Interpersonal communication

Interpersonal communication is usually defined by communication scholars in numerous ways, usually describing participants who are dependent upon one another. It can involve one on one conversations or individuals interacting with many people within a society. It helps us understand how and why people behave and communicate in different ways to construct and negotiate a social reality. While interpersonal communication can be defined as its own area of study, it also occurs within other contexts like groups and organizations.Interpersonal communication is the process that we use to communicate our ideas, thoughts, and feelings to another person. Our interpersonal communication skills are learned behaviors that can be improved through knowledge, practice, feedback, and reflection. Interpersonal communication includes message sending and message reception between two or more individuals. This can include all aspects of communication such as listening, persuading, asserting, nonverbal communication. Interpersonal communication can be conducted using both direct and indirect mediums of communication such as face-to-face interaction, as well as computermediated-communication. Successful interpersonal communication assumes that both the message senders and the message receivers will interpret and understand the messages being sent on a level of understood meanings and implications.

Definition of interpersonal communication

Interpersonal communication is the universal form of communication that takes place between two individuals. Since it is person-to-person contact, it includes everyday exchange that may be formal or informal and can take place anywhere by means of words, sounds, facial expression, gestures and postures.

What is Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal Communication as the process we use to build relationships with others through communication by effectively doing the following

Understanding the others situation we cant build relationships with others if we dont take time to listen and be fully aware of where the person we are speaking with is coming from. Communicating in the right manner its not what we say that matters but also the tone we use and how we say it based on our understanding of them that can help the person we speak with listen and understand our intentions and ideas Influencing them to listen and/or take action as needed - at the end of the day, the purpose of communication is to reach a common understanding, build a better relationship, and/or agree on what to do next if action is required.

The Basic Model of Communication

This model is also quite helpful in providing a simple overview of the mechanics of the communication process. In combination with the ShannonWeaver model, it can teach us much about the practice of communicating the gospel with maximum clarity. There are six components of the communication process. The Basic Model of the Communication Process

From David Hesselgrave's Communicating Christ Cross Culturally (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Press, 1980), p. 29.

1. The Information Source

The information is, of course, the gospel and we, the Christian communicators, are the source. There is a sense in which we are only a secondary source, God being the primary source/initiator of the entire process of communicating the gospel. Thus, we communicate only because He has first communicated through Christ. As He communicates, He continually seeks the lost through the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit.

2. Encoding (Transmitting) The Signal

The source "encodes" the message. This means to put the message into some kind of coded system for the benefit of the respondent (listener).2 We will limit our discussion to the encoding of the message into words, written and spoken.3 The source must package and present the message in a manner that offers the best chance of reaching and influencing the listener. That is, the communicator puts the gospel into his or her own words, or presents someone else's words (such as by using a tract or other gospel presentation), keeping in mind the listener's ability to understand the message.

3. The Message
For us, this is the content of the gospel itself. It is the specific information concerning the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and His offer of love and forgiveness to sinners.

4. Noise Source
Probably all of us have had the experience of answering the telephone and not being able to hear our caller over the static. The issue here is one of "fidelity" or accurate message transmission. Static or "noise" is present in the mechanics of phone-to-phone communication, and it is even more common in the mechanics of interpersonal communication. It has been estimated that even in the best of situations, communication is only 80 percent effective. Part of the reason is noise. Noise could be defined as "unwanted signals that can disrupt message fidelity." In the arena of interpersonal communication, there are at least four sources of noise that hamper the transmission of the gospel from person to person.

