Unsuck Your Career

Download as pdf or txt
Download as pdf or txt
You are on page 1of 243

Unsuck

Your
Career
The no-bullsh*t guide to getting your
dream job and thriving in tomorrow’s
marketplace.

Dominic Soh
This book is dedicated to God, and to my dear friends and
family, who have always been there for me and have always
believed in me even when I doubted myself at times.

You didn’t just see carbon, you saw a diamond.


You didn’t just see a cub, you saw a lion.
You didn’t just see a seed, you saw a towering oak tree.

Because you have invested in me, it is my joy, duty and


privilege to give it back to others and to the world out
there so that others can succeed and be game changers in
their own right.
Copyright © 2017 by Dominic Soh.

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced
or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of
the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN 978-0-6482196-0-6
CONTENTS

1. MY STORY
2. WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR AND NOT
3. WHY TALK ABOUT CAREERS
// GET YOUR DREAM JOB
4. 3 Ps TO BE THE DREAM CANDIDATE
5. PERSON (PART 1)
Do you have what it takes to be a superb professional?
6. PERSON (PART 2)
What’s your personal brand?
7. PROCESS (PART 1)
Who do you know?
8. PROCESS (PART 2)
How to be a job hunting superstar.
9. PRODUCT
What are you working on right now? What value can you bring to
the table?
// EXCEL IN THE MARKETPLACE
10. GETTING THE JOB IS ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG
11. INVEST IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
12. DEALING WITH PEOPLE
13. DEALING WITH CHANGE
14. DEALING WITH STRESS
15. DEALING WITH FAILURE
16. DEALING WITH FEAR
17. KEEP LEARNING
18. KEEP GIVING BACK
19. CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY
20. HUNGER, OBSESSION, ENERGY AND SUCCESS
21. CLOSING WORDS
1. MY STORY

I was born and raised in the sunny and beautiful island and country
called Singapore.

After finishing my degree in mechanical engineering in 2010, my


close friends and I decided to head to Australia for our graduation
trip - to spend a week each in Melbourne and Sydney.

During the trip while sitting along Bourke Street in Melbourne


watching people pass us by, I fell in love with Melbourne and the
country and wondered what it would be like to live and work there.

So when I got back to Singapore I shared my plans with my parents


and for some serendipitous reason, they supported it and even said
that I was part of their plan from long ago.

With this, I arrived in Melbourne on February 2011. I was enrolled in


the Master of Engineering Management and the Graduate Diploma
of Management in The University of Melbourne. I started with the
former first and proceeded to do the latter in 2012.

1
I graduated from my studies in late 2012, applied and received my PR
(Permanent Residency) status in early 2013 and got 2 job offers as
well. One was sales/tech support role in a fast-growing tech startup
while the other was a management trainee position for an ice cream
business along Lygon Street.

I decided to go for the tech startup.

At this point of time, I was over the moon because my dream of


studying, settling and working in Australia had come true. It was
utterly exhilarating and indescribable.

However, life has a funny way of doing things and things did take a
turn.

1 to 2 months into my startup role and I was already stressed beyond


measure. Little did I know that this role was sales-focused which
meant that I had targets to reach. And this meant having to go up to
the managers or owners of cafes and restaurants to sell our product
offerings to them.

Thing is, I wasn’t too confident in going up to strangers and talking


to them, let alone sell them something. As a result, I wasn’t able to
meet my targets on a constant basis.

2
And what happens when an employee doesn’t perform up to
standard for a prolonged period of time?

I wished someone would coach and mentor me on how to sell to


customers and to communicate value to them. I longed for someone
who could believe in me and take me under his/her wings so that I
could develop and refine the skills required for the job. And I craved
for someone to give me constant feedback about my performance
and to come up with ways to work on it if it has fallen short.

But the harsh reality is that sometimes you don’t get what you want,
or in this case, what I truly needed for my professional growth.

I got let go by the startup.

This came as a huge shock to my system because I have never


experienced being fired before - not to mention from my first job
fresh out of university.
I took a couple of weeks to process things and it didn’t really help
that the weather was perpetually gloomy during that winter month.

3
On the flipside, there was a part of me that felt free. It was as if I was
liberated from something which was soul-draining, something
which was in sheer misalignment to my skillset.

After the “recovery” period, I knew deep down inside of me that I


had and needed to move on.

There’s a time to cry, a time to grieve as well as a time to wipe your


tears, pick yourself up and move ahead in the game.

I jumped straight into the job hunt. Again.

So I went back into the swing of things applying for jobs – primarily
entry level ones and graduate positions.

And I got the typical results. It’s either I don’t hear from the
company at all or I receive the “politically correct” letter of rejection
for the application.

Dear Dominic,

Thank you for submitting your resume and for showing interest in
XYZ Company.

Although your application was met with considerable interest we


have decided to proceed with other applications whose work history
and qualifications are more closely aligned with our current needs.

4
However, we would like to keep your details on file. Should a
similar or suitable role become available that matches your profile
we will be sure to contact you. In the future should you wish to
submit your application for any opportunities, please continue to
visit our website at www.XYZCompany.com.au/careers

Again, please accept our thanks for your interest in our firm.

We wish you every success in your career pursuits.

Kindest regards,
XYZ Company HR Team

Sounds familiar?

It then dawned upon me the quote from Albert Einstein “Insanity:


doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different
results”.

I knew deep down inside of me that if things were to change, I


needed to do something different.

So I had this idea for creating a careers magazine, since I know of


many other people who are in the same boat as I am and we could all
use some help in this journey.

5
The print and online magazine was basically a compilation of jobs
and careers advice sourced from online writers, hiring managers,
recruiters and HR experts. We (my project partner and I) also
included some study tips and advice since our target audience
consists of university students and fresh job seekers.

Through hustling with this magazine project, we managed to reach


3000-4000 students in 6 Victorian universities, and it gave me the
opportunity to conduct career workshops in The University of
Melbourne and in RMIT (for their Global Careers Week 2014).

I was absolutely thrilled by this and was really honoured to be able to


impact so many students and meet numerous people through this
project.

Looking back at the job search process, I realised that I had been
applying for jobs in mechanical engineering and
business/management consulting simply because I was qualified in
them, but not because I was truly passionate about going into those
fields.

If you asked me why I want to do engineering or consulting, I


couldn’t give you a compelling and riveting answer.

6
With this in mind, I decided to apply for jobs in the training, learning
and development space, since I thoroughly enjoyed conducting my
first personal development seminar in Singapore (before flying off
for Melbourne) and had several opportunities to do careers
workshops for universities.

I had a compelling reason now because I love bringing out the best
in others and I believe that everyone deserves to excel in work and in
life.

Thus, I highlighted my relevant workshop experience as well as my


passion for training and development in my cover letters and
resumes, and sent them out.

To my surprise, I started getting replies.

For the 7 training jobs which I applied for, I got 4 invitations for an
interview, and 2 of them led to offers, and I gladly accepted one of
them. The time span between sending out the revised resume and
job offer was a mere 12 days.

It was really an amazing journey, albeit a rollercoaster ride, because I


counted 526 resumes which were sent out over a period of 561 days.

7
You can find my career story and insights featured on several
Australian news outlets including The Age, Sydney Morning Herald,
News.com.au and The Herald Sun.

So why did I write this book?

It’s because I’ve been through the job search process myself and
know that it’s not easy and it’s only going to get more competitive.

I’m on a mission, a personal one, to help as many students,


individuals, job seekers, graduates and professionals as I can to excel
in the marketplace. I believe that each one of us has so much to offer
to the world and I want to help them make it happen.

You are one of them!

8
2. WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR AND NOT

Before we jump into the materials of this book, I think that it’s
important to properly define who this book caters to ideally, and
who this book is not for.

In essence, this book is for anyone who is serious about developing


himself personally and professionally.

It’s for the student who seeks to prepare himself for the workplace
even before he graduates because he knows that the things taught in
the classroom is never sufficient to guarantee success in the
boardroom.

It’s for the job seeker who wishes to get a head start above his peers
in the job hunt. For the candidate who desires to get his dream job
despite the existing market conditions and competition in the jobs
pool.

It’s for the person who sees the value in self development and
professional growth.

It’s for the one who wants to live a fuller life, to make an impact
around him and to leave a lasting legacy at the end of the day.

9
It’s also for the one who recognises that being a professional is not
just about living from paycheck to paycheck, clocking hours and
blindly following the crowd and routines. It’s for him who wants to
make a difference in the marketplace and to leave the workplace way
better than the state in which he arrived in.

It’s for the individual who wants or is already able to see beyond his
own needs and wants. For the person who wants to challenge the
status quo, rock the boat, push the envelope and play a bigger game.

It’s for the go-getter who is determined and even obsessed about
making things happen and getting things done. For the one who
doesn’t find excuses, but finds a way instead. And for the one who
would do whatever it takes to move things forward, and to not let
anything stand in his way.

So who is this book not for?

This book is not for those who are obsessed about consuming
information without doing anything about what they learnt. Think
seminar-junkies who just love to attend seminars, workshops and
conferences year in and year out. I do admire their passion and
enthusiasm for such learning and developmental opportunities, but
what’s the point of taking in so much knowledge if he doesn’t put it
into practice?

10
This book isn’t for those who are simply content with the way things
are. If you are easily satisfied with the status quo and think that there
isn’t much need or urgency to improve yourself and your
boundaries, then you might want to pass this book to someone else.

This book isn’t for those who want an easy way out in the job search
process. Truth is, it’s going to be hard work and it’s going to cost
you. If one isn’t willing to do whatever it takes, then he shouldn’t
expect much returns and results from his efforts.

Also, this book isn’t for the one who actions things on impulse.
Think of the friend who attended a 3-day health seminar. He’s back
and he’s announced to the whole world that for the next 3 weeks,
he’s going to exercise daily and avoid sugar and carbs. Sounds like a
great plan! However, as the days go by you realise that he’s losing
steam and just a week into his regime, he threw in the towel and his
physical lifestyle is back to the same way as it was before the
seminar.

Thing is, growth and development is a marathon, not a sprint, and


the skills and insights you’d learn in this book require sustained and
disciplined application before you start seeing results.

The saying that success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration is so


true. Reading the contents of this book and learning new ideas, tricks

11
and techniques is only 1% of the equation - it’s the easy part. The
other tough part, the 99% bit, is all about action and
implementation. It’s about putting what you’ve learnt into practice,
evaluating the results and reiterating again, so that you don’t make
the same mistakes over and over again.

The fact that you have picked up this book and read till this point is
already an indicator that you are serious about your career and
professional development.

So roll up your sleeves and brace yourself for the dive! This
adventure is going to be exciting!

12
3. WHY TALK ABOUT CAREERS

The short answer as to why we should pay good attention to our


careers and its development is because we are going to do it for the
rest of our lives.

The first reason.

While it may normal to use the terms “jobs” and “careers”


interchangeably, there are huge distinctions between the two.

A job is more about getting things done. It’s merely transactional -


you invest your time and energy into something and you get
something back from it.

On the other hand, a career is more than something that is


transactional - it is transformational.

A career is something meaningful which you build not only for


yourself but for the people and the world around you.

A synonym for the word “career” is “vocation”. And the word


vocation is derived from its Latin root vocare, which means “to call”.

13
Therefore, you can safely say that you career should go hand in hand
with your life’s calling.

On top of that, “to call” means to communicate, which implies that


your career is how you communicate your skills, strengths, talents
and passions to the world. It is the vehicle which you use to express
yourself.

The second reason.


It’s logical to see why someone who spend so much time and energy
planning for a month-long vacation to Europe, right? After all, he
would want to make that trip as enjoyable and memorable as
possible. And not to mention how much leave he has to apply for
and how much money that’s going to be put into the trip.

The funny thing is that we can be so obsessed about planning for our
holidays which, truth to be told, don’t really end up that life-
changing and earth-shaking at the end of the day.

And when it comes to our careers, it’s easy for us to enter into it
without much thought and assume things will work itself out along
the way.

The thing is that we would be engaged in our careers for the majority
of our lives once we finish school.

14
And wouldn’t it be important for one to have proper thought and
consideration about something which he would be doing for the rest
of his life?

The third reason.

Whatever happens inside of us leaks or spills out to those around us.

Imagine someone who absolutely loves what he does and does what
he loves. You would be able to sense and smell him from over a
hundred miles away. His drive, excitement and passion would
emanate from him even without him saying a word. You could just
feel his vibe and his strong presence when he steps into the room.
And when he opens his mouth, your heart and being would be set
ablaze as well.

Conversely, imagine someone else who hates and detests what he


does. As he approaches, you could already feel his dread and misery.
The closer he gets and the more time you spend with him, the more
your soul is weighed down and your spirit suppressed. And you
know nothing great would come out from his mouth - mainly just
plain old whining and whinging.

In a nutshell, whether you love or hate what you do, it will find its
way to leak out from you.

15
It’s the same reason how people who are generous and gracious to
others tend to love their own selves and have a high self-esteem. This
is because it’s hard to love others if you don’t love and respect
yourself in the first place.

Whatever that happens inside of you will eventually find its way to
manifest itself in your external world.

With this in mind, if one is dissatisfied with his career, others will
somehow find out about it. He might share it with those around him,
or his body language would do the talking.

And he keeps going around spreading this negative vibe, how


unhealthy would it be for his friends, family, peers and colleagues?

Wouldn’t it be better if he placed more thought on his career to find


out what actually excites him and pursues it instead?

On the other hand, how wonderful it would be if he absolutely loved


what he did? He would be spreading his enthusiasm to everyone he
meets. He would be the life of the party and the battery to his
surroundings.

Who wouldn’t love to hang around and have a friend who’s


passionate about life and about what he does?

16
17
// GET YOUR DREAM JOB

18
4. 3 Ps TO BE THE DREAM CANDIDATE

Here’s the truth.

The dream/ideal job, career or position is out there.

I choose to believe that we live in a world of abundance and


boundless opportunities.

What you are looking for is somewhere out there and someone out
there is able to help you get it. This applies to your dreams, goals,
ambitions, possessions, etc.

The question is whether you have what it takes to get it.

So, your dream job is out there waiting for you to seize. You might
aspire to become an engineer, a social media specialist, a blogger, a
celebrity, an athlete, or you might be seeking a particular position
like a manager, supervisor, CEO, director, etc.

It’s out there and you just have to be the right person for the job.

19
Too many people focus too much on pursuing their dream jobs
without considering whether they have what it takes to get the job in
the first place.

If you want to go after your dream girl, but you haven’t gotten your
life in order and in check, what do you think your odds are?

Likewise, instead of obsessing solely on your dream job, redirect


your efforts and energies to making yourself the dream candidate.

Strive to be someone with strong values, character, morals and


purpose. Be the professional who has a great and unstoppable
attitude and who is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job
done.

There are 3 keys to becoming a dream candidate.

The Person. Are you developing yourself? Do you have what it takes?
Can you perform under pressure? Do you have the drive and
initiative?

The Process. How familiar and confident are you in the job search
process? Are you strategic in your approach to reach out to
employers?

20
The Product. What can you offer? Do you have great value to offer to
employers that make yourself irresistible to them?

21
5. PERSON (PART 1)
Do you have what it takes to be a superb professional?

Before even jumping into the mechanics and intricacies of the job
search process, it’s important to examine yourself first.

Do you have the substance to offer great value to your future


employer and to be a great team player? Do you see yourself in a
good and positive light? Do you think you have the confidence and
competence to showcase and deliver your value?

The steak and the sizzle

I will never forget this moment where I had the great opportunity to
be a career consultant to university students for an information day.
The event had speakers who talked about student support services,
student rights, immigration issues and employment matters.

There were more than 200+ students who came for that event and I
had a table where I got to sit down with students and review their
resumes.

22
What struck me was that the most-asked question was how do I
format my resume?

Don’t get me wrong.

I believe that a resume’s layout, structure and format are very


important. It needs to be neat and professional looking, while not
getting in the reader’s way. There are plenty of resumes out there
which are noisy, cluttered and unprofessional; make sure yours is
not one of them.

The interesting thing was that I spoke to a student who studies in a


reputable university. He shared with me that he did approach the
careers department of his institute to get help with formatting the
resume. After getting it tweaked, he sent it out to the jobs market but
did not get a favourable response.

The point is this: a properly or even perfectly formatted resume isn’t


everything.

Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering a steak. After spending a


couple of minutes chatting with your friends, your nose picks up this
irresistible aroma coming from the kitchen. Soon enough the smell
gets stronger and you hear the sizzle. Your heart beats faster in eager
anticipation for your long-awaited steak to satiate your hunger

23
pangs. When the waiter lays the plate in front of you, your
exhilaration was suddenly relegated to a saddening dissatisfaction.

The steak looked utterly disappointing. It was not what you were
expecting. Your appetite goes down the drain and the reasons to
complain piles up.

Has this happened to you before? It certainly has for me.

The goes the same for your resume.

Even being armed with the best designed resume (sizzle), you would
miss the mark if you don’t have substance to back it up (steak).

Therefore, both the steak and the sizzle are important.

Confidence and competence

24
I can’t help it but to show you these.

These 2 drawings are hand-sketched by my colleague’s girlfriend’s


brother, I think.

I have shown these pictures in many of my workshops to get the


participants to come up with a dollar value on how much they would
pay of each one.

For instance, if you had a close friend who is an avid art lover and
you could purchase one of these pieces and have it nicely framed,
wrapped and delivered, how much would you be willing to fork out?

Some say $20. Some $50, upwards to $250.

You know what’s the sad news?

It’s that they are not for sale. It’s not because someone else has
already placed a reservation months in advance. It’s because the
artist thinks that his work is “not good enough”.

Sounds familiar? Phrases like “I don’t think I’m good enough.”,


“Who would pay attention to me?” and “Who would even buy this
from me?”

25
I think it’s quite sad because the artist sees that his work doesn’t
make the mark and that it is far from being worthy enough to be
bought, while others and prospective buyers saw great value in those
pieces of art, and are willing to pay hundreds of dollars for them.

Does this ring a bell about either ourselves or some of those around
us?

Do we have that friend who’s so good at singing, but instantly shies


away when we ask him to do a paid performance for a wedding? Or
that friend who is so capable with computers and can fix any
technical or technological problem in a heartbeat, but disregards the
praises which others give about his work?

How about yourself?

What have you been saying to yourself (in your head) about your
own abilities? What kinds of thoughts do you usually entertain?

Do you truly believe that you have something amazing to offer to the
world, or do you put down your talents and abilities and think that
you will only be good enough one day?

Confidence and competence need to go hand in hand.

26
I’ve come across people who are extremely confident - they can be
very expressive, outgoing and opinionated - but fall short on having
the actual abilities to make things happen.

On the other hand, I’ve had my fair share of friends who are
absolutely proficient in their craft but aren’t really confident enough
to showcase their value to the rest of the world.

We need both confidence and competence - a mouth to tell a story to


the world and hands to manifest that story.

Mindset and skillset

Mindset + Skillset = Asset

Similar to confidence and competence, a person’s mindset and


skillset are both equally important. One suffers when the other
suffers, and one prospers when the other prospers.

Here are the 3 mindsets and the 3 skillsets that have served me really
well in my own personal and professional growth. I’ll talk about
them briefly here because the following chapters would touch on
some of them.

Mindset 1: The best way to learn is to fail forward


Mindset 2: If you can’t find opportunities, make them

27
Mindset 3: Your fears are only as scary as you allow them to be

Skillset 1: People Skills


Skillset 2: Networking
Skillset 3: Ability to learn and adapt

Mindset 1: The best way to learn is to fail forward

I’m not saying that I want you to fail in life, or that you should go
about looking to fail at things.

