OGL 340 – AIKIDO Way Tiffany Meskimen

Final Reflections

Prompt #1:
In Module 1, you watched "Invictus," a clip from the movie "Gandhi," and a 60 Minute
Segment on Mindfulness. The idea was to have you look at attitude and a mental model
about conflict, review the attitudes of two powerful leaders, and consider your own
approach to conflict. Did this Module help set a foundation upon which to develop the rest
of the course? What worked and didn't work?
Module 1 introduced what was to come over the next few weeks. What I found was that the
lessons taught in the Invictus clip from Gandhi, along with the lesson and segment on
mindfulness prepared me to move through the coming modules.
The premise of these teachings is threefold:
1. Reactions to situation can make or break the situation
2. There is always an answer to a conflict
3. Setting your mind straight going into the conflict makes things come more clearly
Prompt #2:
In Module 2, you were introduced to the martial art, Aikido. The purpose of this module
was to use a martial art that deals with "physical conflict" in a different way, a way that
provided a metaphor for how to deal with conflict in the workplace. What did you take
away from this Module? Did you see a connection between the principles of Aikido and the
principles of dealing professionally with workplace conflict?
The Module 2 introduction to Aikido set the premise of the practice of Aikido through finding
our center, welcoming the “gift” of energy, blending, and leading the conflict in the direction you
want it to go. This method is helpful not only in the workplace, but I have been practicing it
when dealing with any conflict that has come up in my life, both personal and professionally. I
especially find centering to be beneficial. It helps me to get out of my own head and pull
everything into one place, to “clear the mechanism” (Raimi,1999). Once that is done, I find I am
more focused and can see my way through the conflict.
Prompt #3:
In Module 3, you were introduced to the first conflict transformation skill, "Spitting Out
the Hook." Did you learn the skill? Will it help you deal with conflict? Was this quiz (and
were the quizzes} fair, too hard, or too easy? Did the quizzes help you gain more from the
text?
Module three taught us to practice “spitting out the hook”. This skill is listening to the other
person’s conflicts or problems without getting sucked in and “hooked”. When this happens, we
are not truly able to find the real problem. Instead, we are baited into addressing all of the other
persons problems, all the while not identifying the real event. This all too often leads to the
conflict growing and very seldom finding a common answer. It also creates circular
communication, where adrenaline and irrational thinking take over. When this happens, the
conflict almost never comes to an end.
OGL 340 – AIKIDO Way Tiffany Meskimen
Final Reflections

I found the quizzes to be easy when using common sense. Although some of them had a trick or
two. When we are really able to focus and dig deep, centering our thoughts, the right way to deal
with conflict naturally comes to us.
Prompt #4:
In Module 4, you were introduced to the second conflict transformation skill,
"H.E.A.R." Did you learn the skill? Will it help you deal with conflict? Some of you
already use an active listening skill; was learning H.E.A.R. too redundant or was it
valuable to review?
In Module four, H.E.A.R. teaches us to listen, not only with just our ears, but our whole body.
Attitude, body language, noise and other things prevent us from communicating effectively with
the most important skill, listening.
Using H.E.A.R. can become difficult when/if you get “hooked”. I had a bit of a hard time with
this skill. I believe it is because I tend to get hooked and once that happens, your natural instinct
to “fight” takes over and any chance of listening to and for the other persons EVENT and
REACTION are gone. I think it is a valuable tool, however, it might be better coupled with
“spitting out the hook”.
Prompt #5:
In Module 5, you were introduced to the third conflict transformation skill, "BURN
CLEAN." Did you learn the skill? Will it help you deal with conflict? Will it help you
express your "wants" without throwing out hooks?
Being assertive is an important part of conflict management. If you do not know the true
event…your true event and cannot articulate it clearly to the other party/parties, chances are you
are not going to reach an amicable solution to your conflict. In Module five, we learned great
steps to help express our own thoughts, feelings and desires in a manner in which does not put
the other person on the defensive. This skill is the one I like best, as it is what I can control. Too
many times we find ourselves in a conflict because of other people’s conflicts and we cannot do
anything about the way they are articulating them.
Prompt #6:
In Module 6, you were introduced to the fourth conflict transformation skill, "SAY
YES." Did you learn the steps in this skill? Will you be able to use it to help you
transform conflict? How confident do you feel about using the SAY YES Model?
While the BURN CLEAN skill is my favorite…module six was my favorite lesson. I guess
because this was not a lesson for me, it is my way of life. I talked about F.A.W.T.S.Y. (Find A
Way To Say Yes) in my discussion board and I feel the Say Yes method is interchangeable with
F.A.W.T.S.Y. I like to help others find an answer to their conflicts and sometimes thinking
outside of the box while mediating lets us find creative ways to problem solving. And I have
found that when I employ this method of conflict resolution, I can always walk away knowing
that I gave that person something to be happy about. Even if it wasn’t exactly what they wanted
in the beginning.
OGL 340 – AIKIDO Way Tiffany Meskimen
Final Reflections

Prompt #7:
Is there something you wish you had learned or some topic we needed to spend more or less
time on? Add any final thoughts you think would be helpful in improving this
course. Overall, was the workload fair and manageable, light or too much?
I would have liked to explore “spitting out the hook” and H.E.A.R. a little more and possibly in
the same lesson. As one can’t be done without learning the other. The workload in the course
was great. I am taking a course right now with an excessive amount of coursework (with three
writing assignments a week), so I appreciate your thoughtfulness in not creating an assignment
for the sake of creating an assignment. The opportunity to reach out and discuss content with
other students is great, however, I do find that discussion boards with only one response can
sometimes leave a conversation hanging. Furthermore, a group video conference would be a fun
addition to the course, although it is understandably difficult in an online platform.
OGL 340 – AIKIDO Way Tiffany Meskimen
Final Reflections

References

Raimi, S. (Director). (1999) For love of the game (Motion Picture).