The Intuitive Eating Workbook For Teens 1

“Elyse Resch packs over thirty-six years of counseling wisdom and intuitive eating expertise
into this welcome resource for teens, which will help them overcome the bondage of diet culture
and body dissatisfaction. The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens is chock-full of tips and helpful
exercises, and written in a way that teens will easily connect with, such as how to deal with food
when it is the ‘frenemy.’ Health professionals will appreciate the eighty-four activities that can
help their adolescent clients reconnect with (and trust) their own innate body wisdom.”
—Evelyn Tribole, MS, RDN, CEDRD-S, is coauthor of Intuitive Eating and The Intuitive
Eating Workbook, and has a private counseling practice in Newport Beach, CA
“Many years ago, when I gave up dieting for intuitive eating, I felt relief! I was no longer obsessed
with food or disliked my body. Intuitive eating continues to enhance my well-being. The Intuitive
Eating Workbook for Teens will do this for you. Elyse Resch is the world’s leading authority on intui-
tive eating, and her ideas on intuitive eating are confirmed by hundreds of research studies. In
this workbook, she has distilled the ten principles of intuitive eating into many thought-provoking
and effective activities that will help all teens make peace with food and their bodies.”
—Tracy Tylka, PhD, professor, editor-in-chief of Body Image, and coeditor of Handbook
of Positive Body Image and Embodiment
“Having overcome my own eating disorder (that began in my teens), and having spent the last
several decades helping teens in my psychotherapy practice, I know the immense benefits that the
intuitive eating process can offer to a young person’s life. Elyse lays it all out beautifully in this
important workbook. The original Intuitive Eating book introduced us to a life-changing concept.
This teen version will do nothing less.”
—Andrea Wachter, LMFT, author of Getting Over Overeating for Teens, and coauthor
of Mirror, Mirror on the Wall and The Don’t Diet, Live-It Workbook
“Brilliant, best-selling author and dietitian Elyse Resch has done it again with this wonderful
workbook designed to help teenagers learn how to eat in a balanced, joyful, intuitive way. This
fun, interactive, and comprehensive guide encourages teens to consider how the toxic effects of
social media and harmful ‘diet culture’ messages—as well as their own sense of self-confidence
and emotional states—affect their relationship with food and their bodies. In honoring body
diversity and bringing commonsense wisdom to teens, this workbook also offers highly medi-
cally sound advice. I will definitely be recommending it for my teenage patients!”
—Jennifer L. Gaudiani, MD, CEDS, FAED, founder and medical director, Gaudiani Clinic
“I wish I’d had The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens by Elyse Resch when I was a teenager to teach
me the dangers of chronic dieting and how to identify hunger, cravings, satisfaction, and fullness.
This workbook covers all this and more—how to stop making comparisons with others, value
your body, shower yourself with compassion, and assign food a healthy place in your life. Resch’s
expertise in feeding ourselves shines through on every page and makes the workbook a perfect
read for adolescents hungry for knowledge about how to eat well and take care of their bodies.”
—Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, Med, is an eating psychology expert, popular blogger,
and author of seven books on eating, weight, and body image, including
Outsmarting Overeating and The Rules of “Normal” Eating
“I love this workbook! I work with adult survivors of childhood abuse, and that abuse has inter-
fered with their ability to take care of themselves and to develop a healthy relationship with food
and their bodies. For teens who read and use this workbook, they will be given the tools to learn
to trust their inner voice in ways that my clients have not. Their relationship with food and their
bodies is fundamental to creating a happy and healthy life. I wish my clients had had this work-
book when they were teens.”
—Arlene Drake, PhD, LMFT, is a psychotherapist who is an expert in treating
adult survivors of childhood abuse, and is author of Carefrontation
“Elyse Resch has done it again with this must-have, go-to guide for teens, their parents, and
treatment professionals! The principles of intuitive eating come to life in new ways with practi-
cal activities and relatable examples through Elyse’s compassionate, non-parental tone. This book
will prevent teens from dieting and disordered eating, offering them a clear path to a relationship
with food and themselves during the teen years and beyond. This book offers endless wisdom
and actionable steps that anyone can use. I can’t recommend this book highly enough!”
—Janean Anderson, PhD, CEDS-S, licensed psychologist, certified eating disorders
specialist, host, The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast, best-selling author of Recover
Your Perspective, founder and director, Colorado Therapy & Assessment Center
“Social media, consumer culture, and high school health class surround our kids in a sea of
nutrition misinformation without a raft. Enter The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens—a lifesaver
crafted of IE wisdom, encouragement to rebel against diet rules, and worksheets that tap into
personal truths. Until every teen has a personal dietitian, they should all get a copy of this book.”
—Jessica Setnick, MS, RD, CEDRD-S, director of The International Federation of
Eating Disorder Dietitians, and author of The Eating Disorders Clinical Pocket Guide
“Intuitive eating changed my life. I only wish I’d known about these transformative principles
when I was a teen. Read this book to make peace with food and your body!”
—Jenni Schaefer, author of Life Without Ed; Almost Anorexic; and Goodbye Ed, Hello Me
“This is the book we’ve been waiting for! In The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens, Resch compas-
sionately offers her fresh perspective on eating for teens who don’t want to diet. I would recom-
mend a copy for everyone, as it provides smart guidance and empowers teen readers to let go of
stress with food and body using the proven science of intuitive eating.”
—Sumner Brooks, MPH, RDN, CEDRD, is an eating disorder dietitian, creator of
EDRD Pro for eating disorder professionals, and coauthor of Savvy Girl
“As diet culture continues to influence younger and younger populations, eating disorders con-
tinue to rise exponentially. Elyse unmasks the veil of diet culture, blasts through society and
cultural standards, and speaks with kindness and compassion to our world’s youth. Despite the
serious, challenging nature of the workbook, Elyse speaks with a ‘cool factor’ that particularly res-
onates with youth and teens everywhere. The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens is a true godsend
to teens everywhere, no matter your culture or socioeconomic status!”
—Stefani Reinold, MD, MPH, board-certified psychiatrist, author of Let Your Heart Out,
and host of the podcast It’s Not About the Food
“The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens is a vital resource that is sure to help teens everywhere
create a healthier relationship with food. How wonderful that this foundation of health be built
early, while the brain is still developing, and the habit of self-care can be instilled, lasting a life-
time. It is comprehensive, interactive, and well written. This is a must-have read for teens!”
—Maryann Jacobsen, MS, RD, author of How to Raise a Mindful Eater, and
coauthor of Fearless Feeding
“Intuitive Eating changed my life, and I only wish I had found it when I was a teenager. It would
have saved me so much anguish and given me back the many years I spent in the cycle of dieting,
disordered eating, and self-loathing. I can think of no better—or more important—gift to bestow
upon a young person struggling with food and body image. It is a guiding light through the
chaos of diet culture, encouraging an unshakeable self-respect and commonsense approach to
food, fitness, and body acceptance.”
—Kelsey Miller, creator of The Anti-Diet Project, and author of Big Girl and
I’ll Be There for You
“With clarity and kindness, The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens offers a reliable structure for
healing your relationship to food and learning to trust your body. I wish I had this book when I
was a dieting teen! It would have made all the difference when I was feeling vulnerable to weight
and body concerns.”
—Rebecca Scritchfield, RDN, EP-C, author of Body Kindness
“I will be recommending The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens far and wide! In today’s diet
culture, teens are constantly exposed to messages about food, dieting, and weight that often result
in eating struggles and poor body image. Through easy-to-understand information and engaging
activities, Elyse Resch offers an invaluable resource to help teens develop a lifelong positive and
nourishing relationship with food and their bodies. Parents will also benefit from reading this
workbook so that they can fully support their teens in letting go of the diet mentality and becom-
ing intuitive eaters. Thank you, Elyse!”
—Judith Matz, coauthor of The Diet Survivor’s Handbook and Beyond a Shadow of a Diet
the intuitive eating
workbook for teens
a non-diet, body positive
approach to building a healthy
relationship with food
ELYSE RESCH, MS, RDN
Instant Help Books

An Imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered.
It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other
professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be
sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2019 by Elyse Resch

Instant Help Books
An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Acquired by Ryan Buresh
Edited by Karen Schader
Illustrations by Russelle Marcato Westbrook
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
21 20 19
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 First Printing
To every teen who has struggled with your relationship with food and your body—I offer you a
path to the freedom and joy that comes with trusting your inner wisdom as an intuitive eater.
And to Michael Resch, my son, the original intuitive eater and love of my life.
Contents
Introduction1
chapter 1 What’s Wrong with Dieting? 5

activity 1  Understanding the Problem with Diets6
activity 2  Weighing the Pros and Cons of Dieting9
activity 3  Feeling the Power of Deprivation11
activity 4  Dieting Leads to Necessary Rebellion14
activity 5  Intuitive Eating Is All About Autonomy17
activity 6  Getting Rid of the Diet Mentality18
chapter 2 Savor and Be Satisfied! 21

activity 7  What Needs to Change?22
activity 8  Choosing the Foods You Crave23
activity 9  Why Dieting Is No Fun25
activity 10  Finding a Sense of Satisfaction26
activity 11  Appearance Can Be Appealing29
activity 12  Feeling Body Satisfaction32
activity 13  Planning a Satisfying Meal33
activity 14  Exploring Your Eating Environment: Distractions and Speed35
activity 15  Exploring Your Eating Environment: Hunger and Emotion37
activity 16  Exploring Your Eating Environment: Conflict and Chaos40
activity 17  Satisfaction: Seeing the Big Picture43
chapter 3 Your License To Eat What You Like 47

activity 18  Identifying Your Food Rules48
activity 19  Recognizing Where Your Food Rules Come From51
activity 20  Breaking Your Food Rules—and Letting them Go54
activity 21  Understanding Habituation57
activity 22  Tracking What You Eat For a Week60
activity 23  Food Rules and Friends65
activity 24  Exploring Your Favorite Foods67
chapter 4 Banishing the Food Police 69
activity 25  Spotting the Food Police 70
activity 26  Challenging the Food Police: Getting Started 72
activity 27  Challenging the Food Police: Banishing Black-and-White Thinking 75
activity 28  Challenging the Food Police: The Trap of Perfectionism 77
activity 29  Challenging the Food Police: Using “For the Most Part” Thinking 78
activity 30  Exploring How Your Feelings Affect Your Actions 79
activity 31  Speaking Up for Yourself 81
chapter 5 Do You Hear Your Stomach Growling? 85

activity 32  Getting In Touch with Physical Hunger: Signals 86
activity 33  Getting In Touch with Physical Hunger: Rating Your Signals 88
activity 34  Testing Out Taste Hunger 90
activity 35  Emotional Hunger 92
activity 36  Experience-Sharing Hunger 94
activity 37  Energy-Seeking Hunger 97
activity 38  Setups for Negative Outcomes 99
chapter 6 Full and Comfortable 103

activity 39  What Fullness Feels Like 104
activity 40  Learning to Identify Fullness: Staying Present 106
activity 41  Learning to Identify Fullness: Eating Slowly 109
activity 42  Learning to Identify Fullness: Avoiding Primal Hunger 111
activity 43  Learning to Identify Fullness: Starting to Eat When You’re
Comfortably Hungry 115
activity 44  Learning To Identify Fullness: Paying Attention to Why You
Start Eating 116
activity 45  Learning To Identify Fullness: Navigating Family Rules 118
chapter 7 Is Food Your Frenemy? 121

activity 46  Understanding Why People Eat 122
activity 47  Practicing Compassion 124
activity 48  Practicing Gratitude 128
activity 49  Exploring Your Range of Emotions 131
activity 50  Practicing Self-Care 134
vi
activity 51  Finding Balance138
activity 52  Feeling the Power of Nurturance141
activity 53  Building Your Emotional Muscle: Sit with Difficult Feelings144
activity 54  Building Your Emotional Muscle: Allow the Sadness of Saying
“Enough”145
activity 55  Building Your Emotional Muscle: Get to Know What You Feel
and What You Really Need147
activity 56  Using Helpful Distraction149
activity 57  Preparing and Rehearsing150
chapter 8 Your Body: Temple, Fortress, or Foe? 153

activity 58  Temple, Fortress, or Foe?154
activity 59  Unlocking the Door to the Fortress155
activity 60  Showing Yourself Compassion, Once Again157
activity 61  Rejecting the Foe159
activity 62  Making Your Body Your Temple161
activity 63  Accepting Mother Nature’s Plan163
activity 64  Recognizing the Many Miraculous Things Your Body Can Do165
activity 65  Finding Even More Gratitude167
activity 66  Taking Care of Your Body’s Needs168
activity 67  Saying Nice Things About Your Body169
activity 68  Wearing Comfortable Clothes You Enjoy172
activity 69  Doing Nurturing Things for Your Body173
activity 70  Stopping Comparisons175
activity 71  Changing Your Social Media Habits177
chapter 9 Joyful Movement 181

activity 72  Every Living Thing Moves!182
activity 73  Exploring Exercise vs. Movement184
activity 74  Learning About NEAT187
activity 75  Being Sedentary189
activity 76  Wondering About Exercise Resistance192
activity 77  Why Include Movement?194
activity 78  Recognizing Overexercising199
vii
Chapter 10 From Nutrition To Play Food—Room For It All 201
activity 79  Figuring Out If You’re Really Ready for Nutrition Facts202
activity 80  Paying Attention to How Eating Can Affect How You Feel204
activity 81  Learning Exactly What Nutrition Is207
activity 82  Exploring How Play Food Fits In211
activity 83  Learning About Commonsense Nutrition213
activity 84  Putting It All Together215
Acknowledgments223
viii
Introduction
In some ways, I was super lucky when I was a teenager. Nobody I knew at school talked about
weight or bodies. Maybe it was because I didn’t hang with the kids who did. Or, maybe, people
just weren’t so body focused.
For you, though, it’s likely that many of your friends are obsessed with something called the
culturally thin ideal. We live in a world that promotes being thin as a lofty goal. Because of this,
you’re probably hearing a lot of body-bashing comments—people saying nasty things about the
size or shape of their bodies, because they think they don’t match up. Kids of all genders feel the
pressure for body perfection. They talk about how they’re sure life would be so much better if only
they could buy clothes in a smaller size. Or you may hear them saying that they believe they’d
be more popular if they had “six-packs.” Essentially, all teens can be affected by an appearance-
oriented world. Regardless of where they fall on the gender spectrum, many teens are victims
of these unrealistic demands. They’re hating their bodies and fantasizing that they’ll be liked or
admired more if only their bodies were “perfect.”
It’s not surprising that this kind of thinking is so widespread among kids. Adults often think
and feel the same way. Your mother may talk about how fat she feels or how she wishes she could
just not eat any carbs (as if this were a positive goal!); your father may be upset that he doesn’t have
the taut muscles he had in college. And even if your parents aren’t talking this way, you may hear
your doctor say things like, “I’m worried about your weight—you’ve gained too much this year.”
That can make you feel bad and inadequate and even scared.
You’re also seeing magazine ads using photoshopped pictures of models that look perfect to
you, making you feel even more inadequate, and you’re bombarded by images of unrealistically
thin and flawlessly muscular bodies on TV and in the movies.
And then there’s social media: a constant reminder that you’re not good enough. Social media
celebrities—and even your friends—post pictures of themselves looking as if they have perfect
lives. (Of course, people post those pictures only on their best days. And, like everyone, they’ve
probably deleted all the ones on their phones that they think make them look bad. They would
never post those!)
Instead of questioning these images or any of the conversations that are going on about this
drive for beauty, thinness, and perfection, you may find yourself driven to talk about depress-
ing, anxiety-triggering things like needing to lose weight, debating good versus bad foods, and
feeling fat, just as often or even more often than you talk about things that are positive and make
you feel happy, like your crushes and your favorite music.
You may believe that you’re not good enough just as you are; you may have been tempted to
go on diets so you can get the perfect body. But here’s the thing: diets are doomed to failure and
can have some serious negative side effects. Many people who diet go on to bingeing after they
fall off the diet. Also, when you hear that someone is on a diet, it’s a good bet that there could be
a future eating disorder in the making. And what’s really scary is that young kids who diet have
a big chance of developing an eating disorder by the time they’re in their teens.
Sounds like terrible news, right? It does not have to be, because there is another way. Intuitive
eating, which you’ll be learning about in this workbook, is about being comfortable with who you
are, both inside and out, and becoming liberated from the external pressures to conform.
You’ll learn what you need to fight the influences social media, TV, movies, your parents, and
maybe even your doctor have on you. You’ll learn to have a good, healthy relationship with your
body—and with food—in spite of all the messages that make you feel that’s just not possible for
you.
Intuitive Eating is a philosophy based on the belief that most people are born with all the
wisdom they need to know how to eat in a satisfying and balanced way. If you’ve lost touch with
this wisdom—and so many of us have—Intuitive Eating helps you reconnect with it. It helps you
become more body positive and promises you a sense of freedom to truly enjoy all foods and to
feel the safety that comes with trusting your wise body.
Over ninety research studies have focused on the benefits of intuitive eating. These studies
have shown that intuitive eaters have better coping skills; higher self-esteem; a greater sense of
well-being; more optimism, body appreciation, and acceptance; more awareness of signals their
body gives them, psychological strength, and unconditional self-regard; and, most important,
more pleasure from eating. From a medical standpoint, intuitive eaters are also found to be physi-
cally healthier in many ways. So how does this all sound to you? Intriguing, I hope!
The Principles of Intuitive Eating

Intuitive Eating is made up of ten steps or principles:
• Reject the Diet Mentality. This principle teaches you about what’s wrong with dieting and
why you’re going to want to ditch this miserable process.
• Honor Your Hunger. Here you’ll learn about your personal relationship with hunger—
whether you are usually hungry as a bear, ignore your hunger, or are tuned into normal
hunger.
• Make Peace with Food. Find out if you’re living in Food Jail, believing that there are
“good” foods and “bad” foods. (Hint: there aren’t.) And you’ll learn to challenge all the
rules about eating that have kept you imprisoned.
2
• Challenge the Food Police. If you find yourself in Food Jail, you might need to ask: who is
keeping you imprisoned, and how do you free yourself?
• Feel Your Fullness. This principle guides you to think about whether you eat and eat until
you’re uncomfortable and even miserable, and helps you learn why and how to stop eating
when you’re comfortably full.
• Discover the Satisfaction Factor. Just how yummy are your meals? They should be
deliciously satisfying. If they’re not, this principle sets you on the path to more eating
enjoyment.
• Cope with Your Emotions Without Using Food. Is food your best friend or your enemy?
Maybe it’s both. With Intuitive Eating, you’ll find ways to separate your emotions from
your eating.
• Respect Your Body. Is your body your temple, your fortress, or your foe? Here, you’ll learn
to take loving care of your one and only wonderful body.
• Exercise—Feel the Difference. Are you a couch potato or an energizer bunny? Find out
how to make movement and activity a happy part of your life.
• Honor Your Health with Gentle Nutrition. From nutrition to play food—there’s room for it
all. It’s the key to feeling healthier, happier, and guilt-free!
These principles are usually taught in the order listed above. In this book, though, the order
is a bit different, because you’re a bit different. I decided to teach you about the principles in the
order I think will be the most helpful for you, a young person whose body and experiences are
growing and changing.
How to Use This Workbook

As you read this workbook, you’ll learn many new facts and will be offered activities that will
help you explore this new way of thinking and change how you view food and your body.
There are three main ways to accomplish this:
1. You can do your work within the workbook itself. There are spaces after each activity for
your reflections and comments on the exercises.
2. You can also use a notebook to record the thoughts that come up for you while doing the
exercises. This will become the central place to hold your work. If you use a loose-leaf
binder, you’ll be able to insert pages for more writing over time, as well as any checklists
3
or charts you fill out and any drawings or pictures you’d like to add. Your notebook will
become your treasure and your sacred place to return to over and over once you finish
the workbook, and it will store your progress in becoming an intuitive eater. Repeated
practice will help you strengthen the skills you’re learning, and you’ll be able to go back
to your notebook to find the activities any time you need them.
3. On the New Harbinger website—http://www.newharbinger.com/41443—you’ll find

downloadable PDFs of some of the charts and worksheets, which you can print and use to
make as many copies as you need to practice your new skills. Be sure to add them to your
notebook.
This is a wonderful moment for you to learn and practice the habits and attitudes that will
free you to have a happy, healthy lifelong relationship with your body and with food. I hope you
enjoy this journey!
4
chapter 1
What’s Wrong with Dieting?