What I’m trying to get at is that the best opportunities lie outside our
comfort zones and pursuing things outside our comfort zones
exposes us to a greater risk of failing – since we are threading in
unfamiliar territory and doing things which might be uncomfortable.

The risk of failure is there and it may be high, but that’s not your
business.

Your business is how you respond when you actually fail.

Do you wail and whine and blame the entire world for what has
happened to you? Or do you pick yourself up and move on?

28
Do you see it as damage to your identity and reputation? Or do you
view it as a learning opportunity to better yourself for future
attempts?

So have a look at your life and identify some of the opportunities


which lie outside of your comfort zone.

What’s out there? What happens when you actually achieve them?
What’s stopping you? If you stuff up, what’s the worst that could
happen? If you fail, is it really that bad?

Mindset 2: If you can’t find opportunities, make them

The one key thing which struck me when I read Robert Kiyosaki’s
“Rich Dad, Poor Dad” was that when presented with a luxury item
(like a car, house, gadget, handbag, etc), most poor people would say
something like “I can’t afford it.” However, the rich would ask
themselves “How can I afford it?”

It’s good to describe the problem. It’s better to prescribe a solution.

It’s one thing to be problems-focused. It’s another to be solutions-


oriented.

29
Do you think like the poor or like the rich?

Do you just talk about the problem at hand, or do you devise ways to
formulate a solution?

Too many students claim that the jobs market is tough and getting a
job is never going to get easier. I can’t agree with them more because
I’ve been through it myself.

However, merely talking about the reality of the jobs market is not
going to get you the job.

Telling yourself that you don’t have enough experience to fulfil the
job requirements is not going to change anything.

Instead, I want you to challenge yourself to take things a notch


higher.

I want you to ask yourself “How can I work this out?” or “How can I
make things happen?” whenever you are faced with a gargantuan
challenge in your job search.

30
If the job requirements ask for 1-3 years of management consulting
experience for an entry-level position, how do you think you could
create that experience for yourself? What could you do about it?

Perhaps you could offer pro-bono consulting to a local small


business down the road or for a charity or not-for-profit.

And what if you get rejected?

That’s not your problem.

Your business is in reaching out to them. The worst that could


happen is they reject or ignore you, and nothing happens out of it.
And that’s the same as if you were to do nothing. So you might as
well give it a shot. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. As long
as you try, there’s a chance that you would succeed.

Mindset 3: Your fears are only as scary as you allow them to be

March 2014, Lake Taupo, New Zealand.

I was standing at the counter to process my registration for a bungee


jump. And I have a fear of heights.

31
After they confirmed my booking, measured by weight and gave me
the safety briefing, they got me to proceed to the jump platform
which protruded from a cliff face.

It’s getting real now.

Soon after, I found myself being fitted with the harness and strapped
up, and in no time, I took the jump of my life.

I survived, of course!

The fear was real. My palms were cold and sweaty and my heart was
racing. But I knew deep down inside of me that I could either let the
fear get the better of me and back down from the jump, or I could
choose to feel and acknowledge the fear and do the jump anyway.

A few hours after the bungee jump, I found myself skydiving at


20,000 feet.

Back to the idea about opportunities which lie outside your comfort
zone. What are you afraid of? Public speaking? Meeting new people
in a networking session? Reaching out to strangers? Cold calling?
Door knocking?

32
Your fears are only as scary as you allow them to be.

If you make a big deal out of them, they will be a big deal to you, and
I can guarantee that they will get in your way.

However, if you choose to not make them a big deal, they you will
most likely overcome them.

So what’s holding you back?

Skill Set 1: People Skills

Learn how to deal with and work with people.

But before you go there, do take a hard look at how you view
yourself.

What is your level of self-esteem? How do you see and perceive the
person you see in the mirror every morning? Are you satisfied with
what you see? Or are you outraged and disappointed with what the
mirror presents?

This is important because what happens in your internal world will


find its way to manifest itself in your external environment.

33
For instance, if I have low self-esteem and I despise myself, that
would leak out into my friendships and social circles. Because I don’t
see much worth in myself, I won’t have much to give and invest in
others, which means that I won’t really see my friendships and
relationships in the best light.

However, if I see great value in myself, I would be in a better position


to call out and recognise the greatness in others.

A famous bible verse says “To love your neighbour as yourself.” How
would one be able to love others if he doesn’t even love himself in
the first place?

The key to having robust people skills is to understand that


communication is key in dealing with people.

And did you know that everybody is a salesman?

You don’t have to be working in an insurance firm or in a car


dealership to be a salesperson.

As long as you are communicating, you are selling.

34
Whenever we communicate, we are selling either an identity (“I am
hungry!”), information (“There’s a nice steakhouse 2 blocks down
the road.”) or influence (“Now that we are done with this project,
shall we have dinner at the steakhouse down the road?”).

I would never forget the coffee conversation I had with Teigan, the
former Training and HR Program Manager at Ericsson. She said
“More and more jobs are being outsourced or replaced by
technology and automation. Those that are left remain because they
require the human element. It’s having people skills that will make
you indispensable in the workplace.”

Having technical skills is great, but if I really had to choose between


one of the two, I would go for people skills over technical skills.

The gap for technical skills can be met through outsourcing,


technology or automation, but the gap for people skills is much
harder to replace.

Skill Set 2: Networking

Once again, if you have a fear of networking and meeting new


people, do you best to overcome and get over it. The faster you do,
the more you would be able to expand your network and the more
opportunities you would have before you.

35
Many people, especially international students, love hanging out
among themselves.

There’s no surprise to that because it’s normal human inclination to


stick to things and people who are familiar and similar to you. In this
case, people who look like you, talk like you, eat the same foods as
you, have a similar accent to you, who come from the same region or
country as you, etc.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

However, if you just stick to your same group of friends and people
similar to you, then you might be missing out on getting to know
people who are different to you.

And it is through such differences and diversity that we broaden our


horizons, learn new things, stretch our perspectives and expand our
worldview.

Have you had a conversation with a role model or a high performing


individual that just blew your mind away? That a few sentences from
her could just shake up your entire worldview and cause you to see
things in a different way?

36
I’ve had many of those, and they are possible because I chose to
network and reach out to people who are way ahead of me in the
game.

Skill Set 3: Ability to learn and adapt

The key to having the ability to learn and adapt is in being


comfortable in getting out of our comfort zones. In other words, get
comfortable being uncomfortable.

Truth is, everything around us is changing. And sometimes faster


and harder than we want it to.

After graduation, you might work in a different country. Your


colleagues might be from a different country. Your clients might be
from a different country as well. Your job scope could be totally
unrelated to what you studied in university. The culture you are so
familiar with in school might be totally different from the corporate
culture you would face at work.

Change is the only constant, and to be ahead of the game, one needs
to be able to learn and adapt.

37
The starting point to begin honing this skill is to embrace and
appreciate changes which may come in your life from this point on.
Start to see change as an opportunity to learn and grow and discover
new things.

It might be uncomfortable but you would get better and tougher as


you go along.

On top of that, by being able to learn, stagnation and a skills shortage


would not be a problem for you. And by being able to adapt, coping
with change would not be an issue and you would be able to thrive
and survive in any given circumstance.

Develop the leader in you

I believe that leadership is not just a skill for managers, people-


movers and high performers.

Leadership is not just a skill that is limited to the workforce and the
marketplace.

38
Leadership is a life skill, and my stand is that every one ought to
develop his own leadership skill as an individual before applying it to
a team or organisation.

I read an article on Inc which talks about the top 10 skills every great
leader needs to succeed. It was based on asking more than 330,000
bosses, peers and subordinates to rank the top 10 leadership skills
which are necessary for success.

I’ll also add on how you can develop each skill on your own and start
applying it in your own life.

1. Inspires and motivates others

Great leaders inspire others with a strong vision and they bring out
the best in others even when they don’t believe in the cause or in
themselves.

To start off: Define your purpose and compelling reason as to why


you are pursuing a certain career path. Is it because you really want
to help people, make the world a better place, eradicate pollution,
increase health standards, etc?

2. Displays high integrity and honesty

39
Great leaders are trustworthy and they can be relied on. They are
wholehearted in their words and efforts.

To start off: When you say you are going to do something, stick to it,
even when circumstances and emotions change. When you are tried
and tested, can you stick it out?

3. Solves problems

Great leaders don’t only strive to see the problems from different
perspectives. They are solutions-oriented and they empower their
members to solve the problems together.

To start off: Don’t just describe the problems you face in your life. Be
proactive and start prescribing solutions. In group projects, be the
one who suggests and vocalises possible solutions to problems.

4. Results-driven

40
Great leaders don’t sit back to wait for things to happen. They get
their teams together to make things happen.

To start off: What is a problem or challenge you face in your life? Do


something about it and note the outcome.

5. Communicates effectively and powerfully

Great leaders communicate with their people often, in varying ways


and for various reasons. Whether it’s to discuss performance,
strategy, feedback, criticism or to praise, great leaders know that a
lack of communication can severely undermine the team.

To start off: Organise a dinner gathering or a party with your friends.


Who would you need to inform about the venue, time and date? How
would you liaise with the restaurant? What would you do if people do
a raincheck last minute?

6. Builds relationships

Managers are transactional but leaders are transformational. Great


leaders treat their people with trust and respect, because that will
make people go from “I have to do it” to “I want to do it.”

41
To start off: Strive to add value to your existing relationships. Send a
note of appreciation or encouragement to a friend with no
expectations. Extend kindness unconditionally.

7. Displays technical or professional expertise

Great leaders start off with a specific skill like sales, marketing,
accounting, or using certain software. They then build up the team
by recruiting people who can fill up the relevant skill gaps.

To start off: Identify a particular skill you have. Make the deliberate
effort to hone and sharpen that skill.

8. Exhibits a strategic perspective

Great leaders have a long term vision and perspective of the future,
and they are not bogged down by petty and trivial issues in the
interim.

To start off: If you could do anything for your career 5 years down the
road, what would it be? How would you get there? If you have no
idea, start brainstorming and putting pen to paper.

42
9. Develops others

Great leaders not only develop themselves consistently, they set


aside time and resources to bring out the best in others. They stretch
others and put them in roles and positions where they can shine.

To start off: Go mentor a junior. Speak into his life and challenge him
to go the next level.

10. Innovates

Great leaders understand that innovation is key to solving problems


and getting ahead in a fast-moving and fast-changing world and
economy.

Based on General Electric’s 2012 Global Innovation Barometer,


which surveyed 2800 senior executives on the state of innovation
around the world, 92% agreed with the statement “Innovation is the
main lever to create a more competitive economy.” And 86% agreed
that “Investing in innovation is probably the best way to create jobs
in my country.”

43
To start off: Write down a problem which you face every day. It could
be traffic congestion, long lines at the cafe, long wait times at the
supermarket checkout, jumpy wifi signal strength, etc. And write
down how you could go about tackling that problem. What would
you do if you were the leader of a team that is charged with solving
that problem?

You are the solution, not the problem

Many people go out with the notion that they have a problem (i.e.
they need a job, they need to pay the bills, they need something to
work on) and they are going out to look for a solution (i.e. getting the
job).

However, I want to challenge you to turn this belief upside down.

Instead, see yourself as the solution (i.e. you have skills, talent,
passion and energy) and that you are looking to solve a problem out
there (i.e. lack of education, inefficiency, lack of customer
satisfaction, poverty, etc).

44
6. PERSON (PART 2)
What’s your personal brand?

Communication is a key skill which employers look for because no


matter what the project or industry is, people will always be
involved. This could be your team members, suppliers, vendors,
distributors, clients, the local council, your insurer, the project
manager, etc.

And when we communicate, we are essentially selling something,


and in this case, you are trying to sell your value to potential
employers. This can be done best by having a strong personal brand.

In this chapter, we look at the job candidate not only as a person, but
as a brand, and discuss how you can craft an unforgettable brand
and communicate that value to others.

The personal brand

What is a brand, or what comes to your mind when we talk about


brands?

45
Some might say it’s the logo, or the tagline, or the colour scheme
used on a company’s product packaging.

That’s part of the brand.

A brand consists of those physical characteristics (logo, tagline,


packaging) and it even extends to the feelings and characteristics
attributed to the company.

So when I say “Red Bull”, what comes to your mind?

You might think of adrenalin, extreme sports, energy, powering


through assignments and the exam season, etc. But I don’t think you
would think of having a relaxing evening by the pool or fireplace or
taking a quiet stroll with the dog.

Why? Because brands are associated with certain traits, feelings and
imagery, and this is the true effect of a brand.

For example, if customers are thinking of luxury automobiles, you


want your company to come to mind if you’re working for BMW. On
the other hand, if they are looking for affordable and efficient cars for
personal transportation, then you want them to think of you if you’re
from Toyota.

46
This goes the same for individuals.

What comes to mind when you think of Steve Jobs? Innovation,


aesthetically-appealing products, ease of use?

And what do you think of when someone mentions Mother Teresa?


Selflessness? Compassion? Sacrifice?

And what name of a friend comes to mind when we think of


someone who is good in sports? Or tech? Or in public speaking? Or
music?

This is personal branding in effect.

It’s important to start seeing and managing yourself as a brand,


because brands which don’t stand out are virtually invisible in a
crowded marketplace.

On top of that, weak brands stay at the bottom of the food chain,
where the competition is the most intense, while strong brands rise
to the top and have their pick on the opportunities which come their
way.

47
To put this in job search terms, a candidate with a weak brand is just
another name in the pile of resumes and applications. It’s no
surprise that he ends up spamming his resumes all over the place
hoping that a recruiter would notice it.

The sad truth is that majority of job candidates are just another
name in the pile.

On the other hand, a candidate with a strong brand still has her
application in the pile of thousands, but is remembered and is on the
mind of the recruiter or hiring manager.

This happens because she proactively reaches out to employers, is


sure about her value proposition and has a solid portfolio that
evidences what she can offer to employers.

Because of this, she doesn’t have to resort to resume spamming. In


fact, she has the option to choose from a number of offers presented
to her.

Which job candidate would you like to be?

7 keys to forging an unforgettable brand

48
Here’s how to create a brand for you to be noticed and
differentiated.

1. See yourself as a brand

Like mentioned before, don’t just see yourself as an individual or as


a mere name in a long list of job applicants. You are more than that.

See yourself as a brand because your brand value stays with you
throughout your entire career.

It’s not just useful during the job search process. Down the road, you
might make some changes to your career trajectory. You might apply
to work for another firm. This is where your personal brand steps in
again, because the more brand value (social equity, goodwill,
reputation, etc) you’ve accumulated, the easier it is for you to find
your way around in the marketplace.

2. Audit your online presence

Go ahead and do a Google search on yourself. Search for your first


and last name.

49
What do you see? Are you happy with the results (assuming you see
something)?

If you see good results, then keep doing what you are doing so far.

If you see nothing, then this is an indicator that you need to start
building your personal brand.

However, if you see bad or undesirable results, then it’s time to clean
up your social media presence. Is there content which need to be
taken down? Do you need to re-look at the way you post content
online? Do you need to re-evaluate your online conduct?

One other way to assess the quality of your online presence is that if
that was to be on the front page of a prominent magazine or
newspaper, would that put you in a good light?

3. Discover what you are about – your strengths, passions, values


and purpose

This is the meaty part where you get to craft your personal brand
statement, which is comprised of your strengths, passions, values
and purpose.

50
Strengths. What are you good at? What are your skills?
Example 1 (my own example): Public speaking, motivation, pushing
boundaries.
Example 2 (a management consultant’s example): Problem solving,
critical thinking.

Passions. What do you love doing? What keeps you up at night and
gets you up in the morning?
Example 1: Bringing out the best in others, personal and professional
development.
Example 2: Reading business books, watching Shark Tank, seeing
how businesses work.

Values. What are your beliefs? What do you stand for?


Example 1: Fullness of life, unlimited potential, helping others, being
selfless.
Example 2: A business is an effective tool to do good in a country and
society.

Purpose. What are your here for?


Example 1: To help others be the best that they can be in their lives
and careers.
Example 2: To make businesses run more effectively.

51
When you combine the 4 elements – strengths, passions, values and
purpose – you get your personal brand statement, which captures
the WHY behind you do what you do.

From Example 1: I love bringing out the best in others because I


believe that everyone deserves to be successful personally and
professionally.

From Example 2: My mission in management consulting is to help


businesses run more effectively so that they can have a greater
impact in the world.

4. Add and produce value

Once you have crafted your personal brand statement, it’s time to
identify ways in which you can create brand value for prospective
employers.

Here is a list, although not exhaustive, on how you can add and
produce value:
• Part-time work
• Internships, summer programs, graduate programs
• Volunteer work
• Creating and running your own projects

52
• Attending events and conferences
• Reading books, articles and resources
• Meeting up with experts and leaders in your field

If discovering your personal brand statement is about finding out the


WHY behind what you do, adding and producing value is all about
identifying WHAT you can do to actualise your brand statement.

For instance, if my brand statement is “I love bringing out the best in


others because I believe that everyone deserves to be successful
personally and professionally.”, I’ll need to find ways to make it
happen. So I might choose to do some pro-bono workshops for not-
for-profits and attend events held by top leadership coaches in my
field.

The next thing to do is to build up your experience, exposure and


expertise.

Using the management consultant example:

Experience. How can you increase your experience as a management


consultant? Simple. Work on more projects in your industry. The
more time you spend on more projects and the more industries you
work with, the more experience you would accumulate.

53
Exposure. How can you increase your exposure? This differs slightly
from experience. What can you do to help you see things in a
different light? For instance, you might be doing some consulting
work with your local council on how they can improve youth
engagement in their community. To better enhance your exposure,
you might be looking at doing the same work but for a local council
in a third world country. The dynamics would be very different, as
the stakeholders are facing very different issues and challenges.

Expertise.How can you increase your expertise? Find ways to be


more knowledgeable about the construction industry. Attend
workshops, conferences and trade shows. Meet and greet fellow
professionals in your industry. Stay abreast with the upcoming
trends and changes in your industry. Familiarise yourself with the
tools and software commonly used.

5. Communicate your value

Once you have established a concrete personal brand statement and


have tangible value to back you up, your next step would be to let
others know about what you can offer to the world.

54
For a brand to establish a foothold in its customers’ minds, it needs
to not only present its message once, but repeatedly.

Think about this. Imagine if you have a friend who’s passionate


about all things related to tech gadgets.

Almost every day, he would post (on his social media feed) pictures
and articles on the latest gadgets and tech developments, and he
would also put up articles on how to solve common computer issues.
What happens after he does it for a while? He would be known as the
tech or IT guy by his friends, and anyone who has a tricky IT problem
would be referred to him.

This is how brand communication works – you will need clarity,


consistency and constancy.

Clarity. Are you clear about what you stand for? Are others clear
about what you stand for? Is your message unambiguous? Is it
straightforward and easy to understand?

Clarity is so important because you won’t have a compelling case if


you don’t know what you are going for.

55
I remember attending interviews for engineering and management
consulting positions, and was asked why I want to go for those roles.

Honestly, I didn’t have a solid response because deep within me, I


wasn’t sure about why I wanted to go down those career paths. Since
I wasn’t sure about myself, why should the interviewer be sure about
me?

If you are not sure about your career path, then deliberately begin
your journey of discovery.

Consistency. Is your message the same across all platforms and


manifestations (Facebook page, LinkedIn profile, blog, resume,
business card, forum comments, etc)? Do you portray a consistent
image of yourself when you are online as well as offline? Would
people who met you on different occasions have a similar
impression about you?

