concrete cases when one parent gave in to the child's demands.”
(NCCRP: A representative of the National Council for the Protection of
Children’s Rights)

“Sometimes when children don’t agree, their parents don’t leave. But mostly
their opinion is not taken into account.” (A medical worker)

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Sometimes parents only explain to their children the reasons for their going abroad, other times
they discuss their responsibilities with them. Grownups say older children accept the decision
more easily because they are involved more frequently in such discussions, and as a result, they
understand better all aspects of the separation from children.

“They used to discuss such things, especially with teenagers.” (A teacher)

“Parents usually prepare their children emotionally, telling them what to do.” (A
teacher)

In order to justify the need to go abroad, some parents promise their children material goods or a
decent future as compensation for their absence. Both parents and other grownups think children
joyfully approve their decision in such circumstances. At the same time, most children deny
accepting such bribes in exchange for their parents’ departure.

“Seeing that his standard of living improves, that he has clothes and food and all
he needs, the child can't say that it hadn’t been the right decision.” (A teacher)

“Even if the child doesn’t agree, his parents bribe him with arguments like,
‘We’ll make a lot of money, we'll buy a beautiful house, clothes, etc.’” (IOM)

“It’s hard for me to say that most children only approve of their parents’
decision to go abroad in order to get sweets or to improve their standard of
living.” (NCCRP: A representative of the National Council for the Protection of
Children’s Rights)

In some cases, parents postpone the discussion about going abroad until the day before their
departure, as they don’t feel ready to face their children’s disapproval. But children consider it
important to be told beforehand about their parents’ plans, the period of time they will be gone,
and the reasons for the departure, even if their opinion is not taken into account.

“Fearing they won't be understood by children, parents tackle the subject only a
couple of days before the departure.”(DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

“Parents share their decision with children in the last moment. Children's
opinions aren’t taken into consideration. (DDSAFP: A representative of the
District Department of Social Assistance and Family Protection)

“I think parents announce the decision to go abroad to children when all the
required documents have already been concluded. They are told they will have
to stay home alone and they are given some basic instructions.” (UNICEF)

Children’s opinions matter more when choosing a caregiver. But quite often there aren’t many
choices available and the child has to comply with the parents' decision.

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 “Children should be consulted about who is going to take care of them after
their parents departure, but it doesn’t often happen this way.” (LPA: A
representative of a local public administration)

“Some parents don’t explain the reasons for their departure to their children,
they just tell them they will have to stay with granny or with an aunt.” (NCCRP)

“What can a child say after Mother and Father have already made up their
minds?” (A caregiver)

“Teenagers are consulted, but children – no.” (A teacher)

“Parents discuss this problem with children and they are interested in
participating.” (A teacher)

During their parents’ absence, along with freedom, some children get more opportunities to
express themselves; they become more self-assertive. They manage their resources, including
their leisure time, and they get involved in various activities even without their parents'
permission.

“Without their parents, children have greater opportunities to express

themselves.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

In some cases, the child's opinion is ignored in the caregiver's family; in other cases, thanks to
the caregiver's high sense of responsibility, the child’s opinion counts even more than it did in
his own family. Consultation workshop participants asserted that the child's emotional state,
caused by the parents’ departure, makes him indifferent to the decision-making process in the
caregiver's family, even if he is asked to express his views.

“In the caregiver's family the child's opinion counts even less. On the other
hand, he doesn’t want to get involved.” (DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

“A mother understands you if you choose to do homework instead of working

around the house. A caregiver will never accept that. Every day after classes
you are supposed to do some work around the house and if you don’t…”
(DCW)

“Living without your parents is one thing, add to this living in a strange house
and you get real stress.” (DCW)

When several brothers are being taken care of by a relative, the elder brother's opinion matters a
lot. He is the family’s representative in relations with the relatives and other community
members.

Whether the child's opinion is respected or not in the caregiver’s family depends entirely on his
personality. Children get involved easily in the family decision-making process when they live in

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their own home. They rarely participate in this process when they live in a caregiver's family. At
the same time, if the child loses the caregiver's confidence, he becomes subject to stricter
controls.

“It depends on the age and malleability of grandparents, because a

temperamental child won't be able to live with old, conservative grandparents.”
(DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“It’s easier when they look after you but don’t share the same house. You show
them you respect their rules, but at your place you can do whatever you like.”
(DCW)

“If you lose the caregiver's confidence, you will be kept under close supervision
and they will complain to your parents about everything you do.” (DCW)

“... older grandparents are less likely to ask for the child's opinion.” (UNICEF)

Participation in school and out-of-school activities

Both for children with parents at home and for those with parents working abroad, involvement
in school affairs is deficient. There is no tradition of children’s real participation in school
management in the Republic of Moldova. In some schools children’s self-governing bodies have
been registered, but these represent purely decorative forms of participation. At the same time,
most teachers from communities providing data to this study perceive the phenomenon of
children’s participation as their involvement in out-of-school activities, organised by adults.

“... our school doesn’t solicit either children’s or their parents’ opinions in the
education and school governing processes.” (UNICEF)

“There is a pupils’ Council in our school. Its members participate in school

assemblies. In terms of participation in Council assemblies, there is no
difference between children living with their parents and children with parents
working abroad.” (A teacher)

Children living with their parents get involved in out-of-school activities more frequently than
those with parents abroad. In the opinion of consultation workshop participants, for some
children living with their parents these projects represent a way of self-expression because they
lack such opportunities within their families.

“Children living with their parents have a more developed sense of

participation.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“Children living with their parents are more protected and many of their
problems are solved by their parents. Participation in seminars and other
activities comes from a desire to prove to their parents that they are reliable and
capable of making decisions.” (DCW)

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On the other hand, in other communities, both categories of children get involved equally in out-
of-school activities.

“There isn’t such a difference in our lyceum.” (DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

“Those who get involved in out-of-school activities do it gladly and enjoy it.
There is no difference between children living with their parents and children
whose parents are abroad.” (A teacher)

The high level of participation among children living with their parents is determined by the fact
that they are less involved in household activities and more encouraged by their parents. Others
try to prove to their parents that they are independent and reliable because they want their parents
to trust them. On the other hand, children with parents working abroad are forced by their
circumstances to develop abilities of self-government.

“The will and the opportunity for children living with their parents to get
involved in activities are greater than for children with parents working abroad –
they have much more leisure time and they are encouraged by their parents.”
(DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“Children want to prove to their parents that they are clever and skilful and they
want their parents to trust them. This is the only way their parents will allow
them to further their education.” (DCW)

“We don’t try to prove we are responsible in order to get their confidence, we
have to do it through force of circumstances.” (DCW)

At the same time, some children living with their parents take part in activities, not on their own
initiative, but because they are obliged to by parents, who think such activities are important for
their children. Some children appreciate and consider such an approach from parents to be
necessary. We should also mention that for some parents the active participation of children in
out-of-school activities is a way to promote a special image of their family in the community,
since this is a unanimously accepted value. In other cases, parents don’t approve of such
activities and it's up to the child to convince them of their advantages.

“There are shy people, like me, who need a push from their parents. I think it’s
very important to be backed up by your parents and I don’t consider it negative
if they make me get involved.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation
workshop)

“Children frequent out-of-school activities, but they don’t do it willingly; they

are forced by their parents.” (DCW)

“If parents don’t agree, children know how to persuade them.” (DCW)

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It's hard to involve children with parents working abroad in out-of-school activities because they
are weighed down by adult household responsibilities and overwhelmed by new emotional
problems connected with their parents’ departure.

