Dr Rawaa El Ayoubi’s Post

I learned the 3 most important things I needed to be a great leader before I reached 4th grade. Growing up, Billy was my best friend, my trusted confidant, and who I relied on more than anyone in the world. ❤️ I invited him to dinner just about every night.  ❤️ We’d walk home from school on most days.  ❤️ He’d always listen to my stories.  ❤️ I could always count on him. The thing that made Billy the most special, though, was that he lived completely in my head and heart. I totally made him up (or, he showed up because I needed him). Kids don’t make up friends for no reason. As much as I loved (and love) my parents, and as happy as I remember so much of my childhood, I also had my share of trauma. Through many therapy sessions, deep reflection, a ton of support from JoAnn, and facing things that I had previously buried deep down in my memory and soul, I came to realize that as a child, I often didn’t feel heard, seen, valued, or understood. I was ill-equipped to effectively verbalize any of this. I didn’t talk about my feelings very much at all (and I carried this with me through most of my adult life. It still takes significant energy for me to share how I feel about certain things). I needed ways to cope. So, in addition to periodically kicking holes in walls as an outlet, I created Billy. Think about the people you lead. Think about yourself. ❓ When you don’t feel heard, how do you cope?  ❓ When you don’t feel seen, what happens to your mindset? The way you engage? The way you perform? ❓ When you don’t feel connected, where and how do you seek connection? These things matter when it comes to creating the kind of culture where your people can be and do their best every day. For you to most effectively build a healthier and higher performing organization, you’ve got to apply the 3 things I learned through this experience growing up: 1. All of your people have a voice, a perspective, and ideas that can move your business forward. It is their responsibility to use their voice. It is also yours to create the environment that makes it safe and easier to do so. 2. Authentic connection fosters engagement, leading to performance. Make the space, create the organizational systems, and weave this way of being into your culture. When your people are tightly connected, it is easier to win, have fun, and thrive. 3. Loneliness is tightly correlated to burnout. Especially in this hybrid and remote world, loneliness is on the rise. Things in your organization are changing, and changing fast. You need your people at their best. Engage your people in conversations, so you can build a cultural flywheel that allows you to outpace your competitors. Billy often crosses my mind. I know he is there, should I ever need him. He helped me through some pretty tough times, and I learned so much from our relationship. My hope is that you can take something from my connection to Billy and apply it to your life, your leadership, and your legacy.

WHAT DO ELEPHANTS AND VAMPIRES HAVE IN COMMON? What do elephants and vampires have in common? They will both sabotage your team if you let them. Elephants in the room are the issues that you have not addressed, and they will stomp on your morale and teamwork if you don’t address them. Energy Vampires are the people that suck all the positivity out of your culture, and they drain your time, team and energy. Too often leaders ignore the elephants in the room and energy vampires on the team and as a result the issues, problems, and negativity only get worse. The key is to identify your elephants and discuss them and confront your energy vampires and transform or remove them. Both require you to have difficult but necessary conversations! And here in lies another challenge. Too often we avoid difficult conversations and that’s why we don’t deal with the elephants or vampires. We avoid conversations and conflict that make us feel uncomfortable. We also avoid them because we don’t know how to adequately have these conversations. These reasons are precisely why Amy P. Kelly and I wrote Difficult Conversations Don’t Have to be Difficult. We created a STAR3 Model to have difficult conversations that will make your conversations easier and your team whole lot better. While you still may feel uncomfortable at first when implementing the model, we have found that the model gives you confidence to move through the fear, embrace the discomfort, and grow in the process. After all, discomfort leads to growth if we step out in faith, utilize smart strategies, and take action! So you don’t have to get the garlic and wooden stakes to take care of your vampires and there’s no need to harm elephants. We love them! They actually provide an opportunity to utilize the strategies in the STAR3 model to have growth conversations that will make you and your team stronger and more unified than ever! You can read Difficult Conversations Don’t Have to be Difficult now before it comes out next week by preordering it now and joining our launch team (you'll also receive a free downloadable Action Plan and other bonus resources). Go to https://lnkd.in/gk-uuYxV to order the book and sign up! - Jon

