Concetta Winters’ Post

The Best Advice I Never Knew I Needed Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you were constantly giving more than you were receiving? It’s a common experience, especially for those of us who pour our hearts into our relationships, friendships, and even work. Recently, I overheard a conversation that shifted my perspective in a way I never expected. While sipping on my usual cup of tea at my favorite cafe, I couldn’t help but overhear a woman giving her friend some heartfelt advice. He said, "Don’t go above and beyond for people anymore. Meet them as far as they meet you” At that moment, it felt like the universe was speaking directly to me through this stranger’s words. This simple yet profound advice hit me like a ton of bricks. We live in a world where going above and beyond is often praised, but what happens when that energy isn’t reciprocated? We end up feeling drained, unappreciated, and sometimes even resentful. This isn’t about being selfish or holding back our love and generosity. It’s about balance and self-respect. Think about it. How many times have you gone out of your way to help someone who wouldn’t do the same for you? Or reached out to people who never initiate contact? It’s a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes we need to take a step back and evaluate the dynamics of our relationships. By meeting people as far as they meet us, we protect our emotional well-being. It’s not about tit-for-tat; it’s about recognizing and valuing our own efforts and energies. When we match the level of effort others put into us, we create healthier, more balanced relationships. We stop feeling like we’re chasing people or constantly proving our worth. This advice has been a game-changer for me. It’s not just about friendships or romantic relationships, but every interaction we have. It’s about understanding that our time and energy are precious. We should invest them wisely in people who appreciate and reciprocate our efforts. This isn’t about shutting people out. It’s about opening yourself up to healthier, more balanced relationships. And guess what? When you stop overextending yourself, you create space for the right people to show up – those who value you for who you are, not what you do for them. So here's to finding our "enough" and building relationships that fill us up, not drain us. You deserve it With love and good vibes, -Nardia_NC #BestAdvice | #PersonalDevelopment | #EmbraceTheJourney | #GrowthMindset | #Healing | #Gratitude | #Millennials #Wellbeing | #Women | #LinkedinForCreators | #Nardia_NC

Friday thoughts on friendships — how many friends do we need in our lives? Turns out, we don’t need many. Because we actually can’t. According to British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, the concept of Dunbar's Number suggests that we can effectively maintain stable connections with approximately 150 people. This figure represents "the number of people you will not feel embarrassed about joining uninvited for a drink if you bump into them at a bar." Despite the prevalence of social media and technology, the average user may have several hundred online friends, yet less than 5% have actually reached out to more than a hundred individuals on these platforms. While individuals who invest more time in social media tend to have larger online networks, this doesn't necessarily translate to expanded offline networks, and they may not feel exceptionally close to the people in their digital sphere. The tightest circle, encompassing loved ones, typically consists of just five people. Beyond this, there are successive layers: 15 for good friends, 50 for friends, 150 for meaningful contacts, 500 for acquaintances, and 1500 for people you can recognise. Dunbar's Number can be attributed to two main factors: cognitive and emotional capacity, as well as limited time. Firstly, communicating with others requires emotional energy, and regardless of whether someone is extroverted or introverted, there is a finite amount of cognitive and emotional space available for interactions. Secondly, time constraints play a role; spending more time with inner-circle relationships may limit the availability for casual friendships, and prioritising acquaintances can hinder the development of a strong support network. You can spend more time to expand these numbers, but whether the trade-offs of time and emotional capacity are worth it varies based on your personality and network type — whether you are an expansionist who spend most social effort meeting new people, or a convener who own dense networks with few tight-knitted friends. Who are the people you want to keep close in your life? Feel free to tag them, and make sure maintain quality, deep relationships with them. Happy weekend ahead!

