Tan Jing En - Gen-Z Speaker, Emcee, Author, Leader’s Post

Saturdays are for catching up with friends, but here’s a tip to consider before you make plans: The 'coffee test.' If the thought of having coffee with someone feels more like an obligation than a joy, it could be a sign that something's off. Before you pick up your phone to make that call, take a moment to read about the subtle signs of toxic friendships. Understanding these dynamics can help you cultivate healthier, more fulfilling connections. https://lnkd.in/dBHrJJRG

There are many different types of friendships. Acquaintances are people you know, see occasionally & have friendly conversations, but maybe you don't have a deep connection. Casual friends are those you see more regularly and likely have a bit more in common. Maybe you share interests or social circles, but you don't necessarily confide in each other or spend a lot of time together. Close friends are people who you have a deeper connection with - sharing personal info, confiding & spending time together. You may have a long history together, having shared significant life events. Best friends are those you have a strong bond with, share a lot in common and support each other through thick & thin. Online friends are those you “meet” but connect, share interests & communicate through social media, forums, or other digital platforms. Work friends are those you mainly interact with in a work setting, sharing professional interests or goals, but may not necessarily spend time together outside of work. ✨ Some good listeners become our confidantes & offer comfort as we deal with day-to-day challenges. Some friends are practical helpers, who might help if a car breaks down or if we’re ill or offers to pick up & drive kids. Some make us laugh, offer distractions when we need it & share perspective when we might not be seeing clearly. ✨ Sometimes we put a lot of pressure on our friendships. We might think they should suit our every need. But this puts a lot of pressure on any relationship. It’s hard but important to remember that while we’re coping with our lives— so is everyone. So if we can remember what our friends do and offer when they can, we’re less likely to feel disappointed when it feels like they haven’t fulfilled our expectations of the friendship. ✨ Friends come in all forms. If you have one or maybe two that are actually all-fulfilling — you are exceptionally lucky. That said, it’s wise to create a collective of friends. They are ALL important. And, understand everyone is coping with life just like you are. Doing this will help you appreciate their strengths and generosity when offered. ✨ PS: I'm missing so many names because I really wanted to "be in the moment" so I wasn't whipping out my phone for pictures! But...here are a few very special people & "moments." Chris Lahiji Robert Wotczak Jay Woods, CMT Scott Biddick Mary Manzella Freedom Capital Markets Patricia McCarron Emily Barker Emma Dell'Acqua Roberta Condini Mosna Lisa Loew VStock Transfer Eddie Tobler Robert S. D. Brian Rabinovitz LD Micro The Money Channel Goliath Resources Limited Douglas Ellenoff Jay Yu Mark Heil Steve Barr Allen Klee Mike Logozzo Rong Wang Alex Stella Dennis Calvert

Remember the days when you and your best friends were inseparable? Every moment, every secret, every joy, and sorrow were shared. Life was simpler then and friendship was an everyday affair. The friendship sustained by frequent calls and messages is what you initially had. Every day began with a "Good morning!" text and ended with a late-night call that recounted the day’s events, no matter how trivial. Then, life starts to change. Careers, relationships, and responsibilities begin to demand more of your attention. The daily calls turn into weekly check-ins, and the messages become less frequent. You still care, still want to be there, but life has other plans. The bond you once maintained with effort begins to feel the strain of growing up. You move to a different city and despite the distance, you make an effort to stay in touch. You schedule video calls, send each other memes, and try to bridge the gap with technology. But sometimes, despite your best efforts, you feel the growing distance. The calls become fewer, the messages sparse, and slowly, you drift apart. The foundation of your bond, built on constant communication, starts to crack under heavy silence. But then you realise something profound. You discover that you have a handful of friends you rarely speak to, but when you do, it’s as if you’ve never been apart. You might not know the day-to-day details of each other’s lives, but the emotional bond remains strong. You meet after months, maybe years, and the connection is instantaneous. The shared laughter, the understanding looks, the unspoken support—it’s all there, untouched by time and distance. You realise that growing up doesn’t mean losing friends. It simply means understanding which friendships need constant nurturing and which ones thrive on the emotional bond. You take a deep breath. You feel a sense of gratitude for the friends who have walked with you, both near and far.