“I like playing football, but I don’t have enough time for it.” (Gr. II)

“If their parents work abroad, children aren’t interested in out-of-school

activities; they have to solve personal and household problems.” (DCW)

Participation at the community level

The community offers children very few activities in which they can get involved. And the ones
that exist do not serve children’s needs or interests. Children consider interesting and useful the
activities organised and managed by themselves.

“There aren’t many activities we can get involved in, except at school and
home.” (Gr. II)

“If we want to have fun, we need to organise our own out-of-school activities.”
(Gr. III)

“The Town Hall deals with rural problems; our problems aren’t of interest to
them. There are no programmes for children.” (DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

“Teenagers want to take part in activities, but there are few opportunities for
them.” (UNICEF)
“I think children are eager to participate, but conditions are inadequate. If there
is a specialised body in the community, they become involved willingly, but if
not.... Sometimes children create groups themselves.” (NCCRP – A
representative of the National Council for the Protection of Children’s Rights)

Children would like to establish a successful relationship with the Town Hall within the
framework of developed projects. But the local administration is not always receptive to
children’s problems and requests. Nevertheless, in some children’s opinions, when they insist,
the local administration gives in and supports certain projects.

“When we want to set up a project, the Town Hall should act as a partner.” (Gr.
I)

“If we don’t insist, we get nothing. We ask them several times until we manage
to persuade them.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

In general, at the community level, the opinions of 10 to 14-year-old children are not taken into
account by grownups, regardless of what they are. However, the data obtained revealed that the
opinions of children with parents working abroad are taken into consideration to a greater extent
than those of children living with their parents. Some children from the first category consider

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they should be consulted by grownups when making decisions affecting them, insisting on the
importance of children’s participation from an early age. This helps them develop life skills.

“This is how they raise us, we grow up and they still tell us we aren’t capable
of making decisions on our own. Later we will be afraid to make up our minds
concerning more serious matters.” (Gr. III)

“When they organise an activity, we should be consulted beforehand to find

out if we like it.” (Gr. I)

The opinions of 15 to 17-year-old children have greater importance in the decisions made by
adults at the community level than the opinion of children between the ages of 10 and 14. In the
communities with traditions of children’s participation, children with parents working abroad say
that adults consult them more frequently than children living with their parents. At the same
time, some children living with their parents think their opinions matter to their parents more
than they do to other grownups.

“Before doing something for the youngsters, they usually consult us.” (Gr. IV)

“Sometimes they ask for our opinion, but more often it’s our parents who are
interested in our opinions, not other people.” (Gr. IV)

Local Children’s Councils (LYC) are efficient in the promotion of children’s rights. Through
LYC, children can make suggestions to improve their situation in school. According to the data
provided by the National Children’s Resource Centre, a third of the membership of youth
councils has one or both parents working abroad.

“LYC protects our rights and makes suggestions about how to improve
children’s situation in school.” (Gr. III)

“Many of these children are both volunteers and LYC members.” (A

headmaster)

“...both the [LYC] mayor’s parents are in France and the deputy mayor’s parents are in
Portugal…” (A teacher)

5.9. Aspirations for the future

“... they are children and they can have a future only if their parents are with them.” (DCW: A
participant in the data consultation workshop)

Children with parents working abroad associate their future with life in a foreign country to a
greater extent than their peers who live with their parents. A frequent aspiration in this sense is
the desire for family reintegration through joining parents abroad rather than through their return
home. Children from the comparison group have the idea of going abroad more rarely; it is most
often expressed by participants between the ages of 15 and 18. The latter associate life abroad

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with education and professional development, whereas for other children it means, to a great
extent, a good material situation.

All categories of adults interviewed, as well as participants in the data consultation workshops,
expressed the opinion that most children and adolescents envisage leaving their homeland in the
near future. Some adults think this is also true for children and adolescents whose parents live
and work in Moldova. The respondents explained this by pointing to the children's awareness of
the lack of job opportunities in the Republic of Moldova, both for them and their parents.
Nevertheless it was observed among both age groups in the study, children living with their
parents are not aware of their job or career opportunities, whereas children with parents abroad
proved to be more confident in this regard.

UNICEF representative mentioned that for many children this situation represents “a dilemma”
because they “are connected to this country and they do not want to leave.” At the same time,
there are situations where migrant parents take their children to the country of migration and this,
in people's opinions, represents an example of success. Children aspire to high standards of
living, but their parents’ experiences are proof that such a dream is impossible in our country,
especially in rural communities. This explains why most children are eager to leave their
localities, either by going abroad or to by going to other localities in Moldova where they can
succeed. The most attractive options are the cities, especially the capital. Only certain caregivers
and teachers noticed children tend to be aware of the difficulties their parents face abroad;
therefore, they prefer not to repeat that experience or would accept only “the more prestigious
jobs.”

“I would like to work abroad because wages are high there.” (Gr. III)

“I see myself working in Chiúinău or abroad. There are no job opportunities for
children here.” (Gr. IV)

“I won’t be able to find a job here and I will have to go abroad like my parents
did.” (Gr. I)

“I want to emigrate; I don’t see any opportunities here.” (Gr. II)

“They want to lead a wealthy life and further their education.” (A teacher)
“Seventy percent of children don’t see themselves working in their homeland in
the future; they want to join their parents abroad.” (DDSAFP: A representative
of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family Protection)

“In many cases, parents settle in a foreign country and take their children with
them.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“Their mother told them that she would take them abroad with her.” (A
caregiver)

“Some children dream of going abroad and their parents look for a job for
them.” (A teacher)

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 “I don’t think children see their future in their homeland, and this is rather sad.”
(UNICEF)

Teachers, some local public administration representatives, and medical workers think that going
abroad is an attractive idea for children from many perspectives. For some it is a way to pursue
their education, for others, after graduation, it is a chance to get a job. Some choose this
opportunity after they get married and need a place to live.

“... after marriage not all the families have enough money to build a house or
acquire an apartment in the city. Their only way to solve this problem is by
going abroad.” (A teacher)

“Many go abroad to further their education, even pupils in the 4th, 5th, 6th
forms...” (LPA: A representative of a local public administration)

“Many choose to go abroad because of low salaries, especially for young

workers. They also want to start families, improve their conditions and leave our
country even if they graduated from the University or Academy.” (A medical
worker)

“... their departure abroad gives them the possibility to earn money and create a
family.” (A medical worker)

It was ascertained that many children, regardless of their family conditions, hope to pursue an
education. Most children opt to go to the University, but they don’t specify how they can achieve
this goal. According to the adults interviewed, all children want to study and count on their
parents’ financial support. To what extent this aspiration will be realized depends not so much on
academic performance as on the parents’ ability to support their children financially. The great
majority of children without parental care have the conviction that a certain amount of money
can guarantee their education in a higher education institution or a technical college, which
represents the main cause of the decline in their school performance. This means that children
with good academic performance, but with parents working in Moldova, have few chances to go
to the University because they cannot afford it. In some caregivers’ opinions, children accept to
be deprived of parental care and to go through all the difficulties caused by this situation because
they understand that higher education requires huge sums of money.

