15 Life Lessons

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15 Life Lessons

They Don't Teach You In School

lifelessonsThere is the type of education we get in school and there are life lessons we learn along
the way. Both are important.

The only problem is that life moves us far along before we figure out what's going on and the
wisdom we hope to have gained is sometimes late in coming.

To spare you some of the hard knocks and trial and error, here are some life lessons to help you
along.

1. As Richard Carlson says, 'don't sweat the small stuff', and most of it is small stuff. Much of the
time we get stressed and worked up over "stuff" that in the grand scheme of things really doesn't
matter. When we allow ourselves get too caught up in it we ruin our perspective and don't take time
to enjoy the moment.

2. Life can be unpredictable and throw you some curves. Just say "never" and see what happens! To
avoid the jolt when life's surprises come your way, be prepared by being open-minded and maintain
the positive mindset that welcomes the life lessons offered. See the article: Tips on Overcoming
Adversity

3. The most boring word in any language is "I". It's wonderful to be self-confident and self-
sufficient, however, it's not all about you. There is nothing more monotonous than hearing someone
talk about themselves and their accomplishments endlessly. Being self-centered is not the same as
having self-confidence.

4. People are more important than things. Relationships are more important than any material goods
you may acquire on the road to success. Without the love and support of family and friends in life,
material goods are not of much use. Setting your values and priorities can help you establish what's
important.

5. Nobody else can make you happy. Your happiness and state of mind are your responsibility. It's
up to each of us to know what it takes to be balanced and happy. Our relationships enhance our
lives and make them richer, but they do not "make" us happy. We do. Enjoy: 50 Ways to Be
Happier

6. Character and integrity count. It's important to be a person of honor. Your good word and deeds
inspire trust and confidence from family, friends and employers. Be the kind of person others are
proud to know. See: 10 Character Traits Worth Developing.
7. Forgive yourself, your friends and your enemies. We are all only too human. All of us slip
sometimes and make mistakes. Holding grudges and past hurts only serves to prevent us from
enjoying life to the fullest. See: Forgiveness and Letting Go - How to Achieve It

8. A good joke can be better than any pill. Take time to laugh each day. Humor really is good
medicine.

9. There are no substitutes for exercise, eating well, and fresh air and sunshine. Never take your
health for granted, or underestimate how much feeling good physically affects your moods. Enjoy
this article on The Benefits of Regular Exercise. It's full of helpful tips.

10. Persistence will eventually get you almost anything. Never give up. Keep your goals and dreams
alive.

11. Television probably ruins more minds than drugs. Get away from the TV and read, exercise,
learn and stretch yourself.

12. It's okay to fail. Everyone has failed at one time or another. Failure is a great life teacher. It
teaches us humility and how to correct our course of action. Thomas Edison had a great attitude
towards failure. He said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." See
article: Overcoming fear of Failure

13. Learn from the mistakes of others. There's an old Zen proverb that states: "It takes a wise man
to learn from his mistakes, but an even wiser man to learn from others."

14. Don't be afraid to show and tell others you love them. Life is short, so learn to give and receive
love. Love and be loved.

15. Live so that there is only standing room at your funeral. Be the best spouse, parent, friend, boss,
worker that you can be and leave the world a better place than you found it.

"The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In
life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson." Tom Bodett
Ralph Waldo Emerson. A literary pioneer. Not only did he find the basis of Transcendentalism, or
Bright Romanticism writing; he made great contributions to the field of personal development, and
gave us some great practical ideas about living, that we will ponder upon for centuries to come. He
valued the individual over society, and had many works of literature to enforce his views. In his
works, there were many inspirational quotes that reflected what an individual is. Emerson’s highest
values were: courage, peace, and the power of the individual.

Life lessons from Ralph Waldo EmersonI have selected 6 quotes, which represent Ralph Waldo
Emerson’s views on life. Each quote has its own meaning, and its own method of practical
application.

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain,
you lose something else.”

Isn’t it true? Every opportunity, every chance that you take in life, is the sacrifice of another
opportunity. By choosing to become a writer, you are sacrificing the opportunity to be something
else, like an accountant. So what is the point of it all? The point is to stop worrying about missed
opportunities, because you have no idea what could have been. Maybe if that milk hadn’t been
spilled in the past, you would be in a better present situation? On the other hand, you might also be
in a much worse present situation. Opportunities come and go; it is up to you, the individual, to
make the best decision for yourself. Weigh the pros and cons of each decision, and know that you
are giving up another opportunity. It could be better, it could be worse. It’s all part of the human
being experience.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest
accomplishment.”

Let’s face it: There are always going to be certain people, that don’t want you to succeed. People
who look at you weird when you do something right. Too many people act like robots in today’s
society. They do what is expected of them, get their rewards, repeat. Expectations, Rewards,
Repeat. Emerson could not stand this repetitive cycle. He believed that society turned people into
something that they weren’t born to be. And as a person got older, it was harder and harder to break
free from the strong grasp of society. What does it take to be yourself? For one, it takes a lot of
courage, one of Emerson’s most favorite traits. Whenever someone goes against society standards,
they will take a lot of heat for it. This resistance from others is just a sign that you are doing
something right. No one said that being yourself was easy. Difficult? Yes. Rewarding? Extremely.
In the end, the people that are able to go against the grain of society are the truly great people in our
world.

“We are always getting ready to live, but never living”

When I get my promotion, I’ll really start living! When things have settled down, then I’ll do it!
These are common phrases that you hear from people. Will the dust ever settle? No. Will you ever
get the promotion? You might, but then you’ll come up with another excuse not to take action. The
truth is that there are hundreds, if not thousands of excuses you can make not to take action. There
is always a little voice inside your head, afraid of failure, and afraid of success. Your ability to truly
live is dependent upon your ability to ignore that counterproductive voice inside your head. What
you’re hearing is the voice of complacence. The moment you stop listening to it, is the moment you
begin your real life. Until then, you will always be getting ready for a change in your life. But
getting ready for something, and actually doing it, are two different things entirely.

“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.”
Life is all about learning new skills. Once you have acquired these skills, you must constantly seek
to improve them. In your industry/job, there will always be people who are up-and-coming. These
people will surpass you, unless you are constantly seeking to improve yourself. Like my former
teacher once told me: “The moment you are satisfied with what you have, is the moment that
someone else will take your spot in the race of life.” Emerson believed that life is about growing,
and there was no point in living if you don’t constantly grow. No matter what you know, or how
many skills you possess, there is always more to learn about your respective interests. You can
always do a better job, regardless of how good you are at what you do.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

Destiny is overrated. Yeah, I said it. There are too many people attached to the idea of ‘fate’, and
‘destiny’, that they believe they can lay back, do nothing, and their fate will take over. Well I have
some bad news to those people: Your destiny is not looking very good! Is there any wildly
successful person, off the top of your head, who got to where they are by doing nothing? No. People
who are truly great don’t rely on the concept of fate/destiny. There is no proof/evidence to support
its actual existence. So here is one of the keys to life: Live life like fate and destiny don’t exist.
Decide what you want to be, pick out your future, and make your own destiny. After all, whoever
we think we are, we become!

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself”

Perhaps Emerson’s most powerful quote. Ultimate power to the individual. Who else but yourself
can bring peace into your life? It hurts to say this, but horrible things happen every day. Murder,
kidnapping, rape, you name it. It happens to amazing people. The external world is never peaceful.
But you don’t have to suffer at the hands of other people. Until the day you die, you can choose to
be at peace with the world. You can let go of your surroundings, and be one with nature. One of
Emerson’s friends, Henry David Thoreau, believed in the peace of nature. He spent a couple of
years submerged in nothing but the beauty of nature itself! Now that is how you find peace! But I’m
not saying that you need to spend years in the wilderness to be at peace with yourself. I’m saying
that you need to acknowledge your spirituality, and the peace that has been within you since birth.
When we learn to find peace within ourselves, the world around us changes. We attract more
external peace, while radiating a signal of internal peace! It’s strange, but that’s how life works.
From the inside-out, not the outside-in.

The human spirit is as strong as can be. However, society has gradually weakened it. As children,
we are born with our own respective traits, attitudes, and beliefs. We are our own person. However,
as we get older, we conform to society, and lose our sense of individuality. But you know what I
say? No! Emerson refused to give up his right to be different, and refused to conform to society’s
standard. This is what every human being is meant to do. To go against the grain, is to find your
own way of life. To do it your way, like it has never been done before!
If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise
counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.
Joseph Addison

Looking at my life, there are many life lessons I’ve learned. Some of them are the fruits of difficult
experiences. Some others are the advice I got from wise people. They came from different sources
but they all have something in common: they are all useful to guide my life into the future.

Life lessonsHere I’d like to share with you eight life lessons that have significantly affected my life.
Apply them and you will achieve true success in life. Here they are:

1. Be grateful

Being grateful is perhaps the most important attitude you must have to live a happy life. No matter
how bad the situations around you are, you can always choose to respond positively. Being grateful
makes you look at the world through positive lens and energizes your life. Don’t take things for
granted. Be grateful even for simple things.

2. Follow your heart

Nothing can replace following your heart. People may tell you about the right thing to do or what
they expect from you, but at the end, it’s your life. If you don’t live your own life, who will?

So slow down and listen to your heart. What does it tell you about your career? What does it tell
you about your relationships? Listen to your heart and find the courage to follow it.

3. Dream big

How far you go is very much determined by how big your dream is. Having a small dream is like
putting yourself inside a small box. You might end up living far below your fullest potential.

Of course, it’s not easy to dream big. Perhaps your failures in the past scare you. Perhaps you don’t
think you have what it takes to achieve your dream. But don’t let negativity push you down. Be
dare to dream big.

If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started with a
dream and a mouse.
Walt Disney

4. Good is the worst enemy of best

When you reach a position that is good enough, you may become comfortable and think that it’s no
longer worth it to continue fighting for the best. That’s why good is the worst enemy of best: it
makes you stop before you achieve your fullest potential. It distracts you from pursuing your best
life. Be grateful for what you have but understand that you still have a lot more in front of you.

5. Run your own race

Your race is different from other people’s races. Realizing this is liberating because it frees you
from envy. When you hear that other people are successful, you can sincerely be grateful since you
are not in competition with them. At the same time, it also pushes you to live your best life. Why?
Because you are competing against yourself.

I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.
Mikhail Baryshnikov

6. Focus on what you can control

Sometimes you might have bad experiences that you can’t do anything about. If that happened,
don’t dwell on it. You are wasting a lot of mental energy if you do. Move on and focus instead on
things you can control. Applying this frees you from a lot of stress and worries.

One application of this principle is on changing people. Which one do you think you can change:
yourself or other people? You can’t change other people but you can change yourself. So focus on
changing yourself.

7. Failure is your friend

Befriending failure makes you dare to try new things. It puts you on the path of inventions,
breakthroughs, and innovations. Failure is often the price of progress.

Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate
of failure.
Thomas J. Watson

8. Relationships are your greatest treasures

At the end, what do you want to achieve in life? Will it be meaningful to have a lot of money if you
have broken relationships? Will it be meaningful to be famous if you lose love? I don’t think so.
Your relationships are your greatest treasures. Understand it before it’s too late.

Photo by pshutterbug
21 Essential Life Lessons
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Blogging collaborations are smoking hot these days, and with good reason.

Inviting a diverse blend of voices to share in an ebook or other project brings depth and fresh
perspectives to a topic, not to mention it’s a great way to lighten the writing workload. Plus,
promotional power for the project multiplies in proportion to the number of contributors involved.

That’s why I quickly said, “Yes!” when my friend, Farnoosh Brock of Prolific Living invited me to
participate in Abukabar Jamil’s Life Lesson’s Series. Contributing to this collaboration seemed like
a perfect way to show Virgin Blogger Notes’ readers how collaborations work, while writing from
the heart for an amazing project.

The truth is, I’m a big believer in self-reflection as a tool for personal growth. I’m convinced that
wrapped inside every circumstance is at least one lesson, as well as a blessing. The blessings
nourish and sustain us on the road ahead, and the lessons–when we take care to heed them–give
direction to our steps so we can stay on a path of peace and joy.

The guidelines for this collaboration ask that we share lessons we wish we would have known
earlier in life, so with that in mind, here’s my list of ‘21 Essential Life Lessons‘:

Be kind to everyone, including yourself.


Don’t be possessed by possessions.
Stay off the main roads.
There are seven days in the week–’some day’ isn’t one of them.
Clean up your own messes.
If you don’t have a plan for your life, someone else will.
The world is as big or small as you make it.
Life is really, really (really!) short.
Drive your own bus.
Grow as much of your own food as possible.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
If you want a better life, think better thoughts.
True direction comes from inside, not outside.
Use what you have.
People are all pretty much alike.
Drama belongs on the page or the stage.
You are not superior or inferior to anyone.
If you don’t like your life, change it.
Not everyone will like you.
99.5% of what you worry about will never happen.
When someone invites you to join in a fabulous collaboration, say “Yes!“

Your turn: Do any of these lessons resonate with you, or do you have some others to share?
21 Essential Life Lessons

Brett / 33 Comments / November 2nd, 2010 / Subscribe via RSS

Throughout my relatively short life – I’m only 17 – I’ve learned a few fundamental truths that seem
to govern our lives. They’re extremely powerful and, to an extent, have changed my life for the
better. I can only sit back and ask myself, “What if I learned these things earlier in my life? How
amazing would I be now?”. Seriously. They’re that fantastic, and, today, I’m going to share my best
life lessons with you.

Let’s get this show on the road.

21 Essential Life Lessons

1. Be careful who you get close to. I’m not advocating paranoia, but be very, very careful with who
you make your close friends, especially if they have any destructive habits, like addiction. If they’re
a control freak, if they have ridiculous mood swings, or if they treat you poorly, do not feel bad
about cutting them out of your life entirely. You have to be ruthless in this regard. If you let them
get close to you, you’ll get burned – it’s only a matter of time. Be understanding, but when you cut
ties with them, do it in an understanding, tactful way and don’t burn bridges if you can. Just
distance yourself from them, and don’t have regrets about it – it’s your life, and the company you
keep has a tremendous effect on your emotional state.

2. Your time and energy are finite. Even though I hate to admit it sometimes, I can only do so
much. You can too. Choose how you spend your time and energy wisely – if you’re burning out all
your energy on something that doesn’t leave much of an impact, it’s time to go back to the drawing
board. Spend your energy on the necessities and the things that you love the most. That’s it.

3. Today’s tragedy is tomorrow’s comedy. If you’re going through a rough patch, remind yourself
that, at the end of it, you’ll still be alive and nothing totally catastrophic will have happened. Over
time, the wounds will heal, and you’ll, at the very least, have an awesome story of survival and
perseverance to tell around the proverbial campfire.

4. Read. A lot. Reading is the single best habit you can cultivate. Read everything that interests you
– from Wikipedia articles to books. Reading makes you smarter – it helps with your memory, it
helps with your writing, and it helps with your speaking skills – all things that are incredibly
important. You’ll be exposed to more ideas, and increase the size of your vocabulary. It keeps your
brain in great shape. I seriously can’t say enough about it!

5. Exercise daily. Okay, not really – I’d give yourself one day off per week. But exercising for at
least 45 minutes (as a general rule) per day does wonders for you. You’re not meant to be sitting
behind a desk all day – your body is built for movement, and you should use it. Hit the gym. Go for
runs. Bike. Find some form of exercise that you love and do it as much as you can. And, please,
don’t give me any excuses about your work schedule – if you want to exercise, you can work it into
your schedule. Make it a priority. It makes you feel better, stronger, and more clear-headed. It’s too
awesome to ignore.

6. Keep an open mind (and meditate!). Just because an idea is foreign or appears ‘wrong’ to you at
first glance, don’t dismiss it outright. Sure, you might be right – but you could be wrong too. For
example, I initially dismissed meditation as self-delusion, something that kooky yogis sitting in
their caves invented as a way to delude the New Agey people who were bowing down to their god,
Eckhart Tolle. Not so. As it turns out, I love both Tolle and meditation, after giving them a try at the
recommendation of a few people I respect. Meditating is another awesome habit that I make sure to
do daily.
7. Focus. Focusing is so powerful. For years, I’ve followed something like this – “Focus + Action =
Success”. It’s a pretty great formula. When you focus on what you’re doing fully, instead of
multitasking and dividing your attention, you do things much faster and with much better quality.
Check out Leo Babauta’s latest book, aptly titled Focus for some awesome focusing advice here:
http://focusmanifesto.s3.amazonaws.com/FocusFree.pdf (pdf file!). Please read it!

8. Do what you love. Life’s too short to sell your soul for money. Don’t do it. Instead, do what
makes you feel the most alive and find a way to do it, every single day. If you’re good enough, you
might be able to make it into a job. If you can’t, just make it a priority to do it whenever you’re not
working.

9. You have to give in order to receive. If the world isn’t giving you what you want, take a step
back and reconsider what you’re adding to the world. If you’re not contributing anything, the world
doesn’t owe you anything. Do good, help people out in any way you can, and generate good karma
for yourself. If you keep doing it, after a bit, you’ll earn the reward that you’re looking for – but
take the time to enjoy the efforts you make to do good.

10. Have fun with life. It’s too easy to get caught up with work, philosophizing, and money matters.
Take a step back and realize that you, quite literally, live for the times when you’re having fun, the
times when you’re enjoying yourself. The result of this realization? Start making everything fun.
Express yourself more often, and, if something amuses you, do it! Don’t hold yourself back from
enjoying yourself. To be honest, sometimes, I used to act deliberately unhappy or apathetic because
I was afraid of answering people’s questions about why I was in such a good mood. Don’t be like
that. Be unabashedly happy.

11. Be willing to admit when you make a mistake. If you own up to your mistakes and are honest
about it, you’ll earn a lot more respect from yourself and the people around you. Admitting that
you’ve made a mistake is the first step to getting better, as they say. Along the same lines, don’t be
afraid to ask someone for help with something, no matter who they are. If they’re the type of person
you want to associate yourself with, they’ll be more than glad to lend you a hand. Realizing that
you’re flawed is just a way to realize that you’re human.

12. Fear is an illusion. Fear holds us back so much, but it is always an illusion crafted by our minds.
It makes a very real scenario of failure appear in our heads and replay over and over again, but it’s
fake. It’s all in our heads. It doesn’t exist. While the failure that we fear can and does happen some
of the time, it doesn’t mean we should obsess over it. Rather, we should let go of the fear and let
what will be, be. We can’t let something that’s fake hold us back – press on in spite of fear.

13. Go towards what you fear. This is the single best way to expand your comfort zone and to
realize that fear is an illusion. The funny thing is, if you do what you’re scared of enough times, you
won’t be scared of it anymore. Do one thing you’re scared of per day if you really want to expand
your comfort zone quickly.

14. Don’t be afraid to stand out. As the saying goes, “You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.”
Wise words, for sure. Never compromise yourself with the world – be yourself without apology. If
people start telling you to stop doing what you’re doing because you’re challenging the status quo,
you’re doing something right – keep going. Stop caring about what people think and do what you
think is right. Be sovereign and do not let other people stop you from being you.

15. Some people will hate you no matter what; some people will love you for you. If you’re truly
being yourself – like full-on authenticity and free expression – you’re going to rub some people the
wrong way and you’re going to have haters, wherever you go. It’s a fact of life – you better get used
to it now. They just won’t like you, for whatever reason. Like the proverb says, “To avoid criticism
do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”. At the same time, for every person that hates your guts just
because you are who you are, there will be ten people (not a scientific figure) who absolutely adore
you for who you are. Surround yourself with the people that love you, but listen to some criticism
from time to time to keep you grounded.

16. Savor the challenges that life gives you. They’re an opportunity for you to enjoy yourself and
put your skills – whatever they may be – to use. Don’t shrink from them – welcome them. That
fuzzy feeling of fear that you get before you’re met with the challenge? That’s actually adrenaline.
Get excited about them rather than trying to avoid it. As they say, what you resist, persists.

17. Make an impact. Focus more on making an impact and doing things that matter instead of
useless busywork. You can be busy all day, but not be getting anything of value done. Put your
whole heart behind what you’re doing instead of holding yourself back, and remember that your
mission, no matter what your job is, is to change lives for the better. That’s what you get paid for,
ladies and gents. Remember that, and act accordingly.

18. Things go in cycles – bad and good. We live cyclical lives. We get rolling on good streaks, then
we hit a rough patch, then we break free and turn things around, only to hit bottom again… It goes
on and on. The trick is to try and make the good parts last as long as possible while minimizing the
bad parts. However – don’t resist the bad. Just try to regroup and bounce back by doing what made
you feel and perform so well in the first place.

19. Be forgiving. People make mistakes all the time, and if you show them a bit of forgiveness,
people will smile upon you when you make your mistakes. You wouldn’t yell at fire for burning
you, woul hd you? Even though mistakes can be avoided, they can’t when they’ve already been
committed. Let go of the need to chastise people.

20. Embrace change. Change is a fact of life – you can resist it all you want, but you won’t be doing
yourself any good. However, if you adapt, you’ll be much better off than the people who try to go
against the flow of nature. You can’t change the change – you can only decide to go with the flow
or not. Don’t resist. Let go, and let the change be what it is. It may hurt you for a bit, but you’ll get
used to it in time.

21. You can feel happy all the time – if you choose. Ultimately, your emotional state at any given
time is a conscious choice. You can either choose to focus on all the things that get you upset and
flush your mood down the emotional toilet, or you can focus on the positives in life and feel happy
nearly all the time, for no apparent reason. You can be happy by just being you – but you have to
realize that first. Do what makes you happy, say what makes you happy, and think what makes you
happy as much as possible, and you’ll soon find that you actually feel happy. It’s all your choice.

Any life lessons I missed (and I know I missed a bunch, but these are my favorites)? Let me know
in the comments.

