The Freshman Mixer Parable

This is a short analogy contrasting aggressive sales and honest networking.

It’s the first week of college. A freshman guy walks into a campus mixer, spots an attractive co-ed and approaches …

“Hello! My name is Jim … can I get your phone number and call or text from time to time?” The co-ed smiles and responds with a blush, “No, I’m sorry. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, but I’m seeing someone.”

Looking around the room, the guy responds, “Well, where is he?” To which the co-ed responds, “He’s not here right, now.”

The guy shrugs his shoulders and remarks, “Then he’s not going to know if you give me your number, right?” She politely responds, “Again, I’m sorry … I can’t.”

Not accepting of that, Jim quickly shoots back, “Why not? Are you afraid that he’s going to walk in the door?”

Feeling put upon, the co-ed defends with, “No! That’s not it. He’s at State and we’ve agreed to be committed to one another.”

Without thinking, Jim rhetorically asks, “State!? What’s he studying; To be a gym teacher?” This startles the co-ed, but she remains calm, politely countering with, “That’s none of your business and not even relevant.”

Not taking no for an answer, Jim continues. “Whatever! He’s two hours away. Why not give me your phone number? I bet I can show you more fun than he can being two hours away.”

That was it. The comment that put the conversation over the line. Completely offended, the co-ed angrily responds, “Seriously!? I’ve been as polite as I can. Now just please leave me alone.” She turns abruptly and quickly walks off muttering under her breathe, “What a jerk!”

As she storms off, Jim makes a similar declaration about the co-ed, then eyes the room for his next prospect.

A short while later, a second guy walks into the mixer, spots the same attractive co-ed, and approaches …

“Hello! My name is Bob … What’s yours?”

“Sarah,” she says with a smile.

Nervously, Bob asks, “I hope this is not too forward, but can I get your phone number and call or text from time to time?“

Though a little more guarded than before the co-ed smiles and responds cautiously, “No, I’m sorry. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, but I’m seeing someone.”

While feeling somewhat rejected, Bob politely continues “Oh, okay. I understand. But would it be okay for us to talk … here and now?”

“Sure! That would be great,” Sarah says with a smile, feeling relieved.

Not knowing where to start and not wanting to overstep boundaries, Bob cautiously asks, “So, tell me a bit about you. Where are you from? What are you studying?”

From here, they engage in a causal conversation touching on hometowns, high schools, and professional plans. The usual small talk topics.

As the conversation wears on, it becomes clear that Sarah has come to the mixer with a litany of new friends from her residence hall. Those new friends had connected with other young co-eds at the mixer, and one by one, Bob gets to meet them all and engages in conversation with several.

He is entertained for the entire mixer within that one growing network of co-eds. He might not have gotten Sarah’s number, but that interaction opened the door to many, many others.

The moral of this short tale of comparisons is that if you view someone as nothing more than a score, you probably won’t. If, however, you’re respectful of your approach to others, an individual instance might not work out but it will likely open the door to opportunities with lots of others.

The same is true in business. If you view someone as just a potential sale, you’ll likely not make one. If, however, you view contacts as relationships and treat them accordingly, a world of possibilities open for you.