Choose Your Words Carefully

When I was developing my skills as a leader I was often told to be mindful of the shadow that I was casting; how I was showing up and behaving, and the impact I was having on those around me. This can be summarised as the Ripple Effect. It acknowledges that everything we say and do can have an effect on someone who is near to us, and influence their thoughts, and their behaviour, which in turn can influence someone else . This is a key responsibility of leaders to be aware of and manage for themselves as they acknowledge that they are role models.

As was often the case, although I was told to consider my shadow, I was not helped to understand what the shadow was shaped by and what I could be doing differently to change this. I only learnt the ‘how’ during my coaching training and the subsequent self-investment activities I committed to. One of the most powerful tools I invested in during this time was neuro linguistic programming. This certification opened my eyes, and my mind, to the power of language and its control over my thoughts, my behaviour, and my relationships with others. Not only did I take away learning to enhance and enrich my coaching practise but I also took away key skills to improve my communication and my relationships - both with myself, and others.

Words and how we choose to use them have an effect on how we think and how we behave. Choosing our words more carefully and in a considered, intentional way, can change our outcomes drastically. It’s a skill I support my clients to have greater awareness and ability in, in both my coaching and my management training programmes. Consider how these two sentences sound:

1.“I will do this and ensure I have it completed for 1st October”

2.“I will try and do this and have it completed around the 1st October”

The first sounds more assertive, more committed, more powerful than the second with just a simple adjustment removing the ‘try’ and the ‘around’. The first sounds like it’s going to happen; the second, not so much.

Consider: What small, simple adjustments can you make to your language today?

Stuck in the Middle? Sort Your Boundaries

One of the biggest challenges for Middle Managers is prioritising themselves, and the best leaders work on themselves first, and set themselves up for success, before they work on or with anyone else. Because if you're not in a strong place, you can't help anyone else to be either.

Start with defining your boundaries. Create your own conditions for being your best self at work and start implementing these. Having boundaries means knowing and understanding yourself well, and what enables you to be your best, and deliver your best. Having boundaries means being the best you can be for everyone else.

Saying no, actually enables you to say yes when it's right and helpful to do so.

Stuck in the middle? Lost your boundaries? Try out my 4 simple steps.

• Define what enables you to be your best at work

• What do you need to happen to make this possible?

• What will having this give you?

• What one action will you take this week to make this happen?

Language Swaps

Small changes in your language can make a big difference. It just requires a little bit of awareness, and conscious effort, to stop and think about what words to use to achieve an outcome that works for everyone.

Give these a try and see the positive difference it makes to the conversations you have with your team.

What I've Been Up To

August was finally the month that I took some well overdue holiday and boy, did I take a holiday! I spent 5 nights with my Dad in Istanbul followed by 6 nights in Puglia, Italy with my gorgeous girlfriends. All celebrations for my 40th birthday! Both locations were stunningly beautiful. I could not recommend them more! Istanbul is MAGICAL.

So far, 40 isn’t too bad...!

What I've Been Listening To

The Mel Robbins Podcast

World Leading  Psychologist: How to Master Your Emotions & Deal with Negative People

I’ve spoken about the work of Dr Susan David and her concept of emotional agility a lot in this newsletter - and across all of my platforms - and so when I saw that she was joining Mel Robbins on her podcast I had to tune in!

I did find that Robbins spoke more than I would have liked...! Fair enough, it’s her podcast, but I would have preferred more space to have been given to David and for her to share more of her incredible learnings, experience, and insights into this critical topic of how we lean into our emotions, learn from them, and choose our reactions based on the outcome we want to achieve. Still, give it a listen to grab some of David’s wisdom. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

What I've Been Reading

FICTION SPECIAL!

Ok, so I went on holiday and therefore the only books I permitted myself to indulge in were fictional so here are my top holiday reads:

1. Weyward, Emilia Hart - I am fascinated by the history of witches in our culture and the persecution of women. This fictional story focuses around generations of women in a family and their special gifts, and the reactions of the society around them.

2. The Trees, Percival Everett - I could not put this intriguing story down! It kept me awake at night wanting to read more and find out what was really going on. A tale of when the marginalised fight back!

3. Everything’s Fine, Cecilia Rabess - An unusual love story that for me echoed the reality of relationships and navigating our differences, while demonstrating that true love is not always typical or obvious.

The Coaching Cast: The Importance of Language For Success

Shortly after gaining my first diploma in coaching in 2016 I completed a practitioner certificate in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and was struck by the power, and the significance, of language on our mindset, our behaviour, and our results.

It's a learnt skill which I continue to use to enhance my coaching and training practise, and which I love to support my clients to learn, and understand, for their own development, growth, and success. So I was super excited when Suzy suggested that we focus an episode of our podcast on this topic!

In this episode we explore why language matters so much in business, how it impacts relationships and outcomes, and some practical tips on refining your communication for better results and greater success. Listen now to episode 91 wherever you get your podcasts and by visiting our website thecoachingcast.co.uk

How to Find Me & Get Support for Your Success

I don’t think being a manager should be 💩 so I work with middle managers, who work in the most pressured and conflicted layer in any business, to embrace their roles with energy and enjoyment, to get a grip of their personal development and growth, and connect with their confidence and capabilities, to ensure that they thrive and don’t get caught in the crap trap.

I focus on delivering coaching and training remotely to complement and support all individuals, and Global businesses. If this sounds like you, and you want to connect, you can do so in the following ways:

📩 Drop me a message or you can click the link to book a chat and to see how I can support you with your management career https://calendly.com/lisa-gripcoaching/30min 

🌎 Visit my website www.gripcoaching.co.uk where you will find all of my coaching packages plus my Clarity Hour - one hour with me, virtually, at a time of your choosing for just £150. Perfect if you're wanting to try out coaching and need some support to get clear on what you want, and how you're going to get it!

🎧 Listen to my podcast The Coaching Cast across all major platforms and via thecoachingcast.co.uk

❓ Take my Middle Manager Quiz https://middlemanager.scoreapp.com