Constancy.Do you engage with the relevant people and your target
audience on a perpetual or a once-off basis? For a branding message
to stick, it has to be repeated over and over again (without overdoing
it, of course).

6. Expand your network

56
Who is your target audience? Who should you be reaching out to?

According to Forbes, networking is still the best way to find a job.

There are 2 key groups of individuals who you could start networking
with.

The first is professionals who are working in your desired role. Back
to the management consultant example, an obvious choice would be
to reach out to management consultants working in an industry of
my interest. I could also extend my reach to consultants in other
industries or in other capacities (risk consultants, project
management consultants, strategy consultants, etc).

Getting in touch with this first group is great to get an idea of what
the job is about, as well as the highlights and challenges presented in
the respective role.

The second group is made of people in the recruitment space –


recruiters, talent acquisition specialists, HR coordinators, hiring
managers, etc.

57
Reaching out to this second group helps you get a better grasp of the
company’s culture and to make a stronger impression to those who
will actually be assessing your job application.

In addition, professionals in the recruitment space talk to one


another, and if they know of a promising candidate (you) who can’t
fill up their current vacancies but may be able to for another
company, they would be happy to refer him to a fellow recruiter.

I will be covering more about the details and techniques of reaching


out to others in Chapter 7 “Process (Part 1)”.

7. Reinvent yourself

Change is the only constant. You must be very familiar with this by
now.

It’s important to learn how to embrace change and be adaptable.

Strong brands do the same as well. Brands which do not change


according to customer needs and consumer trends would end up
becoming antiquated and obsolete.

58
Are you constantly evaluating and upgrading yourself to stay
relevant?

How familiar are you with the trends and developments in your
industry?

Are you taking a proactive or reactive approach towards change? Do


you embrace and initiate change, or do you wait for change to come
knocking on your door?

When I knew that mechanical engineering was not my cup of tea, I


needed to change and reinvent myself to make me employable as a
professional trainer to organisations.

How did I do that?

I began by seeing myself as a trainer and I went on to find out what


trainers do.

I consumed resources and materials on leadership development,


training techniques, coaching and learning and development. I
watched videos on how people spoke in public, and I conducted
workshops myself.

59
I must say that humans are extremely versatile and adaptable.

You might feel that changing or reinventing yourself is impossible,


but it’s not. It might be a stretch at first, but you have no idea what
you are truly capable of.

One of my favourite quotes is from Albert Einstein which says


“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results.”

This means that if I want a different outcome then I would need to


do things differently.

60
7. PROCESS (PART 1)
Who do you know?

Someone said that your network determines your net worth. It’s not
really what you know that matters, but who you know.

Regardless of your field or industry, people would always be involved


and knowing how to connect and develop meaningful relationships
is key to thriving in today’s marketplace.

Put yourself out there and see yourself in a good light

Remember the chapter where we talked about confidence and


competence? This is where they come in.

To establish meaningful relationships, you would have to put


yourself out there and meet people – don’t wait for them to come to
you – you go to them.

And when you are approaching others, how you see yourself will
have a profound impact on how the conversation would go.

61
To give you my own example, I wasn’t born a confident person.
During my teenage years I would always have a book with me when
commuting. This is not only because I love reading, but because I
didn’t want/dare to look at others in the eye. I just wanted to get to
my destination with as little social contact as possible.

Due to my lack of confidence, I thought that I didn’t have much to


offer to others. Because of this belief, I saw less of a need to meet
with others, and because I saw less incentive to meet with others, I
stagnated in my worldview which further reinforced my belief of not
having much to offer.

Can you see the self-perpetuating cycle?

So I decided one day that things needed to change.

I needed to see myself in a much better light.

I chose to see myself as having passion, energy, enthusiasm and a


hungering curiosity to learn more from others. I chose to not see my
lack of knowledge or experience as an excuse to not meet others, but
as a reason to meet others so that I could learn more from them.

Once I changed my mind(set), my world changed.

62
I now look forward to networking events and am usually the
proactive one to make contact with other professionals. I reached
out, asked a lot of questions and kept the conversations going.

If I can do this, so can you!

Approaching employers before the job hunt

One key job/employability skill to have is being able to approach


employers even before you look for jobs.

When you do this, you not only expand your professional network
and develop interpersonal confidence, you are actually putting
yourself and your personal brand out there. You are making an
impression with employers and that will work in your favour down
the road because if the employer sees your name in the pile of
resumes, your face will come to mind – you are not just another
name in the pile, you are a person who made an impression.

The way to approach employers before job hunting is through the


use of informational interviews.

63
A job interview is to a job what an informational interview is to
information.

Basically, you are interviewing employers for information.

Here’s how I, as the aspiring management consultant, would reach


out.

Step 1: Identify the professional. For my case, I could get in touch


with the HR professional of a consulting firm or a management
consultant. To get in touch with the consultant, I could do a quick
search on Google, do a look up on LinkedIn or look through the
company’s website.

Step 2: Reach out to the professional. If I’m going to do so via phone,


I would give the company a ring. You can usually find the number on
their contact page.

Me: Hi, is this XYZ company?

Receptionist: Yes it is.

Me: I was wondering if I could speak to Sam, who works as a


management consultant? I would like to find out more about what
he does in his role as I’m interested to pursue this line of work.

Receptionist: Sure! Please hold on while I direct you to his line.

64
Sam: Hello!

Me: Hi Sam, how are you today?

Sam: I’m good, thanks!

Me: I came across your name on the company website and I was
wondering if I could ask you a few questions about your job. I’m
really interested to work as a management consultant after my
graduation.

Sam: Sounds great! Good for it!

You can then proceed to ask a few questions during your


informational interview, which is covered in the next section.

The 5 questions you can ask in an informational interview

Here are the 5 questions which I’ve used over and over again during
the informational interviews I had with other professionals.

If time permits, feel free to ask all of them. If not, then pick and
choose a few which you would use.

1. What does your day to day look like?

This is the same as asking “What do you do in your job?”.

65
Through this, you could ask for more details on the job’s demands,
challenges and highlights.

2. If you wanted to break into your industry, what would you do?

This is the same as asking “How do I enter your industry?”

This is a great question to ask if you need some ideas on entering


your desired role and industry. Apart from conventional means,
some professionals got to their roles through networking, referrals,
graduate positions, internal transfers, etc.

3. What are a few common entry-level jobs?

This is the same as asking “What’s a good starting point for fresh
candidates like me?”.

This question helps you identify some entry-level roles which you
are eligible to go for, especially when many listed jobs out there are
experienced positions.

4. What next steps would you recommend me to take?

66
This is the same as asking “I’m new to this, so what do you think I
should do next?”.

Once you have shared your background and situation, you might get
some tips on how to proceed from here.

5. Would you know of any openings/opportunities in your


organisation?

This is the same as asking “Are you guys hiring?”.

I love this question because even before an organisation publishes a


public job advertisement, any vacancies would be announced
internally first. And if you are able to get “insider news” of any vacant
positions, you already have an advantage over the crowd.

How to be a networking superstar

Remember in the earlier chapter where we talked about seizing


opportunities to build up your profile and portfolio?

It’s good to be interesting – having strong interest in your career


path, having accumulated substantial and relevant work experience

67
– but it’s much better to be interested. This is because everyone
loves talking about themselves.

In a nutshell, the best way to make the most out of a social or


networking event is to get others to do the talking.

And to make that happen, you can ask the same questions used in
informational interviews.

Additionally, here are 4 tips for you do excel in your next networking
occasion.

1. Have in mind your conversational plan

What is your game plan? What is your strategy to get to know other
professionals?

If you are unsure, do have a think about it. And if you think you
might forget, do write it down on a piece of post-it and bring it along.

If I’m at a technology forum or meet-up, some of the questions I use


include:
• What do you do?
• What brings you here?

68
• How did you find the talk/presentation so far?
• Is there any particular topic or issue you are looking forward to
hear?
• What’s your favourite bit?

2. Practice, observe, learn, repeat

Nothing (really) happens until you step out of your comfort zone.

Practice. You can start by approaching “easy” targets – individuals


who are by themselves, or people who generally look less
intimidating.

Observe. Once you are engaged in conversation, be aware of how


things are moving along. What vibes are you getting? How are the
non-verbal cues and body language of the other person looking like?
Do they sound interested? Are they responding with a similar level of
enthusiasm as you? Or are they looking elsewhere when you are
talking?

Learn. After each encounter, recall what went well and what didn’t.
Keep doing what went well and stop doing that which didn’t turn out
well.

69
Repeat. Repeat this cycle and continuously refine your approach and
technique for each person.

3. Flatter others

This is not about inflating the egos of others – doing so is undesirable


and would be very obvious to the other party.

Instead, learn how to praise others appropriately.

For instance, rather than just saying “Hi there! What brings you
here?”, I might go for “Hi there! Good to see you today! What brings
you here?”.

Notice the slight difference?

On top of this, if there’s something worth praising, then go for it. A


good example would be conversing with the speaker of the event.
You could thank him for his insightful and riveting presentation, and
bring out one specific point which you really resonated with.

4. Encourage others

70
There will be times when you would meet those who have less
experience than you.

The key here is to be a source of inspiration and encouragement to


them. Since you have covered more ground then they do, you can
always provide a listening ear as they share some of the struggles and
challenges they face.

Do not be tempted to disregard them as “unworthy” of conversation.

This is because the world is really small and you might never know
when you would need their help down the road. And they might
know someone who could prove helpful to you as well.

The FORD technique

This technique is another tool that helped me greatly in engaging in


small talk and in sustaining the conversation with people I’ve never
met before.

F: Family
O: Occupation
R: Recreation

71
D: Dreams

Depending on the context and situation, you might place a greater


emphasis on one component over the other.

If you are in a parent bringing your child to a play organised by her


school, you might focus on the Family part, when having a
conversation with another parent.

If you are a professional at an industry networking event, I’m sure


you could start the conversation talking about Occupations.

And if you are a student attending a motivational event/conference,


you might chat about Dreams with a fellow attendee.

Follow up

To bring your networking skills to another level, learnt the art of


following up.

I feel that too many people, myself included sometimes, can be so


engrossed in conversations during the event, but don’t do anything
after the event.

72
It’s the equivalent of going on a great date and not corresponding
with the other person after the special occasion.

In a professional networking event, I would always ask for the other


person’s name card or business card, whether I have one or not. This
gives me his company’s name, direct number and direct email
address, so that I can stay in touch with him down the road.

On top of that, I would look him up on LinkedIn and send him a


request to add him to my network.

To take things further, you could send a note (via email, SMS or even
phone call) to express your delight and appreciation in meeting the
other person and that you would love to continue the conversation
or stay in touch. You could even ask the person whether he/she is
keen to catch up for a coffee so that you can carry on the
conversation.

Doing so would help you leave a strong impression on the people


you have met.

73
74
8. PROCESS (PART 2)
How to be a job hunting superstar.

In the first part of Process, we covered the importance of your


professional network and how you can go about building your own
network and following up, to ensure that you have strong
connections in your professional circle.

Now it’s time to go into the nitty-gritty details of the job application
process – the cover letter, the resume and the interview, as well as
how to properly manage your time during the job seeking process.

Your world-class cover letter

If you have not yet reached out to the employer (see Chapter 7), then
your cover letter would be the first impression which you paint in the
mind of the employer.

It’s important to write your cover letter from your heart, rather than
using a template, because recruiters and hiring managers can
instantly know whether a cover letter is written from scratch or
copied-and-pasted.

75
Additionally, your cover letter is meant to make the employer
curious to find out more about you and to proceed to read your
resume.

Here are 4 tips to make yours stand out.

1. Don’t repeat your resume

Like mentioned before, you cover letter is the prelude to your


resume. So don’t use it as a “summary” of your resume.

Rather, use your cover letter to showcase your personality, curiosity,


enthusiasm and interest for the job and industry you are applying
for.

This is where researching the company or industry is important.

Mediocre: I am applying for a training position in your organisation


because I am looking for a challenging and dynamic career with
long-term prospects.

Remarkable: As part of the Victorian government’s initiative to invest


$5 million in the tertiary and international student space for the

76
coming year, I see great potential in the area of training and
development. I’m passionate about bringing out the best in others
and I would like to be part of your team to make that happen.

Remember to write from your heart. Avoid sounding mechanical and


do your best to inject your passion and enthusiasm in it.

2. Make it short

Don’t overdo the cover letter. Think of this as the trailer to the
movie, which serves to entice the viewer to want to watch the movie.

Keep it to 3 paragraphs or half a page, at most.

3. Don’t state the obvious

There’s absolutely no need to mention something like “My name is


_________ and I would like to apply for the position of
________________.” because this is totally obvious.

4. Have a strong closing

77
Conclude your cover letter by stating how your experience and
worldview would add value to the company and help you with the
job. And keep it short and sharp.

Once again, don’t be tempted to go overboard with your closing.

Your world-class resume

Before moving forward, here are some things for you to know before
you work on your resume.

Keep it simple. Keep it to 2 pages, at most. The average resume gets


read in 10 seconds.

To add on, many people sweat the resume writing process because
it’s the part of the job search process which they have the most
control of.

Rather than picking up the phone (think Chapter 7: Process Part 1)


and reaching out to employers, they stress about crafting the
“perfect” resume.

There is no perfect resume.

78
Resume writing is important, but don’t stress too much about it.

What many don’t know is that the resume is just there to lead up to
the interview, where the human version of you, comes in.

So do your part to craft a professional resume, but spend more time


heading out there to network and build connections, because that
would put a face to your name and make you remembered.

Here are 7 tips to craft a winning and world-class resume.

1. Start with a professional summary

Because resumes are mostly read for 10 seconds, it’s important for
the recruiter to know what you are about and what you can offer
straightaway.

This is a snapshot of a sample resume with the professional


summary at the top.

79
There are a few components to the professional summary:
• Title: What role you are looking for. In this case, the candidate
has written “Customer Service Representative in F&B and Retail”
• What you have done so far: “...achieved 100% customer retention
and excellent customer service...managed staff, inventory and
customer complaints...”
• What you are looking for: “...looking for my next challenge in the
field of hospitality”

2. Keep the fonts professional and the layout simple

Stick to fonts commonly used in professional documents (Arial,


Times New Roman, Helvetica, Calibri) and keep the layout clean.

80
Avoid using tables if possible because this might throw the contents
off when scanned with certain resume-reading software.

3. Use a reverse chronological order

In all of your lists, begin with the latest item at the top.

4. Avoid fuzzy keywords and jargon

Keep your language simple.

5. Use stories

When explaining and talking about your experience, think in terms


of this format: problem-action-outcome.

6. Use numbers

In your resume, don’t just mention what you did, give details on
what you achieved. How big was the team? How much did you
increase sales by? What dollar amount did you help the company
save? What were the results of you implementing the marketing
strategy?

81
7. Leave out personal information

You are sending out your resume to get you a job, not a date. So just
put in the minimal information (email address and mobile number)
for employers to get in touch with you.

Your world-class interview

After jumping through the cover letter and resume hoops, you would
be invited for an interview. This could be done over the phone, via
video conferencing or face-to-face, and it could be one-on-one, or
with a panel of interviewers.

Whatever the case, what happens before and after the interview is as
important as what happens during it.

Here is how you can execute it like a world-class professional.

BEFORE THE INTERVIEW

1. Do your homework

82
Research the company. Do a Google search on them to find out
about their latest projects and developments and what they have
been doing in their industry.

Head to the company website to know about their values, mission,


vision and culture.

2. Give someone in the organisation a call

Using the techniques mentioned in Chapter 7, giving someone in the


organisation a call (especially if he/she is working in the position you
are applying for) can provide you with great insight on what to
expect on the job itself.

Additionally, during the interview itself, you could also mention that
you’ve spoken to so-and-so on the phone previously and you were
really excited to learn about the projects which the organisation is
working on. This gives you extra points and show that you are really
interested in working with them.

3. Figure out how to get there

Calculate the travel time to get to your interview location. Don’t take
it for granted that the traffic conditions would be ideal on the actual

83
day. Account for jams or transportation delays. Even better, make a
trip to the location in advance to have a better sense of where it is
and how long it takes to get there.

4. Prepare your relevant documents

Have copies of your academic transcripts, certificates, resumes, work


visas (if necessary) ready so that you can produce them during the
interview if needed.

DURING THE INTERVIEW

1. Ready your “Story Statement”

Your Story Statement encapsulates what you are about, what drives
you and why the employer should hire you. It helps you answer the
“Tell me more about yourself.” and “Why should we hire you?”
question.

Weak: I recently graduated from University X with a Bachelor of Y


and I really want to make a difference in this industry.

Strong:

84
As a former international student myself, I understand how tough
getting a job can be. I sent out 526 resumes over 561 days, and this
was featured on various news outlets. Because of this, I’m on a
personal mission to bring out the best in others and to help them
professionally, because I believe that everyone deserves to succeed
in their lives and careers. Thus, I’m applying to be part of your team
to help make that happen.

2. Prepare for “What is your weakness?”

Many people cringe and dread this question.

It’s important to be honest and upright about your weakness, but


don’t just end there. Turn it into a positive to show how it can add
value to the team and company.

Weak: I’m prone to burn-out’s because I tend to push myself too


hard.

Strong:
I’m prone to burn-out’s because I tend to push myself too hard. I
don’t really see that as a problem/issue because this allows me to get
things done and to go the extra mile for my team and my customers.

85
I just need to pace myself so that things can be sustainable over the
long-term.

3. Think STAR – Situation-Task-Action-Result

Your interviewer would most likely ask you to describe a situation


where you encountered a crisis, you faced conflicting work demands,
you had to deal with an uncooperative team member, you had to
lead a difficult team through tight deadlines, etc.

To present your response, use the STAR technique.

Situation: What’s the context and the problem/issue/challenge?

Task: What did you need to achieve/accomplish?

Action: What did you (and your team) do about it?

Results: What was the outcome? What lessons did you learn?

4. Build up confidence by adopting confident postures

Research has proven that the physical posture we adopt has a direct
impact on how we feel.

86
For instance, your productivity level would generally increase when
you are sitting upright as compared to slouching on your seat. On
the same vein, if you are attending a lecture, you would feel more
engaged when you are sitting upright and leaning in towards the
speaker as compared to slouching on your seat.

Likewise, before you enter the interview venue, head to a private


space (in your car or in the restroom) and adopt a posture of
confidence: standing up straight with your shoulders squared away
or sitting upright, and then spreading your arms wide.

As long as the posture exudes some form of dominance, you are on


the right track.

Do this and you will have an extra confidence boost for the
interview.

5. Be aware of the body language in the room

While your mind would be thoroughly engaged with thinking,


processing and responding to questions and dialogues, do be aware
of the body language in the room – yours and the interviewer’s.

87
Studies have shown that a great way to build trust and rapport
through body language is to mirror the other person’s.

If you notice that the interviewer is leaning forward at the table, do


likewise. And if she is leaning back in her chair (to be more relaxed),
then follow suit.

6. Adopt a positive and solutions-focused stance

There might be times where the interviewer has discovered


something not too savoury in your story, history or application.
While you can’t change the past, how you respond to this, when
probed, makes the difference.

Interviewer: When I called one of your job references, who happened


to be your former manager, he said that you were made redundant
from your position. Could you tell me more about it?

Strong response: While it’s true that I was let go by the company, I
didn’t see that as a stumbling block to my career, but a learning
opportunity. It’s true that I was underperforming in my sales figures
in that role, but for the past few months, I’ve attended several sales
and marketing workshops to brush up my skills, so I don’t think this
would be an issue down the road.

