Daniel CF Ng 伍长辉’s Post

Explore the profound insights on love from Dr. Daniel Casriel's The Road of Happiness. Learn how understanding love as a biological need and a learned emotion can enrich your journey as a father.

💔 **Have you ever felt trapped between love and obligation?** It's a tough battle, and many of us face it more often than we realize. Sometimes, we may find ourselves in relationships where we constantly feel the weight of someone else's expectations. **Are you often:** - **Walking on eggshells** just to keep the peace? - **Feeling guilty** for wanting to prioritize your own needs? - **Questioning your own worth** based on someone else’s approval? Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your emotional freedom. **Here are a few insights:** - **Emotional blackmail** can manifest in subtle ways, making you feel responsible for another person's happiness. - **Love should feel uplifting**, not suffocating. If you feel more like an obligation than a partner, it might be worth pausing to reflect. 1 John 4:18 reminds us that **"There is no fear in love."** Let’s work towards relationships that celebrate both our individuality and our connection to one another. **Let’s talk about it!** If you’ve experienced any of these feelings or noticed similar patterns, **comment below.** Your story could resonate with someone else and help them find their voice. 💬 💞 **Share this with someone who might need to hear it.** Together, we can support each other in recognizing the difference between love and obligation, and foster healthier relationships. #LoveGod #Loveothers #fightfortheirfreedom

10 SNEAKY WAYS PEOPLE USE TO MANIPULATE YOU: 1. LOVE WITHDRAWAL: Withholding affection, attention, or approval as a way to punish or manipulate you into changing your behavior. 2. SHAMING: Making you feel guilty or inferior for your actions, beliefs, or feelings to diminish your self-esteem and make you more compliant. 3. GASLIGHTING BY OMMISSION: Deliberately leaving out important details or not communicating fully to make you feel disoriented or confused about the situation. 4. MAKING YOU QUESTION YOURSELF: Subtly undermining your confidence, making you doubt your abilities or decisions, often leading to dependence on them for validation. 5. PEACEKEEPING: Pretending to be the neutral party when, in fact, they are secretly manipulating both sides of an argument to maintain control. 6. EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL: Using your emotions or vulnerabilities against you, threatening to harm themselves or you if their demands are not met. 7. EXCESSIVE COMPLAINING: Constantly complaining or expressing dissatisfaction to make you feel guilty for not meeting their unspoken or unrealistic needs. 8. CONDITIONAL LOVE: Offering affection or approval only when you meet their expectations or comply with their desires, making your love seem conditional. 9. OVERLY EXAGGERATING THEIR PROBLEMS: Dramatizing their problems to make you feel responsible for helping them or focusing all the attention on them. 10. SPREADING RUMORS OR HALF-TRUTHS: Telling others parts of your personal business or twisting your words to manipulate perceptions and alienate you from others. Stay Vigilant: Manipulative behaviors can come in many forms, but the key is recognizing patterns where someone seeks to control, guilt, or emotionally exhaust you for their benefit. Be aware, trust your instincts, and prioritize healthy, balanced relationships. Your peace and emotional well-being are worth protecting at all costs. ✨ - Is there anything else that you would like to add to this listen👂 Shared by Prof. Shagufta Shan HR Specialist|Trainer|Mentor|Writer|Social Activist|Environment Warrior 🪖

In a world where we often hear about justice, it’s vital to recognize the profound role that love plays in confronting difficult situations, including those filled with distressing behavior. Have you ever noticed how feelings of emotional turmoil or constant self-doubt can deeply affect your well-being? Many might find themselves feeling drained after interactions, second-guessing their words, or even feeling like they're walking on eggshells around certain individuals. These are subtle signs that can be distressing yet often go unnoticed. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step toward understanding their impact on you. Love—whether it's self-love or love for others—serves as a powerful motivator for making necessary changes. It's about creating a space where empathy and compassion flourish, making room for open dialogue about feelings and boundaries. Justice, on the other hand, is about ensuring that everyone is treated fairly and with respect, allowing for accountability in relationships. As we reflect on these concepts, it’s important to be aware of patterns that signal a need for change. If you resonate with feeling like your voice isn’t heard or your needs are repeatedly sidelined, consider exploring those feelings more deeply. It can be beneficial to share these experiences with trusted friends or seek professional support. Let’s initiate a conversation about the balance of love and justice in fostering healthy relationships. What are your thoughts on how these two forces can work together to create more awareness and understanding? Share this post with someone who needs to hear this. Your voice matters. #LoveGod #Loveothers #fightfortheirfreedom