“In Moldova you need money to succeed because there are others who study
very well, but don’t succeed.” (A caregiver)

“These children dream of higher education; they know that everything is

available for money and that their parents will provide them the necessary
money.” (A headmaster)

“Children say: ‘Why should I study? My parents who had a bad school
performance are now in Italy and are wealthier than those who did well at
school, but stayed in the country.’” (A local NGO member)

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 “...in many cases they are not good at studying; their parents promise them that
they will give them money to go to University ...” (DDSAFP: A representative
of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family Protection)

“Children who often miss classes usually don’t pursue education after the 9th
form and their only possibility is to go abroad.” (DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

“... they have to make an effort; they have to work harder than children with
parents abroad.” (A teacher)

During the consultation workshop it was noticed that children’s chances to continue their
education depend on whether they live with their parents or have parents abroad, the latter
children’s chances being higher. Participants expressed the idea that some children choose the
faculty at the University according to their parents’ financial conditions, without taking into
account their own abilities and the labour market requirements.

“... some choose the faculty according to the money their parents have.” (DCW:
a participant in the data consultation workshop)

It was observed that most children living with their parents usually aspire to specific professions,
regardless of the prestige of the profession: “teacher,” “doctor,” “lawyer,” “designer,” “actor,”
“programmer,” “shop-assistant,” etc. The ideas for the future of children with parents abroad
refer less to the professions they would like to go into and more to the countries they would like
to live in. Many of these children opt for jobs that would guarantee benefits, while others value
professional development.

“I want to become a fire-fighter and work in Chiúinău.” (Gr. III)

“My plan for the future is to set up a football centre after graduation.” (Gr. III)

“... an oncologist at the Republican Hospital in Chiúinău.” (Gr. IV)

“I want to study at the Technical University and be a mechanic.” (Gr. IV)

“I want to be a shop-assistant; I like to be in direct contact with people.” (Gr.

IV)

“I want to have a house on the beach and a boat.” (Gr. I)

“...to own a supermarket.” (Gr. I)

“I would like to have a villa in Miami, lots of money and a Ferrari.” (Gr.II)

“The most important is thing to have a lot of Euros.” (Gr.II)

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 “My dream is to own a restaurant, a hotel, to have lots of money and a Porsche.”
(Gr.II)

In some teachers’ opinions, children with parents abroad are more optimistic about the future
than their peers, even if they don't always have a clear image of how it will be. One of the
teachers interviewed reported that many of the children in the 9th form with at least one parent
abroad had a vague idea about what they would do after graduation. At the same time, children
who were consulted mentioned that it would be more difficult to fulfil these dreams, due to the
lack of a concrete plan for future.

“They will be sustained in the near future; they are sure they will enter a
University, they will pay the University fee, but what will they do later?” (A
teacher)

“Children living with their parents think of starting a career, while others have
only ‘money’ on their mind... they don't have a concrete plan. All they do is
dream about material goods, cars, villas and restaurants.” (DCW: A participant
in the data consultation workshop)

Teachers, central public administration representatives, and representatives from international

organisations said that in spite of children’s desires to pursue higher education, regardless of
their family conditions, they were not sure they could start a career in Moldova. The high rate of
unemployment in the Republic of Moldova, low wages that cannot ensure an adequate standard
of living and a great number of people with higher education among those migrating abroad are
circumstances that increase children’s tendencies to go abroad. This is most apparent when
parents with experience abroad encourage their children to embrace the idea of going to a foreign
country. The study’s results reveal that parents’ main reason for going abroad is to obtain
financial resources to ensure both a decent living and educational opportunities for their children.
However, with time, the situation can change and many adults wish to reintegrate their family in
the country to which they migrated. Children consulted report cases where adults return after
their material conditions have improved, but they are soon forced to leave again because they fail
to integrate both socially and professionally.

“....they join their parents abroad; even the university graduates can't get a job.”
(A teacher)

“... seeing that adults don’t have jobs in the rural areas, children embrace the
same idea from an early age, and the majority of them end up going abroad.”
(MIA: representative of the Ministry of Internal Affairs)

“It is obvious now that education has no value for children because a University
degree doesn’t always guarantee a job.” (UNICEF)
“Parents do their best so that their children can join them abroad; they look for a
job for them and encourage them not to study.” (DCW: A participant in the data
consultation workshop)

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Children from both groups included in the study expressed the wish to see their locality prosper
in the future, with a highly developed infrastructure, with institutions providing services of
quality, and with an active social and cultural life. For children living with their parents, this idea
comes to their minds most often. This can be explained by the fact that their future is tied to a
greater extent to their homeland. The other children affirmed that improvements in the
community life represent one of the necessary conditions for their return in their locality after
graduation. Most adults interviewed consider that it is very unlikely that children will come back
to their native communities. On the other hand, in the locality with an experience of participation
by children and adolescents, regardless of family conditions, it was found that people consider
themselves to be active citizens who care about the future of their locality and who show their
intention to improve its current situation.

“Our village will be new and modernised, with improved public services.” (Gr.
III)

“New blocks of flats will be built in our locality.” (Gr. III)

“It will become a locality where all the rules are respected, with many beautiful
things like museums and fountains.” (Gr. III)

“I will set up a Children’s Rights Centre where children can appeal for help and
their opinions will matter.” (Gr.III)

“I will repair the roads.” (Gr. I)

“The future of our village depends entirely on us, the young generation.” (Gr. I)

“I want to build a new school in our village. And there will be a summer camp
for children. ” (Gr. II)

“Those who go abroad should do something for our locality on their return. If I
go to a foreign country, I will come back to my homeland to use the experience
I gained.” (Gr. II)

The group of children who constituted the subject of this study referred most frequently to their
families when speaking about their future plans. This is due to the experience of separation from
their parents which has made them think deeply about the importance of family. Young children
envisaged the future of their family of origin, expressing the wish to live with all its members
and have very close relationships with them. Elder children represented the family they would
start in the future and referred to the quality of their relationships, the number of children they
would have, free time management in the family, their importance of material welfare, and
decent living conditions.

“My dream is to see my parents back home and to live together again as a
family.” (Gr.I)

“I want to have a family with two children.” (Gr. II)

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 “... to spend my free time with my family.” (Gr. II)

“You cannot get married without good material foundations and if you didn’t
graduate.” (Gr. II)

Almost all the adults said that most children with parents working abroad don’t have the
opportunity to observe the prototype of the working family and examples of the roles played by
its members. At the same time, the respondents considered that the way in which children’s
relationships within the family will evolve depends on each person. In some teachers’ opinions,
some children perceive the model of the life and relationships they know from experience as
normal. As a result, there is a risk that they may apply it to their own future families. According
to some categories of adults and participants in the consultation workshops, the experience of
separation from their parents is makes children protect their own families from the sufferings
they are facing; therefore, they “will tend to prevent their children from going through the same
problems.” Children consulted also asserted that the great majority of adolescents are aware of
the responsibilities of starting a family.

“... they think it’s normal and it’s supposed to be this way.” (A teacher)

“... they could become selfish and refuse to share love with others. They didn’t
feel parental love and care when they needed it. But it can also be vice versa.
They learn from experience. It’s a matter of individual cases.” (A headmaster)

“... if the boy hasn’t seen his father doing household chores, he won’t be able to
do them. It’s the same with girls.” (A headmaster)

“... as parents they will not leave their children. They are suffering, they are
going through these unpleasant moments, and they will probably not abandon
their own children. They know from experience what life without parents and
parental advice means.” (A teacher)

“They wouldn’t like their children to be deprived of what they were deprived of
in their childhood. But, instinctively, they will follow their parents’ examples.”
(A teacher)

“One should understand that a family is not a house, but the relationships
between its members, and if the child doesn’t have a good example of a family
he will behave in the same way in his own family.” (A teacher)

“... some really get this impression and they live for ‘tomorrow;’ they will
become adults and they will go abroad seeking a better life. But life is complex
and a parent’s departure arouses a feeling of protest in some children, thus they
say they will not act like this with their own children.” (NCCRP: A
representative of the National Council for the Protection of Children’s Rights)

“They are not eager to start families; it’s a huge responsibility, especially when
a child arrives.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

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 5.10. Policies and services for children left without parental care
Within the framework of this study, we intended to examine public administration polices and
services as well as those of other social agencies targeting children left without parental care.
During the data collection and analysis it was found that such policies and services are either not
developed or do not exist; therefore, we decided to include in this chapter descriptions of polices
and services that focus on all community children, even if these were not originally created for
the protection of migrants’ children. We also thought it would be important to present the
respondents’ opinions on the services needed by migrants’ children, even though some of these
ideas can be found in the chapter, Recommendations.