When long-term friendships sour, turn toxic, and secrets are used as weapons to ruin friendships and disrupt lives, there can be several underlying causes. Understanding these causes can help shed light on why such situations occur and potentially prevent them from happening in the future. Here are some possible causes: 1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary causes of friendships souring is a breakdown in communication. When friends fail to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time. Lack of open and honest communication can lead to a deterioration of trust and the emergence of toxic dynamics within the friendship. 2. Change in Values or Priorities: Over time, people change, and their values and priorities may shift. When friends who were once aligned in their beliefs and goals start to diverge, it can strain the friendship. Differences in values, lifestyles, or life choices can create conflicts and make it difficult for the friendship to sustain its previous harmony. 3. Unresolved Conflicts: Unresolved conflicts can fester and poison a friendship over time. When issues or disagreements are left unaddressed, they can build up resentment and create a toxic atmosphere. Friends who avoid or ignore conflicts rather than working through them may find themselves drifting apart or engaging in destructive behavior. 4. Betrayal and Trust Issues: Betrayal, such as sharing personal secrets or using sensitive information as weapons, can be a severe blow to a long-term friendship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when that trust is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Betrayal can lead to deep emotional wounds that may be difficult to heal, causing the friendship to turn toxic or dissolve entirely. 5. Unhealthy Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential in any friendship. When boundaries are crossed or disregarded, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a toxic power dynamic. 6. Lack of Emotional Support: Long-term friendships often thrive on emotional support and understanding. When one friend consistently fails to provide the necessary support or becomes emotionally draining, it can strain the relationship. Friends who are unable or unwilling to be there for each other during challenging times may find their friendship becoming toxic. 7. Personal Growth and Development: Personal growth and development can sometimes lead to the outgrowing of friendships. As individuals evolve and pursue their own paths, they may find that their long-term friendship no longer aligns with their newfound values, interests, or goals. It is important to remember that every friendship is unique, and the causes for its deterioration may vary. Recognizing these causes can help friends address issues before they become toxic or irreparable. Open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through conflicts are crucial.

When long-term friendships sour, turn toxic, and secrets are used as weapons to ruin friendships and disrupt lives, there can be several underlying causes. Understanding these causes can help shed light on why such situations occur and potentially prevent them from happening in the future. Here are some possible causes: 1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary causes of friendships souring is a breakdown in communication. When friends fail to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time. Lack of open and honest communication can lead to a deterioration of trust and the emergence of toxic dynamics within the friendship. 2. Change in Values or Priorities: Over time, people change, and their values and priorities may shift. When friends who were once aligned in their beliefs and goals start to diverge, it can strain the friendship. Differences in values, lifestyles, or life choices can create conflicts and make it difficult for the friendship to sustain its previous harmony. 3. Unresolved Conflicts: Unresolved conflicts can fester and poison a friendship over time. When issues or disagreements are left unaddressed, they can build up resentment and create a toxic atmosphere. Friends who avoid or ignore conflicts rather than working through them may find themselves drifting apart or engaging in destructive behavior. 4. Betrayal and Trust Issues: Betrayal, such as sharing personal secrets or using sensitive information as weapons, can be a severe blow to a long-term friendship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when that trust is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Betrayal can lead to deep emotional wounds that may be difficult to heal, causing the friendship to turn toxic or dissolve entirely. 5. Unhealthy Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential in any friendship. When boundaries are crossed or disregarded, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a toxic power dynamic. 6. Lack of Emotional Support: Long-term friendships often thrive on emotional support and understanding. When one friend consistently fails to provide the necessary support or becomes emotionally draining, it can strain the relationship. Friends who are unable or unwilling to be there for each other during challenging times may find their friendship becoming toxic. 7. Personal Growth and Development: Personal growth and development can sometimes lead to the outgrowing of friendships. As individuals evolve and pursue their own paths, they may find that their long-term friendship no longer aligns with their newfound values, interests, or goals. It is important to remember that every friendship is unique, and the causes for its deterioration may vary. Recognizing these causes can help friends address issues before they become toxic or irreparable. Open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through conflicts are crucial.