(1) Cultural noise. This comes in the form of cultural misconceptions and negative input that directly distort the understanding of the gospel by the listener. As a result, he is not able to hear accurately what we are saying. For instance, the listener may be influenced by the secular view of man as independent from and not responsible to God. Thus, he perceives the gospel to be irrelevant and quite possibly nonsense. The nominalist might be influenced by cultural noise that says, "Jesus is nice but not necessary. " Thus, he could easily misinterpret the gospel as the cure for "whatever ails you" rather than as a message of forgiveness. (2) Theological noise. Our message of Jesus Christ as the substitute for sin may be muffled by the theological static of "I'm O.K., you're O.K., so who needs to throw himself on the mercy of Christ?" Or the misdirected religious person may perceive that what one believes does not really matter as long as he is sincere. (3) Personal noise: This static comes in the form of personal experiences and attitudes that hinder the listener from appreciating the ramifications and benefits of the gospel to himself. For instance, He may have had a negative experience with some "Christians" or have been turned off to the gospel by past religious experiences. He may reason, "I know some Christians and I wouldn't want to be one," or "I've tried to be religious and it didn't work." (4) Spiritual noise. The Bible is quite clear that Satan has blinded the minds of the unbelieving (2 Corinthians 4:4). The world system is designed to tell the nonbeliever a set of lies concerning his eternal destiny and Jesus Christ. Only the Holy Spirit can counteract the debilitating effects of this noise. Only he can graciously enable the listener to operate on a frequency that overrides his spiritual blindness, freeing him to see the light of the gospel and its power for salvation. The sure presence of noise is the very reason that the wise Christian communicator will do his homework so he can get in touch with his listener's heart. Noise levels and patterns differ greatly from person to person, but the unchanging gospel must be clearly communicated so that all can hear and have an opportunity to believe.

5. Decoding
Upon hearing the message, the listener must interpret or decode it (Figure 5) so that he mentally grasps the message in terms that are meaningful to him. Remember, listeners decode, or understand, messages only in the framework of the

presuppositions and assumptions of their personal world. The source must encode and transmit the message with this is mind. The meanings are not so much in the words as they are in the people. "We do not transmit meaning, we transmit words. Words stimulate the meaning the other person has for them."4 As the Chinese proverb says, "90% of what we see lies behind our eyes." I became painfully aware of this truth as I attempted to share the gospel with a Mormon. He heartily agreed with my presentation. He said he had been "saved" by the "grace of Jesus," was "born again" and was going to "heaven." While our wording was the same, however, we were using a different dictionary. He agreed with me because he interpreted my words from his own framework, which provided the same words but with different meanings. I am afraid that the noise and perils of decoding got the best of our conversation. The combination of noise and decoding can take its toll on the fidelity of the message. Therefore, the communicator must work to ensure that the message is received and understood with the highest degree of accuracy possible.

6. Feedback
How does the communicator know if his message has broken through the noise, been decoded correctly and penetrated the heart? The answer is to cultivate an atmosphere that encourages feedback. As Figure 6 indicates, feedback is the process by which the listener becomes the source, encoding the information he has just received from you, then giving a message back to you that reflects the degree of his understanding. Feedback is vital in evangelistic communication for at least four reasons.

3 Most Common Myths about Interpersonal Communication

Its immensely difficult to improve your interpersonal communication if you still believe in some common myths. Here are three of the most common myths. Myth #1: Focus just on the facts: Facts are important in a conversation but cant be the only focus. Often we spend too much time figuring out what facts we want to communicate and too little time on how we want to communicate them. Every person we speak to is human with insecurities, ambitions, and bias. So remember

the common adage Its not what you say but how you make people feel that matters. Myth #2: If I am right, I can say so: Its never a good idea to kick someone when they are down. If someone on your team makes a mistake, communicate that but focus the conversation more on where to go from there and allow them to recover. If your customer over-billed you, you still dont want to over-step in your communication. Its always better for the relationship if you give others the benefit of the doubt. Myth #3: Sugar coat bad news: Bad news like a layoff message or a message to your boss about a mistake you made at work is difficult to deliver. Its important to deliver the message tactfully but this is not the same as sugar coating. Sugar coating implies being not as direct or clear about the gravity of the message. While sugar coating a message may make you feel more comfortable, it wont help as it can confuse or make the listener feel patronized. Sincerity and a focus on moving forward help more. Whatever happened already happened. So be straightforward and focus on next steps.

Functions of Interpersonal communication

We use interpersonal communication for a variety of reasons. For example, interpersonal communication helps us understand our world better. It helps us understand a situation in a better way. We also use interpersonal communication to think and evaluate more effectively. Often it is used to change behavior also. The three specific functions are: 1. Linking function 2. Mentation function and 3. Regulatory function. The linking function connects a person with his or her environment. The mentation function helps us conceptualize, remember, and plan. It is a mental or intellectual function. The regulatory function serves to regulate our own and others behavior. Through interpersonal communication we are nurtured as infants, physically, emotionally and intellectually. Again through interpersonal communication we develop cultural, social and psychological links with the world. In fact, interpersonal communication is the very basis of our survival and growth as it helps us to function more practically.