National policies and services

Ministry of Education, Children and Sports (MEYS)

According to a MEYS representative, migrants’ children are not included in the category of
disadvantaged children who benefit from special attention from the State, unless they are not left
in the care of a relative or are in a financially precarious position.

The first national-level data concerning the conditions of migrants’ children were collected in
2004-2005. The extent of the phenomenon of migration abroad inspired MEYS to charge deputy
headmasters and form masters with monitoring the situation of children left without parental
care.

MEYS promotes the policy of children’s education within families, even if the latter are not their
natural families; therefore, migrating parents’ requests to leave their children in residential
institutions are rejected. On the contrary, parents are encouraged to grant someone the
guardianship of their children. In such cases, children do not benefit from a state allowance.

In collaboration with NGOs working in this field, MEYS has developed a number of school
projects aimed at preventing migration and human trafficking. Beginning in September 2005,
schools have offered an optional course in “Life skills” designed to help children face life
challenges.

District Department of Education, Children and Sports (DDEYS)

At the level of the DDEYS, the child protection inspector is responsible for at-risk children.
Representatives of this department say that the position of children left without parental care has
not been investigated and the information they possess is mainly based on observations and
discussions with teachers. Some DDEYS representatives consider that only orphan children and
children from socially disadvantaged families need attention, but that migrants’ children do not
constitute a deprived category because they are materially cared for.

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With regard to State policy, some teachers affirm that they do not know if there is legislation on
migrants’ children at a national level, while adults expressed their certainty that the State had
not elaborated concrete strategies in this field and, moreover, that it had begun to approach the
migration phenomenon only in 2005.

Ministry of Health and Social Protection of the Family (MHSPF)

In accordance with the National Strategy on Child and Family Protection, district and local
councils are obliged to develop local strategies on child protection. In the great majority of cases
these strategies are lacking, and the provision of humanitarian aid is the only concrete action
taken regarding child protection. In the view of the MHSPF representative, migrants’ children
incur the risk of quitting school; therefore, social assistants in the field pay a great deal of
attention to these children at the start of the new school year, aiming to integrate all children into
the educational system. Children from disadvantaged families are provided with material aid in
the form of school supplies and free school lunches from local funds for population support.

MHSPF does not have information about children left without parental care; this is stored at the
District Department of Social Assistance and Family Protection (DDSAFP) by each expert
individually. The MHSPF representative does not consider guardianship as the best solution for
migrants’ children. If the child can be brought up by a single parent or by his or her relatives, the
involvement of a stranger as guardian is not necessary. In some cases, an accepted alternative
could be professional maternal assistance, which unfortunately is not sufficiently developed in
Moldova.

As a result of the implementation of compulsory medical insurance, the state assumed

responsibility to insure all children up to 18 years of age. Thus, medical assistance for children is
free, regardless of whether they live with their parents or are left without parental care.

MHSPF supports the foundation of community centres, financed by the Fund for Social
Investments of Moldova. Social assistants are the resource persons in these communities. They
identify the services that are required and elaborate the design and strategy of the community
centres. In the opinion of the MHSPF representative, the community centres provide special
educational services for children experiencing difficulties in school.

In the views of its representatives, DDSAFP cooperates with Town Halls, District Departments
of Education, Children and Sports, and with the police in order to identify children who are in a
precarious position. At the caregivers’ requests, DDSAFP supplies humanitarian aid to migrants’
children whose parents do not send money for their sustenance.

Ministry of Internal Affairs (MIA)

According to the reports of the MIA representative, migrants’ children do not constitute a
defined target group for prevention activities organised by local departments of MIA.
Nevertheless, local inspectors are obliged to pay special attention to children left without

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parental care, as well as to organise activities aimed at informing the public of their legal rights,
including educational classes in schools.

UNICEF Office in the Republic of Moldova

The policies of the UNICEF Office in the Republic of Moldova aim to create a favourable and
secure environment for each child. The fulfilment of the right to a family, the right to an
education of quality, and the right to protection and participation represent the priorities of this
body concerning children left without parental care.

The UNICEF Office collaborates in this regard with the government and civil society on the
improvement and implementation of legislation and policies regarding children and adolescents.
The encouragement of projects to promote children’s includes, as a main goal, the development
of a human resources network, including Children’s Centres, which can provide quality services
such as information, consultation, medical assistance and leisure, especially for disadvantaged
children.

In promoting services that sustain the family, including the extended family, UNICEF highlights
the importance of a child’s education within the family. Leaving the child in the care of a
residential institution represents an extreme and undesirable solution to the problem of child
protection; therefore, UNICEF, in collaboration with the Ministry of Education, Children and
Sports, is taking concrete actions to improve the residential care system, especially to reduce the
numbers of children in these institutions and prevent parents from leaving children in them.

Local policies and services

Schools
According to the data obtained in this study, the services most solicited by children in the
communities involved in the research are those provided by the school. Both children living with
their parents and children with parents working abroad shared this opinion. The importance of
school is explained by its compulsory character, but also by the fact that children spend most of
their time at school. In this regard, participants in the consultation workshop mentioned the
importance of the quality of services provided by schools.

“Children spend most of their time at school; therefore, the school psychologist
has a great responsibility.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation
workshop)

“When children are in trouble they talk to their teachers first; they don’t come to
the Town Hall for help.” (LPA: A representative of a local public
administration)

Nevertheless, migrants’ children proved to be less interested in the quality of school services
than children living with their parents. The latter are preoccupied to a greater extent with issues
concerning the necessary equipment and information in schools, the practical applications of

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knowledge, teachers’ qualifications, the prevention of teachers’ migration, as well as ensuring a
means of transport from distant localities to school.

“We need more computers, for all the children.” (Gr. III)

“The books in our library are pretty old; we need more books.” (Gr. III)

“We don’t want teachers to leave us and go abroad.” (Gr. III)

Children explained the importance of school by the fact that it offers them the opportunity to
study, exchange information, and get ready for adult life. Some children appreciate the
opportunity to interact both with their peers and their teachers and to benefit from their support.
The subject “Life Skills” is considered by some teachers and children as an effective solution to
the lack of education and the lack of migrant parents’ support.

“School educates us; it helps us to create our personality and to get knowledge.”
(Gr. III)

“We are encouraged and supported by our classmates, older school friends and
teachers.” (Gr. III)

“For instance, these subjects about life skills…. School prepares them for school
instead of their parents.” (A teacher)

In the opinion of some UNICEF representatives, school does not prepare children to face the
everyday risks and challenges of life, focusing more on providing knowledge than on developing
abilities to become independent. Moreover, some teachers do not have the psychological
experience and the necessary attitude to satisfy the needs of children left without parental care
for communication and support. Some teachers said that the migration of their qualified
colleagues affects the quality of services provided by school.

