Eva Mendes Never Pictured Her Life at 50 — and Now She's 'Happy It's Turning Out the Way It Is' (Exclusive)

Though she never imagined her life at 50, Eva Mendes is marching to the beat of her own drum—and she couldn’t be happier. “I don’t succumb to societal pressure. Whatever I want to do, I do,” says the actress, who shares daughters Esmeralda Amada, 9, and Amada Lee, 8, with Ryan Gosling. “I certainly didn’t think I’d have kids and be locked down. So I’m really happy that a certain man came into my life and made me change my mind about all that stuff.”

Choosing to leave her acting career behind to focus on her children a decade ago was “the easiest decision” she’s ever made.

“All those years are just so formative,” says the co-owner of cleaning brand Skura Style. “I wanted to be there for all of it.” Nearly three decades after her start in Hollywood, Mendes—who will publish her debut kids’ book, Desi, Mami, and the Never-Ending Worries, this fall—has learned to see “beauty in my imperfections.”

Now she’s creating the narrative for her daughters as well. “They’re listening, and what I say is powerful,” she says. “When someone radiates joy, I try to be like, ‘Oh, that’s really beautiful.’ Not ‘They’re really beautiful.’ ” At the end of the day, they hold her accountable: “It makes me try to be a better person every day.”

At 50, how do you define beauty? 
At 50, I define beauty as not definable. It can be anything and everything. It's all around you. If you're open to seeing it, it's everywhere.

How did you imagine your life would look at 50 when you were younger?
I don't think I imagined my life over 30 when I was younger. I thought 30 was old then. I don't think I had a picture of what I wanted my life to look like. I never did, but I'm pretty happy it's turning out the way it is. 

What do you have the confidence to do now at 50 that you wouldn't have had the guts to do at 25?
Raise kids. When I was 40, it was a big deal for people when I was pregnant, and it wasn't for me. And then I was 42 and I was pregnant with my second one and people were like, “Oh my God, you're going to be so tired. That's why people have kids in their 20s.” I was like, “That's the most asinine thing I've ever heard.’

By the way, it takes more patience. In my 20s, I shouldn't have even been around a child. I was foul-mouthed and smoking. I definitely could not have raised kids in any other era of my life but now.

How would you describe your style?
I would say Cuban Golden Girls. I love flowy [dresses], wrapping my hair up and wearing big hoops.

I don't feel the need to show anything anymore. I'm good. I feel like I did that early on, and I look back and go, “Why did I do that? Oh, my God.” Maybe it's because I have girls.

How did you come to the decision to take a step back from acting to raise a family?
Because I was older, I knew, well, my kids are only going to be little once, and whatever I do or don't do right now is going to affect them the rest of their life. I didn't feel that as pressure at the time. I felt it as clarity. All those years are formative years. I wanted to be there for all of it.

You’re co-owner of Skura Style. How did this come to be?
I was just going through certain cleaning products and I needed a sponge upgrade. I had read something that said, “Your sponge is dirtier than your toilet.” I was just like, “What?” Then I found this perfect sponge. It's called Skura Style sponge. It's been really exciting because I have an emotional tie to it.

You’ve said that “a clear sink is a clear mind.” How do you distribute cleaning duties at home? 
I'm not a cook, so my man cooks and I clean. I can't cook. My girls, they're so cute but they're like, "Did you make these eggs, mama?" I'm like, “Who messes up eggs?” 

Tell me about your new children’s book!
It's based on my experience with my kids and putting them to bed and the worries that we have all day and how the voices are louder. The worries are scarier right before you fall asleep sometimes. I had something to say and I hope other parents and caregivers enjoy it.

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