BEP 400 – Socializing with Colleagues Part 1: Meeting New People

Hello and welcome back to Business English Pod for today’s lesson on socializing
with your colleagues. In this lesson we’re going to learn how to socialize with
colleagues you’re meeting in-person for the first time.

What do you talk about when you meet someone new or see your colleagues
socially? Some outgoing people apparently never have to think about it. They’re just
natural socializers and feel comfortable with small talk. For most of us though,
making small talk with new people or co-workers feels uncomfortable at best, or
painful at worst. But it doesn’t have to be.

We call it “small talk” because it’s light, simple, and informal conversation. It’s not
serious, deep, or overly formal. Small talk is often about personal matters, but not
too personal if it’s at work. We often talk about places or things that are safe and
avoid controversial topics. And there’s a flow to small talk that can be tricky to
master. Your comments can’t be too short, or you’ll seem rude. But if they’re too
long, people will lose interest.

So what can you talk about if you’re meeting colleagues for the first time at say a
conference or a company retreat? Well, some key topics include your name and job,
of course, but also places and travel. And key strategies include building on other
people’s comments, making guesses or inferences, and using unfinished sentences to
invite other people to speak. With a handle on these approaches, you can
comfortably chat socially with your colleagues.

In today’s dialog, we’ll hear a conversation at a company retreat. People from a

large company are gathering for meetings and team-building. We’ll hear Michelle,
Jen, and Ryan meet each other for the first time. In their conversation, you’ll hear
the topics and strategies that I just mentioned.

As you listen to the dialog, try to answer the following questions:

1. What information does Jen give in her short personal introduction?

2. What comment or fact given by Michelle does Jen build on with a further
comment?
3. What does Jen ask Ryan about once he has introduced himself?

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Vocabulary

Short and sweet: Nicely brief. “I was worried the staff meeting would be long and
boring, but it was short and sweet!”

Welcoming address: A speech given by a host or leader at the start of an event.

“Our annual general meeting this year will begin with a welcoming address by our
new CFO.”

To have someone down for: To guess or assume something about someone. “I had
Walter down for a serious family man, but it turns out he’s a lot of fun!”

Likewise: In the same way, or “me too.” “A: I think I’ll break for lunch now because
I’m pretty hungry. B: Likewise. Let’s go to that new café on the corner.”

Coast: The edge of the land by the sea. “My wife likes hiking in the mountains, but
I prefer vacations on the coast, relaxing on the beach and such.”

To have a blast: To have a lot of fun. “Our product launch party was amazing!
Everyone says that had a real blast.”

I take it: I assume or I guess. “Judging by the way you speak, I take it you’re from
England?”

In our midst: Among us or surrounded by us. “I’m not sure if everyone knew this
about Jen, but it turns out we have an Olympian in our midst!”

To hold it against someone: To use something as a reason to dislike or resent

someone. “So guys, I actually used to work for our biggest competition, but please
don’t hold it against me!”

Beat: Very tired. “Some of my co-workers like to go out on Friday nights, but I’m
so beat from the workweek I just relax at home.”

To get your second wind: To get renewed energy after being tired. “I wasn’t sure I
could finish the project yesterday, but I got a second wind around 5:00 and pushed
through!”

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Dialog

Michelle: Well, that was short and sweet. As far as welcoming addresses go.

Jen: For a change… and did I hear him mention grandkids? I had him down for
early 50’s.

Michelle: Sixty-three from what I heard. Michelle Young, by the way. Great to
meet you.

Jen: Likewise Michelle. Jen Ward, Customer Experience Manager in San Francisco.
And you’re in…

Michelle: The other coast. Boston.

Jen: Oh nice, I just love Boston. Harvard Square, Fenway Park… Seaport… I was
there in July. Had a blast!

Ryan: Did I just hear Fenway Park?

Michelle: You certainly did. I take it we have a baseball fan in our midst?

Ryan: You could say that, but… not the Red Sox, I’m afraid. I’m originally from
Toronto, so Jays all the way.

Michelle: Well I won’t hold it against you! It’s nice to meet you. Michelle Young.
And this is…

Jen: Jen Ward.

Ryan: Great to meet you both. Ryan Beattie. Marketing. And so you’re from Boston
Michelle, and Jen you’re from…?

