FREELANCE POLICE

written and illustrated by assistant editor

STEVE PURCELL RICHARD ASHFORD
colored by editor
JOE ROSAS NEL YOMTOV
lettered by executive editor
L. LOIS BUHALIS epic comics
CARL POTTS

SAM & MAX FREELANCE POLICE 1992. Published by EPIC COMICS. OFFICE OF PUBLICATION: 387 PARK AVENUE SOUTH
NEW YORK. N.Y. 10016. Copyright ¢ 19 2 Steve Purcell, All rights reserved. Sam & Max Freelance Police (including all prominent
characters featured in this issue and the distinctive likenesses thereof) is a trademark of Steve Purcell. Price $2.25 per copy in the U.S.
and $2.70 per copy in Canada. No similarity between any ofthe names, characters, persons and or instiutions in this magazine with
those of any living or dead persons or institutions in intended, and any such similarity which may exist is purely coincidental. This
publication may not be sold excépt by authorized dealers and is sold subject to the condition that it may not be sold or distributed with
any part of its cover or markings removed, nor in a mutilated condition. "Epic Comics” is a registered trademark ot Epic Comics.
PRINTED INCANADA. GST #R127032852
THE COMPLETELY OBSCURE FRENCH FARCE, A
"GARGON, UNE OMELETTE ET DEUX BIFTEKS”

mn |. SS“
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Y MAXSITHINKISAW \| so

BANG! BANG!
KERPOW! KAK KAK KAK! 3S
AT-AT-AT-AT! KPSHHH! alas
STAND BACK, LITTLE IE MAKING A RACKET.
BUDDY. LESTA RAZOR-" “S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS
SHARP WOOD SHARD OF THIS JOB.
PIERCE YOUR
BALLOONISH HEAD.

Ge” I LOVE DiscHa IRGING

UNREGISTERED FIREARMS
WITH: tN CITY LIMITS.

I LIKE HOW HIS TINY

wf LEGS swim THROUGH THE
of/\ AIR. CANT KEEP HIM,
aN SAM?
Sol IRRY, MAX,
BUT Hi IS DIRTY LITTLE \B
IGE! RPRINTS ‘

Ny\ e |

(Va A a. =
 Uh oh, LOOKS LIKE ATEN-TWENTY
EIGHT. ELDERLY ICE CREAM MAN DOWN.
| \. I'D RADIO FOR BACKUP IF I HADA
RADIO OR A BACKUP.

POOR OLD MIS"

STICKY? IT'S AN
UGLY WORLD, SAM.
4

‘EAH. HE HASN'T
PROTECTION IN
WEEKS. HE OWES US A
ID WE’RE HERE
TO COLLECT.

ye

: (, |

E 'D MOST LIKELY BE SHA\

AND PEELED BEFORE THEY GOTAROU!
TO THE REALLY HORRIBLE STUFF.
 DS
jae
q

ec
HE NEEDS atTEANSEUSION SAM
\ LETS GO GET St =

miles ineRet rts

“aR WEEKEND?

feetsingle
(y THEM INSENSIBLE
Ve AND NOW
IUCKING
vie

>.
CH
INT‘S A CHARACTER.
CREDIT TO HIS
RZEALOUS
CREED.

athca. wer a
USSIONER. Tt
ee AL YOU BACK
ANY MINUTE. OKAY 2-
 Y
DUE To THE <™ [/
NATURE OF THE a CN
SENDING IT vag YOUR TEXT
SVER IS OBSCUR
STE} MY VISIONI.NG
SOSIEARD: —— aa

se - |
MA, Re

a
yey
7 @
 THANKS, FLINT. PAY ATTENTION, MAX. IT
BE GENTLE SAYS, "BAD TROUBLE ON
WOULD YOU? THE MOON. HURRY. LOVE,
THE COMI (ONER.

AND STILL
ON THE CLOc!
NO DOUBT.

LETS GET PACKED, MAX. MAKE WONDER IF THEY SELL

SURE YOU SEW 1.0. TAGS ON ALL, IMPENETRABLE ROBOT
NOUR UNDERWEAR. ARMOR DOWN AT

oreh a6.201
HANDYMAN 2

I'M GETTING REALLY \ ALL WE NEED NOW Is

EXCITED ABOUT THE IDEA Vy A TRUNKLOAD OF JELLY
OF BEINGIN A PLACE DONUTS, PEZ ANDARTI-
WITH NO OXYGEN OR
TV WRESTLING.