At the school level, deputy headmasters are responsible for the records of children left without
parental care. In some schools the council of teachers make the decision to charge form masters
with the monitoring of children left without parental care and the provision of necessary
emotional support. On the other hand, some school managers assert that, in spite of teachers’
discussions about the conditions of migrants' children, no decision was taken about them.

Primary pupils and children from socially vulnerable families have the free lunches at school.
Some teachers claim that some migrants’ children benefit from this service, even if they are
generally not considered a deprived category.

Psychological services in schools are highly appreciated by children for their availability to
provide consultation and support, especially on personal issues. And children who did not enjoy
this service in their schools expressed the wish to institute it, mentioning the importance of a
psychologist to protect children from abuse and neglect. In the opinion of participants in the
consultation workshop, the psychologist’s age and proficiency have an important impact on the
quality of his or her services, as well as on the number of children they see because children

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prefer to talk to a young psychologist who is receptive to their problems. The MEYS
representative shares this view, claiming that only a competent psychologist could solve the
problem of lack of communication affecting children, and many Moldovan schools do not
provide such an indispensable service. According to MEYS, the lack of financial resources
makes it difficult for headmasters to ensure the presence of a psychologist in each school and
nursery school.

“At school we benefit from a psychologist’s services; he gives us advice and

guides us.” (Gr. III)

“Only a psychologist who knows how to communicate with a child could meet
this need.” (MEYS)

Extracurricular activities organised by schools are also highly appreciated by children, as they
represent one of the few ways of managing children’s free time within the community. At the
same time, some children are not satisfied with the quality and diversity of these services, and
they mention that the activities organised by their peers serve their needs and interests to a
greater extent.

“We need other out-of-school activities that would help pupils overcome
shyness.” (Gr. I)

“Children can participate only in activities we organise for them at school.” (A

teacher)

According to school administrators, education institutions are currently experiencing a number of

financial problems and this does not allow them to organise more out-of-school activities. At the
same time, they mention that schools would be able to take care of the education of children left
without parental care if the local public administration agreed to finance extracurricular
activities, including paying for the services of a person hired to deal with children in a vulnerable
situation.

“Teachers are not paid for extracurricular activities.” (A headmaster)

In the opinion of many adults, most out-of-school activities provided for children do not
correspond to their interests and needs and are not that effective either in terms of the subjects
addressed or the information technologies used. Nevertheless, some caregivers appreciate the
effort of educational institutions to involve children in various extracurricular activities.

“Children would like things like computers, the Internet, some up-to-date
equipment, but we can [only] offer them activities like wickerwork, crochet or
woodwork and metalwork, which do not interest our children.” (UNICEF)

“The activities offered are not attractive; they are old-fashioned.” (A

headmaster)

“They study tai-kwon-do and organise parties at school.” (A caregiver)

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During the data collection workshops, the statement, “At school, the attitude towards all children
is the same” registered the lowest rating with all categories of children (3.35 points out of a
possible total of 5). Thus, even if certain children assert that teachers treat all children equally,
regardless of age and whether they have parents working abroad or not, these results point to the
existence of some discriminatory attitudes of teachers.

In the opinions of children, their material conditions influence their teachers' attitudes towards
them to a great extent. In some cases migrants’ children are favoured by teachers, who receive in
exchange rewards from the parents. Some children consider that teachers have a better attitude
towards children who wear expensive new clothes. Children’s behaviours and academic
performances can also be reasons for teachers’ unequal attitudes towards them. And there are
cases where teachers label children.

“Children who have money get good marks, because their parents come and
solve their problems.” (Gr. IV)

“Teachers judge you by your clothes.” (Gr. II)

“Teachers’ attitudes depend on children’s behaviour and school performance.”

(Gr. III)

The nursery school was mentioned as a community service only by children living with their
parents. They appreciate it because it gives adults the opportunity to leave small children in the
care of educators while they are at work.

The Town Hall

The Town Hall is one of the institutions most frequently mentioned by children. It was ranked
second after school for the support it provides to both children living with their parents and
children with parents working abroad.

At the same time, children’s opinions in this regard are divided. Some asserted that the Town
Hall supports some of their activities connected with free time management and participation of
sports teams in various competitions. Others claimed that they do not benefit from any support
and, moreover, when solicited, the Town Hall does not react in any way or signals its refusal by
the lack of financial resources. The latter share the idea that the Town Hall focuses only on rural
problems and on those of deprived families. Teachers have the same view and mentioned the
humanitarian aid that is provided by the Town Hall to children from socially disadvantaged
families. Some children highlighted the role of the Town Hall in the protection of their security,
especially concerning violent conflicts.

“It sponsors the basketball team of the lyceum.” (Gr.I)

“There are electricity problems in our classroom; we asked the mayor for help,
but there was no response.” (Gr.IV)

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 “The mayor helps the school and people in the village, but children get very
little help from him.” (Gr.I

“When clashes break out at school or at the disco, everybody is afraid of the
Town Hall representatives who, together with the police, decide how to punish
the brawlers.” (Gr.III)

The local public administration from the communities involved in the study did not take any
decisions about the conditions of migrants’ children. According to some teachers, decisions
concerning certain children are taken only when the latter adopt undesirable behaviour or face
financial problems, but migrants’ children do not belong to any of the socially vulnerable
categories.

Participants in the data consultation workshop consider that the Town Hall and implicitly its
social assistance sector do not elaborate concrete programmes for children left without parental
care because they do not consider them to be at risk. At the community level, social assistance
representatives put their efforts into working with the elderly, with socially deprived families and
with orphaned or disabled children. In the opinion of the children consulted, there is not
sufficient media coverage of the social assistants’ services in the community, and in many cases
the latter is not trained to work with children and adolescents.

“These children are not considered disadvantaged, so they do not benefit from
social assistance.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“Social assistance is associated with the elderly; it lacks transparency.” (DCW)

Representatives of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family Social Protection
(DDSAFSP) assert that the lack of financial resources explains the lack of a social assistant in
each Town Hall. His or her responsibility, in the community enjoying such services, is to provide
psychological support for children left without parental care and to discuss ways to improve
children's conditions with form teachers and even with migrant parents.

In certain communities, according to some local authorities, a Committee for Minors’ Problems
was set up. It consisted of the headmaster, the director of the nursery school, the inspector for
juvenile offenders, and a deputy mayor. The Committee is charged with examining the behaviour
of children left without parental care, but it focuses mainly on those breaking the law.

Most caregivers involved in the study asserted that at the community level there are no concrete
services for children left without parental care, and if there are, children are not aware of their
existence. Moreover, some caregivers do not dare solicit the support of certain institutions or
persons.

“...perhaps there are specialised services, but I don't know anything about it.
Besides, I’m ashamed to ask for help.” (A caregiver)

According to teachers, the institution of guardianship contributes greatly to upholding the rights
of children left without parental care. Some caregivers assert that the local public administration

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allocates a certain sum of money if they agree to take on the guardianship of children they are
looking after, but it is insignificant (50 lei). Guardianship is established on the initiative, and
sometimes at the insistence, of the Town Hall or the school administration. Local administration
representatives said that only children whose parents do not send money receive allowances.

“All I will get is 50 lei for each child if I agree to take on guardianship.” (A
caregiver)

“...they are not accepted at school if nobody is responsible for them.” (A

caregiver)

Free time activities and entertainment

Children living with their parents are more interested in the free-time services the community
provides than are migrants’ children. But to a large extent, their interests focus on the same
categories of activities: visiting sports clubs and dance halls, taking part in various
extracurricular activities, and getting access to new information technologies.