You’re amazingly lucky if you’ve never thought about going on a diet, because then you’ve never
had that feeling of being deprived of the foods you love or being angry with yourself for not
being able to stay on it. But, if you’re reading this book, it’s likely that you’ve either been on a diet,
thought you should be on one, or know people who have been on diets.
Brooke started dieting when she was thirteen. At first she was super excited—she believed the diet
would help her lose weight, and then her problems would all be solved. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn
out that way. Brooke said, “It wasn’t working for me when I dieted with the goal of getting thin. I
could never stay on it and ended up feeling awful about myself. Why do I always fail at diets? Is
there another way to eat, so I can feel better about myself?”
To begin your journey to becoming an intuitive eater, the very first thing you need to know
about is the first principle of Intuitive Eating—Reject the Diet Mentality. You’ll learn why diets
fail, how to get rid of the diet mentality, and why Intuitive Eating is so liberating and just the cure
that every teen needs to heal from dieting.
chapter 1  What’s Wrong with Dieting?
activity 1  understanding the

problem with diets
for you to know

I have a feeling you’re thinking, “Well, what’s wrong with diets? Why should I reject diet thinking?”
Let’s look at why Brooke’s dieting failed her. Here are some facts about the dangers of dieting
(because you probably just love to be told all the reasons why something isn’t good for you!):
• After restricting on a diet, you can become out of control when eating and feel that you
don’t know how to stop, making you feel helpless and powerless.
• Dieting can cause stress and feelings of failure, and lower your self-esteem and
self-confidence.
• Dieting can lead to eating disorders.
• Dieting can increase social anxiety and wipe out your sense of self-trust.
• Diets reinforce body negativity, rather than promoting body positivity.
• Dieting can slow your metabolism.
• Almost all people who diet eventually can’t stay on the diet and end up gaining back any
weight they lost. And most of them go on to gain even more weight. So, dieting is a sure
way to predict weight gain!
• Basically, dieting will make you miserable!
Doesn’t that get you thinking that dieting is a pretty foolish thing to do? Or you might be
thinking that those problems happen only in weak people and that you have great willpower. But
even the most disciplined people who get their work done on time and don’t get into trouble still
can’t stay on diets.
6
for you to do
If you’ve ever been on a formal diet—like Paleo or Weight Watchers, for example—or even one you’ve created, the fol-
lowing worksheet will help you remember why you started and stopped it, and your feelings while on it and afterward.
Write down your age when you went on your first diet, what type it was, and why you started it. Then, try to remem-
ber how you felt on the diet, how long you were able to stay on it, and why you dropped it. Finally, write about the feel-
ings that came up when you quit it. Continue for any other diets you’ve been on. The first line shows Brooke’s experience.
Age Type of diet Why did you Feelings How long Why did you quit? Feelings afterward
start it? on the diet did you stay
on it?
13 Low carb Wanted to lose Excited, at first, Two weeks. Couldn’t keep Felt like a failure,
weight so I’d then deprived, it up. Started disappointed in
like myself then frustrated. bingeing on myself. Unhappy.
7
more. carbs.
more to do
In order to understand some of the feelings dieting has brought up for you, answer the following
questions.
During or after a diet: Yes No
Have you had big cravings for carbohydrates?
Have you felt out of control when satisfying these cravings?
Have you felt the extreme hunger that happens when your blood sugar drops?
Have you had mood swings?
Have you had trouble sleeping?
Have you felt overly tired?
If you’re a girl, have you missed a period (or more)?
Have you noticed that you’ve lost hair or your hair is thinner?
Do you avoid social situations where people are eating?
If you eat with others, do you compare how much you eat to them?
Are you self-conscious about eating with others?
Have you ever counted calories (or fat grams or carbohydrate grams)?
Do you feel guilty when you eat certain foods?
Do you get distracted by thinking about how much you’ve eaten?
Are you afraid you won’t stop eating?
Do you have “good” and “bad” food lists?
Do you eat when stressed or bored?
Do you eat when angry or lonely?
Do you talk about dieting or food a lot?
Do you avoid getting close to people?
8
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’ll begin to understand the negative effects
dieting has had on you. Write down any thoughts that came to you during this exercise.
activity 2  weighing the pros

and cons of dieting
for you to know

Did you experience any negative feelings when you dieted (or maybe even some positive ones)?
Do you think that dieting has done some harm to you? Making a pro and con list about how
dieting has affected you can help you sort out your feelings and evaluate your experiences.
9
for you to do
In the pros column, write down any benefits you have ever felt that dieting has given you. For
example, maybe it gave you the hope that you would lose weight and then have a perfect life.
Think about any negative effects dieting has had on your life, and list those in the cons column.
For example, “When I’ve been on a diet, I haven’t wanted to go out for pizza with my friends, because I was
afraid I’d lose my willpower and eat the forbidden pizza.” Or, “Every time I’ve been on a diet, I can’t stay on
it for long and feel terrible about myself afterward.”
Pros of dieting Cons of dieting
How many things did you put in the pros column and how many in the cons?
Pros Cons
Which column had more?
10
more to do
As you look over your answers, write your thoughts about how dieting has affected you:
activity 3  feeling the power

of deprivation
for you to know

Have you ever been denied something you really wanted? (Of course you have; you’re human,
aren’t you!) What happens when you want a car but can’t afford one? Or when you have a crush
on someone who doesn’t like you back?
My hunch is that whatever you wanted and couldn’t have has become really big and perfect
and incredibly wonderful in your mind. You’re probably thinking about it all the time and imag-
ining how great your life would be if only you could have it. You’re also probably having some
very difficult feelings about not having it. Am I right?
11
The thoughts and feelings you’re having have everything to do with the concept of depriva-
tion. A psychologist named Abraham Maslow believed that we are driven by our unmet needs. In
other words, we seek what we can’t or don’t have. What do you bet a homeless person is thinking
about? Right—food for the next meal and shelter for the night. The power of deprivation is one of
the main reasons why the instinctual part of you keeps diets from working.
for you to do
In this exercise, think about something you’ve wanted but couldn’t get. Then, write about the feel-
ings this brought up. The first line shows how Brooke answered this question.
What were you deprived of? How did you feel?
Desperately wanted a dog, but my brother I felt sad and envious of my friends who
is allergic so I couldn’t get one. had pets. I was also angry that I couldn’t
fix my brother’s allergies.
12
more to do
A diet is the launching pad for deprivation. Whether the diet tells you not to eat cookies or candy
or even bread, or it says to eat only chicken or fish and no red meat, the minute you hear one of
these rules, all you can think about are the foods you’re not supposed to eat.
Diets also tell you how much to eat. So, even if a diet doesn’t take out any particular food (this
is what Weight Watchers promotes), you’re still going to feel deprivation, because you’re allowed
only a specific amount of certain foods. The minute you hear that you can have only two cookies
or two pieces of bread or one small chicken breast or eighteen points (Weight Watchers, again),
that creeping feeling of not getting to have enough pops right out of your head and into your
mouth. Just thinking about not being able to have as much as you’d like opens the door to those
feelings of deprivation.
Think about the possibility of not getting to have your favorite food or getting only a small
amount of it. Here are some feelings that might come up. Mark the ones that fit for you, and use
the blank lines to add others.
Angry Desirous
Sad Other:
Frustrated Other:
Deprived Other:
If you marked some of the feelings above, write the thoughts you now have about how food depri-
vation might affect you:
13
activity 4  dieting leads to

necessary rebellion
for you to know

I believe that diets are doomed to fail for another powerful, or even more powerful, reason than
deprivation. It’s the concept of rebellion.
Diets are like alien invaders. They find their way into the private place that holds all your
information about hunger, fullness, what you like or don’t like to eat, and how your body feels
after you’ve eaten. It’s normal and common for people to rebel against being told what to do, and
that’s exactly what happens with diets. You’re given rules, which at some point will probably
make you start to feel angry about having to follow them.
Oh, maybe at first, it sounds fun and exciting and even feels like your eating will get under
control if you try the latest diet. In fact, going on a diet that all your friends are trying might even
make you feel accepted and part of the crowd, but eventually you (and, by the way, everyone else)
will start to feel rebellious and want to break these diet rules. You’re bound to go off the diet and
then feel bad about yourself for not being able to stay on it. But going off the diet is the inevitable
result of feeling deprived and rebellious. It’s not because you lack willpower!
The big question is, why do we feel rebellious when we’re given rules and told what to do?
Does it mean that we’re just angry people or that we’re like toddlers who have tantrums?
Well, in a certain way we do keep the feelings of a little kid in us throughout our lives. We do
feel anger and want to tantrum when we’re told no. When we were little, we didn’t worry about
what people thought. We just acted any way we wanted. If we felt angry, we cried or stomped
our feet. We didn’t have words to express difficult feelings. As we got older and began to speak
and notice how people reacted when we screamed and yelled, we learned to put a cover on these
feelings.
The truth is, these emotions are all normal, and all humans (and even cats and dogs) will
feel them. This is because your healthy inner person is supposed to feel like making your own
decisions. This is called autonomy. It means that you’re an individual who isn’t attached by an
umbilical cord the way you were when your mother was pregnant with you. It means that as an
individual, you want to make these decisions without anyone butting in.
14
In fact, your main job as a teenager is to find ways to be your own person. Sometimes this
happens in ways that get you in trouble, like staying out past your curfew or hanging out with
friends your parents don’t like. You may do these things because it’s hard to speak up and say,
“I’m my own person, and I want to live my life the way I want.” Or maybe you do express these
things, and your parents tell you that they’re the bosses, and as long as you’re living in their
house, you’ll do what they say. But your parents are probably not trying to be mean. They likely
set rules for you because they want to protect you from harm, and they’re not sure that you’ll
make wise decisions for yourself. Their job is to notice when you do make wise decisions and,
little by little, let you become an adult. In some homes, unfortunately, no one sits and listens to
you or notices how grown-up you’ve become, which could make you feel very lonely. Sometimes,
it’s really hard being a teenager, isn’t it?
for you to do
Do you remember any times when you rebelled against some rules your parents made? In this
chart, write some of the rebellious acts you found yourself doing and then what the consequences
were:
Rebellious act Consequence
15
How did you feel after rebelling? Maybe you felt sorry about what you did because the con-
sequences outweighed the benefits. Or maybe the powerful feeling you felt was worth the
consequences. Write about these feelings below:
After exploring your feelings about any rebellious experiences you’ve had, you’re ready to
look at the role rebellion may have played if you have dieted.
more to do
Let’s start by looking back at the history of dieting you completed in activity 1 to see some of the
feelings you had when you couldn’t stay on a diet.
Write the feeling below, and then mark whether it was due to deprivation, rebelliousness, or
both:
Feeling Due to Due to Due to both

deprivation rebelliousness
16
What conclusions did you come to about the impact of deprivation and rebellion on your feelings
when diets failed?
activity 5  intuitive eating is

all about autonomy
for you to know

You might think it’s strange that I’m telling you that being rebellious and needing to be autono-
mous is coming from a healthy part of you. But think of it this way—if you easily got sucked into a
group that was doing things that didn’t feel right to you and you couldn’t find a way out, it would
probably show that it’s hard to have your own mind, which isn’t so healthy.
A healthy, autonomous person is able to make decisions that aren’t in reaction to other people
or to please or hurt them. These decisions are rational and well thought out and don’t make you
feel bad about yourself afterward. That rebellious part of you is just longing to finally be able to
make some decisions for yourself!
What is so cool about intuitive eating versus dieting is that with dieting, you’re trying to obey
other people’s rules, and you’re ultimately going to become rebellious. Eating intuitively, you get
to make all your own decisions about eating, based on what your body is telling you. You are
the only one in the world who knows what you like to eat, when you’re hungry, when you’re full,
and how your body feels after eating a particular food. You don’t have to wait to become an adult
to listen to your inner wisdom about eating. At least this is one area where no one has a right to
make decisions for you. In fact, it may be the only area in which you can be completely autono-
mous. You just need to be mindful so that you can hear your own words of wisdom.
17
for you to do
Write about how it might feel to be autonomous and be the expert on your eating.
activity 6  getting rid of the

diet mentality
for you to know

Here are some actions that will help you start to become an intuitive eater:
• Get rid of your scale, or ask your parents to get rid of the scale in the house. Weigh-
ing yourself only gives power to the numbers on the scale, instead of to what your body
knows about hunger and what satisfies your taste buds.
• Throw away any diet apps on your phone, like the ones that tell you the calories in foods
or the fat or carb grams or how many calories you’re burning when you exercise. Once
again, they’re an outside force that can begin to control you. This is all about trusting that
your body knows how much you need. The numbers mean nothing compared to your
body’s inner smarts.
• Forget about measuring spoons or cups. As an intuitive eater, the only time you would
ever need these is if you’re cooking. Otherwise, they are simply diet tools!
18
• Most important, be kind to yourself. It isn’t your fault that you’ve been sucked into diets
and all their magical promises. You’ve been vulnerable to this as a way to deal with parts
of your life that may be difficult to face. The most powerful word to use here is compas-
sion. The more self-compassion you have, the lighter and happier you’ll feel.
for you to do
List the tools you’re willing to practice:
Which tool do you want to start with?
After you’ve conquered this tool, pick another when you’re ready, until you’ve gone through the
list. Are there others you think would help you?
Remember, listen to your inner wisdom, and come from the inside out, not the outside in!
Since this may be the only part of your life where you’re fully in charge, take it over in order to
help you feel strong and independent. Isn’t that what you’re truly seeking?
19
chapter 2
Savor and Be Satisfied!

After reading Chapter 1, I hope you’re getting more pumped up about learning to be an intuitive
eater. As you’re trying to cross the threshold into intuitive eating, you may still have one little toe
holding the door open to the world of dieting. This chapter is going to help you pull your whole
foot into this new way of eating and slam that door forever, so dieting can never hurt you again.
Haley was very rigid in her eating. She said, “I was eating only clean foods—not the ones that
hadn’t fallen on the floor, but the ones I decided were the ‘right’ foods to eat—and never felt
satisfied. I’m really getting sick of this depriving way of eating and wish that food could be more
than fuel in your tank—I’d love to have some satisfaction when eating, too!”
When I used to diet, I never actually enjoyed my food. I never got to eat what I really wanted—
it was always what I thought I should eat. Satisfaction in eating had completely flown out the door,
and eating became simply about being “good” and staying on the diet. In this chapter, you’ll learn
another principle of Intuitive Eating: Discover the Satisfaction Factor. You’ll explore the best way
to find the most satisfying foods to eat and the best environment for your eating experience.
chapter 2  Savor and Be Satisfied!
activity 7  what needs to change?
for you to know

Have you ever thought about why people make changes in their lives—say, deciding to get out of
some friendships or change the way they dress? Change can be really scary, and a lot of people
resist it. We get very used to doing the same thing the same way, because it’s what we know and
what feels comfortable. But often we start to get that feeling that whatever it is we’re doing just
isn’t really working for us anymore. You may have picked up this book because you were feeling
shaky about your relationship with food or were sick of dieting.
To take the risk of making any significant change in your life, you have to be motivated to
find something better. So, what is it that’s going to finally help you shut the door on dieting and
land feet first in the world of intuitive eating? I believe that the hook that will pull you through is
the promise of getting true pleasure and satisfaction in eating. Who wouldn’t want that? Intuitive
eating is actually founded on this promise, while diets prevent it!
for you to do
List the reasons you might want to change your relationship with food. Haley’s first reason is: “I
need to find a way to enjoy food again!”
22
What feelings do you notice when you think about having more satisfying meals? Are you skepti-
cal? Hopeful? Excited? Write about that here or in your journal.
activity 8  choosing the foods

you crave
for you to know

When people can’t get or won’t let themselves have the food they’re really craving, they’re left
feeling disappointed. They may be physically full, but they begin to crave something else, looking
for the satisfaction they didn’t get from the wrong food. Rather than searching the cupboards
afterward, getting the food you truly crave will lead you to a delicious, rewarding meal and a
feeling of completeness.
23
for you to do
Think about a food you’re particularly craving. Name it here:
If you’re able to get that food, after eating it, think about the pleasure it gave you. Describe what
that felt like:
If you weren’t able to get the food you really wanted, did you eat something else instead? If so,
how satisfying was it?
Very Just okay Not at all
How did you feel and what did you do after eating this substitute food? Perhaps you felt disap-
pointed and went on to get something else to eat? Write about your experience here:
24
activity 9  why dieting is no fun
for you to know

If you’ve dieted, you’ve probably noticed that dieting takes away the pleasure of eating. This is
mostly because you don’t get to choose what you really want to eat. You’re eating what the diet
tells you to eat and you’re forbidden from other foods. Only you know what foods truly please
you—no diet can predict that! If you break the diet to eat what you’re actually craving, whatever
that is can’t be very satisfying because you’re so ridden with guilt for eating a forbidden food.
Pleasure and guilt are two feelings that don’t work well together!
for you to do
Think about the times you’ve dieted or held food restrictions. Do you remember whether you
truly enjoyed your meals? On the lines that follow, write about whether you were satisfied when
eating in this way, and why or why not.
25
If you’ve come to the conclusion that dieting has taken the satisfaction out of eating for you,
you can begin to feel the excitement of finding true eating pleasure.
Or not!
Do you have any thoughts or feelings about why you shouldn’t be allowed to have meal satis-
faction? If you have even a tiny feeling about this, it might be a good idea to talk to someone you
trust about whether you feel worthy of receiving pleasure in life.
On the other hand, if you’re completely with it on getting pleasure in your meals, there might
be other barriers to letting satisfaction in. Perhaps you’re thinking that if you really enjoy food,
you might never want to stop eating? (Don’t worry, we’ll get to that in the next chapter.) Whatever
fears or doubts you have will begin to disappear after doing the exercises in this and other chap-
ters, and you’ll be ready to take that leap into intuitive eating, because food is about to become one
of the best pleasures in your life!
activity 10  finding a sense

of satisfaction
for you to know

How do you decide what to eat when you’re feeling hungry? Do you just go with the first thing
that comes to your mind? Do you eat whatever is around? Do you choose your foods based on
what you think you “should” be eating? Or do you eat what really sounds good?
To make eating more satisfying, you’ll be exploring these various mouth and body sensations
in this activity and the ones that follow:
taste appearance
texture body feel
temperature staying power
aroma
26
for you to do
In this exercise, you’ll gather some feedback from your own body for a couple of these sensations.
You’ll get your best answers if you’re mildly hungry.
The first sense to explore is taste. Put samples of foods on a plate to represent the five main
tastes: sweet, salty, bitter, sour, and umami (savory or meaty); for example, a cookie, saltine cracker,
radish, pickle, and piece of cooked hamburger.
Ask yourself, What taste does my tongue really want?
Here’s a chart Haley used to explore taste:
What sense am I exploring? I’m exploring what the taste buds on my tongue really
want.
Which flavor did I pick? Sweet
Which food did I sample? A cookie
Was the taste pleasant? Yes
Did it have the right amount It was actually too sweet for me.
of sweetness?
Did it satisfy me? Almost—it would have been perfect if it were a little less
sweet.
27
Now you try it. You can also download a copy to print at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443:
What sense am I exploring? Taste
Which flavor did I pick?
Which food did I sample?
Was the taste pleasant?
Did it have the right amount

of ?
(Insert the flavor you picked.)
Did it satisfy me?
more to do
Here’s a short exercise to help you start to explore texture. Go to http://www.newharbinger.
com/41443 once again, and you’ll find charts you can print and fill out to explore as many textures
and other sensations as you like, including ones for temperature and aroma.
28
Draw a line from the following foods to their predominant texture (or textures):
Food Texture
peanut butter soft (gushy)
ice cream crunchy
salad lumpy
steak smooth
tofu silky smooth
bagel chewy
mashed potatoes sticky
activity 11  appearance can

be appealing
for you to know

Have you seen any food commercials or cooking shows on television? Or maybe you’ve looked at
food ads in magazines? The people who create these usually hire food stylists to set up the foods
and food photographers to take photos of them, in order to make their appearance particularly
appealing. Even someone posting a picture of food on Instagram will set it up to look inviting.
They do this because they know that how the food looks can trigger someone’s taste buds and
desire to eat it.
29
for you to do
Cut out some pictures of food from magazines, or check out images of food on the internet, and
print a few of them in color. (You might want to staple or glue them to a page in your notebook.)
You can also take a picture on your phone of some of the meals you eat.
Which of the pictures look especially appealing to you?
What about them makes them look appealing?
Does your mouth start to water when you see a particular picture? Describe this picture:
Is there a picture that doesn’t look appetizing? Why?
more to do
At http://www.newharbinger.com/41443, you’ll find a blank chart you can use repeatedly to
explore different food appearances, such as color, size, height, and arrangement. First, check out
the one Haley filled out:
30
What sense am I exploring? Appearance

Which appearance did I pick? Varied colors
Which foods did I choose? Spaghetti with red sauce and broccoli
Was the appearance pleasant? Yes
Did it have the right amount of color Yes
variety?
Did it satisfy me? Yes
Now it’s your turn. Fill out the blank chart to decide whether the appearance of food is an
important part of deciding what you want to eat.
What sense am I exploring?
Which appearance did I pick?
Which foods did I choose?
Was the appearance pleasant?
Did it have the right amount

of
(insert the appearance you picked)?
Did it satisfy me?
31
activity 12  feeling body

satisfaction
for you to know

The sensations of taste, texture, temperature, aroma, and appearance are all concentrated in your
head. How your body feels, based on what you eat and what kind of staying power your food has,
is also important to consider.
In thinking about how your body feels after different types of food or meals, one of the
thoughts you might ponder is how long your body is satisfied after eating. There’s that word
“satisfied” again! You’re beginning to see that satisfaction includes your tongue, your mind, and
your body and how the different sensory aspects of food can bring you more or less satisfaction.
Staying present and paying attention to all these aspects when you eat will allow you to savor
your food in this quest.
for you to do
Download two more charts at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443 and fill them out to experi-
ment with how certain foods make you feel and what their staying power is.
32
activity 13  planning a

satisfying meal
for you to know

In searching for meal satisfaction, think about all your senses when you’re trying to decide what
to eat. Your body will offer a wealth of information if you practice tuning into its sensory mes-
sages about food.
for you to do
To help you pull it all together, ask the following questions to find a truly satisfying meal.
It’s best if you do this when you are beginning to feel some hunger.
What taste does my tongue

want to experience?
What texture do I want to feel

in my mouth?
Which temperature would feel

right?
What aroma will be appealing

to me?
How do I want my food to look?
33
How will my stomach feel after

eating this meal?
How long will my meal keep

me satisfied before I get hungry
again?
What foods have you chosen?
Shortly after you begin eating, check in to see if the food meets your expectations. Describe the
sensations you’re experiencing.
Halfway through your meal, check in again to see if the meal still feels satisfying to all your
senses. (Note: Scientists have found that the pleasantness of the sensory aspects of food actually
begins to diminish after about two minutes of eating each food! Shocking, huh? This is called
sensory-specific satiety.)
After you’re finished, rate your satisfaction level on a scale of 1–5, with 1 being the least satis-
fying and 5 being the most.
Use these questions as often as you can when you’re thinking about what to eat. At http://
www.newharbinger.com/41443, you’ll find a blank copy of the chart from this activity. It would
be helpful to print as many copies as you like and save them in your notebook after you fill them
out, so you can look back at them until this becomes automatic for you.
34
activity 14  exploring your eating

environment: distractions and speed
for you to know

Now that you’ve become more conscious about picking just the right food(s) that will satisfy you,
it’s time to look at some other pieces of the satisfaction puzzle—the best ways to set up your eating
environment to help maximize this satisfaction. The first is attention—and its enemy, distraction!
The second is how fast or slowly you eat. Inhaling your food will keep you from feeling the
pleasure of your meal. Eating slowly will help you pay attention to all your senses and savor your
meal. If you gobble it down, you won’t get a chance to notice how good it tastes or whether the
texture feels right in your mouth. One of the factors that can lead to fast eating is being in a big
hurry and trying to “get through” eating. Sometimes, people don’t want to take the time to focus
on their meal, and instead, eat quickly, without real enjoyment. Eating in front of the fridge or
standing over the sink means you’re not letting yourself relax and pay attention to the sensory
qualities of your food.
for you to do
The fewer distractions you have while eating, the more attention you’ll give to your meals. Here
are some distractions that can take away eating pleasure. Check the ones you sometimes do while
eating:
Talking on the phone Reading a book or magazine
Watching TV Surfing the internet
Being on social media Driving a car
Doing homework
35
Are there any others?
Which distractions are you willing to stop in order to find more meal satisfaction?
more to do
The next time you eat, keep your speed in mind. If you’re a speed eater, try slowing down, and
notice whether you get more satisfaction by being able to pay attention to all the sensory qualities
of the food. If you’re a slowpoke, you may find that the meal is less satisfying as it sits on your
plate and gets cold.
What kind of eater are you most of the time?
Speed eater Moderate eater Slowpoke
How often do you eat in front of the fridge, over the sink, standing up, or on your way from one
place to another?
Rarely Sometimes Often
36
Where do you tend to do this kind of eating, and when?
When people eat this way, they’re usually rushed, and their focus is on anything but the experi-
ence of eating. If that’s you, what could you do to change some habits that deprive you of satisfac-
tion? For example, even if you can’t get up earlier for breakfast, could you sit down while eating,
instead of standing up?

