A Tragedy We Could Have Prevented: The Loss of Five Lives in Rangpuri Feels Personal!
Having worked for eight years with Children with Disabilities and their families in urban slums of Delhi, I have seen firsthand the daily battles they face. Each time a Child with Disabilities succumbs to death, something inside me shifts—a sense of helplessness, despair, and a deep, searing anger. It's a reminder of a system that repeatedly fails those who need it the most.
The news of a man and his four daughters dying by suicide in Rangpuri, which I read early that morning, shook me to my core. Though I had no direct connection to the family, it felt deeply personal, as though someone close to me had passed.
This loss feels personal because, at its heart, it was preventable. It’s a reflection of our collective failure.
A Tragic Reminder: The Impact of Disability Without Support
The news of a father and his four disabled daughters found dead after consuming poison in Delhi’s Rangpuri Pahadi is a sobering reminder of how devastating the lack of support can be. The father, overwhelmed by the challenges of raising four children with disabilities and without adequate support, may have felt that there was no way out. This isn’t an isolated incident. I’ve met families who face similar despair, where disability becomes a reason not to live anymore and especially when they are single parents. Could this tragedy have been prevented if the father had access to a support group, financial aid, or simply someone to listen to his grief? I believe so.
The Problematic Media Narrative: Equating Disability with Suffering
One of the most troubling aspects of how the media handles such tragedies is the narrative it builds around disability. Headlines often read out that families "suffer from disability," as if death and disability are synonymous. This kind of language dehumanises individuals with disabilities and shifts the blame onto them. In situations like this, it almost implies that the daughters, by virtue of their disabilities, were somehow responsible for the father's tragic decision.
Disability is not a reason to live in despair, yet the media's portrayal suggests that a life with disability is one of constant suffering, without joy or possibility. In my experience, nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve worked with children who have disabilities but live full, happy lives with the right support. They dream, they laugh, and they have as much potential for joy as anyone else. It is not their disabilities that trap them; it is the lack of resources, societal understanding, and inclusive infrastructure that often keeps them confined.
This narrative does a disservice not only to the individuals but also to the families who are left grappling with immense emotional and financial strain, often feeling like they have no support or way out. The media needs to move away from portraying disability as a life sentence and instead highlight the systemic gaps that make life unnecessarily difficult for these families.
The Importance of Increased Disability Pensions
One of the most pressing issues I've witnessed over the years is the severe financial strain faced by families with disabled members, especially in low-income areas. In Delhi, the current disability pension is ₹2,500 per person, which barely covers basic necessities, let alone the specialized care and equipment many children require. While Delhi's pension is among the highest in the country, some states offer as little as ₹400. The amounts vary across states, but what remains constant is how the non-disabled population often sees the pension as charity, overlooking the significant out-of-pocket expenses these families endure.
Families have shared with me how even a modest increase in this pension could make a world of difference, giving them a bit of breathing room, restoring some dignity, and allowing them to better care for their children.
The Struggle of Mobility in Urban Slums: Why Ground Floors Matter
During my time working with families in urban slums, I've observed a recurring issue: many families reside in cramped, dingy homes, often on the second or third floors. For children with mobility challenges, living on the upper floors essentially confines them to their homes. I recall one child who, for years, could do nothing but gaze at the ceiling, unable to experience the outside world because her family couldn't carry her up and down every day. Imagine having a life limited to staring at the ceiling, unable to eat, play, or engage in anything else.
The need for ground-floor housing for families with children with disabilities is crucial. While I understand that accessibility should be a standard for all families and homes, in the current circumstances, it’s vital that families have the option to live on the ground floor. This change allows children to move freely, go outside, and simply enjoy life. I’ve witnessed the profound difference it makes when children can step outside, interact with others, and see the sky—it fills them with hope and a sense of freedom.
The Need for Aids, Appliances, and Education
Many children I have worked with lack access to basic aids and appliances—things as simple as wheelchairs or audio books that could drastically improve their mobility, access to eductaion and quality of life. Without these, children are confined to their homes, missing out on education, social interactions, and the chance to grow and develop.
Education is not just a right; it’s a necessity for every child, including those with disabilities. Yet, I’ve encountered countless children who are denied this right because schools are not accessible. These children are left behind, growing up in isolation, cut off from opportunities for learning and play. We need to invest in both education for children with disabilities so that they can have a life that isn’t limited by their circumstances.
The Extra Support Required for High-Support Families
Throughout my work, I’ve come across families that require far more support than others—what we call “high-support families.” These are often families with more than one child with a disability, single-parent households, or families led by grandparents. These families face overwhelming challenges that go beyond the norm. They need not only financial assistance but also emotional, logistical, and physical support.
In some cases, we’ve seen the immense difference family-driven interventions can make. But the burden on high-support families is such that even small gaps in support can lead to crisis situations. Imagine a single parent trying to care for two children with disabilities, or an elderly grandparent struggling to meet the demands of caregiving. These families need additional provisions—extra financial aid, specialised care, community support networks—to prevent them from feeling isolated and desperate.
The tragedy of losing five lives could have been avoided if there had been that extra layer of support—both emotionally and financially—for a family that was clearly in acute distress.
Psychological Support for Families: A Missing Element
It is also see that while some attention is given to children with disabilities, their families—especially the caregivers—are left unsupported. Women, in particular, often bear the weight of financial and emotional burdens in silence. There is a desperate need for psychological support systems for families, where they can express their frustrations, grieve, and receive guidance without judgement.
I remember meeting a father who was completely worn down by the daily struggles of caregiving, financial stress, and societal stigma. He had no outlet to share his pain, no support group to turn to. These families need emotional support as much as they need financial assistance.
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Through my years of work, I’ve seen what a difference proper social protection can make. Disability is not a curse, but without the necessary resources and support systems, families are left feeling hopeless. We need a coordinated approach that addresses financial support, accessible housing, psychological care, and educational opportunities for children with disabilities.
By increasing pensions, ensuring accessible housing, providing aids and appliances, and supporting families emotionally, we can prevent tragedies like this one. More importantly, we can give children with disabilities, and their families, the dignity and quality of life they deserve.
Technology, Digital and Data Leadership (CIO/CTO) for Banking, Insurance and NBFC
2moHeart wrenching episode and very well articulated observations about PwDs, their needs and those of their care givers.