“I want to go to the wrestling classes.” (Gr. III)

“I’m interested in computers and the Internet.” (Gr. III)

According to the data obtained during the study, all free-time opportunities in the community are
limited. In one locality, the statement “I have enough possibilities to spend my free time in the
community” had the same ratings for children between the ages of 10 and 14 from both groups,
whereas in the 15 to 18 age group, the rating obtained by migrants’ children is considerably
higher. On the other hand, in the last two communities, children with parents abroad have many
fewer opportunities to organise their free time compared to their peers living with their parents.
Children indicate this by mentioning the lack of activities that correspond to their interests, and
also because of the responsibilities they must accept after their parents’ departure, they enjoy less
free time. In the view of the UNICEF representative, “The lack of opportunities to manage free
time is one of the greatest problems of children in Moldova.”

“There are very few activities we can get involved in other than at school and
home.” (Gr. II)

“We have almost no free time.” (Gr. I)

In some communities, according to caregivers, children benefit from certain free time activities.
Yet they mentioned, at the same time, that the lack of material resources, including the low
salaries of the people responsible for organizing such activities, lead to their inefficiency and
disappearance. Some Town Hall representatives, teachers, and medical workers share the same
view, admitting that children are deprived of opportunities to spend their free time in the
community. In only a few cases do parents sponsor extracurricular activities attended by their
children.

“... sometimes children get together for parties whereas this used to be the job of
the school; this is how they entertain themselves.” (A caregiver)

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 “People organising these activities [in the past] had low salaries, but now
nobody wants to work for free.”(A caregiver)

“There is a library, but it offers very little choice because there are so few
books, and it doesn’t subscribe to any journals or magazines.” (A teacher)

Some teachers mentioned that the community offers sports clubs, dance halls, music and drama
schools, but they are more frequently attended by children from primary school. In their opinion,
children left without parental care attend these schools if their parents enrol them and pay all the
fees before going abroad. Not lacking financial resources, migrants' children have access to paid
leisure resources in neighbouring localities or districts, such as like the cinema, the Internet and
music school.

In the communities involved in the study, cultural centres organise most leisure activities. They
do not target migrants’ children, but provide services for all children, among which are dance
halls and sports clubs, libraries, concerts, cinema, and disco halls.

“We entertain ourselves in these clubs in the evening. At parties we meet new
friends, we participate in various activities. There are two dance halls and a
library to borrow books from.” (Gr. III)

In the children’s opinions, sports clubs and dance halls give them equal opportunities to interact
with their peers from different localities and to assert themselves, regardless of their age, school
performance or financial position. Some caregivers share this view, adding that these clubs help
children get support from their peers.

“All children can attend the sports clubs. We make no selection here.” (DCW: A
participant in the data consultation workshop)

“... they enjoy coming here; perhaps they feel differently as members of a
team.” (A caregiver)

As a rule, only adolescents are allowed to go to the disco in the cultural centre. Children are
dissatisfied with its physical aspect and lack of modern equipment, even if it is among the most
visited places. Some teachers, as well as caregivers, mention that they do not allow the children
they are taking care of, especially small ones and girls, to go to the disco in the cultural centre
because it is associated, in their opinion, with drug abuse and violent behaviour.

“Our disco is at school because only adolescents attend the one in the village.”
(Gr. III)

“It’s in deplorable condition (no heat); besides, it’s not organised more than
once a week.” (A teacher)

“... at 13 it's too early; I don't let them go.” (A caregiver)

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 “Girls living with their grandmothers do not attend parties because it’s not
allowed.” (A teacher)

Most children mentioned an urgent need to create, at the community level, a series of services
that would satisfy their free-time needs and interests. Some children claim that their participation
in the organisation and provision of these services would make the services more attractive.

“To entertain ourselves the way we want to, we have to organise our own out-
of-school activities.” (Gr. III)

“We need a hall to meet our friends...” (Gr. I)

“We want a sports club and a dance hall to be built.” (Gr. IV)

Children involved in the study mentioned that there are some community organisations or
initiative groups in their communities that approach social problems, but migrants’ children are
not direct beneficiaries of the activities organised by these centres. For example, there is an
education centre for pre-school children from socially disadvantaged families in one of the
communities involved in the research.

“There’s an NGO called “Smaranda” in our town that deals with ecological
issues. It helps keep our village clean.” (Gr. II)

“The association ‘Children's Rights’ developed a project connected with

environment pollution and several of us are volunteers.” (Gr. IV)

The children consulted and some representatives of the District Department of Education,
Children and Sports (DDEYS) said that there are community centres managed by local NGOs
in certain communities. These centres also focus on children without parental care, providing
several services for them under one roof. In spite of the fact that they are few in number,
interaction with peers, the use of interactive methods, and psychological support are the great
assets of these institutions, which make them very attractive to children and adolescents.
Representatives of the District Department of Social Assistance and Family Protection
(DDSAFP) said that such activities are developed mainly in district centres and less in rural
localities.

Medical institutions
Both migrants’ children and children living with their parents appreciate medical institutions for
the support they provide to children concerning health problems. Some children mentioned the
importance of medical workers’ informative visits to the schools. But some children consider
that the lack of necessary equipment and the migration of qualified medical workers diminish the
quality of services supplied by the medical centres and children’s confidence in them.

“We’re supported by medical workers who come to our secondary school and
give us lessons.” (Gr. IV)

“The hospital doesn’t have enough equipment to support us.” (Gr. IV)

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Participants in the consultation workshop, as well as some adults, said that most medical centres
do not provide special services for migrants’ children. Moreover, these places are, to a great
extent, not friendly towards children, especially because medical workers are not ready to work
with children; they do not have communication skills, they do not respect confidentiality, and
their services are paid. At the same time, children consulted are convinced that medical centres
should provide information services and psychological consultations.

“It’s not considered a friendly place to be; you go there when there is no other
alternative. Children are not treated with confidentiality. You have to pay for
medical services, despite the fact that they should be free.” (DCW: A participant
in the data consultation workshop)

“They should provide information services and psychological consultation.”

(DCW)

Teachers say that at the school level the medical assistant is able to provide only basic
emergency assistance for children. At the same time, all children benefit from a yearly medical
consultation with the participation of experts from the district medical centre. The lack of
material resources is considered by teachers to be the main reason for the low quality of the
medical services. According to some teachers, in spite of various resources offered by donors to
medical centres, benefits are not seen because the resources are not correctly managed.

Many children mentioned the importance of the services provided by the post office. Migrants’
children especially appreciated the opportunities it offers for regular communication with their
parents. Several children accomplish, through the post office, the duties connected with
household activities for which they are now responsible.

“Thanks to the post office we can send letters and call our parents. It helps us
keep in touch with them.” (Gr. II)

“Most of the bills are paid at the post office.” (Gr. I)

The police was mentioned, to the same extent, as a community service by both children living
with their parents and migrants’ children. Both groups have confidence in this institution and are
aware of its prerogatives connected with the provision of security at the community level. At the
same time, the police do not necessarily supervise children left without parental care unless they
disobey the law, according to their own reports and the reports of adults.

“The police take concrete measures against offenders, including small ones like
us.” (Gr. III)

“We appealed to the police when our house has been robbed.” (Gr. II)

“Policemen should protect us, increasing our security.” (Gr. IV)

The relationship of economic agents with the localities studied has several aspects. The majority
of the economic agents were created with funds obtained from abroad, but also in order to satisfy

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the needs for goods and services of migrants’ relatives, since a significant part of their incomes is
from remittances. Children consulted assert that economic agents are not eager to sustain
migrants’ children materially, not only because they do not consider them socially
disadvantaged, but also because they are not motivated by the tax system.