When long-term friendships sour, turn toxic, and secrets are used as weapons to ruin friendships and disrupt lives, there can be several underlying causes. Understanding these causes can help shed light on why such situations occur and potentially prevent them from happening in the future. Here are some possible causes: 1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary causes of friendships souring is a breakdown in communication. When friends fail to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time. Lack of open and honest communication can lead to a deterioration of trust and the emergence of toxic dynamics within the friendship. 2. Change in Values or Priorities: Over time, people change, and their values and priorities may shift. When friends who were once aligned in their beliefs and goals start to diverge, it can strain the friendship. Differences in values, lifestyles, or life choices can create conflicts and make it difficult for the friendship to sustain its previous harmony. 3. Unresolved Conflicts: Unresolved conflicts can fester and poison a friendship over time. When issues or disagreements are left unaddressed, they can build up resentment and create a toxic atmosphere. Friends who avoid or ignore conflicts rather than working through them may find themselves drifting apart or engaging in destructive behavior. 4. Betrayal and Trust Issues: Betrayal, such as sharing personal secrets or using sensitive information as weapons, can be a severe blow to a long-term friendship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when that trust is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Betrayal can lead to deep emotional wounds that may be difficult to heal, causing the friendship to turn toxic or dissolve entirely. 5. Unhealthy Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential in any friendship. When boundaries are crossed or disregarded, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a toxic power dynamic. 6. Lack of Emotional Support: Long-term friendships often thrive on emotional support and understanding. When one friend consistently fails to provide the necessary support or becomes emotionally draining, it can strain the relationship. Friends who are unable or unwilling to be there for each other during challenging times may find their friendship becoming toxic. 7. Personal Growth and Development: Personal growth and development can sometimes lead to the outgrowing of friendships. As individuals evolve and pursue their own paths, they may find that their long-term friendship no longer aligns with their newfound values, interests, or goals. It is important to remember that every friendship is unique, and the causes for its deterioration may vary. Recognizing these causes can help friends address issues before they become toxic or irreparable. Open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through conflicts are crucial.

When long-term friendships sour, turn toxic, and secrets are used as weapons to ruin friendships and disrupt lives, there can be several underlying causes. Understanding these causes can help shed light on why such situations occur and potentially prevent them from happening in the future. Here are some possible causes: 1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary causes of friendships souring is a breakdown in communication. When friends fail to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time. Lack of open and honest communication can lead to a deterioration of trust and the emergence of toxic dynamics within the friendship. 2. Change in Values or Priorities: Over time, people change, and their values and priorities may shift. When friends who were once aligned in their beliefs and goals start to diverge, it can strain the friendship. Differences in values, lifestyles, or life choices can create conflicts and make it difficult for the friendship to sustain its previous harmony. 3. Unresolved Conflicts: Unresolved conflicts can fester and poison a friendship over time. When issues or disagreements are left unaddressed, they can build up resentment and create a toxic atmosphere. Friends who avoid or ignore conflicts rather than working through them may find themselves drifting apart or engaging in destructive behavior. 4. Betrayal and Trust Issues: Betrayal, such as sharing personal secrets or using sensitive information as weapons, can be a severe blow to a long-term friendship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when that trust is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Betrayal can lead to deep emotional wounds that may be difficult to heal, causing the friendship to turn toxic or dissolve entirely. 5. Unhealthy Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential in any friendship. When boundaries are crossed or disregarded, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a toxic power dynamic. 6. Lack of Emotional Support: Long-term friendships often thrive on emotional support and understanding. When one friend consistently fails to provide the necessary support or becomes emotionally draining, it can strain the relationship. Friends who are unable or unwilling to be there for each other during challenging times may find their friendship becoming toxic. 7. Personal Growth and Development: Personal growth and development can sometimes lead to the outgrowing of friendships. As individuals evolve and pursue their own paths, they may find that their long-term friendship no longer aligns with their newfound values, interests, or goals. It is important to remember that every friendship is unique, and the causes for its deterioration may vary. Recognizing these causes can help friends address issues before they become toxic or irreparable. Open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through conflicts are crucial.