Week 4 Highlights from Speaking Club for Personal Growth 5.0: Exploring Duality in Relationships This week in our Speaking Club for Personal Growth, we tackled the complex topic of Duality in Relationships: Control, Submission, and Identity. The discussion was both insightful and emotionally charged, with several key takeaways: First Impressions and Appearance We noted how appearance can sometimes elicit such strong reactions that we struggle to focus on what the person is actually saying. This observation sparked reflections on biases and the importance of seeing beyond appearances. Understanding Ourselves to Understand Others The group discussed how deep self-awareness can be the key to genuinely understanding others. The Infant as the "Head of the Family" A psychologist shared the example of how an infant, by doing very little, becomes the focus of the family. This highlighted the dynamics of care and power in relationships and led to a lively exchange of ideas. Expressing Gratitude Without Compromising Our Feelings We explored the concept of gratitude—showing appreciation while staying true to one’s emotions—a valuable skill in any long-term relationship. Managing Star Employees An interesting case study on highly productive employees revealed how managers shouldn’t rely solely on one “star” but instead develop the entire team while keeping the star motivated. After all, stars can burn out or be drawn to competitors. Financial Dynamics in Modern Relationships A debate arose around why a woman needs a man if finances are split 50/50—a thought-provoking point that opened up broader questions about modern relationship dynamics. Our conversation also touched on generational differences: participants observed that many in their 20s experience co-dependent relationships, while those in their 30s+ often encounter power imbalances. This naturally leads us into next week’s topic: generational perspectives on work and relationships. Looking forward to another enlightening discussion! #SpeakingClub #PersonalGrowth #Leadership #RelationshipDynamics #SoftSkills #GenerationalDifferences

🌞 Serenity Now: Embracing the End of Summer with New Beginnings 🌟 As September dawns, I find myself holding on to the warmth of summer, reflecting on the recent journey of embracing new ideas and ventures. For the past few weeks, I’ve been wrestling with the challenge of putting myself out there once more—whether it’s a new idea, a fresh title, or a different business direction. The fear of judgment or failure often stops us in our tracks, but why let that fear dictate our actions? Recently, I took a bold step with the support of a wonderful friend, and together we broke down the process of starting anew, pitching ideas, and simply being ourselves. 💪✨ The feedback so far has been incredibly positive. This experience has reminded me of an insightful Forbes article by Melinda Fouts, which highlights the importance of vulnerability when putting ourselves out there: Forbes Article 📖🌟 https://lnkd.in/gkt_AcdZ In her article, Fouts reflects on how embracing vulnerability—despite its challenges—can lead to personal and professional growth. Here’s what I’ve learned from this experience and the article: Be Humble 🙏: Remember, it’s not always about us; it’s about the greater purpose we’re serving. Find Your Authentic Voice 🎤: Authenticity builds trust and makes your message resonate. Let Go of the Outcome 🌱: Focus on your actions and intentions, and let the results unfold naturally. As we step into September, let’s embrace new beginnings with grace and confidence. Here’s to a month filled with fresh starts and continued growth! 🌟✨ Our new season is just around the corner... at Serenity Now for Entrepreneurs we can't wait to share our latest interviews with you! Stay tuned... #Leadership #Vulnerability #NewBeginnings #PersonalGrowth #Authenticity #SeptemberReflections

Back in 2010 when I was in my corporate career, the best thing I did was move to a smaller company within the larger brand I worked for. My job at that time was to help define what changes should be made and help implement them, and a key part of the work was to help define our mission - to find ‘Our why!’ I came across the book by Simon Sinek called ‘Starting With Why’ . I watched the video, ‘How Great Leaders Inspire Action‘. Everything started to fit together. I got it! I completely believed in why we did what we did and it literally became contagious. It meant we lived our values and those that didn’t care in the same way stood out. They either wanted to be part of our mission or they didn’t. It brought our mission to life and lit a fire inside me. It gave me purpose and I truly believed we were the best at what we did because we really cared about the people we served. Purpose is massively important to me. I have to have a strong ‘Why’. Starting my own business and working in the Mental Health and Wellbeing sector lit my fire again. Knowing and understanding your purpose is key to moving to where you want to be and that's why it's embedded in my programme. It enhances your wellbeing so much. I even have a talk on it and this was part of my chapter in the book Unstoppable Stories.