In several localities, the mass exodus of adults abroad resulted in the creation of regular bus
service to ensure a connection between migrants and their native localities. Thanks to these
services, migrants go abroad, send money and various industrial goods home, and receive
Moldovan goods. Teachers say they are tolerant of pupils who miss classes in order to get
parcels from their parents.

Children consulted consider that frequenting entertainment clubs (bars, discos) represents for
migrants’ children a way to spend their free time with friends, as well as to spend the money
received from parents. At the same time, adults do not have a positive attitude towards such
activities and they usually associate them with alcohol consumption. As a result, some children
refuse to attend such clubs in order not to become the butt of comments by other community
members. Local administration representatives assert that children are allowed to spend their
time in these clubs only until 11 p.m. According to teachers, in some localities the bars are the
only places where children can meet and interact.

“This is a place where children meet, not necessarily a place where they drink
alcohol.” (DCW: A participant in the data consultation workshop)

“The community has created a negative image of the bar; people prefer not to be
seen there.” (DCW)

The church was mentioned by some children as a community service and a place where they can
reflect and meditate in peace. Children living with their parents consider that the church provides
them moral support and helps them overcome difficult situations at school and within the family.
Migrants’ children also go to church, praying to God for the health of their parents and for good
exam results.

“...at church we pray to God for help at school and in the family.” (Gr. III)

“We pray for our parents who went abroad.” (Gr. II)

However, according to the children consulted, most children do not go to church. At the same
time, they explained the interest of migrants’ children in church by several factors. On the one
hand, after their parents’ departure, children become sad and isolated and the church gives them
spiritual wellbeing and solutions to the problems overwhelming them. On the other hand, these
children attend church services thanks to the advice of their religious grandparents, in whose care
they were left. In some communities priests use their sermons to urge parents not to go abroad.

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 5.11. Services that are needed at the community level
Talking about services they could benefit from at the community level, children living with their
parents proved to have more ideas than migrants’ children. This is explained by the fact that only
a few of the migrants’ children expect to continue living in their homeland and as a result they
are less interested in the development of any community services.

Thus children expressed their wish to create institutions that would facilitate their access to
information, including information about a healthy lifestyle, careers and family planning. In their
opinion, this would be possible if there were a computer centre providing Internet services and if
there were a local journal for children, printed and distributed regularly. Many children
mentioned the urgent need to provide schools with up-to-date, new equipment, including gyms
and sports clubs.

Several children living with their parents highlighted the importance of the development, at the,
of community-level institutions offering credit to the population for sustaining small businesses.

Caregivers underlined the need to organise community-level sports and cultural activities for
children left without parental care. Only certain caregivers expressed the need for material
support for people who have more than one child in their care.

Teachers and representatives of the District Department of Education, Children and Sports
(DDEYS) and the Ministry of Education, Children and Sports (MEYS) consider that migrants’
children need qualified psychological services in the schools. This could give them the
opportunity to express themselves and to receive consultation and advice concerning the
problems they face.

In the opinion of teachers, the availability of a young person at the community level responsible
for working with children and adolescents could increase the quantity and the quality of free-
time activities and entertainment organised for them.

Among national strategies for the protection of children left without parental care, teachers
mentioned first the prevention of parents’ migration through the creation of new jobs and
increased salaries. At the same time, teachers consider that changes in legalisation of work
abroad could offer parents the opportunity to visit their children two or three times a year, as well
as keeping in touch with them.

Representatives of the District Department of Education, Children and Sports (DDEYS) say that
it is necessary to improve and harmonise Moldova’s legislative framework on child protection,
as well as to raise public awareness of the consequences of the phenomenon of labour force
migration.

At the same time, some teachers said that migrants’ children do not need special services at the
community level, justifying their view by the fact that these children have neither different needs
nor different behaviours from those of children living with their parents. They add that those
coming from “respected families” are left in the care and under the protection of close relatives.

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Medical workers, UNICEF staff, NGOs and ministerial representatives are persuaded of the need
to develop community-level, multifunctional day centres providing a wide range of facilities and
services, such as information, consultation, life skills development, health services friendly to
children, and hobby and sports clubs for children left without parental care. Careful
consideration of children’s needs should be the first step in the development of these services,
and wide media coverage would facilitate increased awareness of how to gain access to them.

Conclusions
The present study is based on the experiences of children left without parental care because of
the migration phenomenon. The information obtained within data collection workshops was
supplemented with that provided by the caregivers of migrants’ children, teachers,
representatives of different community services, representatives of public administration, and
international organisations accredited in the Republic of Moldova. After a primary analysis the
data was used in consultation with a group of adolescents and opinion leaders in their
community.

The data gathered show that parents’ departure has an impact not only on their children's
material conditions, but also on their emotional development, social relations and school
performance. These impacts are complex and can be both long-term or short-term, depending on
a multitude of factors, beginning with the length of the separation from their parents, the child’s
preparation for an independent life and the relationships with their caregivers and ending with
the attitudes of community members towards migrants’ children.

Psycho-emotional development
Children left without parental care face difficult and unpleasant emotional states – they become
sad, they feel isolated, and they often cry and feel insecure. The lack of the ability to manage
their emotions and the lack of a reliable person’s support amplifies these emotional states and
creates a climate in which children adopt aggressive methods of expressing their emotions.

Serious preoccupation with their parents’ safety in foreign countries contributes to an increase of
awareness of family values on the part of these children, but it can also produce a sense of guilt
over the fact that their parents left to provide a better future for them.

Smaller children externalise the emotions caused by separation from their parents more easily,
whereas adolescents prefer not to express their feelings. Children find it harder to bear the first
period of separation from their parents or the first experience of this kind.

Showing material wellbeing is a way some children compensate for the lack of affection. At the
same time, adults characterise them as feeling superior to others.

How children’s relationships evolve

On the one hand, their parents’ departure causes both a quantitative and qualitative decrease in
children’s interactions; on the other hand, there seems to be an increase in children’s

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preoccupations connected with the relationships within their families. The frequency of migrant
parents’ visits depends on the country of destination, as well as on the legal or illegal character of
their stay. The most common means of communication between parents and children is the
telephone. Even if most children communicate often with their migrant parents, they do not
manage to tackle subjects related to their spiritual or emotional state or even to ordinary
difficulties children go through.

Children’s relationships with their parents undergo changes; either they distance themselves, or
they become closer. Most children appreciate their parents’ efforts to guarantee them a better
life, they want not to disappoint them, and they do their best to meet their expectations. At the
same time, the lack of meaningful communication and the tendency to deal with problems of
everyday life independently cause an estrangement between parents and children.

Almost all the migrants’ children in the study had been left in the care of a close relative. About
two thirds of them live with one parent and the others are supervised by grandparents or aunts.
According to the caregivers, their main tasks are to provide children with adequate living
conditions, to monitor their school performance, and to prevent children from the exhibiting
socially undesirable behaviour. Caregivers’ growing responsibilities for children lead to their
overprotection and to excessive control of the children’s activities, sometimes even involving a
violation of their privacy.

From the perspective of the children, relationships with their caregivers are not sufficiently close
and the latter do not meet children's needs for moral support. The often advance age of
caregivers, their restrictive and authoritarian style of communication, as well as their ways of
managing the money sent by parents generate conflicts in the relationships between caregivers
and children.

The relationships of migrants’ children with their peers who live with their parents evolve in two
directions, depending on several factors. On the one hand the migrants’ children feel protected
and included, thanks to the feeling of sympathy and understanding of their situation, but on the
other hand, some feel coldness or tension because of envy of their living conditions.

