Unsuck Your Career
Unsuck Your Career
Unsuck Your Career
Your
Career
The no-bullsh*t guide to getting your
dream job and thriving in tomorrow’s
marketplace.
Dominic Soh
This book is dedicated to God, and to my dear friends and
family, who have always been there for me and have always
believed in me even when I doubted myself at times.
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced
or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of
the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
ISBN 978-0-6482196-0-6
CONTENTS
1. MY STORY
2. WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR AND NOT
3. WHY TALK ABOUT CAREERS
// GET YOUR DREAM JOB
4. 3 Ps TO BE THE DREAM CANDIDATE
5. PERSON (PART 1)
Do you have what it takes to be a superb professional?
6. PERSON (PART 2)
What’s your personal brand?
7. PROCESS (PART 1)
Who do you know?
8. PROCESS (PART 2)
How to be a job hunting superstar.
9. PRODUCT
What are you working on right now? What value can you bring to
the table?
// EXCEL IN THE MARKETPLACE
10. GETTING THE JOB IS ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG
11. INVEST IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
12. DEALING WITH PEOPLE
13. DEALING WITH CHANGE
14. DEALING WITH STRESS
15. DEALING WITH FAILURE
16. DEALING WITH FEAR
17. KEEP LEARNING
18. KEEP GIVING BACK
19. CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY
20. HUNGER, OBSESSION, ENERGY AND SUCCESS
21. CLOSING WORDS
1. MY STORY
I was born and raised in the sunny and beautiful island and country
called Singapore.
1
I graduated from my studies in late 2012, applied and received my PR
(Permanent Residency) status in early 2013 and got 2 job offers as
well. One was sales/tech support role in a fast-growing tech startup
while the other was a management trainee position for an ice cream
business along Lygon Street.
However, life has a funny way of doing things and things did take a
turn.
2
And what happens when an employee doesn’t perform up to
standard for a prolonged period of time?
But the harsh reality is that sometimes you don’t get what you want,
or in this case, what I truly needed for my professional growth.
3
On the flipside, there was a part of me that felt free. It was as if I was
liberated from something which was soul-draining, something
which was in sheer misalignment to my skillset.
So I went back into the swing of things applying for jobs – primarily
entry level ones and graduate positions.
And I got the typical results. It’s either I don’t hear from the
company at all or I receive the “politically correct” letter of rejection
for the application.
Dear Dominic,
Thank you for submitting your resume and for showing interest in
XYZ Company.
4
However, we would like to keep your details on file. Should a
similar or suitable role become available that matches your profile
we will be sure to contact you. In the future should you wish to
submit your application for any opportunities, please continue to
visit our website at www.XYZCompany.com.au/careers
Again, please accept our thanks for your interest in our firm.
Kindest regards,
XYZ Company HR Team
Sounds familiar?
5
The print and online magazine was basically a compilation of jobs
and careers advice sourced from online writers, hiring managers,
recruiters and HR experts. We (my project partner and I) also
included some study tips and advice since our target audience
consists of university students and fresh job seekers.
Looking back at the job search process, I realised that I had been
applying for jobs in mechanical engineering and
business/management consulting simply because I was qualified in
them, but not because I was truly passionate about going into those
fields.
6
With this in mind, I decided to apply for jobs in the training, learning
and development space, since I thoroughly enjoyed conducting my
first personal development seminar in Singapore (before flying off
for Melbourne) and had several opportunities to do careers
workshops for universities.
I had a compelling reason now because I love bringing out the best
in others and I believe that everyone deserves to excel in work and in
life.
For the 7 training jobs which I applied for, I got 4 invitations for an
interview, and 2 of them led to offers, and I gladly accepted one of
them. The time span between sending out the revised resume and
job offer was a mere 12 days.
7
You can find my career story and insights featured on several
Australian news outlets including The Age, Sydney Morning Herald,
News.com.au and The Herald Sun.
It’s because I’ve been through the job search process myself and
know that it’s not easy and it’s only going to get more competitive.
8
2. WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR AND NOT
Before we jump into the materials of this book, I think that it’s
important to properly define who this book caters to ideally, and
who this book is not for.
It’s for the student who seeks to prepare himself for the workplace
even before he graduates because he knows that the things taught in
the classroom is never sufficient to guarantee success in the
boardroom.
It’s for the job seeker who wishes to get a head start above his peers
in the job hunt. For the candidate who desires to get his dream job
despite the existing market conditions and competition in the jobs
pool.
It’s for the person who sees the value in self development and
professional growth.
It’s for the one who wants to live a fuller life, to make an impact
around him and to leave a lasting legacy at the end of the day.
9
It’s also for the one who recognises that being a professional is not
just about living from paycheck to paycheck, clocking hours and
blindly following the crowd and routines. It’s for him who wants to
make a difference in the marketplace and to leave the workplace way
better than the state in which he arrived in.
It’s for the individual who wants or is already able to see beyond his
own needs and wants. For the person who wants to challenge the
status quo, rock the boat, push the envelope and play a bigger game.
It’s for the go-getter who is determined and even obsessed about
making things happen and getting things done. For the one who
doesn’t find excuses, but finds a way instead. And for the one who
would do whatever it takes to move things forward, and to not let
anything stand in his way.
This book is not for those who are obsessed about consuming
information without doing anything about what they learnt. Think
seminar-junkies who just love to attend seminars, workshops and
conferences year in and year out. I do admire their passion and
enthusiasm for such learning and developmental opportunities, but
what’s the point of taking in so much knowledge if he doesn’t put it
into practice?
10
This book isn’t for those who are simply content with the way things
are. If you are easily satisfied with the status quo and think that there
isn’t much need or urgency to improve yourself and your
boundaries, then you might want to pass this book to someone else.
This book isn’t for those who want an easy way out in the job search
process. Truth is, it’s going to be hard work and it’s going to cost
you. If one isn’t willing to do whatever it takes, then he shouldn’t
expect much returns and results from his efforts.
Also, this book isn’t for the one who actions things on impulse.
Think of the friend who attended a 3-day health seminar. He’s back
and he’s announced to the whole world that for the next 3 weeks,
he’s going to exercise daily and avoid sugar and carbs. Sounds like a
great plan! However, as the days go by you realise that he’s losing
steam and just a week into his regime, he threw in the towel and his
physical lifestyle is back to the same way as it was before the
seminar.
11
and techniques is only 1% of the equation - it’s the easy part. The
other tough part, the 99% bit, is all about action and
implementation. It’s about putting what you’ve learnt into practice,
evaluating the results and reiterating again, so that you don’t make
the same mistakes over and over again.
The fact that you have picked up this book and read till this point is
already an indicator that you are serious about your career and
professional development.
So roll up your sleeves and brace yourself for the dive! This
adventure is going to be exciting!
12
3. WHY TALK ABOUT CAREERS
13
Therefore, you can safely say that you career should go hand in hand
with your life’s calling.
The funny thing is that we can be so obsessed about planning for our
holidays which, truth to be told, don’t really end up that life-
changing and earth-shaking at the end of the day.
And when it comes to our careers, it’s easy for us to enter into it
without much thought and assume things will work itself out along
the way.
The thing is that we would be engaged in our careers for the majority
of our lives once we finish school.
14
And wouldn’t it be important for one to have proper thought and
consideration about something which he would be doing for the rest
of his life?
Imagine someone who absolutely loves what he does and does what
he loves. You would be able to sense and smell him from over a
hundred miles away. His drive, excitement and passion would
emanate from him even without him saying a word. You could just
feel his vibe and his strong presence when he steps into the room.
And when he opens his mouth, your heart and being would be set
ablaze as well.
In a nutshell, whether you love or hate what you do, it will find its
way to leak out from you.
15
It’s the same reason how people who are generous and gracious to
others tend to love their own selves and have a high self-esteem. This
is because it’s hard to love others if you don’t love and respect
yourself in the first place.
Whatever that happens inside of you will eventually find its way to
manifest itself in your external world.
With this in mind, if one is dissatisfied with his career, others will
somehow find out about it. He might share it with those around him,
or his body language would do the talking.
16
17
// GET YOUR DREAM JOB
18
4. 3 Ps TO BE THE DREAM CANDIDATE
What you are looking for is somewhere out there and someone out
there is able to help you get it. This applies to your dreams, goals,
ambitions, possessions, etc.
So, your dream job is out there waiting for you to seize. You might
aspire to become an engineer, a social media specialist, a blogger, a
celebrity, an athlete, or you might be seeking a particular position
like a manager, supervisor, CEO, director, etc.
It’s out there and you just have to be the right person for the job.
19
Too many people focus too much on pursuing their dream jobs
without considering whether they have what it takes to get the job in
the first place.
If you want to go after your dream girl, but you haven’t gotten your
life in order and in check, what do you think your odds are?
The Person. Are you developing yourself? Do you have what it takes?
Can you perform under pressure? Do you have the drive and
initiative?
The Process. How familiar and confident are you in the job search
process? Are you strategic in your approach to reach out to
employers?
20
The Product. What can you offer? Do you have great value to offer to
employers that make yourself irresistible to them?
21
5. PERSON (PART 1)
Do you have what it takes to be a superb professional?
Before even jumping into the mechanics and intricacies of the job
search process, it’s important to examine yourself first.
I will never forget this moment where I had the great opportunity to
be a career consultant to university students for an information day.
The event had speakers who talked about student support services,
student rights, immigration issues and employment matters.
There were more than 200+ students who came for that event and I
had a table where I got to sit down with students and review their
resumes.
22
What struck me was that the most-asked question was how do I
format my resume?
23
pangs. When the waiter lays the plate in front of you, your
exhilaration was suddenly relegated to a saddening dissatisfaction.
The steak looked utterly disappointing. It was not what you were
expecting. Your appetite goes down the drain and the reasons to
complain piles up.
Even being armed with the best designed resume (sizzle), you would
miss the mark if you don’t have substance to back it up (steak).
24
I can’t help it but to show you these.
For instance, if you had a close friend who is an avid art lover and
you could purchase one of these pieces and have it nicely framed,
wrapped and delivered, how much would you be willing to fork out?
It’s that they are not for sale. It’s not because someone else has
already placed a reservation months in advance. It’s because the
artist thinks that his work is “not good enough”.
25
I think it’s quite sad because the artist sees that his work doesn’t
make the mark and that it is far from being worthy enough to be
bought, while others and prospective buyers saw great value in those
pieces of art, and are willing to pay hundreds of dollars for them.
Does this ring a bell about either ourselves or some of those around
us?
What have you been saying to yourself (in your head) about your
own abilities? What kinds of thoughts do you usually entertain?
Do you truly believe that you have something amazing to offer to the
world, or do you put down your talents and abilities and think that
you will only be good enough one day?
