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Ink & Oil

by Storefront Church

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1.
hers was the first face I’d seen in weeks drifting down Broadway on a piece of the Bradbury her eyes held the sun like a message through chandelier tears she reflected the river-street as she spoke to me all the walls are grated with tiny office spaces where dim fluorescent faces mill about their stalls the stairs kick out beneath me into watery air I’m reaching but I don’t seem to be going anywhere come out of the night wild and without mind like headlights headed south on the north bound side they speak in visions they are my guides and their decision is love love love now I see her in the high room from the starry stairwell I’ve been swamping in hovering above her like a sun a sphere of woven bodies they’re peering and they’re leering as she speaks to me all the walls are grated with tiny office spaces where dim fluorescent faces mill about their stalls stairs kick out beneath me into watery air I’m reaching but I don’t seem to be going anywhere come out of the night wild and without mind like headlights headed south on the northbound side they speak in visions they are my guides and their decision is love love love intertwined of one mind hold me in the hands that fan around the faceless grace of that which holds us all
2.
Faith In Oil 03:57
I want tunnel vision ‘til all I see is you you’re my one decision you hold a candle to truth there on the face of a six sided die level! level! level! god’s name no matter which way that it rolls level! level! level! tell one more lie I’ve been waiting for it hoping for it all along I can hear it all everything under the rug and pull I see it big bright vision now and it isn’t mine American mating ritual I’ll kill the anchor on air in 3…2… as long as there are stars fading above you I’ll make you so full of doubt that you’ll never be without it swear on the face of a six sided die level! level! level! god’s name no matter which way that it rolls level! level! tell one more lie I’ve been waiting for it hoping for it all along I can hear it all everything under the rug AND PULL I SEE IT BIG BRIGHT VISION NOW AND IT ISN’T MINE it isn’t mine
3.
it blooms out of the fog old Ferris wheels and antique songs high-wires above the sky-pit bright souls of acrobats afloat playful lights just dressed up violence the great parade I see it now as cold two dancers fly across the night and drift away as fading taillights back into the fog a silver dinosaur small figurines that she adores her life is mirrored twice she turns towards herself in rows and rows as she throws batons up high into the fire a ballerina twirling in the smoke funhouse eyes blinking bending prizes find now the mirror’s melting and so are you so are you face up to the glass tiger on the lash his eyes on you fables of the past the mirror’s melting fast and so are you so are you as I look back at myself in rows and rows I see it all now I see myself as cold I see it all as cold
4.
King of the lobby Pissing in his chair stuck in his hobbies with gray under gold hair He postures in the lobby he’ll wink and then just stare I hear him when he calls me if I turn then I’ll grow old there My girl, my girl Melted down Melted her gold incisor for me Still totes around her dropkick Corgi After he died he died he died I hear some idiot he’s singing of the flowers that he never sent around to her I hear my voice in other rooms and I keep praying while I’m waiting To let it subside No, I’ll be fine you’re right ballroom in the parking garage Communion in the bathroom stall a singer with a voice like screws In my temples Make up Break up You’re wrong this time You got a long way back to useless right down the hall from lobby music cheers to the bride the groom and bride I hear some idiot he’s singing of the flowers that he never sent around to her I hear my voice in other rooms and I keep praying while I’m waiting to let it subside this time You got nothing to give You got nothing to give He says You got nothing to give You got nothing to give
5.
summer in inpatient money for the pain and profit from the same old cycle of behavior looking back I should have stuck with my young guns I heard you like a voice on the phone I’ll turn it over when we get home this bond is not to be shared you and I both spent all this here lets stop and burn the roses you divide up all I’ve earned here what’s half of nothing? defamation lawsuit mescaline switcheroo motel with your nephew vending machine menu you never knew better made your own medicine you saved the memorandum too but they took all your money and you can’t find your husband can you? you and I lost everything here let’s stop and burn the roses you divide up all I’ve earned here what’s half of nothing? of nothing of nothing
6.
I woke to the sound of the whisper of wings The first bird had risen from my rusted sink and she sang and she sang I walked through the prison on droppings of white watched Dan eat his sandwich as talons gripped tight to his head his bald head I refuse to read what is written in the rind one night in confinement the door bent and whined at once they all flew in to nest in my eyes I blinked and an orange grove appeared green and bright as one flips a light switch I’d left I’d arrived words in the rind mind rend them away to lift past skeins of binding blinding clamoring to you they’re yours and they’re mine deny them I’m not mistaken wide white sky I’m still listening to you still listening fat hands on his rifle the hero arrived said we’d feel much safer if you were behind bars I wished him the best but the birds would decide I trust that the message will reach past the blind pigs words in the rind mind rend them away to lift past skeins of binding blinding clamoring to you will of divine entwine me in sunny eon’s sleep holding folding nature in its deep on quiet frozen freeways the manifestations the orange globes slowly float towards a clean sky a Procession of nature the stardust heading home I refuse to read what is written under knowing is the end of wonder there I begin intertwined there I begin undefined growing past the rind