What advice would you give yourself now for when you first managed people? One interviewee as part of our research shared their experience with us: “I think authenticity - be yourself, don’t try to be somebody else, bring your own ideas, because you’re naturally going to have your own ideas. And to feel that your own ideas are okay. It’s okay to break the mould.” What about you? Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give yourself? You can download the full report of our research here 👉 https://buff.ly/40sGSxV #LeadeshipAdvice #ManagementTips #LeadershipDevelopment

Back in 2010 when I was in my corporate career, the best thing I did was move to a smaller company within the larger brand I worked for. My job at that time was to help define what changes should be made and help implement them, and a key part of the work was to help define our mission - to find ‘Our why!’ I came across the book by Simon Sinek called ‘Starting With Why’ . I watched the video, ‘How Great Leaders Inspire Action‘. Everything started to fit together. I got it! I completely believed in why we did what we did and it literally became contagious. It meant we lived our values and those that didn’t care in the same way stood out. They either wanted to be part of our mission or they didn’t. It brought our mission to life and lit a fire inside me. It gave me purpose and I truly believed we were the best at what we did because we really cared about the people we served. Purpose is massively important to me. I have to have a strong ‘Why’. Starting my own business and working in the Mental Health and Wellbeing sector lit my fire again. Knowing and understanding your purpose is key to moving to where you want to be and that's why it's embedded in my programme. It enhances your wellbeing so much. I even have a talk on it and this was part of my chapter in the book Unstoppable Stories.

What does it take to lead meaningful, lasting change? Dr. Prentice Ashford, Ed.D. has the answer—and it starts with authenticity, courage, and a deep commitment to people. In this week’s Changemaker Series, Dr. Ashford shares his insights on fostering inclusive cultures, driving impactful transformation, and creating environments where everyone can thrive. His approach is a masterclass in putting people at the heart of change. 🔗 Don’t miss his powerful story:

Here's the thing about leadership - leaders are constantly asked to make decisions with limited information. Sure you can gather, analyze and discuss but ultimately it still comes down to making a judgement call. I love this advice from Madeline Dore about life, and it so easily applies to leading (either yourself, others or an organization). ✨ "In moments where I don’t know what to do with my life, I try to remember the only thing I know to be true: take the next, small step. It sounds like obvious advice. We might have heard it a hundred times over. And yet, in the moments we need it most, it’s often overlooked in favour of something more complex, more certain. There is no prescription, no blueprint—our lives are composed by taking the next small step, and then the next. It’s a fool’s pursuit to think there is some way around this—some way to figure out our lives in advance—beyond trying one thing, and then another. This isn’t to dismiss reflection—after all, this newsletter is an ode to ruminating! Sometimes our lives can become a blur if we do the next thing, and the next, and the next, without pausing to consider if it’s the most necessary thing. So, how do we know what the “next and most necessary thing” is? We can learn to trust ourselves, get out of the indecision spiral, and be open to experimenting and collecting mistakes—knowing it will be revealed along the way." - Madeline Dore

The People Who Shape You. The people around you can significantly impact your happiness, success, and well-being. Choose your relationships carefully, as they influence your mental health, emotional stability, career growth, and personal development. Howard Schultz's entrepreneurial journey was transformed by his mentor, Don Valencia, and supportive wife, Sheri. Valencia's guidance taught Schultz to prioritize employee satisfaction, customer experience, and community involvement, propelling Starbucks to global success. "Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher." - Michelle Obama To cultivate meaningful relationships: ►Identify positive influences and nurture them. ►Set healthy boundaries with toxic relationships. ►Seek mentorship or coaching. ►Practice empathy and active listening. ►Invest in people who invest in you. Recommended Reading: "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey Who has made a positive impact in your life? Share your story and inspire others! #LeadershipLessons #EntrepreneurMindset #CareerGrowth