The Sam/Joel relationship is arguably the headliner when talking about why Somebody Somewhere is such a winner of a show. It’s proof that this series understands and cares about how deeply important platonic friendships are. (And the on-screen chemistry between Bridget Everett and Jeff Hiller is unmatched, which doesn’t hurt.) But if you’ve been sleeping on how lovely and complex and relatable Sam and Tricia’s sibling relationship is, oh, I hope “What if it spreads?” woke you right up from that mistake. When we first met the Miller sisters in season one, they could barely stand to be around each other, but because they’ve been through some pretty shitty stuff together — the loss of their sister Holly, Tricia’s divorce, everything that’s gone down with their parents — they’ve come to rely on one another. And yes, that support includes both wiping away tears when your sister is crying over feelings for a guy and also one sister inspecting the other’s vagina for venereal diseases. The bonds of sisterhood contain multitudes.
If you need a quick refresher on the dynamic between Sam and Tricia, look no further than when Tricia rolls up in her Escalade 45 minutes earlier than she told Sam, sipping on her giant Stanley cup, and demands her sister get in the car so they can get to the Great Plains Event Expo in Kansas City early — this is important! Sam says of course, and then proceeds to move as slowly as humanly possible while getting ready, just to get under her sister’s skin. In her defense, Sam really did work up a sweat with those Billy Blanks tae-bo workouts (change is hard, but she is following doctor’s orders!), and the Event Expo isn’t really her scene; this is for Tricia to get inspired and to network — she is manifesting all over the Midwest, remember — and Sam is just there for support. She makes it very clear: “These are your people, they terrify me, way too many teeth.”
And yet, the whole setup gives Sam and Tricia a lot of time to bond. Sam has some weird news to share: She found love letters their mom wrote to their dad stashed away at the house. They are both appropriately horrified and angry that they never got to see this side of their parents’ relationship, instead enduring only the toxic parts. Sam readily admits that it’s why her attitude toward marriage is so fucked. She has a lot of insecurities around dating, but being damaged from watching her own parents’ relationship certainly doesn’t help.
Hey, speaking of being damaged by people from your youth, we should talk about Joel and Brad’s little storyline in this episode. Sam isn’t alone in being dragged to an event she would like zero part of in the name of supporting a person she loves; while she’s at the expo, Joel is attending a men’s Bible book club with Brad. They’re discussing “grace and aging” and I’ve never wanted to jump into a river and let it carry me away more, to be honest. Joel isn’t thrilled about the theme either, but it’s not his biggest concern. Mostly, he’s worried about being in a space with just men. “Any place without women does sound terrifying,” he tells Sam.
He relays his fears to Brad, someone who, Joel says, is so good at fitting in with the guys. Joel could never do that. “It’s muscle memory for me,” Brad tells him. He’s older than Joel and comes from a time where he didn’t have a choice but to attempt to fit into a very narrow definition of masculinity. Somebody Somewhere is a show that excels at subtly, never hitting you over the head with the point it’s trying to make and instead letting the great character work that’s been building for three seasons do its work. It’s definitely the case here, as the show not only explores how the age difference between Joel and Brad shapes their relationship, but also how growing up as gay men in relatively different eras has shaped them as individuals. Like so many scenes on this show, this one is quiet yet effective. And also like so many scenes on this show, it ends by reminding us this is a comedy, too, and I’m sorry but if Tim Bagley isn’t nominated for all the awards for his work this season — a few weeks ago singing his sweet little heart out, this week becoming the absolute dorkiest road-rage monster — there is no justice in this world.
The conversation in the car also perfectly tees up the interaction Joel has with a man named Brett at the Bible group. We haven’t learned a ton about Joel’s experience growing up other than a little info about how he tried to hide who he was, but never could, and you can imagine how scary that could have been for a gay kid growing up in Manhattan, Kansas. And then who should walk into the study group but Joel’s old high school bully. We don’t need to know any of the details to immediately understand that Joel still carries a lot of pain from whatever went down. Brett apologizes and Joel tries to brush it off with an “it’s fine,” even though he is clearly crying. And while I don’t expect the two to have any sort of additional healing, the moment has a gorgeous effect on our Joel.
Back in the car, after Brad asks him if he’s okay, he finally speaks up about the things he needs to make their relationship work, things he’s been hiding from Brad. He needs to spend more time with his friends. He needs to be allowed to load the dishwasher. He needs to put pictures of the people he loves on the refrigerator. These are not complicated asks, but they are important to Joel – things that have perhaps healed some of that childhood trauma, things that make him happy or make him feel safe. If just letting the man load the dishwasher can do all that, as insane as his technique might be, you let the man load the dishwasher. And Brad gets that. All Joel had to do was ask. Life is too short, my babies.
