Ten Rules for Negotiating a Job Offer

When the story of how I landed a job at Airbnb went viral, I was surprised at how infatuated people were with my
negotiations. Media stories portrayed me as some kind of master negotiator—a wily ex-poker-player who was
able to con the tech giants into a lucrative job offer.

This is silly. It’s silly for a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones is that in reality, my negotiation skills are nothing
special. There are lots of job candidates who are better negotiators than I, to speak nothing of recruiters and other
professional negotiators.

It just so happens that most people don’t negotiate at all, or if they do, they just negotiate just enough to satisfy
themselves that they did.

Worse yet, most of the advice out there on negotiation is borderline useless. Almost anything you read on the
subject will be a vague and long-winded exhortation to “make sure you negotiate” and “never say the first
number.” Beyond those two morsels of advice, you’re pretty much on your own.

I thought to myself: why is there so little actionable advice out there about negotiation? I suspect it’s because
deep down, many people believe that negotiation is inexplicable, that it’s something some people can do and
others can’t, and that there’s no real way to break it down so anyone can learn it.

I say that’s bullshit. Negotiation is a skill that can be learned just like any other, and I don’t believe it’s particularly
elusive or hard to understand. So I’m going to try to explain how anyone can do it.

Three caveats.

First: I’m not an expert. There are people who really are experts at this, and when my advice contradicts theirs,
you should assume I’m wrong.

Second: negotiation is tricky to generalize about because it’s deeply intertwined with social dynamics and power.
The appropriate advice for an Asian male in Silicon Valley may not be appropriate for a black woman in
Birmingham, Alabama. Racial, sexual, and political dynamics accompany you to the negotiating table.

At the same time, I want to caution against overemphasizing these factors. Being afraid to negotiate out of fear of
discrimination can often be just as deleterious as discrimination itself.

Ceteris paribus, negotiate aggressively.

Third: I’m the first to admit that negotiation is stupid. It’s a practice that inherently benefits those who are good at
it, and is an absurd axis on which to reward people. But it’s a reality of our economic system. And like most
collective action problems, we’re probably not going to be able to abolish it any time soon. In which case, you
might as well improve at it.

So here’s my guide to negotiation. It’s going to be split into two parts: this first part will be about conceptualizing
the negotiating process, about how to begin the process and set yourself up for maximal success. The second
part will be advice on the actual back-and-forth portion of negotiating and how to ask for what you want.

Let’s take it from the top.

What it means to “get a job”
In our culture we call entering the employment market “trying to get a job.” This is an unfortunate turn of phrase.
“Getting a job” implies that jobs are a resource out in the world, and you’re attempting to secure one of these
resources. But that’s completely backwards. What you are actually doing is selling your labor, and a company is
bidding for it.

Employment is just striking a mutual deal in the labor market.

Like any market, the labor market only functions well if it’s competitive. This is the only way to ensure fair and
equitable pricing. Imagine you were a farmer selling watermelons. Would you just sell your watermelons to the
first buyer who agreed to purchase them? Or would you survey the marketplace of buyers, see the best price (and
business partner) you could get, and then make an informed decision on which buyer to sell to?

And yet, when people talk about the labor market, they think “oh, a company wants to give me a job! What a
relief!” As though having a job were in itself some special privilege for which a company is the gatekeeper.

Dispel yourself of this mindset.

A job is just a deal. It is a deal between you and a company to exchange labor for money (and other things you
value).

This might sound like an abstract point, but you should absolutely approach negotiation from this perspective.

The role of negotiation

Negotiating is a natural and expected part of the process of trying to make a deal. It’s also a signal of competence
and seriousness. Companies generally respect candidates who negotiate, and most highly attractive candidates
negotiate (if for no other reason, because they often have too many options to choose from).

At the risk of spouting truisms: always, always negotiate. Doesn’t matter how good or bad you think you are. You
never damage a relationship by negotiating.

In all my time as an instructor at App Academy, out of hundreds of offers negotiated, only once or twice were
offers ever rescinded in negotiations. It basically never happens. And when it does, usually the candidate was
being an unconscionable asshole, or the company was imploding and needed an excuse to rescind the offer.

You might think to yourself: “well, I don’t want to set high expectations, and the offer is already generous, so I
ought to just take it.“

No. Negotiate.

Or maybe: “I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot and look greedy with my future employer.“

No. Negotiate.

“But this company is small and—“

No. Shut up. Negotiate.

We’ll talk more in the next section about why a lot of these objections are bullshit, and fundamentally
misapprehend the dynamics of hiring. But for now, just trust me that you should always negotiate.

The ten rules of negotiating

I’ve tried to boil down negotiation to ten rules. The rules, in order of appearance, are:

1. Get everything in writing

2. Always keep the door open
3. Information is power
4. Always be positive
5. Don’t be the decision maker
6. Have alternatives
7. Proclaim reasons for everything
8. Be motivated by more than just money
9. Understand what they value
10. Be winnable

We’ll only get through some of these in this blog post, and the rest will appear in the second part. But I’ll explain
each rule as we get to it.

So let’s start from the top and try to walk through a negotiation process from the very beginning. For most, that
starts when you receive an offer.

The offer conversation

You’ve just received the phone call: your interview went well, and after much deliberation they decided they like
you. They want to make you an offer. Congratulations!

Don’t get too excited though. The fun is just getting started.

Thank your recruiter. Sound excited—hopefully this won’t be hard. Before jumping into details, try to ask for
specific feedback on your interview performance. If they give it to you, this will help you gauge how much they
want you, as well as tell you things you can improve on in your next interview(s).

Now time to explore the offer.

Rule #1 of negotiating: have everything in writing.

Eventually, they’ll give you information about the offer. Write it all down. Doesn’t matter if they’re going to send you
a written version later, write everything down. Even if there are things that are not directly monetary, if they
relate to the job, write them down. If they tell you “we’re working on porting the front-end to Angular,” write that
down. If they say they have 20 employees, write that down. You want as much information as you can. You’ll
forget a lot of this stuff, and it’s going to be important in informing your final decision.

Depending on the company, they’ll also tell you about the equity package. We’ll look more specifically at equity in
part II, but be sure to write everything down.

The rule from here on out is that everything significant you discuss will have some kind of a paper trail. Often, the
company won’t even send you an official offer letter until a deal is finalized. So it falls to you to confirm all of the
important details in subsequent e-mails.
So yadda yadda, lots of details, writing stuff down, oh there’s a joke, time to laugh. Now the recruiter is done
talking and you’re done asking all of your questions.

Your recruiter will now say something along the lines of “so what do you think?“

This seems innocuous, but your reply here is critical, because there’s a lot you can say to weaken your position.
This is your first decision point.