When long-term friendships sour, turn toxic, and secrets are used as weapons to ruin friendships and disrupt lives, there can be several underlying causes. Understanding these causes can help shed light on why such situations occur and potentially prevent them from happening in the future. Here are some possible causes: 1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary causes of friendships souring is a breakdown in communication. When friends fail to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time. Lack of open and honest communication can lead to a deterioration of trust and the emergence of toxic dynamics within the friendship. 2. Change in Values or Priorities: Over time, people change, and their values and priorities may shift. When friends who were once aligned in their beliefs and goals start to diverge, it can strain the friendship. Differences in values, lifestyles, or life choices can create conflicts and make it difficult for the friendship to sustain its previous harmony. 3. Unresolved Conflicts: Unresolved conflicts can fester and poison a friendship over time. When issues or disagreements are left unaddressed, they can build up resentment and create a toxic atmosphere. Friends who avoid or ignore conflicts rather than working through them may find themselves drifting apart or engaging in destructive behavior. 4. Betrayal and Trust Issues: Betrayal, such as sharing personal secrets or using sensitive information as weapons, can be a severe blow to a long-term friendship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when that trust is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Betrayal can lead to deep emotional wounds that may be difficult to heal, causing the friendship to turn toxic or dissolve entirely. 5. Unhealthy Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential in any friendship. When boundaries are crossed or disregarded, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a toxic power dynamic. 6. Lack of Emotional Support: Long-term friendships often thrive on emotional support and understanding. When one friend consistently fails to provide the necessary support or becomes emotionally draining, it can strain the relationship. Friends who are unable or unwilling to be there for each other during challenging times may find their friendship becoming toxic. 7. Personal Growth and Development: Personal growth and development can sometimes lead to the outgrowing of friendships. As individuals evolve and pursue their own paths, they may find that their long-term friendship no longer aligns with their newfound values, interests, or goals. It is important to remember that every friendship is unique, and the causes for its deterioration may vary. Recognizing these causes can help friends address issues before they become toxic or irreparable. Open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through conflicts are crucial.

When long-term friendships sour, turn toxic, and secrets are used as weapons to ruin friendships and disrupt lives, there can be several underlying causes. Understanding these causes can help shed light on why such situations occur and potentially prevent them from happening in the future. Here are some possible causes: 1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary causes of friendships souring is a breakdown in communication. When friends fail to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time. Lack of open and honest communication can lead to a deterioration of trust and the emergence of toxic dynamics within the friendship. 2. Change in Values or Priorities: Over time, people change, and their values and priorities may shift. When friends who were once aligned in their beliefs and goals start to diverge, it can strain the friendship. Differences in values, lifestyles, or life choices can create conflicts and make it difficult for the friendship to sustain its previous harmony. 3. Unresolved Conflicts: Unresolved conflicts can fester and poison a friendship over time. When issues or disagreements are left unaddressed, they can build up resentment and create a toxic atmosphere. Friends who avoid or ignore conflicts rather than working through them may find themselves drifting apart or engaging in destructive behavior. 4. Betrayal and Trust Issues: Betrayal, such as sharing personal secrets or using sensitive information as weapons, can be a severe blow to a long-term friendship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when that trust is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Betrayal can lead to deep emotional wounds that may be difficult to heal, causing the friendship to turn toxic or dissolve entirely. 5. Unhealthy Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential in any friendship. When boundaries are crossed or disregarded, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a toxic power dynamic. 6. Lack of Emotional Support: Long-term friendships often thrive on emotional support and understanding. When one friend consistently fails to provide the necessary support or becomes emotionally draining, it can strain the relationship. Friends who are unable or unwilling to be there for each other during challenging times may find their friendship becoming toxic. 7. Personal Growth and Development: Personal growth and development can sometimes lead to the outgrowing of friendships. As individuals evolve and pursue their own paths, they may find that their long-term friendship no longer aligns with their newfound values, interests, or goals. It is important to remember that every friendship is unique, and the causes for its deterioration may vary. Recognizing these causes can help friends address issues before they become toxic or irreparable. Open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through conflicts are crucial.