88
7. Ask good questions

There will be a time during the interview for you to ask the
interviewer any questions you might have, and this is your
opportunity to further showcase your knowledge of what’s going on
and your interest in the role and company.

Some of the questions I have asked include:


• If one is hired, what happens in the next 90 days?
• What are the top 3 characteristics of high performers in your
team?
• What is the company’s strategic goals and direction for the next
few years and how would this role fit into the bigger picture?
• I understand that your company has entered into a partnership
with XYZ Corp. What impact do you think this would bring to the
marketing space and how can this position help to make it
happen?

8. Ask for the interviewer’s business card

Before you head off after the interview, do ask for the interviewer’s
card as a way for you to keep in touch with her.

89
AFTER THE INTERVIEW

After the interview, and within a 24 hour timeframe, email the


interviewer a personalised thank you note to express your
appreciation for being able to meet them and for them taking the
time to interview you.

Dear Sam,

Thank you for taking the time to interview me today. I really


enjoyed hearing about the great things XYZ company is
spearheading, especially the pro-bono marketing projects which
your team is doing for not-for-profits.

All the best and let’s stay in touch as well.

Regards,
Dominic

Time management during the job hunt

During the job search period, many people feel that their job is to
look for a job. Thus, they spend their office hours (9am – 5pm) sitting
at home and searching and applying for jobs behind their
computers.

90
There’s absolutely nothing wrong in doing that, but the problem is
that everyone else is doing pretty much the same thing as well –
which means that the chances of your application standing out is
very minimal.

Instead, be strategic on how you spend your time during the job
hunting process. Don’t just stick behind the computer – do
something else and get out there.

You should split your time into 3 parts.

The first part. Use this to search and apply for jobs online. It’s alright
to stick to conventional means since many companies source for
candidates this way as well.

The second part. Dedicate this time to put yourself out there. Attend
business breakfasts, career seminars, workshops, conferences and
networking events. Do anything that helps you to expand your
professional network. Have coffee with professionals. Have lunch
with like-minded people.

You could use this time to work part-time, to work on your projects
or to volunteer as well.

91
The third part. Set aside this time to upgrade and upskill yourself.
What books, articles and materials could you get your hands on? You
could also go for courses and workshops to further sharpen your
skills in the respective areas.

The third portion of time is critical because this helps to ensure that
you are constantly growing and learning regardless of how long you
spend job hunting. Don’t end up as some individuals who spend 3
years looking for a job and still end up with the same level of skills 3
years later.
The top 7 mistakes job seekers make

1. Lacking clarity

Many job seekers, especially those fresh out of university, tend to try
getting their hands on every and any job they can get.

It could be the fact that they need to pay the bills or that they would
be willing to do just about anything to get their careers started.

This could be a big mistake.

92
I’ve been there myself. As a graduate with qualifications in
mechanical engineering, project management and business
management, I tried applying for jobs in engineering, project
management, management consulting, marketing, human resource
and even administration, to get myself started.

Because I used a “shotgun” approach, I ended up spreading myself


too thinly and employers could easily tell that I wasn’t 100% and all-
in for my applications.

But when I discovered my fiery passion in training and coaching


people and started to tailor my applications based on my strengths
and passions, things changed. Of 7 applications, I received 4 call-
backs for interviews, of which 2 were job offers.

The big difference here is that once I knew what I really wanted, I
was not only committed to it, but confident in how I went about the
application.

During my interview, I was dead sure that I wanted a job in training


and development because I truly saw the value of investing and
developing others and that I wanted to bring out the best in others.

93
My former CEO, who was also one of the interviewers, mentioned to
me after the interview that when he asked me the same question in 5
different ways, my answer was unwaveringly the same: that I was
deeply passionate about bringing out the best in others because I
believe that everyone deserves to be successful.

2. Being passive, not proactive

Too many job seekers wait for things to happen instead of making
things happen.

If you are applying for a job in management consulting, do you have


to wait until you are employed to build up your consulting skills?

Of course not!

While applying for your consulting position, you can still read up
more on what’s happening in the industry, what experts are talking
about in the space and find out about any other trends and
developments in your domain.

You can even go further by connecting and catching up with


experienced consultants in your field to get their advice and to pick
their brains.

94
Remember, a lack of a job is not an excuse for a lack of hunger to
grow and learn.

3. Being invisible

Like mentioned before, it is so important to develop your personal


brand and for you to find ways to stand out from the crowd.

Too many candidates make the mistake of playing it safe, blending


in and doing what their peers and counterparts are doing.

In a marketplace that is ever changing and immensely competitive, if


we don’t find ways to differentiate ourselves, we would end up being
invisible, ignored and irrelevant.

So put yourself out there. Literally.

Stop hanging around your comfort zone and start challenging and
stretching yourself.

If you don’t put in the effort to distinguish yourself, your competitors


will. And guess who would get the job?

95
4. Having a herd mentality

It’s easy for us to hang around people who look like us, speak like us,
eat like us and who are in a similar state as us.

For instance, when I was job seeking, it was easy for me to hang
around my other friends who are in the same boat as well. We also
had a lot of time to spare during the unemployment phase too!

It’s nice to know that there is someone who understands what you
are going through and who relates to your current situation.

However, it shouldn’t stop there. And it becomes dangerous if I only


hang out with my unemployed friends.

Why?

Because we are largely influenced by the people around us.

Someone said that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the
most time with.

If you hang around 5 fit and athletic people long enough, you would
th
become the 6 .

96
If you hang around 5 business people long enough, you would
th
become the 6 .

If you hang around 5 millionaires long enough, you would become


th
the 6 .

th
If you hang around 5 idiots long enough, you would become the 6 .

And guess what if I hung out with my unemployed friends long


enough? I would remain unemployed!

The one other thing to be aware of is from whom you get your advice
from.

If you are unemployed and want to go to the next level (i.e. getting a
job), then you need to get your advice from people who are already
on that next level (i.e. employed).

The funny thing was that when I was unemployed, many of my other
unemployed friends gave me “job advice”. How ironic is that?

97
If you are serious about elevating your game and going to the next
level, you will need to connect and get in touch with people who are
playing a bigger game.

So stop spending too much time with the herd and stop going with
the flow. If you want to stand out, you would need to carve your own
path instead of following the crowd.

5. Staying book-smart, not street-smart

Graduating from university would be one of the greatest


achievements of your life. You have invested so much blood, sweat,
tears, money and time for this coveted piece of paper.

Don’t stop there and never think that your degree guarantees you
success in the marketplace.

Many job seekers I come across are still attached to their university
qualifications.

I ask them what sets them apart and many say it’s their qualification
from XYZ University.

98
I spoke to several business owners and hiring managers and most of
them say that they don’t pay too much attention to a candidate’s
educational qualifications as compared to their passion, enthusiasm
and work experience.

The marketplace has shifted. The emphasis has gone from a focus on
hard/technical skills to the soft skills – things like leadership,
communication, problem solving, attention to detail, work ethic,
ability to work in a team and under pressure, etc.

The world we experience in university and the world out there are 2
very different places.

Having a degree from reputable university is good, but it doesn’t


guarantee success or the job. What matters more is what you do after
your graduation and who you know within the industry.

The great news is that hard work and hustle do not discriminate.

You might come with subpar qualifications. But if you are willing to
put in twice the amount of effort, energy and enthusiasm and are
willing to go twice as far as your counterparts who graduated from a
top university, you would find your success.

99
6. Maintaining the minimum wage mentality

There is nothing wrong starting off at the bottom of the food chain.
Whether it’s earning minimum wage or an income that is just
enough to pay for the bills, we all have to start somewhere.

But I encourage you to think big and go big.

I want to challenge you to be so hungry and obsessed that you are


not going to settle for just enough. I mean, do be grateful for what
you have and count your blessings, but keep fanning the flame of
your hunger to play a bigger game.

The question here is how badly do you want to go to the next level?

There was a period of time during my job search that I was so


disappointed with myself and discouraged by my situation that I was
willing to lower my expectations just to get a job. This could be an
entry-level office or admin job which can pay my bills.

I told my mum about this and she snapped back. She told me to stop
thinking of only myself and start aiming higher because I’ll be doing
this for them and for my future family. Usually my mum tells me to
slow down and take things easy when I’m working too hard. So when

100
she’s the one asking me to get my life together, I really need to get
my life together.

With that, I made it my mission, commitment and obsession to aim


high, dream big and play a bigger game – there’s just too many
people in this world living average and mediocre lives.

So for you, it all starts with your mindset.

Keep stretching and challenging the ways in which you think.

Shift from minimum wage thinking to the top 1% earner mentality.

Minimum wage thinking:


• Wait for things to happen.
• Do what’s expected of me.
• Hang out with friends on the same level as me.
• What can I gain from this situation or opportunity?
• My learning is done when I graduated.
• I’ll try it and see how it goes.
• I work to pay the bills.
• How much can I save this month?
• What’s in it for me?
• I hope everything stays the same.

101
Top 1% earner mentality:
• Make things happen.
• Go above and beyond.
• Reach out to people playing a bigger game.
• How can I contribute and what can I bring to the table?
• I am always learning. All the time.
• I commit to it and go all in.
• My work is my calling and my service to the world.
• How much can I earn this month? How can I increase my
income?
• What’s in it for us?
• I see opportunities in change and I make change happen.

7. Being average, not disruptive

Back to the point on having a minimum wage mentality, it’s so easy


for us to do just enough to get by.

Usually when I work till late in the office, I take the taxi home.

During my taxi rides, I always love asking the cab driver their
thoughts about Uber.

102
All whom I spoke to said that Uber has impacted their business and
that they are now finding it harder to get customers.

One cab driver acknowledged that Uber has affected his earnings but
he is actively looking out for more opportunities and he is
considering doing extra study to improve his options.

Another cab driver also acknowledged that Uber has impacted his
business. When I asked about what he plans to do about it and
whether he would consider switching to Uber, he just said that it was
too expensive and he “is only a driver”.

Which of these 2 cab drivers would be in a better career and financial


position a few months down the road? The answer is obvious.

Have you heard some people or even your colleagues say something
like “I’m only a <position title>. It’s not my job to do this.” or “They
hired me as a <position title>, so I’m not paid to do this.”

While sometimes it’s good to know the boundaries of your job scope,
sometimes you need to know when to go the extra mile. That’s why
it’s called the extra mile!

103
The key to excelling in your job and career is to make a decision to
stop being average. And to do that, disrupt your way of working and
thinking.

Let’s use the cab driver as an example.

The first thing to do is to disrupt is his mentality. He needs to stop


seeing himself only as a driver. He is more than that and he is more
capable than what he thinks he is.

Seeing himself as a business person/owner is the first step to taking


ownership of his situation. So if Uber is impacting him, what can he
do? What are his options? How can he improve his value add to his
customers?

When he is ferrying customers, if he just sees himself as a driver,


then he would just drive. But if he sees himself as a business owner,
he would make every effort to speak to his customer along the
journey, find out about what they do and network. And he would be
surprised on what would happen as a result of it!

Once he gets home after his shift, if he just sees himself as a driver,
he would most likely just sit in front of the TV and relax because his
shift is now over. However, if he puts on his business owner cap, he

104
would seize every single opportunity during his spare time to
improve himself, upskill, read books and explore any other
opportunities available to him.

To attain excellence, we need to disrupt average.

105
9. PRODUCT
What are you working on right now? What value can you bring to
the table?

Previously we talked about how you can craft your personal brand
statement and create a strong personal brand that helps you stand
out from the crowd.

Here we would explore how you can seize the opportunities around
you and even create opportunities for yourself, to make you more
employable.

Start now

Honestly speaking, many students make the “mistake” of thinking


and working on their careers only after they graduate.

I can’t really blame them for this because many spend long hours in
classrooms, lecture theatres, projects, assignments and on extra-
curricular activities. Not to mention setting aside time for friends
and family, engaging in recreation and working part-time.

106
It’s important to start on your career even before you graduate.

Why? It’s because if you ask any working professional, he would say
that you won’t really use much of what you studied in the working
world. I can speak from personal experience and you should try
asking your fellow peers in the marketplace.

In other words, there is a gross and oversized gap between what is


taught in the classroom compared to what is truly needed in the
boardroom.

And it doesn’t help that grades and academic results are not high up
in the list of what employers are looking for.

I’ve coached thousands of university students and many agree that


going into the workforce is a whole new ball game. What I also found
is that the earlier a student prepares for her career, the smoother the
transition from education to employment, and the less the shock as
well.

“The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time
is now.” – Chinese Proverb

107
If you have not started or thought about working on your career,
don’t fret – now’s the time. It’s never too early or too late to work on
it.

Seizing the best opportunities for yourself

The one thing that is common between regular people and extremely
successful individuals is the amount of time they have.

Both have 24 hours in a day, but how they spend their time would
ultimately determine their level of success.

Hence, I’ll need you to challenge the way you think about grabbing
opportunities that come your way and in how you manage your
time. It’s not enough to just strive to be efficient – you’ll need to be
effective and strategic as well. And being strategic is about knowing
your end point and knowing what you need to look out for and take
hold of, in order to get to your intended destination. In addition, it’s
also about knowing what to say “yes” to and what to decline.

Back to the management consultant example, I’ll list the various


avenues for opportunities and I’ll state how I would go about seizing
them.

108
Part-time work

I understand that you might have rent and bills to pay and any form
of part time work that pays well would fit the bill (pardon the pun).

However, don’t just think of the short-term needs – think of your


long-term goals as well.

Would being a waiter in a restaurant help me with my management


consulting career?

To a certain extent, yes. There might be some transferrable skills to


be learnt in my part-time F&B job.

But could I spend my time more effectively? Definitely!

In this case, I would look up part-time consulting jobs or positions. If


I can’t find any, I would reach out to small-sized consulting firms to
see if I can work for them part-time in any capacity.

I would rather earn much less doing administrative work for a


consulting company than be paid more being a restaurant worker.

109
Doing so would expose me to the company’s culture and I would
have the chance to speak to the consultants in the company to find
out more about what they do. In addition, if I can prove myself to be
remarkable in my part-time role, there might be a chance of them
transiting me to a full-time position later.

Internships, summer programs, graduate programs

Although spots are limited and competition is high, these programs


are an excellent avenue for you to gain relevant work experience in
your chosen field even before you graduate.

If you are not able to get into the large and reputable firms, do give
smaller companies a shot. Apply or express your interest to them
directly – there’s totally no harm in trying.

Volunteer work

Volunteering is a great way for you to get out of your comfort zone,
meet new people, pick up useful skills and contribute to something
worthwhile. This definitely helps to broaden your perspective of life

110
and even better, stretch your worldview if you choose to volunteer
abroad.

As an aspiring management consultant, I might volunteer for my


university’s orientation week at the start of the semester, and then
apply for a role in my institute’s student consulting club.

Creating and running your own projects

I love this avenue because if you tried all other means but to no avail,
you can always strive to create experience for yourself.

Running your own project really throws you outside your comfort
zone because there are no set guidelines for you to follow, and it
really shows that you have initiative to make things happen.

So what could I get my hands on as an aspiring management


consultant?

The first thing that comes to mind is to create a company/business


that does consulting for other small businesses for free.

111
Some people might say that I need consulting experience to consult.
Well, there’s truth to that, but if I am going to wait till I have
experience to do something, then I might be waiting for a long time.
Instead, I should do something and get the experience along the
way.

If I don’t feel comfortable approaching businesses yet, then I would


approach the clubs and societies in my university.

What would I be consulting with them?

Simple. I’ll sit down with their committee to identify some of the
problems and challenges (like lack of membership engagement,
poor turnout at events) they face as a club and devise ways to
address those problems. I might then implement the strategies with
them, while seeking to consult with other clubs in the interim.

Attending events and conferences

What events and conferences could I attend which are closely


aligned with my chosen career?

112
Since I’m doing management consulting, I would look up industry
bodies or associations which are relevant to me, like the Australian
Institute of Management or the Institute of Management
Consultants.

A quick way to find out the bodies or associations relevant to you is


to do a Google search of <your industry><your country>. So for me,
I’d do a search for “Management Consulting Australia”.

Once you have identified your related industry bodies, look to see
what events they are holding and attend them. This is a great way to
have a better grasp of the happenings and developments within the
industry and to meet like-minded individuals and professionals.

Reading books, articles and resources

What materials could I get my hands on which would increase my


knowledge of my career and industry?

Since I’m an aspiring management consultant, I would devour


articles from Inc, Forbes, Entrepreneur, Business Insider and Fast
Company.

113
I would also get my hands on TED talks, videos, podcasts and blog
posts from professionals in this arena.

Meeting up with experts and leaders in your field

Who could you meet to gain a better understanding of how your


industry works?

Who are the experts and thought leaders in your field? What are they
discussing at the moment, and how can you find out more? To take it
to the next level, how can you be part of the discussion?

For the aspiring management consultant, I could attend business


networking breakfasts or events where one of the speakers is
someone in a prominent position from a reputable consulting firm. I
could also look them up on LinkedIn and read the articles which
they produce.

Breaking the chicken-and-egg problem

114
Learning to create opportunities for yourself is a very handy
improvising skill. This is beneficial because there are a number of
entry-level jobs which require prior work experience.

Notice the irony?

It’s a chicken-and-egg problem. One needs the job to gain


experience, and one needs experience to get the job in the first place.

Thus, you would need to think beyond this cycle – in fact, “break”
the cycle by creating experience for yourself.

If I can’t find formal management consulting experience, then I


could improvise by getting such experience from doing pro-bono
consulting for small firms and not-for-profits.

Breaking down the job requirements

One other useful tip which benefited a lot of students is to take a look
at a job advertisement for a role which you are applying for (down
the road) and identify what the job requirements are.

115
Next, you take those requirements and “work backwards”. This
would get you to build experience even before you start applying for
the job.

For instance, if the job requires one to have 1-3 years of management
consulting experience, I could either volunteer in my university’s
student consulting club for 2 years, do pro-bono consulting for a
charity for 1 year and/or work part-time (in any capacity) in a
consulting firm.

Another example, taken from an actual job advertisement: “As you


grow into the role, business development will become a significant
focus. You are great at building relationships, love speaking to
people, identifying their needs and thinking about ways to solve
their problems.”

For this, I would be thinking “How would I develop my skills in


building relationships, speaking to people, identifying needs and
solving problems?” Perhaps being part of the committee for the
school’s career fair would suffice – I would be dealing with various
stakeholders, speaking and workshopping with my committee
members, identifying the needs of employers and exhibitors, and
brainstorming with my team on how we could address the problems
faced by employers.

116
Think action and evidence

I want you to develop what is called a bias-for-action. This means


having a strong inclination to get out there and make things happen
– to walk the talk and practice what you preach.

In fact, I want you to place more value on doing than mere saying.
This is because execution is the best way to learn, as it’s too easy to
fall into the trap of waiting for the “right” or “perfect” moment to
attack.

Too many job candidates “claim” that they have excellent team,
communication and leadership skills. Saying that is one thing,
proving through evidence is another.

Also, so many people have lofty and marvellous dreams, but few are
actually willing or have put in the blood, sweat and tears investment
to achieve (or at least try to achieve) those dreams.

So if your dream job requires you to have experience in leading a


team, solving strategic problems, dealing with stakeholders and

117
working in a high-pressure environment, think of what opportunities
you could seize and then make it happen.

Do your homework and a bit of research, but don’t wait till you have
all the information before execution, because that will never happen.
Even members of the military, like special forces operatives who
operate in a high-pressure, high-stakes and high-risk environment,
understand what it means to make decisions with incomplete
information. Once they have about 80% of the information, they
would execute.