Note: this is a part of Abubakar Jamil’s series on life lessons. Click the link to see more posts by
other great bloggers!
100 Essential Life Lessons

by Marelisa · 48 comments
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Life LessonsHere are 100 essential life lessons:

1. Make being happy a priority.

2. Travel; see as much of the world as you can

3. Learn to play a musical instrument.

4. Live beneath your means.

5. Forgive yourself. Forgive others; for your sake, not theirs.

6. Learn to swim.

7. Don’t postpone joy.

8. Take responsibility for your life.

9. Remember Henry Ford’s admonishment: “Whether you think you can or whether you think you
can’t, you’re right.”

10. Set S-M-A-R-T goals.

11. Set small goals in the short run and big goals in the long run.

12. Pay yourself first: save 10% of what you earn.

13. Remember there are always two sides to every story.

14. Give 10% of your earnings to the less fortunate.

15. Don’t go into bad debt.

16. Create your own definition of success.

17. Don’t smoke. Don’t abuse alcohol. Don’t do drugs.

18. Remember the four R’s: reduce, reuse, recycle, recover.

19. Follow the golden rule: treat others like you want them to treat you.

20. Get regular exercise.

21. Follow a healthy diet. Eat lots of antioxidants, omega 3 fatty acids, and whole grains.

22. Learn CPR.

23. Learn a foreign language.


24. Become an expert at something.

25. Write a book.

26. Be kind to children and animals.

27. Know basic history and geography.

28. Cultivate your emotional intelligence.

29. Keep a first aid kit in your house and in your car.

30. Have regular medical and dental checkups.

31. Learn to take compliments.

32. Learn to take criticism.

33. Be authentic.

34. Don’t take action when you’re angry.

35. Choose your spouse carefully; much of your happiness will depend on this one decision.

36. Worry is a waste of time.

37. Never drive when you’ve been drinking.

38. Never give up.

39. Drink lots of water.

40. Learn something new every day.

41. Continuously count your blessings.

42. Don’t gossip.

43. Become an expert in time management.

44. Follow your instincts; rely on your intuition.

45. Acknowledge those who have helped you.

46. Find a mentor.

47. Read voraciously.

48. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are of your own.

49. Don’t procrastinate.

50. Make a bucket list; refer to it often.


51. Smile a lot; laugh a lot.

52. Admit your mistakes.

53. Keep informed, whether it’s by reading the daily paper, watching the news, or reading a
periodical such as “Time” or “Newsweek”.

54. Meditate. Take up yoga. Set aside quiet time every day.

55. Get organized.

56. Don’t buy things you don’t need just because they’re on sale.

57. Cherish your friends and family.

58. Look for opportunities to praise others.

59. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

60. During difficult times remember this: “And this too shall pass.”

61. When things go wrong remember that few things are as bad as they first seem.

62. Keep in mind that mistakes are stepping stones to success. Don’t be afraid to fail.

63. Have a plan.

64. Choose your friends wisely: 80% of your life experiences—both the good and the bad–will
come as a direct result of the people you hang out with.

65. Be remarkable.

66. Persevere.

67. Know when to cut your losses.

68. Have a magnum opus.

69. Keep in mind that life is not a dress rehearsal.

70. If you don’t know the answer, say so; then go and find the answer.

71. Remember that one of life’s only constants is change.

72. Ask for what you want.

73. Create value for others.

74. Apply the power of leverage: leverage your money and your time.

75. Develop multiple streams of income.

76. Be your own boss: start your own business.


77. Don’t renege on your promises, whether to others or to yourself.

78. Examine your beliefs on a regular basis and ask yourself if what you believe is serving you
well.

79. Feel the fear and then do it anyway.

80. Don’t worry about what other people think.

81. Listen to the advice of others but then make your own decisions.

82. Change the things you can and accept the things you can’t.

83. Cultivate your creativity.

84. Develop your listening skills.

85. Decide what you want.

86. Focus on what you want instead of thinking about what you don’t want.

87. Begin; every journey begins by taking the first step.

88. Have fun.

89. Every time you fall simply get up again.

90. Strive for excellence, not for perfection.

91. Learn to live in the present moment.

92. Be proactive.

93. Choose your battles wisely.

94. Don’t argue for your limitations.

95. Learn to see the extraordinary in the ordinary.

96. Listen to Eleanor Roosevelt’s advice: “No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent.”

97. Find work you love.

98. Remember the motto: “You catch more flies with honey.”

99. Take a course on personal finances in college.

100. Fill your life with love.


3 Essential Life Lessons I Wish I Had Known Earlier

by MarsDorian · 40 comments
Mars Dorian Life Lessons

Today I will follow a kick-ass invitation from fellow bloggers Farnoosh from Prolificliving.com
and Abubakar Jamil, on a topic very important to me: life lessons. I’ll save you an epic introduction
and just dive straight into my 3 greatest revelations over the past two decades.

Ready, fire, go !
Life Lesson # 1 – Hell is only in your head

Background:

During my teens I was short, and I mean super-short. Imagine being a sixteen year old who is
shorter than your midget mother at 160 (5’3”). I also had the face of an 11 year old and the voice of
Mickey Mouse inhaling Helium.

Needless to say, school was no fun matter. The kids in my class punished me with snappy remarks
and laughed at my height and body. It got so worse that I even thought about quitting school. The
mental torture went on for years and it blew my confidence to bits and pieces.

Only when I left school did I slowly regain my confidence. Now, when I look back, I just want to
punch me in the face for my early pathetic behavior.

Why ? Because of this:

Who was to blame ?

The kids who didn’t possess the slightest bit of compassion, or me, the poor chap who always got
into the crossfire of the jokes ?

I was to blame. A full 100 %. Ahh, what the hell, a 10000000000000000 % !

Instead of making my (inner) life super-miserable, I could have chosen to remain unaffected.

Some mean kids laughing at me – so what ? Ignore the idiots, focus on the good stuff and move on.
But no, I chose to suffer big time, for at least 5 torturing years. Meh !

This is what I found out later on – hell is only your mind.

And that’s not a cheap ass line I got from a second class Zen book – it’s true. If someone insults
you, and you explode, whose fault is it ?

Of course it’s YOURS ! It was your choice, and your choice only to explode during that moment.

Do you think you can still have a kick-ass time when the world around you hates your guts ? Of
course you can. It’s just a choice.

Make it a commitment to become emotionally independent of your surroundings. Just watch the
drama unfolding – people scream at you, they laugh at you, and they deride you. Those “hits” are
all mental and don’t affect your physical health.

Whenever I’m in the crossfire of words, I silently say to myself “it’s just energy”.
I encourage you to do the same !

How to spread your digital influence


Life Lesson # 2 – It’s better to regret what you have done than what you haven’t

I could have gone to Japan for my High School exchange year


I could have had this cute girl as a girlfriend
I could have started my own business way earlier

I could have I could have I could have…

But I didn’t. Bang !

I could have done a lot of cool things, but I didn’t, because I wasn’t willing to step out of my
comfort zone. I regret ALL of these things. Every single day.

But hey, enough with the fail-whaling, let’s look at the positive side:

I went to Mexico city with no money and had an adventurous time


I openly expressed my true feelings in front of the girl of my dreams and got heavily laughed at
For weeks, I organized a huge party in a kick-ass place and only 5 people showed up.

I blew a lot of these choices, but it doesn’t matter – I DID them.

When I look back there are many things I regret. Strangely, I never regret my screw-ups, because I
had the guts to do them anyways.

It’s tempting to stay timid and play it safe – a mushy lifestyle beyond excitement. I challenge you to
take uncertain choices every week – you might fail, but the experience you gain will be
invaluable…and exciting.

Just go for it.

kick-ass pic
Life Lesson # 3 – Do it, then fix it as you go

Back in a life that I don’t want to remember, I used to be an obsessive planner. Sketching out every
detail of my work and creating endless sheets of lists. I needed to be super-prepared, testing every
single possibility before doing the thing.

I planned to start my own High School newspaper but never started. I planned to stay a long time in
Japan but didn’t do it. I wanted to do an amazing art project which I could even get featured in an
exhibition, but I didn’t do it.

The sad thing – I worked for weeks, sometimes even months or years on projects, but when it was
time to actually start the damn thing, I held back.

Mars Dorian / slap / double-slap / triple-slap in the face !

When I remember those times I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry.

I have drastically changed the mindset, and this is what I now believe:
Don’t worry about planning your projects excessively – you can never predict an outcome.

You don’t even know what will happen later this day. How the hell can you possible plan what’s
going to happen in the weeks or months to come ?

Unless you are Jesus you can’t. You simply CAN’T !

To hell with the obsessive planning and procrastination.

Create a basic outline and then take massive action.

Ask yourself this simply question:

If I do this project now, will it (financially) ruin me ?

In 99% percent of the cases, the answer is a big, fat no.

But how can you when to finally start ?

Easy. Whenever you feel scared and uncomfortable, you DO it. If you only start when you feel
comfortable, you know you have wasted a lot of time. Time you could have used for taking creative
action. You know that you only grow when you push your comfort zone, and taking action is a
constant push.

Whenever the little voice inside of you says:

you can’t do it
you need more (>insert useless excuse here<)
wait another day – tomorrow you feel much better and focused

you say “to hell with it” and jump straight into the action – running with what you got, fixing it as
you go.

conclusion:
What about you ? Which life lesson do you wish you had learned earlier ?
The one that makes you say: “Shit, I wish I had known this when I was younger !” ?

I’m curious !
10 Must Read Life Lessons from Buddha

By Mr. Self Development

Siddhartha Gautama was a great spiritual leader from ancient India who founded Buddhism. In
most Buddhist traditions, he is considered the Supreme Buddha. “Buddha” is interpreted to mean
“awakened one” or “the enlightened one.”

Siddhartha is the primary figure in Buddhism, and the accounts of his life, teachings, and monastic
rules were recapitulated after his death and memorized by his followers.

Today I want to discuss some very important life lessons which I’ve derived from the teachings of
Buddha.

10 Must Read Life Lessons from Buddha:


1. Its Okay to Start Small

“A jug fills drop by drop.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Every artist was once an amateur.”

We all start small, do not despise small beginnings. If you’re consistent, and if you’re patient, you
will succeed! No one succeeds over night; success belongs to those who are willing to start small
and patiently work until their jug is filled.
2. Thoughts Become Things

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought,
pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow
that never leaves him.”

Buddha said, “The mind is everything. What you think you become.” James Allen said, “Man is
mind.”

In order to live rightly, you must fill your mind with “right” thoughts.

Your thinking determines your actions; your actions determine your outcome. Right thinking will
grant you everything you desire; wrong thinking is a vice that will eventually destroy you.

If you change your thinking you will change your life. Buddha said, “All wrong-doing arises
because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?”
3. Forgive

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you
are the one who gets burned.”