Ook,
I'M DROOLING LIKEA
NORWEGIAN ELKHOUND.
 THESE ARE DELICIOUS,
MAX. SO HOW DID YOU
HAPPEN To COME BY A
TWENTY YEAR OLO CRATE
OF VULCANIZEDSPACE
1D STICKS, THE
OFFICIAL SNACK FOOD
OF THE APOLLO
PROGRAM 7

“VE BEEN HOARDING

SOME OF MY FAVORITE FOODS

BY THE WAY, MAX. THAT WAS A

BRILLIANT IDEA, STUFFING THE MUFFLER

THANKS, SAM, Swen

I THOUGHT ITUP )S
WITH MY HUGE
BRAIN.

iJ CONDITIONS. STUFFING THE

° J ~~ "|MUFFLER SHOULD NOT BE
- ATTEMPTED BY READERS AS
\ S| (7 COULD RESULTIN DEATH
‘ OR DISMEMBERMENT. NO
CC ae S| KODING. DONT DO IT. UNLESS
z YOU REALLY WANT To.

“THATS ONE...SMALL STEP, ..FORASIX FOOT _DOG...PHASY

AP... FOR A THREE
 WELL, HERE .
WE ARE ON THE
MOON. PRETTY
BREATHTAKING,
huh?
YOU SAID IT SAM.
EVERYBODY
THERE'S NOAIRON THE
MOON.

NAT ol
FRAGILE LITTLE LIFE
ESSENCES ARE PROTECTED [a
BY THIS PENNY-CONSCIOUS
MOON GEAR.

LOOK, MAX. BULLET-

HOLES, ABLOODY

BUT I'M SURE OUR

REASON FOR BEING
IERE WILLSOON
BECOME APPARENT.
i /_ MAYBE THIS IS THE INEVITABLE
‘TRAP DOOR LEADING TO THE OBVIOU:
HOLLOW CORE OF THE MOON WHERE
HIGH DRAMA WILL NO

ENSUE. “
ENSUE. I DON’T
THINK THAT’SA
WORD, SAM.

ITHINK I’M HAVING SOME TROUBLE

FIGURING OUT HOW TO FIND THE
IES OR MOONITES OR WHATEVER:
THE HELL THEY’RE CALLED.

TAKE THAT
DIPPY BAG OFF

ET ME GET THIS
. WECAN BREATHE
EN?

I COULD NEVER
SAY THAT ABOUT AN
ASTRONAUT.
Bay Pay, LITTLE
KEEP YOUR BEADY
EYES PEELED, max. :
ie |
;
se COMES SOMETHING. I
ESS WE SHOULD PREPARE
BA MAYBEWECANCATCHA
LIFT INTO TOWN.
J yy SELVES FOR ACONFLicT TOO OUR-
YY COMPLICATED FOR
ee Yff
US TO
\REASON Our WAY OUT OF, a
E ¢ Raked OEP, x es :

3) <ime, gg

PIECE OF PAPER AND

YOU CAN READ IT
SITTING DOWN.

AND PUT
THE GUNS AWAY.
You" INNA
PUT SOMEONE'S
EYE OUT. Z
 YOU SEE, IN NATURE,
YYMEN APPARENTLY
SOMEONE ELSE.
IT THAT'S OKAY. GOT
THE RIDE WE NEEDED. CAN'T ORIVE

THINK YOU'RE ONTO

SOMETHING. WE BET
PLAY DUMB.

LL ME,
SIXTH FINGER COMING ON.
‘
ITS AN INTERSPECIES
HOLbuPL

\} d
é DOT IN’T ANY BODY
MOVE! IT'S ASTICKUPL
ALL WE WANT IS THE DOUGH--

\ WE WANNA DRINK FROM THE

q

NECK HOLE OF THE KING.

wi Ee START SCOOPIN’ THE

Me CASH INTO A PLAIN BROWN
OLDMAN.
WE FROW! IN e
ON THIS SORT OF Z
ACTIVITY. >

) Ony// &/

= WY
»
YOU! I KNOW YOUR VOICES NG
WE FINO IT . YOU'RE THAT HENDERSON
QL Cownrich T ALWAYS KNEW YOU
KID!
P> REPELLANT. WERE AHOOD.

