Burnout: it's a you problem

Burnout can happen to anyone. It hit me like a ton of bricks a few years ago.

This is what I learnt (the hard way) and I'm sharing ahead of World Mental Health Day because it's important to understand the impact that stress can have on your mental and physical health.

My story

The full impact of burnout crept up on me slowly. I'd been overworking for such a long time, exhaustion became the norm, but as my workload and demands of family life continued to grow, I hit breaking point.

My memory dropped off a cliff, I wasn't as quick or articulate as I used to be, my sleep was awful, I was irritable, and I physically couldn't keep up with my two young children. My mental health dipped.

I was called a "zombie wife". I wish I'd stopped before it got to that point, but I'm not alone.

A quick search shows there are many articles on coming back from burn out or preventing it, with suggestions such as exercise, eating well, sleeping well, and asking for help.

Those things are valid, however if you're already going down that road you need more. We all know exercise is good for you, but I 'just didn't have the time'.

I blamed my workload but I've learnt that my burnout wasn't a work problem, it was a 'me' problem.

Yes my workload was overwhelming at the time and there was no team at that point (I have an amazing one now), but there's always going to be more work, higher expectations, new goals, roles or promotions to strive for, and it's about setting your own rules.

What's helped

Here's what I come back to when I start to slip into previous patterns:

Don't focus too much on the end goal

The prospect of a promotion or new role, pay or recognition often drive people, but if you focus too much on the end point and don't enjoy the opportunity getting there, the pressure to keep performing can be overwhelming.

Prioritise yourself and think about what really matters

It's usually your exercise and personal time that goes first, but if you don't value yourself enough to carve out 15-30mins for yourself (everyday), what are you doing?

If you can't say no, say 'not right now'

It's hard to say no but you must prioritise. This isn't easy when you have a stack of urgent items and something else lands, but if you can't delegate, be strict on what's urgent. What's the one thing can't you drop to keep achieving your end goal?

Accept good enough

When asks can't be changed, delegated, or pushed back, sometimes good enough is perfect.

Be kind to yourself, there are no supermums

There's no 'working dad' title, in the same way as a working mum. There's a whole load of women who are working like they don't have children and parenting like they don't work. It's exhausting!

A side step can be a good career move

I took a side-step role to recover. It brought back my excitement for digital marketing. I could feel a weight lift as I wasn't focused on the next big career ladder step. Instead, I got more creative, enjoyed a new challenge, and learnt a lot.

What do you find helpful to keep a good balance?