Sam and Tricia find out what’s on the other side of being open and vulnerable with each other, too. And I mean really vulnerable. I guess I mean really open, too, when you think about logistics.
The Expo is going great. All of Tricia’s manifesting is paying off. She’s learning so much, she’s making plans for Country Club Mitch’s big event, and she is even cozying up with the big star of the event, Cathleen-with-a-C, or “the Joanna Gaines of the Midwest.” This is her time, baby! She feels alive. She feels untouchable. She feels so alive and untouchable that she doesn’t force Sam to go up and do karaoke at the big mixer and instead she grabs the mic. Tricia is on top of the world.
Until she’s on the toilet. And there is burning. So much burning. She is beside herself wondering what this could be. Maybe it’s just a UTI, she wonders. But all of us, Sam and Tricia included, know it’s not a UTI even before Sam crosses the boundary in a sister bond that you can never go back from and takes a look at Tricia’s vagina to see what’s happening down there. It’s like half a second before Sam can indeed confirm, there is no way that’s a UTI. Upon further research, Sam thinks it’s chlamydia, which really isn’t so, so bad in the grand scheme of STDs.
Tricia is raging. Who could’ve given this to her?! How could this have happened?! And then it dawns on her: Rick. Yes, that Rick.
Sam is outraged! Tricia is outraged! We are all outraged! Apparently, Rick stopped by recently and gave Tricia a whole song and dance about how much he misses her and she felt bad and also drunk. The cut to Tricia in the shower absolutely ranting about Rick’s dirty dick is perfection. Mary Catherine Garrison in this entire sequence is perfection. Sam getting grossed out when Tricia flings her underwear out the shower door and it lands on Sam’s foot, also perfection. You don’t think this episode could get better and then Somebody Somewhere deftly moves from this pitch-perfect comedy bit into something surprising and lovely, and honestly, any show that can swing this easily from making me cry from laughter into making me cry because emotions, well, that’s the kind of show I want to tuck myself into forever and ever.
The Miller sisters are in bed quietly processing the events of the day. While things have calmed down over the “diseased twat” situation — a trip to urgent care in the morning is on the schedule — Tricia can see something is on Sam’s mind. The whole conversation that follows not only illustrates just how far these sisters have come in their relationship, but really honors it. Sam fesses up that she is angsting about a guy, but knows that nothing will ever come of it because, well, nothing ever comes of it. She wants Tricia, who refuses to accept Sam giving up on herself before she even starts, to be serious. But Tricia is being serious. She thinks Sam should just ask him out — what’s the worst that could happen? Sam probably has a running list of the terrible things that could happen were she to put herself out there, but Tricia pushes back. “There’s nothing to be scared of. Nobody knows what they’re doing. Nobody. You just… do it,” she tells her sister. None of this is said with any kind of judgment or condescension – you can see how much Tricia wishes her sister would bet on herself for once. When Sam starts crying and brushes off the tears as stupid, Tricia wipes them away and makes sure she knows how not stupid any of this is.
In true Miller sister – and Somebody Somewhere – form, we’re not ending on tears. The conversation turns to giggles about manifesting what you want for yourself and questions about whether or not Tricia manifested her little STD gift. The next morning, Sam teases Tricia about the antibiotics she has to take for her new friend and Tricia teases Sam about the fact that the guy she is unraveling about is Iceland, because yes, of course she snooped on her sister’s phone. But there’s also this great acknowledgement about how much Sam and Tricia take care of each other. You know these two didn’t have any type of relationship with each other that even resembled this when they were younger, so the fact that they get a shot at it now is such a gift. And not in the sarcastic way like Tricia’s STD gift, but, like, an actual gift. You get it.
Tender Moments
• Joel to Brad when he offers to drive home after Joel’s emotional encounter: “I don’t think I can risk a road rage incident when I’m feeling this fragile.” I’m stealing that line and using it even in non-vehicle related situations.
• Not to like, belabor the point (the point being that Mary Catherine Garrison is incredible in this episode), but the way Garrison yells the phrase “waving that dirty dick all over town” should be studied. That’s art.
• Ending the episode with Salt-N-Pepa’s “None of Your Business”? Just when I thought I couldn’t love this show any more.