environment: hunger and emotion
for you to know

Would you ever consider eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right before you go to your
favorite restaurant for dinner? Probably not, because you know intuitively that eating that sand-
wich will spoil your enjoyment of your meal. And have you experienced going into a restaurant
when you haven’t eaten all day? If so, when the food arrives, you can’t get it into your mouth fast
enough!
Just as your level of hunger will affect how satisfying your meal is, what you’re feeling emo-
tionally can also have a big impact. Emotions and eating are deeply connected. Eating to push
away or soothe feelings, rather than for hunger, might rob you of any chance to truly notice how
wonderful your food can be.
37
for you to do
We’ll talk more about hunger in a future chapter, but for now, start noticing: do you get more sat-
isfaction from a meal if you’re ravenous? Moderately hungry? Not hungry at all?
Pick a meal to practice the following exercise:
What foods are in your meal?
How hungry are you?
Ravenous Moderately hungry Not hungry
When you’ve finished eating, ask yourself: was the meal satisfying?
Yes No
Reflect on whether your meal was as satisfying as you had hoped, and why (or why not):
If you noticed that you got more satisfaction by starting your meal when you were moderately
hungry, remember to wait to eat until you feel this hunger level, but not too long that you feel so
empty that you worry there can’t be enough food to fill this bottomless pit!
38
more to do
We’re going to have a whole chapter to explore emotional eating, but since it’s part of your envi-
ronment, we’ll check in about it here, too.
Do you think that you may sometimes be an emotional eater? If so, check the emotions that
might make you want to eat when you’re not hungry:
Boredom
Loneliness
Anxiety
Anger
Fear
Sadness
Any others?
If you’ve found that you do eat emotionally at times, stay tuned for tools to change this later
in this workbook.
39

environment: conflict and chaos
for you to know

For many people, nothing kills enjoyment in a meal more than trying to eat when there’s conflict
going on—whether you’re arguing with someone, or others near you are arguing.
For others, the state of their surroundings while eating can also make a difference in how
satisfying their meal is. Tidy, pretty, peaceful surroundings increase satisfaction, while chaos and
mess make mealtimes miserable.
for you to do
If you’ve ever experienced trying to eat in a room full of anger and argument, describe it here.
Consider what feelings you had. How do you think they affected your meal satisfaction?
40
Can you think of some ways to avoid these situations in the future or to find some inner calm
while in the midst of them? For example, could you put your food in the fridge until there’s peace
again in your world?
If there’s no way to avoid the conflict that surrounds you, try closing your eyes and taking a few
deep breaths before eating. It will help quiet your mind and body and distance you from the con-
flict. At school, could you find a more peaceful place to eat than the loud cafeteria?
more to do
Imagine sitting down to eat your dinner at a table that has a nice placemat, pretty dishes, and
some space to spread out. How does that sound to you?
Now, imagine throwing a bunch of papers all over the table and putting a paper towel under your
dish instead of a placemat. Instead of nice silverware, picture a plastic fork with a broken prong
next to your plate, and, oh, to make it even more chaotic, imagine some construction noise next
door. How satisfying do you think your meal would be under these conditions?
41
Eating in a pleasant space with some favorite music playing or simply in a quiet room can give
you a much better chance of having a satisfying eating experience. Here are some ideas to help
you achieve these goals:
• If it feels comfortable for you, let your family know that you’d like their help in making
meals more enjoyable.
• Offer to help by setting the table in a way that looks good to you.
• Ask if it would be okay to put some music on while eating.
• At school, try to find a quiet corner of the cafeteria to eat lunch with a good friend.
• If you’re eating alone, put your headset on and listen to music that calms you.
How could you change your eating environment to have more pleasurable meals?
Home:
School:
In other places:
42
activity 17  satisfaction:

seeing the big picture
for you to know

It’s your right to have satisfaction in your eating and to explore ways to find it. The way I see it, sat-
isfaction is the driving force of intuitive eating. If you’ve got your eye on satisfaction, you’ll want
to pick the foods you most enjoy and savor them by staying present to all their sensory qualities.
You’ll pay attention to eating when you’re moderately hungry and, if you can, when you’re emo-
tionally calm. And if your environment is set up in an appealing way, you’ve hit the bull’s-eye of
pleasurable eating.
for you to do
Now it’s time for you to take all the pieces of the puzzle and put them together, so that you can
create meals and an environment that give you the most pleasure and satisfaction in your eating
world.
Use the following worksheet to rate the factors that can either give you the most satisfaction
while eating or take it away. The next time you sit down to eat a meal, evaluate any of the envi-
ronmental factors listed below that apply. Then circle the word that mostly describes your experi-
ence. Finally, rate your satisfaction on a scale of 1–5, with 1 being a very unsatisfying meal, and
5 meaning that your meal has put a happy smile on your face! Use the final column to add any
comments.
43
Satisfaction factors Your Satisfaction Comments

experience rating
(Scale of 1–5)
Speed of eating Fast

Medium
Slow
Staying present Yes or No
Eating when distracted Yes or No
Eating when ravenous Yes or No
Eating when not Yes or No

hungry
Eating when Yes or No

moderately hungry
Eating with tension in Yes or No

the room
Eating in peace Yes or No
Eating in a chaotic Yes or No

space
Eating in a pleasant Yes or No

space
Standing while eating Yes or No
44
Sitting while eating Yes or No
Eating with negative Yes or No

emotions
Eating when feeling Yes or No

good
Which factors gave you the highest satisfaction ratings?
Which had the lowest ratings?
Which of the low-scoring factors would you like to focus on changing, and what are the first steps
you can take toward reaching this goal?
You can download this chart at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443 to use over and over to
explore all the environmental factors that affect a meal.
45
more to do
Now that you’ve reviewed your eating environment, take a moment to think about all the
sensations you’ve explored that make eating such an enjoyable part of your life. Number these
sensations from 1 to 7 in the order that’s most important to you. For example, some people think
taste is the number one sensation that makes or breaks their meals. For others, it’s whether their
meal will give them enough energy to get through a sport or activity and not leave them feeling
starved afterward.
Sensation Order of importance (1–7)
Taste
Texture
Temperature
Aroma
Appearance
Body feel
Staying power
Describe the most interesting or newest insight you discovered by doing the activities in this
chapter.
46
chapter 3
Your License to Eat

What You Like
Getting your first driver’s license has to rank as one of the most liberating experiences of your life.
A world of freedom suddenly opens up to you when you don’t have to depend on someone always
driving you around. In a similar way, giving yourself license to eat whatever you like, without
“good” and “bad” foods or food rules, will free up your relationship with food and release you
from Food Jail.
Laura, a high school student who was looking for this freedom, said, “When I went to camp last
summer, I never let myself eat the fun foods all my friends were eating. I always felt deprived, but
I never gave in because I wanted to be healthy. When I came home, I couldn’t stop eating the foods
I didn’t allow myself that summer. I want to work on throwing out all my forbidden-food ideas and
see if that helps me stop overeating. I want to feel free!”
Laura was living by a set of rules she created for herself. She, like you, has been bombarded
by messages about when and how much to eat, about good foods and bad foods, about foods that
will help you live forever and those that could kill you tomorrow, about foods that will help you
chapter 3  Your License to Eat What You Like
get the body you want and those that will make you hate your body and yourself. These messages
can lead to food rules that can make you feel trapped and feel as if you’re living in Food Jail.
We often follow rules because we don’t want to do the wrong thing or get into trouble, but cre-
ating rules about food and eating actually makes no sense. The next principle of Intuitive Eating is
called Make Peace with Food, and you’ll learn how to get rid of your food rules and have the same
emotional reaction to eating gummy bears or carrots. Yes, it’s possible—and I’ll show you how!
activity 18  identifying your

food rules
for you to know

The only way you’ll be able to make peace with food is to identify the food rules you’ve been car-
rying around so that you can ultimately throw them all out.
Some of the rules people try to live by include:
• Don’t eat carbs because they’re fattening.
• Don’t eat anything after six p.m.
• Don’t mix protein with carbs.
I’m sure you’ve noticed the one word that’s in all these examples. Right—it’s “don’t”! As you
learned in the first chapter, any time we’re given rules, it’s our natural tendency to feel rebellious
about being told what to do.
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for you to do
First, let’s get a handle on your food rules. For each rule in the table that follows, put an X under
“Yes” or “No.” Use the empty boxes to add any of your own personal rules. (Laura put an X by
numbers 3, 6, and 13.)
Yes No Food rules
1. I have rules about the times that I eat.
2. I don’t allow myself to eat certain foods.
3. I eat certain foods only when I’m with friends who are eating them.
4. I have rules around what beverages I drink.
5. I let myself have sweets only on special occasions.
6. I don’t let myself eat fried foods.
7. I often compare what I eat to what others eat.
8. I throw out my food rules on weekends.
9. I don’t let myself snack between meals.
10. I try to wait as long as I can before eating anything after I get up.
11. I eat very little during the day so I can eat more at night.
12. I let myself eat a forbidden food only if I exercise that day.
13. I eat only foods that I think are healthy.
14. I have rules about the amounts of foods I let myself eat.
15. I count calories and allow myself only a certain number each day.
16. I count fat or carb grams and have a rule about how many I should eat each day.
17.
18.
19.
20.
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If you follow any food rule, describe how you follow it, how it affects you, and how you feel
about it. For example, Steve, another high school student, follows Rule 9—I don’t let myself snack
between meals. Here’s what he wrote: “I come home from school and start my homework, but sometimes
I get so hungry that I can’t concentrate and start daydreaming until dinner. I feel good that I’m keeping my
rule, but, boy, do I feel lousy, and once I start eating dinner, there’s never enough food to fill me up.”
Food rule:
How do you follow it?
How does this affect you?
How do you feel about holding on to this food rule?
Continue in your notebook with the rest of your food rules.
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activity 19  recognizing where

your food rules come from
for you to know

Any food rules that drive your eating had to come from somewhere, because you weren’t born
with them! Think about where they may have started. Did your family have a lot of rules? Are you
listening to your friends’ rules? Do you read posts on social media that tell you what to eat, how
much to eat, or even when to eat?
Perhaps in your family you were told to finish everything on your plate, or you were told that
you couldn’t have dessert until you finished your meal or only on the weekends. Maybe your
friends talk about foods they avoid in order to lose weight. Or are you following people who post
about “clean eating,” or reading about celebrities’ food rules?
for you to do
This worksheet will help you find the source of your food rules. Write a food rule you hold in the
first column. Then put an X in the column that describes what or who influenced this rule. Con-
tinue with other rules and mark their source. The first row shows Laura’s responses.
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Food rule Influence
Family Friends Social Television Other

media or or movies source
magazines
I let myself have sweets only X X X

on special occasions.
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more to do
Take one of the food rules you identified above. Use the space below to write about the influences
that have prompted your food rule and how you feel about it.
In your notebook, do this exploration of your other food rules.
53
activity 20  breaking your food

rules—and letting them go
for you to know

You now know that you weren’t born with your food rules, that they were influenced by outside
sources, and that the healthy part of you is bound to reject them. It doesn’t matter whether you
hold them as part of a diet or for health reasons; food rules will ultimately fail because they’re
not aligned with your inner world. No baby has a rule that says, “I’ll drink only eight ounces of
milk and will wait four hours before I cry for more.” No way! That baby goes by innate signals of
hunger and fullness in order to begin and stop eating.
There is nothing about food rules that will make you happy. They’ll only make you feel resent-
ful or deprived and ultimately bad about yourself. Letting go of them is your first step toward
eating freedom.
for you to do
In the space below, write down some of your food rules you’ve broken and how you felt afterward.
Laura’s example is in the first row. If you need more space, take this activity to your notebook.
54
Broken food rule How you felt after breaking it
I let myself have sweets only on special When I couldn’t resist sweets at friends’
occasions. houses or at school, I felt like a failure.
more to do
Even if they sound good or wise or healthy, all food rules keep you from tuning into your intui-
tive wisdom about eating. If you maintain your old food rules or make new ones, they’re bound
to fail. So, the first step in making peace with food is to throw your rules out the window.
55
Using the list of food rules you identified in activity 18, write down any you might be willing to
let go:
What thoughts and feelings come up when you think about releasing each of these rules? (Take it
to your notebook if you need more space.)
You’ve learned why keeping food rules just doesn’t make sense, but sometimes it’s really hard
to let them go. Do you have any fears that might keep you from breaking free? Here are some
common fears that teens (and adults, too) carry around:
“If I stop following rules and just let myself eat whatever I want, I’ll never stop eating it.”
“If I eat whatever I want, I’ll only choose junk food.”
“If I eat what I want and my friends are following rules, I won’t fit in.”
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List any fears you have that you think may be reinforcing your food rules:
In the next activities, you’ll learn some reasons why food fears are unfounded.
activity 21  understanding

habituation
for you to know

Have you ever imagined spending time with someone who seems beyond your reach, and then
your dream comes true? At first you feel thrilled, but my hunch is that after a few months, or
maybe even a few weeks, the excitement burns out. And maybe after you get to know them, you
don’t even like them at all! If this sounds familiar, you’ve experienced habituation—the tendency
our brains have to want less of a thing, the more of it we have.
The same goes for food. The mere thought of any food you’ve forbidden can make you feel
super excited. But once you have full permission to eat it whenever you want, forever, it loses the
thrill, and you can actually get sick of it. That happened with a client of mine who tried this out
with grilled cheese sandwiches. She committed to having one a day for a week. The following
week, I asked how it went. Instead of being in bliss, she said that after the third day, she couldn’t
even look at another grilled cheese!
57
for you to do
In the chart that follows, list some of your forbidden foods in the first column. Then give yourself
permission to eat as much of one of them as you want each day for a week. (In the next chapter,
we’ll talk about what to do if your parents give you flak about your eating. If they do, for the time
being, just tell them that it’s an exercise you’ve been asked to do in your workbook.) In the second
column, rate how amazing the food tasted on the first bite, with 5 being super incredible. In the
last column, note how long it took for the excitement to wear off and the food to taste ordinary.
But before you begin, there’s one very important caution to keep in mind. If you haven’t actu-
ally given yourself full permission to eat this food forever and plan to forbid it again in the future,
the experience will backfire. Even the tiniest thought of future deprivation will prevent habitua-
tion from happening. You have to be fully committed to permanently legalizing this food for the
excitement to fade away and the food to become just an ordinary part of your life.
Previously How amazing was How many

forbidden food the first bite? days before the
excitement began
(Scale of 1–5)
to wear off?
58
Pick one of the forbidden foods you allowed yourself to eat. When you first bit into it, how excited
were you to eat it and how amazing did it taste?
Describe your experience throughout the week. When did habituation start to set in? For example,
did you notice that the thrill started to wear off after three days? Or did it take longer (or shorter)
for this to happen?
Continue this exercise with each of the foods you listed. Understanding habituation will help
you trust that it’s unfounded that you’ll never stop eating any particular food. In fact, you may
soon get sick of it!
Note: When you first begin to give yourself license to eat what you like, you may find that you
eat more of the foods you used to forbid, and you might eat them more often. For a while, that is!
Just the whole idea of having this kind of freedom can be very exhilarating, but just like the excite-
ment of each food will wear off, so will the excitement of having this freedom. It will become just
a regular part of your eating life.
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activity 22  tracking what you

eat for a week
for you to know

“If I eat whatever I want, I’ll choose only junk food” is a common food fear. First of all, we’re going
to throw the term “junk food” right in the garbage can where it belongs—the term that is, not the
food! To me, there’s no such thing as junk food. I like to call it “play food,” and I’ll talk more about
my reasons for that in a later chapter.
Scientists who have studied toddlers’ eating habits have found that if they are given a wide
variety of foods—very nutritious foods, along with play foods—within a week, they’ll eat many
different types of foods and get all the nutrition they need. They might eat a lot of macaroni and
cheese one day and want tons of strawberries and carrots the next.
for you to do
Be your own scientist. For a week, collect data on what you eat. You’ll find a sample food record
below followed by a blank chart. You can copy the blank chart or at http://www.newharbinger.
com/41443, you’ll find a chart you can download. For one week, write down everything you eat
and drink each day. Note the time you eat, and use general amounts (for example, a medium
burger rather than a six-ounce burger) and as many food categories per meal as needed. (You’ll
learn more about these food categories in the nutrition chapter.)
Here are some examples of foods within various categories:
• Proteins—meat, poultry, fish, shellfish, beans, nuts, eggs, dairy
• Carbohydrates—bread, cereal, pasta, popcorn, potatoes, cookies, rice, sweet potatoes
• Fats—butter, oil, salad dressing, avocado, mayonnaise, cream
• Fruits and vegetables—apple, orange, banana, grapes, fruit juice, salad, carrots, broccoli
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• Dairy—milk, yogurt, cheese, ice cream, frozen yogurt
• Play foods—chips, fries, cookies, candy, cake, donuts, soda
• Beverages—water, coffee, milk, tea
Time Food and drink Amount (approximate) Category
7:00 a.m. Cheerios and milk Medium bowl Carbs, protein, dairy,
Orange juice One small glass fruit
10:00 Power bar One Protein, carbs, fat

a.m.
12:00 Turkey sandwich on Two slices of bread Carbs, protein, fat,

p.m. whole wheat bread with A few slices of turkey fruit, play food,
mayo beverage
Small bag of chips
Chips
Medium apple
Apple
One bottle
Water
3:00 p.m. String cheese One cheese Protein, carbs, fat,

Grapes Bunch of grapes dairy, fruit, play food
Chocolate chip cookies Two medium cookies

Milk One medium glass
5:00 p.m. Fruit smoothie Large glass Protein, fruit
7:30 p.m. Salad Medium bowl Protein, carbs, fat,

Cheeseburger with bun Medium burger, one dairy, vegetables
Broccoli bun
Two stalks broccoli
10:00 Ice cream Two medium scoops Protein, fat, dairy

p.m.
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Time Food and drink Amount (approximate) Category
62
At the end of the week, list the foods you ate within each category in the first column of the
chart that follows. Put a mark in the second column every time you ate a food in each category.
In the last column, total the servings of food per category. When Laura filled out the chart, she
found that she ate chicken three times, red meat twice, turkey four times, fish once, beans once,
eggs three times, and cheese five times. When she added up her protein foods, she found that she
had eaten nineteen servings of protein in a week.
Foods you ate in each category How many times? How many total
servings in the
week?
Proteins
Carbohydrates
Fats
Fruits and vegetables
Dairy
Play foods
Beverages
Total
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Did you eat something from each of the food groups mentioned above?
If not, which was missing?
Did you find that you ate multiple servings from many of the food groups?
Which groups were these?
Were there any groups where you’d like to add more foods?
Which are these?
Can you conclude that you ate a variety of foods during the week?
If so, it’s likely that you’ve made peace with all foods.
64
activity 23  food rules and friends
for you to know

It’s always hard to be the maverick—the one who does what feels personally right and doesn’t
always get led by the crowd. You may share this common fear mentioned earlier: “If I eat what I
want and my friends are following rules, I won’t fit in.”
for you to do
Name some of the ways you can fit in with your friends that don’t include food; for example,
wearing some of the same styles of clothes or listening to the same bands.
Being an intuitive eater is unique in a world of food rules, dieting, and judgment about size
or shape. It’s also a way to feel independent, knowing that you have a mind of your own. Randy
hangs out with friends from his baseball team on weekends and some weeknights. Some of his
friends live on pizza, fries, and sodas when they’re not home, but he’s found that others talk “diet
talk” they’ve learned from their trainer. The diet-talk guys think they should eat only oatmeal,
egg whites, chicken breasts, fruits, and veggies. Sometimes, Randy feels that he doesn’t fit into
either group. He loves pizza and play food, but when he goes out with the pizza guys too often, he
misses some of the more nutritious foods he likes. When he’s out with the diet-talk guys, he feels
self-conscious if he orders a burger and fries.
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In the lines below, write about your experience of wanting to go along with your friends, but
knowing that it doesn’t fit into your ideas about eating. Identify any people, places, or situations
that were particularly challenging. If there were any food rules that others followed, how did that
affect you?
The truth is that real friends will like you, even if you don’t do exactly what they do. If you’re
true to your taste buds and stop judging foods, the pleasure you’ll find in eating will outweigh the
feelings of not fitting in. You’re likely to find that your friends don’t really care what you eat, and
you might even end up having a positive influence on freeing them from their food rules. And the
biggest benefit is less stress around eating and way more pleasure!
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activity 24  exploring your

favorite foods
for you to know

I once asked a client what her favorite foods were. There was stunned silence for a long time. She
finally said, “I haven’t a clue about what foods I like. I only know which I shouldn’t eat, because
I was always told they were bad. And if I ever broke down and ate any of them, I couldn’t stop
eating, because I felt so guilty and just knew I would never let myself eat them again.”
Her assignment was to spend a week paying attention to the foods she actually liked and to
eat them with full permission. When she returned, she said that she had found only nine foods
she really liked, and her favorite was Wonder Bread (a bread that starts out really soft, can be
rolled up in a ball, getting sticky and kind of hard). This didn’t sound very exciting to me, but
everyone has a right to a favorite. She actually spent a couple of days eating only Wonder Bread!
When I asked her how that was for her, she said, “I felt really crappy and realized that I needed
some protein!” That discovery was her first moment of intuitive eating, and she loved the freedom
she felt.
for you to do
Explore your favorite foods, without judgment or guilt. In the first column, list all your favorite
foods. In the next column, put a check by the ones you’d like to eat the next time you’re hungry.
After you’ve eaten the food, write about how this experience turned out. For example,
Did you actually enjoy the food?
Did it satisfy your taste buds and your body?
Did you have any lingering feelings of judgment or guilt?
Will you eat this food whenever you crave it?
Were you disappointed?
67
In the first row, you’ll see what Laura’s experience was when she tried this exercise.
Favorite foods  How was your experience?
Potato chips ✓ They were yummy at first, but after I kept eating
them, I kind of got sick of them. Maybe they’d
taste good with a sandwich next time I want them,
rather than eating them by themselves.
At the end of this exercise, you might find that some of the foods you thought you loved (and
maybe didn’t allow yourself to eat very often) turned out to be disappointing. Others might truly
be your favorites. The more you stay present while tasting your food, the better your opportunity
to keep the foods you love and ditch the ones you don’t.
And one last thing—stay aware of whether you’re eating certain foods just to prove to your-
self that you can. I promise—your license will never be revoked!
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chapter 4
Banishing the Food Police