118
// EXCEL IN THE MARKETPLACE

119
10. GETTING THE JOB IS ONLY THE TIP OF
THE ICEBERG

The first half of this book is all about helping you get your dream job.
If you’re in the process of doing that, keep going at it and all the best!

As much as the journey and process of getting your dream job is


exciting, exhilarating and full of challenges, it is only the tip of the
iceberg and it is only the beginning.

The next part is even more exciting.

It’s all about how you can excel in the marketplace, play a bigger
game, develop strong professional networks and relationships, and
bring yourself and others to the next level.

You earn your “trident” everyday

The world’s most elite military special forces unit, the U.S. Navy
SEALs, have this saying “You earn your trident everyday”.

120
The trident is their symbol and insignia which represents their
service, dedication, sacrifice and commitment, and they wear it on
their uniform near their heart.

Every special forces operator who wears the trident wears it with
pride because of the shear amount of blood, sweat and tears invested
in the training to graduate to be able to wear the trident.

The training is one of the harshest and toughest in the world. This
includes the hell week phase where trainees endure a five and a half
day stretch of arduous and demanding training where each
individuals sleeps for only about 4 hours, runs more than 200 miles
and performs physical training for more than 20 hours a day.

A typical class can start off with 200 aspiring SEALs and finish with
only 15 graduates. Talk about a crazy attrition rate!

Even though an operator has graduated and earned his trident, he


needs to maintain a sharp mindset and keep earning his trident
everyday. This means to continuously stretch and challenge himself
in terms of his physical fitness, combat agility, mental toughness,
strategic prowess and intellectual ability. He needs to maintain and
even improve his capabilities because he could be called to deal with
missions or conflicts where many lives are involved.

121
Likewise for every employee and professional, we need to earn our
“tridents” everyday.

It doesn’t mean that being employed means that we can take it easy,
put our growth on the backseat and rest on our laurels.

We need to keep training and developing and reinventing ourselves


so that we are ready and equipped to face not only today’s
challenges but also the challenges of tomorrow’s ever-changing
marketplace.

The approach I take when coaching professionals is that we need to


earn our employment every day.

It doesn’t mean that once we are on the company’s payroll, we are


safe.

In fact, in today’s day and age, there are no guarantees and we


should never assume that our employment with any company or
organisation is bulletproof and unshakeable.

Average is dangerous

122
Some people ask me at events “Dominic, how can you afford to
spend all that time, energy and money to invest in yourself?”

The truth is that I do spend a lot of time, energy and money in


investing in myself. I even spend upwards of 5 figures in my own
personal and professional development.

The bigger and better question to ask is “How can you afford not to
invest in yourself?”

Average is dangerous. Playing it safe is dangerous.

An employee who just does the bare minimum in his job is placing
himself in a very precarious position. Going through the motions,
clocking in at 9 and clocking out at 5 does not give him any
competitive advantage over his counterparts. Because he is just
doing what is necessary, he is, in fact, easily replaceable.

In good economic times, that is fine. Just do what you need to do,
don’t ask questions, don’t push boundaries, and you will still do
alright.

123
However, when things get tighter, when the space gets more
competitive and when there are more players on the field, doing just
enough is not really good enough.

In tough economic times, the company might be forced to reduce its


headcount, automate certain jobs or outsource some of its roles to
offshore labour that is much more cost effective.

In such a scenario, the employee who is merely average would most


likely be replaced and I certainly don’t want you to be in that
situation.

Play a bigger game – from commodity to authority

So how do we move away from average and mediocrity?

By moving towards greatness and excellence.

We’ll need to find ways to play a bigger game in our respective fields
– to do well in our designated jobs and to go above and beyond – to
add even more value in the things that we do.

124
This could start by you doing your job well and then finding ways to
add even more value to your role and to others.

For example, if you are a teacher, you fundamentally need to be able


to teach your students well, to ensure that they are on track in their
performance and learning progress and to connect well with them.

Once you are doing well with your “standard” job description, start
by finding ways on how you can add more value.

This could mean researching on current and trending learning and


teaching methodologies and reading up on the different learning
styles and tendencies students can have. You could also go into
discovering more on the various learning issues and challenges
commonly faced by teachers in your position.

You can then compile and collate your findings and do regular
sharing and presentations to your fellow colleagues so that everyone
else can benefit from what you’ve learnt.

On top of this, you could consider connecting with experts and


thought leaders within and outside of your industry who are making
waves in human resources and in learning and development.

125
Connect with those playing a bigger game and find out what the
industry leaders are doing – and go learn from them.

On the student front, you can take the extra effort to get to know
your students on a deeper level – their passions, hobbies, interests,
fears, challenges, family, aspirations, etc. Connect with them not
only as a teacher, but as a trusted friend. Strive to see things from
their point of view and do your utmost to cater the learning process
in a way that best suits their learning style, to keep them engaged.

You could even compile your own set of teaching materials and
resources from your past experience with the students and
curriculum. This could be a handy resource that would keep refining
your craft and it could also be something which you can pass to your
subordinates who are starting out in their teaching career.

In this simple teaching example, it goes to show that there are


indeed many ways in which we can add more value in our respective
roles.

It doesn’t mean that if our job title says “teacher”, we just teach. No.
We can do more than that. In fact, we need to do more than that
because the job of a teacher is more than just the impartation of
knowledge.

126
As you start to make going above and beyond your new norm and
standard, you would start to shift from being a mere commodity to a
valued authority.

A commodity is widely available. It does its job and is easily


replaceable. However, an authority is not as widely available, is
extremely competent in its craft and is a resource that is highly
sought after. The former chases after opportunities. The latter is
chased by opportunities.

Strive to go from commodity to authority.

Broaden your perspective

Get out of your comfort zone. Stretch your horizons, expose yourself
to new things and expand your worldview.

When I was much younger, my dad kept encouraging or even


insisting that I “stretch my worldview”. What does that even mean?

I mean, we as a family do quite a bit of travelling, so shouldn’t that


be enough?

127
Well, travelling as part of your vacation does stretch your horizons,
get you to see new things and expose you to different people and
cultures. However, to bring things even further, go for an overseas
trip where you are doing it for something greater than yourself.

This could mean volunteering your time to help build a well in a


developing country, helping to run a kids program for a not-for-
profit, or just spending time with people abroad who are less
fortunate.

The amazing thing is that even though you go with the mission to
give, serve, bless and contribute to others, you would soon realise
that you end up receiving much more than you give, you are blessed
more than you are blessed and you come back more recharged and
refreshed even though you were labouring for love.

The key here is to serve something way bigger than yourself so that
you can play a bigger game.

One renowned Australian entrepreneur told us about a time when he


got the wonderful opportunity to spend time with Richard Branson
in his residence on Necker Island in the British Virgin Islands.

128
He asked Richard a rather interesting question, “How can I improve
my life or make life easier?”

Richard just responded by saying “You just have to find bigger


problems to tackle.”

Two of my business mentors told me that life is about upgrading


your problems, not avoiding them. If you try to avoid your problems,
you would end up maintaining the status quo and having those
problems come back to haunt you. Instead, you should find bigger
problems to solve, so that you become a bigger person and get over
your previous or existing problems.

For instance, Elon Musk’s challenges are in making clean and


sustainable energy omnipresent and in colonising Mars.

Essentially, if you are worried about how to send people to Mars


safely and back, you won’t have time to worry about what other
petty issues like what others think about you or whether the barista
would get your coffee order right this time.

Once you start to expand your boundaries beyond your immediate


community, neighbourhood, society, circle of friends, employer,

129
industry, economy and country, you would realise that there are
bigger and better things to fight for out there.

So start seeing yourself as a global citizen and work towards leaving a


legacy and having worldwide impact. Your journey to a bigger life
and career starts now!

130
11. INVEST IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

I’m a true preacher and advocate for personal development. Things


like self-leadership, time management, goal setting, development of
communication and interpersonal skills, etc.

I firmly believe in the value of growing, stretching and challenging


oneself because you are a person first, then a professional.

Behind every breakthrough company or organisation is a dynamic


team of go-getters. Behind that team are driven and motivated
employees. Behind each employee is simply a person who wants to
change things and make the world a better place.

To get you started on the path and habit of self-development, I want


you to spend a few minutes thinking about what the best version of
you looks like.

So for myself, I’ll visualise what the best version of Dominic would
look like in the following 7 areas:
• physical
• mental
• emotional
• financial

131
• spiritual
• social
• global

The 7 areas of personal development

Physical. Would I be eating, sleeping and exercising well? How much


and how often? Am I committed to an exercise regime? Am I eating
the right foods? Am I affording myself sufficient rest? Perhaps I might
have a goal to finish a full marathon within the next 6 months.

Mental. What would my informational diet look like? What kinds of


media am I allowing myself to be exposed to? How much or how
little time should I be spending on movies and TV? What would I
allow to enter my head? What kinds of books and articles would I be
reading to further improve myself? What kinds of questions and
thoughts am I asking and entertaining?

Emotional. How is my thought life like? What goes around in my


head? How am I keeping myself inspired and motivated? How do I
deal with negativity (whining, complaining, etc)? Am I exhibiting
emotional intelligence in my work? Am I sensitive to the needs of
those around me?

Financial. How am I stewarding my financial resources? Do I have a


plan and budget for my resources? Do I even know how much I’m

132
spending and saving each month? Do I have a dedicated savings
account? Do I have a plan to increase my income and to create
financial independence for myself?

Spiritual. You don’t have to subscribe to a religion to develop


yourself spiritually. If you do, like myself, how much time do you
dedicate yourself to it in a week? What’s your values and beliefs? Do
you think that there is a power/authority greater than yourself? Are
you exercising gratitude for the things you have? Are you helping
others discover their passions and purpose as well?

Social. Who are you hanging out with? Is your company of peers
pulling you down or bringing you up? In your social circles, are you
mostly the influencer or the influenced? Are you currently being
mentored by someone many steps ahead of you? And are you
mentoring someone with less experience than you? Are you
spending enough time with your family and loved ones?

Global. Are you aware of the needs around you - your immediate
community, society and the world at large? Are you actively
contributing to meet the needs of others? Are you giving back and
paying it forward? Do you think beyond your own personal needs
and wants? How much of a global perspective do you have?

133
These, I believe, are the 7 arenas of personal development which we
can work on.

134
12. DEALING WITH PEOPLE

There is no doubt that having great people skills are not only
essential in the workplace, but also necessary if one wants to excel in
his career.

Being able to work well with people is comprised of, but is not
limited to, displaying active listening, being sensitive socially and
culturally, exercising and demonstrating emotional intelligence,
empowering others, respecting others, being able to offer
constructive feedback, being able to communicate effectively with
others, and leading and managing others in a team environment.

15 people skills to help you excel in the marketplace

1. Ability to know how and when to express empathy

Being able to show empathy is good. Being able to know when and
how to show that empathy is even better.

It’s critical to be sensitive on the needs of others as well as the


context of the situation. Sometimes, it’s best to confront the person

135
head on. Some other time, it’s better to give it time before bringing
the matter up.

2. Flexibility

Because people are highly dynamic and sometimes volatile and


unpredictable, you would need to be able to adapt your approach
based on the circumstance accordingly.

3. Ability to exercise good judgement

Being a people person is about not letting your emotions run the
show. While certain behaviours from others may trigger a particular
emotional reaction in you, the key is to be aware of how you
respond, because that is the greatest determinant on how things
would unfold.

4. Ability to support and motivate others

A great people person is able to recognise the strengths and skills of


his peers and find ways to support, motivate and empower them – to
bring them to the next level. And one can do this even without
having a formal leadership position.

136
5. Ability to negotiate with and persuade others

The key to excellent negotiation and persuasion is not about


manipulation and arm-bending, but about finding ways in which
both parties can win. Think win-win and come up with ways and
solutions in which everyone can benefit from. Also, the more you
give, the more you would be able to ask in return.

Dealing with others is like having a social bank account. When you
help others, you deposit social capital into the account, and when
you need help or ask for favours, you withdraw from the account.

6. Leadership

Leadership skills are essential to being a great people person, just


like having people skills is crucial to being a great leader.

A great people person would be able to lead and direct others.

For example, if your team has encountered an unforseen


circumstance (like the supplier failing to deliver the shipment of
goods on time) and many are stressing out, having good leadership
skills will allow you to get everyone to refocus and to get things back
on track.

137
Leadership is not a role, title or position, but having the ability to
direct and influence others towards a common, beneficial goal.

7. A sense of humour

In moments of stress, pressure and turmoil, a great people person is


able to be level-headed and make decisions without being emotional
or impulsive. In addition, it helps to have a sense of humour to dispel
the tension and not take things too seriously.

8. Honesty

A great people person is honest and integrous. He can be relied on


and would make the right decisions whether others are looking or
not.

He is also able to bring the truth, especially the harsh truth, to his
peers in an appropriate and respectful manner.

9. Awareness of body language

A great people person is well aware of the body language others are
having when he is engaging with them.

138
If he notices that they are nodding in acknowledgment and leaning
in to hear more, then he could keep going on with the conversation.

However, if he notices that they appear distracted, breaking eye


contact consistently and have their arms folded, then it’s probably
time to conclude the conversation and move on.

10. Good manners

A great people person treats others with respect and with good
manners, whether he gets it in return or not.

Nothing hurts a relationship more than a person who is rude and


disrespectful.

11. Ability to relate to others

Being able to relate to others is all about putting yourself in their


shoes, seeking first to understand then to be understood, and seeing
things from their perspective.

It’s way too easy to jump to conclusions especially when operating


in a situation with limited information.

139
12. Ability to communicate and listen effectively

A great people person would also be an effective communicator.

An effective communicator is one who is able to ensure that the


recipient gets the message, because it’s easy for the message to get
distorted along the way.

In addition, a great people person exercises active listening when


others are speaking. It’s not about listening to things selectively or
merely appearing to be listening, but about acknowledging and
rephrasing what the other person said, to confirm your
understanding of what you heard.

13. Ability to exercise patience

The truth is that others would offend you whether they know it or
not. This is because nobody is perfect and we do step on each other’s
toes at times.

A great people person is able to look at things objectively and to not


take offence nor take things personally.

140
14. Ability to trust others

While nobody is perfect and that everybody makes mistakes, a great


people person is able to see the gems and the potential in individuals
and entrust them with meaningful tasks.

As a leader, you would not be able to do everything, which means


that you would need to delegate and empower certain tasks to
individuals who you think have the necessary skills and knowledge
to undertake them.

15. Ability to give constructive feedback

Because nobody is perfect and mistakes would be made as a result of


that, you as a leader need to do something about it. If not, the same
mistakes would be made again which could be more costly down the
road.

For correction to happen, you would exercise your ability to give


constructive feedback. A common way to go about doing this is to
use the feedback sandwich.

Top layer: What you have done well


Middle layer: What could be improved

141
Bottom layer: Something positive or how we could all move forward
together

Dear Sam,

I must say that you have done really well in your previous
marketing presentation! Your points are really succinct and you
communicated the value of the positioning strategy well to the
team.

In the future, if more lead time could be given to the rest of the
team about the upcoming meetings and presentations, that would
be great. I’m looking forward to the next one!

Cheers,
Dominic

Respect and honour others

One of my values is in believing in the potential of others and in


bringing out the best in them.

I realised that for most people, the more I respect and honour them,
the more influence I have over them.

142
This means that it’s easier to get my message across to them and
even get them to do things for me when I respect and honour them
in the first place.

Previously, I did mention that we all have social bank accounts.

We can only withdraw that which we have deposited in the first


place.

With this, if you want others to respect you, you would need to
respect them in the first place.

If you want others to help you, you would generally need to offer
them help in the first place.

And you would need to take initiative to invest in others without


expecting anything in return.

True social capital is developed when you give, invest in and add
value to others unconditionally – without expecting anything in
return.

143
Great leaders and great people persons understand that respect is
earned not deserved. One has to give respect first in order to receive
respect.

On the same note, while people might be imperfect, I want to


challenge you to always give the benefit of the doubt and to choose
to recognise the value and potential in others as your first priority.

I emphasise this because I know that it is so easy to pass judgement


on others.

When others fail and make mistakes, it’s so easy to criticise them and
assume that they are incompetent and that they would easily make
the same mistake down the road.

Sometimes that’s true, but I also challenge myself to give them the
benefit of the doubt and to see things from their point of view.

Perhaps they were not adequately trained for the task at hand.
Perhaps they had a bad start to their day. Maybe he wasn’t feeling
too good on the day. Maybe there were other and less obvious
factors leading to the mishap.

144
Strong relationships bring betterresults

Imagine a cold and mechanical manager who is simply uninspiring.


To top it off, all she cares about is performance. She doesn’t seem to
care about how you are faring or feeling about your work – all she
wants to know is how much you have done in terms of meeting your
performance targets.

Whenever she talks to you, it’s always about “Could you do this or
that for me?”, “Have you done this or that?” and “Why haven’t you
done it yet?”.Nothing else.

How do you feel about working under such a manager? How do you
think your fellow colleagues feel about it?

Now imagine another manager who is totally different from the first.

He is inspiring and he empowers his team to be the best that they


can be.

During the meetings, instead of just talking about performance


metrics, he would (genuinely) find out about how the team is feeling
and faring, and discuss ways on how better performance can be
achieved together.

145
When he sets goals and targets for you, it’s not just because he wants
to squeeze every single bit of juice from you, but because he believes
in you and wants you to do even better than what you did yesterday.

Even if you aren’t able to meet your performance targets, he would


not hammer you in judgement. He would listen to your point of view
and try his best to understand where you are coming from. He would
then invite you to brainstorm ways to improve productivity together.

Apart from this, he cares about your life outside of work. He shows
interest and concern for your hobbies and the things you do for
recreation and he seeks to know you more even outside of work.

Now how do you feel about working under this manager? Do you
think the team’s overall performance would be very different as
compared to working for the previous manager?

This is where the power of invested relationships truly shine.

When you invest in others and believe in them, you earn their trust
and respect. And when the time comes for you to get them to do
certain tasks, they would most likely do it because they want to, and
not because they have to.

146
This how strong relationships can lead to better performance and
outcomes.

Know how to stand your ground – you can’t please everyone

Being a great people person is not about patronising others nor


pandering to their every need and want.

There will be times where you need to make tough and even harsh
decisions which not everyone would like. This would also be the acid
test of your leadership capability.

A true mark of a leader in dealing with people is having the guts and
boldness to make a decision and stick to it, despite the backlash and
consequences.

One is able to stand his ground only if he has made the decision not
based on emotions or impulse, but through the wise council of many
and after rigorous deliberation.

147
To add on, one will never be able to please everyone. In fact, if you
try to please everyone, then you would end up pleasing no one,
because everyone has different needs, desires and perspectives.

This is where respect and honour come in.

If I have great respect and honour for you and I see you as a true
friend, this does not mean that I would do or say things which you
want to hear. There might be times where I would have to make a
tough call and have a serious conversation with you about what you
did.

You might not like what you hear and I might not like confronting
you, but I do this because I treasure your character above your
comfort. I’m ultimately doing this for your own good and I only want
the best for you.

And because you see that I truly and genuinely respect and honour
you, you are more inclined to reciprocate. As a result, once you know
that my intentions are genuine and authentic, you would be more
open to feedback, correction and constructive criticism.

Everyone has an opinion

148
Someone said that you need to be careful of where you get your
advice from. People have their own agendas and opinions about
things. If you ask a barber whether you should get a haircut, what do
you think his reply would be? Pretty obvious, right?

First things first, beware of gossip.