Variables affecting interpersonal relationships

Many variables affect the interpersonal relationships. These are selfdisclosure, feedback, nonverbal behavior and interpersonal attraction. Our success or failure in handling these variables, determine how satisfying our interpersonal relationships will be. Self-disclosure lets others know what we are thinking, how we are feeling and what we care about. Self-disclosure helps reduce anxiety, increase comfort, and intensify interpersonal attractions. Feedback is the response of a receiver that reaches back the sender. It involves agreeing; asking questions and responding through feeling statements. Nonverbal behavior plays an important role in interpersonal communication. A smile, a hug, a pat, a firm handshake, etc. can achieve much more than words in certain situations. Eye contact, gestures, posture, facial expressions, etc. are also important elements of our nonverbal behavior. Interpersonal attraction is the ability to draw others towards oneself. Some people are said to have magnetic personalities. People are drawn to them. It is this special chemistry that causes love at first sight.

Development of Interpersonal relationships

Research has proved that like individual personalities, interpersonal relationships also evolve over time through our experiences, acquired knowledge and environmental factors. The phases through which interpersonal relationships develop are:

Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating and Bonding

Initiating is the first phase during which we make conscious and unconscious judgments about others. In fact, sometimes it takes us as little as 15 seconds to judge a person. Then communication is started either verbally or nonverbally (through eye contact, being closer to the other person, etc.) The next phase is experimenting. Here, we start small-talks (talking about general things rather that about specific things), while attempting to find out common

interests. During this stage we try to determine whether continuing the relationship is worthwhile. The third stage is intensifying. Here the awareness about each other is increased and both the persons start participating more in conversation. Selfdisclosure by both participants results in trust and creates a rapport. Experiences, assumptions and expectations are shared and we start becoming more informal. Also there is increased nonverbal behavior with more touching, nodding, etc. The next step is integrating. Here we try to meet the expectations of the person. We also start sharing interests, attitudes, etc. The final stage is bonding. Here serious commitments and sacrifices are made. One example of commitment is to decide to remain as friends. Another is marriage. All these phases can take a few seconds to develop (as in case of love at first sight) or may take days or weeks or more time.

Types Of Communication Channel And Influences on it:

Communication is the passage of information between one person or group to another person or group. Communication involves the process of the exchange of information among two or more parties which is best represented be a simple model of communication between two persons: the sender and the receiver. The sender is the originator of the communication, who encodes and transmits the message; also known as the encoder. The receiver is the recipient of the communication who decodes the message; also known as the decoder. The medium by which we send a message may have a direct influence on how well that message is transmitted and the reactions of those for whom it is intended. The process of preparing a message for transmission is referred to as encoding. The next step for the sender is to select the channel, the vehicle through which the message will flow. The channels may include:

Telephone

Advantages: verbal, interactive, convenient, immediate feedback

Disadvantages: less personal, no records, possibility of misunderstanding, could be inconveniently timed, can be hard to terminate

Face-to-face

Advantages: visual, personal contact, can explain, can set mood, immediate feedback Disadvantages: timing may be inconvenient, requires spontaneous thinking, may be difficult to terminate, power or status may cause pressure

Meetings

Advantages: can use visuals, involves several minds, twoway flow Disadvantages: time-consuming, may be inconvenient. One person may dominate

Memorandum Advantages: brief, provides a record, can prethink the message, can disseminate widely Disadvantages: no control over the receiver, less personal, one-way flow, delayed feedback

Formal report Advantages: complete, comprehensive, can organise the material at writers leisure, can disseminate widely Disadvantages: less personal, may require considerable time in reading, language may be difficult, expensive, one-way flow, delayed feedback

 Teleconferencing

Advantages: saves time for travel, visual, lessens impact of power/status, makes users be better prepared Disadvantages: miss interpersonal contact, not good for initial brainstorming sessions, expensive

Electronic mail

Advantages: convenient, messages sent/received at all Hours extremely fast Disadvantages: ease can lead to message overload. Others may be able to get access to messages

The richness of the medium should be the main basis on which to make decisions about how exactly to send a message. Richer media are those where multiple cues are provided and feedback can be very rapid. Face to face we can transmit all our usual non-verbal cues and can appreciate immediately the effect our message has on its target. A telephone call contains some of these aspects but no visual cues. Memos, emails or at worst, public notices, contain decreasing levels of richness.