26
I’ve come across people who are extremely confident - they can be
very expressive, outgoing and opinionated - but fall short on having
the actual abilities to make things happen.
On the other hand, I’ve had my fair share of friends who are
absolutely proficient in their craft but aren’t really confident enough
to showcase their value to the rest of the world.
Here are the 3 mindsets and the 3 skillsets that have served me really
well in my own personal and professional growth. I’ll talk about
them briefly here because the following chapters would touch on
some of them.
27
Mindset 3: Your fears are only as scary as you allow them to be
I’m not saying that I want you to fail in life, or that you should go
about looking to fail at things.
What I’m trying to get at is that the best opportunities lie outside our
comfort zones and pursuing things outside our comfort zones
exposes us to a greater risk of failing – since we are threading in
unfamiliar territory and doing things which might be uncomfortable.
The risk of failure is there and it may be high, but that’s not your
business.
Do you wail and whine and blame the entire world for what has
happened to you? Or do you pick yourself up and move on?
28
Do you see it as damage to your identity and reputation? Or do you
view it as a learning opportunity to better yourself for future
attempts?
What’s out there? What happens when you actually achieve them?
What’s stopping you? If you stuff up, what’s the worst that could
happen? If you fail, is it really that bad?
The one key thing which struck me when I read Robert Kiyosaki’s
“Rich Dad, Poor Dad” was that when presented with a luxury item
(like a car, house, gadget, handbag, etc), most poor people would say
something like “I can’t afford it.” However, the rich would ask
themselves “How can I afford it?”
29
Do you think like the poor or like the rich?
Do you just talk about the problem at hand, or do you devise ways to
formulate a solution?
Too many students claim that the jobs market is tough and getting a
job is never going to get easier. I can’t agree with them more because
I’ve been through it myself.
However, merely talking about the reality of the jobs market is not
going to get you the job.
Telling yourself that you don’t have enough experience to fulfil the
job requirements is not going to change anything.
I want you to ask yourself “How can I work this out?” or “How can I
make things happen?” whenever you are faced with a gargantuan
challenge in your job search.
30
If the job requirements ask for 1-3 years of management consulting
experience for an entry-level position, how do you think you could
create that experience for yourself? What could you do about it?
31
After they confirmed my booking, measured by weight and gave me
the safety briefing, they got me to proceed to the jump platform
which protruded from a cliff face.
Soon after, I found myself being fitted with the harness and strapped
up, and in no time, I took the jump of my life.
I survived, of course!
The fear was real. My palms were cold and sweaty and my heart was
racing. But I knew deep down inside of me that I could either let the
fear get the better of me and back down from the jump, or I could
choose to feel and acknowledge the fear and do the jump anyway.
Back to the idea about opportunities which lie outside your comfort
zone. What are you afraid of? Public speaking? Meeting new people
in a networking session? Reaching out to strangers? Cold calling?
Door knocking?
32
Your fears are only as scary as you allow them to be.
If you make a big deal out of them, they will be a big deal to you, and
I can guarantee that they will get in your way.
However, if you choose to not make them a big deal, they you will
most likely overcome them.
But before you go there, do take a hard look at how you view
yourself.
What is your level of self-esteem? How do you see and perceive the
person you see in the mirror every morning? Are you satisfied with
what you see? Or are you outraged and disappointed with what the
mirror presents?
33
For instance, if I have low self-esteem and I despise myself, that
would leak out into my friendships and social circles. Because I don’t
see much worth in myself, I won’t have much to give and invest in
others, which means that I won’t really see my friendships and
relationships in the best light.
A famous bible verse says “To love your neighbour as yourself.” How
would one be able to love others if he doesn’t even love himself in
the first place?
34
Whenever we communicate, we are selling either an identity (“I am
hungry!”), information (“There’s a nice steakhouse 2 blocks down
the road.”) or influence (“Now that we are done with this project,
shall we have dinner at the steakhouse down the road?”).
I would never forget the coffee conversation I had with Teigan, the
former Training and HR Program Manager at Ericsson. She said
“More and more jobs are being outsourced or replaced by
technology and automation. Those that are left remain because they
require the human element. It’s having people skills that will make
you indispensable in the workplace.”
35
Many people, especially international students, love hanging out
among themselves.
However, if you just stick to your same group of friends and people
similar to you, then you might be missing out on getting to know
people who are different to you.
36
I’ve had many of those, and they are possible because I chose to
network and reach out to people who are way ahead of me in the
game.
Change is the only constant, and to be ahead of the game, one needs
to be able to learn and adapt.
37
The starting point to begin honing this skill is to embrace and
appreciate changes which may come in your life from this point on.
Start to see change as an opportunity to learn and grow and discover
new things.
Leadership is not just a skill that is limited to the workforce and the
marketplace.
38
Leadership is a life skill, and my stand is that every one ought to
develop his own leadership skill as an individual before applying it to
a team or organisation.
I read an article on Inc which talks about the top 10 skills every great
leader needs to succeed. It was based on asking more than 330,000
bosses, peers and subordinates to rank the top 10 leadership skills
which are necessary for success.
I’ll also add on how you can develop each skill on your own and start
applying it in your own life.
Great leaders inspire others with a strong vision and they bring out
the best in others even when they don’t believe in the cause or in
themselves.
39
Great leaders are trustworthy and they can be relied on. They are
wholehearted in their words and efforts.
To start off: When you say you are going to do something, stick to it,
even when circumstances and emotions change. When you are tried
and tested, can you stick it out?
3. Solves problems
Great leaders don’t only strive to see the problems from different
perspectives. They are solutions-oriented and they empower their
members to solve the problems together.
To start off: Don’t just describe the problems you face in your life. Be
proactive and start prescribing solutions. In group projects, be the
one who suggests and vocalises possible solutions to problems.
4. Results-driven
40
Great leaders don’t sit back to wait for things to happen. They get
their teams together to make things happen.
6. Builds relationships
41
To start off: Strive to add value to your existing relationships. Send a
note of appreciation or encouragement to a friend with no
expectations. Extend kindness unconditionally.
Great leaders start off with a specific skill like sales, marketing,
accounting, or using certain software. They then build up the team
by recruiting people who can fill up the relevant skill gaps.
To start off: Identify a particular skill you have. Make the deliberate
effort to hone and sharpen that skill.
Great leaders have a long term vision and perspective of the future,
and they are not bogged down by petty and trivial issues in the
interim.
To start off: If you could do anything for your career 5 years down the
road, what would it be? How would you get there? If you have no
idea, start brainstorming and putting pen to paper.
42
9. Develops others
To start off: Go mentor a junior. Speak into his life and challenge him
to go the next level.
10. Innovates
43
To start off: Write down a problem which you face every day. It could
be traffic congestion, long lines at the cafe, long wait times at the
supermarket checkout, jumpy wifi signal strength, etc. And write
down how you could go about tackling that problem. What would
you do if you were the leader of a team that is charged with solving
that problem?
Many people go out with the notion that they have a problem (i.e.
they need a job, they need to pay the bills, they need something to
work on) and they are going out to look for a solution (i.e. getting the
job).
Instead, see yourself as the solution (i.e. you have skills, talent,
passion and energy) and that you are looking to solve a problem out
there (i.e. lack of education, inefficiency, lack of customer
satisfaction, poverty, etc).
44
6. PERSON (PART 2)
What’s your personal brand?
In this chapter, we look at the job candidate not only as a person, but
as a brand, and discuss how you can craft an unforgettable brand
and communicate that value to others.
45
Some might say it’s the logo, or the tagline, or the colour scheme
used on a company’s product packaging.
Why? Because brands are associated with certain traits, feelings and
imagery, and this is the true effect of a brand.
46
This goes the same for individuals.
On top of that, weak brands stay at the bottom of the food chain,
where the competition is the most intense, while strong brands rise
to the top and have their pick on the opportunities which come their
way.
47
To put this in job search terms, a candidate with a weak brand is just
another name in the pile of resumes and applications. It’s no
surprise that he ends up spamming his resumes all over the place
hoping that a recruiter would notice it.
The sad truth is that majority of job candidates are just another
name in the pile.
On the other hand, a candidate with a strong brand still has her
application in the pile of thousands, but is remembered and is on the
mind of the recruiter or hiring manager.
48
Here’s how to create a brand for you to be noticed and
differentiated.
See yourself as a brand because your brand value stays with you
throughout your entire career.
It’s not just useful during the job search process. Down the road, you
might make some changes to your career trajectory. You might apply
to work for another firm. This is where your personal brand steps in
again, because the more brand value (social equity, goodwill,
reputation, etc) you’ve accumulated, the easier it is for you to find
your way around in the marketplace.
49
What do you see? Are you happy with the results (assuming you see
something)?
If you see good results, then keep doing what you are doing so far.
If you see nothing, then this is an indicator that you need to start
building your personal brand.
However, if you see bad or undesirable results, then it’s time to clean
up your social media presence. Is there content which need to be
taken down? Do you need to re-look at the way you post content
online? Do you need to re-evaluate your online conduct?
One other way to assess the quality of your online presence is that if
that was to be on the front page of a prominent magazine or
newspaper, would that put you in a good light?
This is the meaty part where you get to craft your personal brand
statement, which is comprised of your strengths, passions, values
and purpose.
50
Strengths. What are you good at? What are your skills?
Example 1 (my own example): Public speaking, motivation, pushing
boundaries.
Example 2 (a management consultant’s example): Problem solving,
critical thinking.
Passions. What do you love doing? What keeps you up at night and
gets you up in the morning?
Example 1: Bringing out the best in others, personal and professional
development.
Example 2: Reading business books, watching Shark Tank, seeing
how businesses work.
51
When you combine the 4 elements – strengths, passions, values and
purpose – you get your personal brand statement, which captures
the WHY behind you do what you do.
Once you have crafted your personal brand statement, it’s time to
identify ways in which you can create brand value for prospective
employers.
Here is a list, although not exhaustive, on how you can add and
produce value:
• Part-time work
• Internships, summer programs, graduate programs
• Volunteer work
• Creating and running your own projects
52
• Attending events and conferences
• Reading books, articles and resources
• Meeting up with experts and leaders in your field
53
Exposure. How can you increase your exposure? This differs slightly
from experience. What can you do to help you see things in a
different light? For instance, you might be doing some consulting
work with your local council on how they can improve youth
engagement in their community. To better enhance your exposure,
you might be looking at doing the same work but for a local council
in a third world country. The dynamics would be very different, as
the stakeholders are facing very different issues and challenges.
54
For a brand to establish a foothold in its customers’ minds, it needs
to not only present its message once, but repeatedly.
Almost every day, he would post (on his social media feed) pictures
and articles on the latest gadgets and tech developments, and he
would also put up articles on how to solve common computer issues.
