1. |
Open Your Coffin
03:24
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The clock is 666
The bones are rattling again
Ahh
It is time
For yet another spooky
Descent into hell
Uh I don't know what to say here
So uh
Boo
Bones are rattling once more
But this time
They're preparing for war
We are back
For a snack
It might be you
We're talking to
Wake up sleepy head
I've got news
You are dead
Welcome to the whole new you
Wakeup call is long overdue
Oh man I feel like crap
This was just supposed to be a nap
Stiff joints, need some air
Time to get the hell out of here
Open your coffin
Break free
Of your grave so crappy
I said
Open your coffin
Whoever put you here
They will pay
Arise skeleton
It is your birthday
Break into a house, stealing their cash
For burgers you now make a dash
Run into mcdonalds, order some fries
On TV you materialize
All over news
The dead has come back
Ready for a skeletal payback
Earthquake of bones, cemetery rave
Join us now out, crawl out of your grave
This is tom for channel 5 news
On the scene with a skeleton
What do you have to say?
Uh
I live again
Open your coffin
Break free
Of your grave so crappy
I said
Open your coffin
Whoever put you here
They will pay
Arise skeleton
It is your birthday
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2. |
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Resurrected through time and space
Born again to rip off your face
Evil wizard born from hate
A million graves he'll desecrate
I conjure from my book
Your grandmothers bones I took
I live again
A thousand armies
Commanded under me
In necromancy
I have a degree
Cmon
He dresses in a wizard hat
His minions got a baseball bat
Necronomicon he has read
Necromancer, master of the dead
I am the one
Satans son
The master of the dead
He'll take a shit down your head
This is the part where the audience goes
"Hey hey" etc right?
But this is a studio record, so I can't do that
However if I ever play this in like antarctica
You know what the fuck to do
I conjure from my book
Your grandmothers bones I took
Cuz I'm the necromancer I don't give a shit
If you don't like it you can suck my dick
Resurrection is my crime
Necromancy when its bedtime
I'm kicked out of wizard school
Because black magic is too cruel
Whatever don't need 'em anyway
Cuz my skeletons spells their doomsday
My minions they conquer all
And then I'll cast a fireball
My black magic is the best
Your grandma's bones is put to the test
I go around and desecrate
An army I will create
Out of bones
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3. |
Viral Warfare
03:29
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No cure for the common cold
Viral disease spreads tenfold
If you cough phlegm my way
I will kill you with an ashtray
They call me viral warfare
Immunity I impair
Not deadly, just annoying
With your immunity I'll be toying
Can you feel it in the air
Grocery stores you should beware
That's the place most people get sick
Just letting you know
Avoid that shit
Have you ever wondered
"How did I get sick?"
Here's your stupid answer
"It was me, I'm a dick"
Walking sick nightmare
I'll infect you anywhere.
Oh its the season
Its the flu
I'll cough on you
Blergh
Get the nyquil
Back again
I'm bacterial
Not deadly enough for a funeral
But I still annoy
Cannot get rid of me
Modern science won't disagree
Ginger
Honey
Lemon
Tea
Its all crappy
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4. |
Bone Pit
02:34
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Bring your mace
And bring your horns
Into the circle of skeletal forms
Your bones crushed
And spinal injury
Head smashed to the next century
Face
Obliterated
Your innards
Annihilated
Get into the pit
Of where no skeleton will sit
Good luck buddy
Shit out of luck
Bonestorm coming like a truck
Holy shit, holy fuck
Into the bone pit
Into the bone pit
A bloody exorcism
Of skeletonism
As you hit the floor
They're kicking you out of the door
Poser
Get into the pit
Of where no skeleton will sit
Good luck buddy
This is the end
Let us know where your funeral's at
The result of our skeleton combat
Neck brace
Crutches
A new dental plan
For you
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5. |
Church Of Skeletons
03:09
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Goblet of gore
Wicked symbol arise
Structre of old
Now wither and dies
Death is not final
But you're not coming back
Now join us in our
Shitty little shack
Welcome
Out of the cemetary
Into the mortuary
Rejoice and commerge
To our skeleton church
Crackers and wine
From a fleshy spine
Sunday you attend
Or else you will offend
Organ of organs
Playing songs of bone
Church band playing
Red dripping trombones
Not sure what we believe in
We just like the community
Now all stand for a prayer of stupidity
Out of the cemetary
Into the mortuary
Rejoice and commerge
To our skeleton church
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6. |
The Skull Goblet
03:16
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Bring me my skull goblet
Loyal servant of mine
Serve me only the finest wine
Or else your spine I will realign
Drink
Drink
From my goblet
The skull laughs
As you quench your thirst
Now you're dead
And remain cursed
Cursed plastic cheapo thing I bought
Once a king, now I'm dead in camelot
My kingdom was once beautiful green
Now everyday looks like halloween
Where's my ass?
