Lifestyle

I Was Going To Complain About My Free 5-Star Hotel — Then I Found Out It's Only $400 A Night

Henry Blodget

2013-01-22T17:01:00Z

Bayerischer Hof hotel promenade

The folks who run the excellent DLD conference in Munich were kind enough to ask me to speak again this year.

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And they took great care of me.

They flew me over business class, put me up at a five-star hotel, and then chauffered me to Davos. That was extremely classy of them. Who doesn't love to be treated like George Clooney?

I've told you about my flight (there was only one lousy part of it).

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So now I'll tell you about my hotel.

The Bayerischer Hof is smack-dab in the center of Munich. You can walk to everything--even the Apple Store.

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The hotel is on Promenade Platz. There are statues of famous Bavarians outside.

Bayerischer Hof hotel promenade

To get to the hotel, you have to cross the Promenade. A helpful sign warns you to "Achtung Tram." And you had really better achtung.

Bayerischer Hof hotel achtung tram

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Because those babies barrel along silently, out of nowhere.

Bayerischer Hof hotel tram

The statue of a famous Bavarian just in front of the hotel has an odd feature...

Bayerischer Hof hotel outside

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It has become a shrine to Michael Jackson. I was here last year, and I figured that the "Michael Jackson shrine" thing would just be temporary. But it's still here!

Bayerischer Hof hotel michael jackson

Walk across the Promenade and 'achtung tram' again, and then you reach the entrance of the Bayerischer Hof.

Bayerischer Hof hotel entrance

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It's a "5-sterne" hotel, according to the brochure, and those heat lamps will warm you right up.)

Bayerischer Hof hotel warmers

Just start talking, and the staff will respond in whatever language you speak. They won't make you feel like an idiot American who only speaks one language.

Bayerischer Hof hotel lobby

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There are complimentary dog bowls in the lobby, by the way, in case you brought your pooch.

Hotel Dog Bowls

Classic touches on the elevators...

Bayerischer Hof hotel elevator

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And a heavy brass key with a remote control on the end. Press that red button, and you're in.

Bayerischer Hof hotel keys

The DLD folks were putting me up, so I wasn't worried about the bill. And that was nice. Because Business Insider doesn't spring for 5-sterne hotels.

Bayerischer Hof hotel room entry

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I used to stay at 5-sterne hotels a lot, back when I was an investment banker. So I got pretty particular about them. The Bayerischer kind-of sort-of held its own.

Bayerischer Hof hotel single room

My room faced the courtyard. Not a bad thing to look at.

Bayerischer Hof hotel courtyard

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Soft, fluffy bedding--top-notch.

Bayerischer Hof hotel bedding

"Welcome fruit."

Bayerischer Hof hotel fruit

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Art.

Bayerischer Hof hotel room art

A full walkthrough wardrobe area.

Bayerischer Hof hotel wardrobe

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And the standard marble bathroom.

Bayerischer Hof hotel bathroom

The bathroom, by the way, contains one of the best features of the Bayerischer Hof room experience: The shower.

Bayerischer Hof hotel shower

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Some hotels have lousy water pressure. Not the Bayerischer Hof. It's like a waterfall.

Bayerischer Hof hotel shower head

And there's a TOWEL WARMER. Water flows through those pipes and warms your towels 24/7. I felt guilty about having water warming my towels 24/7. So I turned it off.

Bayerischer Hof hotel towel warmer

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The shampoo and toiletries are high quality. I do have an aside about the Bayerischer shampoo, however. The scent is "lemon grass." And the only other time in my life I have encountered lemon grass is in Thai soups. So washing my hair smelled like dumping a bowl of Thai soup over my head.

Bayerischer Hof hotel shampoo

Soap and a "duschschaube." I guessed (correctly) that that was a shower cap.

Bayerischer Hof hotel soap

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Okay, time for the quibbles. And bear in mind that, as I was noticing these things, I was imagining that the Bayerischer Hof cost ~$700 a night--the going rate for a 5-star hotel in New York. At ~$700 a night, you can be seriously particular. So it seemed to me that it was time for the BH to re-polish their floors.

Bayerischer Hof hotel floor

And replace the rug, which was heavily worn.

Bayerischer Hof hotel rug

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The bathroom had a strange aroma coming from it. Mold, perhaps. Whatever it was, it was strong enough that I opened a window.

Bayerischer Hof hotel closet

The befuddling light switches weren't the Bayerischer Hof's fault--I assume they're a German thing--but there wasn't much discernible rhyme or reason to them.

Bayerischer Hof hotel light switch

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Press one, and all the lights would go off. Press another and nothing would happen. Press the third and some lights would come on. Press another one somewhere else and a couple of outlets would go off. I never did figure them out.

Bayerischer Hof hotel nightstand

And here is something I would have found really irritating (if I had been paying for the room). The Bayerischer Hof is a 5-sterne hotel. It costs gazillions of dollars a night. So they're really going to nickel and dime me for some wasser?

Bayerischer Hof hotel water

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And not just nickel and dime me. That bottle of water was about $12!

Bayerischer Hof hotel water price

I didn't even want to know how much the stuff in the mini-bar cost.

Bayerischer Hof hotel mini bar

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And it didn't seem like a particularly great selection.

Bayerischer Hof hotel snacks

All in, though, I loved my stay in the Bayerischer Hof (especially because it was complimentary). And I was a lot more forgiving of the worn floorboards, nickel-and-diming, and strange aroma when I checked on TripAdvisor and found that the BH is "only" $400 a night.

Bayerischer Hof hotel promenade

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So that was the hotel.

Lufthansa A340

Now check out my business-class experience on Lufthansa >

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