What happens after he does it for a while? He would be known as the
tech or IT guy by his friends, and anyone who has a tricky IT problem
would be referred to him.
Clarity. Are you clear about what you stand for? Are others clear
about what you stand for? Is your message unambiguous? Is it
straightforward and easy to understand?
55
I remember attending interviews for engineering and management
consulting positions, and was asked why I want to go for those roles.
If you are not sure about your career path, then deliberately begin
your journey of discovery.
Constancy.Do you engage with the relevant people and your target
audience on a perpetual or a once-off basis? For a branding message
to stick, it has to be repeated over and over again (without overdoing
it, of course).
56
Who is your target audience? Who should you be reaching out to?
There are 2 key groups of individuals who you could start networking
with.
The first is professionals who are working in your desired role. Back
to the management consultant example, an obvious choice would be
to reach out to management consultants working in an industry of
my interest. I could also extend my reach to consultants in other
industries or in other capacities (risk consultants, project
management consultants, strategy consultants, etc).
Getting in touch with this first group is great to get an idea of what
the job is about, as well as the highlights and challenges presented in
the respective role.
57
Reaching out to this second group helps you get a better grasp of the
company’s culture and to make a stronger impression to those who
will actually be assessing your job application.
7. Reinvent yourself
Change is the only constant. You must be very familiar with this by
now.
58
Are you constantly evaluating and upgrading yourself to stay
relevant?
How familiar are you with the trends and developments in your
industry?
59
I must say that humans are extremely versatile and adaptable.
60
7. PROCESS (PART 1)
Who do you know?
Someone said that your network determines your net worth. It’s not
really what you know that matters, but who you know.
And when you are approaching others, how you see yourself will
have a profound impact on how the conversation would go.
61
To give you my own example, I wasn’t born a confident person.
During my teenage years I would always have a book with me when
commuting. This is not only because I love reading, but because I
didn’t want/dare to look at others in the eye. I just wanted to get to
my destination with as little social contact as possible.
62
I now look forward to networking events and am usually the
proactive one to make contact with other professionals. I reached
out, asked a lot of questions and kept the conversations going.
When you do this, you not only expand your professional network
and develop interpersonal confidence, you are actually putting
yourself and your personal brand out there. You are making an
impression with employers and that will work in your favour down
the road because if the employer sees your name in the pile of
resumes, your face will come to mind – you are not just another
name in the pile, you are a person who made an impression.
63
A job interview is to a job what an informational interview is to
information.
64
Sam: Hello!
Me: I came across your name on the company website and I was
wondering if I could ask you a few questions about your job. I’m
really interested to work as a management consultant after my
graduation.
Here are the 5 questions which I’ve used over and over again during
the informational interviews I had with other professionals.
If time permits, feel free to ask all of them. If not, then pick and
choose a few which you would use.
65
Through this, you could ask for more details on the job’s demands,
challenges and highlights.
2. If you wanted to break into your industry, what would you do?
This is the same as asking “What’s a good starting point for fresh
candidates like me?”.
This question helps you identify some entry-level roles which you
are eligible to go for, especially when many listed jobs out there are
experienced positions.
66
This is the same as asking “I’m new to this, so what do you think I
should do next?”.
Once you have shared your background and situation, you might get
some tips on how to proceed from here.
67
– but it’s much better to be interested. This is because everyone
loves talking about themselves.
And to make that happen, you can ask the same questions used in
informational interviews.
Additionally, here are 4 tips for you do excel in your next networking
occasion.
What is your game plan? What is your strategy to get to know other
professionals?
If you are unsure, do have a think about it. And if you think you
might forget, do write it down on a piece of post-it and bring it along.
68
• How did you find the talk/presentation so far?
• Is there any particular topic or issue you are looking forward to
hear?
• What’s your favourite bit?
Nothing (really) happens until you step out of your comfort zone.
Learn. After each encounter, recall what went well and what didn’t.
Keep doing what went well and stop doing that which didn’t turn out
well.
69
Repeat. Repeat this cycle and continuously refine your approach and
technique for each person.
3. Flatter others
For instance, rather than just saying “Hi there! What brings you
here?”, I might go for “Hi there! Good to see you today! What brings
you here?”.
4. Encourage others
70
There will be times when you would meet those who have less
experience than you.
This is because the world is really small and you might never know
when you would need their help down the road. And they might
know someone who could prove helpful to you as well.
F: Family
O: Occupation
R: Recreation
71
D: Dreams
Follow up
72
It’s the equivalent of going on a great date and not corresponding
with the other person after the special occasion.
To take things further, you could send a note (via email, SMS or even
phone call) to express your delight and appreciation in meeting the
other person and that you would love to continue the conversation
or stay in touch. You could even ask the person whether he/she is
keen to catch up for a coffee so that you can carry on the
conversation.
73
74
8. PROCESS (PART 2)
How to be a job hunting superstar.
Now it’s time to go into the nitty-gritty details of the job application
process – the cover letter, the resume and the interview, as well as
how to properly manage your time during the job seeking process.
If you have not yet reached out to the employer (see Chapter 7), then
your cover letter would be the first impression which you paint in the
mind of the employer.
It’s important to write your cover letter from your heart, rather than
using a template, because recruiters and hiring managers can
instantly know whether a cover letter is written from scratch or
copied-and-pasted.
75
Additionally, your cover letter is meant to make the employer
curious to find out more about you and to proceed to read your
resume.
76
coming year, I see great potential in the area of training and
development. I’m passionate about bringing out the best in others
and I would like to be part of your team to make that happen.
2. Make it short
Don’t overdo the cover letter. Think of this as the trailer to the
movie, which serves to entice the viewer to want to watch the movie.
77
Conclude your cover letter by stating how your experience and
worldview would add value to the company and help you with the
job. And keep it short and sharp.
Before moving forward, here are some things for you to know before
you work on your resume.
To add on, many people sweat the resume writing process because
it’s the part of the job search process which they have the most
control of.
78
Resume writing is important, but don’t stress too much about it.
What many don’t know is that the resume is just there to lead up to
the interview, where the human version of you, comes in.
Because resumes are mostly read for 10 seconds, it’s important for
the recruiter to know what you are about and what you can offer
straightaway.
79
There are a few components to the professional summary:
• Title: What role you are looking for. In this case, the candidate
has written “Customer Service Representative in F&B and Retail”
• What you have done so far: “...achieved 100% customer retention
and excellent customer service...managed staff, inventory and
customer complaints...”
• What you are looking for: “...looking for my next challenge in the
field of hospitality”
80
Avoid using tables if possible because this might throw the contents
off when scanned with certain resume-reading software.
In all of your lists, begin with the latest item at the top.
5. Use stories
6. Use numbers
In your resume, don’t just mention what you did, give details on
what you achieved. How big was the team? How much did you
increase sales by? What dollar amount did you help the company
save? What were the results of you implementing the marketing
strategy?
81
7. Leave out personal information
You are sending out your resume to get you a job, not a date. So just
put in the minimal information (email address and mobile number)
for employers to get in touch with you.
After jumping through the cover letter and resume hoops, you would
be invited for an interview. This could be done over the phone, via
video conferencing or face-to-face, and it could be one-on-one, or
with a panel of interviewers.
Whatever the case, what happens before and after the interview is as
important as what happens during it.
1. Do your homework
82
Research the company. Do a Google search on them to find out
about their latest projects and developments and what they have
been doing in their industry.
Additionally, during the interview itself, you could also mention that
you’ve spoken to so-and-so on the phone previously and you were
really excited to learn about the projects which the organisation is
working on. This gives you extra points and show that you are really
interested in working with them.
Calculate the travel time to get to your interview location. Don’t take
it for granted that the traffic conditions would be ideal on the actual
83
day. Account for jams or transportation delays. Even better, make a
trip to the location in advance to have a better sense of where it is
and how long it takes to get there.
Your Story Statement encapsulates what you are about, what drives
you and why the employer should hire you. It helps you answer the
“Tell me more about yourself.” and “Why should we hire you?”
question.
Strong:
84
As a former international student myself, I understand how tough
getting a job can be. I sent out 526 resumes over 561 days, and this
was featured on various news outlets. Because of this, I’m on a
personal mission to bring out the best in others and to help them
professionally, because I believe that everyone deserves to succeed
in their lives and careers. Thus, I’m applying to be part of your team
to help make that happen.
Strong:
I’m prone to burn-out’s because I tend to push myself too hard. I
don’t really see that as a problem/issue because this allows me to get
things done and to go the extra mile for my team and my customers.
85
I just need to pace myself so that things can be sustainable over the
long-term.
Results: What was the outcome? What lessons did you learn?
Research has proven that the physical posture we adopt has a direct
impact on how we feel.
86
For instance, your productivity level would generally increase when
you are sitting upright as compared to slouching on your seat. On
the same vein, if you are attending a lecture, you would feel more
engaged when you are sitting upright and leaning in towards the
speaker as compared to slouching on your seat.
Do this and you will have an extra confidence boost for the
interview.
87
Studies have shown that a great way to build trust and rapport
through body language is to mirror the other person’s.
Strong response: While it’s true that I was let go by the company, I
didn’t see that as a stumbling block to my career, but a learning
opportunity. It’s true that I was underperforming in my sales figures
in that role, but for the past few months, I’ve attended several sales
and marketing workshops to brush up my skills, so I don’t think this
would be an issue down the road.
88
7. Ask good questions
There will be a time during the interview for you to ask the
interviewer any questions you might have, and this is your
opportunity to further showcase your knowledge of what’s going on
and your interest in the role and company.
Before you head off after the interview, do ask for the interviewer’s
card as a way for you to keep in touch with her.
89
AFTER THE INTERVIEW
Dear Sam,
Regards,
Dominic
During the job search period, many people feel that their job is to
look for a job. Thus, they spend their office hours (9am – 5pm) sitting
at home and searching and applying for jobs behind their
computers.
90
There’s absolutely nothing wrong in doing that, but the problem is
that everyone else is doing pretty much the same thing as well –
which means that the chances of your application standing out is
very minimal.
Instead, be strategic on how you spend your time during the job
hunting process. Don’t just stick behind the computer – do
something else and get out there.
The first part. Use this to search and apply for jobs online. It’s alright
to stick to conventional means since many companies source for
candidates this way as well.
The second part. Dedicate this time to put yourself out there. Attend
business breakfasts, career seminars, workshops, conferences and
networking events. Do anything that helps you to expand your
professional network. Have coffee with professionals. Have lunch
with like-minded people.
You could use this time to work part-time, to work on your projects
or to volunteer as well.
91
The third part. Set aside this time to upgrade and upskill yourself.
What books, articles and materials could you get your hands on? You
could also go for courses and workshops to further sharpen your
skills in the respective areas.
