Not your Magic 8 ball.

What can you see?

I get asked this question a lot. But how do I describe that which I have always known? Something that I have no comparison for.

I was born with my condition, in fact, I inherited it, gotta love genes.

Women in my family carry a gene which is passed to males. There's no real pattern, it just kind of happens. The outcome for males is ocular albinism. For me, this was served with a side of nystagmus. In non-medical terms, I'm the same as an albino, only with pigmentation, and my eyes like to go for uncontrolled rolls/walks/dances. They are my disco eyes.

I have not known any other sight but the one I was born with.

I often wonder if I flipped this question and asked the person, what can you see, what would their response be? How would they describe their sight? How would they describe something they most likely take for granted every day?

 When I tell people I'm Registered Blind, they assume I have zero sight. When I show up and break their minds stereotype, it's unsurprising I get asked, "What can you see?"

That's the thing about Disability; people aren't aware, so they are curious. And sadly, in some instances, they disbelieve. "Well, you can't be Blind because you don't have a guide dog."

A stereotype that all blind people have a guide dog. All blind people use a cane. All blind people read and write Braille. These sorts of stereotypes are ableist thinking.

Ableist thinking is not always stereotyping or making biased judgments about a Disabled person. Oh no. It's behaviors, attitudes, and it's the belief that Disabled people are less than or a problem to be fixed.

Growing up in Northern Ireland, it's always been clear to me that generational trauma and, in a lot of cases, hatred was passed on. People pass beliefs and biases onto children and they grow into adults with similar or shared views. This is the same for ableism. It is passed from one generation to the next.

Kids see Disabled kids being segregated in education, so they grow up witnessing segregation, and that it's okay to do. We learn how to respond or speak about Disability from those around us, parents, siblings, caregivers, family, and friends, even through media and online. It's from those responses that we learn. Speak with pity about Disability, and the person learns pity for Disabled People. Make derogatory jokes or use outdated language, and others pick this language up and use it. The cycle continues.

We are not taught about Disability, and so our minds' ableist thinking usually does a lot of the steering for us.

When you come across the word Disabled or Disability what comes to mind?

For many, it will be a visibly Disabled Person. And therein lies, in part, some of the problem. People assume that to be Disabled is to have a physical, visible Disability. Which we all know is not the case. Disability is diverse. No two individuals will ever have the same experience, we are only experts on our own life experiences. Disability also has no one appearance and no way of being experienced. So when you disbelieve or make comments like, “Well if you're Disabled where's your…” or “You don't look Disabled,” all you do is reinforce your own gap in learning.

These comments, which many of us experience, only serve as a reminder of just how much ableism is ingrained in people's thinking, yet people do not realise it.

When we talk about ableism, we have to call it what it is. Oppression.

To be Disabled is to be viewed as “special,” someone to pity or someone to inspire. “Well if they can do it you can do it.” A piece of our identity that can stop us from being included because, surprise surprise, the world isn't accessible. People assume what we can and cannot do. And people more than often believe they should be free to question a person's Disability.

This is a catch-22 situation because Disabled People, don't always want to be educating. We don't want to answer questions that have no relevance to the conversation or when we're asking for support.

But equally, there is not enough education or awareness on Ableism or Disability, and so more often than not, we have no option but to educate. To challenge the ableist thinking we seem to never overcome.

So what should you ask when someone shares they are Disabled?

Well, firstly, thank the person for sharing. They have just opened up to you and shared a piece of their identity, so thank them for being so open. Then, rather than ask us probing questions or let your curiosity run wild, ask yourself:

Am I asking these follow-up questions because I need to know or because I'm being nosey? Will this information help me support this person, or am I just asking for the sake of asking?

Our sharing isn't to make you feel uncomfortable, so you do not need to break what you assume is an uncomfortable silence by saying or asking something ableist.

• We do not need to be reassured we don't look Disabled.

• We do not need ableist comments or questions.

• We do not need to be quizzed on our Disability.

• And we most certainly do not need you to be educators if we don't feel like it.

Remember Disabled People are not your Magic 8 Ball.

And that is my ramble!!!

Unlearning Ablesim

If you would like to learn more about how to unlearn Ableism please join Celia Chartres-Aris (née Hensman) and me for the second episode of our brand new LinkedIn Live series, Unlearning Ableism, with guests Isaac Harvey MBE and Brooke Millhouse.

Date: February 29th

Time: 1 pm GMT

Learn more or sign up to attend the LinkedIn Live event.

Are you looking for your next Speaker or Trainer?

If you would like to arrange a training or passionate speaking engagement for your organization on the topic of Ableism or Internalized Ableism, please reach out to Jamie Shields or send me an email: [email protected].

(Please note I also speak about accessibility, recruitment, neurodivergence, autism, and much more!)

Until Until Next time......

Love from this Registered Blind AuDHD Rhino

[email protected]

www.disabledbysociety.com

#TuesdayThoughts #Ablesim #DiversityAndInclusion #DisabilityInclusion