Do we really need friends? The short, scientifically proven answer is that there is a direct correlation between friendship and health. The slightly longer answer is that it’s friends that grant me a sense that I belong, that I am connected, and that I have a sense of purpose: all things that give meaning to my life and remind me it’s worth living (because sometimes we forget.) It’s friends that stand as proof that I am lovable. It’s friends that remind me that I matter and am valuable. It’s friends that support me as I navigate difficult times. As I get older, times get harder, so cultivating friendships is an investment in my future well being. It’s friends that put my inner world in perspective, so I don’t get lost in the narrow hallways of my own mind. It’s friends that counterbalance the high pitched, relentless, urgent voice of my anxiety. Friends protect me from depression and dark thoughts and even lower my blood pressure. People with friends live longer. Making friends and keeping friends takes a lot of work - often irritating, frustrating work (because humans can be so incredibly annoying and tragically I am no exception.) This work makes me a better person: a better listener, kinder, more patient, more open. Navigating relationships builds character as I negotiate the labyrinths of what matters to them and what matters to me. It’s thanks to friends that I am released from the torment that is being the center of my world. If I am introverted, if I am busy, if I desperately need creative time, if I am overwhelmed by work or family, if I find relationships a challenge, I might (and do) wonder if I even need friends. Are they worth the bother, the time, the complexity and the heartbreak? Yes. Yes they are. My relationships are = with the quality of my life.

I felt weird doing it, but I sent this text to someone I’d just met: “This is a bit forward, but I really enjoyed meeting you, and I wondered if you’d like to be friends?” Luckily, they agreed, and now we are, and we meet up regularly. You might be forgiven for thinking I had a crush, and this was my coy way of asking to see more of them. Or perhaps the connection might be advantageous to my work. But it wasn’t the case - it was totally platonic, and they were nothing to do with my industry. I just thought they seemed like a cool person. We’re often way more proactive with new love interests or networking opportunities than with potential new friendships, which is curious right? Do the stakes feel higher when you’re asking someone to be your friend? Does it feel more vulnerable somehow? Why is that? My opinion is that it’s simply a case of being out of practice. As kids in the playground, we’d ask to be someone’s friend all the time, and it was totally normal… (and yelling “you’re not my friend anymore” was reserved for those who had particularly wronged us). But as adults, it feels uncomfortable and awkward, so we often choose the alternative, which is to say nothing, losing out on the opportunity of new relationships that could enrich our lives. A lot of us assume that our social networks will grow as we do, and the friendships we have will always be there. But we’ve discovered this is not the case. In a society where loneliness is rife, people are looking around at fewer friends than they’d thought they’d have at age 'X', and are at a loss as to how to fix it. Friendship takes work, and commitment, and regular meetings, and a willingness to be vulnerable. So I’d love to start normalising this question, “shall we be friends?” so it starts feeling less weird. I’d love to know… has anyone asked this question recently? What did you say, and what happened as a result? #friendship #loneliness #community

A friend of mine, who recently relocated to a new town, shared her struggle to make new friends. Her experience resonates with many of us, as we've all felt the challenge of forming genuine connections in unfamiliar places. She's noticed that people often have established friend groups, are busy with their families, and may not be open to forming new relationships. Building adult friendships can be challenging, especially when balancing work and family commitments. Many find themselves in a similar situation where friendship takes a back seat. Realizing the significance of these connections is the first step toward change. Research consistently demonstrates that strong social connections contribute to a longer and more satisfying life. Friendships offer emotional support, which can help alleviate feelings of isolation–a growing concern highlighted by people like Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. Our social interactions can enhance our sense of wellbeing and reduce stress levels. Many of us have not prioritized our connections. I admit that it takes time and energy to invest in relationships, but our friendships sustain us. I've personally found that making the effort to reach out, even when it's difficult, has led to some of the most rewarding friendships in my life. One simple action is to re-ignite old friendships by emailing or texting old connections. These old connections hold a special place in our hearts, and chances are that the person will be glad to hear from you. An old college friend I don't often connect with recently called me. It was great to pick up our conversation as if we never missed a beat. I am more conscious of reaching out to others I meet at local events. I also call people even when I don't have much time to chat rather than continually put off connecting. You may also introduce people to others. I was grateful to be introduced to a neighbor who shares many interests. What have you encountered in your journey of developing friendships and connections as an adult? #friends #connections #relationships #friendship

Some people find it difficult to make friends for various reasons, such as fear of rejection, social anxiety, lack of time, challenges related to introversion, falling into the comparison trap, or navigating friendships as a neurodivergent individual. https://lnkd.in/dfDmKY-M. Why are some people unable to make friends? … fear of rejection, social anxiety, lack of time, challenges related to introversion, falling into the comparison trap, or navigating friendships as a … https://lnkd.in/dfDmKY-M. Why do one sided friendships happen? One-sided friendships are often rooted in a dynamic based on imbalanced emotional labor, power, and reciprocity. If you've overlooked this imbalance in your relationship, it's time to reassess. https://lnkd.in/deXe8e-k. Is it normal to not have one friend? Survey suggest that having few or no friends is not uncommon. Millennials are most likely to report having no friends, and those numbers may be growing as a result of social media, internet use, and world events.