The third portion of time is critical because this helps to ensure that
you are constantly growing and learning regardless of how long you
spend job hunting. Don’t end up as some individuals who spend 3
years looking for a job and still end up with the same level of skills 3
years later.
The top 7 mistakes job seekers make
1. Lacking clarity
Many job seekers, especially those fresh out of university, tend to try
getting their hands on every and any job they can get.
It could be the fact that they need to pay the bills or that they would
be willing to do just about anything to get their careers started.
92
I’ve been there myself. As a graduate with qualifications in
mechanical engineering, project management and business
management, I tried applying for jobs in engineering, project
management, management consulting, marketing, human resource
and even administration, to get myself started.
The big difference here is that once I knew what I really wanted, I
was not only committed to it, but confident in how I went about the
application.
93
My former CEO, who was also one of the interviewers, mentioned to
me after the interview that when he asked me the same question in 5
different ways, my answer was unwaveringly the same: that I was
deeply passionate about bringing out the best in others because I
believe that everyone deserves to be successful.
Too many job seekers wait for things to happen instead of making
things happen.
Of course not!
While applying for your consulting position, you can still read up
more on what’s happening in the industry, what experts are talking
about in the space and find out about any other trends and
developments in your domain.
94
Remember, a lack of a job is not an excuse for a lack of hunger to
grow and learn.
3. Being invisible
Stop hanging around your comfort zone and start challenging and
stretching yourself.
95
4. Having a herd mentality
It’s easy for us to hang around people who look like us, speak like us,
eat like us and who are in a similar state as us.
For instance, when I was job seeking, it was easy for me to hang
around my other friends who are in the same boat as well. We also
had a lot of time to spare during the unemployment phase too!
It’s nice to know that there is someone who understands what you
are going through and who relates to your current situation.
Why?
Someone said that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the
most time with.
If you hang around 5 fit and athletic people long enough, you would
th
become the 6 .
96
If you hang around 5 business people long enough, you would
th
become the 6 .
th
If you hang around 5 idiots long enough, you would become the 6 .
The one other thing to be aware of is from whom you get your advice
from.
If you are unemployed and want to go to the next level (i.e. getting a
job), then you need to get your advice from people who are already
on that next level (i.e. employed).
The funny thing was that when I was unemployed, many of my other
unemployed friends gave me “job advice”. How ironic is that?
97
If you are serious about elevating your game and going to the next
level, you will need to connect and get in touch with people who are
playing a bigger game.
So stop spending too much time with the herd and stop going with
the flow. If you want to stand out, you would need to carve your own
path instead of following the crowd.
Don’t stop there and never think that your degree guarantees you
success in the marketplace.
Many job seekers I come across are still attached to their university
qualifications.
I ask them what sets them apart and many say it’s their qualification
from XYZ University.
98
I spoke to several business owners and hiring managers and most of
them say that they don’t pay too much attention to a candidate’s
educational qualifications as compared to their passion, enthusiasm
and work experience.
The marketplace has shifted. The emphasis has gone from a focus on
hard/technical skills to the soft skills – things like leadership,
communication, problem solving, attention to detail, work ethic,
ability to work in a team and under pressure, etc.
The world we experience in university and the world out there are 2
very different places.
The great news is that hard work and hustle do not discriminate.
You might come with subpar qualifications. But if you are willing to
put in twice the amount of effort, energy and enthusiasm and are
willing to go twice as far as your counterparts who graduated from a
top university, you would find your success.
99
6. Maintaining the minimum wage mentality
There is nothing wrong starting off at the bottom of the food chain.
Whether it’s earning minimum wage or an income that is just
enough to pay for the bills, we all have to start somewhere.
The question here is how badly do you want to go to the next level?
I told my mum about this and she snapped back. She told me to stop
thinking of only myself and start aiming higher because I’ll be doing
this for them and for my future family. Usually my mum tells me to
slow down and take things easy when I’m working too hard. So when
100
she’s the one asking me to get my life together, I really need to get
my life together.
101
Top 1% earner mentality:
• Make things happen.
• Go above and beyond.
• Reach out to people playing a bigger game.
• How can I contribute and what can I bring to the table?
• I am always learning. All the time.
• I commit to it and go all in.
• My work is my calling and my service to the world.
• How much can I earn this month? How can I increase my
income?
• What’s in it for us?
• I see opportunities in change and I make change happen.
Usually when I work till late in the office, I take the taxi home.
During my taxi rides, I always love asking the cab driver their
thoughts about Uber.
102
All whom I spoke to said that Uber has impacted their business and
that they are now finding it harder to get customers.
One cab driver acknowledged that Uber has affected his earnings but
he is actively looking out for more opportunities and he is
considering doing extra study to improve his options.
Another cab driver also acknowledged that Uber has impacted his
business. When I asked about what he plans to do about it and
whether he would consider switching to Uber, he just said that it was
too expensive and he “is only a driver”.
Have you heard some people or even your colleagues say something
like “I’m only a <position title>. It’s not my job to do this.” or “They
hired me as a <position title>, so I’m not paid to do this.”
While sometimes it’s good to know the boundaries of your job scope,
sometimes you need to know when to go the extra mile. That’s why
it’s called the extra mile!
103
The key to excelling in your job and career is to make a decision to
stop being average. And to do that, disrupt your way of working and
thinking.
Once he gets home after his shift, if he just sees himself as a driver,
he would most likely just sit in front of the TV and relax because his
shift is now over. However, if he puts on his business owner cap, he
104
would seize every single opportunity during his spare time to
improve himself, upskill, read books and explore any other
opportunities available to him.
105
9. PRODUCT
What are you working on right now? What value can you bring to
the table?
Previously we talked about how you can craft your personal brand
statement and create a strong personal brand that helps you stand
out from the crowd.
Here we would explore how you can seize the opportunities around
you and even create opportunities for yourself, to make you more
employable.
Start now
I can’t really blame them for this because many spend long hours in
classrooms, lecture theatres, projects, assignments and on extra-
curricular activities. Not to mention setting aside time for friends
and family, engaging in recreation and working part-time.
106
It’s important to start on your career even before you graduate.
Why? It’s because if you ask any working professional, he would say
that you won’t really use much of what you studied in the working
world. I can speak from personal experience and you should try
asking your fellow peers in the marketplace.
And it doesn’t help that grades and academic results are not high up
in the list of what employers are looking for.
“The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time
is now.” – Chinese Proverb
107
If you have not started or thought about working on your career,
don’t fret – now’s the time. It’s never too early or too late to work on
it.
The one thing that is common between regular people and extremely
successful individuals is the amount of time they have.
Both have 24 hours in a day, but how they spend their time would
ultimately determine their level of success.
Hence, I’ll need you to challenge the way you think about grabbing
opportunities that come your way and in how you manage your
time. It’s not enough to just strive to be efficient – you’ll need to be
effective and strategic as well. And being strategic is about knowing
your end point and knowing what you need to look out for and take
hold of, in order to get to your intended destination. In addition, it’s
also about knowing what to say “yes” to and what to decline.
108
Part-time work
I understand that you might have rent and bills to pay and any form
of part time work that pays well would fit the bill (pardon the pun).
109
Doing so would expose me to the company’s culture and I would
have the chance to speak to the consultants in the company to find
out more about what they do. In addition, if I can prove myself to be
remarkable in my part-time role, there might be a chance of them
transiting me to a full-time position later.
If you are not able to get into the large and reputable firms, do give
smaller companies a shot. Apply or express your interest to them
directly – there’s totally no harm in trying.
Volunteer work
Volunteering is a great way for you to get out of your comfort zone,
meet new people, pick up useful skills and contribute to something
worthwhile. This definitely helps to broaden your perspective of life
110
and even better, stretch your worldview if you choose to volunteer
abroad.
I love this avenue because if you tried all other means but to no avail,
you can always strive to create experience for yourself.
Running your own project really throws you outside your comfort
zone because there are no set guidelines for you to follow, and it
really shows that you have initiative to make things happen.
111
Some people might say that I need consulting experience to consult.
Well, there’s truth to that, but if I am going to wait till I have
experience to do something, then I might be waiting for a long time.
Instead, I should do something and get the experience along the
way.
Simple. I’ll sit down with their committee to identify some of the
problems and challenges (like lack of membership engagement,
poor turnout at events) they face as a club and devise ways to
address those problems. I might then implement the strategies with
them, while seeking to consult with other clubs in the interim.
112
Since I’m doing management consulting, I would look up industry
bodies or associations which are relevant to me, like the Australian
Institute of Management or the Institute of Management
Consultants.
Once you have identified your related industry bodies, look to see
what events they are holding and attend them. This is a great way to
have a better grasp of the happenings and developments within the
industry and to meet like-minded individuals and professionals.
113
I would also get my hands on TED talks, videos, podcasts and blog
posts from professionals in this arena.
Who are the experts and thought leaders in your field? What are they
discussing at the moment, and how can you find out more? To take it
to the next level, how can you be part of the discussion?
114
Learning to create opportunities for yourself is a very handy
improvising skill. This is beneficial because there are a number of
entry-level jobs which require prior work experience.
Thus, you would need to think beyond this cycle – in fact, “break”
the cycle by creating experience for yourself.
One other useful tip which benefited a lot of students is to take a look
at a job advertisement for a role which you are applying for (down
the road) and identify what the job requirements are.
115
Next, you take those requirements and “work backwards”. This
would get you to build experience even before you start applying for
the job.
For instance, if the job requires one to have 1-3 years of management
consulting experience, I could either volunteer in my university’s
student consulting club for 2 years, do pro-bono consulting for a
charity for 1 year and/or work part-time (in any capacity) in a
consulting firm.
116
Think action and evidence
In fact, I want you to place more value on doing than mere saying.
This is because execution is the best way to learn, as it’s too easy to
fall into the trap of waiting for the “right” or “perfect” moment to
attack.
Too many job candidates “claim” that they have excellent team,
communication and leadership skills. Saying that is one thing,
proving through evidence is another.
Also, so many people have lofty and marvellous dreams, but few are
actually willing or have put in the blood, sweat and tears investment
to achieve (or at least try to achieve) those dreams.
117
working in a high-pressure environment, think of what opportunities
you could seize and then make it happen.
Do your homework and a bit of research, but don’t wait till you have
all the information before execution, because that will never happen.
Even members of the military, like special forces operatives who
operate in a high-pressure, high-stakes and high-risk environment,
understand what it means to make decisions with incomplete
information. Once they have about 80% of the information, they
would execute.
118
// EXCEL IN THE MARKETPLACE
119
10. GETTING THE JOB IS ONLY THE TIP OF
THE ICEBERG
The first half of this book is all about helping you get your dream job.