When you release those who you are holding captive in the prison of un-forgiveness, it is you who
is released from prison. You can’t keep someone down, without staying down with them. Learn to
forgive, learn to forgive quickly.
4. It’s Your Actions That Count

“However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you
do not act on upon them?”
They say “Talk is cheap,” because it is. To progress you must act; to progress quickly, you must act
daily. Greatness will not fall upon you!

Greatness is for everyone, but only those who are willing to act consistently will experience it.
There’s a proverb that goes, “God gives every bird a worm, but he doesn’t throw it into their nest.”
To be great you must act great. Buddha said, “I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however
they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.”
5. Seek to Understand

“In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have
begun striving for ourselves.”

Stephen Covey said, “Seek to understand first, then to be understood.” Easily said, very difficult to
do; you must labor to understand the “other” person’s perspective. When you feel anger rising, let it
cease. Listen to others, understand their perspective, and you will have more peace. Be more
concerned with being happy, than being right
6. Conquer Yourself

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot
be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.”

He who can conquer himself is greater than the mighty. To conquer yourself you must conquer your
mind. You must control your thinking. Your thoughts cannot be tossed to and fro like the waves of
the sea. You may be thinking, “I can’t control my thoughts, if a thought comes, it comes.” To that I
say, you may not be able to stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can certainly stop him
from building a nest in your hair. Dismiss thoughts that are contrary to the life you desire to live.
Buddha said, “It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe that lures him to evil ways.”
7. Live in Peace

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”

Don’t look without for something that can only be found within. Many times we may look without
only to distract ourselves from the reality we know is true. That reality is that peace can only be
found within. Peace is not a new job, peace is not a new car, or a new spouse….peace is a new
perspective, and that new perspective begins with you.
8. Be Thankful

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if
we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us
all be thankful.”

There’s always something to be thankful for. Don’t be so pessimistic that for a moment, even a split
moment, you fail to realize the thousands of things you have to be thankful for. Everyone didn’t
wake up this morning; some people went to sleep last night for the last time. There’s always
something to be grateful for, recognize it, and give thanks. A grateful heart will make you great!
9. Be True to What You Know

“The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.”

We know a lot, but we don’t always do what we know. If you fail, it won’t be because you didn’t
know; it will be because you didn’t do what you knew to do. Work to do what you know to do.
Don’t just consume information, but ponder on thoughts that are conducive to what you desire to
become until you have a burning desire to manifest it.
10. Travel Well
“It is better to travel well than to arrive.”

Life is about the journey! I’m not trying to arrive, I’m already there. I am happy, and content, and
satisfied where I am today. I may experience nicer places, and finer wines, but I am traveling well.
Don’t put off your happiness into some nebulous time in the future based on some goal that you
think will bring you happiness. Travel well today, enjoy the journey.
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Essential Things about Life My Children Have Taught Me

essential-things-about-life-my-children-have-taught-me

It is a wise father that knows his own child. – William Shakespeare

Having children is an amazing and life-changing experience! When Brandon was born, our first
child, the excitement Mary Beth and I felt about having the opportunity to give life and nurture
another human being was both incredible and humbling.

Along with feelings of happiness and pride, we also understand the tremendous responsibility it
takes to raise a child. My wife and I are still learning that no matter the ages of our children, or
what’s going on in their life, they will always be dependent on us. That’s just how nature works –
and that’s just fine with us.

After Brandon, along came Caitlin, Andrew and then Emily. We often comment about how
remarkable it is that our four children, who share the same mother and father; and who slept within
20 feet of one another; and who received the same parenting (more or less), are each so
appropriately unique from the other.

In a few weeks, many of us will celebrate Father’s Day. This day is intended to give children the
formal opportunity to thank and honor their fathers. It’s also a day to acknowledge the contributions
their dads have made in their lives.

Some fathers pass along their own life experiences and other lessons learned in an attempt to spare
their sons and daughters from making the same mistakes they once did. Some fathers also pass
along their spiritual beliefs and they strive to always model how to be a person of character and
integrity. In my way; in my best attempt, I have tried to do all of these things, too.

More than anything else my desire when I was that 23-year-old young man holding my new-born
son for the first time was to break the cycle of addiction and dysfunction that existed in my family. I
wanted to be a father who would put his children’s needs before his own and I wanted to be a father
who would teach his children how to live their life to their fullest potential.

However, something totally surprising happened along the way – I have learned as much from my
children as I hope they have learned from me. I think this is part of nature’s plan, too. Sometimes
the best lessons are taught by the ones who don’t think they know all of the answers, but do know
how to live life simply and fully.
Essential Things about Life My Children Have Taught Me
Over the past 23 years here are the essential things about life my children have taught me. These
lessons are all gifts from their heats to mine:

Always make time for the people you love.


When my last day on this earth arrives, and if I’m aware of it’s presence, I don’t think I will say I
wish I had worked more, or put more time into my career. Instead, my hope is I will look back and
celebrate the time I had with the people I loved the most.

When they were much younger, my kids would always stop playing at the end of the day in time
to get a bath and have a few minutes to sit in my lap while I read to them. This time was important
and they made certain it happened as often as possible. It’s a great lesson to remember. The people
we love the most may not be with us tomorrow, but we can make time for them today.

My children have taught me this.


Asking for help is a sign of strength; not weakness.
Somewhere along the way many of us were encouraged, perhaps even told, not to ask for help.
We believed asking was a sign of weakness. The opposite couldn’t be truer. While raising my
children, it became clear they depended on me and Mary Beth for everything. If their diaper was
wet – they asked for help; if they were being bullied in school – they asked for help; if they wanted
some extra allowance money to buy a new video game – they asked for help. They learned if the
request was honest and valid – they would receive our help with getting what they wanted.

We, too, are empowered to do the same thing. If there is something you want to try, but don’t
know how to do it – ask for help. If you are struggling to overcome a lifelong burden, but don’t
know where to start – ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of confidence. It shows you are worthy
of receiving what you are requesting. When your request is honest and valid – you will be surprised
with the results.

My children have taught me this.


If you ignore someone, you will be ignored, too
I’m still learning how to be a good father. No doubt it is a lesson I will continue to learn as long
as I live. When my oldest daughter, Caitlin, was about ten-years-old I would ignore her outbursts of
anger. At that time in my life, all I wanted was peace and quiet in the house so I could work or
relax. The price for this peace, however, was a steep one.

My daughter may have been outwardly showing signs of contempt for me, but inside, I think, she
was crying for me to confront her and set healthy and reasonable boundaries. After feeling
frustrated by my lack of reaction, she shifted from displaying active emotions to demonstrating very
passive emotions – she started to ignore me and have nothing to do with me.

We can’t pick and choose the times it’s convenient for us to be fully present for those closest to
us. We are required to be fully present when we are needed the most; no matter how inconvenient.

Caitlin taught me this.


The power of unconditional love is limitless.
The love our children have for us does not have to be earned. They freely give their love – no
matter what. Most of the time unconditional love is returned by the parents. It is unfortunate when it
is not.

I do love my children unconditionally. They don’t have to do anything or become anything to


earn my love. They just have it and always will.
Before they were born, however, the idea of unconditional love was not even imaginable for me.
By giving and receiving their unconditional love it has occurred to me I’m truly worthy of
unconditional self love, too. I’m learning how to love myself and to forgive myself for the shame
and guilt I often feel.

My children have taught me this.


A hug may not fix everything but it has a way of making things feel better.
Even today, I hug Brandon every time I see him. This habit has been sustained over the years. All
of my kids, especially Brandon, have always been affectionate and ready to receive a hug at any
time. A hug is a way to share and connect. A hug suggests, “although I can’t fix all of your
problems, or have the power to undo one of your mistakes, I will always love you and you will
always be worthy of my love and you will never be alone – no matter what.”

Brandon taught me this.


Forgive.
There will always be people who will take from us and attempt to harm us, but the power of
forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves in these situations. Forgiveness allows us to move forward. I
have witnessed my children forgive their friends many times for the hurt, both intentional and
unintentional, they have caused. When they do forgive, my children free themselves and no longer
stay stuck in the past. They are ready to play again or talk again. They are ready for the healing to
begin.

My children have taught me this.


Be curious and always keep learning.
My children often remind me of the need to keep filling my mind with new things, thoughts and
ideas. My youngest daughter, Emily, like most ten-year-olds goes through phrases, or fads. A
couple of months ago she was in a Titanic phase when she wanted to learn everything she could
about the fateful ship. Soon afterward that, she entered her Indiana Jones phase when she wanted to
learn more about the time and circumstances that provides the setting for the first couple of movies
in the series. Her excitement to learn new things is a reminder, and a motivator, for me to do
likewise.

Emily taught me this.


Give life everything you have.
Mary Beth ran into Andrew’s high school baseball coach the other morning at the bagel place.
His coach made it a point to approach her and compliment Andrew on both his level of play and
leadership. He told her that he admires our son’s commitment and passion for the game.

No matter how far Andrew may go with baseball, he has learned a very important life lesson: If
you put a lot of time and effort into something you love, you will always find success because you
will know, deep down in your soul, you gave it everything you had.

Andrew taught me this.


8 Essential Skills They Didn’t Teach You In School
August 15 by BrianArmstrong | 134 comments | Lifestyle | Tags: audiobook, business, education,
happiness, life, marketing, negotiation, networking, school, speed-reading, success, time-
management
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What They Didn't Teach You in School

Lately, I’ve been simultaneously using less and less of what I learned in school while discovering
more and more skills that are vital to success which were never even offered in school!

If I were to be 100% honest, probably the most valuable skill I learned in college was how to talk to
girls (certainly a vital skill for happiness and success, but not what I was there to learn).

The economics classes? Nope, mostly academic mumbo-jumbo that is entirely useless to all but a
handful of policy makers. The computer science classes? Hmm, maybe about 10% of that I’ve used,
but it’s nothing I couldn’t have picked up with a couple good books, which I routinely do now. The
history, English, philosophy, and physics? Aside from giving me a general understanding of the
world and making me sound smart at cocktail parties, I can’t think of anything in there that I really
use on a day to day basis.

Much of college gave me a bad taste for education. It made learning a real drag. I got through it to
get the degree, but it wasn’t until after school that my education really began.

So what are the top skills that should be taught to every man, woman, and child who enters our
education system? I’m glad you asked…
How to make people like you and network

For a skill so essential to success that affects every area of your life (from dating, to family, to
work) it’s amazing how little people know about this. I can hear you saying…”I thought some
people were just born with it and the rest of us were out of luck! You mean it’s something you can
study?” Well, yes!

There is great power in knowing you can reach out to your network whenever you have a problem
to solve, to be able to reach key influencers at conferences and meetings, to make an impression on
audiences, to project confidence and trustworthiness, and to make friends with other successful
people.

The shy folks lurking in the corners at cocktails parties will never reach their full potential as
human beings because our school system didn’t place enough value on “being social”. President
Bush didn’t get the best grades at Princeton, but boy did he know how to network, and look where
that got him.