I’ve experienced this so many times throughout my career and I


must admit that the more I tolerate or listen to gossip, the more my
impression and perception of certain people change.

If you hang out with your clique and they are really vocal and
passionate about exercising, what happens to you after hanging out
with them for a while? It wouldn’t be surprising that you would end
up working out and subscribing to the group’s prevailing belief,
because if a statement is repeated to an individual long enough, that
might become his truth and reality.

The same goes for dealing with gossip.

If you hang out with a group of friends who say certain things about
a particular individual, what would happen to your impression of

149
him after a while? I’m sure you would start to see him in a different
light – based on what your friends have been saying.

So watch what people are saying and be aware of what you are
hearing.

If you are unsure, always give the benefit of the doubt and seek first
to understand. Those gossipers might just be spreading rumours or
stating their opinion based on how they (want to) see the world.

Secondly, take the advice you hear with a pinch of salt.

Like what was mentioned previously, people have their own agendas
and opinions about things.

To give you an example, after my trip to New Zealand where I


skydived and bungee jumped, I shared my holiday experience with a
number of friends.

One group was really excited to hear about it. They praised me for
my boldness to take the jump and would love to do it in the future.

One other group, however, told me that I took a great risk in those
jumps. They said that it’s not worth the risk and they would

150
definitely not do it. Some even exclaimed that I should have done
something safer instead.

People could give their opinions based on their own perspectives,


worldviews and through the lenses in which they see the world.

It could be that the first group of friends were generally adventurous


and risk-taking. They see the value of stepping out of one’s comfort
zone and going all out for an adventure of a lifetime.

On the flipside, the second group might be more risk-averse and


would prefer to be on the safe side of things. I won’t be surprised if
any one of them read reports of accidents occurring during those
jumps.

So the next time you ask someone for (life, career, money, holiday,
relationship, etc) advice and he says “no”, be aware that he might do
so because:
• he has little or no experience in that area
• he is risk-averse
• he had a bad experience in it previously
• he tried this last time and it did not work favourably for him
• he grew up in an environment that shunned this
• he hangs out with people who disapproves this

151
• he heard “bad” things about this from others

In view of this, do take advice with a pinch of salt and seek many
other individuals for their opinion so that you are not just limited to
one. After that, make the decision based on your best judgement.

152
13. DEALING WITH CHANGE

Change is the only constant as life is always full of surprises, whether


we like it or not.

You might study one thing now and end up with a totally different
career path.

You might study and graduate in your home country and get
deployed overseas once you start working.

Your colleagues might be people who look, talk and behave


differently from what you are comfortable with.

You might have to relocate for work purposes or even for the sake of
job and work opportunities elsewhere.

Once you start working on a project, the customer might want


something totally different from what you expected or the market
evolves into something you least expected.

Think Uber. Started in San Francisco, it allows users with


smartphones to submit their trip request, which is then forwarded to

153
Uber drivers who use their own cars. Essentially, Uber does not
require any vehicle fleet of its own – it uses the untapped capacity of
their drivers’ vehicles. In other words, car owners can sign up to be
an Uber driver and use their vehicles to make some extra money
instead of leaving it in the garage.

And taxi industries around the world are not too happy about this.

Uber is a classic example of a disruptor that shakes an entire


industry up. With Uber, consumers are able to get a ride from other
Uber drivers without having to go through the hassle of waiting and
flagging for a taxi.

On top of that, many taxi drivers around are protesting saying that
their government isn’t protecting them. The irony of this? The more
time they spend protesting, the less time they spend on the road,
which means commuters have more incentive to use Uber, since
there are less cabs on the road.

If you are in the shoes of a taxi driver, you have a choice. You could
either choose to ignore what’s been happening around you and
hope that everything would be fine, and then find yourself being
made obsolete. Or you could recognise that change coming and

154
reinvent yourself. Look for something else to do or even become an
Uber driver yourself.

Are you proactive or reactive towards change?

What is your take on change? Are you one who embraces change? Or
do you wait for change to get you moving?

Do you strive to be the one who initiates change and make it


happen? Or do you hope for everything to stay the same and wait for
change to come knocking on your door?

How to deal with change

Let’s say you just started your new job and you are thrilled and
excited to begin. You had a fantastic first week and you feel that you
are able to get along with everyone and you learnt so much during
that period.

The second week when you are back, your boss tells you that you
would need to be posted overseas for 6-12 months to secure and

155
work out a deal with a client over there. And you are flying off in 3
days.

What are you going to do in this case? How would you manage this
change?

1. Recognise the worst

Putting emotions aside, what is the worst that could happen,


realistically?

Apart from being kidnapped and having your plane crash in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean (which are really, really unlikely events),
what’s the worst that could happen?

You might be homesick, disoriented and be uncomfortable with the


new culture, people, food, climate and environment. But ask anyone
who travels frequently abroad and she would tell you that you would
get used to it. Just give yourself time.

Whenever I’m in a period of abrupt or extreme change, I always like


to rationalise things and ask myself “Is it really that bad?” “Is it really
going to be the end of the world?” Then I tell myself “It’s going to be
alright.”

156
2. Assess what you can control

Let’s be practical here. What can you control? It helps if you can put
a list on paper and write down the many things which are within
your control. And stop stressing about the things which are beyond
your control.

3. Identify the positives

What are the good things that could happen out of this change?

You would get to meet new people, get out of your comfort zone,
experience a new living and working culture, see things which you
don’t get to see in your home country.

4. Put things into action

Now that you’ve identified the things within your control, what can
you do about it?

You might be feeling out of place with the local culture and unsure
about how to assimilate with them. What could you do about it? You
could do some research about the cultural and societal norms in

157
your host country and probably spend a day just observing people
going about their daily lives. How are they greeting each other? How
are they communicating in terms of their eye contact, body language
and gestures?

Armed with that new insight, you can then spend the next day trying
to mingle with the locals.

5. Accept and reframe

Acknowledge that certain things are well beyond your control and
you would not be able to change it.

When I was doing mission work in Kenya, it is not surprising to find


the locals looking at us (the visitors) whenever we are in public. To
start off, we are light-skinned and we look very different from them.
Some might feel intimidated by all these eye contact and attention.

But is it something within my control? Not really.

So what should I do? I shouldn’t stress about it – there are better


things to do and worrying about this was not part of the purpose of
the mission trip.

158
6. Manage your stress and emotions

If you do feel burdened or overwhelmed by the stresses from the


change, take a step back and evaluate your situation. Learn how to
manage your stress and emotions. Take things one step at a time.

7. Seek support if necessary

It definitely helps to speak to someone who can offer a listening ear


to your situation. Even better, seek someone who has been in your
shoes before and understands what you are going through – this
could be a senior colleague who has been posted to the same
country as you.

Whatever the case, you don’t have the face the change by yourself.
That’s what your peer and social circle is for.

How do you see change?

What is your perception of change? Your response to this question is


important because they would have a profound effect on how you
respond to change when it actually happens.

159
Highly successful people see change as a learning experience. It’s an
opportunity for them to get out of their comfort zones, try something
new and even reinvent themselves. And they see the benefit of
change because growth happens when there is change. In fact,
people start dying not when they no longer have a pulse, but when
they stop growing and learning.

They also see change as a necessity for growth. If I want to be


extremely fit and athletic, what needs to change? I would have to
change my mindset about eating well and working out. I would need
to see waking up at 5am to head the track or the gym as something
that is perfectly normal. I would need to see that pushing myself
beyond my limit is normal and part of the growing process. I would
also see things differently. I might cut down on eating out and
partying into the late nights because the gym is waiting for me the
next day at 5am.

Because of those changes which I made within myself, I would then


start to see changes manifest outside of myself. I would have more
energy in the day, would have obviously lost some pounds and my
friends would notice these as well.

And all these happen because I made the deliberate effort to pursue
change and embrace it.

160
Get comfortable being uncomfortable

One of the things which I learnt from the military and from peak
performers is to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Humans have the natural tendency to remain in its comfort zone,


where things are familiar.

There’s nothing wrong being in your comfort zone. It’s a place of


ease, rest and obviously comfort. It’s a place where you can be
yourself and where you can rest and recharge – just like how a
supercar “rests” in the workshop.

However, do you think supercars are built to be put in the workshop?

Obviously not!

They are meant to eat the road, blitz across the highways and sprint
through the countryside – they were built to take on the outside
world. And once in a while, they would need to return to the
workshop, for a brief moment, to get checked and serviced.

161
Likewise for us.

We are meant to take on the world. Inherently, there is an inner


desire in us to want to explore the unknown.

Christopher Columbus made 4 ground-breaking voyages to the


Americas. Marco Polo opened up the Far East to Europe. Neil
Armstrong was the first to set foot on the moon. SpaceX, which was
founded by Elon Musk in 2002, is on a mission reduce space
transportation costs and to colonise Mars. And Virgin Galactic is
developing commercial spacecraft to provide suborbital flights to
space tourists.

While there is a part of us that loves being comfortable, there is


another side of us that would love a taste of the unknown, of the
outside world.

The key to getting comfortable being uncomfortable is to stretch


your comfort zone on a constant and proactive basis.

This means deliberately trying things you haven’t done before,


meeting people who are totally different from you, and travelling to
places you never dreamt of going to.

162
When was the last time you did something for the first time?

In stretching your comfort zone, start small.

Physically, you could start heading to the gym if you aren’t doing so.
Mentally, you could start reading books or listening to podcasts if
you haven’t been doing so. Financially, you could start budgeting
and creating a savings plan if you aren’t already doing so.

The more you stretch yourself, the more comfortable you would be
in being uncomfortable. And you would be more prepared when
change happens.

Personal disruption

One other key to thrive and survive in today’s era of change and
disruption is to constantly find ways to disrupt yourself.

Imagine a cloned version of yourself with the exact goals, skills,


achievements, abilities and even limitations as yourself.

And that clone is competing with you directly, on a day-to-day basis.

163
How would you react? What would you do? How do you plan to
innovate and differentiate yourself from the clone? What can you do
to be several steps ahead of the clone?

Truth to be told, it is much better to disrupt yourself first than to


have something or someone else disrupting you.

While it’s easy for us to compare ourselves with others who might
have a bigger house, bigger car, bigger paycheck, slimmer body,
cuter children, etc, the most important person for us to compete
with is ourselves.

Is today’s version of yourself (much) better than the version of


yourself yesterday?

What can you do to improve and disrupt yourself?

Some time ago I came across a quote by Mark Cuban, a well-known


serial entrepreneur and billionaire in the United States. He said
something along the lines of “Each morning, there is someone in this
world who wakes up with the sole purpose and intention to put you
out of business.”

164
For someone who was No. 211 on Forbes’ list of “World’s Richest
People”, with a net worth of $2.6 billion in 2011, this definitely bears
a lot of weight.

If there could be someone out there who would die to put you out of
business, wouldn’t you want to disrupt yourself and gain the
advantage before he comes knocking on your door?

Going back to the Uber and taxi example mentioned earlier, I had
conversations with 2 taxi drivers, with regards to how much Uber has
impacted their business and livelihood.

The first taxi driver said that it definitely has reduced the number of
pickups he gets, but he is actively looking around for other
opportunities and is considering taking up study or upskilling to
keep himself updated and relevant.

The second taxi driver I spoke to also acknowledged that business


has suffered because of Uber. When I probed further, he said “This is
just the way things are. What can you do about it?” I asked whether
he considered doing something else – finding a different job or even
becoming an Uber driver himself. He replied saying that “He is only
a driver.” From what I got, he seemed to have surrendered himself to

165
the situation and is not willing to look beyond his own limitations
(even self-imposed ones) to create new opportunities for himself.

So my question to you is: What are you doing to stay valuable and
relevant in the midst of change and disruption? What are you doing
to remain ahead of the curve? How are you keeping your cutting
edge and competitive advantage?

Are you constantly stretching and challenging yourself so that when


opportunity knocks you can answer? Or are you just waiting to “see
how things go” and hope that disruption won’t knock on your door?

Be grateful, but never complacent

Never take the things you have and the people in your life for
granted. Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have.

Most likely, you wouldn’t have gotten to where you are right now
without the adequate support and resources.

If you have a warm bed to sleep in at night, a roof (or ceiling) above
your head and running water and electricity, and food in the

166
cupboard and refrigerator, you are way more fortunate than many
others in the world who struggle even to find their next meal.

Sometimes, we have no idea on how blessed we are.

On another note, never, ever be complacent.

Be thankful for how far you have come, but don’t rest on your
laurels. Keep your eyes on the prize, keep moving forward and keep
pushing yourself.

The wonderful thing about life is that we can always strive to live,
serve and operate on a higher level – to play a bigger game.

I read an article on LinkedIn which talked about how Nokia lost even
though they didn’t do anything wrong.

During the press conference in September 2013 where Nokia was


announcing that they have been acquired by Microsoft, the then
Nokia CEO, Stephan Elop, said “We didn’t do anything wrong, but
somehow, we lost.”

167
Nokia has been a reputable and respectable company. While they
didn’t do anything wrong in their business, the one thing which
consumed them was that the world changed too fast.

According to the words of the article’s author, ZiyadJawabra:

They missed out on learning, they missed out on changing, and thus
they lost the opportunity at hand to make it big. Not only did they
miss the opportunity to earn big money, they lost their chance of
survival.

The message of this story is, if you don’t change, you shall be
removed from the competition.

It’s not wrong if you don’t want to learn new things. However, if
your thoughts and mindset cannot catch up with time, you will be
eliminated.

And Ziyad mentioned in his conclusion:

The advantage you have yesterday, will be replaced by the trends


of tomorrow. You don’t have to do anything wrong, as long as your
competitors catch the wave and do it RIGHT, you can lose out and
fail.

To change and improve yourself is giving yourself a second chance.


To be forced by others to change, is like being discarded.

168
Those who refuse to learn &improve, will definitely one day
become redundant & not relevant to the industry. They will learn
the lesson in a hard & expensive way.

What choice would you be making with regards to keeping yourself


relevant today and tomorrow?

Would you rather step out of your comfort zone to risk failure,
embrace change, to learn and to innovate? Or would rather have the
competition come in and render your redundant?

Be grateful, but never complacent.

169
14. DEALING WITH STRESS

I was reading through this report published by the American


Psychological Association called “Stress in America: Paying With Our
Health” which was released on February 4, 2015.

Some of the highlights are:


• The top 4 sources of stress for 2015 (in descending order) are
money, work (if employed), family responsibilities and health
concerns.
• 72% of adults report feeling stressed about money at some point
of time.
• For those who have emotional support, 26% say that their stress
has increased in the past year. But for those without emotional
support, 43% say that their stress has increased for the past year.
• 75% of Americans report experiencing at least one symptom of
stress in the past month.
• 36% of millennials say that their stress has increased in the past
year.

Other reports state that one-third of the American workforce


reported feeling extremely stressed at work, and this job-related
stress is costing the country approximately $300 billion a year.

170
From this we can see that just like change, stress is a constant in life
and it is unavoidable.

How much is too much?

In life, a good, balanced amount of stress is necessary for one’s


growth and development. If one does not experience any stress, then
he might be staying in his comfort zone for too long and that’s not
beneficial in the long run. Conversely, if he is constantly
experiencing too much stress where he breaks down often and burns
out too frequently, then that’s not healthy for him as well.

What’s important is to know how to pace yourself in the things that


you do. Know your limits, stretch them and push past them, but also
know when to slow down or even stop to take a break. Sometimes
it’s more important to take a break, recharge your batteries and
sharpen your axe so that you can go even further down the road.

So how much is too much?

When you are dangerously compromising on the safety and


wellbeing of yourself and others. When your soul feels drained and

171
your joy and satisfaction deflated. When you feel like giving
everything up.

If you do reach that point, slow down and take stock of your
situation. Sometimes, reducing your load is much better than you
reaching your point of burn out and you giving up on everything.

Sharpen your axe

There’s a famous story of 2 lumberjacks who went into the woods to


fall some trees.

The first one challenged the other to see who can chop more wood
and bring down more trees by the end of the day.

So the first guy went out and started working on the trees for many
hours straight and once in a while he notices his companion
stopping his work to take a break somewhere else.

To his surprise, the second lumberjack had a greater harvest at the


end of the day despite spending less time cutting down trees.

His secret? He spent more time sharpening his axe.

172
Stress can wear you down bit by bit and sometimes it’s tempting to
go “brute force” on the things which we have to do.

I have no doubt that there’s a time for that.

However, such an approach would not be sustainable in the long


run. One needs to be intentional about taking a break and
sharpening his axe so that he can be effective on a sustainable and
continuous basis.

Segmenting

Once of the techniques which military servicemen and special forces


operatives use is called segmenting.

This is where you break down a big challenge into smaller and more
digestible bits.

For example, if your objective is to hike for 50 km’s with over 50 kg in


gear over unforgiving and mountainous terrain, you might be easily
overwhelmed just by the thought of it.

173
So what could you do?

Break it down.

As the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single


step.

If you broke that 50 km hike down, how would it look like?

You could choose to do it 5 km’s at a time. If that was still too


overwhelming, then do it 1 km’s at a time. If not, 500m at a time.

If you are going to have a tough and rough day at work, dealing with
harsh and unreasonable clients and a behemoth project to tackle,
how would you break this down?

Perhaps you could choose to bite away on the day by trying to make
it to morning tea time. Once done, aim to make it to lunch time.
Then afternoon tea time. And then the evening. And you will be done
with the day.

Mental visualisations

174
In the military, we were taught how to respond to various scenarios
using mental visualisations.

For instance, if our squad was conducting a patrol in the woods, we


were instructed on how to react when:
• an unidentified vehicle is approaching
• we encountered hostile forces
• a sniper downs one of our squad members
• we were outnumbered by enemy forces

The core purpose of mental visualisations is to ensure that you know


how to respond to a particular scenario when it actually happens.
This is important because when that scenario happens, we don’t
have time to think and consider our possible options. We have to act
right away or else lives would be lost.

For this to happen, we mentally rehearsed the various scenarios and


we were instructed on how to respond even before the scenario
occurred. In other words, we don’t decide how to react when we
were spotted by enemy forces, because the decision was already
made even before that situation occurred.

To apply this to civilian life, how would you react if life throws you a
curveball? What would you do if a client suddenly under-delivers?

175
What would you do if you were made redundant? What would you
do if you fell really sick before an important presentation?

What would you do if you were placed in a stressful situation?

I want you to decide now, so that if a particular tricky situation


happens, you are way more prepared to deal with.

Some people freak out and panic when faced with a crisis. Some just
freeze in their tracks, while others go into hiding.

What would your response be?

Would you take a step back to assess the situation? Identify your
options and alternatives? Do whatever is within your means? And
stop stressing about things beyond your control?

The clearer you are able to picture and visualise your response, the
more prepared you will be when the situation arises.

Exercise emotional intelligence

176
Emotional intelligence is a commonly known leadership and
interpersonal trait. It is a key ingredient in nurturing and
maintaining healthy relationships both in life and in the
marketplace.

The other side of the emotional intelligence coin is all about knowing
how to manage our emotions.

This is important because great leaders and successful people have


their emotions under control, instead of being controlled by their
emotions. They avoid making decisions out of impulse and they
know that they have a choice on how to respond to whatever life
throws at them.

It’s important to note that sometimes life does throw lemons at us.
The unexpected can happen, crises can occur and people can be
unreasonable and unsavoury towards us.

While sometimes we can’t control what happens to us, we, however,


can control how we respond to them. And it is up to us to choose
whether a particular incident makes us worse or better.