GUESS THE COSTUME PARTY'S. S

OVER, FELLAS. WE WON'T BENEEDIN’
Bi THESE PATHETIC DISGUISES.

RAP OUTOF
THEM, SAM?
 OKAY, SHOW'S OVER, FOLKS. We
BREAK IT UP. YOU CAN CATCH
THE WHOLE THINGON
GS TV TONIGHT.

< — .
(A) THAT 'S GREAT! NOW
CAN YOU WAIL ONSOME OF
BATON?
WAG
9 THEM WITH YOUR
si(H\\IN
THANK YOU FORYOUR “WH | ae PF D
HELP, FRIENDS. BUT YOU
Bag DON'T LOOK L1KE YOU'RE.
FROM OUR WORLD. eal aidl)
WHERE IS YOUR
HOME?
ONE
OF THOSE.
POINTS OF LIGHT
YOU SEEIN
sk’

"ATWENTY YEA
IAKES AN EXCELLENT
BLUDGEONS BY THE

YES, I MUST TAKE YOU. Vows

TO THE MAYOR. WE HAVE >
AN IMPORTANT PROBLEM
HE MAY NEED YOUR
CONSULTATION FOR.
 WELL, THANKS FOR SHOWING
US DOWN HERE. ‘

HEY. MISTER.
SYOU--CAN-PUT--
Neste) IOs -

Ly |
WELL, IF YOU
WON'T BE NEEDING
MA ANYTHING Else--

WELL, YOU’ VE DONE IT, MAX. i

YOU WENT AND HURT THAT POOR
LITTLEGUY'S FEELINGS.
SAKE I FEEL AWFUL, as
PUT ‘EM DOWN? SAM. MAYBE
BYON
THE WAY HOME AND
BUY HIS LAST ELvIs-
HEADED i
IF THE THOUGHT
DOESN'T FLOAT
OUT OF MY HEAD
IN THE NEXT FEW
MINUTES, THAT
is.
AMO
 ‘Oh, FOR THE
LOVE OF GOD! DON'T cuT
THE BOOK | 1OTHEN
HAVE TO BUYASECOND.
cory?

WHAT COULD BEMORE ENJOYABLE THAN DRESSING AND

STRIPPING EVERYONE'S MOST BELOVED PIN-HEADED
CARTOON CHAL

CRUDE METHOD OF CONCEALING

MAX'S IDENTITY IN +/5 SERIES OF |
POORLY: FOCUSED STAG FILMS.
NESS
PSHTENING.TPGURBAN
IGHTENING,
peteSHE nosy
URBAN, CN ;
INFESTED UNDERBELLIES: SOME-
WHERE (SA THREE- FOOTNAKED

MAX'S HEAD 1S NOTUNLIKE]

THE SHAPE OF AN OLD-
ISTVLE GUM MACHINE-

= -OR FESTIVE
HOLIDAY GOURD.

SCUBA OUTFIT: FOR CLIMACTIC

UNDERWATER FIGHT SCENES OR
EXPLORING
OF THENEW THE
YORKFANTASTIC WORLD
SEWER SYSTEM.

7 USTRATED GUY: SAM COULDUSE

Lr AEA a ol Fl SECRETLY ENCODED HAWANIANILDSHIRT:
CON SAM'S
VEY A SEL DUCTIVE,
SIGNIFICANT.
A ENBISEGTO WRITHING IN
NATIVE DANCE COU! VEY
INGEN THUSIASTS: MESSAGE THE RIGHT CIRCLES. ORINSPIREA SHOOTING.
 THE LIGHT. WALK TO Neu
THE LIGHT, SAM. COME
IN TO THE LIGHT?
HELLO, GRAND-
MOTHER.

TAKE IT EASY, LITTLE Pal

FIELDMOUSE IN
THE BROOM
CLOSET!
I'VE
BEEN EXPECTING
YO 1U, MEN OF
THE EARTH.

Ooh,
MEN OF THE
EARTH. L
LIKE THAT.