A decision point is a moment in the negotiation where your interlocutor wants to compel you to make a decision. If
they succeed in tying you to a position, they will close the door on further negotiating. Of course “what do you
think?” is a subtle prod. But it is the beginning of many attempts to get you to make a premature commitment.

This leads to rule #2 of negotiating: always keep the door open. Never give up your negotiating power until
you’re absolutely ready to make an informed, deliberate final decision.

This means your job is to traverse as many of these decision points as possible without giving up the power to
continue negotiating. Very frequently, your interlocutor will try to trick you into making a decision, or tie you to a
decision you didn’t commit to. You must keep verbally jiu-jitsu-ing out of these antics until you’re actually ready to
make your final decision.

Protecting information
There’s an uncomfortable silence by now, and their “what do you think?” is hanging in the air.

If you say “yes, that sounds amazing, when do I start?” you implicitly accept the offer and completely close the
door on the negotiation. This is your recruiter’s number one favorite thing to hear. It stands to reason you probably
shouldn’t do this.

But their second favorite thing to hear you say is “can you do 90K instead of 85K?” This also closes the door, but
for a different and more subtle reason. And it’s the number one reason why most people suck at negotiation.

Rule #3 of negotiating: information is power. To protect your power in the negotiation, you must protect
information as much as possible.

A company doesn’t give you insight into what it’s thinking. It doesn’t tell you its price range, how much it paid the
previous candidate with your experience, or anything like that. It intentionally obfuscates those things. But it wants
you not to do the same.

A company wants to be like a bidder in a secret auction. But unlike the other bidders, it wants to know exactly how
high all of the other bids are. It then openly intends to exploit that knowledge, often by bidding one cent more than
the second highest bid.

Yeah, no. Screw that. It’s a silent auction, and to keep it that way, you must protect information.

In many situations, the only reason why you have any negotiating power at all is because the employer doesn’t
actually know what you’re thinking. They might not know how good your other offers are, or how much you were
making in your last job, or how you weigh salary vs equity, or even how rational you are as a decision-maker.
Bottom line, you want them to be uncertain on exactly what it would take to sign you.

When you say “can you do 90K instead of 85K,” you’ve told them exactly what it will take to make you sign. The
sheet’s pulled back, the secret auction is up, and they’re going to bid 90K (or more likely, 87K). And they know
there’s almost no risk in doing so, because you’ll probably accept.
What if you were the kind of person who wouldn’t even consider an offer below 110K? Or the kind of person who
wouldn’t consider an offer below 120K? If you were, you wouldn’t ask for 90K, and if they offered it as conciliation,
you’d tell them to stop wasting your time.

By staying silent, they don’t actually know which of those kinds of people you are. In their mind, you could be any
of the three.

A corollary of this rule is that you should not reveal to companies what you’re currently making. There are some
exceptions, but as a rule you should assume this. If you must divulge what you’re making, you should be liberal in
noting the total value of your package (incorporate bonuses, unvested stock, nearness to promotion etc.), and
always mention it in a context like “[XYZ] is what I’m currently making, and I’m definitely looking for a step up in
my career for my next role.“

Companies will ask about your current compensation at different stages in the process—some before they ever
interview you, some after they decide to make you an offer. But be mindful of this, and protect information.

So given this offer, don’t ask for more money or equity or anything of the sort. Don’t comment on any specific
details of the offer except to clarify them.

Give away nothing. Retain your power.

Say instead: “Yeah, [COMPANY_NAME] sounds great! I really thought this was a good fit, and I’m glad that you
guys agree. Right now I’m talking with a few other companies so I can’t speak to the specific details of the offer
until I’m done with the process and get closer to making a decision. But I’m sure we’ll be able to find a package
that we’re both happy with, because I really would love to be a part of the team.“

Think like the watermelon farmer. This offer is just is the first businessman who’s stopped by your watermelon
patch, glanced over your crops, and announced “I’ll take all of these right now for $2 a melon.”

Cool. It’s a big market, and you’re patient—you’re a farmer after all. Just smile and tell them you’ll keep their offer
in mind.

And this is super important: always be unequivocally positive.

The importance of positivity

Staying positive is rule #4 of negotiation. Even if the offer is shit, it’s extremely important to remain positive
and excited about the company. This is because your excitement is one of your most valuable assets in a
negotiation.

A company is making you an offer because they think you’ll do hard work for them if they pay you. If you lose your
excitement for the company during the interview process, then they’ll lose confidence that you’ll actually want to
work hard or stay there for a long time. Each of those makes you less attractive as an investment. Remember,
you are the product! If you become less excited, then the product you’re selling actually loses value.

Imagine you were negotiating with someone over buying your watermelons, but the negotiation took so long that
by the time you’d reached an agreement, your watermelons had gone bad.

Companies are terrified of that. They don’t want their candidates to go bad during a negotiation. Hence why they
hire professional recruiters to manage the process and make sure they remain amicable. You and the recruiter
share the same interest in that regard. If a company feels like you’ve gone bad, suddenly they’re a lot less willing
to pay for you.
So despite whatever is happening in the negotiation, give the company the impression that 1) you still like the
company, and that 2) you’re still excited to work there, even if the numbers or the money or the timing is not
working out. Generally the most convincing thing to signal this is to reiterate you love the mission, the team, or the
problem they’re working on, and really want to see things work out.

Don’t be the decision-maker

You can wrap up the conversation now by saying:

I’ll look over some of these details and discuss it with my

[FAMILY/CLOSE_FRIENDS/SIGNIFICANT_OTHER]. I’ll reach out to you if I have any questions.
Thanks so much for sharing the good news with me, and I’ll be in touch!

So not only are you ending the conversation with the power all in your hands, but note there’s another important
move here: you’re roping in other decision-makers.

Rule #5 of negotiation: don’t be the decision-maker. Even if you don’t particularly care what your
friends/family/husband/mother thinks, by mentioning them, you’re no longer the only person the recruiter needs to
win over. There’s no point in them trying to bully and intimidate you; the “true decision-maker” is beyond their
reach.

This is a classic technique in customer support and remediation. It’s never the person on the phone’s fault, they’re
just some poor schmuck doing their job. It’s not their decision to make. This helps to defuse tension and give them
more control of the situation.

It’s much harder to pressure someone if they’re not the final decision-maker. So take advantage of that.

Okay!

We have our first offer. Send a follow-up e-mail confirming all of the details you discussed with your recruiter so
you have a paper trail. Just say “just wanted to confirm I had all the details right.“

Groovy. Next step is to leverage this to land other offers and find the best deal we can find in the job market.

Getting other offers

Turns out, it doesn’t matter that much where your first offer is from, or even how much they’re offering you. Just
having an offer in hand will get the engine running.

