The Garbage Generation by Dr. David Amneus
The Garbage Generation by Dr. David Amneus
The Garbage Generation by Dr. David Amneus
"Women," wrote Ramsey Clark in 1970, in his celebrated book Crime in America, "are
not a threat to the public." But he also wrote, in discussing the male juvenile criminals who are a
threat to the public, that "three-fourths came from broken homes." That means mostly female-
headed homes. That means that while the single mothers of these criminals do not themselves
commit crimes and go to prison, the socialization they give their children has an extraordinarily
high correlation with the male crime of the next generation. This socialization, in fact, is the
"root cause of crime" which Clark wrote his book to explore. He had found the explanation he
sought and he didn't know it. It was concealed by the generation-long time-lag between cause
and effect and by the sex-switch between generations: like hemophilia, crime is manifested in
males but carried and transmitted by females--or rather by single females. Instead of seeing the
true connection, Clark gave his readers this:
If we are to deal meaningfully with crime, what must be seen is the dehumanizing
effect on the individual of slums, racism, ignorance and violence, of corruption and
impotence to fulfill rights, of poverty and unemployment and idleness, of generations of
malnutrition, of congenital brain damage and prenatal neglect, of sickness and disease, of
pollution, of decrepit, dirty, ugly, unsafe, overcrowded housing, of alcoholism and
narcotics addiction, of avarice, anxiety, fear, hatred, hopelessness and injustice. These are
the fountainheads of crime.
Not so. If we are to deal meaningfully with crime, what must be seen is its relationship
with the female-headed family. Most criminals come from female-headed families. Most gang
members come from female-headed families. Most addicts come from female-headed families.
Most rapists come from female-headed families. Most educational failures come from female-
headed families. Every presidential assassin before Hinckley came from a female-headed family
or one in which he had an impossibly bad relationship with his father. Most illegitimate births
occur to females who themselves grew up in female-headed families.
If we are to deal meaningfully with crime, what we must do is reduce the number of
female-headed families; what we must do is prevent the divorce courts from expelling half of
society's fathers from their homes; what we must do is terminate a welfare system which
displaces millions of men from the principal male role, that of family-provider. What we must do
is make the father the head of the family.
The female role, says Margaret Mead, is a biological fact; the male role is a social
creation. This is the primary reality concerning human society. Motherhood has been the
dominant feature of mammalian life since its beginning some two hundred million years ago,
most conspicuously since the great reptiles became extinct and the Age of Mammals began sixty-
five million years ago. Fatherhood in the sense of major male participation in reproduction is
only a few million years old. Fatherhood in the sense of male headship of families is only a few
thousand years old.
What is happening to our society is that it is discarding patriarchal sexual regulation and
reverting to the primeval mammalian pattern of a reproductive unit consisting of the mother and
her offspring, the male putting in an appearance to perform his minuscule sexual function and
then disappearing or being hauled away to the sausage factory or being reduced to the role of
stud who can be discarded when his female tires of him. "Men and women," rejoices feminist-
anthropologist Helen Fisher, "are moving toward the kind of roles they had on the grasslands of
Africa millions of years ago....Human society is now discovering its ancient roots....The recent
trend toward divorce and remarriage is another example of a throwback to earlier times....[T]he
so-called new extended family [read: broken family] may actually have evolved millennia
ago....At long last, society is moving in a direction that should be highly compatible with our
ancient human spirit....The 'traditional' role of women is a recent invention."
Biologically speaking, it is indeed a recent invention, scarcely older than the civilization
which it made possible and which emerged coevally with it and created the wealth which
reconciled women to accepting it. But women's new economic independence is leading them to
yearn for a return to the prehistoric mammalian arrangement. "[W]herever women are
economically powerful," says Fisher, "divorce rates are high. You see it in the Kung and you see
it in the United States." Let's say, wherever women are economically powerful and there are no
social guarantees to ensure male headship of families, divorce rates are high--such being the case
among the Kung and the Americans. The Kung have no social guarantees to ensure male
headship of families because the Kung never emerged from the Stone Age. The Americans have
no social guarantees to ensure male headship of families because there exists an elementary
confusion in the heads of policy makers, lawmakers and judges, who imagine that the obvious
strength of the biological tie between the mother and the infant (the "biological fact" Margaret
Mead refers to) means that it requires their assistance. A biological fact does not require the
services of the legal system. What does require these services is the weakest biological link in
the family, the role of the father. It was the creation of this role--only a few thousand years ago--
which made patriarchal civilization possible. Prior to that, mankind had to muddle through the
million years of the Stone Age with the female-headed reproductive arrangements of the ghetto,
the barnyard and the rain forest.