You may still have some negative food thoughts despite all the work you’ve done on food rules
and where they came from. These thoughts are being spoken by an old voice that has taken
residence in your mind. You can think of this voice as coming from something called the “Food
Police,” who just love to catch you and make you feel bad about your eating or your body.
Ben told me, “My parents notice every bite of food I put in my mouth. There are only ‘healthy’ foods
in my house, and when we go to a restaurant, they don’t let me order fries or dessert. I feel like I’m
in Food Jail, and they’re the Food Police. I’m so frustrated!”
Another principle of Intuitive Eating is called Challenge the Food Police. In this chapter, you’ll
learn about the ways the Food Police make you feel bad and try to keep you in Food Jail, and how
to rid your life of them forever!
chapter 4  Banishing the Food Police
activity 25  spotting the

food police
for you to know

For some unexplainable reason, people seem to think it’s okay to make comments about others’
size, shape, or what they eat. If you have younger siblings, you may have heard people remarking
about their bodies or eating when they were babies. Here are some of them:
• “What an adorable roly-poly baby!”
• “Oh, she’s so tiny—doesn’t she eat much?”
• “Wow, that baby can eat a lot!”
• “Better slow down on the feeding, or he’ll gain too much weight.”
Fortunately, because babies don’t understand them, these words won’t have an impact on
them. But once you’re older, words can seep in, and your healthy relationship with food and your
body is likely to start unraveling.
The people making these statements are speaking the words of the external Food Police. Here
are some comments you may have heard about yourself:
• “You’ve gotten so much bigger since I saw you last.”
• “Have you thought about working out at a gym? You could build some muscle and tighten
up your body that way.”
• “Haven’t you had enough to eat?”
• “What’s wrong with you for eating so much sugar?”
• “Better watch those carbs—carbs can put on weight.”
• “Don’t eat anything after six p.m., because all you do is sit around and then go to sleep.”
No one has a right to make these kinds of judgmental statements! If the external Food Police
show up and start talking about your body or telling you what you can and can’t eat or how much
70
you “should” eat, their words will be soaked up by you and stored somewhere inside, becoming
the voice of the internal Food Police. Notice how easily the external Food Police can transform into
your own critical voice. When you’re feeling bad about something—boom!—the internal Food
Police appear to make you feel even worse.
for you to do
If you can remember something negative that was said to you about eating or your body when
you were younger, write down your approximate age in the first column below. Then write the
comment, who made it and, if you remember, how you felt afterward and/or how the memory of
it makes you feel now.
One of the negative comments made to Ben is below.
Age Comment Who made the Feelings then and/or now

comment
13 Better watch those My mother I felt so bad then, and her

carbs—carbs can put on judgment still stays with me
weight. now and makes me feel bad
when I eat carbs!
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Remembering what the Food Police said to you when you were younger, describe how this may
affect your life now.
activity 26  challenging the

food police: getting started
for you to know

Our thoughts can have a powerful effect on our feelings. Negative or judgmental thoughts can
make us feel terrible about ourselves. Challenging those thoughts and realizing they’re not
helpful can lift our spirits. Keep in mind that you didn’t invent them. They’re not part of your
inner wisdom, so what’s the point of holding on to them?
Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s a fact. You’ll be able to know that a thought
comes from the Food Police by how you feel when you hear it. Do you feel uncomfortable, uneasy,
upset, angry, or rebellious? These may be the same feelings you had when the external Food
Police spoke to you as a child or speak to you now as a teenager. If you’re feeling imprisoned by
the Food Police, it’s time to begin challenging what they’re telling you. If you don’t, you won’t feel
the peace that comes with intuitive eating.
The first step is to understand that these thoughts came from the external Food Police and
stem from toxic myths that create the negative belief systems floating around in our society. Some
72
beliefs include the culturally thin or buff ideal, “good” and “bad” foods, and the “value” of dieting.
Eventually, the external Food Police statements and commands turn into the internal Food Police
and can gang up together to lock you right up in Food Jail.
for you to do
If the Food Police live in your head, write down some of the things they say to you and how they
make you feel. Here are some examples of their words:
• “You eat way too much. You have no control!”
• “You’re always wanting sweets—what’s wrong with you?”
• “Why can’t you ever just want raw vegetables?”
Internal Food Police statement How it makes you feel
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The sad thing about the Food Police is that after listening to a lot of what they have to say
about you, you soon start to believe them and begin to lose trust in your inner wisdom.
Here are some steps for challenging the internal Food Police:
1. From your list above, choose a Food Police thought:
2. Ask yourself how holding on to this thought is helping you.

If you decide it’s not helping you, you can challenge it by having some responses ready for
the Food Police. For example:
a. “Oh no, you’re not going to control me.”
b. “I’ll trust the inner wisdom I was born with to tell me how to eat—not you!”
c. “I think that all foods are allowed and legal, so buzz off.”
Write some responses you might come up with:
3. Try doing the opposite of what the Food Police tells you. For example:
* If the Food Police tell you not to eat carbs, make yourself a sandwich or a bowl of pasta.
* If they tell you that you can eat dessert only once a week and not until after dinner, try
eating dessert for your meal.
What opposite actions could you take?
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How did it feel to defy the command of the Food Police? Maybe you felt great for doing
what you really wanted to do. If instead, you felt guilty, you might want to reread the pre-
vious chapter on making peace with all foods.

food police: banishing
black-and-white thinking
for you to know

The Food Police love to tell you to never do something or always do something. When you hear
either of these words, you’re hearing a black-and-white statement. This kind of thinking is based on
rules that are likely to be broken and to lead you to feeling bad. When you learn to notice these
statements around food, you’ll be able to identify them as the rule-based words of the Food Police.
75
for you to do
You can change your own black-and-white statements to something more reasonable. For example,
“I should never eat sweets” can be changed to “I can eat sweets when I know I’ll enjoy them.”
Notice or remember some black-and-white statements about food that you may be in the habit
of making. Write them below. Counter each one with a restatement that is reasonable and true and
doesn’t set you up for failure. The first row shows you how Ben did this.
Black-and-white statement Reasonable restatement
I should eat vegetables every day. I’ll try to add some vegetables I like when
they’re available. I’ll probably eat plenty
during the week.
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activity 28  challenging the food

police: the trap of perfectionism
for you to know

Are you someone who is usually trying to get the best grade, run the fastest mile, or hang out
with only the most popular kids? Perfectionism is a real trap related to black-and-white thinking.
It keeps you striving for something that is actually impossible to achieve, and that failure can
keep you from trying things you’re not sure you can do perfectly. Physicist Albert Einstein said,
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”
for you to do
In what ways are you trying to be perfect in the realm of food and eating? (Hint: This can even
happen with the tools and insights you’re learning in this workbook.) For example, Ben was excited
about how having satisfying meals would give him a better relationship with food. He promised
himself, “I’ll only eat satisfying meals from now on!” Watch out for words like “always,” “never,”
and “only.”
Write one or two ways you try to be perfect around food and eating:
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food police: using “for the most
part” thinking
for you to know

One way out of perfectionist thinking is to use the phrase “for the most part.” When you say
this, you give yourself the chance to set an intention to do the best you can do in some area. For
example, Ben might say, “For the most part, I’m going to find a way to have satisfying meals.” This
leaves room for times when he might have to eat on the run or eat something that isn’t his first
choice because it’s all that’s around.
In challenging the Food Police, you could say, “I’m going to set the goal, for the most part,
to make positive statements about food or my body. If a negative statement happens to sneak in,
I can notice it in a neutral way, without getting disappointed in myself. After all, none of us is
perfect!”
for you to do
Pick one area where you’ve been trying to be perfect, and let the goal of perfection go. To work on
doing your best without thinking it has to be perfect, incorporate the term “for the most part” in
your answer.
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The more you work on letting go of the goal of perfectionism, the better chance you have of
releasing your Food Police thoughts.
activity 30  exploring how

your feelings affect your actions
for you to know

Just as thoughts can have a powerful effect on your feelings, feelings can equally impact your
actions. Often, when people start to feel bad about their food or bodies, they can end up:
Avoiding social situations or activities they love. For example—not going out to eat with your
friends because you’re afraid you might break a Food Police rule, or deciding not to go to the
beach because the Food Police are telling you your body isn’t good enough to be in a bathing
suit.
Deciding to go on a diet or restrict certain foods, in order to try to change their body. Negative Food
Police comments can make you feel frustrated with yourself and make you beat yourself up
emotionally. Hearing promises that diets can help you lose weight and change your life can
be very enticing. But you know how that story ends!
By challenging the Food Police with positive thoughts, you’ll feel better and get the chance to
have fun, enjoy life, and have satisfying eating experiences.
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for you to do
Here are some examples of actions you can take that show you’re feeling better and challenging
the Food Police.
• If the Food Police tell you not to go swimming until you eat less and lose weight, make a
plan to go to a pool or beach with friends who make neutral or positive comments about
themselves and others.
• If you hear people making statements that come from the Food Police, change the subject
to anything other than food. Talk about music you like, a movie you saw, or a vacation
you’d like to take.
• Unfollow people on Instagram who post memes about good or bad foods or pictures of
themselves showing off their bodies.
What other actions can you take to show that you’re challenging the Food Police?
1.
2.
3.
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activity 31  speaking up

for yourself
for you to know

You’ve worked hard at identifying your internal Food Police and finding ways to change your
belief system and thoughts in order to release yourself from Food Jail. But there’s one more job
you need to do in order to feel fully free. That job is to practice speaking up to the external Food
Police. This job can be scarier than speaking up to your own voice. You might be afraid that
people will get angry at you for saying what you think and might even punish you.
There’s a term for not speaking up: self-silencing. Intuitive eaters do less self-silencing than
people who go on diets. They are more likely to take the risk of speaking up, because they love
how it feels to be independent and stand up for what they believe.
for you to do
Melanie’s mother regularly brags about how she keeps her weight down by exercising excessively
and “eating right.” She tells Melanie that if she would only do the same, she could have a body
like hers. Melanie is afraid to speak up and self-silences her deep feelings of not being accepted
because she knows her mother will never understand.
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Name two or three areas of your eating and body-image life where you self-silence.
What fears do you have about speaking your own truth?
Here are some statements you can practice when you feel strong enough to speak up for what
you believe:
• “I believe that my body is very wise and that I can depend on it to tell me how to eat.”
• “If I listen to all the messages about good and bad foods, I end up feeling bad about myself
if I don’t choose the ‘good’ foods. I don’t want to feel that way anymore.”
• “This is my body, and I have a right to decide what foods I put into it.”
• “I’m not going to buy into the belief that everyone should look one way, and I’m not going
to diet to try to change my body.”
What are some other statements you could make when you’re ready?
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more to do
Practice speaking up to a person in your life who seems safe.
Who is it?
What do you want to say?
After you’ve spoken up, write about how it went for you to say what you really believe. How did
the person react, and how did you feel afterward?
Congratulations! That was a very brave action to take. You’re on your way to being a full-
fledged intuitive eater!
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chapter 5
Do You Hear Your

Stomach Growling?
On weekends, Jessica uses the clock to decide when to eat. If it’s noon, it’s time for lunch, and
if it’s six, it’s time for dinner, but these rigid time rules have nothing to do with her hunger
signals. Jessica said, “When I let the clock rule when I eat, sometimes I’m not hungry enough and
sometimes I’m so hungry that I can’t get the food in my mouth fast enough. When this happens, I
don’t really enjoy eating.”
In this chapter, you’ll explore the next Intuitive Eating principle, Honor Your Hunger. You’re
about to learn about different kinds of hunger and how to identify hunger, and you’ll discover
how great it feels when you see that food tastes even better when you’re comfortably hungry!
When you were an infant, the only reason you ate was because you were hungry. Plain and
simple. You felt a pang in your stomach, which probably hurt a bit, and you cried for milk. This is
physical hunger—the purest form of hunger. And if the person who was feeding you was tuned in
to your signal, you were given the gift of trust—trust in your body’s signals and trust that your
physical needs would be met.
chapter 5  Do You Hear Your Stomach Growling?
Physical hunger is pretty basic. Our bodies give us signals so that we remember to eat, in
order to get all the building blocks we need to stay alive. Later in the book, you’ll learn about
the specifics of nutrition, but for this section, you might want to think of hunger as a wonderful
signal, so that you can eat those satisfying meals we’ve been talking about.
How do our bodies create these hunger signals, anyway? We get messages from the hypothal-
amus in the brain, sugar (glucose) levels in our blood, emptiness in the stomach and intestines,
and some hormone levels in the body. (Hormones are messengers that tell your cells and tissues
to take some action.) One of these hormones is called ghrelin (think “growl”), which is produced
mainly in your gut. It is increased when you don’t get enough sleep, if you’ve been dieting and
not getting enough food (semistarvation), or are under a lot of stress. Neuropeptide Y (NPY) is
a neurotransmitter in the hypothalamus, which is released if you don’t get enough calories or
carbohydrates (more about carbs in the last chapter). These messages all come together to let you
know that you’re hungry.
As you got older, you may have developed other types of hunger:
• Taste hunger
• Emotional hunger
• Experience-sharing hunger
• Energy-seeking hunger
These hungers may not be driven by physical hunger, but they all matter in our relationship
with food and eating. We’ll talk about all of them in this chapter, starting with physical hunger.
activity 32  getting in touch

with physical hunger: signals
for you to know

If you’ve been dieting for a while or eating according to the clock, as Jessica did, you may have
been ignoring your biological hunger signals. Or, if you’re sick or filled with an emotion like
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anxiety, your hunger cues can be masked. In these cases, you’ll have to use the logical part of
your brain to tell you to eat anyway. You’ll still need nourishment, even though you may not
be feeling it.
The very best way to get reliable hunger signals throughout the day is to start your day with
a hearty, balanced breakfast. This means having some protein, like eggs or yogurt, some carbs,
like toast or cereal, and some fat, like butter or avocado on your toast or peanut butter on your
oatmeal.
for you to do
There are many physical hunger signals we can feel. Put a check next to the signals you have
noticed throughout the day:
Stomach growling Stomach rumbling
Stomach gnawing Gnawing in the throat or esophagus
When you’ve waited too long to eat and your blood sugar has dropped too low, the brain
sends out a message that the need to eat is becoming urgent. Put a check next to the signals you’ve
noticed when you’ve let your need for food go too long:
Headache Light-headedness
Difficulty focusing Low energy
Moodiness Stomach pain
Lack of concentration
In the past, how have you decided that it’s time for you to eat? (Mark as many as you have
experienced.)
The clock told me to eat. I wanted comfort or distraction

from my feelings.
I felt one or more of the hunger
signals listed above. Other:
The food looked good.
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Is it a rare experience for you to notice your physical hunger signals?
If you’ve felt any of the hunger signals listed above, which have you felt most often? List them
here:
If you don’t notice hunger because you’re sick or anxious, do you usually eat anyway to nourish
your body?
activity 33  getting in touch with

physical hunger: rating your signals
for you to know

Sometimes, people don’t know where to begin to get in touch with their physical hunger. Think-
ing about hunger and fullness in terms of a scale can help you identify the level of hunger you
may be feeling. Your goal as an intuitive eater is to listen to your hunger signals and allow them
to alert you that it’s time to eat. If you are mostly doing this, then you’ve got this part down pat.
If you are mostly eating for nonphysical types of hunger (like emotional hunger or taste hunger),
your next job will be to practice identifying hunger signals.
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for you to do
This scale will help you match your feelings of hunger with a number. We’ll be using this same
scale when we get to the Fullness chapter.
Rating Feelings of hunger and fullness
0 Painfully hungry. This is primal hunger. It’s very intense and can actually hurt.
Overhungry
1 Ravenous and irritable. An urgent need to eat.
2 Extremely hungry. Intense need to find some food.
3 Fully hungry and ready to eat.

Natural Eating Range
4 Mildly hungry, beginning to notice hunger.
5 Neutral. Neither hungry nor full.
6 Starting to feel satisfied.
7 Comfortable fullness, feeling completely satisfied and content—a sign to stop.
8 Beginning to feel a little too full. Beyond physically needing food.

Overfull
9 Extremely full and uncomfortable—everything feels tight.
10 Stuffed and in pain. Maybe even nauseated.
The middle of the scale is 5. This is a neutral place, where you’re not noticing any hunger
or fullness. You’re probably not even thinking of food. The natural eating range is from 3 to 4.
Aiming for this range will give you the most eating satisfaction. As the numbers get smaller, your
hunger will intensify until you’re ravenous, and, at a 0, you’ll probably feel as if you’re starving.
This is called primal hunger, and your tank is completely empty. And, actually, your brain senses
that too and is likely to trigger overeating.
The next time you notice a hunger signal, look at the descriptions rated 0 to 4 on the Hunger/
Fullness scale, and note which number matches it.
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Describe your hunger signal—where do you feel it, and how does it feel?
Which number matches it?
Use the hunger part of the Hunger/Fullness scale to start guiding you to find the amount of
hunger that will give you the most satisfaction, while preventing getting overfull.
activity 34  testing out taste hunger
for you to know

You might be thinking that you should be eating only when you feel a moderate signal of hunger.
But what happens when you’re not really hungry but have a craving for a particular taste or food?
Maybe something crunchy and salty. Or maybe you see a plate of freshly baked cookies, and they
look like they would taste great. People often say, “I wasn’t really hungry, but I just felt like having
…” These are examples of taste hunger.
Intuitive eaters are not perfect eaters. They don’t always eat when they’re at just the right
hunger level. You’re human; food is delicious, and sometimes you just want to eat something,
simply for the taste of it. Don’t beat yourself up when this happens.
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for you to do
Throughout the coming week, keep track of the times you want to eat something just for the taste,
even if you’re not hungry. You can find a blank chart below and online at http://www.newhar
binger.com/41443.
Day Taste hunger foods
Here’s how another teen, Tom, filled out the chart:
Day Taste hunger foods
Monday Half a bagel that Michael gave me at breaktime

Tuesday Nothing
Wednesday Nothing
Thursday Fresh-baked cookie after school that Mom made
Friday Nothing
Saturday Went out for ice cream with my brother
Sunday Candy bar at the movies
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How many times did you eat something just for the taste?
If you notice that you’re eating just because something tastes good multiple times a day, it may
be that you want food for some other reason than just taste. One reason may be that you haven’t
fully made peace with food but grab it when it’s offered, even if you’re not hungry. If that’s true,
reread Chapter 3—Your License to Eat What You Like.
activity 35  emotional hunger
for you to know

Let’s face it—food is wonderful! In fact, we spent a whole chapter on finding the ways to get the
most satisfaction and pleasure out of eating. And pleasure is definitely a feeling. To say that we
want to eliminate all emotional eating would mean that we would treat food simply as fuel and
lose all the joy of eating. That is definitely not the goal of Intuitive Eating! In fact, if you could feel
pleasure every time you ate, it would be a true gift.
But what if the emotions you’re feeling actually lead you to seek food because you need
comfort or want to escape feelings? If you’re eating when your body doesn’t need food, and it’s
not an occasional experience of taste hunger, then it’s likely that what you’re feeling is emotional
hunger.
for you to do
When you filled out the chart on taste hunger, did you notice that you’re eating frequently without
being hungry? If you did, use the chart below to see whether emotions might be leading you to
eat. For example, maybe you wanted some cookies when you felt anxious while studying for a
test. Or maybe you were bored and made yourself a sandwich.
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Foods eaten when not hungry What were you feeling before you ate?
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Was there one feeling that you frequently felt before eating when you weren’t hungry? Perhaps
it was boredom, anxiety, sadness, loneliness—or something else? In the lines below, write about
what you discovered. Later in the book, you’ll be learning some tools that will help you deal with
these feelings.
activity 36  experience-sharing

hunger
for you to know

I bet you sometimes get together with your friends to go out for pizza, or go to the movies and buy
popcorn and candy. That’s a normal part of being a teen. But what happens if you’re not hungry at
those times? You definitely wouldn’t want to avoid these fun, social times just because you’re not
at a 3 or a 4 on the hunger scale! Or sometimes you might go out to eat because of FOMO (“fear
of missing out”) when you’re not hungry and you’d really rather stay home and finish homework
or watch a movie. Being an intuitive eater means that you eat when you’re physically hungry, for
the most part!
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for you to do
Just like eating occasionally for taste hunger, there will be times when you just want to share the
experience of eating with your friends or family. Or, maybe it’s the opposite, and you avoid eating
with others. Answering these questions can help you evaluate this type of eating:
Yes No
Do I say no to going out with my friends because I’m afraid I’ll eat when
I’m not hungry?
Do I eat in my room instead of eating with my family?
Do I go out with friends but order only something to drink instead of eating
with them?
Do I eat more with friends than I do by myself or with family?
Do I make plans with friends in order to eat foods that I don’t eat at home?
Do I say yes to going out to eat with friends just because I don’t want to
miss out?
Do I pay attention to my hunger when I’m out with friends?
The answers to the questions above will give you a lot to think about. For example, when
Jessica took this quiz, she found that her rule about eating by the clock interfered with her social
life. Sometimes she wouldn’t go out because her friends were eating too early or too late.
On the lines below, write about what you discovered. Perhaps you’ve found that you have some
of the same thoughts as Jessica or that you’re trying to eat at a perfect hunger level and avoid
social situations because you’re afraid of “blowing it.” That’s actually a sign that you still might
be in diet mentality. Or maybe you’ve found that you eat certain foods only when you’re out with
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friends. That might be a hint that you live in a home where your family hasn’t made peace with
food. Or maybe you’re not in touch with what you really need or want to be doing and go out to
eat with friends even if you’d rather not, because of FOMO. What do you think about your experi-
ence-sharing hunger? Has it revealed anything that you hadn’t thought about before?
more to do
Write down some of the things you discovered that aren’t working for you and what changes
you’d like to make. Here’s an example:
Problem situation: I’m avoiding social situations because I’m afraid I’ll eat foods I
don’t think I should have.
Change you’d like to make: I’ll work harder at making full peace with foods, so I can
enjoy eating with friends.
Your turn:
Problem situation:
Change you’d like to make:
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Problem situation:
Problem situation:
activity 37  energy-seeking hunger
for you to know