The flow of communication in organisations:

Messages flow through communication lines and networks, giving life to the work of organisations. The communication flow in work organisations is usually classified into three types: it can flow downward through the organisational hierarchy; upward, through the same chain of command; or it can flow laterally from colleague to colleague.

Downward communication:
This consists of messages sent from superiors to subordinates. Most commonly they are: 1. Instructions or directions concerning job-performance 2. Information about organisational procedures and policies 3. Feedback to the subordinates concerning job performance 4. Information to assist in the coordination of work tasks.

While much formal communication in organisations is downward, research indicates that most organisations still do not have enough of this communication. A number of studies indicate that workers would like more information from their superiors about work procedures and about what is happening elsewhere in the organisation. It also appears that certain types of downward communication may be particularly limited, such as feedback concerning work performance. This is especially true in companies that fail to conduct regular performance appraisals.

Upward communication :
This is the flow of messages from the lower levels of the organisation to the upper levels. It most typically consists of information managers need to perform their jobs, such as feedback concerning the status of lower-level operations, which could include reports of production output or information about any problems. The upward flow of information is critical for managers, who must use this information to make important work-related decisions. Upward communication can also involve complaints and suggestions for improvement from lower-level workers and is significant because it gives subordinates some input into the functioning of the organisation.

Lateral communication:
This is the flow of communication between people who are on the same level in an organisation, and is particularly important when co-workers must coordinates their activities in order to accomplish a goal. Lateral communication can also occur between two or more departments in an organisation e.g. between the production and quality-control departments. Lateral communication allows for the sharing of news and information and helps develop interpersonal relationships. But too much socialising on the job can detract from effective job performance.

Communication networks:
When we look beyond two-person communication to the linkages among work groups, departmental or organisational members, we are concerned with communication networks, which are systems of communication lines linking various senders and receivers.

The flow of information is regulated by several factors: the proximity of workers to one another, the rules governing who communicates with whom, the status hierarchy, and other elements such as job assignments and duties. Communication networks are formal and follow the organigram within an organisation.

Centralised networks:
The first centralised network the chain represents a five-member status hierarchy. A message originates at the top or bottom of the chain and works its way upward or downward. The flow of information in a chain system is relatively slow process, but it is direct with all members in the hierarchy being made aware of the message since it must pass through each link. A related communication network is the Y (or inverted Y). It is also a hierarchical network and represents four levels of status within the organisation, but its last level of communication involves more than one person. Both chain and Y are similar in speed of communication and formality of who communicates with whom. The wheel network involves two status levels: a higher status member (usually a work supervisor) and four lower-lever members. The higher status member is the centre or hub through which all messages must pass. There is no direct communication between lower-level members. An example might be a sales manager and his four salespersons in the field.

Decentralised networks:
The circle network represents communication between members who are immediately accessible to each other, such as workers positioned side by side on an assembly line. Because messages can originate anywhere and no rules govern the direction in which messages can be sent, it can be difficult to trace the original source of a message. It has a fairly quick rate of transmission. An all-channel network allows complete freedom among communication links. Any member can freely communicate with any other member and all members are accessible to each other. Communication can be very rapid and there

is maximum opportunity for feedback. Boards of directors, problem-solving task forces and employees working as a team are examples of this form of communication.

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Written and Spoken Communication

Communication is either written or spoken. Let us look at the various advantages and the disadvantages of written and spoken communication.

Written Communication
Some of the main advantages and disadvantages of written communication are:

Advantages
- Written communication is good for complicated and vital instructions, which can be given in a precise and uniform manner. - There is a lesser chance for the message to be misunderstood.

- Written instructions can be checked at a latter date. It serves as a useful reference. - Authority is transmitted more effectively with a written order than with an oral one

Disadvantages
- It is impersonal. - People may not always read them. - It does not answer questions and there is no immediate feedback.

Spoken Communication:
Examples of spoken communication that is used in the workplace include conversations, interviews, counseling/helping colleagues, meetings, conferences

Advantages:
- Oral communication allows for immediate feedback such as the opportunity to ask questions when the meaning is not entirely clear. - The sender is able to check and see whether if the instruction is clear or has created confusion. - Spoken instructions are flexible and easily adaptable to many diverse situations.

Disadvantages
- Poor presentation of the message or the instruction can result in misunderstanding and wrong responses. - Spoken communication is influenced by both both verbal and non-verbal communication such as tone or body language which may skew the meaning of your message in the mind of the receiver.