30 Images From The Absurd Ceremony FIFA Throws To Give Out Its Annual Awards

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In one of the many traditions that makes European soccer more grandiose than American sports, FIFA held its annual gala to present the Ballon d'Or in Switzerland today.

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The Ballon d'Or is like the MVP award.

Instead of simply holding a press conference to announce the winners, FIFA throws a big ceremony involving dancing, singing, mascots, and the inexplicable presence of small children.

It's oddly compelling, and we were pretty impressed, even if Cristiano Ronaldo wasn't.

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The ceremony took place in Zurich, where FIFA is based. The venue was smaller than your typical awards show

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Here's our host, Kay Murray. She's English

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The three women vying for the top award were (from left to right) Marta of Brazil, Alex Morgan and Abby Wambach of the US. They had to sit together

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So did the men's contenders (L to R): Cristiano Ronaldo, Andres Iniesta, and Lionel Messi, who wore an awesome polka-dot suit

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The ceremony began with a lengthy speech by FIFA president Sepp Blatter. And boy, the crowd was not into it

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Morgan and Wambach did not look intrigued

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Nor did this guy

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Former US women's coach Pia Sundhage did her best to stay interested

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Spain's Iker Casillas did not

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But THEN the energy went through the roof when tribal dancers performed. Yes, tribal dancers

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It was ... outside the box for a black-tie gala

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The weirdness continued when Ronaldo, who just lost 30 pounds on a Brazilian reality show, showed up

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He kissed an armadillo mascot, who will be a big part of the World Cup in 2014

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Nothing screams "classy" like an armadillo mascot

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After that we got down to the awards. FIFA presented the 11 best players in the world at their respective positions, and inexplicably had a little kid come out with them

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Here's who made the cut. All 11 players play professionally in the Spanish La Liga, and seven are on the Spanish national team

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Cristiano Ronaldo made the team picture a bit awkward

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After that Sundhage won the award for women's coach of the year

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Morgan and Wambach were pleased

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Then Spanish coach Vicente del Bosque won men's coach of the year, and his doppelganger presented him with the award

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So time for the big awards, right? Nope, singer-songwriter Amy MacDonald came out and performed

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It got very American Idol

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Almost 90 minutes after the ceremony began, it was time for the big awards. A lovely looking Hope Solo presented the award for female player of the year

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Her teammate Abby Wambach won, and feigned surprise

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Abby, Hope, and Sepp had an awkward handshake

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Morgan and Marta looked a little bummed during the acceptance speech

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Then came the big award. The winner was...

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Messi! In his polka-dot suit. It was a record-setting fourth Ballon d'Or for him, and he's only 25

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Iniesta, his teammate, was pleased

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Ronaldo was not impressed, which was the perfect way to end the evening

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Now see what kind of coin these guys make

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The 10 Highest-Paid Soccer Players In The World >

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