If you’re already in the pipeline with other companies (which you should be if you’re doing it right), you should
proactively reach out and let them know that you’ve just received an offer. Try to build a sense of urgency.
Regardless of whether you know the expiration date, all offers expire at some point, so take advantage of that.

Hello [PERSON],

I just wanted to update you on my own process. I’ve just received an offer from [COMPANY] which
is quite strong. That said, I’m really excited about [YOUR AMAZING COMPANY] and really want to
see if we can make it work. Since my timeline is now compressed, is there anything you can do to
expedite the process?
Should you specifically mention the company that gave you an offer? Depends. If it’s a well-known company or a
competitor, then definitely mention it. If it’s a no-name or unsexy company, you should just say you received an
offer. If it’s expiring soon, you should mention that as well.

Either way, send out a letter like this to every single company you’re talking to. No matter how hopeless or
pointless you think your application is, you want to send this signal to everyone who is considering you in the
market.

Second, if there are any other companies you are looking to apply to (whether through referral or cold
application), or even companies at which you’ve already applied but haven’t heard back, I would also follow up
with a similar e-mail.

So why do this? Isn’t this tacky, annoying, or even desperate?

None of the above. It is the oldest method in history to galvanize a marketplace—show that supplies are limited
and build urgency. Demand breeds demand. Not every company will respond to this, but many will.

Isn’t it stupid that companies respond to this though?

Why companies care about other offers

When I wrote about the story of my own job search, I mentioned how having an offer from Google made
companies turn around and expedite me through their funnels. Many commentators lamented at the
capriciousness of these companies. If Uber or Twitch only talked to me because of Google and until then weren’t
willing to look at me, what did that say about their hiring processes? What legitimately are they evaluating, if
anything at all?

I think this response is totally backwards. The behavior of tech companies here is actually very rational, and you
would do well to understand it.

First, you must realize what a company’s goal is. A company’s goal is to hire someone who will become an
effective employee and produce more value than their cost. How do you figure out who will do that? Well, you
can’t know for certain without actually hiring them, but there are a few proxies. Pedigree is the strongest signal; if
they did it at other companies, they can probably do it at yours. And if someone trusted within the organization
can vouch for them, that’s often a strong signal as well.

But turns out, almost everything else is a weak signal. Weak in the sense that it’s just not very reliable. Interviews,
if you think about it, are long, sweaty, uncomfortable affairs that only glancingly resemble actual employment.
They’re weird and can’t tell you that much about whether an individual will be a good at their job. There’s no way
around this. There are a few stronger signals, like bringing someone in for a week or two on a contract-to-hire
position, but strong candidates won’t consider this. So candidates as a whole have effectively forced companies
to assume almost all of the risk in hiring.

The truth is, knowing that someone has passed your interview just doesn’t say that much about whether they’ll be
a good employee. It’s as though you knew nothing about a student other than their SAT score. It’s just not a lot of
data to go off.

Nobody has solved this problem. Not Google nor anyone else.

And this is precisely why it’s rational for companies to care that you’ve received other offers. They care because
each company knows that their own process is noisy, and the processes of most other companies are also noisy.
But a candidate having multiple offers means that they have multiple weak signals in their favor. Combined, these
converge into a much stronger signal than any single interview. It’s like knowing that a student has a strong SAT
score, and GPA, and won various scholarships. Sure, it’s still possible that they’re a dunce, but it’s much harder
for that to be true.

This is not to say that companies respond proportionally to these signals, or that they don’t overvalue credentials
and brands. They do. But caring about whether you have other offers and valuing you accordingly is completely
rational.

So this is all to say—tell other companies that you’ve received offers. Give them more signal so that they know
you’re a valued and compelling candidate. And understand why this changes their mind about whether to
interview you.

As you continue interviewing, remember to keep practicing your interview skills. The single strongest determinant
of your final offer will be the number and strength of offers that you receive.

Some advice on timing

You want to be strategic about the timing of your offers. Generally, you should try to start interviewing at larger
companies earlier. Their processes are slower and their offer windows are wider (meaning they allow you more
time to decide). Startups are the other way around.

Your goal should be to have as many offers overlapping at the same time as possible. This will maximize your
window for negotiating.

When you receive an offer, often the first thing you should ask for is more time to make your decision. Especially
in your first offer, more time is by far the most valuable thing you can ask for. It’s time that enables you to activate
other companies and end up with the strongest possible offer. So be prepared to fight for time.

How to approach exploding offers

Hoo boy.

Exploding offers are offers that expire within 24-72 hours. You won’t see this much at big companies, but they’re
becoming increasingly common among startups and mid-sized companies.

Exploding offers suck, and I share most people’s disdain for this practice. But I do understand it. Exploding offers
are a natural weapon for employers to combat a strong hiring market for tech workers. Companies know exactly
what they’re doing with exploding offers—they play on fear and limit your ability to seek out counteroffers.

In a sense, it’s unsurprising that if startups have more difficulty attracting and securing talent, they’d resort to this
practice. What I don’t like is the dishonesty about it. Employers often justify this by saying “If you need more time
than this, then that’s a sign you’re not the kind of person we’re looking for.“

Please don’t buy this crap or feel guilty over it. They’re simply doing this to improve their chance of closing
candidates. Needing more than three days to make a life decision isn’t a sign of anything other than
thoughtfulness.

So what should you do if you receive an exploding offer?

Exploding offers are anathema to your ability to effectively navigate the labor market. Thus, there is only one thing
to do. Treat the offer as a non-offer unless the expiration window is widened.
In no uncertain terms, convey that if the offer is exploding, it’s useless to you.

Example conversation:

I have one big concern. You mentioned that this offer explodes in 48 hours. I’m afraid this doesn’t
work at all for me. There’s no way that I can make a decision on this offer within a 48 hour window.
I’m currently wrapping up my interview process at a few other companies, which is likely to take me
another week or so. So I’m going to need more time to make an informed decision.

If they push back and say this is the best they can do, then politely reply:

That’s really unfortunate. I like [YOUR COMPANY] and was really excited about the team, but like I
said, there’s no way I can consider this offer. 48 hours just too unreasonable of a window. The next
company I join will be a big life decision for me, and I take my commitments very seriously. I also
need to consult with my [EXTERNAL_DECISION_MAKER]. There’s no way that I can make a
decision I’m comfortable with in this short an amount of time.

Pretty much any company will relent at this point. If they persist, don’t be afraid to walk away over it. (They
probably won’t let that happen, and will come grab you as you’re walking out the door. But if they don’t, then
honestly, screw ‘em.)

I was given several exploding offers during my job search. And every time, I did essentially this. Every single offer
immediately widened to become more reasonable, sometimes by several weeks.