If you’re in the process of doing that, keep going at it and all the best!
It’s all about how you can excel in the marketplace, play a bigger
game, develop strong professional networks and relationships, and
bring yourself and others to the next level.
The world’s most elite military special forces unit, the U.S. Navy
SEALs, have this saying “You earn your trident everyday”.
120
The trident is their symbol and insignia which represents their
service, dedication, sacrifice and commitment, and they wear it on
their uniform near their heart.
Every special forces operator who wears the trident wears it with
pride because of the shear amount of blood, sweat and tears invested
in the training to graduate to be able to wear the trident.
The training is one of the harshest and toughest in the world. This
includes the hell week phase where trainees endure a five and a half
day stretch of arduous and demanding training where each
individuals sleeps for only about 4 hours, runs more than 200 miles
and performs physical training for more than 20 hours a day.
A typical class can start off with 200 aspiring SEALs and finish with
only 15 graduates. Talk about a crazy attrition rate!
121
Likewise for every employee and professional, we need to earn our
“tridents” everyday.
It doesn’t mean that being employed means that we can take it easy,
put our growth on the backseat and rest on our laurels.
Average is dangerous
122
Some people ask me at events “Dominic, how can you afford to
spend all that time, energy and money to invest in yourself?”
The bigger and better question to ask is “How can you afford not to
invest in yourself?”
An employee who just does the bare minimum in his job is placing
himself in a very precarious position. Going through the motions,
clocking in at 9 and clocking out at 5 does not give him any
competitive advantage over his counterparts. Because he is just
doing what is necessary, he is, in fact, easily replaceable.
In good economic times, that is fine. Just do what you need to do,
don’t ask questions, don’t push boundaries, and you will still do
alright.
123
However, when things get tighter, when the space gets more
competitive and when there are more players on the field, doing just
enough is not really good enough.
We’ll need to find ways to play a bigger game in our respective fields
– to do well in our designated jobs and to go above and beyond – to
add even more value in the things that we do.
124
This could start by you doing your job well and then finding ways to
add even more value to your role and to others.
Once you are doing well with your “standard” job description, start
by finding ways on how you can add more value.
You can then compile and collate your findings and do regular
sharing and presentations to your fellow colleagues so that everyone
else can benefit from what you’ve learnt.
125
Connect with those playing a bigger game and find out what the
industry leaders are doing – and go learn from them.
On the student front, you can take the extra effort to get to know
your students on a deeper level – their passions, hobbies, interests,
fears, challenges, family, aspirations, etc. Connect with them not
only as a teacher, but as a trusted friend. Strive to see things from
their point of view and do your utmost to cater the learning process
in a way that best suits their learning style, to keep them engaged.
You could even compile your own set of teaching materials and
resources from your past experience with the students and
curriculum. This could be a handy resource that would keep refining
your craft and it could also be something which you can pass to your
subordinates who are starting out in their teaching career.
It doesn’t mean that if our job title says “teacher”, we just teach. No.
We can do more than that. In fact, we need to do more than that
because the job of a teacher is more than just the impartation of
knowledge.
126
As you start to make going above and beyond your new norm and
standard, you would start to shift from being a mere commodity to a
valued authority.
Get out of your comfort zone. Stretch your horizons, expose yourself
to new things and expand your worldview.
127
Well, travelling as part of your vacation does stretch your horizons,
get you to see new things and expose you to different people and
cultures. However, to bring things even further, go for an overseas
trip where you are doing it for something greater than yourself.
The amazing thing is that even though you go with the mission to
give, serve, bless and contribute to others, you would soon realise
that you end up receiving much more than you give, you are blessed
more than you are blessed and you come back more recharged and
refreshed even though you were labouring for love.
The key here is to serve something way bigger than yourself so that
you can play a bigger game.
128
He asked Richard a rather interesting question, “How can I improve
my life or make life easier?”
129
industry, economy and country, you would realise that there are
bigger and better things to fight for out there.
130
11. INVEST IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
So for myself, I’ll visualise what the best version of Dominic would
look like in the following 7 areas:
• physical
• mental
• emotional
• financial
131
• spiritual
• social
• global
132
spending and saving each month? Do I have a dedicated savings
account? Do I have a plan to increase my income and to create
financial independence for myself?
Social. Who are you hanging out with? Is your company of peers
pulling you down or bringing you up? In your social circles, are you
mostly the influencer or the influenced? Are you currently being
mentored by someone many steps ahead of you? And are you
mentoring someone with less experience than you? Are you
spending enough time with your family and loved ones?
Global. Are you aware of the needs around you - your immediate
community, society and the world at large? Are you actively
contributing to meet the needs of others? Are you giving back and
paying it forward? Do you think beyond your own personal needs
and wants? How much of a global perspective do you have?
133
These, I believe, are the 7 arenas of personal development which we
can work on.
134
12. DEALING WITH PEOPLE
There is no doubt that having great people skills are not only
essential in the workplace, but also necessary if one wants to excel in
his career.
Being able to work well with people is comprised of, but is not
limited to, displaying active listening, being sensitive socially and
culturally, exercising and demonstrating emotional intelligence,
empowering others, respecting others, being able to offer
constructive feedback, being able to communicate effectively with
others, and leading and managing others in a team environment.
Being able to show empathy is good. Being able to know when and
how to show that empathy is even better.
135
head on. Some other time, it’s better to give it time before bringing
the matter up.
2. Flexibility
Being a people person is about not letting your emotions run the
show. While certain behaviours from others may trigger a particular
emotional reaction in you, the key is to be aware of how you
respond, because that is the greatest determinant on how things
would unfold.
136
5. Ability to negotiate with and persuade others
Dealing with others is like having a social bank account. When you
help others, you deposit social capital into the account, and when
you need help or ask for favours, you withdraw from the account.
6. Leadership
137
Leadership is not a role, title or position, but having the ability to
direct and influence others towards a common, beneficial goal.
7. A sense of humour
8. Honesty
He is also able to bring the truth, especially the harsh truth, to his
peers in an appropriate and respectful manner.
A great people person is well aware of the body language others are
having when he is engaging with them.
138
If he notices that they are nodding in acknowledgment and leaning
in to hear more, then he could keep going on with the conversation.
A great people person treats others with respect and with good
manners, whether he gets it in return or not.
139
12. Ability to communicate and listen effectively
The truth is that others would offend you whether they know it or
not. This is because nobody is perfect and we do step on each other’s
toes at times.
140
14. Ability to trust others
141
Bottom layer: Something positive or how we could all move forward
together
Dear Sam,
I must say that you have done really well in your previous
marketing presentation! Your points are really succinct and you
communicated the value of the positioning strategy well to the
team.
In the future, if more lead time could be given to the rest of the
team about the upcoming meetings and presentations, that would
be great. I’m looking forward to the next one!
Cheers,
Dominic
I realised that for most people, the more I respect and honour them,
the more influence I have over them.
142
This means that it’s easier to get my message across to them and
even get them to do things for me when I respect and honour them
in the first place.
With this, if you want others to respect you, you would need to
respect them in the first place.
If you want others to help you, you would generally need to offer
them help in the first place.
True social capital is developed when you give, invest in and add
value to others unconditionally – without expecting anything in
return.
143
Great leaders and great people persons understand that respect is
earned not deserved. One has to give respect first in order to receive
respect.
When others fail and make mistakes, it’s so easy to criticise them and
assume that they are incompetent and that they would easily make
the same mistake down the road.
Sometimes that’s true, but I also challenge myself to give them the
benefit of the doubt and to see things from their point of view.
Perhaps they were not adequately trained for the task at hand.
Perhaps they had a bad start to their day. Maybe he wasn’t feeling
too good on the day. Maybe there were other and less obvious
factors leading to the mishap.
144
Strong relationships bring betterresults
Whenever she talks to you, it’s always about “Could you do this or
that for me?”, “Have you done this or that?” and “Why haven’t you
done it yet?”.Nothing else.
How do you feel about working under such a manager? How do you
think your fellow colleagues feel about it?
Now imagine another manager who is totally different from the first.
145
When he sets goals and targets for you, it’s not just because he wants
to squeeze every single bit of juice from you, but because he believes
in you and wants you to do even better than what you did yesterday.
Apart from this, he cares about your life outside of work. He shows
interest and concern for your hobbies and the things you do for
recreation and he seeks to know you more even outside of work.
Now how do you feel about working under this manager? Do you
think the team’s overall performance would be very different as
compared to working for the previous manager?
When you invest in others and believe in them, you earn their trust
and respect. And when the time comes for you to get them to do
certain tasks, they would most likely do it because they want to, and
not because they have to.
146
This how strong relationships can lead to better performance and
outcomes.
There will be times where you need to make tough and even harsh
decisions which not everyone would like. This would also be the acid
test of your leadership capability.
A true mark of a leader in dealing with people is having the guts and
boldness to make a decision and stick to it, despite the backlash and
consequences.
One is able to stand his ground only if he has made the decision not
based on emotions or impulse, but through the wise council of many
and after rigorous deliberation.
147
To add on, one will never be able to please everyone. In fact, if you
try to please everyone, then you would end up pleasing no one,
because everyone has different needs, desires and perspectives.
If I have great respect and honour for you and I see you as a true
friend, this does not mean that I would do or say things which you
want to hear. There might be times where I would have to make a
tough call and have a serious conversation with you about what you
did.
You might not like what you hear and I might not like confronting
you, but I do this because I treasure your character above your
comfort. I’m ultimately doing this for your own good and I only want
the best for you.
And because you see that I truly and genuinely respect and honour
you, you are more inclined to reciprocate. As a result, once you know
that my intentions are genuine and authentic, you would be more
open to feedback, correction and constructive criticism.
148
Someone said that you need to be careful of where you get your
advice from. People have their own agendas and opinions about
things. If you ask a barber whether you should get a haircut, what do
you think his reply would be? Pretty obvious, right?
If you hang out with your clique and they are really vocal and
passionate about exercising, what happens to you after hanging out
with them for a while? It wouldn’t be surprising that you would end
up working out and subscribing to the group’s prevailing belief,
because if a statement is repeated to an individual long enough, that
might become his truth and reality.
If you hang out with a group of friends who say certain things about
a particular individual, what would happen to your impression of
149
him after a while? I’m sure you would start to see him in a different
light – based on what your friends have been saying.
So watch what people are saying and be aware of what you are
hearing.
If you are unsure, always give the benefit of the doubt and seek first
to understand. Those gossipers might just be spreading rumours or
stating their opinion based on how they (want to) see the world.
Like what was mentioned previously, people have their own agendas
and opinions about things.
One group was really excited to hear about it. They praised me for
my boldness to take the jump and would love to do it in the future.