My hunch is that you’re getting to bed very late and have to get up very early to get to school.
That seems to be what happens to most teens these days. You’re probably up late because you
have activities after school and a lot of homework that needs to get done. You may need to connect
with your friends on social media, or you’re wrapped up in books or video games. Whatever the
reason, it’s likely that you’re often feeling very tired.
Many people think that eating something when they’re tired will give them more energy. This
is called energy-seeking hunger. The truth is, food doesn’t actually give you this kind of energy.
In fact, eating when you’re tired and not hungry can make you drowsy.
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for you to do
Become aware of when you’re experiencing energy-seeking hunger. List the times during the
week when you feel tired and think that food will give you energy. Also note whether you were
hungry, and write down what foods you ate. Then notice how you feel after you’ve eaten.
Times of feeling tired Were you also What foods did you eat? How did you feel
and thinking food will hungry? after eating?
give you energy
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If you found that you weren’t actually hungry but ate several times this week because you
thought it would give you energy, then, what you really need is sleep and not more food.
Becoming an intuitive eater means that you know what you need and what you feel, and you
work toward getting these needs met.
If you’re willing to get more sleep, write about how you can make that happen.
activity 38  setups for negative

outcomes
for you to know

In this chapter, you’ve learned to pay attention to your hunger signals and to figure out when
you’re physically hungry and when you’re “hungry” for other reasons. Your best chance of eating
mainly for physical hunger is to be sure to get enough of the foods you like throughout the day.
It’s equally important to identify and fix any setups for negative outcomes you might still hold.
99
for you to do
Match the problematic setups with their outcomes by drawing a line between each. (There can be
more than one outcome.)
Setup Outcome
Waiting too long to eat Eating excessive amounts

of food you crave
Not eating balanced meals Gulping down food
Not eating breakfast Getting overfull
Not making peace with food Eating foods you don’t

necessarily want
Not eating enough at meals Feeling deprived
Not having sufficient coping Eating when you’re not hungry

mechanisms to deal with
emotions
Not getting enough sleep Comforting yourself with food
Not paying attention to Avoiding feelings by eating

hunger signals when not hungry
Mainly hanging out with your Getting hungry again too

friends during eating times soon after eating
Not staying present when eating Falling into primal hunger and
eating too much
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What did you discover when you matched up the setups and their outcomes?
more to do
Name the changes you can make to be sure that you eat primarily for physical hunger, so you
don’t find yourself having some of the negative outcomes above. Maybe you could start eating
breakfast, even if you have to take it to school with you. Or maybe you need to keep working on
making peace with food or staying present when eating.
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chapter 6
Full and Comfortable

In the last chapter, we talked about how hunger is a physical sensation that can sometimes be
confusing. Its opposite, fullness, can also be misunderstood. What does fullness mean? How full
is full enough but not too much? Imagine that your stomach is a balloon. You can blow a little air
into it, and it will stay pretty small, or you can blow and blow until it’s ready to pop. That’s kind
of like what your stomach can do, but, of course it’s food and liquid that are going in, and maybe
even a little air, if you eat or drink too fast.
Daniel loved to eat but often ate until his stomach hurt. He told me, “I love food so much that
sometimes I just eat and eat until I feel like my stomach could burst. I thought I did this just because
I loved food, but there must be other reasons that I have a hard time stopping.”
The next Intuitive Eating principle is called Feel Your Fullness. In this chapter, you’ll learn
how to identify fullness, ways to find the right fullness level for you, and why you may be having
a hard time noticing when you’re full. Finally, you’ll discover that food is actually more enjoyable
when you eat to comfortable fullness. You may end up feeling a little sad that you have to stop,
but I’m sure you’ll decide that it’s worth it.
chapter 6  Full and Comfortable
activity 39  what fullness feels like
for you to know

In the last chapter, you used the Hunger/Fullness Scale to learn to attach a number to your level
of hunger before eating. The whole goal of that exercise was to help you begin eating with com-
fortable hunger, so that you could get the most satisfaction out of your meal. In this chapter, we’ll
use the same scale to help you identify how to stop eating when you’re comfortably full. Once
you’re past this point, food just doesn’t taste as good as it did when you started, and you’re at risk
of walking away from your meal feeling pretty awful.
If you begin eating at a 3–4 level, you’ll soon start to notice when you’re not really feeling hunger
anymore, but you know intuitively that you probably haven’t had enough to eat. When you get to
this point, you’re at a 5, which is neutral. If you eat some more and are paying attention, you’ll get to
a 6, where you’re starting to feel satisfied, but probably still haven’t had quite enough. Eating a little
more brings you to a 7, which is comfortably full—just where you want to end your meal.
Rating Feelings of hunger and fullness
0 Painfully hungry. This is primal hunger. It’s very intense and can actually hurt.
Overhungry
1 Ravenous and irritable. An urgent need to eat.
2 Extremely hungry. Intense need to find some food.
3 Fully hungry and ready to eat.

Natural Eating Range
4 Mildly hungry, beginning to notice hunger.
5 Neutral. Neither hungry nor full.
6 Starting to feel satisfied.
7 Comfortable fullness, feeling completely satisfied and content—a sign to stop.
8 Beginning to feel a little too full. Beyond physically needing food.

Overfull
9 Extremely full and uncomfortable—everything feels tight.
10 Stuffed and in pain. Maybe even nauseated.
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for you to do
In order to figure out the right fullness level for you, fill out the chart below for at least three days.
You can find this chart at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443. What and how much you eat
will determine how long your fullness lasts and when you start to feel hungry again. The first
row of the chart comes from Daniel’s experience.
Time you ate What you ate and about how much Fullness How many
number hours before
when you you got
stopped hungry again
(0–10)
Noon Four pieces of pizza and two cookies 9 6
What did you notice about how long your meals lasted you? For example, if you ate only a
salad, did you stop at a comfortable fullness (7 on the chart), but get hungry again in two hours?
Same goes for snacks—popcorn or an apple will tide you over for only a short time. Or did you
105
finish all of a pretty filling meal and not get hungry again for five hours, or a rich snack like a
big candy bar and not be hungry for dinner? Some foods like salad, which is filled with fiber and
water, or popcorn that has a lot of air and fiber can give you an artificial sense of fullness, so don’t
be surprised if you got hungry again quickly.
Write about what you discovered:
Do this exercise as many times as you need until you’re able to find the foods in a meal that
will give you just the right comfortable fullness and will last you about three to four hours. But
remember, you have the license to eat whatever you like. If you choose to eat foods that don’t last
you very long or that last longer than expected, that’s cool too. There’s no perfect fullness level,
just the one that works for you at any given time.
activity 40  learning to identify

fullness: staying present
for you to know

Feeling comfortably full can be a wonderful, satisfying feeling after you’ve had a delicious meal.
But for some people, it’s hard to identify fullness, and you might mismatch your fullness number
to your actual fullness. Maybe you’ve become so used to feeling your “balloon” stretched to the
106
max that you think you’re comfortably full when you’re actually overfull. Or maybe you think
you’re full, but you haven’t really had enough to eat.
Here are some ways to begin identifying the right level of fullness for you:
• Stay present when eating.
• Eat slowly.
• Eat every few hours, so you don’t go into primal hunger.
• Start eating when you’re comfortably hungry.
• Pay attention to why you started eating.
There’s one more point to consider in identifying fullness, and it has to do with what you’ve
learned in your family about when to finish your meal: be aware of any family rules about finish-
ing your plate.
Each of the next six activities (starting with this one) will explore one of these points. We start
with the idea of staying present, because it’s actually the key to putting all the Intuitive Eating
principles into action.
for you to do
Staying present means that you’re not multitasking and paying attention to other things while
eating. When people do that, they often get distracted from noticing if the food is satisfying their
taste buds and when they’re getting comfortably full. In the chart below, mark some of the activi-
ties you might do while eating. On a scale of 1–3, note how much each distracts you. (1 equals not
at all, 2 means it distracts you a bit, and 3 means you’re completely distracted.) Daniel put a check
by watching TV, surfing the internet, and texting. He gave all of these activities a 3 because they
completely distracted him from noticing when he got full.
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Activities while eating  How much does this

activity distract you
from your meal?
(Scale of 1–3)
Texting
Watching TV
Doing homework
Surfing the internet
Talking on the phone
Checking out social media
Playing a video game
Reading a book
Glancing at a magazine
Eating with the family
Eating with friends
Driving
Walking
Other:
Other:
Which activities were the most distracting?
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Pick one of these distracting activities that you’re willing to change, and after you’ve changed it,
pay attention to whether you were able to notice when you became comfortably full. Write about
it here:

fullness: eating slowly
for you to know

In the chapter Savor and Be Satisfied, eating slowly was one of the tips for being able to notice
satisfaction. Well, it will also give you the best chance of finding comfortable fullness. Here are
three things that happen when you eat slowly:
• Your body releases more fullness hormones that signal the brain that you’re full and can
stop eating. One of these is called leptin. (Note: If you’ve been undereating and have lost
weight, your leptin levels are reduced—one of the reasons diets end up making you feel
hungrier and crave more food.)
• You’re able to recognize the signals these hormones give you.
• You’re also able to notice the point at which food doesn’t taste as good as it did when you
started. This is called the last-bite threshold, and it shows up at just about the same time that
you’re comfortably full.
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for you to do
For this exercise, find a time when you’re hungry and aren’t distracted. You might want to do this
when you’re alone and able to focus on the exercise. Begin your meal when you’re at a hunger
level of about 3—not ravenous, but fully ready to eat. (See the Hunger/Fullness Scale at the begin-
ning of this chapter.)
What foods did you pick for your meal?
Begin eating, and chew your food, rather than gulping it down.
As you eat, put your fork (or sandwich) down after each bite.
Swallow before you take the next bite. (Lots of people put the next bite in their mouths while
they’re still chewing!)
Take a time-out about two-thirds through your meal. What are you feeling now? Are you at a
neutral point, or do you notice any fullness creeping in?
Do you think you still need a few more bites?
As fullness shows up, what do you notice about how your food tastes?
At this point, fullness will match up with less enjoyment, and you’ve found the last-bite
threshold. It’s probably the time when you’re ready to stop eating. Some people feel sad when they
realize that their body is full, and they need to stop. In the next chapter, we’ll explore the feelings
that can come up when this happens.
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fullness: avoiding primal hunger
for you to know

In the last chapter, you learned that when you’re in primal hunger, you feel completely ravenous
and feel as if there won’t be enough food to fill you. And, boy, do you ever fill yourself! You might
have a hard time stopping. You want to avoid this predicament as much as you can. If you start
eating with primal hunger, you’re likely to end feeling miserably full. The best way to solve this
problem is to:
• Start with a balanced breakfast, as we talked about in the last chapter.
• Start eating when you’re comfortably hungry (about a 3 or 4), not ravenous.
• Eat about every three to four hours.
• Eat balanced meals and snacks.
for you to do
If your meals are balanced, it will be easier to notice when you’re becoming comfortably full. Bal-
anced meals include protein, fat, carbohydrate, and fiber. Here are some examples of balanced
lunches:
• Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a few raw carrots, a handful of chips, a glass of milk,
and an apple
• A couple of sushi rolls, some edamame, and an orange
• Salad with chicken, avocado, shredded cheese, a few crackers or a couple of bread rolls,
and some grapes
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Write down some balanced lunches that you’d enjoy:
Examples of balanced dinners:
• A couple of enchiladas with cheese, some rice and beans
• Hamburger, some fries, and a small salad
• Two or three pieces of pizza and some carrots and celery
Your turn for some ideas of balanced dinners:
And now, how about some balanced snacks that could keep you going for an hour or two until
your next meal?
• Hummus and carrots
• String cheese and crackers
• Peanut or almond butter and an apple
• Nuts and grapes
• Trail mix
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What are your favorite snacks?
Choosing foods you typically select, track your eating for one day, including the times of
eating, how many hours since you last ate, the foods eaten, your hunger level at the beginning of
eating, and your fullness level when you’re done:
Time of Hours since Foods eaten Hunger level Fullness level

meal last meal at start at end
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When you evaluate your chart, do you notice any trends? For example, are you waiting too long
between meals and getting overhungry, or are you eating so often that you don’t get a chance to
feel hungry? Are your meals balanced? Are you eating a lot of “air” food, like popcorn?
more to do
Using what you learned after tracking a typical eating day, make some changes to include more
balance in your meals. You might also try foods that have more substance and less air. Use the
chart at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443 again to see what effect these changes make.
What have you learned about noticing fullness by making these changes?
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fullness: starting to eat when
you’re comfortably hungry
for you to know

I absolutely love eating—if I begin to eat when I feel some moderate hunger. We’ve already talked
about starting at this point in order to get the most satisfaction from your meal. But, to me, there’s
another important advantage to feeling this sense of hunger at the beginning of your meal. If you
don’t feel hunger when you start, you have no reference point to detect those first signs of fullness.
The natural path of eating goes from moderate hunger (3–4), moving on to neutral (5—no sense of
hunger or fullness), and stopping when you’re comfortably full and satisfied (6–7). Just like there’s
day and night, there’s hunger and fullness. It’s all about contrast!
for you to do
This exercise takes true mindfulness from beginning to end. Do it when you’re in a quiet place
and are able to be fully present with your meal.
Begin eating with moderate hunger, and notice if you can feel those first signs of comfortable full-
ness creeping in. You may need a few more bites after that to reach the last-bite threshold. Then
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end your meal and write about your experience. Did you notice the contrast between hunger and
fullness? Did starting when you were moderately hungry make it easier to recognize your stop-
ping point?

fullness: paying attention to why
you start eating
for you to know

In an ideal world of intuitive eating, you would usually begin each eating experience simply
because you were hungry. But as you learned in the last chapter, there are many kinds of hunger.
Review these so that you have them fresh in your mind to help you determine your reason for
eating. Is it hunger or emotions or simply taste? And why is this important? Well, your best chance
of satisfying your tongue and your body has to do with this whole hunger and fullness thing.
You may be getting tired of hearing me talk about satisfaction, but I’m willing to take that risk,
because I think it’s the gift of intuitive eating. Learning to stop eating when you’re comfortably
full is a skill that takes lots of practice, but the reward is so worth the task. That reward is feeling
comfortable and satisfied.
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for you to do
Understanding what’s behind your decision to start eating will help you figure out whether that
reason will bring you the end result you want.
Plan to feel your fullness for the majority of your meals for the next two days. You can use the
chart below, or at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443. To help you practice, ask yourself why
you’re about to eat, each time you begin. Is it for hunger (comfortable or primal)? Mainly taste?
Emotions? Experience sharing? Energy seeking?
Daniel did this exercise to figure out the reasons why he regularly ate until his stomach hurt.
The first row of the chart shows what he discovered for one meal.
Meal Why are you about to eat? Were you able to notice
comfortable fullness?
Lunch I’m ravenously hungry Not really, because

because I haven’t eaten I inhaled the food.
anything all day.
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Daniel discovered that starting to eat when he was in primal hunger was one of the reasons
he frequently overate. You’ll find that you’ll more often be able to notice comfortable fullness if
you begin eating for comfortable hunger rather than for primal hunger, taste hunger, or any of
the other hungers. The further you get on the path to noticing your fullness, the easier it will be
to stop eating at the best fullness level for you.
After you’ve practiced the last five exercises for a while, come back to answer these questions:
Are you finding that you’re becoming an expert at identifying comfortable fullness? How does
this feel for you?

fullness: navigating family rules
for you to know

In the chapter that gave you the license to eat what you like, you did a lot of work hunting down
your food rules and where they came from. One rule that might have come from your family is
“Clean your plate before you leave the table.” If this is true for you, you’ll need to use your skills
at banishing the Food Police to wipe it out of your brain.
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for you to do
If you hold this rule, it’s likely that it came from your family. To help you see if it’s “ruling” you,
put a check next to the statements that describe you:
I finish everything on my plate most of the time.
If I’m eating something that comes in a package, I finish the whole package.
I always finish a whole apple, no matter how big it is.
I rarely got enough food when I was growing up.
If I’m eating a sandwich, I make sure to finish both halves.
I think it’s wasteful to leave any food on my plate.
At a buffet, I go back several times to get more food.
I have to finish all my food before I can have dessert.
I feel guilty if I don’t finish my food.
It doesn’t matter how full I am—I want it all!
How many checks do you have?
Even one check might mean that you were taught to clean your plate when you were younger.
If you discovered that you’re still following your family’s rule about cleaning your plate, pay
attention to how this rule operates in your family. Here are some red flags to look for:
• The food is plated before you arrive at the table. No one is consulted about their hunger
and how much food they need.
• When you put your fork down and don’t move to pick it up even though there’s still food
on your plate, you’re told that you haven’t eaten enough.
• Everyone stays at the table until all the food on the plates is gone.
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more to do
Letting go of this rule brings you closer to being an intuitive eater. Here are some strategies to
help you break it and eat intuitively:
• Let the person who cooked the meal know that it was delicious and that you appreciate it.
• When you notice that you’re comfortably full, ask if you can save the rest of your food to
eat if you get hungry later, or to eat the next day.
• Let your family know that when you eat more than your body needs, you end up feeling
stuffed, and you don’t want to be uncomfortable.
• If you’re forced to keep eating until you finish everything, comfort yourself by knowing
that you’ll be able to honor your fullness when you’re not eating at home.
Write about how you plan to use these strategies and what you hope the outcome will be.
even more to do
Take the quiz at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443 to see if you’re no longer trapped by the
“clean the plate rule” (or maybe never were).
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chapter 7
Is Food Your Frenemy?

Have you ever had a friend who can be comforting one day and make you feel terrible the next?
If you have, you probably realize how confusing it is for the same person to be both positive and
negative in your life. We call this kind of person a frenemy, and food can also play this very role.
Melissa had a similar problem to Daniel’s, but for different reasons. She had tears in her eyes
when she told me, “I’m just so frustrated. I love food so much and look forward to eating when I’m
hungry, but sometimes I keep on eating after I’m full and end up hating the food and myself. Food
has become my enemy. I really need help to understand why I do this. I want to be an intuitive
eater, and I want food to be my friend, not my enemy. Please help me!”
chapter 7  Is Food Your Frenemy?
In this chapter you’ll find tools that helped Melissa (and will help you, too) make food a loving
part of life, instead of a frenemy. The Intuitive Eating principle this chapter centers on is Cope
with Your Emotions Without Using Food.
Developing an emotionally healthy relationship with food starts with doing some work on
your own emotional health, including practicing self-care, feeling compassion rather than judg-
ment for yourself (and all your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones), and reminding yourself
that food can not only give you physical health but also offer pleasure and satisfaction when you
eat intuitively. Food is about supporting your life, not running it or ruining it.
activity 46  understanding why

people eat
for you to know

Food can serve many purposes in our lives. Here are some of them:
• Nourishment—duh! We all know that we need food to take care of our hunger, give us
energy, help us heal wounds, make our bones stronger, and grow taller, among other
reasons.
• Pleasure—Eating a great meal when we’re hungry can be one of the most pleasurable and
satisfying experiences of life. In fact, we spent a whole chapter on this goal.
• Comfort—Food just seems to have the magical power sometimes to make us feel better
when we’re upset. We often learn this as babies or toddlers when we fall down or go to the
doctor, and we’re given some ice cream or a lollipop to stop us from crying.
• Procrastination—When we really don’t feel like doing our work, we sometimes run into the
kitchen to find something to eat. The problem is, we still have to do the work and end up
feeling rushed and stressed.
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• Distraction—Some of us use food when we’re bored or to distract ourselves from tough
feelings. There’s a problem here, too, since the feeling isn’t really going to go away until
you deal with it, so this is actually another form of procrastination.
• Numbing—Sometimes the emotions that bubble up in us seem so difficult that we end up

wanting to eat and eat, or perhaps avoid eating to numb us from feeling anything. Either
way, the feelings end up becoming even bigger and harder to deal with, and on top of it,
your body ends up hurting from being too full or from feeling starved.
• Punishment—People who are feeling really bad about themselves can use food as a way to
hurt themselves. If this is something you do, it’s important that you talk to someone about
your distress. If you can’t talk to your parents, you might feel safe with a teacher, school
counselor, a friend’s parent, religious leader, or psychotherapist. Hurting yourself is not
an option!
for you to do
Do you have a hunch about the main reasons why you eat? Number these reasons from one to
seven, with one being the reason you most often eat and seven being the least. If you experience
two or more equally, you can give them the same number.
Nourishment
Pleasure
Comfort
Procrastination
Distraction
Numbing
Punishment
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Which two reason(s) were at the top of your list?
Which two were at the bottom?
If at the top of your list you named reasons other than nourishment and pleasure, the rest of
this chapter will help you turn your list upside down!
activity 47  practicing compassion
for you to know

Life can bring us difficult emotions and situations. Sometimes we haven’t learned enough healthy
coping skills to deal with these, so we find whatever is available in the moment to get us through.
Eating or restricting food are often the most immediate ways we attempt to take care of ourselves.
Rather than beating yourself up for this, be compassionate toward yourself, and understand that
it was the best you could do at the time.
The quality of compassion includes sensitivity and feelings toward others, patience and
wisdom, kindness, warmth, care, and a desire to relieve suffering. You may be very skilled at
showing compassion to others, but how compassionate are you toward yourself?
Without compassion, life can feel insurmountable, and it’s possible that you’ll turn toward or
away from food for comfort, as a hiding place, or as a way to punish yourself.
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for you to do
In the chart that follows, you’ll find some negative statements that people often make about them-
selves. Mark any that sound familiar to you. On a scale of 1–5, with 1 showing the least compas-
sion and 5 the most, rate how compassionate you feel toward yourself around these statements.
Add any similar statements of your own, and rate your self-compassion. At the top of the chart,
you’ll find an example from Melissa’s chart.
Statement Sound Self-

familiar? compassion
rating (1–5)
When I’m anxious about schoolwork, I run to food. ✓ 3

I seem to overeat all the time.
I can’t fit into some of my clothes.
I’ve spent my life hating myself.
I keep failing on diets.
I eat when I’m not hungry.
I use food to soothe myself when I’m sad.
I won’t let myself eat what I want.
I don’t eat enough when I’m anxious.
I’m a couch potato—I hardly ever move.
I have a hard time with school.
I don’t think people like me.
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Statement Sound Self-

familiar? compassion
rating (1–5)
more to do
Choose a few of the statements above for which you were less compassionate. Practice positive
self-talk—speaking to yourself in kind words—such as “I was going through a rough time and
am glad I had food to comfort me.” Here’s an example of how Melissa began to show more com-
passion toward herself for running to food when she was anxious about school:
Negative self-talk—What’s wrong with me? I’m always running to food when I’m super stressed.
Positive self-talk—There’s so much pressure to get all my homework done and go to soccer practice
and stay in touch with my friends. I understand that food comforts me when I’m so overwhelmed. It’s
been the best I could do, and now I’m working on new coping skills that will help me not use food to
calm myself.
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Write several sentences that show a shift from your own negative self-talk to positive self-talk.
Negative self-talk
Positive self-talk
Negative self-talk
Positive self-talk
Negative self-talk
Positive self-talk
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activity 48  practicing gratitude
for you to know