Jen: Beautiful San Fran. And you said you’re originally from Toronto so I take it
you’re no longer there… did you have to travel far?

Ryan: Berlin actually.

Michelle: Wow, Europe!

Ryan: Yeah, just flew in a couple hours ago. Apologies if I look beat but… I am.
Wasn’t sure I’d come down for this after checking in, but think I might be getting
my second wind now…

Jen: Better hope it lasts, because apparently we’re going bowling after dinner.

Ryan: Oh great, always nice to find new ways to embarrass myself!

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Debrief

Now let’s go through the dialog again and look at the language and techniques the
three colleagues used in their conversation. The conversation begins right after a
speech or “welcoming address” from the company’s CEO.

Michelle: Well, that was short and sweet. As far as welcoming addresses go.

Jen: For a change… and did I hear him mention grandkids? I had him down for
early 50’s.

Michelle: Sixty-three from what I heard. Michelle Young, by the way. Great to
meet you.

Jen: Likewise Michelle. Jen Ward, Customer Experience Manager in San Francisco.
And you’re in…

Michelle strikes up a conversation with Jen, a co-worker she’s never met before, by
commenting on something they’re both experiencing. And Jen responds positively,
with a comment of her own. In this case, they’re commenting on the CEO’s speech
and his age. The focus is not on themselves, but what they’re seeing.

Once they’ve initiated the small talk, and it’s clear that Jen is interested in chatting,
Michelle introduces herself by giving her name. And Jen responds with her own
introduction with a very common pattern of information. She gives her full name,
her job title, and her place of work. In this case, they both work for the same
company, so she just gives the city name.

Let’s run through some examples of this kind of short personal introduction to
someone you’ve just met.

§ Hi, I’m Diego Garcia, VP finance.

§ Jill Kelly, regional sales manager, southwest division.
§ Hi there, I’m Ivan Taylor, with Crystal Media out of Houston.
§ Paula Schmidt, head of communications at MorningStar.

Now listen as Jen turns the conversation back to Michelle.

Jen: And you’re in…

Michelle: The other coast. Boston.

Jen: Oh nice, I just love Boston. Harvard Square, Fenway Park… Seaport… I was
there in July. Had a blast!

In small talk, you can’t let the other person do all the talking. You need to take a
topic that they mention and build on it. In this case, Jen is taking the topic of

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Boston and telling Michelle about her recent experience there and how much she
loves it.

This kind of commenting on what someone says, especially when it’s very positive,
is a great way to build rapport or a connection. What are some other ways we can
build a connection in this way? Let’s try some more examples.

§ You’re from Hawaii? I absolutely love it there! Which island are you from?
§ I’m a huge soccer fan as well. What’s your team?
§ Hot is right! I heard this weather will continue into the weekend.
§ A holiday sounds nice. Where are you thinking of going?

At this point, another person joins the conversation. And to do so, you’ll hear him
pick up one of the comments he’s just heard.

Ryan: Did I just hear Fenway Park?

Michelle: You certainly did. I take it we have a baseball fan in our midst?

Ryan has asked about Fenway Park, which is a baseball stadium in Boston. And so
Michelle makes an easy inference, or guess, that he’s interested in baseball. If
Ryan’s comment was like knocking on the door to the conversation, Michelle’s
question is like opening that door and inviting Ryan in.

Making little guesses and inviting comment is a way to invite someone deeper into
a conversation. You’re giving them the chance to talk about something that you
think they know about or are interested in. Let’s practice some more ways to make
inferences to invite further comment.

§ I take it you’ve been with your company for a long time.

§ From the sounds of it, you have a background in finance.
§ I’m guessing you’ve got quite a big family if you’re so busy.
§ Ah, you must listen to Mel Robbins’ podcast too!

So how does Ryan respond to the invitation to talk about baseball?

Ryan: You could say that, but… not the Red Sox, I’m afraid. I’m originally from
Toronto, so Jays all the way.

Michelle: Well I won’t hold it against you! It’s nice to meet you. Michelle Young.
And this is…

Ryan accepts the invitation into the conversation and reveals that he’s from
Toronto, and therefore supports the Blue Jays baseball team. You’ll notice that
Michelle is using some light teasing or joking when she says “I won’t hold it against
you.” That means she won’t dislike or resent him just for supporting the Blue Jays.
This kind of joking is appropriate in small talk, but only about simple and safe
topics.

