How does letting go actually work? - John Purkiss 22.12.

2019, 01:08

How does letting go actually work?

February 6, 2017 (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/) John Purkiss (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/author/john/)

— 15 Comments (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comments)

The short answer is that it happens in several ways which I will describe in ‘The Power of Letting Go’. (Jacq Burns has Search
been editing it.) In the meantime, here is a particularly interesting technique which anyone can use. David R. Hawkins search here … Search
M.D., Ph.D. (see photo) was a psychiatrist who wrote ‘Letting Go – the Pathway of Surrender’, published by Hay House.
Chapter 2 is called ‘The Mechanism of Letting Go’, in which he says:

* “It is not thoughts or facts that are painful but the feelings that accompany them.”
* “It is the accumulated pressure of feelings that causes thoughts.” (One feeling can cause thousands of thoughts.)
* “Therefore, when we relinquish or let go of a feeling, we are freeing ourselves from all the associated thoughts.”

He then goes on to describe how most of us handle feelings, through suppression, repression and escape. None of them
solves the underlying problem. Here is his solution:

“The technique is to be with the feeling and surrender all efforts to modify it in any way.” “A feeling that is not resisted will
disappear as the energy behind it dissipates.”

As usual, I have been experimenting on myself. I have noticed that, if I am feeling unhappy about something that has
happened – or not happened – I usually respond in one of two ways: (a) I suppress the feeling and try to focus on
something positive; (b) I try to escape the feeling by taking lots of action. That includes taking action to try to address
what I perceive to be the external cause of the unhappiness. The problem is that I still feel bad inside, which generates
lots of unhelpful thoughts.
Whenever I notice what is happening, I stop, sit down, close my eyes and feel the feeling, without judging it, labelling it,
or trying to do anything else about it. I simply feel it for as long as it takes, which is often a minute or two, but could be
longer in some cases.

Afterwards, I usually feel lighter. There are fewer thoughts, particularly negative ones. Sometimes I have ideas about new
possibilities. I feel a lot better.

I encourage you to try this for yourself. All comments / feedback welcome.

15 Comments » for How does letting go actually work?

Dan Belloso says:

October 23, 2017 at 8:41 am (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-48799)

I see the need to letting go in our extremely hectic lifestyles. I see that at work, society and even geopolitics. This
powerful concept may not be new but is particularly needed nowadays. Stop and letting go may be a good way to
progress.

Reply

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Conor Neill (http://www.conorneill.com) says:

May 20, 2018 at 5:31 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-49426)

Just read the book! was searching for some more material online, and your blog popped up. Great to read, thanks for
sharing.

Reply

John Purkiss (http://johnpurkiss.com) says:

May 20, 2018 at 5:35 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-49427)

Thanks, Conor. It’s a pleasure.

Reply

Aaron Keeney says:

March 3, 2019 at 10:56 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50251)

I have read the book & used the techniques myself. What I don’t understand is he talks about people surrendering to
the sensations of bad symptoms & they eventually went away, but how does that work with positive good sensations
or things? If I surrender to the feeling of health or strong muscles does it go away? If not why not?

Reply

John Purkiss (http://www.purkiss-company.com) says:

March 4, 2019 at 1:19 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50256)

Hello Aaron – David Hawkins is no longer ‘in the body’, so we can’t ask him. However, my understanding is
that we should let all sensations pass through us unhindered. It’s unhelpful to cling to the sensation of
good health or strong muscles. We can then keep doing what’s required to remain healthy and strong.

Reply

Zaks says:
March 19, 2019 at 3:44 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50303)

Does anyone know of a practioner in the tri state area that practices the surrender / letting go methodology?

Reply

John Purkiss (http://www.purkiss-company.com) says:

March 21, 2019 at 8:25 am (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50308)

Please can you tell me what you mean by the tri state area?

Reply

Martyna (https://ecohealthlab.com) says:

May 25, 2019 at 9:19 am (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50491)

Hi
I have just finished reading the book “the power of letting go” for the first time.
I have a few questions.

is the key technique about listening to the feelings, hearing them, feeling them and surrendering. Without trying to
understand or visualising what may be happening or seeking the cause?
Should we do than anything else? When the feeling is gone, should we try to understand it intellectually?

Thanks
Martyna

Reply

John Purkiss (http://www.purkiss-company.com) says:

May 26, 2019 at 7:11 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50492)

Hello Martyna – in The Power of Letting Go I’ve broken the process down into three stages: (1) Observing
our thoughts and letting them go, (2) Feeling the pain which generates thousands of thoughts, and letting
it go (the completion technique), (3) Surrender, which is when we let go completely.