I want to emphasize, lest I be misunderstood here—what I’m saying is not to just silently let an exploding offer
expire, and assume that everything will be fine and they’ll still hire you. They won’t. For exploding offers to be a
credible weapon, a company has to have a reputation of enforcing them. I’m saying explicitly call this out as an
issue when they make the offer.

Don’t let a company bully you into giving away your negotiating power.

The Negotiating Mindset

Before we enter into the actual back-and-forth, I want to examine the mindset you should have as a negotiator.
This applies not just to how you approach the conversation, but also to how you think about the company.

Do not fall into the trap of valuing companies solely along one dimension. That means don’t just value companies
based on salary, equity, or even on prestige. Those are all important dimensions, but so are cultural fit, the
challenge of the work, learning potential, later career options, quality of life, growth potential, and just overall
happiness. None of these inherently trump any of the other. Anyone who tells you “just choose wherever you think
you’ll be happiest” is being just as simplistic than someone who says “just choose the one that offers the most
money.” All of these things matter, and your decision should be genuinely multi-dimensional.

Be open to being surprised as you explore different companies.

It’s also important to understand that companies don’t all value you along the same dimension either. That is,
different companies are genuinely looking for different skills, and there are some companies at which you will be
more and less valuable. Even at peer companies this is true, especially so if you have a specialized skill-set.

The more companies you talk to, the more likely you are to find a company to which you are significantly more
valuable than the rest. Chances are this is where you’ll be able to negotiate your strongest offer. It might surprise
you which company this turns out to be; keep an open mind, and remember that a job search is a 2-sided
process.

One of the most valuable things you can do for yourself in this process is to really try to understand how
employers think and what motivates them. Understanding your interlocutor is extremely important in negotiation,
and we’ll be exploring that a lot in the next blog post.

But most of all I want to emphasize: be curious about the other side. Try to understand why employers think the
way they do. Be sympathetic toward them. Care about what they want and help them try to get it. Adopting this
mindset will make you a much stronger negotiator, and accordingly, a much better employee and team member.

Okay. That’s as far as we’re going for today. In the next blog post, I’m going to cover the last four rules of
negotiation. I’ll also go over the actual back-and-forth process—how to ask for what you want, how to strengthen
offers, and how to dismantle the tricks that companies will try to pull on you. Also a lot more on the theory of
negotiation, which I really dig.

Do share this post if you found it useful! And follow me on Twitter.

You can read part 2 here!

Until next time,

Haseeb

How Not to Bomb Your Offer Negotiation

So you know the first 6 rules. You’ve maneuvered through the initial offer conversation, you’ve lined up
counteroffers from other companies, and now it’s time to move into the actual negotiating.

Naturally, this is the part where everything goes horribly wrong.

But worry not. Stick with me, and I’m going to make you into a superhuman negotiator. (Or at least an eccentric
billionaire negotiator, which is sometimes better?)

Seriously though. In this article I’m going to deep dive on the whole negotiating process, and discuss the final 4
rules on how to negotiate a job offer.

Right. Let’s start from the top.

What does it take to be a good negotiator?

Most people think negotiating well is just looking the other person in the eye, appearing confident, and asking for
tons of money. But being a good negotiator is a lot more subtle than that.

What Good Negotiators Sound Like

You probably have a friend or family member who’s infamous for refusing to take no for an answer. The kind of
person who will march into a department store and bullheadedly argue with the management until they get a
purchase refunded.
This person seems like they often get what they want. They make you cringe, but perhaps you should try to be
more like them.

Rest assured, this person is actually a terrible negotiator. They’re good at being difficult and causing a scene,
which can sometimes convince a waitress or shift manager to appease them. But this style of negotiating will get
you nowhere when negotiating with a business partner (that is, an employer).

A good negotiator is empathetic and collaborative. They don’t try to control you or issue ultimatums. Rather, they
try to think creatively about how to fulfill both your and their needs.

So when you think of negotiating a job offer, don’t imagine haggling over a used car. Think more like negotiating
dinner plans with a group of friends, and you’ll fare much better.

Slicing up the cake

Another important difference between good and bad negotiators is that bad negotiators tend to think of a
negotiation as a zero-sum game.

Imagine we’re negotiating over a cake. In a zero-sum negotiation if I get one more slice, you get one less. Any
gain I make comes at your expense.

This seems obviously true with cake, right? So what makes a job negotiation any different?

Ah, but it’s not actually true for cake. What if I hate corner pieces and you love them? What if I really like the
cherries? What if I prefer to scrape off some of the frosting, but you love extra frosting? What if I’m full and you’re
starving, but you’ll agree to treat me to my favorite cake next time?

Of course, when I posed the question I didn’t mention anything about cherries or my feelings on corner pieces. It
might seem like I just made shit up.

But this is exactly what good negotiators do. They bend the rules. They question assumptions and ask
unexpected questions. They dig to find the core what everyone values and looks for creative ways to widen the
terrain of negotiation.

While you were thinking about how to haggle over slices, I’m thinking about how to give both of us more than just
half of a cake.

Different parties in a negotiation almost always have different value functions. We may value the same things—we
both care about cake, after all. But we we don’t value them in exactly the same way, so there’s probably a way to
give each of us more of what we want.

Most people go into a job negotiation thinking they need to stubbornly haggle over salary like slices of cake. They
don’t ever stop to ask—hey, what do I actually value? Why do I value it? What does the company value? Why do
they value that?

There are many dimensions in a job negotiation: salary, signing bonus, stock, a year-end or performance bonus,
commuter benefits, relocation expenses, equipment, an educational stipend, a childcare stipend, extra vacation
time, a later start date, getting a dedicated hour a day to work out or study or meditate or play solitaire. You could
choose which team you’re assigned to, what your first project will be, what technologies you’ll be working with,
and sometimes even choose your title.
Maybe you’re a frosting person, and the company is more into cherries. You never know if you don’t ask. Hold
onto this mindset.

Okay. Let’s pick up the negotiation where we left off. All the offers are in, and recruiters are eagerly awaiting for
you to get the ball rolling. Let’s start negotiating.

Phone vs Email
Your first decision is whether you’re going to negotiate over the phone or keep it over e-mail.

Talking on the phone not only signals confidence, but more importantly, it allows you to build a strong relationship
with your recruiter.

Talking on the phone enables bantering, telling jokes, and building connection. You want your recruiter to like you,
understand you, empathize with you, and want you to succeed. Likewise, you want to care about your recruiter
and understand what’s motivating them.

The best deals get made between friends. It’s hard to make friends over e-mail.

However, if you don’t have confidence in your negotiation skills, you should try to push the negotiation to e-mail.
Written, asynchronous communication will give you more time to strategize and make it easier to say
uncomfortable things without being pressured by a recruiter.

