Here’s what you need to consider before you make a sex tape

Aidan MilanPublished Feb 15, 2022, 5:04pm|Updated Feb 17, 2022, 1:45pm

a picture of a camera pointed at a bed — It shouldn’t be undertaken lightly (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

As Disney+’s new series Pam and Tommy has reminded us, making a sex tape can go right and it can also go very, very wrong.

If you’re thinking of making your own X-rated movie, there are some things you’ll have to give some serious thought to beforehand.

While we’re not exactly expecting people to break into safes to steal private material up and down the nation, those things range from when to do foreplay to the overall security of where you’ll store the tape.

That’s why Dr Laura Vowels, principal researcher and therapist at sex therapy app Blueheart, has shared her advice on what couples need to think about before they wade into the waters of X-rated video.

Agree on the content ahead of time

As with unrecorded sex, it’s important to establish what your boundaries are.

‘I would advise asking your partner whether they want to incorporate certain sex toys, positions or role-play scenes into the tape,’ says Dr Laura.

‘It’s also important to discuss the intended length of filming, and whether either of you would want to experiment with different filming angles.

‘Having these conversations beforehand will help you and your partner avoid any conflict and feelings of anxiety or discomfort during filming.’

Try foreplay before the camera starts rolling

Dr Laura says this can help you get into the mood and combat any nerves you might be experiencing.

‘Getting in the mood before you start recording is especially important if one or both of you is feeling nervous,’ she advises.

‘Make sure you both feel connected and intimate as a couple before the camera starts rolling; you could begin by playing with each other, or kissing and cuddling.

‘This will make sure you’re both feeling relaxed and turned on before filming, which will make for a more comfortable and pleasurable experience.’

However, if the nerves are really getting to you, remember that could be a sign that recording a sex tape just isn’t for you right now or possibly ever, so listen to your feelings.

Don’t be afraid to stick to what you know

Don’t feel like you have to reinvent the wheel just because you’re on film.

‘Making a sex tape can be a great opportunity to try something new with your partner, and the excitement of having a camera set up might make you more open to experimenting,’ says Dr Laura.

‘But if you are feeling awkward or nervous, it’s also completely fine to stick to the sexual acts that you feel most comfortable with – some couples may prefer to pretend that the camera isn’t there.

‘It’s important to remember that it’s the process of making the tape that’s the fun part, rather than the end result, so just enjoy it.’

Protect your tape

Once you’ve done the deed, security is key.

‘After you’ve finished filming, try to avoid saving your video to cloud storage platforms, as these can easily be hacked,’ says Dr Laura.

‘It’s best to store it in a safe, password-protected place and to reset the passwords that lead to its location, to ensure that you alone are the only one with access to it.

‘Additionally, if you want to wipe the video from your device, double-check that it’s been securely deleted from recycling bins or phone storage.’

Don’t rush into it

Dr Laura says there needs to be a high level of trust between you and your paramour, given that you’ll need to rely on each other to keep the tape private.

She adds: ‘I would advise having a conversation with your partner to make sureyou’re both equally interested in making a sex tape, and that neither of you feels pressured to film.

‘This activity should be a mutual decision that you’re both happy with.’

Due to the sensitive nature of what you’re planning on filming, Dr Laura suggests laying out ground rules on things like what will happen to the tape after it’s been filmed, how it will be viewed, if/when it will deleted, and what should happen to the tape if the two of you break up.

‘Both partners should make a plan around how they would delete all sexually explicit images and videos of each other if the relationship ends,’ she says, ‘to avoid situations in which material can be accidentally or purposefully leaked.’

She adds: ‘Once porn is leaked onto the internet, it’s almost impossible to completely remove it, so both partners need to be aware of the long-term damage it can cause.

‘From influencing future job prospects to causing emotional and sexual trauma, all consequences should be discussed and considered.’

Revenge porn - the legal part

Revenge porn has been illegal in England and Wales since 2015.

Laura Baumanis, criminal solicitor with Olliers, tells us: ‘It is a criminal offence for intimate images to be shared without the consent of all of the parties involved – if the image is shared with the intention to cause embarrassment or distress.

‘If you believe a former partner is considering sharing such an image, it is worth advising them of the law, and the possible repercussions of doing so.’

She adds: ‘To avoid any issues or conflict, it may be advisable to speak openly with your partner before recording any intimate act, in order to agree boundaries and ensure that all parties involved are comfortable. You may wish to discuss at the outset whether the footage is to be retained, or deleted, and to be clear on whether it is a video that all parties agree can be shared.

‘If you have recorded sexual acts with a partner and your relationship comes to an end, you may wish to consider speaking to them about deleting any images retained and making it clear that they should never be shared.’

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