Another important tool to help you manage life’s difficulties is gratitude. People often spend lots
of time focused on what others have that they don’t have and on feeling the despair of their depri-
vation. If you can flip this focus and look for the things in your life that you appreciate, you’ll find
that your mood will switch, and your need to use eating as a way to cope will shrink away.
for you to do
In the chart that follows, you’ll find some things to put on a gratitude list. Mark the ones that fit
for you and then add any others:
I am grateful for: Yes or No
My family
My friends
My pets
My significant other
My health
My education
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My artistic or musical talent
My athletic ability
The way I can dance
My spirituality
129
more to do
Tomorrow morning, make a gratitude list in your mind or write it in your phone or your note-
book. Every time you’re feeling down, look at your list. At the end of the day, use the space below
to write about how doing this made you feel.
even more to do
Make a gratitude list every day for two weeks (you can download a copy at http://www.newhar-
binger.com/41443). Then go back and do activity 47 again. Notice any difference?
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activity 49  exploring your range

of emotions
for you to know

Once you’ve become more self-compassionate and recognize that your relationship with food is
actually serving you as a coping mechanism, you’re ready to start figuring out your emotions and
finding healthy coping mechanisms to deal with them.
Emotions can range from very positive ones, such as joy or excitement, to very painful ones,
like anxiety and fear. Here are some of the most common emotions people feel:
pleasure fear
joy anxiety
excitement sadness
boredom loneliness
disappointment shame
frustration guilt
anger
for you to do
This week, keep a journal of all the emotions you notice you’re feeling, how many times you feel
them, and how you handle them. For example, you may have felt some anxiety or sadness and
handled it by one or more of the following coping mechanisms:
• eating when you weren’t hungry
• not eating enough food
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• talking to someone about your feelings
• writing in a journal
• overexercising
• taking a walk
• getting started on a task you’re avoiding
• taking deep breaths
• meditating
• taking things one tiny step at a time when you’re overwhelmed
Use these lines to add others:
At the end of the week, fill in this chart to get a snapshot of your emotional range and how
you handled various emotions. (Note: You might handle the same emotion differently at different
times.)
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Emotion How many times How you handled it

you felt it
Pleasure
Joy
Excitement
Boredom
Disappointment
Frustration
Anger
Fear
Anxiety
Sadness
Loneliness
Shame
Guilt
Other:
Other:
Other:
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more to do
Looking at the chart above, what were the main coping mechanisms you used to get you through
these emotions? Write them here:
How often did you discover that food was involved in the way you coped?
Frequently Sometimes Rarely
If you find that you’re frequently eating beyond your comfortable fullness, looking for food
when you’re not hungry, or not allowing yourself to eat when you are hungry, you may realize
that food has become your frenemy. If this is true for you, remember to be compassionate with
yourself and throw out any feelings of shame or guilt.
activity 50  practicing self-care
for you to know

If food has become your enemy, it’s time to learn how to make it your friend again—one that gives
you nourishment and satisfaction.
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If you’ve ever gone hiking, you know that you’re often given a choice of several paths. One
is usually the easiest, one the hardest, and some are in between. The same goes for the different
paths toward healing your emotional eating. One may be easier for some people, while another
is easier for others. Easy or hard, each one builds on the others to finally help free you from emo-
tional eating.
for you to do
Are you someone who takes very good care of yourself? Maybe you floss every day and get
enough sleep most nights. If so, bravo! But sometimes it’s really hard to do everything people tell
you you need to do. Self-care is so important, because if you’re not paying attention to your needs,
you’re at greater risk for looking for food as a way to care for yourself.
Are you on top of these self-care habits?
Yes No
Getting enough sleep five out of seven nights
Getting enough food most days, so you have plenty of energy and can
concentrate on your school work
Keeping your body and your teeth clean
Finding balance in your life, so that you’re not focused only on school or social life
Getting enough movement in your life, like dancing, taking walks, participating in
a sport, and others
Having people in your life to talk to when you’re having problems
Finding ways to have fun and laugh
Exploring ways to be creative
Wearing clothes that you like and are comfortable
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If you answered yes to at least seven of these habits, you’re doing an amazing job of taking care of
your needs. List any areas where you could improve your self-care, and check the first ones you’d
like to work on:
more to do
Here are some ideas about improving some of your self-care habits:
• silencing your phone and not looking at your feeds about a half hour earlier than usual
each night in order to get better sleep. (Note: The light in your phone actually interferes
with the quality of your sleep.)
• taking your dog for walks more often or taking a walk after breakfast on weekend morn-
ings in order to put more movement into your life
• starting a regular chat among a few safe friends where you can vent your problems
• finding counseling help, if problems feel overwhelming
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Brainstorm some ideas about how you could work on some of the habits that need focus:
About once a week, take a look at your list of ideas to evaluate whether you’ve made progress in
self-care. If you have, write about how that feels and how you can add even more self-care to your
life.
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activity 51  finding balance
for you to know

Finding balance in your life is the fourth self-care habit on the list in activity 50. It’s sometimes
the hardest to achieve. When you put too much energy into one part of your life, you’re likely
neglecting other important parts. This can lead to anxiety about getting everything done, with
the potential of using food to calm yourself.
for you to do
In the pie chart following, write an important part of your life in each space. Here are some
examples:
school grooming
homework creativity
friends sleep
dating social media
family spirituality
sports or movement
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139
Now, draw your own circle and space out the size of each slice according to how much
of your life it takes up. For example, you might have half of your pie assigned to school and
smaller slices of your life in the other half.
When Melissa drew her circle, she found that her slice of sleep was very small and her slice
of social media very big. She also found that she didn’t even have a slice of her life dedicated to
painting, which she loved. By limiting her social media time, she found time for creativity.
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Does your life look balanced, or do you need to consider whether too much time is taken up in
one or two areas? If so, draw as many circles as you need in your notebook and practice sizing the
slices the way you would like them to look. Don’t strive for even slices, because that’s not realistic
or even possible—just try for more balance to meet your needs.
Write about how you might expand some slices and shrink others in order to feel more balance
in your life:
activity 52  feeling the power

of nurturance
for you to know

In the last section, you thought about all the basic ways that self-care is part of your life. Nurtur-
ing yourself goes beyond these basics. Some people might call nurturance self-indulgence, but to
me, that’s a very judgmental way of understanding the special things that can make you feel that
your needs are being met. Everyone has very deep needs for feeling special. These needs can be
met by doing something nice for yourself or by asking others to nurture you.
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Here are some ways to feel nurtured:
bubble baths
hot showers for aching muscles
manicures or pedicures
using oils, lotions, or colognes
asking for hugs and back rubs
reading a book for pleasure
listening to your favorite music
buying yourself a present you can afford
calling your best friend when you’re upset
playing with your pet
meditating
speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion
for you to do
Some of the ways you’ve self-soothed in the past, especially using food, only stand in for nurtur-
ance. True nurturance involves tender and loving self-care, both physically and emotionally.
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How do you presently nurture yourself? Which ways are truly nurturing for you? For example—
physical comfort and care, building more connections with others, being kind to yourself.
more to do
List some other truly nurturing experiences you would like to bring into your life:
The more nurturance in your life, the less your chance of turning to food as a coping
mechanism.
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activity 53  building your emotional

muscle: sit with difficult feelings
for you to know

Whether you’re taking ballet, training for a sport, or hiking, you’re not only gaining a skill but
also strengthening your body’s muscles. You can think about your emotional strength in the same
way. This activity, and the two that follow, will help you build emotional muscle.
One of the best ways is to learn to “sit with” difficult feelings—not trying to run from them or
numb them but taking care of yourself as these feelings arise and pass away. By sitting with your
feelings, you will soon develop a way to tolerate difficult emotions, while strengthening your
emotional muscle.
for you to do
For this exercise, you will need to have a quiet place that’s comfortable and safe. You won’t want to
have your younger sibling bursting in to ask you to play or a parent knocking on the door, telling
you to do a chore.
Can you think of a place that would work for you? For example, sitting in your car, on the beach,
or a bench in a park? List any places that could become your private place:
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The next time you feel a feeling that is hard to handle, go to your private place. Bring your
journal, and note the time. Sit (or lie) down, and take a few deep breaths, noticing the air going in
and out of your lungs. This will help calm you.
Notice how your body feels. Feel the bottoms of your feet, your hands, your back, or any other
part of your body.
Focus on a flower or a tree or anything else. Notice the shape and color.
Now, look at the time again and see how many minutes you’ve tolerated this difficult feeling.
Afterward, write about your feelings. (Some people might want to write on their phones, but
it works much better if you actually write by hand in your journal. The physical act of writing by
hand can help you release feelings, especially anxiety and stress.)
Do you feel any better or calmer now?
Breathing, grounding yourself, noticing your surroundings, and writing are powerful tools
that can help you develop your emotional muscle. Do this exercise whenever feelings start to
overcome you. You will notice over time that you’ll be able to sit with them longer, without using
food.
activity 54  building your

emotional muscle: allow the
sadness of saying “enough”
for you to know

Have you ever experienced that point in a meal when you’re full but don’t want to stop eating?
When the food is delicious and you know you’ve had enough, it’s very possible that a feeling
of sadness will show up. (Sometimes it’s a feeling other than sadness—we’ll talk about this in
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the next activity.) Any time we’re doing something pleasurable, it’s very normal to be filled with
sadness about having to stop. Whether it’s the end of a vacation or a good date or a wonderful
meal, it’s likely you’ll feel sad. Acknowledging that feeling will help you get through the few
moments it takes to pass. If you get involved in another activity, before you know it, the sadness
is gone. This is another way of learning to “sit with” difficult feelings.
for you to do
The next time you’re eating a yummy meal, notice how you feel when you realize you’re comfort-
ably full. If you feel sad, see if you can sit for five minutes before eating more. (Remember—there
are more satisfying meals to come!) Then remove your plate or leave the table and begin another
activity. Write about this experience of sadness, sitting with it, and moving on from the meal to
another activity.
Try this several times over the course of a week or two. Are there any activities that work better
than others to help you move beyond the sadness?
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activity 55  building your

emotional muscle: get to know what
you feel and what you really need
for you to know

Sometimes a feeling deeper than sadness arises when you want to eat but you’re not hungry, or
you notice fullness during a meal but want to keep eating. To handle this feeling, the question to
ask is: what do I feel, and what do I really need now?
If your body needs only a certain amount of food to feel comfortably full, but you regularly
want more, it’s a surefire sign of a need in your life that’s begging for attention. (Note: You have a
right to have needs and to have your needs met.)
Here are some of the needs people have:
• to be around others
• to feel comforted by someone
• to talk out feelings with someone safe
• to release some steam or nervous energy
• to stimulate their minds
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for you to do
The next time you have a strong urge to eat when you’re not hungry, ask yourself: “What am I
feeling?”
Then ask, “What do I really need?”
Name some of the things that you might actually need instead of food at this time. Put stars next
to the needs that feel the strongest, or the most frequent.
Now brainstorm some ways to meet those needs without turning to food or food-centered behav-
iors. Which one would you like to try out in the next few days?
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activity 56  using helpful distraction
for you to know

Sometimes it’s simply too hard to figure out a feeling or to cope with it. What a dilemma! You
don’t want to use food, yet you can’t deal with the feeling that’s coming up. This is the time to find
a temporary distracting activity that doesn’t involve food, until you can get some help.
Here are some activities that might work:
• watching a movie or a TV show • listening to music
• hanging out with friends • playing an instrument
• playing with your pet • moving your body
• reading a good book
• scanning the internet
for you to do
Name some activities that might help distract you for a while. Think about where and when diffi-
cult feelings might arise and what you might do in that time and place to (safely!) distract yourself
without involving food. Put stars next to the ones you’d like to try.
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activity 57  preparing

and rehearsing
for you to know

A powerful tactic for avoiding emotional eating is to prepare for and rehearse triggering situations.
To prepare:
• Notice if you have any anxiety about an upcoming event and are worried about how
eating will go.
• Leading up to the event, eat regularly. If you cut back, you’re bound to overdo when you
get there.
• If the event is far from home or will last a long time, bring snacks so you’re not caught
hungry with nothing to eat.
• Make plans to call or text someone if you become upset.
To rehearse:
• Imagine yourself at the event, eating enough to be satisfied but not overfull.
• See yourself coming home, feeling great that you ate enough—not too little or too much.
• Rehearse what you’ll do if you become anxious or bored. Perhaps, contact someone, take a
break and walk outside, breathe deeply, or something else?
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for you to do
Here is an example of an event that worried Melissa:
My sister’s bridal shower is in two weeks. There’ll be a ton of food, and also a ton of my sister’s
sorority friends. I’ll be the youngest one there, and they’re her friends, not mine. One of her
bridesmaids, Trish—I think she thinks I’m dumb, or something. I have to go, but I’m not going to
enjoy it.
Think of a worrisome event coming up in your life. What’s worrying about it, in particular? Write
about it here:
Visualize the event from beginning to end: how do you think it will go, and how do you see
yourself during each part of the event?
Melissa wrote: I’m probably going to be bored and feel like I don’t belong. There’ll be lots of bowls of chips,
nuts, and candy, and I’ll be tempted to eat a lot to help the boredom and anxiety about not fitting in. Then
there’ll be lunch, which might be hard, too.
Now describe your event in the same way:
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How will you prepare and rehearse for the hard parts you foresee?
Melissa wrote: I’ll take a small plate and put some snacks on it, but not too many, because I want to have
some hunger for lunch. Then I’ll ask my sister if I can sit near her at lunch, so I’m more comfortable. If I’m
feeling too much boredom or anxiety, I’ll excuse myself for a minute and go text my best friend for support.
Your turn:
How did it go?
Melissa wrote: Wow, by preparing and rehearsing, I got through this shower really well. Since I didn’t
overeat, I was able to focus on the presents being opened, and I even got to talk to one of my sister’s friends,
who was really nice to me. And Trish was okay too! It ended up feeling so good!
After your worrisome event, write about how it went:
Anticipation (preparation) and visualization (rehearsal) are powerful ways to overcome future
emotional eating. The more you practice these skills, the more fun you’ll have and the less stress
you’ll feel.
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chapter 8
Your Body: Temple,

Fortress, or Foe?
In the best of all worlds, we’d all be grateful for the many wonderful things our bodies can do.
We’d accept that bodies come in different sizes and shapes and that all of them are worthy. We’d
also accept that our bodies are genetically programmed to look the way they do—height, eye
and hair color, shape, and, most importantly, weight. Unfortunately, the real world we live in can
regularly make us feel bad about our bodies.
Molly feels so bad about herself that she regularly makes negative comments about her body. She
once told me, “I don’t think I’m smart enough or that very many people like me. I haven’t liked my
body for a very long time. I decided that if I could restrict my food enough, I’d finally like myself.
But, guess what—it’s not working. I still don’t like my body, and nothing has changed in the way I
feel about myself.”
chapter 8  Your Body: Temple, Fortress, or Foe?
Molly has bought in to all the media hype that promises her that if she could only change her
body, everything else in her life would magically improve. Instead of being grateful for her healthy
body, kind parents, loving boyfriend, and great school, Molly walks around sad and discouraged.
The next Intuitive Eating principle is called Respect Your Body, and it gives you tools for fight-
ing the forces that want you to feel bad about your (excellent, amazing) body and learning to love
it instead (because, seriously, it is excellent and amazing).
activity 58  temple, fortress, or foe?
for you to know

Teens have many ways of thinking about their bodies (actually adults do too). The way you
approach your body can make all the difference in whether life is mostly an interesting, exciting,
pleasurable adventure—or feels more like a prison of self-hatred and despair.
for you to do
Mark any of the statements that describe your thoughts:
1. I’m proud that my body is strong enough to

(for example: swim, dance, hike, do yoga, play a sport, pull my wheelchair).
2. All the other kids’ bodies are better than mine.
3. My body deserves kind words.
4. Because I don’t like my body, I never go to the beach or pool.
5. I love to go shopping and buy clothes I like.
6. I’ll never have a significant other because my body isn’t good enough.
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7. I’d rather stay in my room playing video games or being on social media than hang out
with other people.
8. I take really good care of my body.
9. I’m too short. Or, I don’t like my feet. Or, I wish I were thinner. Or, I don’t like my hair. Or,
I wish I had big muscles. Or .
10. I love to take selfies with my friends.
11. I’m lucky to have the body I have.
12. My body protects me from feeling hurt.
If you marked 1, 3, 5, 8, 10 and 11, you feel your body is your temple.
If you marked 4, 7, or 12, your body may be the fortress that keeps you safe but isolated.
And, if you marked 2, 6, or 9, you unfortunately see your body as your foe.
Is your body your temple, your fortress, your foe, or some of each?
activity 59  unlocking the door

to the fortress
for you to know

If you discovered that your body is your temple, you can celebrate your great self-care, body
appreciation, and positive self-talk. Living life with gratitude for all that your body is and can do
is the launching pad for a lifetime of self-love.
If you discovered that your body is your fortress, you’ve probably been using your negative
feelings about it to protect you from taking risks.
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for you to do
You used a pro and con list earlier in this book to weigh the benefits and downside of dieting. This
same exercise will help you look at whether using your body as your fortress is working for you.
For example, because Molly felt so bad about her body, she stayed home from parties and
other activities. The first row of the chart below shows how Molly used the list to help her weigh
the outcome of her decision. You can use the rest of the chart in the same way. If your cons out-
weigh your pros, it’s likely that your negative body thoughts are keeping you from living your
fullest life.
Issue Pros Cons
Not going to parties I don’t have to deal with My friends think I don’t
because I’m embarrassed my feelings about my like them and have stopped
about my body. body if I stay home. calling. I feel lonely.
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What discoveries did you make by filling out the chart?
activity 60  showing yourself

compassion, once again
for you to know

If you found that on balance, making your body your fortress is taking more away than it’s giving
you, you may be ready to begin making peace with your body so you can start living a more ful-
filling life. The first step is showing compassion for your fears and anxieties. Self-compassion is
essential in helping you move out of this fortress and into the world.
for you to do
How much compassion are you feeling right now for the ways you have protected yourself by
using your body as your fortress? Write some compassionate statements below. For example:
I’ve always felt insecure, so I’ve protected myself from possible rejection by blaming my insecurities
on my body. This has kept me from improving other parts of myself, like studying more to feel
smarter, or taking the risk to talk to people, so I don’t feel like such an outcast. I’ve been so scared
to face my issues! Wow, how clever I’ve been to find this way to protect myself, when I didn’t know
what else to do.
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Your turn:
If you’re still having problems unlocking the key to your fortress, it might be helpful to talk
with a counselor to get some support in helping you through this.
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activity 61  rejecting the foe
for you to know

Not only can negative feelings about your body keep you from experiencing life, they can also
turn your body into your foe. As a result, you may be spending many hours feeling bad about
yourself.
for you to do
Over the course of a day, from eight a.m. to eight p.m., mark how many negative thoughts you
have about your body in each hour.
Hour Number of negative 2:00 p.m.

body thoughts
8:00 a.m. 3:00 p.m.
9:00 a.m. 4:00 p.m.
10:00 a.m. 5:00 p.m.
11:00 a.m. 6:00 p.m.
12:00 p.m. 7:00 p.m.
1:00 p.m. 8:00 p.m.
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Were you surprised by the number of negative body thoughts you had?
How do you think these negative thoughts affect how you feel about life?
What are some ways your life might improve if you could wipe out these negative thoughts? For
example, you might make room to think about sports or friends or fun activities.
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activity 62  making your body

your temple
for you to know

A temple is sacred and special. It’s often a place of devotion, where you can show respect and
honor what’s important to you. If you’ve found that making your body your fortress or your foe
has kept you from enjoying life, then it’s time to learn ways to make your body your temple.
Here are some ways you can show respect to your body:
• Accept that all bodies come in different sizes and shapes, including yours.
• Recognize the many miraculous things your body can do.
• Feel grateful for your body’s abilities.
• Take care of your body’s needs.
• Honor your hunger and fullness.
• Say nice things about your body.
• Wear comfortable clothes that you enjoy.
• Do nurturing things for your body.
• Stop comparing your body to others.
for you to do
Pick three of the suggestions above, and consider how you can practice them in your life. For
example, if you decide to spend more time feeling grateful for your body’s abilities, you could take
a moment after playing a sport to reflect on your gratitude for how your body moved and how
good it felt to be active.
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First suggestion:
Second suggestion:
Third suggestion:
Where will you start?
Eventually, you can practice all of these ways. Start slowly and build your list of the ways you
show your body respect.
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activity 63  accepting mother

nature’s plan
for you to know

Have you ever tried to make your size eight foot fit into a friend’s size five shoe? Tried to get taller
by stretching as far as you can every day? Used eye drops to try to change the color of your eyes?
You probably haven’t done any of these things, because you realize how ridiculous they are. You
accept that your foot can’t get smaller or that your height is (or will end up being) what Mother
Nature programmed for you. You know that eye drops will never turn your brown eyes blue. But
so many teens (and adults) think they can change their size or shape by going on diets or overex-
ercising. The truth is that weight and shape are programmed by your genetics, the same way that
foot size, height, and eye color are.
You learned about the dangers of dieting in Chapter 1. So if you can’t really change your
weight or shape because you’ve inherited them, the best and healthiest thing you can do is to
accept in every cell of your body what Mother Nature intended for you. It takes a lot of courage to
do this, but it will save you the agony of your failed attempts!
for you to do
Are you feeling even the tiniest amount of relief when you think about letting go of the fantasy
of changing your body? Maybe you’re feeling angry that you can’t do this, or maybe you’re in a
little denial, because you’ve read about actors who’ve done it, so why not you? (Fact: Even people
you think look amazing and perfect can’t change things they dislike about their bodies. Instead,
photographers have ways to digitally alter the size of their bodies, or film them in a certain light
to look thinner or hide cellulite or blemishes. And for those who restrict their food or overexercise
to lose weight or bulk up their muscles, the results are only temporary and possibly dangerous.)
In the lines below, write your feelings about accepting Mother Nature’s plan for the aspects
of your body you’ve wished you could change. Name those aspects and what you can do to help
make acceptance more possible.
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For example, when Molly saw that her life was no better after losing weight (and, of course,
gaining it back), she decided to feel grateful for the body she has and began to focus on the many
ways she could feel better. She started taking her piano practices seriously and became proud of
the music she played.
You can absolutely make your body feel the best it can by moving it regularly and giving it the
fuel it needs each day. You can feel stronger, have more stamina and energy, and feel more physi-
cally capable—that’s for sure.
In the lines below, write about the ways you could (and already do!) help your whole body feel
better physically. For example:
• You could spend a few minutes stretching each day to keep your muscles limber.
• You could make sure to include some calcium-rich foods each day to strengthen your
bones (more on that in the last chapter).
• You could eat enough food each day to meet your energy needs, so you can accomplish all
your tasks.
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• You could commit to regularly practicing your sport, dance, or gymnastics to be on top of
your game.
activity 64  recognizing the many

miraculous things your body can do
for you to know

Since there’s no healthy way to change your size or shape, you’ll feel better if you focus on all the
amazing things your body can do. There are so many, and they’re happening all the time, from
your heart beating nonstop for decades to hearing a bird sing or a wave crash to rolling down a
grassy hill.
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for you to do
Molly identified some of the amazing things her body can do:
being a good dancer