Oh wait I'm a skeleton
Unholy deathly spells
Inside the cup
The secret dwells
One drink is all it takes
The unread cup it never breaks
Ey quit those fucking rock and roll cock rock solos
Nobody wants to hear em
Fuck you
Oh it was on sale
The unholy grail
Should've kept the receipt
But the sale I couldn't beat
A cheapo price
Oh what a sacrifice
Unholy deathly spells
Inside the cup
The secret dwells
One drink is all it takes
The undead cup it never breaks
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7. |
Skeleton Killer
02:32
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I am the killer in the night
I wield a chainsaw that'll give ya a fright
If you think that rhyme is really lame
Then it's time to introduce you to my name
Skeleton, skeleton killer
I kill for pleasure
Then I'll have you for dinner
Skeleton, skeleton killer
Wielding knife or sword
You limbs I have stored
(in my fridge)
Stalking the night
With axe in hand
Your guts is what I demand
Cackling laughter
Echoes far
Take your last breath
Here comes the crowbar
Skeleton, skeleton killer
I kill for pleasure
Then I'll have you for dinner
Skeleton, skeleton killer
I kill for pleasure
Then I will have you for
(dinner)
Uh oh its a key change
I love key changes
Yeah
Skeleton killer
Watch out
Or he'll have you for takeout
Ugh
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8. |
Speed Metal Spooker
02:04
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Skeleton wheels takes him higher
Into the streets burning with fire
Bike of bones and milk for gasoline
He's high on amphetamine
He don't give a flying fuck
Never he is traffic stuck
Now he's running over grandma
666 miles per hour
Speed metal spooker
Riding a scooter
Speed metal spooker
Now fighting a cougar
Speed metal spooker
Sitting on a child booster
Seat
I cannot sing this anymore
My throat just wont do
So heres me saying
I quit this piece of poo
Alright fine just one more chorus
Speed metal spooker
Agghh
Speed metal spooker
I dont give a fuck
Speed metal spooker
You insert the lyrics
I don't care
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9. |
Skeleton Treasure
02:21
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We've gotta go heavy this time
We gotta go
Uh
Not like that
Like this
Ugh
Stole my crown
Stole my sword
My crypt you should've never explored
Guess what buddy
Now I'm pissed
Now I rise from my grave
What a twist
"Oh crap", you say out loud
But stealing just isn't allowed
Tell you what
You give them back
And I won't go
"Clickety clack"
You invaded my home
And sat on my throne
Now I rise
From my bones
Give it back
Or else I'll be pissed
My skeleton treasure
Will be missed
Ugh
Oh no what the hell
You took my chair as well
Hey that's mine
That isn't yours
Now I'm gonna lock
My crypt doors
I steal your skeleton treasure
Hey that's my skeleton guitar you're playing on
Give it back
Give it back, stop playing on my guitar
You invaded my home
And sat on my throne
Now I rise
From my bones
Give it back
Or else I'll be pissed
My skeleton treasure
Will be missed
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10. |
Boner
02:46
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You know what they say
You know what to do
It is time, time to screw
Skeleton dick
Holy shit
My boner fell off
Bonely mess
With zero guess
How do you bone
With no thing of your own
Poor excuse to write a song
To sing about skeletal dong
Heavy metal skeleton thunder
The boner once sat
To my parts down under
I will take it back
Whoever took it I will smack
A quest has begun
This isn't fun
I need it back
Or I will attack
I need to pee
Cant you see
I need my boner
Its mine, I am the owner
Heavy metal skeleton thunder
The boner once sat
To my parts down under
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11. |
Oh Fuck
02:08
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Trapped in a maze
Filled with skeletal craze
Where is the exit
Now I am their breakfast
Like pac man fever
The skeletons are eager
After my skin
I just cannot win
More and more
I am done for
Skeletons in the maze
Are counting my days
The rattling is close
Death I'll diagnose
Bones are cackling
In this maze I'm battling
A million words I wanna say
But it wont it matters anyway
This is it, they cornered me
Written in blood my message will be
Oh fuck oh fuck
Oh fuck
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12. |
Funny Bones
00:49
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Hey its time for some jokes
Ey, why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts
Ey, why are skeletons so calm
Because nothing gets under their skin
Why, what did the order, what did the skeleton do
He died
Aaaaaaaa
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13. |
Glass Of Milk
03:40
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Waking to a crashing sound
Could it be neighbors hound
Think it was from the kitchen
Time to check, a midnight mission
Okay hang on, what is that
Standing on your kitchen's mat
Hey, sorry I didn't knock
I just didn't want to give you a shock
I was thirsty
I wanted a drink
Is that too much you think?