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There’s no need to understand what’s going on. All you need to do is visualise what happened, and feel the
feelings that accompanied it. There’s no need to look for a cause. What happened happened. Once you’re
complete/whole, you can get on with your life.

There’s no need to understand the feeling intellectually. In fact, if you’ve used the completion technique
thoroughly, you may have difficulty remembering what it was that used to cause you so much pain. In my
case, events in the past are like books in a library. I can go into the library and take a book off the shelf from
time to time, but the event it describes no longer runs my life.

Once you’ve let go completely you’re ready to start manifesting what you want in life. Please send me a
message via this website if you want to know more about that.

Reply

Derrick says:
May 29, 2019 at 9:22 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50493)

Hello John! I really enjoyed reading your article. Would you please explain to me a few things
about the process though?

1. Do i need to get to my thoughts that generate negative feelings first? Do i need to go thru every single thought
that relates to a certain subject? I also noticed that you said that we have to let go of our negative thoughts that
relate to a certain negative situation in our life, but how do i let these negative thoughts go? What exactly should i do
with them?

2. Do i need to just focus on the negative feelings and basically focus as much as possible until they will go away?

3. Do i need to do everything separately like first i need to focus on a certain thought, let it go, focus on emotion, let
the emotion go, then get to another thought that relates to the same subject, let it go, etc etc.. or do i need to go
thru all my thoughts about a certain subject, let all of them go and focus on the feelings?

Thank you!

Reply

John Purkiss (http://www.purkiss-company.com) says:

May 31, 2019 at 7:51 am (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50494)

Thanks Derrick

1) It’s the negative feelings that give rise to negative thoughts. As David Hawkins says, “It is the
accumulated pressure of feelings that causes thoughts.” (One feeling can cause thousands of thoughts.) I
recommend you turn inwards and scan your body until you find the negative feeling. It could be a feeling
about a particular event, or a more general negative feeling. If you relax and listen to the negative
thoughts, it will help you to find the negative feeling that’s causing them.

2) You don’t need to focus on the negative feelings intensely. Just rest your attention and feel them fully. If
you do this patiently, the negative feeling will begin to subside. It may require several sessions. It’s very
much like grieving. If you allow yourself to feel the pain from beginning to end, it eventually leaves your
body.

3) You don’t need to focus on any thoughts. Just notice them coming and going. Then look for the pain
which is causing negative thoughts and feel it from beginning to end (as above).

If you do this, you will notice that your mind becomes quieter. You will still have thoughts, but they are
likely to be positive, creative ones.

I hope this helps you

JP

Reply

Derrick says:

May 31, 2019 at 9:15 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50495)

Thank you so much for your response!

What do you think is the best way to do it? Should i do this every time i feel negative emotions?
Like let’s say that i started to feel negative by thinking about something on the while going to the
shop. Should i basically focus on the feelings no matter where i am or just spare sometime like 30
mins a day and do this at home? Or it doesn’t matter at all?

Also, i noticed that i started to feel negative in general. Is it because i started to practice this
technique and my negative feelings started to show up?

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Once again, thank you for your information! It’s very helpful.

Reply

John Purkiss (http://www.purkiss-company.com) says:

June 4, 2019 at 7:25 am (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-

work/#comment-50500)

Hello Derrick – you don’t need to spend 30 minutes at a time on it. I do two things: (1) If
I’m feeling negative, I stop what I’m doing, sit down, close my eyes and look inside
myself to find the pain (which is always located somewhere in my body). I then place
my attention on the pain, without judging it, suppressing it or trying to avoid it. I keep
doing this for 1-5 minutes. (2) I sometimes do the same exercise for longer periods at
home, particularly before going to bed. I feel much better afterwards. If more and more
negative feelings come up, I regard that as helpful. They’re leaving my system. I feel
them and let them go. You can read more about this in my book, ‘The Power of Letting
Go’: https://bu-evolution.com/product/the-power-of-letting-go/ (https://bu-
evolution.com/product/the-power-of-letting-go/)

Reply

Ramon says:
June 1, 2019 at 7:57 pm (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50496)

Hello John,

Thank you for sharing your experience with the technique.

After listening to Dr. Hawkins book twice, I still had the annoying feeling of not really grasping the meaning of letting
go.

Your shared experience has helped me clarify my doubts.

Warmest regards.

Reply

John Purkiss (http://www.purkiss-company.com) says:

June 3, 2019 at 10:36 am (http://www.johnpurkiss.com/letting-go-actually-work/#comment-50498)

Hello Ramon – it’s a pleasure. Kind regards, JP

Reply

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