When long-term friendships sour, turn toxic, and secrets are used as weapons to ruin friendships and disrupt lives, there can be several underlying causes. Understanding these causes can help shed light on why such situations occur and potentially prevent them from happening in the future. Here are some possible causes: 1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary causes of friendships souring is a breakdown in communication. When friends fail to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time. Lack of open and honest communication can lead to a deterioration of trust and the emergence of toxic dynamics within the friendship. 2. Change in Values or Priorities: Over time, people change, and their values and priorities may shift. When friends who were once aligned in their beliefs and goals start to diverge, it can strain the friendship. Differences in values, lifestyles, or life choices can create conflicts and make it difficult for the friendship to sustain its previous harmony. 3. Unresolved Conflicts: Unresolved conflicts can fester and poison a friendship over time. When issues or disagreements are left unaddressed, they can build up resentment and create a toxic atmosphere. Friends who avoid or ignore conflicts rather than working through them may find themselves drifting apart or engaging in destructive behavior. 4. Betrayal and Trust Issues: Betrayal, such as sharing personal secrets or using sensitive information as weapons, can be a severe blow to a long-term friendship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when that trust is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Betrayal can lead to deep emotional wounds that may be difficult to heal, causing the friendship to turn toxic or dissolve entirely. 5. Unhealthy Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential in any friendship. When boundaries are crossed or disregarded, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a toxic power dynamic. 6. Lack of Emotional Support: Long-term friendships often thrive on emotional support and understanding. When one friend consistently fails to provide the necessary support or becomes emotionally draining, it can strain the relationship. Friends who are unable or unwilling to be there for each other during challenging times may find their friendship becoming toxic. 7. Personal Growth and Development: Personal growth and development can sometimes lead to the outgrowing of friendships. As individuals evolve and pursue their own paths, they may find that their long-term friendship no longer aligns with their newfound values, interests, or goals. It is important to remember that every friendship is unique, and the causes for its deterioration may vary. Recognizing these causes can help friends address issues before they become toxic or irreparable. Open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through conflicts are crucial.

When long-term friendships sour, turn toxic, and secrets are used as weapons to ruin friendships and disrupt lives, there can be several underlying causes. Understanding these causes can help shed light on why such situations occur and potentially prevent them from happening in the future. Here are some possible causes: 1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary causes of friendships souring is a breakdown in communication. When friends fail to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time. Lack of open and honest communication can lead to a deterioration of trust and the emergence of toxic dynamics within the friendship. 2. Change in Values or Priorities: Over time, people change, and their values and priorities may shift. When friends who were once aligned in their beliefs and goals start to diverge, it can strain the friendship. Differences in values, lifestyles, or life choices can create conflicts and make it difficult for the friendship to sustain its previous harmony. 3. Unresolved Conflicts: Unresolved conflicts can fester and poison a friendship over time. When issues or disagreements are left unaddressed, they can build up resentment and create a toxic atmosphere. Friends who avoid or ignore conflicts rather than working through them may find themselves drifting apart or engaging in destructive behavior. 4. Betrayal and Trust Issues: Betrayal, such as sharing personal secrets or using sensitive information as weapons, can be a severe blow to a long-term friendship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when that trust is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Betrayal can lead to deep emotional wounds that may be difficult to heal, causing the friendship to turn toxic or dissolve entirely. 5. Unhealthy Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential in any friendship. When boundaries are crossed or disregarded, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a toxic power dynamic. 6. Lack of Emotional Support: Long-term friendships often thrive on emotional support and understanding. When one friend consistently fails to provide the necessary support or becomes emotionally draining, it can strain the relationship. Friends who are unable or unwilling to be there for each other during challenging times may find their friendship becoming toxic. 7. Personal Growth and Development: Personal growth and development can sometimes lead to the outgrowing of friendships. As individuals evolve and pursue their own paths, they may find that their long-term friendship no longer aligns with their newfound values, interests, or goals. It is important to remember that every friendship is unique, and the causes for its deterioration may vary. Recognizing these causes can help friends address issues before they become toxic or irreparable. Open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through conflicts are crucial.