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After Michelle introduces herself to Ryan, she wants to invite Jen to introduce
herself too. She does this by starting a sentence but not finishing it. When we do
this, especially when we draw out the last word, people understand that they’re
supposed to complete the sentence for you.

Passing the conversation to someone else with an unfinished sentence is a useful

socializing trick, so let’s practice some more examples.

§ Nice to meet you Fiona, and you are from…?

§ Wow, software development, huh? And you work for…?
§ I’ve been with Starbucks ten years, and you’ve been there for…?
§ I’m Will Rankin, and here with me today is…?

Let’s get back to the dialog, where you can hear Ryan use exactly the same
technique of using an unfinished sentence.

Jen: Jen Ward.

Ryan: Great to meet you both. Ryan Beattie. Marketing. And so you’re from Boston
Michelle, and Jen you’re from…?

Jen: Beautiful San Fran. And you said you’re originally from Toronto so I take it
you’re no longer there… did you have to travel far?

Now that the three people have all been introduced to each other, they need to find
some things to talk about. One safe and easy topic is travel, especially if you’re at
an event with people from other cities or countries.

Jen’s question is “did you have to travel far?” She’s inviting Ryan to talk about
where he lives or has come from. What are some other ways to ask about travel to
an event? Let’s run through some more examples.

§ Coming a long way for this or do you live nearby?

§ Did you just fly in this morning?
§ Was it easy for you to get to the hotel?
§ How far did you have to travel for this?

Now let’s hear where Ryan has travelled from.

Ryan: Berlin actually.

Michelle: Wow, Europe!

Ryan: Yeah, just flew in a couple hours ago. Apologies if I look beat but… I am.
Wasn’t sure I’d come down for this after checking in, but think I might be getting
my second wind now…

Jen: Better hope it lasts, because apparently we’re going bowling after dinner.

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Ryan: Oh great, always nice to find new ways to embarrass myself!

Ryan has travelled quite far for the event. He uses this fact to comment on how
tired – or “beat” – he is. But he also mentions that he is “getting his second wind,”
which is when we get fresh energy after being tired. And as you can hear, later in
the evening the group will go bowling, and Jen and Ryan will have some time to
take their social conversation to a deeper level.

Now let’s practice some of the language we learned in today’s lesson. Imagine you
are an HR manager at a staff retreat. Someone at the event has approached you
and started a conversation. You’ll hear a cue by the other person, then I’ll give you
a suggestion for what you can say in response. We’ll guide you through each step
in the practice and provide an example answer for each response.

Ready? Let’s give it a go.

Cue 1: Oh hi there, Margaret Geller. Marketing.

Start by saying it’s nice to meet her and introducing yourself as Kelly Manning, HR
manager.
Answer:

Cue 2: It’s a pleasure Kelly. Good to see so many amazing people at the retreat.
Now build on that comment by saying that it’s certainly a lot more than attended
last year.
Answer:

Cue 3: Oh is that right? I really wasn’t sure what to expect.

Next, say that you are guessing the person is fairly new to the company.
Answer:

Cue 4: That’s right, I joined about six months ago. It’s a really nice change from
my previous job.
Next, make a comment about her former work, but don’t finish it so that she can
provide the information.
Answer:

Cue 5: I was a communications manager for a mining company actually.

Finally say that’s interesting and ask if the person has had to travel far for this.
Answer:

Answer 1: Nice to meet you Margaret. Kelly Manning, HR manager.

Answer 2: Yes, it’s certainly a lot more than attended last year’s!
Answer 3: Ah, so I’m guessing that you’re fairly new to the company?
Answer 4: I see, and your previous job was…
Answer 5: Oh, that’s interesting, and have you had to travel far for this?

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Now let’s practice some of the vocabulary we’ve covered in this lesson. In a
moment, you’ll hear a series of sentences with a word replaced with a beep. Repeat
each sentence, including the missing word.

For example, if you hear:

Example Cue: I live in San Diego, which is on the west <beep> of the US.

You can say:

Example Answer: I live in San Diego, which is on the west coast of the US.

After each response, we’ll provide the correct answer. Let’s begin.