That said, recruiters will always prefer to get you on the phone. It’s essentially their home turf. They’re also well
aware that negotiating is easier over e-mail, and they have little interest in making it easier on you. They’ll often
be vague about the offer over e-mail and only offer to discuss specific details on the phone.

If you want to stick to email, you have to push back against this. There’s no secret to it: just be honest and ask for
what you want.

Tell them:

Hi recruiter, I hope your day is treating you well!

Re: your previous e-mail, I’d prefer to discuss the details of the offer over e-mail. I sometimes get
nervous during important phone calls, so discussing the offer over e-mail helps me to keep a clear
head and communicate more clearly. I hope this is okay with you. :)

No bullshit, no huff-puffery. Just telling the truth and asking for what you want.

There’s tremendous power in honesty and directness. Take advantage of it.

(Also, note how I wrote “discuss the details of the offer” rather than “negotiate.” Never describe what you’re doing
as negotiating—that sounds immediately adversarial and haggley. Describe it instead as a discussion, and they’re
less likely to recoil.)

Having Alternatives
I mentioned before how essential it is to have multiple offers. I’ll reiterate again—it’s very, very valuable to have
multiple offers.
With other offers on the table, if your negotiation doesn’t work out, they know you’ll just accept another offer. Your
negotiating position suddenly becomes a lot more credible because they know you’re willing to walk away.

This effect is strengthened if you get an offer from a prestigious company. And the effect goes through the roof if
you have an offer from a company’s primary competitor (now they’ll really want to poach you from the big bad
competitor-corp).

Some of this behavior is stupid tribalism. And some part of it is rational in trying to deprive competitors of talent.
Either way, take advantage of it, and be tactical in which companies you aim for.

But what if you don’t manage to get any other offers? Does all the negotiating just go out the window?

Not at all. What’s important here is not actually having other offers. More specifically, it’s in having strong
alternatives. Which is why Rule #6 of negotiating is: have alternatives.

A negotiation needs stakes. If there were no risk and you knew for sure the other side would sign a contract, what
incentive would you have to offer them anything more?

Your alternatives are what give a negotiation its stakes. By signaling your alternatives, you allow your interlocutor
to develop a mental model of when and why you’ll walk away from the negotiation. Your alternatives also have an
anchoring effect on how much the other side thinks you’re objectively worth.

In negotiation literature, your best alternative is often referred to as your BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated
Agreement). Basically, it’s what you’d do if you walked away.

I like the term BATNA a lot, mostly because it sounds like a gadget Batman would lob at bad guys.

So what’s your BATNA if you don’t have other offers? Do you even have one?

Of course you do. Your best alternative might be “interview at more companies” or “go to grad school” or “stay at
your current job” or “go on sabbatical in Morocco for a few months” (as it was for a friend of mine who was
deliberating between joining a startup and gallivanting through North Africa).

The point is, you don’t need to have another offer to have a strong BATNA. Your BATNA’s strength comes from 1)
how strong the other side perceives it to be, and 2) how strong you perceive it to be.

If your recruiter thinks that going to grad school is an awesome thing to do, then they’ll see you as having a very
strong alternative, and the stakes of the negotiation will be raised.

But even if they think grad school is ridiculous, if you convince them that you’d be totally happy to go to grad
school, then the burden is on them to make this deal more attractive to you than going to grad school.

Thus, you need to communicate your BATNA. This doesn’t need to be ham-fisted, but you need to make it a
background to the negotiation. (Note: usually whenever you signal your BATNA, you should also re-emphasize
your interest in reaching an agreement).

Examples:

I’ve received another offer from [OTHER CORP] that’s very compelling on salary, but I really love the
mission of [YOUR COMPANY] and think that it would overall be a better fit for me.
 I’m also considering going back to grad school and getting a Master’s degree in Postmodern
Haberdashery. I’m excited about [YOUR COMPANY] though and would love to join the team, but the
package has to make sense if I’m going to forego a life of ironic hatmaking.

Note: one of the biggest mistakes I see here is from people who are currently working. If you already have a job,
staying where you are is often your BATNA.

This means if you tell your interlocutor that you hate your job, then they know your BATNA sucks, and have no
incentive to negotiate with you (on top of potentially thinking that you’re a negative person). Always emphasize the
pros of your current company, your seniority, your impact, and whatever else you like about where you currently
work.

You should make your decision seem genuinely close for it to be a strong BATNA.

What a Job Negotiation Means to an Employer

I’ve kept saying that to be an effective negotiator you need to understand the other side. So let’s take a look at
what it’s like to negotiate as an employer. (I’m going to have to use the tech industry in my examples here; the
details will differ by industry.)

First, we have to rewind and understand what brought us to this offer in the first place. What kind of resources
have they spent so far in trying to fill this position?

● Writing and posting a job description on all appropriate channels ($300)

● Reviewing ~100 or more resumes ($1250)
● About 15% of those resumes need to be phone screened, so roughly 15 phone screens ($2250)
● Around 75% of those initial phone screens warrant a technical screen, so roughly 11 technical screens
($9000)
● About 30% pass through to an on-site, so roughly 3 onsites. These onsites require the coordination of 6-7
employees ($10800)
● Finally, they make one offer. The recruiter (and potentially the executive staff) need to spend time on the
phone with the offeree convincing and negotiating. ($900)

Numbers nabbed from here.

All-in-all this process took about 45 days from start to finish.

Now say you end up turning down their offer. They’ve spent over $24,000 just extending this single offer to you (to
say nothing of opportunity costs), and now they’ll essentially have to start over from scratch.

This is what a company faces if you turn them down.

Realize what a gauntlet they’ve been through!

Realize how important it is that you’re the one!

Out of the droves and droves who’ve shown up on their doorstep, you’re the one they want. They want to usher
you into their tribe. They went through so much crap to get you here, and now they’ve found you.

And you’re worried that if you negotiate, they’ll take it away?

Further yet, understand that salary is only one part of the cost of employing you. An employer also has to pay for
your benefits, your equipment, space, utilities, other random expenses, and employment taxes on top of all of
that. All-in, your actual salary often comprises less than 50% of the total cost of employing you.

(Which means they expect that your value to the company, in terms of the revenue you’ll generate, to be more
than 2x your salary. If they didn’t believe that, they wouldn’t be hiring you at all.)

So, this is all to say: everything is stacked in your favor. It doesn’t feel that way, but it absolutely is.

Realize that when you are agonizing over whether to ask for another few thousand dollars, what they’re doing is
praying with bated breath that you’ll sign the offer.

If you don’t sign the offer, they lose. Losing a good candidate sucks. No one wants to believe that their company
isn’t worth working for.

They want to win. They will pay to win.

And yet, you might worry: “but if end up negotiating more, won’t they have higher expectations? Won’t my boss
end up hating me for negotiating?”