One other group, however, told me that I took a great risk in those
jumps. They said that it’s not worth the risk and they would
150
definitely not do it. Some even exclaimed that I should have done
something safer instead.
So the next time you ask someone for (life, career, money, holiday,
relationship, etc) advice and he says “no”, be aware that he might do
so because:
• he has little or no experience in that area
• he is risk-averse
• he had a bad experience in it previously
• he tried this last time and it did not work favourably for him
• he grew up in an environment that shunned this
• he hangs out with people who disapproves this
151
• he heard “bad” things about this from others
In view of this, do take advice with a pinch of salt and seek many
other individuals for their opinion so that you are not just limited to
one. After that, make the decision based on your best judgement.
152
13. DEALING WITH CHANGE
You might study one thing now and end up with a totally different
career path.
You might study and graduate in your home country and get
deployed overseas once you start working.
You might have to relocate for work purposes or even for the sake of
job and work opportunities elsewhere.
153
Uber drivers who use their own cars. Essentially, Uber does not
require any vehicle fleet of its own – it uses the untapped capacity of
their drivers’ vehicles. In other words, car owners can sign up to be
an Uber driver and use their vehicles to make some extra money
instead of leaving it in the garage.
And taxi industries around the world are not too happy about this.
On top of that, many taxi drivers around are protesting saying that
their government isn’t protecting them. The irony of this? The more
time they spend protesting, the less time they spend on the road,
which means commuters have more incentive to use Uber, since
there are less cabs on the road.
If you are in the shoes of a taxi driver, you have a choice. You could
either choose to ignore what’s been happening around you and
hope that everything would be fine, and then find yourself being
made obsolete. Or you could recognise that change coming and
154
reinvent yourself. Look for something else to do or even become an
Uber driver yourself.
What is your take on change? Are you one who embraces change? Or
do you wait for change to get you moving?
Let’s say you just started your new job and you are thrilled and
excited to begin. You had a fantastic first week and you feel that you
are able to get along with everyone and you learnt so much during
that period.
The second week when you are back, your boss tells you that you
would need to be posted overseas for 6-12 months to secure and
155
work out a deal with a client over there. And you are flying off in 3
days.
What are you going to do in this case? How would you manage this
change?
Apart from being kidnapped and having your plane crash in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean (which are really, really unlikely events),
what’s the worst that could happen?
156
2. Assess what you can control
Let’s be practical here. What can you control? It helps if you can put
a list on paper and write down the many things which are within
your control. And stop stressing about the things which are beyond
your control.
What are the good things that could happen out of this change?
You would get to meet new people, get out of your comfort zone,
experience a new living and working culture, see things which you
don’t get to see in your home country.
Now that you’ve identified the things within your control, what can
you do about it?
You might be feeling out of place with the local culture and unsure
about how to assimilate with them. What could you do about it? You
could do some research about the cultural and societal norms in
157
your host country and probably spend a day just observing people
going about their daily lives. How are they greeting each other? How
are they communicating in terms of their eye contact, body language
and gestures?
Armed with that new insight, you can then spend the next day trying
to mingle with the locals.
Acknowledge that certain things are well beyond your control and
you would not be able to change it.
158
6. Manage your stress and emotions
Whatever the case, you don’t have the face the change by yourself.
That’s what your peer and social circle is for.
159
Highly successful people see change as a learning experience. It’s an
opportunity for them to get out of their comfort zones, try something
new and even reinvent themselves. And they see the benefit of
change because growth happens when there is change. In fact,
people start dying not when they no longer have a pulse, but when
they stop growing and learning.
And all these happen because I made the deliberate effort to pursue
change and embrace it.
160
Get comfortable being uncomfortable
One of the things which I learnt from the military and from peak
performers is to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Obviously not!
They are meant to eat the road, blitz across the highways and sprint
through the countryside – they were built to take on the outside
world. And once in a while, they would need to return to the
workshop, for a brief moment, to get checked and serviced.
161
Likewise for us.
162
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
Physically, you could start heading to the gym if you aren’t doing so.
Mentally, you could start reading books or listening to podcasts if
you haven’t been doing so. Financially, you could start budgeting
and creating a savings plan if you aren’t already doing so.
The more you stretch yourself, the more comfortable you would be
in being uncomfortable. And you would be more prepared when
change happens.
Personal disruption
One other key to thrive and survive in today’s era of change and
disruption is to constantly find ways to disrupt yourself.
163
How would you react? What would you do? How do you plan to
innovate and differentiate yourself from the clone? What can you do
to be several steps ahead of the clone?
While it’s easy for us to compare ourselves with others who might
have a bigger house, bigger car, bigger paycheck, slimmer body,
cuter children, etc, the most important person for us to compete
with is ourselves.
164
For someone who was No. 211 on Forbes’ list of “World’s Richest
People”, with a net worth of $2.6 billion in 2011, this definitely bears
a lot of weight.
If there could be someone out there who would die to put you out of
business, wouldn’t you want to disrupt yourself and gain the
advantage before he comes knocking on your door?
Going back to the Uber and taxi example mentioned earlier, I had
conversations with 2 taxi drivers, with regards to how much Uber has
impacted their business and livelihood.
The first taxi driver said that it definitely has reduced the number of
pickups he gets, but he is actively looking around for other
opportunities and is considering taking up study or upskilling to
keep himself updated and relevant.
165
the situation and is not willing to look beyond his own limitations
(even self-imposed ones) to create new opportunities for himself.
So my question to you is: What are you doing to stay valuable and
relevant in the midst of change and disruption? What are you doing
to remain ahead of the curve? How are you keeping your cutting
edge and competitive advantage?
Never take the things you have and the people in your life for
granted. Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have.
Most likely, you wouldn’t have gotten to where you are right now
without the adequate support and resources.
If you have a warm bed to sleep in at night, a roof (or ceiling) above
your head and running water and electricity, and food in the
166
cupboard and refrigerator, you are way more fortunate than many
others in the world who struggle even to find their next meal.
Be thankful for how far you have come, but don’t rest on your
laurels. Keep your eyes on the prize, keep moving forward and keep
pushing yourself.
The wonderful thing about life is that we can always strive to live,
serve and operate on a higher level – to play a bigger game.
I read an article on LinkedIn which talked about how Nokia lost even
though they didn’t do anything wrong.
167
Nokia has been a reputable and respectable company. While they
didn’t do anything wrong in their business, the one thing which
consumed them was that the world changed too fast.
They missed out on learning, they missed out on changing, and thus
they lost the opportunity at hand to make it big. Not only did they
miss the opportunity to earn big money, they lost their chance of
survival.
The message of this story is, if you don’t change, you shall be
removed from the competition.
It’s not wrong if you don’t want to learn new things. However, if
your thoughts and mindset cannot catch up with time, you will be
eliminated.
168
Those who refuse to learn &improve, will definitely one day
become redundant & not relevant to the industry. They will learn
the lesson in a hard & expensive way.
Would you rather step out of your comfort zone to risk failure,
embrace change, to learn and to innovate? Or would rather have the
competition come in and render your redundant?
169
14. DEALING WITH STRESS
170
From this we can see that just like change, stress is a constant in life
and it is unavoidable.
171
your joy and satisfaction deflated. When you feel like giving
everything up.
If you do reach that point, slow down and take stock of your
situation. Sometimes, reducing your load is much better than you
reaching your point of burn out and you giving up on everything.
The first one challenged the other to see who can chop more wood
and bring down more trees by the end of the day.
So the first guy went out and started working on the trees for many
hours straight and once in a while he notices his companion
stopping his work to take a break somewhere else.
172
Stress can wear you down bit by bit and sometimes it’s tempting to
go “brute force” on the things which we have to do.
Segmenting
This is where you break down a big challenge into smaller and more
digestible bits.
173
So what could you do?
Break it down.
If you are going to have a tough and rough day at work, dealing with
harsh and unreasonable clients and a behemoth project to tackle,
how would you break this down?
Perhaps you could choose to bite away on the day by trying to make
it to morning tea time. Once done, aim to make it to lunch time.
Then afternoon tea time. And then the evening. And you will be done
with the day.
Mental visualisations
174
In the military, we were taught how to respond to various scenarios
using mental visualisations.
To apply this to civilian life, how would you react if life throws you a
curveball? What would you do if a client suddenly under-delivers?
175
What would you do if you were made redundant? What would you
do if you fell really sick before an important presentation?
Some people freak out and panic when faced with a crisis. Some just
freeze in their tracks, while others go into hiding.
Would you take a step back to assess the situation? Identify your
options and alternatives? Do whatever is within your means? And
stop stressing about things beyond your control?
The clearer you are able to picture and visualise your response, the
more prepared you will be when the situation arises.
176
Emotional intelligence is a commonly known leadership and
interpersonal trait. It is a key ingredient in nurturing and
maintaining healthy relationships both in life and in the
marketplace.
The other side of the emotional intelligence coin is all about knowing
how to manage our emotions.
It’s important to note that sometimes life does throw lemons at us.
The unexpected can happen, crises can occur and people can be
unreasonable and unsavoury towards us.
177
If you feel like your world is blazing at 300 miles per hour and that
you are struggling to stay afloat let along breathe, then you might
need to take a break.
Take some time off to refresh yourself and to sharpen your axe. Do
something which is not work-related and something which you
thoroughly enjoy.
Spend time hanging out with your friends and family and take the
time to pamper and reward yourself for coming this far. Look back
and reflect on what you have been through and be grateful for all of
them – up’s and down’s included.
178
Conversely, when he is calm, composed and relaxed, he usually takes
in deep and long breaths.
It can work the other way too. When we control our emotions
(exercising meditation or mindfulness, or pausing to rationalise and
make sense of the stressful situation), our physiology is affected as
well (in this case, our body becomes less tense and rigid).
179
Step 1: Inhale for 4 seconds through your nose. While breathing in,
count: one-thousand, two-thousand, three-thousand, four-thousand.
Step 3: Repeat Steps 1 and 2 for 3 more times or until you feel less
tense.
Feel free to give this a shot when you are faced with a stressful
situation.
180
15. DEALING WITH FAILURE
Since failure is unavoidable, why not talk about it, instead of trying
to ignore it or run away from it?
Imagine you’re learning how to ride a bicycle. You put your helmet
on, sit on the bike and ready yourself. After a couple of inches and
shaking, you lose balance and fall.
What do you do next? You push the bike aside (if you’re under it),
pick yourself up, brace yourself and try again. You give it another go
and soon enough you are a confident cyclist.
181
What do you think the outcome would be if you beat yourself up for
falling? What happens when you resort to bashing yourself in your
head, telling yourself that you’re a failure?
Ever heard of people saying “I’m just not cut out for this.” or “I don’t
think I’m good enough for this.” or “I can’t do this.”, after making a
mistake?