Required reading: How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little
Tricks for Big Success in Relationships.
How to speed read and the power of audio books

Yes, speed reading and speed comprehension is real. The nominal investment of time it takes to
learn pays off in spades for the rest of your life. After all, how would your life be different if you
were able to read an extra book each week?
The same goes with audio books. If you spend an hour per day in the car learning instead of cursing
at other drivers or listening to Britney Spears, you will have attended the equivalent of an entire
semester course. Every major book today comes out on audio book, and you can read (listen to)
them all without taking any additional time out of your day. Why wouldn’t you?

Looking at all the “required reading” links in this article might seem a little overwhelming, but I
was able to listen to them all on audio books while driving around town. It was actually fun.

Required reading: The Psychology of Achievement by Brian Tracey


How to set goals and manage time

Want to know how to get anything done in life? Our school system doesn’t feel that this is worth
teaching apparently, but call me crazy, I think it’s important (I’m probably preaching to the choir on
LifeHack.org, but still).

The research that has come out lately is groundbreaking…everything from eliminating multi-
tasking, using blocks of uninterrupted time where phone and email are off, prioritized to-do lists,
urgent but unimportant vs. non-urgent but important tasks, etc.

If you have ever found yourself being busy all day only to wonder what you accomplished at the
end of it, then you need to learn this stuff. Understanding productivity will give you such an
advantage over other people it’s hardly even fair.

Required reading: Getting Things Done, Eat That Frog, No B.S. Time Management For
Entrepreneurs
How to read a financial statement

Robert Kiyosaki is fond of saying that the rich teach their children how to read financial statements
and the poor do not. He is right. Schools have never been very good at teaching people how to get
rich, probably in no small part because professors are generally poor and wouldn’t know how to
teach it.

Yet with 95% of our population retiring at or below the poverty level, the economy in the dumps,
and many people losing their homes to foreclosure, I bet plenty of Americans wish their school
system had been a little more focused on money. After leaving college my friends could tell you the
symbolic meaning behind the Brother’s Grimm Fairy Tales, but they couldn’t tell you the difference
between a balance sheet and income statement. Nice job school system!

Required reading: Cash Flow Quadrant, or this blog article


How to negotiate, use contracts, and not get taken advantage of

If you want to accomplish anything of significance you’re going to have to work with other people.
Whether its contractors, outsourcing, employees, etc…there is a certain art to structuring good
contracts with these people, knowing how to find good talent, measuring results, knowing how to
fire them, and not getting completely taken for a ride in the process. School teaches you none of this
and most people have to learn it from the school of hard knocks by literally get taken advantage of
several times.

Required reading: I haven’t seen many in this area but one that comes to mind is Donald Trumps
The Art Of The Deal
How to save and invest

Again, people are never taught how to build wealth, which is why we have a nation in credit card
debt. Moreover, they are never taught the power of passive income streams and how to really break
free from the rat race of working 9-to-5. There is a whole body of literature on this topic which is
never even touched upon in traditional education.

Required reading: The Richest Man In Babylon, The Millionaire Next Door, or Ben Franklin’s The
Way To Wealth
How to be successful in life

Sounds sort of broad, doesn’t it? Yet some people have devoted a lifetime to understanding what
makes people happy and successful. There are the big three: health, wealth, and relationships.
People need to find what they really want to do with their life (something few of us ever really think
about). We need to figure out how to do scary things that would be good for us, break bad habits,
how to let go of bad things in the past, etc. There is a lot to learn here!

Required reading: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, When I Say No I Feel Guilty, Think
and Grow Rich, The Way Of The Superior Man (Ladies maybe you can recommend a relationship
book for women in the comments)
How to spread an idea and basic marketing

Finally, I’ll just say that the basics of marketing are something everyone should understand. Even if
you don’t think you’re in marketing, you’re in marketing. If you have an idea at work, or want to
get a raise, or want to convince your kids to go see a movie then there is something applicable from
the marketing world. Even just picking out a good headline for something you’re writing so that it
will actually get read requires some basic marketing skills.

Required reading: Dan Kennedy’s The Ultimate Sales Letter, CopyBlogger, The Psychology of
Influence
Conclusion

Until the school system comes around, I suppose its up to each of us to take care of our own
education. That means reading, finding mentors, audio books, going to conferences, and of course
blogs are a great resource.

What did you miss out on in school that you wish you’d learned? Or if you’re an educator do you
feel there is a mismatch between what is taught and what’s important? Leave a comment below!
38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

Fear will try to stop you. Doubts will try to stop you. You’ll shy away from doing great things, from
going on new adventures, from creating something new and putting it out in the world, because of
self-doubt and fear. It will happen in the recesses of your mind, where you don’t even know it’s
happening. Become aware of these doubts and fears. Shine some light on them. Beat them with a
thousand tiny cuts. Do it anyway, because they are wrong.

Older Entries
38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know almost nothing, and that I’m often
wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking forward
to them all.

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38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

Fear will try to stop you. Doubts will try to stop you. You’ll shy away from doing great things, from
going on new adventures, from creating something new and putting it out in the world, because of
self-doubt and fear. It will happen in the recesses of your mind, where you don’t even know it’s [...]

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38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011
Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it passes
much faster than you think. Your kids grow up so fast you get whiplash. You get gray hairs before
you’re done getting your bearings on life. Appreciate every damn moment.

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38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

Love comes in many flavors. I love my children, completely and more than I can ever fully
understand. I love them each in a different way, and know that each is perfect in his or her own
way.

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38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

No one knows what they’re doing as parents. We’re all faking it, and hoping we’re getting it right.
Some people obsess about the details, and miss out on the fun. I just try not to mess them up too
much, to show them they’re loved, to enjoy the moments I can with them, to show [...]

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38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011
Do less. Most people try to do too much. They fill life with checklists, and try to crank out tasks as
if they were widget machines. Throw out the checklists and just figure out what’s important. Stop
being a machine and focus on what you love. Do it lovingly.

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Tags: inspiration, Leo Babauta

38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

Learn the art of empathy. Too often we judge people on too little information. We must try to
understand what they do instead, put ourselves in their shoes, start with the assumption that what
others do has a good reason if we understand what they’re going through. Life becomes much better
if you learn this [...]

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Tags: inspiration, Leo Babauta

38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

All we are taught in schools, and all we see in the media (news, films, books, magazines, Internet)
has a worldview that we’re meant to conform to. Figure out what that worldview is, and question it.
Ask if there are alternatives, and investigate. Hint: the corporations exert influence over all of our
information sources. Another [...]

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Tags: inspiration, Leo Babauta

38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

Use the magic of compound interest. Invest early, and it will grow as if by alchemy. Live on little,
don’t get into debt, save all you can, and invest it in mutual funds. Watch your money grow.

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Tags: inspiration, Leo Babauta

38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years

In: inspiration
5 Sep 2011

Don’t sit too much. It kills you. Move, dance, run, play.
30 Life Lessons From 30 Years
Written by Joshua Fields Millburn | Follow on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+
Turning 30

Last month I turned 30. And during the journey to 30, I’ve learned so much. Below are 30 of the
most important life lessons from those 30 years. Each lesson is a brief summary of that lesson, some
of which have a link for further reading if you’re interested. Take your time and explore those links
—they are all meaningful to me.
30 Lessons I’ve Learned In 30 Years

1. We must love. You know the saying, “tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at
all,” right? I know, such statements sound so banal and vapid on the surface that we often dismiss
them with a waive of the hand. But it’s the cold truth, a truth so profound that perhaps we can only
discuss it with little clichéd statements. But we must love, even if it breaks our hearts. Because
unless we love, our lives will flash by.

2. Love isn’t enough. Although we must love, love is not enough to survive. We must take action to
show others that we care, to show them that we love them.

3. Happiness is not for sale in any store. We can’t buy happiness. Hell, it sounds cliché to even say
that, and yet we search the aisles and shelves and pages on eBay in search of something more,
something to fill the void. But we can’t fill the void with stuff. It doesn’t work that way, no matter
how hard we try or how much stuff we buy, because that stuff won’t make us happy. At best it will
pacify us momentarily. At worst it will ruin our lives, leaving us empty and depressed and even
more alone, alone among a sea of material items—sometimes a crowded room can feel the most
alone. The truth is that we are all going to die, and heaping our tombs with treasure will not save us
from this fate. Ryan and I wrote about happiness for Dave Bruno’s 100 Thing Challenge: The
Minimalists On Happiness.

4. Success is perspectival. I used to think I was successful because I had a six-figure job that my
friends and family could be proud of. I thought the house with too many bedrooms would make me
look even more successful, and so would the luxury car and the tailored suits and the nice watch
and the big screen TV and all of the trappings of the material world. But I got all of that and I sure
as hell didn’t feel successful. Instead, I felt depressed. So what did I do? I bought more stuff. And
when that didn’t work I figured out that I had to do something else with my life, that I had to stop
living a lie and start living my dreams.

5. You must make change a must. I knew that I wanted to change my life for the longest time. I
knew I was unhappy, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled. I knew I didn’t have freedom. Not real freedom.
The problem was that I knew these things intellectually but not emotionally. I didn’t have the
feeling in my gut that things must change. I knew they should change, but the change wasn’t a must
for me, and thus it didn’t happen. Anthony Robbins has a good aphorism to describe all these
shoulds in your life: he says “after a while you end up shoulding all over yourself.” But once you
understand these things on an emotional level you are able to turn your shoulds into musts. I believe
that that is the pivotal point, that is when you get leverage, that is when you are compelled to take
action. Thus, a decision is not a real decision until it is a must for you, until you feel it on your
nerve-endings, until you are compelled to take action. Once your shoulds have turned into musts,
then you have made a real decision.

6. Growth & contribution is the meaning of life. Giving is living, I said that before. I believe the
best way to live a meaningful life is simple: continuously grow as an individual and contribute to
other people in a meaningful way. Growth and contribution. That’s all. That’s the meaning of my
life.
7. Health is more important than most of us treat it. Without health, nothing else matters. It took me
over a year and a half to lose 70 pounds—70 pounds of disgusting fat—but that was seven years
ago and I’ve kept the weight off and I’m not turning back. I’m 30 years old now, but I’m in the best
shape of my life, by far. And it’s only going to get better from here. I wrote about my exercise and
diet in this essay: Minimalism Is Healthy: How I Lost 70 Pounds

8. Sentimental items are not as important as we think. My mother died in 2009. It was an incredibly
difficult time in my life, but it also helped me realize a lot about the unnecessary meaning we give
to stuff. I realized that I could hold on to her memories without her stuff, that I don’t need Mom’s
stuff to remind me of her. There are traces of her everywhere: In the way I act, in the way I treat
others, even in my smile. She’s still there, and she was never part of her stuff. I wrote an essay
about that experience: Letting Go of Sentimental Items.

9. Your job is not your mission. At least it wasn’t for me, though I thought it was for the longest
time, I gave it so much meaning and worked so much that the rest of my life suffered. I wrote an
essay about leaving my corporate job to pursue my passions and live my mission: Screw You, I
Quit! You can also check out Day 19 of our journey for further explanation.