No, and no.

It’s your role that will determine your performance expectations, not how much you negotiated. Making 5k more or
less in salary doesn’t matter at all. Your manager will literally just not care about this.

Remember how expensive it is to even employ you in the first place! Nobody’s going to fire you because you’re
performing 5K worse than they expected you to; the cost of firing you and hiring someone else is a lot more than
5K to begin with.

And no, your boss won’t hate you now. And in fact, at most big companies the person you’re negotiating with
won’t even be your boss. Recruiting and management are totally separate departments, completely abstracted
from one another. And even if you’re at a startup, trust me that your boss is used to negotiating with candidates
and doesn’t put nearly as much significance in it as you do.

In short: negotiating is easier and more normal than you think, and companies are completely willing to negotiate
with you. If your intuition tells you otherwise, trust that your mental model is wrong.

How to Give the First Number

In part 1, I mentioned how valuable it is not to have to give the first number. But there are times when you can’t
avoid it. In that case, there are ways to give the first number without giving the first number.

If a company asks you “what are your salary expectations?” you might say:

I don’t have any particular numbers in mind. I’m more interested in learning whether this will be a
good mutual fit. If it is, I’m open to exploring any offer so long as it’s competitive.

Sounds good. But they push back,

I understand that, but we need to have a clear idea of what you think is competitive. I need to know
whether it’s worth going through the interview process. We’re a young startup, so I need to make
sure we’re on the same page as far as compensation.
That’s a strong push. But you can still push back.

I completely hear you, and I agree it’s important that we’re on the same page. I really have no
particular numbers in my head, it all depends on the fit and the composition of the offer. Once we
decide we want to work together, I think that’s the best time to figure out a compensation package
that makes sense.

Most employers will relent here. But there’s a small chance they push further:

Okay, look, you’re being difficult. Let’s not waste each other’s time. What’s an offer that you’d be
willing to take?

This is a decision point. They’re trying to take away your negotiating power and pin you to a premature decision.

That said, you probably will have to say a number at this point, or risk damaging the trust in this relationship.
(They are making a valid point that startups can’t offer the same kind of cash as large companies, nor should you
expect them to. They might be sensing that you’re not aware of this.)

But you can give a number here without actually giving a number.

Well, okay. I know that the average software engineer in Silicon Valley makes roughly 120K a year
salary. So I think that’s a good place to start.

Notice what I did here. I didn’t actually answer the question “what’s an offer you’d be willing to take,” I merely
anchored the conversation around the fulcrum of “the average software engineer salary.”

So if you’re forced to give a number, do so by appealing to an objective metric, such as an industry average (or
your current salary). And make it clear that you’re merely starting the negotiation there, not ending it.

How to Ask for More

Say an offer is out there, and now you want to improve it. As always, be direct and ask for what you want. Here
are generally the steps you should take.

First, reiterate your interest in the company. This is as simple as:

I’m really excited about the problems you guys are working on at Evil Corp…

Now frame why you’re asking for more. There are two choices here: you can say that you’re on the fence and that
an improvement might convince you, or you can go stronger and say that you’re outright dissatisfied with the offer.
Which approach you choose depends on how much leverage you have, how weak the offer is relative to your
BATNA, and whether you have other offers (the weaker your negotiating position, generally the more tentative you
should be).

Either way, be unfailingly polite.

If you’re dissatisfied with the offer, you might say something like:

I appreciate the work you guys put into constructing this offer. But there were a couple things I was
unsatisfied with.

If you want to be more reserved, you can say something like:

 The offer you guys extended was strong. Right now my decision is basically between you and [XYZ
CORP]. It’s a genuinely difficult decision for me, but there are a couple of dimensions where, if this
offer improved, it would be much more compelling.

Don’t just say something like:

Thanks for the offer. Here are some ways I think it could improve.

This makes you sound like an ass. Be polite, and if you want to strengthen the offer, tell them clearly how you feel
about it. This builds trust and conveys seriousness.

Let’s say you want to raise the salary. Now that you have a specific ask, it’s time to employ rule #7: proclaim
reasons for everything.

We all implicitly know the catch-22 of negotiation: if you say you want more salary, you’ll sound greedy. And no
one likes greedy people, right? So why would they want to give more money to a greedy person?

I suspect this is the primary reason why so many candidates recoil from negotiating. They don’t want to feel
greedy. It goes against all of their social conditioning. And yet, there are some situations in which most people
would be totally fine negotiating.

Specifically, when they have to.

If you had to raise your salary or you wouldn’t be able to afford rent, or if you had to negotiate health insurance to
cover a medical condition, you’d negotiate without a twinge of regret. The difference? That you have a reason for
what you’re requesting.

It’s kind of a brain-hack, both for yourself and for your negotiating partner. Just stating a reason—any
reason—makes your request feel human and important. It’s not you being greedy, it’s you trying to fulfill your
goals.

The more unobjectionable and sympathetic your reason, the better. If it’s medical expenses, or paying off student
loans, or taking care of family, you’ll bring tears to their eyes. I told employers that I was earning-to-give, so since I
was donating 33% of my income to charity, I had negotiate aggressively to leave myself enough to live off.

But honestly, even if your reason is inane and unimpressive, it will still carry this effect.

Just saying “can you improve the salary?” sounds like you’re boringly motivated by money. But if you say “I really
want to buy a house within the next year; what can we do to improve the salary?” this suddenly seems a lot more
legitimate.

If they turn down your request now, they’re implicitly telling you “no Jennifer, you can’t buy your house. I guess
you don’t deserve one.” No one wants to do that. They want to be the one who says “Alright Jennifer, I talked with
the director and I made it happen. You’re getting that new house!”

Of course, it goes without saying that the reason you want money is so that you can spend it on things. What do
they think you’re going to use it for, toilet paper?

I know. It’s stupid. It’s really stupid, but it works.

Just go with it, state a reason for everything, and you’ll find recruiters more willing to become your advocate.
Assert your Value
One effective move you can make in a negotiation, especially after an ask, is to emphasize the unique value you’ll
be bringing to the company. Example:

Blah blah blah, I want X, Y, and Z.

I know that you guys are looking for someone to build out your Android team. I believe I bring a lot of
experience leading a team of Android developers and I’m confident that I’ll be able to bring your
mobile offerings up to parity with your competitors.

Let me know your thoughts.

Be confident without boasting or trying to hold yourself specific metrics (unless you’re supremely confident).
Whatever you assert should be something you’ve touched on earlier in your discussions, but it’s okay to repeat it
now as a gentle reminder. It reminds them of the carrot and shows that you’re still excited to add value.

This is not appropriate in every negotiation, especially for very junior positions, where it’s harder to differentiate
yourself. But later in your career (or for more specialized/consulting roles) this can be a really valuable nudge.