Start seeing failure differently. That failure isn’t the “who” but the
“what”. That failure is not the person, but the incident.
182
Once you are able to isolate the failed incident from your identity,
you would be free to take more risks and be more adventurous
because you know that even if you stumble, that has nothing to do
with your self-worth.
If you think that you are done after an encounter with failure, then
you are done – the story ends there.
But if you think that failure isn’t and shouldn’t be the end of the
story, then it won’t be.
You can either see failure as a stumbling block that stops you in your
tracks, or as a stepping stone to bring you further ahead in the game.
183
However, what the media misses out is the many failures which the
particular individual has to go through before succeeding.
If success is the tip of the iceberg (the 10% above the water’s
surface), then failures are the bottom 90% of the iceberg that is
submerged.
So when you encounter your fair share of failure, see it as part of the
journey towards success. It never has to be the end of the story, but
part of the story that makes the journey more worthwhile.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things
that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the
bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
184
This quote always gives me the chills.
I believe that at the end of the day, the worst failure is the failure to
try. I would rather you try and then fail, than you failing to try.
Compare this to individuals who just sit on the sidelines and talk
about their great plans and dreams. They might say that they want to
start a business but don’t do anything about it because they lack
experience. And because of that belief, they don’t seize any
opportunities before them, which further reinforces that belief.
Which is why they remain on the sidelines.
185
What if you were to jump into the frontlines and make something
happen? What if you gave business a shot? Yes, you might fail and
screw up. But at least you know what doesn’t work. You can get back
to it and refine your technique and approach. Even though you
might not have a million-dollar business, at least you learnt from the
entire experience and most importantly, you gave it a shot.
186
16. DEALING WITH FEAR
Draw a circle and label the inside your “comfort zone”. Whatever
that happens inside the comfort zone is, of course, comfortable,
normal and familiar.
So what’s holding you back from grabbing the bull by the horns and
stepping out?
187
Like mentioned in an earlier chapter, I was totally freaked out when
it was time to execute the bungee jump and to leap out of the plane
at 14,000 feet for the skydive.
You can plan and brainstorm all you want, but you would eventually
need to execute despite the fear in order to make things happen.
188
of failure and being ridiculed for screwing up (if it actually happens)
on stage.
But the truth is, most people are more concerned about themselves
and what others think about them.
When you are giving the presentation on stage, you might think that
some members of the audience are out there to find fault in your
speech. But what they could be thinking of is what they’ll learn from
the presentation and what they will have for lunch later.
Deprive it of time
189
You have heard from your other colleagues that he might be
unreasonable at times.
You might even consider taking a short stroll, get a coffee, so that you
can come back to address this situation.
The thing is, the more time we spend thinking about something and
throwing up the different combinations and permutations on how it
might turn out, the more we make ourselves anxious and worried.
190
So on and so forth.
Reduce or even remove time from it and its decision making process.
Once your boss tells you about the client and passes you the
instructions to address the client, pick up the phone and execute.
Right away.
If you approach your fears and charge ahead offensively, you will
increase your odds of overcoming the fears and prevailing.
191
If you hold back and sink into your chair when calling the client, you
might end up being defeated by your fears.
Am I scared or am I selfish?
Some time ago I had the privilege of picking the brain of Jac Phillips,
Head of Brand and Marketing, Bank of Melbourne.
She got back to me really quickly and we arranged for time to catch
up in her office.
I must say that I was really honoured and excited to be able to meet a
high performer in the marketplace and to be able to just spend some
time so that I can gain some insights from her and pass those lessons
to the wider community out there.
192
On the afternoon of the meeting I was really nervous. I felt like I was
heading to a job interview even when I was waiting for Jac in the
reception area.
Hours before the meeting, I did think about postponing the meeting
because I was feeling a little “unwell”.
Then I took a good hard look at how I felt and what I was doing.
Therefore, it’s not about me. I’m doing it for the hundreds and
thousands of students, graduates, job seekers and professionals out
there who are hungering and aspiring to play a bigger game in the
marketplace.
193
With this, I pressed on and focused on what I could ask Jac and what
I could learn from her countless experiences in the industry.
In the end, I got way more than what I expected or asked for. I met
and learnt from a game changer in the marketplace who is so full of
passion and energy that it puts some 20-year-olds to shame.
So when you feel that you are too scared to do something, have a
hard look at what is really at stake if you hold back or refuse to
execute.
See things from a bigger perspective. You would realise that your
fears would start to seem less daunting when you view them with
respect to the grand scheme of things.
If, for example, you are too nervous to give a presentation to your
university lecture group, shift the focus from yourself to them. It’s
not really about you. It’s about what the audience can gain from
your sharing on stage. If you choose to step back because you are too
scared to go on the platform, you are actually depriving members of
the audience from learning something.
194
If you are too nervous to make the sales call to your customer
because you don’t want to be too pushy or you think that the
customer might refuse, think again. Why are you saying no to the
customer when he hasn’t even seen the product? What makes you so
sure that he wouldn’t need your product now or in the future? Your
job is not to be too concerned about your position or state of
emotions. Your job is to get out there and add value to your
prospects and customers.
195
196
17. KEEP LEARNING
The sad news is that many people stop learning once they leave
school. They think that their learning is done the moment they
graduate from university and that they know enough to start work.
On the other hand, the great news is that you don’t have to subscribe
to that. You can be a lifelong learner and you don’t have to be in
school to learn. In this connected and globalised age, we have
unprecedented access to a whole world of content, information and
resources – all at our fingertips.
The Rule of 70
197
This is how you can double your current level of skill and knowledge.
To put this in context, if you have $1000 in the bank and the bank
provides an annual interest of 2%, you would need 35 years for your
money to double in the bank from compounding interest.
70 divided by 2 = 35 years
And if for some reason the bank offers an annual interest rate of 7%,
you would only need (70 divided by 7) 10 years for that $1000 to
double.
On the same note, if the bank offers a daily interest rate of 1%, you
would need (70 divided by 1) 70 days for your $1000 to double.
What I did last November was to use the Rule of 70 for my own
personal development.
198
Based on this rule, if I was able to improve myself by 1% each day, I
would be twice as good after a mere 70 days or 10 weeks. How good
is that?
I would then record that one thing I learnt on my phone. And to date,
I have accumulated more than 600 insights.
Using the Rule of 70, set aside small timeslots each day to contribute
to your overall personal development.
The key is to start real small and stay consistent with it because it
would accumulate as time goes by.
199
Many people say that they don’t have time to do this or that, but I
think that’s just an excuse which they have imposed upon
themselves. If you really want something and if you really see the
value in something, then you would make the time for it. You won’t
find an excuse; you would find a way.
Imagine if you just spent 5-10 minutes each day to read a book. How
much knowledge and insights would you have gained by the end of
the year?
The truth is that time flies. We can be so caught up with the day-to-
day busyness that we lose track of time and suddenly realise that 3, 6,
9 or 12 months is over.
200
workdays a year, I would have expended 261 x 80 = 20,880 minutes or
348 hours on the road.
Malcolm Gladwell wrote a bestseller that has 301 pages for its
paperback version and the audible version of the book takes just 3
hours to complete listening.
I’m not saying that you should squeeze out every single second from
your commute to learn something. There would be days when you
just need some time and space to unwind. That’s totally fine.
I mean, I could listen to the radio with all its associated songs, news,
advertisements and gossip, or I could make better use of my time.
201
Since then, I’ve been listening to countless podcasts of motivation
speakers, business leaders and high performers. It’s a great way to
learn and challenge myself, as well as to perk myself up whether I’m
going to or returning from work.
How would you make the best use of your time as you are travelling
from place to place?
You could also spend your time more fruitfully in other ways. You
could watch a TED talk while ironing your clothes or listen to an
audible book while shopping for your groceries. There a just
countless ways to keep learning. Feel free to get creative!
202
Everybody has his own set of standards and everyone is where they
are at as a consequence of those standards, or lack of them.
If you look at someone who has a well-toned body like a Greek god,
what you are looking at is the result of the standards which he holds
and enforces upon himself.
203
Would waking up at 5am and hitting the gym before the sun rises be
a norm for them? Most likely.
I’m sure that if you have read this book till this point, you are serious
about developing yourself, and you see the need to challenge
yourself and to push past the status quo. That’s great!
So if you want to get results that you have not gotten before, then
you would have to start doing things which you have not done
before.
204
inside out? That you left the event feeling different and seeing the
world differently?
They say that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most
time with. That is so true, because our peers shape and influence our
world and perspectives.
So have a look at your life and your upcoming schedule in the near
future. Who would you be catching up with?
205
These people are made up of leaders, role models, experts,
influencers and mentors, and they have a big part to play in our
success and development, provided we set aside time to learn from
them.
Hang out with this group because you are in a position to influence
them as a peer. If you are going through a rough patch together, you
can be the one who encourages the rest to push forward.
Investing time into this group gives you the opportunity to give back
because you have received from someone in the first place. This is
your chance to inspire others and assure them that they would do
just fine because you have been there and done that yourself.
206
Keep networking and reaching out
How good is that? Don’t you think that it’s so worthwhile to just
spend 1 hour of your time to take hold of the lessons learnt over 40 –
60 years?
Someone said that we could either make mistakes of our own and
spend many years learning from them, or we could learn from the
mistakes of others, so that we don’t have to make them in the first
place. Which one saves more time?
207
In order to learn, one needs to be humble and teachable. Without
those traits, even the best lessons from the best teachers would not
be absorbed by the learner.
I truly believe that everyone has a story to tell and that everyone
could be a teacher, if we are willing to listen and to be taught.
There was one night when I stayed late in the office to finish up some
work for the next few days. It was around 8.30pm at night and the
office cleaners were around to clean and tidy up the place.
One of the cleaners, German, who was vacuuming the floors noticed
that we have a guitar in the office. He stopped vacuuming
momentarily and picked up the guitar and started strumming,
before getting back to cleaning up.
208
play in a band in a pub nearby and would like to get an office job
after he graduates.
209
18. KEEP GIVING BACK
Living a fruitful and meaningful life is not about meeting our own
needs and desires and accumulating fame, material goods and
reputation for ourselves. It’s about helping others, giving back and
finding our place to contribute to society at large.
What struck me was that even though many were poor in the areas
we frequented, they were willing to bless us with whatever they had
and to spend time with us.
210
whatever they had. And they did not let their poverty stop them from
giving to others.
When I came back from Kenya and hear about people complaining
about things like their train arriving late, their coffee not made to
their satisfaction or having too many lunch options to choose from, I
feel quite unsettled inside of me. I have complained about the same
things before, but after seeing how blessed and fortunate we are, I
realised that it is so easy to take things for granted.
211
Volunteer and do something without expecting anything in return
You can bring things to the next level by offering your time and
energy through volunteering. This is best done when you do not
expect to get anything in return.