Ever find yourself at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take? Remember, the most powerful guide is love. "When in doubt, do the most loving thing." – Mpho Andrea Tutu. This insight isn’t just a guide for personal dilemmas: it’s a transformative approach to navigating life. Choosing love, even in the smallest actions, can create meaningful change. When facing tension with your teenager, maybe it's not about solving all their problems, but the loving choice might be offering them a moment of understanding—perhaps a quiet cup of tea or helping them organize their space when words are difficult. Sometimes, love is as simple as giving an extra hug or offering a gentle, loving, and reassuring gaze. With a partner, when you're feeling distant or disconnected, remember that listening – truly listening – is a profound act of love. Sometimes, it's not about 'fixing' things, but being there, fully present, and showing you care without judgment. In the workplace, this might mean offering a colleague a listening ear when they’re facing challenges, extending a small gesture of support or acknowledging their hard work. Alternatively, love could manifest as a passion for a new direction or project, or empowering your team's creative ideas. And when dealing with a friend or coworker, love could mean extending grace, being patient, or offering a simple gesture of understanding to help rebuild trust. But love isn’t just for others – it’s for yourself, too. Self-love could mean taking a moment for quiet reflection, treating yourself to rest when you’re exhausted, or speaking kindly to yourself when you make a mistake. Sometimes, it’s simply honouring your needs and showing yourself the same kindness and respect you give to others. In every relationship, love is the foundation that guides us through tough challenges. Let it lead your actions, and watch how it transforms not only your connections but your entire approach to work and life. Your thoughts? #ChooseLove #LoveInAction #HealingThroughKindness #MphoAndreaTutu #RelationshipGoals #ParentingWithLove #TrueListening #KindnessMatters #ConflictResolution #LoveFirst #MindfulConnections

After millions of songs and greeting cards, LOVE needs no introduction. Love as a character strength refers to the degree to which you value close relationships with people, and contribute to that closeness in a warm and genuine way. Where kindness can be a behavioral pattern applied in any relationship, love as a character strength really refers to the way you approach your closest and warmest relationships. Love is reciprocal, referring to both loving others and the willingness to accept love from others. There are four types of love, each with a biological and evolutionary base: ·       Attachment love: parent for child; child for parent ·       Compassionate/altruistic love: kindness ·       Companionate love: friendship ·       Romantic love: spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend Even more than happiness and optimism, love holds the key to improving our mental and physical health as well as lengthening our lives. Using research from her own lab, Barbara L. Fredrickson redefines love not as a stable behemoth, but as micro-moments of connection between people – even strangers. She demonstrates that our capacity for experiencing love can be measured and strengthened in ways that improve our health and longevity. Finally, she introduces us to informal and formal practices to unlock love in our lives, generate compassion, and even self-soothe. ‘Love 2.0’ will reinvent how you look at and experience our most powerful emotion! #positive_psychology #VIA_character_strengths #what_should_I_read_next