being a good hugger
taking a walk along the beach barefoot
helping Grandma carry heavy things
flying a kite
playing with Clara (her little sister).
throwing balls for Toffee (her dog) in the backyard
Name some amazing things your body can do.
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activity 65  finding even

more gratitude
for you to know

Now that you’ve spent some time appreciating what your body can do, focusing on gratitude will
remind you to think positively about your body. Maybe you’re grateful for the home run you hit
or for how good it feels to slather on lotion.
for you to do
Start each morning with a body gratitude list. Practice making your first gratitude list here, and
continue this regularly in your notebook. The first line is something Molly is grateful for.
I am grateful for:
The fact that I have rhythm and love to dance.
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activity 66  taking care of

your body’s needs
for you to know

Self-care plays just as big a part in showing self-respect as it does in helping you cope with your
emotions. The most basic way to show respect to the temple that is your body is to practice some
of the self-care habits you worked on in the last chapter; for example, cleanliness, nourishment,
sleep, and movement. Eating when you’re moderately hungry and stopping when you’re comfort-
ably full are also signs of loving and respectful self-care.
for you to do
Look back at activity 50. In what ways has your self-care changed since you committed to improv-
ing it? For example, if you have focused on getting more sleep or are less sedentary, do you find
that you feel better physically?
List the ways you’re taking better care of your body:
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Write about any ideas or plans you have for improving your self-care in ways that are specifically
about honoring the temple that is your body.
activity 67  saying nice things

about your body
for you to know

If you take a few moments to listen to some of the ways your friends talk about their bodies, you’ll
probably notice that there’s a lot of negative self-talk filling the air. You may also be contributing
to this toxic air. These body-bashing comments can sting and make you and others feel really bad.
for you to do
Pay attention to body talk in your group of friends for a few days. When friends are changing for
PE or a sport, do they look in the mirror and make negative comments? When you go shopping,
are you hearing disrespectful messages about their bodies? Or if you’re looking at a magazine,
or watching a TV show or movie with friends, do they put themselves down, while looking at
images of celebrities?
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Put a check next to any negative comments you’ve heard from others or made about yourself.
Then add any others:
Negative comment Heard from Said it

someone yourself
else
“I’m too big.”
“I hate my body.”
“My arms aren’t muscular enough.”
“My stomach isn’t flat enough.”
“I’m too short.”
“I don’t feel pretty (or handsome).”
“My waist is too big.”
“I’m too skinny.”
“I’m too tall.”
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Find a way to change each comment to one that is positive and self-respectful. For example:
Negative comment—“I’m too big.”
Positive change—“My body is curvy, just like my mom’s and just like Mother Nature meant
it to be.”
Negative comment—“My arms aren’t muscular enough.”
Positive change—“I’m actually pretty strong, so I guess my muscles work when they need
to.”
Change some of your own negative comments to positive ones:
Negative comment:
Positive change:
Negative comment:
Positive change:
Negative comment:
Positive change:
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activity 68  wearing comfortable

clothes you enjoy
for you to know

Keeping clothes in your closet that fit you when you were younger or when you dieted (before the
diet failed) is a surefire way to make you feel miserable. If you try to wear these clothes, they’re
tight and binding. If you can’t even get them on, you may feel frustrated and angry. The truth is
that these clothes are not meant to fit your “here and now” body. You’ve either outgrown them, or
they are simply clothes that were meant for someone whose size or shape is different from yours.
for you to do
Here are some steps to help you become more comfortable in your clothes:
• Box up all the clothes in your closet that don’t properly fit you.
• Also box up the clothes that don’t give you any joy when you wear them.
• Find a charity that will be happy to take these clothes. (If you’re not ready to give away the
boxes, store them until you are.)
• Try on your underwear, and get rid of what isn’t comfortable.
• When you can afford it, buy a few new outfits that fit comfortably and put a smile on your
face.
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If you followed any of these steps, how did it feel to let go of these uncomfortable clothes? It’s
possible you’ll feel freer and more respectful toward your body. Write about your feelings here,
whatever they are:
activity 69  doing nurturing things

for your body
for you to know

If you have a car, have you ever spent time washing and polishing it? I’ll bet it makes you happy
to look at your clean and shiny baby! Or do you have some leather boots or a good leather purse?
If you’ve rubbed conditioner into them, they’re probably smoother to the touch. And do you ever
pet or brush your dog or cat? They definitely love it! But what about your body?
In the last chapter, you practiced nurturing your emotions. Some of the same things are good
for loving and caring for your body:
• Wear aftershave or cologne to smell nice.
• Ask someone to give you a massage. (If you can afford it, a professional massage is a great
stress reducer.)
• Get a manicure or pedicure.
• Soak your skin in lotion.
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• Get enough sleep. (There’s that sleep thing again!)
• Get as many hugs as you can from people you love.
• Take a bubble bath or a hot shower.
• Walk barefoot in the grass.
• Dangle your feet in a swimming pool, or slide in and swim for fun.
• If you belong to a gym, sit in the steam room or sauna.
• Put a yoga or meditation app on your phone, and practice a few minutes a day.
• Do some deep breathing when you’re feeling tense.
for you to do
One of the most satisfying ways to show respect to your body is to nurture it every way you can.
List three body-nurturing things (from the list above or anything else you can think of) you can
do this week:
1.
2.
3.
At the end of the week, write about how you felt afterward. Did you feel calmer, more satisfied,
soothed, or anything else?
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activity 70  stopping comparisons
for you to know

The clearest sign of body acceptance and respect is when you stop checking out others’ bodies to
see how you match up. Comparing yourself to others can only make you feel envious and dislike
yourself more, or make you feel superior if you think your body is better. Neither of these feelings
is comfortable, and both can cause you a great deal of pain. Envy means you’re focusing on what
you don’t have, and superiority is shallow and short-lived.
The best thing you can do is to forget about others—your own personal qualities are what
counts!
for you to do
Check all the personal qualities you possess:
sense of humor generosity
kindness loving-kindness
self-compassion empathy
commitment ability to listen
work ethic loyalty
dependability compassion
patience honesty
intelligence reliability
personality courage to speak up
friendship resilience
talent authenticity
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other:
other:
other:
Now, think of someone you admire. Go back to the list and put a check next to the qualities
you see in that person.
If you didn’t add the person’s size or shape, your authentic self (the inner part of you that holds
your wisdom about who you really are) knows that the qualities on the list are what make that
person (and you) special—not how someone looks!
more to do
Notice when you begin to compare yourself to another this week. As soon as you do, remember
your list of personal qualities. Write about how it feels to honor yourself rather than envying
others:
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even more to do
And here’s another way to stop comparing—throw out your scale! When you weigh yourself
regularly, you’re actually comparing your weight that day with your weight from another day (or
to some friend’s or celebrity’s weight.) You learned in Chapter 1 that weighing gives power to the
scale instead of your inner wisdom about eating. It can also affect your feelings, as the number
goes up or down.
After throwing out your scale, what feelings came up for you, either positive or negative, or both?
activity 71  changing your social

media habits
for you to know

One of the most effective ways to help you stop comparing is to notice just how powerful social
media can be in making you feel “less than.” The effortless-looking, perfect selfies may have
taken the poster hours of planning and editing to achieve, and they can make you feel terrible by
comparison in seconds flat.
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for you to do
How often do you see pictures in your feed of people promoting their own “perfect” bodies? How
does that make you feel?
How much work do you think went into making one of these posts? What do you think the
posters get out of obsessing over their social media images?
As your first step in letting go of social media that makes you feel bad, commit to unfollow-
ing and unsubscribing anyone who posts these pictures or talks about dieting or unrealistic body
goals. Your next step: find people who have body-positive thinking and intentions. And if you can
follow people who promote intuitive eating, all the better!
Name the accounts you’ve deleted:
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Now name the positive ones you’ve added:
After a week of making these changes, how do you feel?
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chapter 9
Joyful Movement
Luke is a teen I’ve known since he was very young. He told me, “My mom has been after me all my
life to get off the couch and exercise. The more she pushed and cajoled me, the deeper I dug into the
couch, watching more and more TV, playing more video games, and eventually adding social media
to the mix. I refused and rebelled because I thought she wanted me to exercise so I’d lose weight, and
because I thought of exercise as a chore. I wonder if there’s another way to think about it.”
The next Intuitive Eating principle is called Exercise—Feel the Difference. But since I mix things
up a lot, how about using the word “movement” when you think about moving your body, instead
of “exercise”? In this chapter, you’ll learn why I like the idea of movement better than exercise,
what the acronym NEAT means, why you might resist “exercise,” and why it’s important to find
ways to include joyful movement into your life.
chapter 9  Joyful Movement
activity 72  every living

thing moves!
for you to know

Did you ever have a goldfish when you were a kid? You probably did, and did you notice that
that fish spent its life swimming around the bowl? Or better yet, do you have a cat or dog? Your
cat may love to sleep a lot, but when she’s up, she chases dust bunnies in the house or birds in the
backyard. And your dog’s favorite activity is probably chasing the ball you throw, and when you
jingle his leash, he gets super excited to go out and be walked.
Your pets love to move their bodies, because it feels good, and because they have an innate
desire to move. They’re not thinking If I run in the yard, I’ll lose weight, or If I build my muscles, the
other dogs will think I’m buff. In fact, your pets can’t even form thoughts. Their actions are based
on their instincts and emotions, and they’re probably feeling pretty joyful when they’re moving.
For thousands of years, humans spent most of their time moving their bodies, but more
recently, with a burst in technology, movement has been turned on its head. People spend many
hours in front of TVs or computers, attached to their phones, or simply lying around.
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for you to do
During the next week, pay attention to the ways that animals and people move—not how they
exercise, but just how they move. For example, you might see your cat stretching her paws or kids
running around a playground. List all the activities you notice:
Write about your observations of all this movement. For example, did it seem forced or natural?
Did you notice some people or pets moving around a lot and others barely moving?
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activity 73  exploring exercise

vs. movement
for you to know

At the movies in the mall, I’ve noticed that most people take the escalator, rather than walking up
the stairs. No matter how crowded the escalator, people just avoid the stairs. I see this happening
in lots of other places too. I don’t think people do this because they’re necessarily lazy. Instead,
I think it’s probably because many people have black-and-white ideas about exercise. To them,
exercise means working out at the gym or running a few miles on the street. If they’ve already
exercised that day, they think, Why bother walking upstairs? The rest of the time, they can justify
being sedentary. And others don’t even think about moving at all!
for you to do
For a week, keep track of the ways you move (both simple movement and exercise), and mark how
each feels. (You might need to add two checks for some.) The first couple of rows were how Luke
began his chart.
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Pleasant Unpleasant
Activity (pleasurable, (distasteful,
enjoyable, fun, difficult,
joyful) uncomfortable)
Played basketball with my brother √
Hiked with my mom √
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Look over your list of physical activities, and write about your relationship with movement. For
example, are some of the ways you move your body pleasurable and joyful for you, or do you find
them uncomfortable, or even miserable? Which activities feel the best for you?
more to do
Evaluate whether you’re primarily an exerciser or a mover:
1. Do you think you’re exercising only if you’re at the gym, using exercise equipment?
2. Do you park a distance from your destination so you can get some walking in?
3. On a day you’ve worked out, do you think it’s okay to spend the rest of the day lying on
your bed or couch?
4. Would you rather work out at the gym than just be active?
5. Do you take the stairs instead of the escalator if they’re available?
6. If you have a two-story house, when you forget something upstairs, do you see it as an
opportunity for movement?
If you answered yes to questions 1, 3, and 4, you’re likely an exerciser.

If you answered yes to questions 2, 5, and 6, you’re likely a mover.
(Or, maybe, movement isn’t a big part of your life at all.)
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If you found that you’re mostly an exerciser, write about whether you’re willing to also become a
mover. By the way, if you do love to exercise or work out, that’s cool—don’t give it up! Just think
about adding other everyday movement into your life, as well. Read on for why!
activity 74  learning about NEAT
for you to know

Are you thinking, Is she telling me that I need to clean up my room? Nope, I’m not your parent,
although cleaning up your room is definitely an activity that keeps you moving! NEAT is an
acronym for non-exercise activity thermogenesis. It basically means that your body is creating
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heat by simply moving around. NEAT happens when you’re not sleeping or eating and doesn’t
include formal exercise. Here are some NEAT activities:
wiggling your toes
standing up
walking up stairs
walking on level ground
playing with your dog
washing a car
pacing around the room
standing on one leg
dancing
Are you getting the idea? These NEAT activities are all examples of simply moving your
body as you go through your day, in contrast to having an intense burst of exercise at the gym or
running a half marathon. Interestingly, people are often healthier when they move much of the
time, rather than scheduling formal exercise and then lying around for hours watching movies
and checking their feeds.
Can you think of some ways to put more NEAT in your life? Some examples might be:
• Take the stairs instead of an escalator or elevator.
• Stretch your body when you get up in the morning.
• Put on some music and dance.
• Park a couple of blocks away from where you’re going, so you can walk farther.
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List some NEAT activities you could add into your life:
activity 75  being sedentary
for you to know

Being sedentary means tending to spend much of your time sitting, being inactive, and having
little physical movement. Teens are often sedentary because of technology, homework demands,
and social and school commitments. And sometimes they’re just rebelling from all the pressure
they feel to exercise, like Luke did. In past chapters, you learned about how powerful your need
to rebel can be when told what to do. In this case, the sad part about rebelling by being sedentary
is that you tend to feel pretty lousy physically.
Unfortunately, being sedentary not only affects how you feel from day to day but is also
associated with some health risks, like bone or muscle loss, mood swings, slowed metabolism,
and possibly heart and brain problems and diabetes—things that won’t affect you now, but are
important to keep in mind for the future.
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for you to do
For this exercise, pay attention to the amount of time you spend sitting, doing sedentary activities.
Add any activities that aren’t listed.
Sedentary activity Hours during Hours on

the week the weekend
Driving
Sitting in class
Doing homework
Talking on the phone
Surfing the internet
Checking social media
Watching television
Playing video games
Reading for pleasure
Lounging with friends
Sitting at the movies
Total hours per day:
190
How many hours were you sedentary on weekdays?
On weekends?
Which sedentary activities do you do most often?
more to do
In the chart below, mark any of the physical or emotional symptoms you may feel as a result of
being sedentary, and add any others.
Low energy
Achy muscles
Tiredness
No stamina
Stiffness
Weakness
Feeling isolated from friends
Feeling inferior to athletic or active friends
191
Write about any symptoms you may have noticed by being sedentary and how this might affect
the quality of your life.
At school you’re probably standing up about every hour in order to go on to your next class,
but you may be super sedentary on weekends and long vacations at home. What’s pretty excit-
ing is that simply standing up regularly throughout the day will keep you from being sedentary.
When you’re not in class, stand up for about five minutes each half hour. You can also move
around and stretch during this time. Just think about how much “neater” you’re becoming!
activity 76  wondering about

exercise resistance
for you to know

If you discovered that you find exercise to be a drag and that your relationship with movement
tends to be negative, you may have had some troublesome experiences in the past. Here are some
reasons why you might resist physical activity:
• A parent has pushed you to exercise, saying that it’s for your health, when you really know
you’re being judged for your weight and pressed to exercise to lose weight.
• Maybe you had an injury in a sport or in dance or gymnastics. While healing from the
injury, you can’t move your body the way you like. After the injury heals, you sometimes
can’t perform as well as before or are afraid you’ll hurt yourself again.
192
• If you’re forced to do the same activity your family does, and you don’t really like it, you
can end up resenting movement and rebelling against it.
• If you’ve bought into the culturally thin or muscular ideal, and you don’t feel that your
body matches up to that ideal, it’s possible that you shun movement because you don’t
want others to judge your body.
• If exercise has always been connected with dieting, which has felt like a failure, it’s pos-
sible that you’ve thrown out movement along with the failed diet.
• If you can’t meet an unrealistic goal, you figure, Why bother!
for you to do
If any of these reasons for exercise resistance fits for you, write about your experience (there could
be more than one):
Be compassionate toward yourself for reacting the way you have. As an intuitive eater, you
learn to listen to your body’s signals, rather than reacting to external issues. You’ve rejected move-
ment as a way to protect you from the feelings that may have come up in these situations. Now is
the time to heal your resistance by paying attention to how great movement can make your body
feel.
193
activity 77  why include

movement?
for you to know

Now that you’ve had a chance to think about whether and why you may resist exercise and how
that feels, or whether you’ve been sedentary as a habit, let’s look at the reasons to include move-
ment in your life and how you might do that.
Here are some things that being active and moving your body can do for you:
make you stronger strengthen your bones
give you more energy reduce stress
increase balance improve mood
increase stamina increase alertness
help you sleep better improve learning and memory
make you feel less tired during the day increase metabolism
keep you from getting sick help you identify hunger and fullness
signals
keep your heart healthy
give you joy
The bottom line is that if you become more active and include more movement in your life,
your mind and body will feel so much better!
194
for you to do
Close your eyes, and imagine how your life might improve if you got some of the benefits of
movement listed above. Write down what you’ve imagined:
195
more to do
Here’s a list of activities that some teens do. Mark the ones you do now and whether they bring
you joy. Add any others that you enjoy. Then mark the ones you’d like to include in your life:
Activity Do now Brings you Might like to

joy do
Walking
Running
Hiking
Biking
Swimming
Dancing
Basketball
Baseball
Football
Volleyball
Hockey
Archery
Surfing
Boogie boarding
Skiing (downhill or cross country)
Snowboarding
Roller skating
196
Roller blading
Skateboarding
Ice-skating
Martial arts
Pilates
Gyrotonics
Yoga
Ping-Pong
Tennis
Paintballing
Rock climbing
Trampoline
Boxing
Weight lifting
Playing with your dog
Jumping rope
Aerobics
Bowling
197
Some people like to exercise. Others don’t. But if you can find an activity that brings you joyful
movement and keeps you from being sedentary, you will become a healthier, active person who
feels better physically and emotionally. You’ll probably get sick less often, have more energy, sleep
better, and be able to concentrate better at school.
even more to do
List three activities you put in the “might like to do” column above, and plan when you could put
them in your schedule. After you’ve done each of the activities, notice how it felt physically and
emotionally to be active.
Activity you’ll do When will you do it? How did you feel afterward?
198
activity 78  recognizing

overexercising
for you to know

We’ve spent a lot of time talking about the benefits of movement and finding movement that feels
joyous to you. You’ve learned that you don’t have to do structured exercise to be healthy. We’ve
also looked at the problems with being sedentary. But what about the opposite? What happens
when you move too much?
Here are some reasons why people overexercise:
• They worry that if they don’t exercise enough, they’ll gain weight.
• They think it’s healthier if they do excessive amounts of exercise.
• They feel bad about themselves if they’re not pushing themselves.
• They think that just moving around isn’t enough.
These people will exercise even if they’re sick, overtired, or don’t really have time on a particu-
lar day. They turn exercise into a chore, rather than a joy. But overexercising can
cause you to burn out and end up becoming sedentary;
cause injury;
be used as a way of escaping feelings;
raise your risk of getting sick;
keep you from doing other important things in your life;
slow your metabolism, if you’re not eating enough.
199
for you to do
So how do you find the right amount of movement for you? Here are some questions to ask to get
the right answer:
• Does the movement I do make me feel good?
• Does it make me angry or resentful?
• Does it often cause me to get injured, overtired, or sick?
• Does it give me joy?
• Can I fit it into my life and still keep up my homework, social and family life, and fun
times?
Let’s be real. As a teen, you’re being stretched in so many ways. You may often feel over-
whelmed trying to get everything done. If your need to move feels compulsive and makes it dif-
ficult to live a balanced life, then it’s too much. If the amount you move causes injuries, being sick
a lot, or feeling exhausted, then it’s too much. The right amount of movement will be different for
each person. If movement gives you joy and makes you feel healthier and stronger, and you’re
able to include it with the other important things in your life, then you’re doing just the right
amount. And remember, movement doesn’t necessarily mean formal exercise. Being active and
including NEAT in your life on a daily basis will make you healthy, happy, and fit!
After answering all of the questions above, evaluate the amount of movement in your life, and
decide whether it’s not enough, too much, or just right.
200
chapter 10
From Nutrition to Play Food—