10. Finding your passion is important. My passion is writing. Maybe you already know what your
passion is, maybe you don’t have a clue. Do yourself a favor and figure it out, it will change
everything for you. Read the above mentioned “Screw You, I Quit!” essay for more discussion
about finding your passions.

11. Relationships matter. Not every relationship matters all that much, but there are a few that
really, really matter. There are a few relationships we should focus on (for most of us there are a
handful of relationships that truly matter, probably no more than 20). I’ve found that minimalism
has helped me focus on these relationships. And I recently learned how to establish deeper
connections with people.

12. You don’t need everyone to like you. We all want to be loved, it’s a mammalian instinct, but
you can’t value every relationship the same, and thus you can’t expect everyone to love you the
same. Life doesn’t work that way. Julien Smith articulates this sentiment very well in his essay The
Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck: “when people don’t like you, nothing actually happens. The
world does not end. You don’t feel them breathing down your neck. In fact, the more you ignore
them and just go about your business, the better off you are.”

13. Status is a misnomer. Similar to “success,” our culture seems to place a lot of emphasis on
material wealth as a sign of true wealth, and yet I know too many people of “status,” too many
“rich” people—hell, I’ve been to some of their dinner parties—who are miserable, who are not
wealthy at all. They are only ostensibly “rich,” but they are bankrupt inside, emotionally drained
and broke almost everywhere except in their wallets. But perhaps Chuck Palahniuk said it best:
“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you
drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your khakis.”

14. Jealousy and envy are wasted emotions. This one might be easier for me than it is for you. I’ve
never been the jealous type. In fact, it has hurt some relationships for me in the past, because I
didn’t articulate this fact—that I’m not the jealous type—to the other person. It’s strange but some
people expect us to be jealous to show that we care. Instead, I choose to show that I care about
someone by showing that I trust them and telling them that I trust them. Just be up front with
people, tell them you don’t get jealous because you love them and you trust them. It makes
everything easier.

15. Everybody worships something. My favorite fiction writer, David Foster Wallace, said it best:
“In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such
thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.” Many
of us chose to worship our stuff. That’s what led me to minimalism. Ryan and I wrote an essay
about it at the beginning of the year: Everybody Worships Something.

16. I am not the center of the universe. It’s incredibly difficult to think about the world from a
perspective other than our own. We are always worried about what’s going on in our lives. What
does my schedule look like today? What if I lose my job during the next round of layoffs? Why
can’t I stop smoking? Why am I overweight? Why am I not happy with my life? Suffice it to say
that we are acutely aware of everything connected to our own lives. That’s why Ryan and I wrote
an essay about consciously removing yourself the center of the universe; it’s about paying attention
to what’s going on in front of you and around you and inside you: I Am Not The Center Of The
Universe

17. Awareness is the most precious kind of freedom. This is yet another reason why minimalism is
so appealing to so many people. It removes many of the obstructions and allows us to focus on
what’s important. Minimalism is a tool to rid ourselves of superfluous excess in favor of a
meaningful life, it is a tool to take a seemingly intricate and convoluted world, cluttered with its
endless embellishments, and make it simpler, easier, realer. It is unimaginably hard to remain
conscious and attentive and aware. It is difficult not to fall back into a trance-like state, surrounded
by the trappings and obstructions of the tiring world around us. But it is important to do so, for this
is real freedom. Ryan and I wrote an essay about awareness and conscious freedom for Nina Yau’s
site earlier this year: Awareness: The Most Precious Kind of Freedom

18. Be On The Mountain. This is the term I use for “living in the moment.” I wrote an essay about it
a few years ago: Be On The Mountain.

19. We are often scared for no reason. Just ask yourself “what am I afraid of?” We are usually
scared of things that don’t have a real impact on our lives (or that we can’t control, so we’re
worrying for no reason).

20. It’s OK to change; change is growth. We all want a different outcome, and yet most of us don’t
want any change in our lives. Change equals uncertainty, and uncertainty equals discomfort, and
discomfort isn’t much fun. But when we learn to enjoy the process of change—when we chose to
look at the uncertain as variety instead of uncertainty—then we get to reap all of the rewards of
change. And that’s how we grow as people.

21. Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make us perfect. I am not perfect, and I never will be. I make
mistakes and bad decisions, and I fail at times. I stumble, fall. I am human—a mixed bag, nuanced,
the darkness and the light—as are you. And you are beautiful.

22. The past does not equal the future. My words are my words and I can’t take them back. You
can’t change the past, so it’s important to focus on the present. If the past equaled the future, then
your windshield would be of no use to you; you would simply drive your car with your eyes glued
to the rearview mirror. But driving this way—only looking behind you—is a surefire way to crash.
Ryan and I wrote an essay about letting go of the past: Your Past Does Not Equal Your Future.

23. Pain can be useful; but suffering—there is absolutely nothing useful about suffering. Pain lets us
know that something is wrong. It is an indicator that we need to change what we’re doing. But
suffering is a choice—one that we all choose from time to time—and we can choose to stop
suffering, to learn a lesson from the pain and move on with our lives.

24. Doubt kills. The person who stops you from doing everything you want to do, who stops you
from being completely free, who stops you from being healthy or happy or passionate or living a
meaningful life is you. We can doubt ourselves to death.
25. It’s OK to wait. Leo Babauta always reminds his readers to slow down, that we don’t need to
hurry. Sometimes it’s OK to wait a little longer for something. Why rush if you don’t have to? Why
not enjoy the journey? Example: These days, when I’m walking the streets of Dayton or Portland or
Oakland or wherever, I don’t rush across the crosswalk when I see the flashing red hand warning
me that I need to hurry up and cross the damn street! Instead, I wait. I let red hand turn solid,
warning me to halt! and I let the traffic light change color from green to yellow and then red, and I
wait. I look around, I breathe, I think, and I wait. It’s OK to wait. We wrote an essay about waiting
earlier this year: Reasons For Waiting. Also, clearing my plate helped me tremendously with this.

26. Honesty is profoundly important. Honesty, at the most simple level, is telling the truth, not
lying. It’s incredibly important to be honest, and it’s hurtful when you’re not, but…

27. Openness is just as important as honesty. Openness is more complicated than honesty. Openness
involves being honest, while painting an accurate picture, shooting straight, not misleading other
people, and being real. Openness is far more subjective, and you have to be honest with yourself
before you can be open with others. This doesn’t mean that you must put your entire life on display.
Some things are private, and that’s OK too.

28. Adding value to other people is the only way to get their buy-in. We recently wrote an essay
about adding value to other people. It’s something I’ve lived by for a long time. When I managed a
large team of people I constantly asked them questions like, “how did you add value this week?” I
also asked that same question of myself, and I would share with my team how I added value that
week. That’s how I got their buy-in.

29. Hype is cancerous. While eating lunch with Leo in San Francisco he said something that stuck
with me: “I’m allergic to hype.” That sentence touched my nerve-endings and resonated in a special
way. So often we fall for the hype (e.g., “Buy More, Save More” and “Three Day Sale!”) and we
are suckered into rash buying decisions because of scarcity and a false sense of urgency. But we can
train ourselves to not only resist such hype, but to have a vitriolic reaction to the hype, to elicit a
response so off-putting that we avoid anything that’s hyped. This goes back to being aware, which
is, as I mentioned above, the most precious kind of freedom.

30. I’m still trying to figure it all out. I don’t intend to promulgate my views and opinions as some
sort of life maxims or absolute lessons by which you should live your life. What works for me
might not work for you (hell, sometimes it doesn’t even work for me). Hopefully some of it does
work for you though. I’m always growing, so I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments
below.
Please share this essay with others (tweet, like, email, etc.) if you enjoyed it.

Note: this essay was inspired by Leo Babauta’s 38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years, which I
thoroughly enjoyed reading (several times).
Leo babauta

38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years


Post written by Leo Babauta.

Today (April 30) I turn 38 years old.

I’ve been on this earth for nearly four decades. Being in a city like Paris, where there are buildings
that measure their age by the millennia, helps put that brief blink of the eye into perspective. But
still, it amazes me that I’ve been around that long — I feel like I’ve barely begun.

I’m not usually one to make a big deal about my birthday, but as always, it has given me an
opportunity to reflect. I thought I’d share a handful of lessons I’ve learned — as a helpful guide for
those just starting out.

This post is for my children, whom I miss greatly across the distance of a continent and an ocean. I
hope this will shine a dim light on the streets they have to navigate ahead of them, though I know
they’ll still stumble as much as I have.

This is for you, Chloe, Justin, Rain, Maia, Seth and Noelle. I apologize for the length.
38 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 38 Years

1. Always swallow your pride to say you’re sorry. Being too proud to apologize is never worth it —
your relationship suffers for no good benefit.

2. Possessions are worse than worthless — they’re harmful. They add no value to your life, and cost
you everything. Not just the money required to buy them, but the time and money spent shopping
for them, maintaining them, worrying about them, insuring them, fixing them, etc.

3. Slow down. Rushing is rarely worth it. Life is better enjoyed at a leisurely pace.

4. Goals aren’t as important as we think. Try working without them for a week. Turns out, you can
do amazing things without goals. And you don’t have to manage them, cutting out on some of the
bureaucracy of your life. You’re less stressed without goals, and you’re freer to choose paths you
couldn’t have foreseen without them.

5. The moment is all there is. All our worries and plans about the future, all our replaying of things
that happened in the past — it’s all in our heads, and it just distracts us from fully living right now.
Let go of all that, and just focus on what you’re doing, right at this moment. In this way, any
activity can be meditation.

6. When your child asks for your attention, always grant it. Give your child your full attention, and
instead of being annoyed at the interruption, be grateful for the reminder to spend time with
someone you love.

7. Don’t go into debt. That includes credit card debt, student debt, home debt, personal loans, auto
loans. We think they’re necessary but they’re not, at all. They cause more headaches than they’re
worth, they can ruin lives, and they cost us way more than we get. Spend less than you earn, go
without until you have the money.

8. I’m not cool, and I’m cool with that. I wasted a lot of energy when I was younger worrying about
being cool. It’s way more fun to forget about that, and just be yourself.
9. The only kind of marketing you need is an amazing product. If it’s good, people will spread the
word for you. All other kind of marketing is disingenuous.

10. Never send an email or message that’s unfit for the eyes of the world. In this digital age, you
never know what might slip into public view.

11. You can’t motivate people. The best you can hope for is to inspire them with your actions.
People who think they can use behavioral “science” or management techniques have not spent
enough time on the receiving end of either.

12. If you find yourself swimming with all the other fish, go the other way. They don’t know where
they’re going either.

13. You will miss a ton, but that’s OK. We’re so caught up in trying to do everything, experience all
the essential things, not miss out on anything important … that we forget the simple fact that we
cannot experience everything. That physical reality dictates we’ll miss most things. We can’t read
all the good books, watch all the good films, go to all the best cities in the world, try all the best
restaurants, meet all the great people. But the secret is: life is better when we don’t try to do
everything. Learn to enjoy the slice of life you experience, and life turns out to be wonderful.

