Article 10 - The Four Types of Parenting Styles

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THE FOUR TYPES OF PARENTING STYLES

Every parent and child, without exception, has a way of interacting with each other. Sometimes those
interactions are highly positive and affirming, at other times they are volatile and counterproductive. Your
style and whether it meshes or clashes with your child's, strongly influences the relationship dynamics in
your family and how successful you'll be as a parent and a family in general1.
Many articles on different types of parenting styles have been written over the years and the following four
basic styles have stood the test of time in guiding parents in understanding their own parental role and
responsibilities. Once you have a clear understanding of the different styles, it will be easier to define your
own strategy that fits with your personal value system. As you read through these different types of
parenting styles, think of yourself and what style you seem to exercise. You may recognize a style of a
friend or other parent you know. Most parents find themselves to be a mixture of a couple of different
styles2.
1. Authoritarian Parenting:
In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure
to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind
these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply "Because I said so". These parents have high
demands and are not usually responsive to their children. Authoritarian parents tend to be obedience and
status orientated, they often expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation. Authoritarian parenting
styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient. These children do however often rank
lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.
2. Authoritative Parenting:
Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that
their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative
parents are more responsive to their children and are willing to listen to questions. When children fail to
meet expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving than punishing. These parents monitor
and communicate clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and
restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. These parents want their children
to be assertive as well as socially responsible, self-regulated as well as cooperative. Authoritative parenting
styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable and successful.
3. Permissive Parenting:
Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their
children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of
maturity and self-control. Permissive parents are more responsive than they are demanding. They are non-
traditional and lenient, do not require mature behaviour, allow considerable self-regulation and avoid
confrontation. Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often
taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent. Permissive parenting often results in children
who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with
authority and tend to perform poorly in school.
4. Uninvolved Parenting:
An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little
communication. While these parents fulfil the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their
child's life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.
Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control,
have low self-esteem and be less competent than their peers3.
Free online parenting style questionnaires are available at:
http://www.comprehensivepsychology.com.au/assets/pdf/PARENTING%20STYLE%20QUESTIONNAIRE.p
df and https://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.activeparenting.com/downloads/Parenting_Style_Quiz-printable.pdf
For a list of references and links to more information on this topic please visit
http://www.christinedarney.co.za/Psych-Ed/psych-ed.html
Christine Darney
Clinical Psychologist

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