What to Ask For

This brings me to rule #8: be motivated by more than just money. Note, this is not code for “if you seem like
you’re motivated by more than just money, you’ll get more money.”

There is no bigger turn-off to a company than somebody who only cares about money. This is something you’re
not going to be able to fake.

Actually be motivated by other things. You should be motivated by money too of course, but it should be one
among many dimensions you’re optimizing for. How much training you get, what your first project will be, which
team you join, or even who your mentor will be—these are all things you can and should negotiate.

Among these factors, salary is perhaps the least important.

What do you really value? Be creative. Don’t try to haggle over slices of cake when there’s so much more on the
table.

Of course, to negotiate well you need to understand the other side’s preferences. You want to make the deal
better for both of you. That’s why rule #9 is: understand what the company values.

How do you figure this out? Well, there are a few good rules of thumb.

First, salary is almost always the hardest thing to give, for a few reasons.

1. It must be paid year after year, so it becomes part of a company’s long-term burn rate.
2. It is almost always the thing that people gossip about, so paying someone significantly more salary can
cause unrest.
3. It tends to be the most tightly constrained by pay bands, especially at large companies.

So if you want more financial compensation, you should think about structuring as much of it as possible outside
of salary. A signing bonus, for example, is easier to give than salary. A signing bonus has the advantage of only
needing to be paid once, it gets the candidate excited about joining (because everyone likes wads of cash), and
it’s generally not as public.

Remember that you can always get salary raises as you continue to work at the company, but there’s only one
point at which you can get a signing bonus.

The easiest thing for a company to give though is stock (if the company offers stock). Companies like giving stock
because it invests you in the company and aligns interests. It also shifts some of the risk from the company over
to you and burns less cash.

If you are genuinely risk-neutral or early in your career, then you should generally try to assume as much stock as
possible. If you aggressively trade cash for stock, you can end up with a higher expected value offer (albeit with
higher risk).

A Brief Primer on Equity

You can skip this section if you’re already pretty familiar with how equity works. I’m going to speaking to the totally
uninitiated here, because too many people get swindled when it comes to valuing stock.

First, understand there are two completely different classes of companies: public companies and private
companies. If the company is public (i.e., it has IPOed and is listed on the stock market), then its stock is as good
as cash. You will usually be granted RSUs (Restricted Stock Units), which are just shares like you can purchase
on the stock market. Once these shares vest (that is, are released to you), you can turn around and sell them on
the stock market. This is how they turn into money.

If the company is private, then things get a lot more complicated. For private companies, most of the time they will
not actually issue you stock grants. Usually, they will issue you stock options. An option is a pre-agreed right to
purchase shares of stock at a frozen price.

It’s important to note that when you want to leave a company, if you have options, your life becomes really
complicated. You may have to pay a bunch of money to actually exercise your option (that is, buy your pre-agreed
upon stock at the previous frozen price, or risk losing it), with no way to actually sell it yet. The only way to truly
liquidate your options is when the company IPOs or is acquired. And many companies don’t ever do either.

Thus, options are very risky. It’s easier to get screwed by options, especially on tax implications. For a lot more
information, see this post by Scott Kupor of a16z.

Equity Shenanigans
Many companies will try to play mindgames with you when it comes to equity. Several companies pulled these on
me.

A common one is presenting the total value of the stock grant rather than the annualized value, despite the the
stock not vesting evenly, or vesting over 5 years instead of the standard 4.

But the most egregious thing that companies will do is tell you absurd stories about the value of their stock. They’ll
say: “okay, we’re worth this much now, but at the rate we’re growing we’re going to be worth 10X that in a year. So
really, the value of your options is many millions of dollars!”
To not mince words: this is cynically dishonest bullshit. Don’t buy it even for a second. I got this a few times, and
the only reason I didn’t walk away from the offer immediately was because it was always a recruiter pulling this
crap. If it was a manager I would’ve turned down the offer outright.

Here’s why this is infuriatingly stuptags: [a company’s valuation is determined by investors. These investors see
the financials and the growth rate of the company, and invest at a price that reflects the current growth rate of
the company. In other words, they invested at a valuation that already took their 10x growth rate into account.
Investors are not idiots. And unless you (or your recruiter) think you have privileged information or insight that the
company’s investors don’t, you should probably take the investors’ word for it.

(Not to mention a company’s nominal valuation is almost always inflated due to preferred shares, debt, and
survivorship bias, but let’s ignore that for now.)

So if a company gives you this hock of crap, fire back and tell them thank you, but you’ll be considering the stock
at the same valuation their investors valued it at. I mean, be nice. But don’t let them try to strong-arm you into
accepting this garbage.

A job is not a suicide pact. Choose a company that is judicious and transparent, and you’ll be much more likely to
find yourself respected and taken care of.

Other Things You Can Ask For

Because I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out a few other things. Relocation expenses often come out of separate
budgets at big companies, so this is generally very easy to get. Look for creative benefits that would be
particularly valuable to you. Maybe it’s covering your commuter expenses, asking for dedicated volunteer or
learning time, getting sponsored for conferences, or even charity donation matching. Don’t assume anything’s off
the table until you’ve tried bringing it up.

That said, don’t throw the entire kitchen sink at them. A negotiation can quickly become cumbersome for an
employer if you bring up a litany of changes. Keep the changeset as pithy as you can.

Negotiating Jiu Jitsu

Recruiters love trying to trick you into ending the negotiation early. They’re going to do this relentlessly. Don’t fault
them for it—I suspect they can’t help themselves.

Just keep breaking out of their shenanigans, and don’t let yourself be pressured into ending a negotiation until
you’re actually ready to make a final decision. This is especially grave if you have multiple offers, and you let one
company pressure you into canceling the others. Companies succeed in doing this all the time, so I want to equip
you with the skills to jiu jitsu out of these techniques.

Here are two situations you can break out of. (These are both real situations that happened to me during my
negotiations, though the numbers and details are invented.)

Situation 1:

I ask for a 10K increase in signing bonus. The company gets back to me and says,

That’s really tough for us to do. I’m going to try, I think you’re worth it, but I can’t really go to my boss
and fight for you unless she knows you’re going to sign. Are you going to sign if I get you that 10K?
You should be thinking: ah, this person is trying to force me to a decision point and take away my negotiating
power.

I respond:

Okay, so what I’m hearing is that you’ll have to expend some personal reputation to get me a 10K
bonus. If you end up going to bat for me, are you confident you’ll be able to get that 10K?

They respond:

I think I can, it just comes down to you Haseeb. If you’re serious about joining us, then I’ll go fight for
you. But I need to know for sure you’ll sign.

Great. Time to Jiu Jitsu.