14. Mistakes are the best way to learn. Don’t be afraid to make them. Try not to repeat the same
ones too often.

15. Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure, we’ll never learn how to succeed.
So try to fail, instead of trying to avoid failure through fear.

16. Rest is more important than you think. People work too hard, forget to rest, and then begin to
hate their jobs. In fitness, you see it constantly: people training for a marathon getting burned out
because they don’t know how to let their straining muscles and joints recover. People who try to do
too much because they don’t know that rest is where their body gets stronger, after the stress.

17. There are few joys that equal a good book, a good walk, a good hug, or a good friend. All are
free.

18. Fitness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long process, a learning process, something that
happens in little bits over a long period. I’ve been getting fit for five years now, and I still have
more to learn and do. But the progress I’ve made has been amazing, and it’s been a great journey.

19. The destination is just a tiny slice of the journey. We’re so worried about goals, about our
future, that we miss all the great things along the way. If you’re fixated on the goal, on the end, you
won’t enjoy it when you get there. You’ll be worried about the next goal, the next destination.

20. A good walk cures most problems. Want to lose weight and get fit? Walk. Want to enjoy life
but spend less? Walk. Want to cure stress and clear your head? Walk. Want to meditate and live in
the moment? Walk. Having trouble with a life or work problem? Walk, and your head gets clear.

21. Let go of expectations. When you have expectations of something — a person, an experience, a
vacation, a job, a book — you put it in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. You set
up an idealized version of the thing (or person) and then try to fit the reality into this ideal, and are
often disappointed. Instead, try to experience reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is, and be
happy that it is.

22. Giving is so much better than getting. Give with no expectation of getting something in return,
and it becomes a purer, more beautiful act. To often we give something and expect to get an equal
measure in return — at least get some gratitude or recognition for our efforts. Try to let go of that
need, and just give.

23. Competition is very rarely as useful as cooperation. Our society is geared toward competition —
rip each other’s throats out, survival of the fittest, yada yada. But humans are meant to work
together for the survival of the tribe, and cooperation pools our resources and allows everyone to
contribute what they can. It requires a whole other set of people skills to work cooperatively, but
it’s well worth the effort.

24. Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. We are often discontent in our lives,
desire more, because we don’t realize how much we have. Instead of focusing on what you don’t
have, be grateful for the amazing gifts you’ve been given: of loved ones and simple pleasures, of
health and sight and the gift of music and books, of nature and beauty and the ability to create, and
everything in between. Be grateful every day.

25. Compassion for other living things is more important than pleasure. Many people scoff at
vegetarianism because they love the taste of meat and cheese too much, but they are putting the
pleasure of their taste buds ahead of the suffering of other living, feeling beings. You can be
perfectly healthy on a vegetarian (even vegan) diet, so killing and torturing animals is absolutely
unnecessary. Compassion is a much more fulfilling way to live than closing your eyes to suffering.

26. Taste buds change. I thought I could never give up meat, but by doing it slowly, I never missed
it. I thought I could never give up junk food like sweets, fried crap, nachos, all kinds of unhealthy
things … and yet today I would rather eat some fresh berries or raw nuts. Weird, but it’s amazing
how much our taste buds can change.

27. Create. The world is full of distractions, but very few are as important as creating. In my job as
a writer, there is nothing that comes close to being as crucial as creating. In my life, creating is one
of the few things that has given me meaning. When it’s time to work, clear away all else and create.

28. Get some perspective. Usually when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective.
In the larger picture, this one problem means almost nothing. This fight we’re having with someone
else — it’s over something that matters naught. Let it go, and move on.

29. Don’t sit too much. It kills you. Move, dance, run, play.

30. Use the magic of compound interest. Invest early, and it will grow as if by alchemy. Live on
little, don’t get into debt, save all you can, and invest it in mutual funds. Watch your money grow.

31. All we are taught in schools, and all we see in the media (news, films, books, magazines,
Internet) has a worldview that we’re meant to conform to. Figure out what that worldview is, and
question it. Ask if there are alternatives, and investigate. Hint: the corporations exert influence over
all of our information sources. Another hint: read Chomsky.

32. Learn the art of empathy. Too often we judge people on too little information. We must try to
understand what they do instead, put ourselves in their shoes, start with the assumption that what
others do has a good reason if we understand what they’re going through. Life becomes much better
if you learn this art.

33. Do less. Most people try to do too much. They fill life with checklists, and try to crank out tasks
as if they were widget machines. Throw out the checklists and just figure out what’s important.
Stop being a machine and focus on what you love. Do it lovingly.
34. No one knows what they’re doing as parents. We’re all faking it, and hoping we’re getting it
right. Some people obsess about the details, and miss out on the fun. I just try not to mess them up
too much, to show them they’re loved, to enjoy the moments I can with them, to show them life is
fun, and stay out of the way of them becoming the amazing people they’re going to become. That
they already are.

35. Love comes in many flavors. I love my children, completely and more than I can ever fully
understand. I love them each in a different way, and know that each is perfect in his or her own
way.

36. Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it
passes much faster than you think. Your kids grow up so fast you get whiplash. You get gray hairs
before you’re done getting your bearings on life. Appreciate every damn moment.

37. Fear will try to stop you. Doubts will try to stop you. You’ll shy away from doing great things,
from going on new adventures, from creating something new and putting it out in the world,
because of self-doubt and fear. It will happen in the recesses of your mind, where you don’t even
know it’s happening. Become aware of these doubts and fears. Shine some light on them. Beat them
with a thousand tiny cuts. Do it anyway, because they are wrong.

38. I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know almost nothing, and that I’m
often wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking
forward to them all.

http://zenhabits.net/beginners-guide-to-gtd/
Minimalist Fun: The 100 Things Challenge

Photo by Zach Klein

Every Wednesday is Simplicity Day on Zen Habits.

Could you cut your personal possessions down to 100 things?

Last week, in my Haiku Productivity post, I mentioned blogger Dave Bruno’s 100 thing challenge.
It’s actually a challenge that I’ve seen in years past on other forums, but Dave’s version is that he’s
trying to cut his personal possessions down to 100 items.

Things not included:

Stuff that’s shared between him and other family members.


Non-personal stuff, like dishes, cleaning supplies, etc.
Books.
Tools.
Collections count as one item.

I thought I’d give the challenge a try, as it’s an extension of Haiku Productivity — which has one
rule: limit everything you do. If you limit your personal items, you are forced to choose. I don’t
think this will be that difficult for me, as I don’t have a ton of personal items, but it is greatly
appealing to the minimalist in me.

It’s supposed to be fun! Join me if you’d like. Let’s give ourselves a month (you can give yourself
longer if you like), starting today (Sept. 19). Is the number 100 an arbitrary number? Of course it is!
You could just as easily chosen 78, 94, 126, or the more magical 42. But it’s a nice round number,
and the actual number isn’t as important as the exercise of trying to limit your possessions.

Why go through the challenge?


A few reasons:

To help you declutter your home.


To make you realize what’s necessary, and what you love, and what you don’t need.
To free yourself of the burden of possessions.
For fun.
To force you to stick to the limit, even if you get new things.

If you have a minimalist streak in you, you might want to give it a try. If you’re really minimalist,
you might even want to go below 100 — perhaps 50.

Some suggestions
This challenge might actually raise a lot of questions, such as whether you count this item or that, or
whether you count a bunch of things as one item or not, or whether this item is considered
“personal” or not. My answer: decide for yourself. This isn’t a competition, and it’s not a way to
show off. It’s just for fun, and it’ll be different for each of us.

That said, here are a few suggestions:

First, take inventory. I’m going to start my inventory below. You can’t do this if you don’t know
how much to keep.
Next, mark the must-keep stuff. There are certain things you know you’re going to keep. Your
Nolan Ryan rookie card. Your autographed Cat’s Cradle. Your ipod. Mark those with a star, count
how many those are, to see how many you have left.
Then, the borderline stuff. What is stuff you might want to keep, but you’re not sure yet? Mark
them with a circle or something, and see where your count is. If you’re over 100, you have some
cutting to do. Cut until you get down to 100.
Get rid of the rest. Everything you’re not going to keep, you should get rid of. You have some
options: donate it to charity; find someone who wants it; list it on Freecycle; throw it away; sell it
on eBay or Craigslist; hold a garage sale. You could end up making some good cash on this.
However you do it, get rid of it.
If 100 is too easy for you, choose a lower number. You may already be a minimalist. If you only
have to get rid of 10 items to get down to 100, you might want to do something more challenging
— say 70 or 50 (or 42).
Decide how to count things. It’s really up to you. Do you count baseball cards individually?
Probably not — count them as one collection. How about a computer system? Your ipod and
assorted gear? A good rule-of-thumb you might use: if everything goes in one case, count it as one
item. If it’s all separate, count it as multiple items.

My inventory
Here’s what I’ve inventoried that I want to keep so far:

Keys
ID & debit card clipped together
wedding ring
Moleskine notebook
unopened Moleskine notebook (for when the first one’s finished)
bike
helmet
running shoes
sandals
flip flops
Doc Martens
jeans
jeans
jeans
slacks
slacks
slacks
long-sleeve shirt
long-sleeve shirt
long-sleeve shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
shirt
t-shirt
t-shirt
t-shirt
t-shirt
t-shirt
belt
razor
saving cream
toothbrush

Stuff I’m getting rid of includes:

slacks
t-shirts
shirts
ties
Simple living
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Mohandas Gandhi spinning yarn in 1942. Gandhi believed in a life of simplicity and self-
sufficiency.

Simple living encompasses a number of different voluntary practices to simplify one's lifestyle.
These may include reducing one's possessions or increasing self-sufficiency, for example. Simple
living may be characterized by individuals being satisfied with what they need rather than want.[1]
[2] Although asceticism generally promotes living simply and refraining from luxury and
indulgence, not all proponents of simple living are ascetics.[3] Simple living is distinct from those
living in forced poverty, as it is a voluntary lifestyle choice.

Adherents may choose simple living for a variety of personal reasons, such as spirituality, health,
increase in 'quality time' for family and friends, reducing personal ecological footprint, stress,
personal taste or frugality. Simple living can also be a reaction to materialism and conspicuous
consumption. Others cite socio-political goals aligned with the anti-consumerist movement,
including conservation, degrowth, social justice, ethnic diversity and sustainable development.
Contents
[hide]

1 History
1.1 Religious and spiritual
1.2 Secular
2 Practices
2.1 Reducing expenditure, income and possessions
2.2 Increasing self-sufficiency
2.3 Reconsidering technology
2.4 Simplifying diet
3 Politics
4 Economics
5 See also
6 Notes and references
7 Further reading
8 External links

[edit] History
[edit] Religious and spiritual
The Amish are known for their simple living and plain dress.