Have you ever felt afraid of showing concern in public? Especially online where strangers whom you don’t know, can easily hide behind their keyboards and hurl insulting words at you thinking that there are no consequences? What I mean is, when someone posts something controversial, even though you have strong valid opinions that can help someone, anyone, and perhaps even open narrow minds, you don’t speak it because it may go against the crowd’s narrative. And because other people may not be pleased with your opinions even though they are “opinions”, you decide to stay in your safe comfort zone. And then whenever you see unjust, you keep quiet. You turn a blind eye. Insults or demeaning comments such as “oh he is just trying to act all noble”, “oh she is just trying run a PR stunt to tell the world how kind she is”. Kindness, is kindness. Don’t overcomplicate it. I do think that you mustn’t silence your inner want to care and show empathy. When your heart truly want those words of kindness to be spoken to a complete stranger, you open that mouth and say it. Period. The people commenting on you faking empathy are the exact people who are truly hurt inside of them, and are desperately needing love yet they are also the same person who is closing their heart to receiving love from this world. They are also the same people hurling insults at your kindness. So, instead of falling prey to their bullying, I encourage you to see them with compassionate eyes, know why they are doing that, and carry on with opening your heart, saying loving words, doing acts of kindness whenever you feel like it. Because if you don’t, and you freeze by their judgement, you are really closing yourself up. You are silencing your gift, you are making yourself resistant to receiving acts of kindness. Only an angry person who is hurt inside can speak unkind words to another person. A loving person who love themselves will only speak words of love. You must see this with clarity. Not for others. But for yourself. Don’t close your heart.

Lack of self-love can make it hard to believe anyone else could love you. If you constantly worry about others' opinions, people-please, or struggle with negative self-talk, you might need to work on self-love. Start by being kinder to yourself, staying active, challenging yourself, and practicing gratitude. Remember, self-love is about trusting that you'll be OK, no matter what. #SelfLove #Gratitude #Peace #Harmony #Joy #Happiness #PHJ https://lnkd.in/eN8zTNXS

I was scrolling through substack the other day and I read this note, where the person shared that they knew when their relationships with their lovers ended: As soon as they lost respect for the other person the relationship began to end. I recognized myself in that statement. I have been in relationships where one, or both partners (or more) lost respect for each other and that was the beginning of the end. I pondered those experiences and how the lack of respect how created a drought of love. You can love someone and not like or respect them, but it’s not sustainable love. It may not really even BE love, because the relationship has likely been formed from need instead of want. Can you really like or love someone if you don’t respect them? I think it’s pretty much impossible. What are these relationships where respect isn’t at place? These are relationships based on need, and what comes with need is how functional the relationship is, as opposed to how connective it is. Want to read the rest of the article? Comment below and I'll dm you the link. #selfrespect #selflove #selfcare #menswork #mensmentalhealthawareness #maturemasculinity #sovereigncode #innerwork #masculinepsychology

How often do you say, "I don't/didn't want them to feel like......"? Caring is essential. But OVERcaring, making ourselves hyper-responsible for dynamics beyond those that are ours is exhausting, & disempowers others, and it keeps us all from embracing & learning to navigate our OWN emotions, while diminishing the opportunity for others to develop resiliency, self-respect, & trust for what life throws at them. It's one thing to support, encourage & believe in others. It's quite another to take OWNERSHIP for their goals, achievements & outcomes (because YOU "know" best, your way is better, your need to control or perfect takes precedence). When we make their path our own, & make the destination (& the journey) about saving/fixing/rescuing others, we're not creating space to empower others through accountability & responsibility of their own thoughts, actions & reactions. We're perpetuating a mentality of victimhood, denying the value others can offer, & making our own comfort & goals the priority. If I make myself more responsible for someone's emotions than the person(s) involved, what message does that send? To them? To me? To those observing? You say YOU don't want someone to feel a certain way. WHO gave you sovereignty over their feelings? WHO made you responsible for how they feel? WHO said that was the feeling they did/are/will experience? WHO is the one uncomfortable with that feeling? Not wanting someone to hurt means you're a caring, compassionate, sensitive being. Making YOURSELF responsible for whether or not they feel that way is laced with saviorism, a fix-it mentality, & perpetuates the idea that we're not fully-feeling beings entitled to the emotions we experience, deserving of the qualities that feeling & expressing those feelings bring us, & keeps us from creating understanding & connection that dancing with those feelings weaves between us. "Saving" someone from emotional pain is one thing. Allowing someone to learn from an experience, build resilience, & learn to trust themselves while allowing their emotions to inform them is quite another. All my love 💗