The existence of several common characteristics connected with their material situation, their
concerns and their feelings cause children left without parental care to form their own circles of
friends. They prefer to interact in small groups and they are interested in finding reliable people
who can give them moral support and with whom they can share their personal thoughts.

School
Their parents’ departure abroad influences children's school performance in different ways. Most
often it declines as a result of the lack of their parents’ support and lack of time for doing
homework, but this decline is also caused by the conviction that studies are useless. On the other
hand, children’s desire to reward their parents working abroad for their efforts motivates some
children to maintain or even to improve school performance.

The development of the relationship between children left without parental care and their
teachers depends to a great extent on the personality of the latter. Those who prove to be

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friendly, sympathetic and receptive to children’s problems very soon become resource persons
for them. At the same time, some teachers who are envious of the improved material conditions
of migrant families tend to take advantage of the special relationship established with the
migrants’ children.

Children’s resources
Their parents’ departure forces children to act on their own. However, few children prove to
have developed the ability to live independently, to manage their resources and to practice a
healthy lifestyle. In these conditions, the lack of supervision from adults, lack of spare time
activities, access to money, as well as a growing pressure from their peers raise the vulnerability
of migrants’ children to risks related to drug abuse, school abandonment, precocious sexual
relationships, and undesirable behaviours.

The household responsibilities children must undertake, after their parents’ departure are often
far from being age-appropriate for them; as a result, children reach maturity early and both their
free time and the time they spend on their homework is limited. Even if they have developed
certain abilities and knowledge in this regard, most children are unhappy that they have been
given these tasks whether they want them or not, without asking their opinions. On the other
hand, children left without parental care at an early age develop the ability to cope with new
circumstances more easily.

Nevertheless, a feeling of insecurity often overwhelms children left without parental care and it
is difficult for them to find a reliable person they can turn to for support. Most frequently they
appeal to parents, caregivers and peers, the latter having priority in the discussion of sensitive
issues. Children seldom solicit support from representatives of community services and do so
only when they have a close relationship, based on trust, with these persons.

Children’s participation
The existence of certain models of children’s participation in the community can help prevent
children’s vulnerability through the development of life skills. In some communities there is a
greater tolerance and empathy, as well as solidarity, towards those who are disadvantaged. Thus,
children left without parental care benefit from a supportive environment that favours
communication with equals concerning any problem they face.

The level of children’s involvement in the family and community decision-making process
depends on their age. Children of 15 to 17 years are consulted more frequently by their parents
and other adults concerning matters affecting them. In their parents’ absence, the opinion of the
eldest child in the family counts the most, especially in relationships with relatives and the
community.

After their parents’ departure abroad, children enjoy more freedom, but paradoxically they also
have less free time, with numerous household activities and insufficient support for involvement
in extracurricular activities.

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How the children of migrants see their future
The example of their parents’ migration, the lack of opportunities to ensure a decent living in the
homeland, as well as their preoccupation with family reunification are some of the main reasons
that cause the children of migrants to associate their future with life abroad to a greater extent
than their peers who live with their parents. The desire of migrants' children to create a complete
and united family is increased by their unpleasant experience of separation from their parents.

Most migrants’ children wish to pursue their education, even if they are convinced that it will not
guarantee them a decent living and they do not have a concrete plan in this regard. The financial
support provided by their parents ensures them a place at the university, and this can be
considered the main reason for the decrease in their academic performance.

Policies and services for children left without parental care

According to the public authorities responsible for child protection, migrants’ children do not
constitute a deprived category; therefore, neither concrete legislation nor special strategies have
been elaborated for their protection. Even if the phenomenon of parents going abroad for work
has long been widespread, the situation of migrants’ children appeared on the public agenda only
in 2005, and the actions taken in this regard have been sporadic and have been limited, to a great
extent, to data collection.

Community institutions are generally not concerned with the situation of migrants’ children. Few
educational and leisure services have been provided by the school for children, regardless of
their family conditions. The capacity of such services to meet children’s needs, as well as their
quality and popularity, have declined because of a lack of financial resources and the
substandard training of professionals working with children and adolescents.

Recommendations
In the opinion of the great majority of the participants in the study, seeking a job abroad
represents an effective strategy for eluding poverty. However, beyond the immediate economic
benefits of migration, the consequences for children of separation from their parents have
become more obvious and more serious with time.

The complexity of this phenomenon is determined by the fact that the prevention of parents’
migration would contribute, on the one hand, to an improvement of children’s emotional and
social welfare, and, on the other hand, to the aggravation of the material conditions of families.
This makes it difficult to elaborate certain recommendations in this regard. Taking these facts
into account, we present both the recommendations expressed by the participants and children
consulted during the study, and those put forth by the research team during the data analysis
process.

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x Raising administration and public awareness of the effects of parents’ departure abroad
on children’s development in order to adopt a national strategy for the protection of
children left without parental care.

x The formulation of certain mechanisms to legalise work abroad that would allow migrant
parents to visit their children regularly and maintain an affective connection with them,
without the risk of being fired.

x Encouraging private investment, including the investment of resources coming from

abroad, through a simplification of company registration procedures; providing people
with special training to start their own business; promoting a fiscal policy that would
favour new economic agents.

x The creation of social rehabilitation and reintegration programmes for parents returning
from abroad in order to prevent repeated migration.

x The implementation of programmes for the development of localities, including the

creation of infrastructure and qualitative services for children and adults. This would help
children to associate their future with life in their community.

x Instruction for parents in the fields of communication and children’s development, which
would allow them to prepare their children for independent life and provide them with the
emotional support they will need for the duration of the parents’ absence.

x The development of programmes that encourage children’s participation in the family

decision-making process and persuade parents of the necessity of consulting and taking
into account their children’s opinions, including negotiation of the duration of their
absence.

x Psycho-pedagogical instruction, through the establishment of guardianship, of persons in

whose care children are left so that they understand their obligation to provide all the
required support and attention children need during their parents’ absence.

x Psychological preparation for teachers, including form masters, in order to meet

children’s needs for communication and emotional support.

x The implementation, at the community level, of programmes for the development of life
skills, focusing on skills such as self-administration, communication and relationships,
and management of resources and emotions.

x The promotion of various models of children’s participation at the community and school
level, depending on local needs, with a special focus on socially deprived children.

x The development, in each community, of multifunctional centres for children and

adolescents, providing opportunities for children with parents working abroad to be
involved in out-of-school activities together with children living with their parents, in
order to facilitate their social integration.

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x Diversification of leisure activities for children and adolescents from the community, in
accordance with their interests and needs. Preparation of a competent person responsible
for working with children and adolescents.

x The establishment of groups of peers trained to interact with children left without
parental care and provided with the necessary informational and emotional support.

x The establishment of child-friendly psychological and consultation services that respect

the principles of anonymity and confidentiality. Provision of psychological services in
schools by young, qualified persons who can easily gain children’s confidence.

x The development, at the community level, of professional maternal and paternal

assistance services to help mitigate the consequences of separation from their parents on
the child’s education and welfare.

x The psychological training of medical workers and social assistants; and the supplying of
medical centres with the necessary up-to-date equipment in order to guarantee qualified,
child-friendly information and consultation services.

x Broad media coverage of community services aimed at supporting children left without
parental care.

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For more information, please contact:

The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF)

3 United Nations Plaza, Policy, Advocacy and Knowledge Management
New York, NY 10017, USA

E-mail: [email protected]
Website: www.unicef.org/policyanalysis

Photo credit: © UNICEF/HQ96-0588/Ruth Massey