YOUR ASSISTANCE
IS REQUIRED TORESOLVE
ACERTAIN--PEST PROBLEM
WHICH HAUNTS OUR
GLORIOUS CITY. THE
SITUATION IS GRAVE.
=
A PEST PROBLEM?
ATOWNLOAD OF RATS
HAS A PEST PROBLEM,
SAM. THAT'S PRETTY
FUNNY. AND FROM A
FLYING HEAD. AMAZING.

THE CREATURES YOU SEEK \ el

MAYBE FOUND ON THE DARK
SIDE OF THE MOONS

JUST OUT
THE BACK DOOR.
GO THROUGH THE
JANITOR’S SUPPLY
ROOM AND TAKE

(2
THAT SOUNDS
\ FINE. AND JUST

AND 0O
HINK I COULT
A CLAW HAMi
THANKS. WE'LL SEE YOu TTT
WELL
FOR US WHEN WE RETURN KEEP AN EYEOUT
FROM OUR GRUELING FOR THE REST OF
ADVENTURE?

BE THE WAY. SEE

ANYTHING?

THIS WELL-
USED PORTAL
SEEMS TO BE WHERE
WE WANT TO BE. IT
LOOKS LIKE IT’S
RIGGED WITH AFORCE
FIELD THAT SEEMS
TOBE TURNED OFF
AT THE MOMENT.

THAT LOOKS
LIKE THE DARK
SIDE OF THE MOON
RIGHT OVER
HERE.

I CAN SEE THE MURKY OUTLINES,

OF TERRIBLE IMMENSE BEINGS
LUMBERING THROUGH A
NIGHTMARISH CITYSCAPE. NEATS
LET’S GO LOOK
AT THE GIANT
BUGS!
 WE'VE GOT To FIND
OUT WHAT THEY’RE DOING
THOSE POOR FUZZY LITTLE RAT
PLE THEY’VE BEEN HARVESTING.
>
 ITSMELLS
LIKE COFFEE. WHATS
HE ADDINGTo IT?
 Uh-oh! IT'S
THE UNIVERSAL YES,
SIGN OF SURPRISE DEFINITELY
AND ALARM! ON HIS WAY
I THINK HE'S A OVER HERE.
SPOTTED
ust

Ss Aww, WHAT
Y ARE WE AFRAID
OF? WHAT'S THE
WORST THINGA
BIG SLOW-MOVING,
STUPID, FIFTY-FOOT

STOMPING ON.
SQUISHING THE
LIFE OUTOF,
OlSEMBOWELING
WITH TERRIBLE
FORECLAWS.

THOSE ARE
VALID CONCERNS.
SAM. I GUESS
SCURRVING
PATHETICALLY AWAY
LIKE AN EARWIG IS
NOT SUCH AN
ALTOGETHER
UNMANLY
THING
LEVER. NO! NOf NOT THE
Te
U rs
= dj

|
 I'M INSIDE YOU, SAM. EVERY-
THING THAT MAKES ME AUNIQUE
INDIVIDUAL CEXCEPT FOR MY
BONES. SKIN AND ORGANS,
OF COURSE) IS NOW CONTAINED
WITHIN YOU. DID IMENTION THAT
IT'S KINDOF DARK AND CLAMMY IN
HERE ? YOU SHOULD THINK
ABOUT CHANGING YOUR DIET.

YOU MEAN THE

IDEA OF CONSCIOUSNESS:
TRANSFERENCE? YOU CAN BE DEAD
(GOD,ICAN'T BELIEVE AND NEVER HAVE TO
I'M SAYING THAT.) STOP TALKING-

HEY, WAITA WHATARE THAT’S BETTER.

MINOTE. LET ME YOU DOING, IT SEEMS MORE
TRY SOMETHING. SAM? MOUTHLIKE.

YEAH, THAT'S
GOOD. MAYBE I
COULD TRY SPITTING
OUT YOUR FIST.

THIS DEATH THING THERES NOW YOU'RE

HASN'T REALLY STARTING TO LOOK LIKE
CHANGED YOU ALL YOUR OLD SELF.
THAT MUCH, MAX.