Room for It All
Olivia is a teen whose parents love her very much and want her to have the best in life. Olivia
told me, “My mom has been cooking for me all my life. She’s a great cook, but she’s always trying
to control what I eat. She only wants me to eat ‘healthy’ food. When she sees me eating chips or
dessert at our cousins’ house, she gives me the evil eye. It’s always made me feel so guilty. Couldn’t
I be healthy and still eat chips and cookies? I’m so sick of feeling guilty!”
The last principle of Intuitive Eating is Honor Your Health with Gentle Nutrition. Putting nutri-
tion at the end was very purposeful, and even though I’ve presented some other principles out of
order, I felt strongly that keeping it last in this workbook made the most sense. And here’s why—if
you start thinking about nutrition before you’ve made full peace with food or you’re still having
chapter 10  From Nutrition to Play Food—Room for It All
diet thoughts or you haven’t figured out how to get the most satisfaction out of eating, a focus on
nutrition is going to backfire on you. Wanting to know more about nutrition has to come from a
very deep place in you that knows you can always choose to eat whatever you like, without judg-
ment. When you’re truly at that point and are noticing that you’d like to feel better physically or
are simply curious about nutrition, you’re ready to dig in.
I’m going to show you that good health is not just about getting enough nutrition but also
about making room for the “play foods” that simply give you pleasure! I’m also going to teach you
some basic facts about nutrition. But, once again, I’m going to be the maverick and let you know
that rather than telling you what to eat, I trust that you were born with the inner wisdom to guide
you about how to nourish yourself. I’m just going to help you add to that wisdom by giving you
some information to help you decide the best way to eat for you.
activity 79  figuring out if you’re

really ready for nutrition facts
for you to know

Have you ever heard your mom or dad (or grandma or anyone else) say, “Finish your meal before
you eat your dessert”? Or “You’ve had enough junk food—eat something healthy!!” If so, it’s
likely that you’ve taken in some misconceptions about the “right” way to eat or have had some
negative reactions to what they say to you about nutrition.
for you to do
To figure out if you’re ready to learn about nutrition, answer yes or no to these questions, and total
your responses in the last line:
202
Question Yes No Chapter
Do I truly feel I can eat anything I want without internal judgment? 3
Do I notice how my body feels based on what I choose to eat? 2, 5, 6
Do I think I could improve how I feel physically by knowing more about 8

nutrition?
Do I want to learn about nutrition to be healthy in the future? 6, 7
Have I learned to eat for pleasure and satisfaction? 2
Do I have healthy coping mechanisms for my emotions? 7
Can I recognize when I’m hungry? 5
Can I recognize when I’m full? 6
Can I tolerate the sadness I feel when I stop eating because I’m full? 7
Do I respect and appreciate my body? 8
Have I let go of any ideas about dieting in order to change my body? 1
Have I incorporated movement in my life in order to feel better? 9
Am I brave enough to speak up for how and what I want to eat? 4
Am I willing to challenge food fads and the myths I hear? 1
Do I want to learn how to eat for optimal energy and well-being? 7
Have I let go of any judgment about my food or weight? 1, 3, 8
Have I let go of any judgment about others’ food or weight? 1, 3, 8
Do I believe that my body knows how to guide me in my food choices? 1, 3
Totals:
If you answered yes to at least sixteen of the questions, you’re good to go for the rest of this
chapter. If there are still quite a few no answers, you might want to wait to read this chapter until
you’ve moved further along in your journey toward intuitive eating. Remember, have no judg-
ment about your progress. This is a process that takes as long as it needs to take. You will eventu-
ally get there!
203
more to do
List the questions that had a no answer for you:
In the right-hand column above, there is a key to the chapters you might want to reread for
each of the questions.
activity 80  paying attention to how

eating can affect how you feel
for you to know

Have you ever wondered why some days you feel livelier and more alert than others? If you have,
it’s likely that you know that getting enough sleep definitely affects how you feel. But what you
eat also has a strong impact on your energy levels and physical well-being. Having a steady flow
of nutrition throughout the day will keep your energy up. Learning about which foods might give
your body discomfort will prevent distress and help you feel good all day.
Here are some ways eating affects how you feel, and why:
• Eating breakfast will set your hunger and fullness signals for the whole day.
204
• Eating about every three to four hours will keep your blood sugar even and keep you from
going into primal hunger.
• Eating balanced meals that have some protein, carbohydrate, and fat will satisfy your
body better than a “mono” meal (a meal with only one item).
• Eating foods with staying power (that is, foods that take longer to digest than others) will
give you plenty of energy until you can eat again.
• Eating “air foods” like popcorn or Pirate’s Booty fills you up fast, but you’ll get hungry
again very quickly.
• Speed of eating matters. Too fast can give you indigestion. Eating slowly allows your body
to digest your food more efficiently.
• Certain foods can affect your stomach and cause gas or give you a stomachache. Others
give you no problems.
• Eating too much food or foods that make you feel overfull can make you uncomfortable.
for you to do
For one full day, pay attention to some of the factors mentioned above, and use the chart that
follows to note how you feel. If you do this exercise twice—once on a school day, and once on a
weekend day—you’ll get even more information about how food affects you. (You’ll find a copy
of this chart at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443.)
Here are some of the body feelings to consider, with some examples from Olivia’s eating day
in the first two lines:
felt too full
stayed full too long
didn’t hold me very long—got hungry too soon
felt satisfied
stomach hurt
headache
indigestion (gas, bloating)
205
Time Food(s) eaten How you felt after eating
9:00 a.m. Muffin and coffee Fine, but got hungry after an
hour and couldn’t concentrate.
12:00 Cheeseburger, fries, and onion Tasted great. Ate it fast, felt too
noon rings full, and got indigestion.
206
What did you learn about how food affects you physically?
Use what you discovered in this exercise to help you make your best food choices.
activity 81  learning exactly

what nutrition is
for you to know

You may hear some of these words from your parents, teachers, coaches, or doctors on a regular
basis:
“Make sure you get enough nutrition.”
“You haven’t eaten anything nutritious all day.”
“Nutrition is the key to health.”
Any idea what nutrition actually means? It’s all about the chemicals in foods that nourish and
give energy to your body and your mind, help you grow and be strong, and keep you healthy.
207
So, in case the idea of nutrition is a bit fuzzy, I thought I’d give you some basics. Here are some
important words in the world of nutrition and what they mean:
• Nutrients are substances in food that are necessary for life.
• Macronutrients are nutrients needed in large amounts for your body to grow, function, and
have energy. These include carbohydrates, proteins, and fats.
• Carbohydrates are substances you need in the largest amount, as the body’s main source of
fuel to create energy. If you don’t get enough carbohydrates, you’ll burn proteins and fats
as fuel, which will keep them from being available for the jobs they must do.
Important note: We seem to be living in a world these days that is “carb-phobic.” You may
be getting lots of messages from friends or media that try to make you afraid of eating car-
bohydrates. But here’s an interesting fact—the only energy source that can get into your
brain is glucose, which comes from the breakdown of carbohydrates. And the brain uses
about a fifth of your total calories a day—all from carbohydrates! (And just so you know,
the word “calorie” means a unit or measure of heat energy.) If you don’t get enough carbs,
you’ll release NPY (remember, from the hunger chapter?), which will send you out on a
quest to get as many carbs as you can find!
• Fiber is a form of carbohydrate that the body can’t digest but that is needed to make your
gastrointestinal tract work properly and help you notice fullness.
• Protein makes up most cells and organs of the body. It’s necessary for growth, strong
muscles, healthy hair and nails, repairing tissues, and making hormones that regulate the
body and enzymes that are needed for all biochemical reactions in the body.
• Fats (also called lipids) don’t dissolve in water and are needed to make cell membranes
and some vitamins, carry fat-soluble vitamins into the body, make receptors for brain
chemicals, protect inner organs, and keep you warm. Fat molecules also hold the flavor in
foods and keep you satisfied longer.
• Micronutrients are chemicals needed in tiny amounts that include vitamins and minerals,
used to maintain health; regulate your heart and the rest of your body; help you grow
and have strong bones (calcium and vitamins D and K are especially important for your
bones); help prevent disease; and help your blood clot, your muscles contract, and your
nervous system function.
At http://www.newharbinger.com/41443, you’ll find a chart of macro- and micronutrients,

with some examples of foods where you can find them.
208
for you to do
Olivia used a similar chart as before, but instead of writing about how she felt after she ate, she
wrote down some of the nutrients in the foods she ate. You can use the chart to note the nutrients
in your foods. (You’ll find a copy of this chart at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443.)
Time Food(s) eaten Nutrients
9:00 Muffin and coffee Carbohydrates, fat

a.m.
12:00 Cheeseburger, fries, and onion rings Protein, carbohydrates, fat, fiber,
noon vitamins, and minerals
209
Look over your chart to see if any nutrients are missing or only in short supply. For example, was
there a lot of carbohydrate but not much fiber? Was there a lot of fat but not much protein? Were
there very few sources of vitamins and minerals?
more to do
Write down any changes you might want to make in your eating to fill in some of the nutrients
that were low or missing. For example, you might want to include more fruits and vegetables that
will give you more vitamins, minerals, and fiber, or you might want to add more foods high in
protein.
210
activity 82  exploring how play

food fits in
for you to know

Adequate nutrition may be about your physical health, but your emotional health is equally impor-
tant. As an intuitive eater, a part of your emotional health rests on feeling comfortable eating all
foods, without judgment or guilt. That’s where play food fits in. Play food is food that’s pretty low
in some of the nutrients you’ve learned about. It’s the food that most people call junk food, but as
I mentioned in an earlier chapter, I don’t like to call it junk, because I truly believe it has a place in
our lives. (After all, we throw junk in the trash!) The goal is to make all foods emotionally equal,
even if they’re not nutritionally equal. Sure, some foods contain more nutrition than others, but
you want to have the same positive feelings about eating apple pie as you do apples. This is where
your inner intuitive wisdom comes in. With the freedom to eat whatever you like any time you
like, eventually you’re going to get a pretty good balance of very nutritious food, with some play
food along the way, just like those toddlers I told you about earlier.
for you to do
To help you understand what I mean, I’m going to pose a couple of questions for you to think
about:
1. What would your life be like if you went to school all day, every day? No weekends or
holidays off? No time for being social or having fun?
My hunch is that you let out a few big groans and thought that, although you might get
super smart with all this schooling, you’d also be exhausted, frustrated, and craving time
off.
2. What would your life be like if you never went to school another day in your life? Had all
the time in the world to hang with your friends, doing a lot of nothing?
211
Here’s my second hunch—after the first few yelps of joy, you’d start thinking about how
little you’d learn, how hard it would be to get a job, and how bored you’d eventually get.
Yes, bored! Remember the whole idea of habituation from the chapter on making peace
with food? After you get the same thing over and over, its excitement level just vanishes.
Hope you’re catching the metaphor and getting the idea about how play food can fit in your
life. Just like you wouldn’t want to be forbidden from eating it, you also naturally wouldn’t want
it all the time.
more to do
Pick one play food, like cookies, chips, fries, or candy. Now plan to have some of it at every meal
for a whole week. Observe how many meals or days go by until you barely care about this food.
Write about your experience below:
212
activity 83  learning about

commonsense nutrition
for you to know

To round out this chapter on nutrition, here are a few basic guidelines that will ensure you get all
the nutrients you need in a week. I like to use a week rather than a day because I trust that your
body will get plenty of what it needs throughout the week to be healthy. You don’t have to get it
all in one day!
• Eat a variety of foods. Your best bet of getting all those carbs, protein, fat, fiber, vitamins,
and minerals is by mixing up your foods, not eating the same thing over and over. Every
food has a different mix of nutrients—so go for variety.
• Eat enough food to take care of your hunger and fullness but not so much that you feel
uncomfortably full. Remember, your body is very wise. If you eat according to hunger and
fullness, you’ll get plenty of nutrition without overloading your body.
• Balance your meals, for the most part. Just like getting a variety of foods throughout the week,
eating meals that have a balance of nutrients will give you more satisfaction, make you
feel better physically, and make it easier for you to get all those nutrients you need.
• Don’t get caught up in food fads and myths. As a nutritionist for many years, I’ve seen ideas
come and go. Whatever is seen as “bad” becomes the ideal food a few years later. It’s easy
to get sucked into the latest fad, cutting out certain foods, which can end up jeopardizing
your overall nutrition. Just sayin’…
213
for you to do
To consider the value of nutrition in your life, ask yourself these questions:
Do you believe you’ll be healthier and feel better if you eat foods that are nutrient-dense (contain
lots of nutrients)?
Do you believe your body has the wisdom to help you choose foods that will supply these
nutrients?
Do you feel free to eat some play food just for pleasure and know that you’ll still get plenty of
nutrition from other foods?
Do you need more time developing your intuitive eating skills to take action on what you’ve
learned in this chapter?
Looking back at your answers, write your thoughts about how ready you feel to incorporate what
you’ve learned about nutrition into your eating life:
214
Finally, which information in this chapter has affected you most? And how will you include it in
your life?
activity 84  putting it all together
for you to know

Congratulations! You have worked very hard to understand the principles of Intuitive Eating.
You’ve learned that intuitive eating isn’t just about instinct, but also includes getting comfortable
with your emotions and using your rational thinking.
215
for you to do
This final activity will help you put everything you’ve learned together in one place. On the left,
you’ll find all the Intuitive Eating principles, with the matching chapter titles in the next column.
Next to each, write some of the activities you’ve practiced. Finally, on a scale of 1–10, rate how well
you believe you understand and are practicing the principle, and add a simple statement about
where you are with it. Finally, figure out your approximate average score.
Olivia used this chart to help her come to the conclusion that she has become an intuitive
eater. It helped her review the ways she used the workbook, worksheets, checklists, and journal-
ing to help her stay on her path. You can see how she filled it out for the first two principles and
what her average total score was.
Intuitive Eating Chapter title Activities practiced How you rate

principle
(1–10)
Reject the Diet Chapter 1: What’s Wrong Did History of 10! I’ll never diet
Mentality with Dieting? Dieting Worksheet. again. It’s not worth
Considered Pros and it!
Cons of Dieting.
Listed the tools to
practice for getting
rid of dieting.
Discover the Chapter 2: Savor and Be Did “craving” 9. Almost there. Just
Satisfaction Factor Satisfied! exercise. Explored need to work on not
all the different getting distracted
mouth and body sometimes when I’m
sensations. Worked eating.
on the eating
environment
exercises.
Make Peace with Chapter 3: Your License
Food to Eat What You Like
216
Challenge the Chapter 4: Banishing the

Food Police Food Police
Honor Your Chapter 5: Do You Hear

Hunger Your Stomach Growling?
Feel Your Fullness Chapter 6: Full and

Comfortable
Cope with Your Chapter 7: Is Food Your

Emotions Without Frenemy?
Using Food
Respect Your Chapter 8: Your Body—

Body Temple, Fortress, or Foe?
Exercise—Feel the Chapter 9: Joyful

Difference Movement
Honor Your Chapter 10: From

Health with Gentle Nutrition to Play Food—
Nutrition Room for It All
Average score for 9.5. I may not be

all principles perfect, but I’m an
intuitive eater for
the most part. That’s
good enough for me!
You’ll find a blank chart on the next page and at http://www.newharbinger.com/41443. Use it
from time to time to see the progress you’re making.
217
Intuitive Eating Chapter title Activities practiced How you rate

principle
(1–10)
Reject the Diet Chapter 1: What’s

Mentality Wrong with
Dieting?
Discover the Chapter 2: Savor

Satisfaction Factor and Be Satisfied!
Make Peace with Chapter 3: Your

Food License to Eat
What You Like
Challenge the Chapter 4:

Food Police Banishing the
Food Police
Honor Your Chapter 5:

Hunger Do You Hear
Your Stomach
Growling?
218
Feel Your Fullness Chapter 6: Full and

Comfortable
Cope with Your Chapter 7: Is Food

Emotions Without Your Frenemy?
Using Food
Respect Your Chapter 8: Your

Body Body—Temple,
Fortress, or Foe?
Exercise—Feel Chapter 9: Joyful

the Difference Movement
Honor Your Chapter 10: From

Health with Gentle Nutrition to Play
Nutrition Food—Room for
It All
Average score for

all principles
219
more to do
If you rated any of the principles below a 9 on the scale, you can reread their chapters and prac-
tice the activities once again. By practicing over and over, you’ll find your rating improve over
time. Remember, intuitive eating is about “for the most part.” It’s not about perfection. Progress
sometimes is slow, sometimes more rapid, but eventually, you, like Olivia, will find that you feel
confident in calling yourself an intuitive eater—for the most part!
Which principles and activities need more practice?
Living the principles of Intuitive Eating will give you the freedom to trust your body to know
how to eat, find great pleasure and satisfaction in eating, and develop a relationship with food
and your body that is positive, life-affirming, and joyous!
220
Note: If you are struggling in any way and need more help than this workbook can give you,
please know that it’s perfectly appropriate to ask for it at any time. Here are some questions to ask
yourself to see if you need to speak with a trusted adult:
• Do you feel out of control when you eat?
• Do you feel scared around food?
• Do you think about food so much that it’s interfering with your life?
• Are you feeling hopeless about making changes in your eating behaviors?
• Are you having panic attacks about food or your body?
• Are you engaging in any self-harming behaviors?
• Have you been restricting amounts or types of food?
• Have you been losing weight rapidly? (Have your clothes become too loose?)
• Are you scared to ask for help?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then these are things that are beyond the scope
of this book. There is someone who can help you. A registered dietitian or nutritionist can help
you with your relationship with food. A mental health professional (psychotherapist, psychiatrist,
or counselor) can help you to understand and handle your emotions. You can also talk to your
doctor, nurse, minister, rabbi, school counselor, or other adult you can trust.
221
Acknowledgments
There are a multitude of people I would like to acknowledge and thank for your inspiration,
advice, support, and encouragement in making this workbook possible:
David Hale Smith, Inkwell Management, LLC, my agent, who has consistently seen the value
of Intuitive Eating.
Ryan Buresh, my acquisitions editor, for your dedication to the Intuitive Eating workbooks
and your desire to bring the message of Intuitive Eating to the teen world. Your responsiveness
and support have meant the world to me.
Clancy Drake, my editor and editorial manager, for your guidance and input throughout the
writing of this book.
Karen Schader, my copy editor, for all your compassionate help in polishing my words.
Evelyn Tribole, MS, RDN, for being my partner in the revolution that Intuitive Eating has
become.
Tracy Tylka, PhD, for championing significant research validating Intuitive Eating.
Russelle Westbrook, for your unending effort in creating the “right” illustrations for this
workbook.
Arlene Drake, PhD, MFT for your unselfish understanding, support, encouragement, and love
throughout the writing of this book.
Karen Freeman, MS, RDN, CSSD, my dearest friend, for a lifetime of support.
Shazi Shabatian, MS, RDN, my associate, for your patience, empathy, and advice.
All the members of the professional group I supervise, as well as my professional community
who are true believers in Intuitive Eating, and all my clients—teens, kids and adults—for your
encouragement and excitement about this workbook.
Sumner Brooks, MPH, RDN, CEDRD, founder and producer of the EDRD Pro community;
Linda Bacon, PhD, and the Health at Every Size community; Certified Intuitive Eating Counselors
and Lay Facilitators; and the Intuitive Eating Online Community, for supporting and advocating
Intuitive Eating.
My family and dear friends for your patience, caring, and understanding of my limited free
time.
Ellen Ledley, LCSW, my therapist, for keeping me sane throughout the writing of this book.
Bonnie Kalisher, my assistant, for keeping my office running smoothly and Garry Margolis,
my computer consultant, for rescuing me when my computer skills needed a boost.
Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDRD, is a nutrition therapist in
private practice in Beverly Hills, CA, with over thirty-six years
of experience specializing in eating disorders, intuitive eating,
and health at every size. She is coauthor of Intuitive Eating and
The Intuitive Eating Workbook, author of The Intuitive Eating Work-
book for Teens, and has published journal articles, print articles,
and blog posts. She also does regular speaking engagements,
podcasts, and extensive media interviews. Her work has been
profiled on CNN, KABC, NBC, KTTV, AP Press, KFI Radio, USA
Today, and The Huffington Post, among others. Resch is nationally
known for her work in helping patients break free from the diet
mentality through the intuitive eating process. Her philosophy
embraces the goal of developing body positivity and reconnect-
ing with one’s internal wisdom about eating. She supervises
Photo by Mikel Healey and trains health professionals, is a certified eating disorder
registered dietitian, a fellow of the International Association of
Eating Disorder Professionals, and a fellow of the Academy of
Nutrition and Dietetics.
More An Imprint of New Harbinger Publications
for Teens
THE SOCIAL MEDIA THE BODY IMAGE THE TEEN GIRL’S

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Skills to Help You Balance Screen Activities to Help Girls Develop Ten Tips for Making Friends,
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Charge of Your Life Image-Obsessed World Social Stress
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THE PERFECTIONISM JUST AS YOU ARE PUT YOUR WORRIES HERE

WORKBOOK FOR TEENS A Teen’s Guide to Self-Acceptance & A Creative Journal for Teens
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TEEN / SELF-HELP a n z n s t a n t h e l p b o o k f o r t e e n s
THE INTUITIVE EATING WORKBOOK FOR TEENS

a fun new
approach to
Do you eat when you’re feeling stressed out
the intuitive eating
loving food
& listening
or upset? Do you find yourself running to food simply
out of boredom? You aren’t alone. Sometimes, when life is
hard, food can seem like a great comfort. The problem is
workbook for teens
to your body’s that over time, overeating or undereating can make you feel
inner smarts miserable, both physically and mentally. It can also lower
a non-diet, body positive
your self-confidence. So, how can you put a stop to old
eating habits and feel your best? approach to building a healthy
With this fun and engaging workbook, you’ll learn to listen to your body,
mindfully enjoy your food, and cultivate unshakeable body positivity. Each chapter
relationship with food
includes an important principle of intuitive eating, and provides worksheets and
activities to help you build a better relationship with food and your body for years to
come. If you’re ready to feel the freedom that comes with trusting your body and the Q listen to your body’s wisdom
joy of satisfying eating, the ten principles outlined in this workbook will help you get
started today.
Q break out of the diet mentality
“The original Intuitive Eating book introduced us to a life-changing
concept. This teen version will do nothing less.” Q start enjoying food again
—ANDREA WACHTER, LMFT, author of Getting Over Overeating for Teens
ELYSE RESCH, MS, RDN, is a nutrition therapist in private practice in Beverly Hills, CA, with over
thirty-six years of experience specializing in eating disorders, intuitive eating, and health at every size.
She is coauthor of Intuitive Eating and The Intuitive Eating Workbook. Q RESCH
An Imprint of New Harbinger Publications

www.newharbinger.com
ELYSE RESCH, MS, RDN

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What is intuitive eating?

What is intuitive eating?

What are some benefits of intuitive eating according to the experts quoted?

What are some benefits of intuitive eating according to the experts quoted?

“Elyse Resch packs over thirty-six years of counseling wisdom and intuitive eating expertise

ELYSE RESCH, MS, RDN

Instant Help Books

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright © 2019 by Elyse Resch

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Acquired by Ryan Buresh

Edited by Karen Schader

Illustrations by Russelle Marcato Westbrook

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file

chapter 1 What’s Wrong with Dieting? 5

chapter 2 Savor and Be Satisfied! 21

chapter 3 Your License To Eat What You Like 47

chapter 5 Do You Hear Your Stomach Growling? 85

chapter 6 Full and Comfortable 103

chapter 7 Is Food Your Frenemy? 121

chapter 8 Your Body: Temple, Fortress, or Foe? 153

chapter 9 Joyful Movement 181

The Principles of Intuitive Eating

How to Use This Workbook

3. On the New Harbinger website—http://www.newharbinger.com/41443—you’ll find

What’s Wrong with Dieting?

activity 1  understanding the

for you to know

• Dieting can lead to eating disorders.

• Diets reinforce body negativity, rather than promoting body positivity.

• Dieting can slow your metabolism.

• Basically, dieting will make you miserable!

During or after a diet: Yes No

Have you had big cravings for carbohydrates?

Have you felt out of control when satisfying these cravings?

Have you had mood swings?

Have you had trouble sleeping?

Have you felt overly tired?

If you’re a girl, have you missed a period (or more)?

Do you avoid social situations where people are eating?

Are you self-conscious about eating with others?

Do you feel guilty when you eat certain foods?

Do you get distracted by thinking about how much you’ve eaten?

Are you afraid you won’t stop eating?

Do you have “good” and “bad” food lists?

Do you eat when stressed or bored?

Do you eat when angry or lonely?

Do you talk about dieting or food a lot?

Do you avoid getting close to people?

activity 2  weighing the pros

for you to know

Pros of dieting Cons of dieting

Pros Cons

Which column had more?

activity 3  feeling the power

for you to know

What were you deprived of? How did you feel?

activity 4  dieting leads to

chapter 1 What’s Wrong with Dieting? 5

chapter 2 Savor and Be Satisfied! 21

chapter 3 Your License To Eat What You Like 47

chapter 5 Do You Hear Your Stomach Growling? 85

chapter 6 Full and Comfortable 103

chapter 7 Is Food Your Frenemy? 121

chapter 8 Your Body: Temple, Fortress, or Foe? 153

chapter 9 Joyful Movement 181

Which tool do you want to start with?

What foods are in your meal?