Engage in stress-relieving activities

177
If you feel like your world is blazing at 300 miles per hour and that
you are struggling to stay afloat let along breathe, then you might
need to take a break.

Take some time off to refresh yourself and to sharpen your axe. Do
something which is not work-related and something which you
thoroughly enjoy.

Spend time hanging out with your friends and family and take the
time to pamper and reward yourself for coming this far. Look back
and reflect on what you have been through and be grateful for all of
them – up’s and down’s included.

The 4x4x4 breathing technique

According to the Victorian Government’s Better Health Channel


website, a person’s breathing pattern affects his stress levels.

This is true because when a person is stressed or panicky, he usually


takes small and shallow breaths. Do observe your breathing patterns
when you are edgy or worked out.

178
Conversely, when he is calm, composed and relaxed, he usually takes
in deep and long breaths.

What’s interesting is that when we control our breathing patterns,


we affect our emotions as well. And when our emotions are under
control, our body responds accordingly (in this case, our breathing
pattern remains deep and long).

It can work the other way too. When we control our emotions
(exercising meditation or mindfulness, or pausing to rationalise and
make sense of the stressful situation), our physiology is affected as
well (in this case, our body becomes less tense and rigid).

So it works both ways. It can either be a virtuous or a vicious cycle.

In a high risk and high pressure environment, military snipers and


sharpshooters employ controlled breathing techniques to exercise
control and dominance over their response to a stressful situation
and to ensure that they are in a proper state of mind to operate
effectively.

One of the breathing techniques I’ve learnt from military operatives


is what I call the 4x4x4 breathing technique.

179
Step 1: Inhale for 4 seconds through your nose. While breathing in,
count: one-thousand, two-thousand, three-thousand, four-thousand.

Step 2: Exhale for 4 seconds through your mouth. While breathing


out, count: one-thousand, two-thousand, three-thousand, four-
thousand.

Step 3: Repeat Steps 1 and 2 for 3 more times or until you feel less
tense.

Feel free to give this a shot when you are faced with a stressful
situation.

180
15. DEALING WITH FAILURE

Failure is something which I really love talking about because it’s


inevitable in life. As long as you are putting yourself out there to try
or do something, there’s bound to be a chance for things to go wrong
- I’m just being honest and acknowledging that this is a fact of life.

Since failure is unavoidable, why not talk about it, instead of trying
to ignore it or run away from it?

Failure is the “what” not the “who”

I’ve heard so many times people say to others or to themselves that


they are a failure after trying something and screwing up.

Imagine you’re learning how to ride a bicycle. You put your helmet
on, sit on the bike and ready yourself. After a couple of inches and
shaking, you lose balance and fall.

What do you do next? You push the bike aside (if you’re under it),
pick yourself up, brace yourself and try again. You give it another go
and soon enough you are a confident cyclist.

181
What do you think the outcome would be if you beat yourself up for
falling? What happens when you resort to bashing yourself in your
head, telling yourself that you’re a failure?

Most likely, you would give up trying to learn how to cycle


altogether.

This same idea applies to our other endeavours as well.

Ever heard of people saying “I’m just not cut out for this.” or “I don’t
think I’m good enough for this.” or “I can’t do this.”, after making a
mistake?

And have you wondered what happens after that?

Most likely, those labels end up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Because they labelled themselves as “not good enough”, their minds
are primed to pick up on clues which indicate that they aren’t good
enough. And that leads to them reinforcing their “not good enough”
beliefs. And this cycle goes on feeding itself.

So it’s time to break this vicious cycle.

Start seeing failure differently. That failure isn’t the “who” but the
“what”. That failure is not the person, but the incident.

182
Once you are able to isolate the failed incident from your identity,
you would be free to take more risks and be more adventurous
because you know that even if you stumble, that has nothing to do
with your self-worth.

Failure is not final

Whether failure is final or not, it totally depends on you.

If you think that you are done after an encounter with failure, then
you are done – the story ends there.

But if you think that failure isn’t and shouldn’t be the end of the
story, then it won’t be.

You can either see failure as a stumbling block that stops you in your
tracks, or as a stepping stone to bring you further ahead in the game.

And in life, failure brings us the best lessons for us to learn.

If you look at the media, it loves to popularise and sensationalise


people who have “made it” and who are extremely successful. It’s
easy to just look at their outward success and results and stand in
awe of it.

183
However, what the media misses out is the many failures which the
particular individual has to go through before succeeding.

Many people think and still believe in a thing such as an “overnight


success”.

There is no such thing as an overnight success.

If success is the tip of the iceberg (the 10% above the water’s
surface), then failures are the bottom 90% of the iceberg that is
submerged.

So when you encounter your fair share of failure, see it as part of the
journey towards success. It never has to be the end of the story, but
part of the story that makes the journey more worthwhile.

The true definition of failure

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things
that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the
bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

184
This quote always gives me the chills.

I believe that at the end of the day, the worst failure is the failure to
try. I would rather you try and then fail, than you failing to try.

This is because when you make at least an attempt at something, you


have a point of reference for your next move.

For example, if you failed in riding the bicycle by falling and


scrapping your knee, you now know that maybe you should increase
your speed when the bike starts to wobble.

And if you stumbled and embarrassed yourself in a job interview, at


least you now know what to say/do and what not to say/do. You now
have greater insight on the ball game so that you can better position
your next move.

Compare this to individuals who just sit on the sidelines and talk
about their great plans and dreams. They might say that they want to
start a business but don’t do anything about it because they lack
experience. And because of that belief, they don’t seize any
opportunities before them, which further reinforces that belief.
Which is why they remain on the sidelines.

185
What if you were to jump into the frontlines and make something
happen? What if you gave business a shot? Yes, you might fail and
screw up. But at least you know what doesn’t work. You can get back
to it and refine your technique and approach. Even though you
might not have a million-dollar business, at least you learnt from the
entire experience and most importantly, you gave it a shot.

186
16. DEALING WITH FEAR

What are you scared and afraid of?

Everyone has someone he is afraid of.

Draw a circle and label the inside your “comfort zone”. Whatever
that happens inside the comfort zone is, of course, comfortable,
normal and familiar.

What happens outside of your comfort zone can be deemed


uncertain, unfamiliar and even “dangerous”.

However, the best opportunities and successes in life occur outside


our comfort zone.

So what’s holding you back from grabbing the bull by the horns and
stepping out?

Your fears are only as scary as you allow them to be

187
Like mentioned in an earlier chapter, I was totally freaked out when
it was time to execute the bungee jump and to leap out of the plane
at 14,000 feet for the skydive.

It’s perfectly normal to experience fear, but what makes the


difference is taking action despite the fear.

You can plan and brainstorm all you want, but you would eventually
need to execute despite the fear in order to make things happen.

Most of our fears are irrational.

We tend to be very good at over-exaggerating the downside of


pursuing an endeavour and we downplay the upside.

We sometimes spend too much time thinking and pondering on


what could go wrong that we forget about what could actually go
right.

Most of our fears also don’t come true.

You might be giving a presentation in front of your colleagues and


you are shaking with nervousness on stage. You might be really
concerned about how others think of you. You might even be fearful

188
of failure and being ridiculed for screwing up (if it actually happens)
on stage.

But the truth is, most people are more concerned about themselves
and what others think about them.

When you are giving the presentation on stage, you might think that
some members of the audience are out there to find fault in your
speech. But what they could be thinking of is what they’ll learn from
the presentation and what they will have for lunch later.

So don’t give too much regard and attention to your fears.

Deprive it of time

Imagine you have to give a client a call to:


• inform him that the product he bought is faulty,
• apologise for the inconvenience, and
• offer a refund.

It’s your first time calling the client.

189
You have heard from your other colleagues that he might be
unreasonable at times.

You feel the fear and your heart starts to race.

An instinctive thing to do is to take some time to collect your


thoughts, consider the various scenarios and mentally plan for them
and how to respond to them, and take some deep breaths.

You might even consider taking a short stroll, get a coffee, so that you
can come back to address this situation.

I must say that this approach does work at times.

But what is its flaw?

The thing is, the more time we spend thinking about something and
throwing up the different combinations and permutations on how it
might turn out, the more we make ourselves anxious and worried.

“What if the client gets mad and pissed off at me?”

“What if he decides to take action against the company? Wouldn’t


that endanger my career?”

“What if the client spreads a bad word about us?”

190
So on and so forth.

Instead of coming back in a better headspace, you come back into


the office feeling more flustered.

In this case, what should you do instead?

Starve it and deprive it of time.

Reduce or even remove time from it and its decision making process.

Once your boss tells you about the client and passes you the
instructions to address the client, pick up the phone and execute.
Right away.

Don’t think too much. Just charge forward.

Tony Robbins said that emotions are influenced by motion. Change


your motion and your emotion changes. Improve your motion and
your emotion improves.

If you approach your fears and charge ahead offensively, you will
increase your odds of overcoming the fears and prevailing.

191
If you hold back and sink into your chair when calling the client, you
might end up being defeated by your fears.

Am I scared or am I selfish?

Some time ago I had the privilege of picking the brain of Jac Phillips,
Head of Brand and Marketing, Bank of Melbourne.

I managed to connect with her on LinkedIn after seeing her article


featured on MarketingMag and reaching out to her to seek her
insights.

She got back to me really quickly and we arranged for time to catch
up in her office.

I must say that I was really honoured and excited to be able to meet a
high performer in the marketplace and to be able to just spend some
time so that I can gain some insights from her and pass those lessons
to the wider community out there.

192
On the afternoon of the meeting I was really nervous. I felt like I was
heading to a job interview even when I was waiting for Jac in the
reception area.

Hours before the meeting, I did think about postponing the meeting
because I was feeling a little “unwell”.

Then I took a good hard look at how I felt and what I was doing.

On the surface, it might be that I was having this catch up for my


own professional growth and development. Little did I know that I
was actually doing it for a bigger reason because I planned to share
Jac’s insights on my careers blog.

Therefore, it’s not about me. I’m doing it for the hundreds and
thousands of students, graduates, job seekers and professionals out
there who are hungering and aspiring to play a bigger game in the
marketplace.

If I were to hold back or back down just because of this irrational


fear, then I would be doing the game changers out there a terrible
injustice.

Succumbing to fear would mean being selfish.

193
With this, I pressed on and focused on what I could ask Jac and what
I could learn from her countless experiences in the industry.

In the end, I got way more than what I expected or asked for. I met
and learnt from a game changer in the marketplace who is so full of
passion and energy that it puts some 20-year-olds to shame.

So when you feel that you are too scared to do something, have a
hard look at what is really at stake if you hold back or refuse to
execute.

See things from a bigger perspective. You would realise that your
fears would start to seem less daunting when you view them with
respect to the grand scheme of things.

If, for example, you are too nervous to give a presentation to your
university lecture group, shift the focus from yourself to them. It’s
not really about you. It’s about what the audience can gain from
your sharing on stage. If you choose to step back because you are too
scared to go on the platform, you are actually depriving members of
the audience from learning something.

194
If you are too nervous to make the sales call to your customer
because you don’t want to be too pushy or you think that the
customer might refuse, think again. Why are you saying no to the
customer when he hasn’t even seen the product? What makes you so
sure that he wouldn’t need your product now or in the future? Your
job is not to be too concerned about your position or state of
emotions. Your job is to get out there and add value to your
prospects and customers.

If you are hesitating to raise your concerns about a certain issue in


your workplace because you might risk being singled out or that you
might rock the boat, think again. Your job is not to preserve the
status quo – the status quo would preserve itself. If you feel that
certain things could be changed in your workplace, then it is your
responsibility to voice it out and provide solutions or alternatives in
a polite and professional manner. If you refuse bringing that issue
up, you might be depriving your organisation from adding more
value to its employers or customers.

195
196
17. KEEP LEARNING

The sad news is that many people stop learning once they leave
school. They think that their learning is done the moment they
graduate from university and that they know enough to start work.

On the other hand, the great news is that you don’t have to subscribe
to that. You can be a lifelong learner and you don’t have to be in
school to learn. In this connected and globalised age, we have
unprecedented access to a whole world of content, information and
resources – all at our fingertips.

What a great time to be in!

And the Internet makes it so much easier to connect with others,


learn from them, participant in meaningful dialogues and
conversations, and even put our own content out there for the world.

Why would anyone want to miss out on this?

The Rule of 70

197
This is how you can double your current level of skill and knowledge.

I learnt about the Rule of 70 when taking my finance modules in


university. This rule basically states that to estimate how long an
amount takes to double, you would take the number 70 and divide it
by the growth rate of your amount.

To put this in context, if you have $1000 in the bank and the bank
provides an annual interest of 2%, you would need 35 years for your
money to double in the bank from compounding interest.

70 divided by 2 = 35 years

And if for some reason the bank offers an annual interest rate of 7%,
you would only need (70 divided by 7) 10 years for that $1000 to
double.

On the same note, if the bank offers a daily interest rate of 1%, you
would need (70 divided by 1) 70 days for your $1000 to double.

How does this apply to you?

What I did last November was to use the Rule of 70 for my own
personal development.

198
Based on this rule, if I was able to improve myself by 1% each day, I
would be twice as good after a mere 70 days or 10 weeks. How good
is that?

So each day, I would try to learn something which adds to my


personal development. It could be a nugget from a blog post or a
lesson from an encounter at work, or something I learnt from a
podcast.

I would then record that one thing I learnt on my phone. And to date,
I have accumulated more than 600 insights.

Set aside micro timeslots to learn

Using the Rule of 70, set aside small timeslots each day to contribute
to your overall personal development.

You might take just 5-10 minutes to read up an article online or


spend that time reading a book.

The key is to start real small and stay consistent with it because it
would accumulate as time goes by.

199
Many people say that they don’t have time to do this or that, but I
think that’s just an excuse which they have imposed upon
themselves. If you really want something and if you really see the
value in something, then you would make the time for it. You won’t
find an excuse; you would find a way.

Imagine if you just spent 5-10 minutes each day to read a book. How
much knowledge and insights would you have gained by the end of
the year?

The truth is that time flies. We can be so caught up with the day-to-
day busyness that we lose track of time and suddenly realise that 3, 6,
9 or 12 months is over.

So by cultivating these “micro-learning” habits, you put yourself in a


position where time actually works in your favour.

Learn to learn on the go

In my job as a business trainer, the average time I took to get to my


workplace was about 40 minutes, one-way. So in a day, I would have
spent 80 minutes on my commute. And since there are about 261

200
workdays a year, I would have expended 261 x 80 = 20,880 minutes or
348 hours on the road.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a bestseller that has 301 pages for its
paperback version and the audible version of the book takes just 3
hours to complete listening.

Based on those numbers, I could listen to 348 / 3 = 116 books on my


way to and from work, in a single year.

I’m not saying that you should squeeze out every single second from
your commute to learn something. There would be days when you
just need some time and space to unwind. That’s totally fine.

But if we look at those numbers, we get an idea of how much time


could just slip pass our fingers if you are not careful.

I mean, I could listen to the radio with all its associated songs, news,
advertisements and gossip, or I could make better use of my time.

Since I’m going to be spending my time waiting and travelling in


traffic (which is time that I have to spend anyway), why not make the
most out of it?

201
Since then, I’ve been listening to countless podcasts of motivation
speakers, business leaders and high performers. It’s a great way to
learn and challenge myself, as well as to perk myself up whether I’m
going to or returning from work.

When I was commuting on public transport, I read books. When I


was commuting using my own car, I listened to podcasts.

How about yourself?

How would you make the best use of your time as you are travelling
from place to place?

You could also spend your time more fruitfully in other ways. You
could watch a TED talk while ironing your clothes or listen to an
audible book while shopping for your groceries. There a just
countless ways to keep learning. Feel free to get creative!

Think world-class standards

I recently watched a Youtube video where Tony Robbins shared his


ideas on standards.

202
Everybody has his own set of standards and everyone is where they
are at as a consequence of those standards, or lack of them.

If you look at someone who has a well-toned body like a Greek god,
what you are looking at is the result of the standards which he holds
and enforces upon himself.

And if you look at someone else who is grossly overweight, he would


be standing by a totally different set of standards.

In lieu of standards, I want to challenge you to learn from the best in


and outside your field.

If you are looking to improve yourself physically, in terms of eating


well and working out, what kind of standards would high performers
in that area have?

In other words, what would top performers do and what world-class


standards would they subscribe to?

Would an athlete, Olympiad or gold-medallist buy into eating out 4


days a week? Not really.

203
Would waking up at 5am and hitting the gym before the sun rises be
a norm for them? Most likely.

You get the idea.

I’m sure that if you have read this book till this point, you are serious
about developing yourself, and you see the need to challenge
yourself and to push past the status quo. That’s great!

Peak performers attain remarkable results because they think, act


and behave on a totally different level, as compared to those who are
mediocre.

So if you want to get results that you have not gotten before, then
you would have to start doing things which you have not done
before.

Keep learning from others

Have you been to a conference, seminar, workshop or event where


the speaker said something (could be simple or profound) that just
left you awestruck? That one statement could just flip your world

204
inside out? That you left the event feeling different and seeing the
world differently?

If you have, I strongly encourage you to spend more time hanging


around people like that.

Who are you hanging out with?

They say that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most
time with. That is so true, because our peers shape and influence our
world and perspectives.

So have a look at your life and your upcoming schedule in the near
future. Who would you be catching up with?

Ideally, there should be 3 groups of people you hang out with.

Group 1: People at a higher level. This group stretches and


challenges us. They have been there and done that and can bring us
to the next level. They can also challenge our current beliefs and
behaviours and identify certain blind spots which we may be
unaware of.

205
These people are made up of leaders, role models, experts,
influencers and mentors, and they have a big part to play in our
success and development, provided we set aside time to learn from
them.

Group 2: People at the same level.Most likely this would be people


going through the same stage of life as you are. If you are studying,
your classmates would be part of this group. If you are working, your
colleagues would fit the bill.

Hang out with this group because you are in a position to influence
them as a peer. If you are going through a rough patch together, you
can be the one who encourages the rest to push forward.

Group 3: People at a lower level. This group might be made up of


individuals a few steps or pages behind you. It might be your juniors
in school or the intern at your workplace, or someone you could be a
role model to.

Investing time into this group gives you the opportunity to give back
because you have received from someone in the first place. This is
your chance to inspire others and assure them that they would do
just fine because you have been there and done that yourself.

206
Keep networking and reaching out

One reason why I love networking and reaching out, especially to


hear from people who are way ahead in the game, is that I would
never know what I would take away from that encounter.

Think about it in mathematical terms. If a business leader is 60 years


old and has done business for the past 40 years, with his fair share of
failures, successes and stories along the way, what you are getting in
that 1 hour panel interview is the culmination of the best of his life
and career wisdom condensed into that 1 hour period.

How good is that? Don’t you think that it’s so worthwhile to just
spend 1 hour of your time to take hold of the lessons learnt over 40 –
60 years?

Someone said that we could either make mistakes of our own and
spend many years learning from them, or we could learn from the
mistakes of others, so that we don’t have to make them in the first
place. Which one saves more time?

Everyone has a story and everyone can be a teacher

207
In order to learn, one needs to be humble and teachable. Without
those traits, even the best lessons from the best teachers would not
be absorbed by the learner.

I truly believe that everyone has a story to tell and that everyone
could be a teacher, if we are willing to listen and to be taught.

There was one night when I stayed late in the office to finish up some
work for the next few days. It was around 8.30pm at night and the
office cleaners were around to clean and tidy up the place.

One of the cleaners, German, who was vacuuming the floors noticed
that we have a guitar in the office. He stopped vacuuming
momentarily and picked up the guitar and started strumming,
before getting back to cleaning up.