The recorded history of voluntary simplicity, often associated with asceticism, begins with the
Shramana traditions of Iron Age India. Buddha and biblical Nazarites (notably John the Baptist)
were early ascetics. Various notable individuals have claimed that spiritual inspiration led them to a
simple living lifestyle, such as Francis of Assisi, Ammon Hennacy, Leo Tolstoy, Rabindranath
Tagore, Albert Schweitzer, and Mohandas Gandhi.[4][5]

Simple living has traditions that stretch back to the Orient, resonating with leaders such as
Zarathustra, Buddha, Laozi, and Confucius and was heavily stressed in both Greco-Roman culture
and Judeo-Christian ethics.[5] Diogenes of Sinope was a Greek cynic who advocated extreme
voluntary poverty and purportedly lived in a barrel in the agora.

Epicureanism, based on the teachings of the Athens-based philosopher Epicurus, flourished from
about the fourth century BC to the third century AD. Epicureanism upheld the untroubled life as the
paradigm of happiness, made possible by carefully considered choices. Specifically, Epicurus
pointed out that troubles entailed by maintaining an extravagant lifestyle tend to outweigh the
pleasure of partaking in it. He therefore concluded that what is necessary for happiness, bodily
comfort, and life itself should be maintained at minimal cost, while all things beyond what is
necessary for these should either be tempered by moderation or completely avoided.[6]

Plain people are Christian groups who have for centuries practiced lifestyles in which some forms
of wealth or technology are excluded for religious or philosophical reasons. Groups include the
Shakers, Mennonites, Amish, Harmony Society, and some Quakers. There is a Quaker belief called
Testimony of Simplicity that a person ought to live her or his life simply.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau strongly praised the simple life in many of his writings, especially in his
Discourse on the Arts and Sciences (1750) and Discourse on Inequality (1754).[7]
[edit] Secular
Henry David Thoreau's cabin on the shores of Walden Pond.

Henry David Thoreau, a North American naturalist and author, is often considered to have made the
classic secular statement advocating a life of simple and sustainable living in his book Walden
(1854). Thoreau conducted a two year experiment living a plain and simple life on the shores of
Walden Pond.

In Victorian Britain, Henry Stephens Salt, an admirer of Thoreau, popularised the idea of
"Simplification, the saner method of living".[8] Other British advocates of the simple life included
Edward Carpenter, William Morris, and the members of "The Fellowship of the New Life".[9] C.R.
Ashbee and his followers also practiced some of these ideas, thus linking simplicity with the Arts
and Crafts Movement.[10] British novelist John Cowper Powys advocated the simple life in his
1933 book A Philosophy of Solitude.[11] John Middleton Murry and Max Plowman practised a
simple lifestyle at their Aldephi Centre in Essex in the 1930s.[12] Irish poet Patrick Kavanagh
championed a "right simplicity" philosophy based on ruralism in some of his work.[13]

George Lorenzo Noyes, a naturalist, mineralogist, development critic, writer, and artist, is known as
the Thoreau of Maine. He lived a wilderness lifestyle, advocating through his creative work a
simple life and reverence for nature. During the 1920s and 1930s, the Vanderbilt Agrarians of the
Southern United States advocated a lifestyle and culture centered upon traditional and sustainable
agrarian values as opposed to the progressive urban industrialism which dominated the Western
world at that time.

Thorstein Veblen warned against the conspicuous consumption of the materialistic society with The
Theory of the Leisure Class (1899); Richard Gregg coined the term "voluntary simplicity" in The
Value of Voluntary Simplicity (1936). From the 1920s, a number of modern authors articulated
both the theory and practice of living simply, among them Gandhian Richard Gregg, economists
Ralph Borsodi and Scott Nearing, anthropologist-poet Gary Snyder, and utopian fiction writer
Ernest Callenbach. E. F. Schumacher argued against the notion that "bigger is better" in Small Is
Beautiful (1973); and Duane Elgin continued the promotion of the simple life in Voluntary
simplicity (1981).
[edit] Practices
[edit] Reducing expenditure, income and possessions

Some people practice simple living by reducing expenditure on goods or services. By reducing
expenditure, it is possible to reduce income and the time spent earning money. The time saved may
be used to help family or others. For example during the Christmas and holiday season, some
people often perform alternative giving. Others may spend the extra free time to improve their
quality of life, for example pursuing creative activities such as art and crafts (see starving artist).

Another approach is to focus more fundamentally on the underlying motivation of buying and
consuming so many resources for a good quality of life.[citation needed] Though our society often
seeks to buy happiness, materialism very frequently fails to satisfy, and may even increase the level
of stress in life. It has been said that "the making of money and the accumulation of things should
not smother the purity of the soul, the life of the mind, the cohesion of the family, or the good of the
society."[14] There are eco-anarchist groups in the United States and Canada today promoting
lifestyles of simplicity. Simple living can entail only consuming the resources needed to sustain life.

The grassroots awareness campaign, National Downshifting Week (UK)[15] (founded 1995)
encourages participants to positively embrace living with less. Campaign creator, British writer and
broadcaster on downshifting and sustainable living, Tracey Smith says, "The more money you
spend, the more time you have to be out there earning it and the less time you have to spend with
the ones you love". National Downshifting Week encourages participants to 'Slow Down and Green
Up' and contains a list of suggestions for individuals, companies, children and schools to help adopt
green or eco-friendly policies and habits, develop corporate social and environmental responsibility
in the workplace, and create eco-protocols and lessons that work alongside the national curriculum,
respectively.

Reducing possessions can also form part of simple living. The 100 Thing Challenge is a grassroots
movement to whittle down possessions to a mere 100 items, with the aim of decluttering and
simplifying people's lives.[16]
[edit] Increasing self-sufficiency

One way to simplify life is to get back-to-the-land and grow your own food. Self-sufficiency can
reduce dependency on money and the economy. Although a large plot of land will produce more
crops, pot gardens and miniature indoor greenhouses can also provide fresh home grown fruit and
vegetables for city dwellers. Tomatoes, lettuce, spinach, Swiss chard, peas, strawberries, and
several types of herbs can all thrive in pots. Radical Simplicity also says that a person "could sprout
seeds. They are tasty, incredibly nutritious, and easy to grow... We grow them in wide mouthed
mason jars with a square of nylon window screen screwed under a metal ring".[17] One argument
against gardening at home is how often people begin a garden and later stop it. Farmer Matt Moore
spoke on this issue: "How does it affect the consumer to know that broccoli takes 105 days to grow
a head?," [...] "The supermarket mode is one of plenty — it's always stocked. And that changes our
sense of time. How long it takes to grow food — that's removed in the marketplace. They don't
want you to think about how long it takes to grow, because they want you to buy right now".[18]
One way to change this viewpoint is also suggested by Mr. Moore. He placed a video installation in
the produce section of a grocery store that documented the length of time it took to grow certain
vegetables.[18] This raises awareness in people of the length of time actually needed for gardens
and could easily be combined with online lectures to help new gardeners.

The idea of food miles, the number of miles a given item of food or its ingredients has travelled
between the farm and the table, is used by simple living advocates to argue for locally grown food.
This is now gaining mainstream acceptance, as shown by the popularity of books such as The 100-
Mile Diet, and Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life. In each of
these cases, the authors devoted a year to reducing their carbon footprint by eating locally.[19]

The do it yourself ethic refers to the principle of undertaking necessary tasks oneself rather than
having others, who are more skilled or experienced, complete them for you.
[edit] Reconsidering technology

Although simple living is often a secular pursuit, it may still involve reconsidering personal
definitions of appropriate technology, as Anabaptist groups such as the Amish or Mennonites have
done. People who eschew modern technology are often referred to as Luddites or Neo-Luddism
adherents.[20]
People who practice simple living have diverse views on the role of technology. Some simple living
adherents, such as Kirkpatrick Sale, are strong critics of modern technology,[20] while others see
the Internet as a key component of simple living in the future, including the reduction of an
individual's carbon footprint through telecommuting and less reliance on paper. Simple living may
include high-tech components—indeed computers, Internet, photovoltaic arrays, wind and water
turbines, and a variety of other cutting-edge technologies can be used to make a simple lifestyle
within mainstream culture easier and more sustainable.

Advertising is criticised for encouraging a consumerist mentality. Many advocates of simple living
tend to agree that cutting out, or cutting down on, television viewing is a key ingredient in simple
living. Some see the Internet, podcasting, community radio or pirate radio as viable alternatives.
[citation needed]
[edit] Simplifying diet

Another practice is the adoption of a simplified diet. Diets that may simplify domestic food
production and consumption include vegan diets and the Gandhi diet. In the United Kingdom, the
Movement for Compassionate Living was formed by Kathleen and Jack Jannaway in 1984, to
spread the vegan message and promote simple living and self-reliance as a remedy against the
exploitation of humans, animals, and the Earth.
[edit] Politics

Many Green Parties often advocate simple living as a consequence of their "four pillars" or the
"Ten Key Values" of the United States Green Party. This includes, in policy terms, their rejection of
genetic modification and nuclear power and other technologies they consider to be hazardous. The
Greens' support for simplicity is based on the reduction in natural resource usage and environmental
impact. This concept is expressed in Ernest Callenbach's "green triangle" of ecology, frugality and
health.

Many with similar views avoid involvement even with green politics as compromising simplicity,
however, and advocate forms of green anarchism that attempt to implement these principles at a
smaller scale, e.g. the ecovillage.

The alleged relationship between economic growth and war, when fought for control and
exploitation of natural and human resources, is considered a good reason for promoting a simple
living lifestyle. Avoiding the perpetuation of the resource curse is a similar objective of many
simple living adherents. Opposition to war has led some to a form of tax resistance in which they
reduce their tax liability by taking up a simple living lifestyle.[21]
[edit] Economics

A new economics movement has been building since the UN conference on the environment in
1972,[22] and the publication that year of Only One Earth, The Limits to Growth, and Blueprint For
Survival, followed in 1973 by Small Is Beautiful: Economics As If People Mattered.[23]

Recently, David Wann has introduced the idea of “simple prosperity” as it applies to a sustainable
lifestyle. From his point of view, and as a point of departure for what he calls real sustainability, “it
is important to ask ourselves three fundamental questions: what is the point of all our commuting
and consuming? What is the economy for? And, finally, why do we seem to be unhappier now than
when we began our initial pursuit for rich abundance?”[24] In this context, simple living is the
opposite of our modern quest for affluence and, as a result, it becomes less preoccupied with
quantity and more concerned about the preservation of cities, traditions and nature.

A reference point for this new economics can be found in James Robertson's A New Economics of
Sustainable Development,[23] and the work of thinkers and activists, who participate in his
Working for a Sane Alternative network and program. According to Robertson, the shift to
sustainability is likely to require a widespread shift of emphasis from raising incomes to reducing
costs.

The principles of the new economics, as set out by Robertson, are the following:

systematic empowerment of people (as opposed to making and keeping them dependent), as the
basis for people-centred development
systematic conservation of resources and the environment, as the basis for environmentally
sustainable development
evolution from a “wealth of nations” model of economic life to a one-world model, and from
today's inter-national economy to an ecologically sustainable, decentralising, multi-level one-world
economic system
restoration of political and ethical factors to a central place in economic life and thought
respect for qualitative values, not just quantitative values

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