Sorry, ok but you just gotta know
This stuff makes your bones grow
It was late
It gave me quite the fright
I was ready for a fight
Skeleton drinking all your milk
Now out of the window I will slink
He poured the rest in the sink
A glass of milk
What an idiot
Should've locked the door
Now I'll sneak around for
Drinking milk some more
I would've bought the milk myself
But I'm kinda broke
If I had money
I'd get surgery
Now I'm forced
Into burglary
It was late
It gave me quite the fright
I was ready for a fight
Skeleton drinking all your milk
Now out of the window I will slink
He poured the rest in the sink
A glass of milk
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14. |
Over My Dead Body
03:09
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Drowned, shot and stabbed
My corpse they hid and dragged
They put me in a grave
Not a single fuck they even gave
Hello I live again now
A deal gone wrong, oh so bad
One word wrong, they got so mad
They shot me once, they shot me twice
Actually about a hundred times to be precise
They put my body in the ground
Accidentally nex to a nuclear compound
I am back
I live again
Out of all the places
To hid their traces
They dumped my body into a sewage pile
Now I'm back with a wicked smile
( I )
I live again
( am back )
Thanks to a toxic can
( I )
Hail pollution amen
( live again )
Not quite a zombie, not quite a bone dude
Don't not for sure, but I know I'm in a crappy mood
I follow their trace, I look out and scout
I tip toe my way into their hideout
I see their boss, he was the one
To first shoot me with his golden gun
Surprised to see me?
Well I'm back
Because you guys killed me
And I'm here to kill you now
Fuck you
My revenge is here at last
This will be fun, it will be a blast
No bullets will work this time
Here to repay their crime
I stomp on their balls and I kick their ass
How about you eat some broken glass
You buried me near a nuclear plant
Now some surgery, a fist to your balls implant
( I )
I live again
( am back )
Thanks to a toxic can
( I )
Hail pollution amen
( live again )
Now that you're a pile of gore
Now I take back the cash I once asked for
And I buy takeout food
It was just a misunderstanding
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15. |
Día de Muertos
02:27
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Esto musica es una mierda
Fuck christmas
That's right
Yeah
Heres a holiday
That's better
Mexico
Day of the dead
Chinga de puta madre cabron
Day of the dead
I wish we celebrated that
Dia de los muertos
Why cant we have that
Oh yeah
Ugh
Swedish midsummer
Sucks ass
Tonto del culo
Day of the dead
I wish we celebrated that
Dia de los muertos
Este restaurante esta de la chingada
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16. |
The Calcium Cataclysm
04:06
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Welcome to the end
A weapon I'd recommend
Actually you'd better just run
Because the city is overrun
We are here
Prepare for a scare
We have won, the city is done
Come join us it has begun
Who knows it might just be fun
Calcium cataclysm
Out of the grave
And into the rave
Join us tonight
And party til daylight
The tides have turned
We have returned
A battletank of bone
Skeletons parachute into the drop zone
Take off your head and use it for football
Using your bladder for my alcohol
Take your skin and use it as a rug
Then your fluids goes in my fucking mug
You thought it was a laugh
You thought we were silly
Who's laughing now
When you're dick kicked in the willy
( it is the )
The calcium cataclysm
Out of the grave
And into the rave
Join us tonight
And party til daylight
The tides have turned
We have returned
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17. |
Save A Bone For Me
03:08
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Well friends
Its been a long road, hasn't it?
Three albums down the can
Or the toilet
Hope you all enjoyed all these silly tunes
About skeletons
But this is it
The final song
Save one
Save a bone for me
Save one
Skeleton for me
It has been a lonesome road
Full of stupid overload
Though even
Even I
Realize this shit just gotta
Die
Save one
Save a bone for me
Save one
Skeleton for me
Now don't, don't be sad
Reflect upon the fun we had
Don't fret I will make more
I just dont want these albums
To be a bore
I mean really three albums?
Is that not really fucking enough
Skeleton metal
Skeleton metal
Hang on
Hang on
Fuck all that
I'm not ending skeleton metal
With a fucking ballad
Like how lame would that be
Right?
No, fuck that
We're ending this the proper way
1 2 3 4
I am not ending skeleton metal this way
I am ending it, like a doomsday
Alright
Its almost time for my song
Sorry buddy you're a lil late
What's that?
You're late
That blundering boob fucked me out of a deal
Yeah that guys a dickhead
There's gonna be consequences
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