This post is dedicated to all my friends, to my all "types" of friends. Friendship, like customers in marketing, can indeed be categorized and segmented. In this digital era, we may have 5000 Facebook friends, 2000 LinkedIn connections, and 1000 WhatsApp contacts, but if we introspect, do we truly know even 20% of them? When I say "know them," I literally mean knowing them. So, when we claim to have many friends, it's crucial to specify the type of friends we're referring to. Just like a pack of cards, our friend groups also often consist of Jokers (humorous ones), Jacks (Jugaadu ones), Kings (pampered ones), and Aces (brightest among the group). Based on my understanding and experience, I've categorized friends into four sets: Set 1: Eternal Friends (usually found in school or college days, rarely found after 25 years of age) These friends are the ones with whom we share a timeless connection. Even if we don't communicate for a year, reconnecting feels seamless, as if no time has passed. Our emotions are genuine, and the bond is mutual. They comprehend our silence and perceive the unspoken. Whether acknowledged or not, we trust that they'll be there for us whenever needed. Set 2: "Har ek Dost Kamina Hota Hai" (mostly found in schools, colleges, but can enter at any age) These friends embody fun and mischief. Friendship to them means teasing, joking, and delighting in each other's discomfort. Yet, they are the first to rush to our aid in times of need. With them, there are no barriers or pretenses; it's raw and authentic. We quarrel, reconcile, share a drink, and repeat. The bottom line: we argue when together and miss them when apart. Set 3: Convenience/Companionship (usually in later stages of life) These friends are made along life's journey, often by circumstance rather than choice. They could be colleagues, commuting partners, neighbors, morning walk gang, community guys, gym buddies, or even bar mates. Friendship here revolves around shared activities and companionship. However, the emotional depth of these friendships determines the future once the shared task or activity concludes. Set 4: Backup Friends (found at any age) These friends serve as a safety net. Almost everyone has at least one friend in this category—the one we turn to ONLY in times of crisis, confident they'll bail us out. Typically, they're either exes or perennial Samaritans, ever ready to help others. (In short losers form this set who are always looking for redemption) Films like Dil Chahta Hai, Rock On and 3 Idiots may have glorified friendship to another level but still defining friendship is challenging, and finding true, pure friendship in today's world is rare. So, if you find it, hold onto it tightly. PS: The famous fable of Shri Krishna and Sudama goes like this—Sudama asks Shri Krishna, "Dosti ka Matlab kya hota hai?" and Shri Krishna simply replies, "Jisme Matlab ho woh Dosti nahi."

Are we simply collecting friends, or are we truly building meaningful relationships? This blog emphasizes the importance of having a variety of friends who can support us in different ways. No single person can fulfill all our social and emotional needs. We need friends who can mentor us, celebrate with us, comfort us in tough times, and even give us honest opinions when we need them. Relying on just one friend is unrealistic because everyone has their own lives. Building a diverse "friendscape" is like having a varied portfolio of investments, adding security and value to our lives. Friends who challenge our thinking and encourage our growth are essential. How do you ensure you're building meaningful friendships rather than just collecting friends? #Friendship #MentalHealth #Relationships #SocialSupport #PsychologyToday

Are we simply collecting friends, or are we truly building meaningful relationships? This blog emphasizes the importance of having a variety of friends who can support us in different ways. No single person can fulfill all our social and emotional needs. We need friends who can mentor us, celebrate with us, comfort us in tough times, and even give us honest opinions when we need them. Relying on just one friend is unrealistic because everyone has their own lives. Building a diverse "friendscape" is like having a varied portfolio of investments, adding security and value to our lives. Friends who challenge our thinking and encourage our growth are essential. How do you ensure you're building meaningful friendships rather than just collecting friends? #Friendship #MentalHealth #Relationships #SocialSupport #PsychologyToday