What Is Toxic Positivity

What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is,
people should maintain a positive mindset. It's a "good vibes only" approach
to life. And while there are benefits to being an optimist and engaging
in positive thinking, toxic positivity instead rejects difficult emotions in favor
of a cheerful, often falsely positive, facade.
We all know that having a positive outlook on life is good for your mental
well-being. The problem is that life isn't always positive. We all deal with
painful emotions and experiences.
And those emotions, while often unpleasant and hard to deal with, are
important and need to be felt and dealt with openly and honestly.
Toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralized extreme. This

attitude doesn't just stress the importance of optimism, it minimizes and
denies any trace of human emotions that aren't strictly happy or positive.
Why It’s Harmful

Toxic positivity can actually harm people who are going through difficult
times. Rather than being able to share authentic human emotions and gain
unconditional support, people find their feelings dismissed, ignored, or
outright invalidated.
The “positive vibes only” mantra has become particularly grating to many in
light of the COVID-19 global pandemic. During the pandemic, people have
faced illness, lockdowns, shelter in place orders, business shutdowns,
working from home, homeschooling challenges, job loss, and financial
struggles.
People are faced not only with massive disruptions in their lives, but also
pressure to stay productive and be positive during a time that is difficult and
traumatic on many levels.
Signs
Toxic positivity can often be subtle, but by learning to recognize the signs
can help you better identify this type of behavior. Some signs include:
 Brushing off problems rather than facing them.

 Feeling guilty about being sad, angry, or disappointed.
 Hiding your true feelings behind feel-good quotes that seem more socially
acceptable.
 Hiding or disguising how you really feel.
 Minimizing other people's feelings because they make you uncomfortable.
 Shaming other people when they don't have a positive attitude.
 Trying to be stoic or "get over" painful emotions.
How to Avoid Toxic Positivity

If you’ve been affected by toxic positivity—or if you recognize this kind of
behavior in yourself— there are things that you can do to develop a
healthier, more supportive approach. Some ideas include:
 Manage your negative emotions, but don't deny them. Negative

emotions can cause stress when unchecked,2 but they can also provide
important information that can lead to beneficial changes in your life.
 Be realistic about what you should feel. When you are facing a stressful
situation, it’s normal to feel stressed, worried, or even fearful. Don’t expect
too much from yourself. Focus on self-care and taking steps that can help
improve your situation.
 It’s okay to feel more than one thing. If you are facing a challenge, it’s
possible to feel nervous about the future and also hopeful that you will
succeed. Your emotions are as complex as the situation itself.
 Focus on listening to others and showing support. When someone
expresses a difficult emotion, don’t shut them down with toxic platitudes.
Instead, let them know that what they are feeling is normal and that you are
there to listen.
 Notice how you feel. Following “positive” social media accounts can
sometimes serve as a source of inspiration but pay attention to how you feel
after you view and interact with such content. If you are left with a sense of
shame or guilt after seeing “uplifting” posts, it might be due to toxic
positivity. In such cases, consider limiting your social media consumption.
Give yourself permission to feel your feelings. Instead of trying to avoid

difficult emotions, give yourself permission to feel them. These feelings are
real, valid, and important. They can provide information and help you see
things about a situation that you need to work to change.
This doesn't necessarily mean that you should act on every emotion that you
feel. Sometimes it is important to sit with them and give yourself the time
and space to process the situation before you take action.
So when you are going through something hard, think about ways to give
voice to your emotions in a way that is productive. Write in a journal. Talk to
a friend. Research suggests that just putting what you are feeling into words
can help lower the intensity of those negative feelings. 3
Toxic Statements
 Just stay positive!

 Good vibes only!
 It could be worse.
 Things happen for a reason.
 Failure isn't an option.
 Happiness is a choice.
Non-Toxic Alternatives
 I'm listening.
 I'm here no matter what.
 That must be really hard.
 Sometimes bad things happen. How can I help?
 Failure is sometimes part of life.
 Your feelings are valid.
A Word From Verywell

Toxic positivity is often subtle, and we’ve all engaged in this type of thinking
at one point or another. By learning to recognize it, however, you’ll be better
able to rid yourself of this type of thinking and provide (and receive) more
authentic support when you are going through something that isn’t easy.
Start noticing toxic statements and strive to let yourself and others feel your
emotions, both the positive and the negative.

What Is Toxic Positivity

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What Is Toxic Positivity

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What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralized extreme. This

Why It’s Harmful

 Brushing off problems rather than facing them.

How to Avoid Toxic Positivity

 Manage your negative emotions, but don't deny them. Negative

Give yourself permission to feel your feelings. Instead of trying to avoid

 Just stay positive!

A Word From Verywell

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