The Gift of Asking Others For Help

5 years ago at a networking event I was asked who was on my "Advisory Board" at Solstice. I didn’t have an advisory board. I joked, "Who would want to be on the advisory board of a small technology company like Solstice?". Their response changed my life. “Write down four people, whether you know them or not, that you would love to have on your advisory board, and call them up and just ask them. Just see what they say, you have nothing to lose.” 

So I did. I wrote down four of the most successful people I knew of in the professional services sector. Individuals that had built up companies and took them public. Individuals that scaled businesses across offices all over the world. Individuals that had been CEOs of the world’s largest publicly traded professional services companies. I asked these four people, that I barely knew, to spend a day every quarter with us, teaching us what they had learned. 

To my surprise, they all said yes. 

Not long after forming our advisory board, thanks in no small part to their guidance, our firm doubled in size, and not long after that, was purchased by Kin + Carta (St Ives at the time). Years later I asked our board why they agreed to spend so much time on a fledgling company like Solstice. They all essentially gave the same answer. They were all looking for an opportunity to give back. To give another team the knowledge they had gained over the course of their careers. To pay forward what they had learned from their advisors. 

Asking for help is a bi-directional gift; not only to yourself but to those you ask. Asking for help gives someone else an opportunity to shape the world, by sharing their experience with you. 

In hindsight, the reason I didn’t have an advisory board was because I was too proud to ask for help. I wanted to think I had all the answers. In reality, I knew a fraction of what I had to learn. By putting aside ego and being vulnerable enough to ask for help, I was ultimately able to provide more opportunities to more people. And now, I often get to share the knowledge I’d gained from that advisory board, with others; and that’s one of the most fulfilling parts of my job. 

One of those advisory board members, David Bell, is now on the public company board for Kin + Carta. I continue to learn new things from David, and David continues to shape the world by continuing to share his experience with Kin + Carta.

So don’t let pride get in the way of asking for help. Think of it as giving someone else a gift, by allowing them to share their wisdom with you, and ultimately passing it on to those who come after you. 

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” - Pericles

Thank you David Bell, Craige Stout, Chris Dalton and Patrick Venetucci!