7.
Coal 05:03
rudderlessness in west-divide’s capsized boat the sail pulls us all in what carried us once now drags us down happily useless I sleep among the trees one quarter on each eye I’ll be carried up by the bees coal is an old white man with a broken goose-neck pushing balls of blood and shit up the hill to roll them back down last car on the pyre now three rungs and we’ll be there to crawl across the thoroughfare to pirouette through sedan-air I am a little man with butterfly wings! I am a carousel catch the golden ring! the Botticelli angel leapt into the volcano now everything around her searches and flounders in front of the concentration camps we’ve got drive-in movies Displays of American heroism rigid brawn is death’s best friend St. Francis descends with wings of picket fence prosthetics down his whole left side he says there’s nothing to be angry about you are the channel change it now celluloid hands ran the ropes back to dry land they heaved until the city would stand I watched as they made the stars of bone there’s nothing to be angry about wealth suspends me in midair I stack up all the loathsome cars and turn them into rungs to God I am a little man with butterfly wings I am a carousel catch the golden— History’s underwater Remember it how you want it My credit here is spotless for all pernicious nonsense tortured by the same dream the money in the rind they handed you an ice cream you fortified the line you were never ordered had nothing here to lose an infant with the last word delivered with a noose you can’t get any older your children’s bloody shoulders you half-dead fucks will just keep rolling up the boulder keep rolling up the boulder keep rolling up the boulder
8.
I’ve only seen it in my mind’s eye a black line lolling in the sky shining when the light hits it right it’s as though it were someone else’s lost wandering memory looking for shelter coming to me unbidden stark a solitary line on a sunless sky
9.
In the beginning we were alone in the orange grove the sound of the siren would not recede I don’t know what came before everything was just you and I I don’t know how the cable formed But it ran from your chest to mine for a time there was no hunger there was no need we were ghosts tending clones of orange trees the sound of the siren became our silence and time was a gift from a ribcage Now I’m starting to remember… Then there was the clearing with the statue at its heart We couldn’t recognize it We didn’t know our likeness And when the voice came with the rain and the grove became a marsh With water came junk migrations Barges of garbage circled by melting birds with night came the searchlights slapping at the earth Like fat white wrists fumbling in the dirt I turned to you for reassurance but we were not alone a grey procession at our sides their eyes their throats a gravel tone You turned to me and smiled A single orange out of place Alone along the path A bite was taken from its face Its pulp was cold and black A whale breached through the sky the siren and her calf A spider city-eyed spun highways of concrete You turned to me and smiled gorgeous and complete said we are not to blame but those who carry it we carry it I don’t remember much Limp and dragged through dust The cable that once joined us Hanging from the dusk
10.
swimming in the angry waves I thought I’d found a statue then I saw as clear as day his porcelain mask and black suit enough enough I will take it all for you enough enough… suddenly the swells rewound surrounded us and circled then he spoke without a sound it warmed me then it curdled let me take the weight away what moves you will soon kill you enough enough I will take it all for you enough enough I will take it all from you from you from you
11.
Shadowboxing 05:06
VHS of unruly roots reaching back to me through time I am just an echo of you family hands run through us with twine tell me little one what did they do why didn’t they look when you ran off to hide he won’t let it lie he won’t take an eye for an eye so I find that we’re stuck in a feedback loop all these voices of mine in a fight when the noise is enough I will look for you always under the light my dear shadow we’re shadowboxing There I am again A chair in a school When I recall him this time I’ll be the angel by his side tell me little man what did you do what makes your head burn what’s getting to you he won’t let it lie he won’t take an eye for an eye so I find that we’re stuck in a feedback loop all these voices of mine picking fights when the noise is enough I will look for you always under the light my dear shadow we’re shadowboxing
12.
this air-conditioned hell it never does surprise me these glowing little bells they take me when they ring I made it through the tunnel without a single bruise but now my eyes won’t open quite like they used to can you hear me tapping on the glass? can you hear me tapping on the glass? saint Francis on my astro-lawn reclining in a chair he says he gave me notice but he can’t recite the prayer I tried to get real loaded leave easy life behind but I didn’t have a motive so they hung me out to dry can you hear me tapping on the glass? can you hear me tapping on the glass? I crashed into the cell right through the ceiling floor piano keys and baby’s teeth my mother opening the door I tailed the van through Lincoln Heights it stopped before the bridge a starlit man stepped out and said it’s time to come on in can you hear me tapping on the glass? can you hear me tapping on the glass?

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released June 28, 2024

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