That makes sense. Unfortunately I can’t commit to signing yet; I’m not yet at the stage where I can
make a final decision. Like I told you before, this weekend I’m going to sit down with my family and
talk things over with them. Choosing the company I’m going to spend the next few years at is a
commitment I take really seriously, and so I want to be sure I’m making a well-considered decision.

But since you’re confident that you can get an extra 10K, let’s do this instead: in my mind, I’ll pretend
this offer is [X + 10K] and as I’m considering my final decision, that’s where I’ll value it. I know it’s
tough for you to go and get that from your boss, so I don’t want you to do that until I’m certain I’m
going to sign.

They then vaguely recant and promptly get approval for the 10K bonus.

Situation 2:

I ask for a 20% increase in stock package. The hiring manager, knowing that I’m negotiating with other
companies, then fires back:

I want to get this stock package for you. And I know I can, we’ve got the budget. But before I do that,
I need your word on something.

What’s that?

I need you to give me your word that if I improve your offer, you’re not going to just turn around and
take our counter-offer to [COMPETITOR_COMPANY] to improve your offer with them.

You should be thinking: so basically they’re asking me not to negotiate. Cute.

Let me see if I understand what you’re saying. You are willing to improve my offer, but only if I agree
that I won’t tell [COMPETITOR] what you’re offering me. Is that correct?

Well no, I can’t legally do that. What I mean is…what I mean is, look. I like you. But if I improve your
offer and you just take our offer to [COMPETITOR], you’ll be violating my trust.

Okay, let me be sure I understand you here. If you give me this offer and I tell [COMPETITOR], I will
be violating the trust under which you’re granting me this improved offer. Is that correct?
 Uhh…Look. How about this. In my mind, I’m going to go get you this stock package okay? And in
my head, I’m going to do it with the assumption that you’re the kind of person I think you are, and
you’re going to consider our offer in its own right and not just shop it around. Fair enough?

I nod. He gets the improved offer. I continue to negotiate. Antics averted.

(In case you’re wondering, if he had said “yes,” I would have turned down the proposal.)

The Path to Signing

It’s not enough to just continually ask for stuff. Companies need to sense that you’re actually moving toward a
final decision, and not just playing games with them.

Your goal in a negotiation is not to be difficult or elusive. True, you should assert your value and carefully consider
your options, but you can do so in a way that’s respectful and considerate toward the companies you’re talking to.

Don’t go dark on people. Be open and communicative. I keep saying be honest and I mean it—be honest.

Aside: I keep talking about honesty, and you might protest that this is antithetical to my earlier rule of “protect
information.” It’s not. True, you should protect information that might weaken your negotiating position, but you
should be as communicative as possible about everything else (which is most things).

Negotiating is all about relationship, and communication is the bedrock of any relationship.

This brings me to the the final rule: be winnable. This is more than just giving the company the impression that
you like them (which you continually should). But more so that you must give any company you’re talking to a
clear path on how to win you. Don’t bullshit them or play stupid games. Be clear and unequivocal with your
preferences and timeline.

If there is nothing that a company could do to sign you, or you don’t actually want to work for them, then don’t
negotiate with them. Period.

Don’t waste their time or play games for your own purposes. Even if the company isn’t your dream company, you
must be able to imagine at least some package they could offer you that would make you sign. If not, politely turn
them down.

It costs each company money to interview you and to negotiate with you. I didn’t negotiate with every company I
received an offer from, but if there was one key mistake I made in my job search, it was that I still negotiated with
too many (in large part because I didn’t think my job search would be successful).

Making the Final Decision

Okay, it’s decision time.

(Yes, you do have to make one.)

Three things to keep in mind here:

1. Be clear about your deadline.

2. Assert your deadline continually.
3. Use your final decision as your trump card.
When you start negotiating you don’t have to be clear about your timeline because you probably don’t have one
yet. But once you get into intermediary stages, you should set for yourself a deadline on which you’ll sign. It can
be for an arbitrary reason (or no reason at all), but just pre-committing to a deadline will allow you to negotiate
more clearly and powerfully.

“A weekend with the family.” I found works nicely, as it has the added benefit of roping other decision makers in.
Then when companies push you to end negotiations early, you can re-assert this deadline.

Companies should all be totally aware of when you’re going to make your decision. This will raise the stakes and
galvanize negotiations as the deadline approaches.

This deadline also lets you defer your decision while still improving offers. Your narrative should basically be “I
want to see the strongest offer your company can muster. Then I will go into my cave, meditate for 10 days, and
when I emerge I will have decided in my heart which company to join.” This gives you enormous power to avoid
any on-the-spot decision points or premature promises.

Eventually, deadline day will come. Try to make this a business day (say, a Friday or a Monday) so that you can
communicate with recruiters during this day. If a hail mary is going to happen, it’ll happen here.

Even if there’s only one company in the running, you should always always wait until the last day to sign your
offer. Yes, even if you’re certain you’re going to sign and even if it’s your dream job. I’ve seen many scenarios in
which offers spontaneously improved as deadlines approached, or a fallen player gets up and presents you the
holy grail in the 11th hour. Either way, there’s no harm.

Finally, your trump card. Save this for the very end. Your trump card is these words: “If you can do X, I will sign.”
Note, this is NOT “If you give me X, the offer will be more compelling blah blah blah.” Fuck that. It’s time to make
a promise.

Every company that’s still on the table, let them know what it would take to sign you (unless there’s nothing they
could do). And when you make the final ask, don’t forget reason-giving, even if it’s the same reason as before!

Hi Joel, I’ve been thinking it over and it’s genuinely a really tough decision for me. I loved everyone
at [COMPANY] but the one thing that makes it hard for me is the salary. As you know I’m trying to
pay off my student loans so salary is really important to me right now. If you can improve the salary
by 10K a year, then I’ll be totally ready to sign.

With luck, they meet you half-way. Or, with a little more luck, they’ll meet you all the way.

And just because I know someone will ask—yes, once say you’re going to sign, you should always sign. Never go
back on your word. It’s a small world, people talk, and these kind of things will come back to haunt you. (More
importantly, never go back on your word because you’re the kind of person who never goes back on their word.)

Tell all of the other parties that you’ve made your final decision. Thank them for the negotiation. If you did it well,
they’ll usually thank you back, tell you to keep in touch, and to reach out again in a couple years next time you’re
on the market.

And that’s it. You did it! Congratulations! You’re still alive, right?

…You’re not moving.

Well, that’s fine. It’s time to celebrate your new job, you beautiful fool! (Drinks are on you.)
If you got some value out of this article, share it with a friend who’d benefit from it. Or better yet, follow me on
Twitter and I can be your friend.

There’s a lot more in the works.

Until next time,

Haseeb