YES. SAM! I'M

YOU'RE RIGHT, FEELING NEW, YOUNG
SAM. NOW THAT IM AND VITALS LET'S ARM.
WRESTLE!
FEELING ANEW ZEST
FOR LIFE, BAD WELL, DON'T GET STUPID. BUT
TIMING, IGUESS. YOU AT LEASTREMIND MEOF YOUROLO
LOVABLE, CUDDLY SELF. EVEN THOUGH YOU
‘SMELL LIKEAFIRE INA WIG FACTORY.
 Oh, ONE MORE THING.
IT'S HARD TO RELATE TO
A CREATURE WITHOUT S. EX¢
2 FO! PANCREAS.
MAKE THAT THING NEVER DID
TERRIBLE CARTOON ME A DAMN BITOF
CHARACTERS. Goop.

I_THINK YOU'RE VASTLY

UNDERRATING THE FUNCTION
OF THE PANCREAS, MAX. BUT
MOREON THAT, LATER.

MAYBE THE MAYOR OR

WHATEVER THE HELL HE IS CAN
US SOME HELPFUL HINTS.

ft
A

Al
COULD HELP USOUT.
ANY Deas? A] NOUR PROMISE OF
AIDING US WITH OU!
ROACH PROBLEM.
 IN YOU GO, LITTLE NO, SAM. YOU MUST BE
FELLA’. REMEMBER THINKING OF THE TIMES WE
WHEN I USED TO MADE HOMEMADE DONUTS.
BATHE YOU 45 A IN THE DEEP FRYER.
BABY?

YOu MUST
NOW APPLY THE
HELMET OF
SUPPLICANCE.

SHUT \
THE HELL UP,
SAMS THAT!

MOMENTS ANI
DIUS =~
=
MAX DOESNT eS
HE'S CONSIDEREDA
MINERAL.
 ANY LUCK? I’M BEGINNING
TO FEEL LIKEMY SPARSELY
POPULATEDOLD SELF.

@ I THINK WERE
GETTING CLOSE,
MAX.

YOU KNOW, MAX; WHEN I --AND IT SEEMED SOMEHOW...

WAS HAULING YOUR REMAINS SIGNIFICANT.
AROUND IN THAT OILY PAPER
SAM, MAYBE
SOMETHING GOOD
WILL EVENTUALLY
COME OUT OF ALL
THIS.

er
YoRK sunexti)

THEY SAY IT’S,

AFIFTY-FOOT ROACH
WE HAVE A PRETTY CRAPPY VIEW. " WHO CARES, SAM. L SAW ENOUGH
OF THE BIG MOON ROACH PARADE. OF THE GIANT ROACHES TO SOUR ME ON
BUT THE WHOLE IDEA OF CREEPING
VERMIN IN GENERAL.

(a
a:
ZAI SO HOW ARE YOU DOING,

VA.

AND L KEEP SPITTING

uP SAWDUST.

WELL WHADDYA KNOW 2?

ITS AN ITTY BITTY PLAINOLD
A EARTH ROACH, AND HE'S
PACKIN’A ROD.
I DON'T
LIKE THE LOOKON HIS.
FACE, SAM. 'S
CALCULATED. ALM
INHUMAN.
A
gale WHY AREN'T
‘YOU OUT CELEBRATING
WITH EVERYONE ELSE?
DON’T YOU KNOW
THIS IS ONEOF THEFIRST
COCKROACH-RELATED
HOLIDAYS?

WHACKED THE MAILMAN

ITAWAY, WHY AREN’T SO WE WOULDN'T GET OUR
WE TAKING CAREOF MOON GIG. AND IT MIGHT
OUR OWN VERMIN HAVE WORKED IF HE WASN
BEFORE WECATER
TO FOREIGNERS.

HEY, TAKE IT EASY,

FELLA’. DON’T GOGETTING
YOURSELF IN ANY DEEPER.
JUST HANDOVER THE
PISTOL AND NOBODY WILL
GET phcaewent
MAX?
 FORGET IT, LITTLE BUDDY, “Ul
I THINCT FEEL ONE OF MY
A. LAME SONGS COMING
+,

(fTT a / ww HH silly
| , ~
ill
ililge

Jag N
=P = :
(OON ‘Oh,WELL,
DON'T
THE( FEEL
t COMINGON
AL

: fpr!
5 iEMOON
i BEST EXPRESSED
BN, THROUGH THIS BAGPIPE |
SOLO,

BUST ME UR
MAX,