When he came by my desk, I complemented on his playing and he


said that he really missed playing musical instruments ever since he
landed in Melbourne. If I’m not mistaken, he is from either Brazil or
Columbia.

So we chatted for a while and I learnt that he came to Australia to


study and he is working on the side to get some income. He does

208
play in a band in a pub nearby and would like to get an office job
after he graduates.

Just from this conversation I learnt what it means to do whatever it


takes to pursue your dreams, even if it meant working during after-
hours to clean up someone else’s office.

I believe that this conversation was made possible because I was


curious to listen to his story and to learn about his experiences. If I
saw him as just “another cleaner” then I wouldn’t have had the
privilege of finding out more about him.

209
18. KEEP GIVING BACK

Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get, but we


make a life by what we give.”

Living a fruitful and meaningful life is not about meeting our own
needs and desires and accumulating fame, material goods and
reputation for ourselves. It’s about helping others, giving back and
finding our place to contribute to society at large.

I went for a mission trip in Kenya from 21 August to 4 September


2015. I must say that it was really a life-changing trip. We spent time
working with churches, pastors and kids in the slums and we got the
opportunity to see the great work which several not-for-profits are
doing among the community.

What struck me was that even though many were poor in the areas
we frequented, they were willing to bless us with whatever they had
and to spend time with us.

In addition, even though many of them had little (clothes, money,


possessions) in their lives, they were so happy and contented with

210
whatever they had. And they did not let their poverty stop them from
giving to others.

That really touched and impacted me. I started to see my life in a


different light. I didn’t want to build a business just for my namesake
and wealth accumulation. I now want to build it so that I can use it
as a vehicle to bless and empower others.

Look beyond your own needs

I challenge you to look beyond your own needs and wants.

When I came back from Kenya and hear about people complaining
about things like their train arriving late, their coffee not made to
their satisfaction or having too many lunch options to choose from, I
feel quite unsettled inside of me. I have complained about the same
things before, but after seeing how blessed and fortunate we are, I
realised that it is so easy to take things for granted.

So the next time you are tempted to whine or complain about


something, pause for a moment to decide whether it’s worth the
effort. Is it something really significant or is it just a triviality?

211
Volunteer and do something without expecting anything in return

You can bring things to the next level by offering your time and
energy through volunteering. This is best done when you do not
expect to get anything in return.

You could spend some time talking to someone homeless, help out
in a retirement home, raise some funds for cancer research, do a run
to raise awareness for domestic violence. The options are endless.

One thing I realised is that sometimes we have to give first in order to


receive.

Case in point: You had a bad day and you just feel like you need to be
left alone. You get home and your housemate went through
something similar as well.

So instead of doing a “pity party”, you decide to cheer him up, give
him a listening ear and offer him some encouragement, despite you
feeling down as well.

And something magical would happen.

212
I bet you would feel encouraged and walk away lighter than you
entered into it.

I found this true that by offering personal development advice to


others, I feel inspired and motivated myself. So it’s quite interesting
that the more we give to others, the more we receive for ourselves.

Mentor someone

One other way to give back is to mentor someone, either formally or


informally.

When you mentor someone, you are directly investing into that
person and indirectly investing into the people he would meet in the
course of his life.

So assuming if your mentee is 20 years old, who would be living till


he is 80 and who meets 1 new person a day (either physically or
online), he would be interacting with 60 x 1 x 365 = 21,900 people
over the course of that 60 years.

213
If you have impacted him in a really profound way, he would bring
that difference and transformation and pass it on to the 21,900
people down the road.

This sounds crazy, right?

This just goes to show that you are not just investing into a single
person. You will have a part to play in transforming his family, his
children’s family, his relatives, his social circle, his colleagues, his
business network, his fellow soccer buddies, etc.

And when you mentor someone, you are truly investing in the next
generation.

Imagine if you pass on 10 years’ worth of career wisdom to your


mentee. This means you are saving him 10 years’ worth of time to
avoid making the mistakes which you made in your career. And with
that saved time, he is able to further build upon what you have
already established.

214
19. CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY

I remember sitting down in my living room having dinner by myself.


As we didn’t have much furniture at that point of time, I was sitting
on the carpeted floor.

And I had time to think about life. So I thought about life.

What freaked me out soon after was this picture of a tombstone – my


tombstone – with these words inscribed on it: “He played it safe”.

I was extremely shocked and terrified.

And my mind fast-forwarded me to my last moments (in my


daydreaming state), with me lying on my deathbed, with my loved
ones gathered all around me. And what went through my head was
the list of things which were unaccomplished. Things which I should
have, could have and would have done.

I came back to my senses and swore to myself to not play it safe. To


not wait for things to happen, but to make them happen. To not find
excuses, but to find a way. To not just talk, but to do.

215
Are you the thermometer or the thermostat?

What’s the difference?

The thermometer basically reflects the state of the environment it is


placed in, while the thermostat dictates how the environment should
be.

So while the thermometer simply says that the room’s temperature


is 25 degrees C, the thermostat is the one which makes sure that the
room is and stays at 25 degrees C, even though it started out cooler
or warmer.

Would you be the thermometer or the thermostat? Would you be the


one describing the problem or the one prescribing the solution?

It’s so easy for people to whine about their situation and complain
about how “bad” their day is going. It’s also so easy to blame the
weather, the economy, the government, the universe, our
background, our colleagues, or others for the way things are.

But I’m sure that you are better than that.

216
It’s one thing to talk about the state of the situation, it’s another to
brainstorm and come up with solutions on how to deal with it.

And there might be days where you will wake up on the wrong side of
the bed. Would you head out saying that your day would be “bad”
because you didn’t sleep well and the train came late and someone
cut your queue in the cafe?

Or would you dictate that these things are trivial and that your day
would be great not because the stars align in your favour, but
because you chose to make it great?

And when you choose to make your day great, you would start to see
more of the positives in the day as well as the many opportunities
and possibilities within it.

With the wrong attitude, one would see the problems in the
possibilities and the obstacles in the opportunities.

But with the right attitude, he would see the possibilities in the
problems and the opportunities in the obstacles.

The greatest pain is regret

217
Like mentioned before, there are 2 major pains in life: the pain of
discipline and the pain of regret.

The former is less intense and temporal, but the latter is more
painful and it lingers.

Many people end up with regret because they simply chose the
easier path that is in front of them.

Take studying for example. One could face the pain of discipline by
studying and preparing for the exams, or he could choose the easy
way of winging it and realising that he has to repeat that same
subject the next semester. That’s the pain of regret in that context.

So do yourself a favour by doing something for yourself which the


future version of you would be thankful for.

Life is short, seize it!

It’s true that we only live once. That’s the harsh truth.

218
But it’s also true that the world is your oyster. If we really open our
eyes and be willing to put ourselves out there, we would be amazed
at the amount of opportunities life can present to us.

The state you are in now is the result of past actions and decisions
you have made. If you are not happy with the status quo, then things
would have to change.

Someone said that if we wanted to go to where we haven’t been


before, then we would need to do things which we haven’t done
before.

That’s so true.

The world is out there for your taking, and you have so much to offer.
You are the creator of your own destiny.

Carpe diem! Seize the day!

219
20. HUNGER, OBSESSION, ENERGY AND
SUCCESS

How hungry are you?

Is your mouth watering and stomach growling?

16 Eveleigh Street, Redfern, Sydney (New South Wales), Australia.


th
Sunday, 24 July 2016. 12.30pm – 5pm.

If you fancy juicy, tasty and artery-clogging fried chicken, Sydney


had a Fried Chicken Festival which featured:
• Southern-style fried chicken with hot sauce, ranch and pickles
• Korean fried chicken
• fried chicken burgers and fried chicken sandwiches

Not to mention the accompanying wines and beers.

Drooling already?

Whenever I mention this festival in my speaking engagements, the


audience get so excited about it and some even had the thought to
move to Sydney just to have a bite at this event.

220
Truth is, if you are hungry enough, somehow or rather, the food will
find its way to your stomach. Or you would find a way to get to the
food.

I’m not just talking about physical hunger, even though all of us can
relate to it and some might even experience it perpetually. I’m
referring to the hunger for success.

Are you hungry for success? How hungry, thirsty and desperate are
you to take yourself to the next level?

Do you have an appetite to achieve great things?

When we are physically satisfied and are not hungry, even the best
foods and delicacies wouldn’t appeal to us very much.

However, if we have not eaten for days, even the simplest of meals
would taste like heaven.

Likewise, if you don’t crave for success, every opportunity to growth


and step out would seem dull. Or worse still, you might even fail to
spot those opportunities.

221
On the other hand, if you do crave and hunger for success, you
would be aware of the opportunities around you and you would be
willing to do whatever it takes to make things happen.

If you hunger to get a particular car, you would do all the research in
the world to find out more about it. You would watch video reviews
of it on Youtube. You would grab and glance through car magazines
to find out more. You would visit the car showroom to arrange for a
test drive. You would go to the bank to get a car loan. You would
make your purchase of the car.

You would do whatever it takes. Because you hungered for it.

I always encourage university students and fresh graduates to reach


out to professionals so that they can get some insights about the jobs
and industries which they are heading into.

And one of the most common worries is that they feel that they don’t
have much to offer to the professional.

“Why would the professional bother to take the time to meet with
me?”

“I’m not sure what I can offer to him/her.”

222
When I caught up with a friend from church, who is probably in his
50’s or 60’s and has owned and ran a multi-million dollar software
company, he told me that he loves hanging out with younger people
because they bring so much passion, energy and enthusiasm. Plus
they are hungry, as compared to his counterparts who are much
more reserved, conservative and risk-averse.

That’s it!

If you don’t have much to offer to someone else in terms of skills,


knowledge and experience, you can always offer your hunger and
willingness to learn.

Never ever let your lack of skills, knowledge, talent, experience or


money stop you from doing whatever it takes to reach out and to
succeed!

Be obsessed – all in, all the time.

It’s one thing to be passionate about your life, goals and ambition.

It’s another to be totally immersed and obsessed about it.

223
How obsessed are you in wanting to make your dreams happen and
to live a bigger life?

The resistance and obstacles which stand in your way on your path
to success will always be there.

There will always be something that will get in your way, someone
who doesn’t believe in you and something that could crop up.

The way to overcome and surpass the resistance is to be totally


immersed and obsessed in what you do.

When I was job searching, the jobs market was competitive and it
still is.

To put things into perspective, the state in which I lived in, Victoria,
Australia, produced a total of 95,116 fresh graduates in 2015 from
more than 9 of its universities and higher education institutions
(according to the Australian Government, Department of Education
and Training).

And in August 2015, there were only a total of 38,900 jobs – full-time,
part-time, contract and casual positions across all industries – in the
state (according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics).

224
It’s really a jungle out there.

How has this got to do with being obsessed?

Thing is, you would need to be absolutely obsessed about something


in order to bring yourself to a higher level of operation and
performance.

If I thought that the jobs market was the way it is and remained
mediocre in my job search approach, I can guarantee you that I
might still be searching for a job right now, or be working in one
which does not fully utilise my skills (i.e. being underemployed).

The reason I managed to get out of that rut and start kicking goals
was that I resolved that I was deeply dissatisfied with being
unemployed (while doing odd jobs to pay the bills) and decided that
I would commit to doing whatever it takes to change my outcome.

Once I decided to become 100% focused, committed and obsessed


about making a change in my approach and changing my career
outcomes, everything started to change.

225
My attitude was different. My work ethic improved. I was more
focussed and intentional in doing things which truly made a
difference to help me get my dream job – everything else was a mere
triviality or distraction.

I resolved to be all in, all the time.

The one thing which separates elite athletes from amateur ones is
that high achievers keep pushing themselves and they stop only
when they are done, while the amateurs stop when they are tired.

I know, you might have friends or people close to you who are saying
things like “Why are you pushing yourself so hard?”, “Why are you
working so hard”, “Just relax and take it easy...”

Sounds familiar?

Before you buy into their advice, consider where they came from.
It is highly likely that those who encourage you to “not push yourself
too hard” have already decided for themselves that they are
“satisfied where they are”.

People tend to impose on others what they have already imposed on


themselves.

226
Take all advice with a pinch of salt. Only accept and listen to those
which benefit and apply to you.

How you turn up determines how things turn out

How energetic are you? How much energy do you bring into your
day and into your circumstances?

One of my former business coaches, who operates a 6 to 7 figure


coaching practice said that the amount of energy you have
determines the amount of money you eventually earn.

So how does this energy dynamic work? And why does it even
matter?

I realised for myself that the topic of energy is seldom or never taught
in business schools, lectures, workshops or conferences.

Energy is important!

227
Have you ever been so drained, tired, exhausted and lethargic that
even the simplest of tasks like getting dinner or collecting your mail
felt like carrying the weight of the whole world?

And have you been so energised, excited, pumped and exhilarated


that you felt that you could take on the whole world and that nothing
could stop you?

The more energy you have, the more work you can do.

The more energy you have, the more confidence you would bring
into your situation.

The more energy you have, the more you are able to face and
overcome setbacks, resistance and failures.

The more energy you have, the more likely it is that people would be
drawn to you.

The more energy you have, the more you are able to seize the
opportunities that come your way.

Every day, we are selling ourselves. And we are always making an


impression.

228
If you are jobless and lethargic, you might be dragging your feet to an
interview and others might perceive you as not being interested to
change or improve your situation.

If you are jobless but energetic, you would be bringing passion and
enthusiasm into your interview. You would be finding ways to
improve your situation. You would not let your lack of employment
stop you from pursuing greatness.

If you are employed and lethargic, you might end up going through
the motions of the workweek. Clocking in at 9am and clocking out at
5pm. Always looking forward to the weekends and dreading it when
Monday draws near. You might be doing the bare minimum in your
job and go around being disengaged and disinterested. Would
anyone love to work with a colleague like that?

If you are employed and energetic, you start your day with purpose
and are on the lookout for ways to add value to your work, colleagues
and customers. You find joy and satisfaction in what you do, despite
the challenges that you face along the way. You are wholehearted in
what you do and always give your 100%. What kind of impression
would you be leaving with your workmates?

229
How you turn up at the start of the day determines how the day turns
out.

How you turn up in a situation determines how the situation turns


out.

A recent article from Business Insider which studied the habits of


successful CEOs pointed out that the one thing which most of them
did, if not all, was that they woke up early to exercise before they got
on with the day.

How does this work?

When you wake up early to exercise, you are intentional in starting


the day – you are being proactive. This is in stark contrast to waking
up when you really have the wake up – by reacting to the alarm
clock.

Also, when you exercise, you get your body moving, your heart rate
up and your blood pumping. When you finish the workout, you are
rewarded with a dopamine rush and a sense of accomplishment –
even before others have woken up. How good is that?

230
Our bodies need time to attain a full state of wakefulness after we get
out of bed.

If we get up just in time to rush into and out of the bathroom and out
of the door for work, most likely we would be half-asleep on our
commute.

However, if we gotten up earlier to get our day sorted out, to work


out, have breakfast and meditate, we would definitely be more
pumped and energised when we leave home. And by the time we
step into work, we would be switched on and ready to hit the ground
running. On top of this, we would have gotten an advantage over our
other colleagues who are still half-asleep and who need the first few
hours to “warm up”.

So how are you turning up each day?

Are you switched on and pumped to face the day?

Or do you drag your feet and try to merely survive the day?

Remember, how you turn up determines how things turn out.

231
How do you see success?

One of the most famous and prominent salesperson and sales coach
from the United States, Grant Cardone, says that “Success is your
duty, responsibility and obligation.”

With this, success should not be merely viewed as something


aspirational that is waiting for us to seize “out there”. Instead, it
should be viewed as a need, necessity and requirement to survive.

In the good old days, doing just enough might be good enough.

You go to college, you graduate from university and you enter the
workforce.

You remain loyal and faithful to your employer and to the company
you work for until you retire.

You do what is required of you.

You clock in at 9am and clock out at 5pm. You work 5 days a week
and have 2 weekends off for yourself. You do what is within your job
description and you don’t push the envelope or rock the boat. You
follow orders and you follow them well.

232
However, in today’s day and age, doing enough is sometimes not
good enough.

In fact, we need to continuously stretch and challenge ourselves and


push our personal and professional boundaries. We need to make
going above and beyond the new norm.

If you do just enough and there is someone else out there who might
have half the experience and qualifications compared to you, but
double the drive, energy and motivation to do whatever it takes to
succeed, who do you think would be ahead of the game in no time?

It is critically important to take full ownership and responsibility of


your own success.

You need to see success not only as something you deserve, but as
something which part of your core DNA and identity.

Michael Phelps isn’t just another athlete who swims. He is a


swimmer. It is part of his calling and identity – something which I
believe he is born and made for.

233
On the same vein, you need to see success as not something out
there, but something that is already in you and is just waiting to be
manifested through what you do.

If you are a parent, you need to be successful in your parenting and


in your relationship with your children. You can’t afford to be half-
hearted and take care of your kids only when it’s convenient and sit
back, fold your arms and see how their upbringing goes. What kind
of parent would that make?

You are not doing it just for yourself. You are doing it for the kids.
You are influencing your kids, who will then influence countless
others over the course of their lives. And this is really a big deal.

Therefore, you need to go all in regarding investing time and


cultivating the values and character of your children. You need to be
wholehearted and successful in imparting into them. Why? Because
if you are not the influential and prominent voice speaking into
them, then someone or something else out there would gladly do the
job for you. It could be the mass media, pop culture icons,
celebrities, the school bully, etc.

If you are an employee, you need to be successful in your career


because believe it or not, you are contributing to the success or lack

234
of success of the company. You are not doing it just for yourself. You
are doing it for your colleagues, your boss and your customers. And
you are also doing it for your friends and family by bringing the
bacon home.

When you do not prioritise the success of your career, someone or


something else would gladly do it in your place. Your boss might let
you go and hire someone who can do the job more effectively. Your
customers might go to another provider who would offer a better
and higher quality good or service. And your competitor might come
in to disrupt your business, take market share and render you
obsolete.

Success is not just an aspiration. It needs to be an imperative and a


way of life.

235
21. CLOSING WORDS

Thanks so much for allowing me to be part of your journey for life


and career success.

There is no doubt that there will be times in your life and journey
that you would undergo a combination of stress, doubt, anxiety,
disappointment, burnout, fatigue, uncertainty, frustration and
despair.

But what separates the successful from the mediocre is that they pick
themselves up quickly after they fall.

Likewise for you.

What matters more is not how hard you fall, but how fast you pick
yourself up.

Know that you are more capable and resilient than you think you
are. You have no idea what you are truly capable of.

You don’t have to wait for the stars to align or for the perfect
moment. You go out there and make the moment perfect.

236
I’m so excited and honoured to share this journey with you. You will
have your own set of unique struggles, challenges, successes and
victories. Whenever you feel like giving up, know that the champions
and giants who went before you felt exactly the same way at one
point or another.

They just chose to not give up but to give it their all.

You are not a problem looking for a solution out there to “make your
life easier/better”. You are the solution looking to solve a problem or
issue out there.

You are a champion. You are a game changer. You are an agent of
change.

The world is your oyster, playground, stage and battlefield.

Go out there, make something amazing happen and leave a legacy.

I would love to meet you one day at an event and hear about the
wonderful stories and things which are happening in your life.

So let’s stay in touch.

237
Feel free to connect with me on:
• email: [email protected]
• LinkedIn: https://au.linkedin.com/in/sohdominic
• the website: http://industry-bootcamp.com

So all the best, dream large, very large, and take care. I’ll see you
around!

238

You might also like