You could spend some time talking to someone homeless, help out
in a retirement home, raise some funds for cancer research, do a run
to raise awareness for domestic violence. The options are endless.
Case in point: You had a bad day and you just feel like you need to be
left alone. You get home and your housemate went through
something similar as well.
So instead of doing a “pity party”, you decide to cheer him up, give
him a listening ear and offer him some encouragement, despite you
feeling down as well.
212
I bet you would feel encouraged and walk away lighter than you
entered into it.
Mentor someone
When you mentor someone, you are directly investing into that
person and indirectly investing into the people he would meet in the
course of his life.
213
If you have impacted him in a really profound way, he would bring
that difference and transformation and pass it on to the 21,900
people down the road.
This just goes to show that you are not just investing into a single
person. You will have a part to play in transforming his family, his
children’s family, his relatives, his social circle, his colleagues, his
business network, his fellow soccer buddies, etc.
And when you mentor someone, you are truly investing in the next
generation.
214
19. CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY
215
Are you the thermometer or the thermostat?
It’s so easy for people to whine about their situation and complain
about how “bad” their day is going. It’s also so easy to blame the
weather, the economy, the government, the universe, our
background, our colleagues, or others for the way things are.
216
It’s one thing to talk about the state of the situation, it’s another to
brainstorm and come up with solutions on how to deal with it.
And there might be days where you will wake up on the wrong side of
the bed. Would you head out saying that your day would be “bad”
because you didn’t sleep well and the train came late and someone
cut your queue in the cafe?
Or would you dictate that these things are trivial and that your day
would be great not because the stars align in your favour, but
because you chose to make it great?
And when you choose to make your day great, you would start to see
more of the positives in the day as well as the many opportunities
and possibilities within it.
With the wrong attitude, one would see the problems in the
possibilities and the obstacles in the opportunities.
But with the right attitude, he would see the possibilities in the
problems and the opportunities in the obstacles.
217
Like mentioned before, there are 2 major pains in life: the pain of
discipline and the pain of regret.
The former is less intense and temporal, but the latter is more
painful and it lingers.
Many people end up with regret because they simply chose the
easier path that is in front of them.
Take studying for example. One could face the pain of discipline by
studying and preparing for the exams, or he could choose the easy
way of winging it and realising that he has to repeat that same
subject the next semester. That’s the pain of regret in that context.
It’s true that we only live once. That’s the harsh truth.
218
But it’s also true that the world is your oyster. If we really open our
eyes and be willing to put ourselves out there, we would be amazed
at the amount of opportunities life can present to us.
The state you are in now is the result of past actions and decisions
you have made. If you are not happy with the status quo, then things
would have to change.
That’s so true.
The world is out there for your taking, and you have so much to offer.
You are the creator of your own destiny.
219
20. HUNGER, OBSESSION, ENERGY AND
SUCCESS
Drooling already?
220
Truth is, if you are hungry enough, somehow or rather, the food will
find its way to your stomach. Or you would find a way to get to the
food.
I’m not just talking about physical hunger, even though all of us can
relate to it and some might even experience it perpetually. I’m
referring to the hunger for success.
Are you hungry for success? How hungry, thirsty and desperate are
you to take yourself to the next level?
When we are physically satisfied and are not hungry, even the best
foods and delicacies wouldn’t appeal to us very much.
However, if we have not eaten for days, even the simplest of meals
would taste like heaven.
221
On the other hand, if you do crave and hunger for success, you
would be aware of the opportunities around you and you would be
willing to do whatever it takes to make things happen.
If you hunger to get a particular car, you would do all the research in
the world to find out more about it. You would watch video reviews
of it on Youtube. You would grab and glance through car magazines
to find out more. You would visit the car showroom to arrange for a
test drive. You would go to the bank to get a car loan. You would
make your purchase of the car.
And one of the most common worries is that they feel that they don’t
have much to offer to the professional.
“Why would the professional bother to take the time to meet with
me?”
222
When I caught up with a friend from church, who is probably in his
50’s or 60’s and has owned and ran a multi-million dollar software
company, he told me that he loves hanging out with younger people
because they bring so much passion, energy and enthusiasm. Plus
they are hungry, as compared to his counterparts who are much
more reserved, conservative and risk-averse.
That’s it!
It’s one thing to be passionate about your life, goals and ambition.
223
How obsessed are you in wanting to make your dreams happen and
to live a bigger life?
The resistance and obstacles which stand in your way on your path
to success will always be there.
There will always be something that will get in your way, someone
who doesn’t believe in you and something that could crop up.
When I was job searching, the jobs market was competitive and it
still is.
To put things into perspective, the state in which I lived in, Victoria,
Australia, produced a total of 95,116 fresh graduates in 2015 from
more than 9 of its universities and higher education institutions
(according to the Australian Government, Department of Education
and Training).
And in August 2015, there were only a total of 38,900 jobs – full-time,
part-time, contract and casual positions across all industries – in the
state (according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics).
224
It’s really a jungle out there.
If I thought that the jobs market was the way it is and remained
mediocre in my job search approach, I can guarantee you that I
might still be searching for a job right now, or be working in one
which does not fully utilise my skills (i.e. being underemployed).
The reason I managed to get out of that rut and start kicking goals
was that I resolved that I was deeply dissatisfied with being
unemployed (while doing odd jobs to pay the bills) and decided that
I would commit to doing whatever it takes to change my outcome.
225
My attitude was different. My work ethic improved. I was more
focussed and intentional in doing things which truly made a
difference to help me get my dream job – everything else was a mere
triviality or distraction.
The one thing which separates elite athletes from amateur ones is
that high achievers keep pushing themselves and they stop only
when they are done, while the amateurs stop when they are tired.
I know, you might have friends or people close to you who are saying
things like “Why are you pushing yourself so hard?”, “Why are you
working so hard”, “Just relax and take it easy...”
Sounds familiar?
Before you buy into their advice, consider where they came from.
It is highly likely that those who encourage you to “not push yourself
too hard” have already decided for themselves that they are
“satisfied where they are”.
226
Take all advice with a pinch of salt. Only accept and listen to those
which benefit and apply to you.
How energetic are you? How much energy do you bring into your
day and into your circumstances?
So how does this energy dynamic work? And why does it even
matter?
I realised for myself that the topic of energy is seldom or never taught
in business schools, lectures, workshops or conferences.
Energy is important!
227
Have you ever been so drained, tired, exhausted and lethargic that
even the simplest of tasks like getting dinner or collecting your mail
felt like carrying the weight of the whole world?
The more energy you have, the more work you can do.
The more energy you have, the more confidence you would bring
into your situation.
The more energy you have, the more you are able to face and
overcome setbacks, resistance and failures.
The more energy you have, the more likely it is that people would be
drawn to you.
The more energy you have, the more you are able to seize the
opportunities that come your way.
228
If you are jobless and lethargic, you might be dragging your feet to an
interview and others might perceive you as not being interested to
change or improve your situation.
If you are jobless but energetic, you would be bringing passion and
enthusiasm into your interview. You would be finding ways to
improve your situation. You would not let your lack of employment
stop you from pursuing greatness.
If you are employed and lethargic, you might end up going through
the motions of the workweek. Clocking in at 9am and clocking out at
5pm. Always looking forward to the weekends and dreading it when
Monday draws near. You might be doing the bare minimum in your
job and go around being disengaged and disinterested. Would
anyone love to work with a colleague like that?
If you are employed and energetic, you start your day with purpose
and are on the lookout for ways to add value to your work, colleagues
and customers. You find joy and satisfaction in what you do, despite
the challenges that you face along the way. You are wholehearted in
what you do and always give your 100%. What kind of impression
would you be leaving with your workmates?
229
How you turn up at the start of the day determines how the day turns
out.
Also, when you exercise, you get your body moving, your heart rate
up and your blood pumping. When you finish the workout, you are
rewarded with a dopamine rush and a sense of accomplishment –
even before others have woken up. How good is that?
230
Our bodies need time to attain a full state of wakefulness after we get
out of bed.
If we get up just in time to rush into and out of the bathroom and out
of the door for work, most likely we would be half-asleep on our
commute.
Or do you drag your feet and try to merely survive the day?
231
How do you see success?
One of the most famous and prominent salesperson and sales coach
from the United States, Grant Cardone, says that “Success is your
duty, responsibility and obligation.”
In the good old days, doing just enough might be good enough.
You go to college, you graduate from university and you enter the
workforce.
You remain loyal and faithful to your employer and to the company
you work for until you retire.
You clock in at 9am and clock out at 5pm. You work 5 days a week
and have 2 weekends off for yourself. You do what is within your job
description and you don’t push the envelope or rock the boat. You
follow orders and you follow them well.
232
However, in today’s day and age, doing enough is sometimes not
good enough.
If you do just enough and there is someone else out there who might
have half the experience and qualifications compared to you, but
double the drive, energy and motivation to do whatever it takes to
succeed, who do you think would be ahead of the game in no time?
You need to see success not only as something you deserve, but as
something which part of your core DNA and identity.
233
On the same vein, you need to see success as not something out
there, but something that is already in you and is just waiting to be
manifested through what you do.
You are not doing it just for yourself. You are doing it for the kids.
You are influencing your kids, who will then influence countless
others over the course of their lives. And this is really a big deal.
234
of success of the company. You are not doing it just for yourself. You
are doing it for your colleagues, your boss and your customers. And
you are also doing it for your friends and family by bringing the
bacon home.
235
21. CLOSING WORDS
There is no doubt that there will be times in your life and journey
that you would undergo a combination of stress, doubt, anxiety,
disappointment, burnout, fatigue, uncertainty, frustration and
despair.
But what separates the successful from the mediocre is that they pick
themselves up quickly after they fall.
What matters more is not how hard you fall, but how fast you pick
yourself up.
Know that you are more capable and resilient than you think you
are. You have no idea what you are truly capable of.
You don’t have to wait for the stars to align or for the perfect
moment. You go out there and make the moment perfect.
236
I’m so excited and honoured to share this journey with you. You will
have your own set of unique struggles, challenges, successes and
victories. Whenever you feel like giving up, know that the champions
and giants who went before you felt exactly the same way at one
point or another.
You are not a problem looking for a solution out there to “make your
life easier/better”. You are the solution looking to solve a problem or
issue out there.
You are a champion. You are a game changer. You are an agent of
change.
I would love to meet you one day at an event and hear about the
wonderful stories and things which are happening in your life.
237
Feel free to connect with me on:
• email: [email protected]
• LinkedIn: https://au.linkedin.com/in/sohdominic
• the website: http://industry-bootcamp.com
So all the best, dream large, very large, and take care. I’ll see you
around!
238