Cue 1: I was really impressed by Anne’s welcoming <beep> at the start of the
conference.
Answer:

Cue 2: I’m sorry everyone, but I’m just too <beep> to join you for drinks after work.
Answer:

Cue 3: It sounds like everyone had a <beep> at the staff party last week!
Answer:

Cue 4: I was feeling tired an hour ago, but I’m getting my second <beep> now!
Answer:

Answer 1: I was really impressed by Anne’s welcoming address at the start of the
conference.
Answer 2: I’m sorry everyone, but I’m just too beat to join you for drinks after work.
Answer 3: It sounds like everyone had a blast at the staff party last week!
Answer 4: I was feeling tired an hour ago, but I’m getting my second wind now!

We’ve reached the end of this lesson on socializing with work colleagues for the first
time. We’ve learned how to introduce yourself, build on someone else’s comment,
and make simple inferences. We’ve also covered how to use an unfinished sentence
to invite people to say more, and how to ask about travel to an event.

Thanks for listening and see you again soon!

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Language Review

A. Review Quiz

For each question, you must choose the sentence that best fulfills the given
language function or purpose.

1. What is a good way to give a brief personal intro?

a) Oh hi, I’m Dave Reynolds, marketing manager in the Chicago office.

b) Very nice to meet you, I’m happy to be here as well!
c) I grew up in New York, but now I live in Seattle.

2. Which of the following would be a good way to build on the comment “I’m
hoping to see a rock concert while I’m in town?”

a) I’m sorry but I don’t really know much about rock music.
b) Oh that sounds fun, I heard there’s some good shows on this weekend.
c) And how long are you in town for?

3. What could you say to make an inference that someone works in sales?

a) I know that you work in sales.

b) Could you tell me what line of work you’re in?
c) Ah, I take it you’re in sales then?

4. Which of the following illustrates using a half-sentence to invite a comment?

a) So Betty, you work out of…

b) Well, let me just say…
c) Some people like it here, but I…

5. How might you ask someone about travel to an event?

a) Please tell me about your travel to this event.

b) Do you travel a lot for work?
c) So, how far did you have to travel for this?

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B. Vocabulary and Idioms

Fill in the blanks with words from the box below. Be sure to put any verbs in the
right tense.

blast short hold

beat wind take

1. Well, from the way you are dressed, I _____________ it you just came from
the beach?

2. If you ever get a chance to go to Bali, you should. I had a _____________ on

my trip there last year.

3. Please don’t make your reports too long Jackie. People prefer them to be
_____________ and sweet.

4. Yes, Maria’s generation is very different from yours, but you shouldn’t
_____________ it against her.

5. I didn’t think I’d be able to go for dinner, but I’m getting my second
_____________!

6. Listen, I know you’re feeling pretty _____________ but could you just have a
quick look at this proposal?

Study Strategy

Informal conversation with friends or colleagues often involves introducing a topic,

then building on that topic by making further comments. If someone says they’re
from Spain, for example, you might build on that comment by saying that you
travelled to Spain once.

Think of several simple questions you might ask in an informal conversation with a
colleague. The questions might be about travel, sports, weather, family, or hobbies.
Next, make simple notes about the possible answers to those questions.

Now, with a colleague or friend, you are going to practice the basic back and forth
of conversation involving a question, a comment, and building on that comment.
Start by asking your question. Your partner can respond simply, using the notes
you’ve made about a response. Then you can make a comment to build on that
response. When you’ve gone through several of your questions, switch roles and let
your partner try.

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Answers

Listening Questions

1. In her introduction, Jen gives her name, job, and location.

2. Jen builds on Michelle’s comment about being from Boston.
3. After his introduction, Jen asks Ryan if he had to travel far for the event.

A. Review Quiz

1. a; 2. b; 3. c; 4. a; 5. c

B. Vocabulary and Idioms

1. Well, from the way you are dressed, I take it you just came from the beach?

2. If you ever get a chance to go to Bali, you should. I had a blast on my trip
there last year.

3. Please don’t make your reports too long Jackie. People prefer them to be short
and sweet.

4. Yes, Maria’s generation is very different from yours, but you shouldn’t hold it
against her.

5. I didn’t think I’d be able to go for dinner, but I’m getting my second wind!

6. Listen, I know you’re feeling pretty beat but could you just have a quick look at
this proposal?

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