Debbie Wosskow, OBE’s Post

This struck a cord with me. I've certainly been on the receiving end of feedback about my personality over performance - "too chatty", "too much energy", "run too fast", all the while exceeding KPI's.. I've always thought of feedback as a gift, and the people giving it as human (often learning themselves). I think some people forget that feedback isn't a directive. It's infact up to you what you do with it - how you hold it or how you use it next. I've chosen to use feedback (delivered good or bad) to help me reframe how I communicate to have impact. I've also found it useful to recognise some of the things I don't want to change about myself because of the long-term goals or dreams I have. I recognise that in some instances these personality traits become positive attributes. Without personality you have a robotic workforce, so be chatty, energetic and want to run fast, but listen to the impact it has on others and find adaptions without changing your authentic self, as doing that might not lead you to your end goal!

There is no one to blame here. It's one of those things that you don't see unless you experience it. And men – giving you a big pass – are half of the cultural peck of a zillion ducks that created this. Women, as receivers of these pecks, sometimes get so whacked out with their own lack of confidence they can't feel it anymore, and just stay in the metaphorical corner. Men may not know they're even doing it or working with women differently. It can be so subtle. And so sad. There is so much research on this, not just as referenced in this little article. And it's not just work, it's life. So what's a woman to do? Well, the one thing you shouldn't do is take it. How you choose not to take it is up to you. #womeninbusiness #CEOs #CEOinsights #HR #humanresorces #founders #politics #psychology #boardsofdirectors #51group

  ➡ When I heard those words in my performance review, they stung: "You can come across as too aggressive." Like many women in leadership positions, I've grappled with this loaded feedback that seems to disproportionately target strong female voices in the workplace. Let's be clear - the same behaviors that earn men labels like "assertive" and "decisive" often lead to women being branded as "aggressive" or "difficult." ➡ This double standard isn't just frustrating; it's a barrier to career advancement that needs dismantling. ➡ Rather than dimming your light, use this moment as a catalyst for positive change. Start by examining the specific situations that triggered this feedback. Was it during negotiations? Speaking up in meetings? Document these instances and identify patterns. Then, consider enlisting allies - both male and female colleagues who can provide honest feedback and support. ➡ Schedule a follow-up discussion with your manager to better understand their perspective and share your own. Come prepared with specific examples of your contributions and leadership style. ♀ Remember, by addressing this challenge head-on, you're not just advancing your own career - you're helping create a more equitable workplace for all women who will follow in your footsteps. #WomenImpactingWomen #BreakTheBias #WomenInLeadership #CareerGrowth #ProfessionalDevelopment #WomenSupportingWomen

Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energies in Leadership In today's workplace, the issue of woman-on-woman bullying remains largely unaddressed, despite the strides made by movements like #MeToo. Studies show that up to 80% of workplace bullying involves women targeting other women. Moreover, the pressure on women to adopt more aggressive leadership styles, akin to toxic masculinity, further exacerbates this issue. In my 25-year journey in the fashion industry and now as an embodiment coach, I've had the privilege of working with incredible female leaders who exemplify strength, compassion, and authenticity. These women seamlessly integrate both feminine and masculine energies, leading with empathy while also making decisive decisions. However, I've also encountered instances where female leaders leaned too heavily into their masculine traits, adopting aggressive tactics, and creating a toxic work environment. It's crucial to recognize that leadership isn't about conforming to a specific gender stereotype but rather embracing one's unique blend of qualities. By acknowledging and honouring both feminine and masculine energies within us and our leadership styles, we can create inclusive workplaces where everyone feels valued and empowered to thrive. Let's work together to cultivate a new paradigm of leadership—one that celebrates authenticity, diversity, and collaboration. Feel free to share your experience or send me a message to explore more!

It is imperative for companies that are committed to merit-based promotion to make sure they are using a clear rubric for performance measurement to counteract the implicit biases we all have. I have also seen suggestions that this is where AI may become useful in the workplace. It's an intriguing notion, but I think we need to make sure that AI doesn't follow the biases of its creators.

76% for women compared to 2% for men, that is a staggering disparity. This is a wide array of organizations (250) who were sampled, and when drilled down on, the reasons for these significant gaps will come down to a lack of objective and empirical metrics and a whole lot of, "You should smile more" criteria," than any of these companies studied should be comfortable with. While the men and women assessed/studied may have presented with similar (even identical) language, patterns and behavior, it was not deemed as negative/unlikeable in 84% of cases with them, whereas it is almost the polar opposite, being viewed as negative/unlikeable in 76% of women. The men were often described as "nice," while language such as "abrasive, difficult, and unlikeable, was used to describe the women. Like traits and behaviors are viewed and assessed through very different lens, which continue to create disparities.

The overemphasis on subjective criteria in performance reviews can also lead to inconsistencies. For example, focusing on interpersonal skills over quantifiable outcomes might unintentionally disadvantage certain employees. Some leaders use very broad objectives for measurement such as "enable the business." When the discussions of how that was done take place, expectations may subtly shift to traditional gender roles.

Impactful #performancereviews are about observable behavior that is positive to encourage repeatable behavior or constructive for behavior change. As #goodleaders let's do better, and quit with the subjective personality traits.

🤦🏻♀️ New analysis of more than 23,000 performance reviews shows that women at the top of their game are STILL put down on paper as abrasive and opinionated—and it doesn’t matter if their manager is male or female. Here are some of the shocking statistics I uncovered in my latest for Fortune: • Nearly a third of women have been described as opinionated in their latest performance review—just 4% of men were told the same. • Language like abrasive, difficult, friendly, and helpful showed up in the majority of women’s reviews, but in very few of the men’s • Despite being more likely to be described as “nice” in their performance review, the majority of high-performing women recalled also being told they’re unlikable—compared to just 16% of men • Men, on the other hand, are hailed for their confidence (54%) and ambitiousness (63%) in their performance reviews. Less than 18% of women received the same recognition. https://lnkd.in/edcZjNSe Textio #leadership #womeninbusiness #everydaysexism

We talk about women and men differently in the workplace, and those differences are hurting the bottom line. From job postings to performance evaluations, women are often described with communal attributes such as "helpful," "supportive," and "nurturing". And those are just the positive comments. 78% of women receive feedback that they are "emotional", while only 11% of men do. Men are also more likely to be described with individualistic attributes like "ambitious," "confident," and "assertive" - positive traits associated with sucess in a capitalist workplace. These subtle language differences reduce managers' ability to spot talent in their direct reports. When considering candidates for a more senior role, managers are less likely to consider direct reports who they think of as simply "helpful" or "nurturing". They need to promote leaders who will drive the company's success. They just don't realize their own assessments of potential might be flawed. Before blaming anyone, consider that we're all guilty of language imbalances: it's not a matter of a small group of people judging women unfairly. We can all improve the way we talk about women at work. One small action you can take: This week, notice every time you use a word uniquely to describe a woman - e.g. "shrill", "bossy" or "aggressive". Ask yourself: "Would I use that word to describe a man? Would it have the same meaning?" No blame. No shame. Just start noticing. ;) #genderbias #womenempowerment #selfpromotion #workplaceculture #genderequality #workingwomen #womeninleadership