Annex to Chapter I
The Annex is an essential part of the argument of this book and logically belongs at this point in
the text. To place it here, however, would be placing a stumbling block in front of the reader,
asking him to plow through fifty pages of tedious documentation, filled with repetitious overkill,
proving the assertions made in Chapter I. Like the textual notes in an edition of Shakespeare,
which nobody reads and which only one reader in hundreds consults, it has to be in the book but
it does not have to be read. It is enough that the reader should know that there exists (and can be
consulted on pages 000-000) proof that the high-crime, low- achieving areas of society are those
with the greatest numbers of families headed by women and that the low-crime, high-achieving
groups in society are those with stable, patriarchal families--that the feminist/sexual revolution
and its attempt to impose a social organization based on female kinship is a failure and that it is
necessary to return to a social organization based on male kinship.
Chapter II
The Once and Future Matriarchy:
The Stone Age, the Ghetto, and the Promiscuity Principle
In the Matriarchal System the reproductive unit consists of the mother and her offspring,
the father playing a marginal role, wandering into and out of the "family," subject to dismissal at
the mother's bidding. The central fact about this kind of family is its naturalness. Roman jurists
spoke of maternity as a natural fact, "natura verum," and of paternity as merely a matter of civil
law. "In all but a few species," writes Sarah Hardy, "females are permanent residents in social
groups, males mere transients." This is the reproductive arrangement of all lower mammals. It
has been the reproductive arrangement of the human race itself until recently. Its biological
backup is awesome--what Margaret Mead meant by saying the female role is a "biological fact."
It is the reproductive pattern which re-emerges in times of social catastrophe. When men
are killed on battlefields or cast into prisons, female-headed families carry on. When there is
divorce, the mother takes custody of the children. When ghetto males sit on curbsides and get
stoned, ghetto females and children stay home and watch T.V. The matriarchal family may result
from catastrophe, but it may also result from doing nothing, from biological and social drifting. It
is always on standby, always waiting to resurface and re-establish itself. It is what society lapses
into when the upkeep and maintenance of the patriarchal system is neglected. It is the pattern
which is re-emerging at the present time under the aegis of the feminist/sexual revolution.
It is the pattern found in surviving Stone Age societies. A 19th century German ship's
doctor described the situation in the German African colony of Cameroon thus:
"Originally," writes W. Robertson Smith, "there was no kinship except in the female line
and the introduction of male kinship was a kind of social revolution which modified society to its
very roots." "Kinship through females," says John McLennan, must be a more archaic system of
relationship than kinship through males--the product of an earlier and ruder stage in human
development than the latter--somewhat more than a step farther back in the direction of savagery.
To prove its existence on such a scale as to entitle it to rank among the normal phenomena of
human development, is, we may now say, to prove it the most ancient system of kinship."
The term "family" properly refers to the male-headed patriarchal unit. "The relations
arising out of the reproductive functions, which constitute the only analogue of social relations to
be found in the animal world," says Briffault, differ conspicuously from those generally
connoted by the term "family." That term stands, in the tradition of civilised societies, for a
group centering round the interests, activities, and authority of a dominant male. The husband is
the head of the family; the other members of the group, wife and children, are his dependents and
subordinates. The corresponding group arising out of the reproductive functions among animals
presents no trace of that constitution. It consists of the mother and her offspring. The male,
instead of being the head and supporter of the group, is not an essential member of it, and more
often than not is altogether absent from it. He may join the maternal family, but commonly does
not. When he attaches himself to the female's family his association with it is loose and
precarious. He has no functional place in it. The parental relation is confined to that between
mother and brood. Paternity does not exist. The family among animals is not, as the human
family is supposed to be, the result of the association of male and female, but is the product of
the maternal functions. The mother is the sole centre and bond of it. There is no division of
labour between the sexes in procuring the means of subsistence. The protective functions are
exercised by the female, not by the male. The abode, movements, and conduct of the group are
determined by the female alone. The animal family is a group produced not by the sexual, but by
the maternal impulses, not by the father, but by the mother.
"In the great majority of uncultured societies," writes Arthur Evans, "women enjoy a
position of independence and of equality with the men and exercise an influence which would
appear startling in the most feministic modern civilized society." "Women," he adds, had a very
high status in the Stone Age, as we have seen. Archeology, myth and comparison to still existing
nature societies all point to their dominant position.
The matriarchal family pattern is being restored by the welfare system, by the
feminist/sexual revolution, by women's growing economic independence and by the legal
preference for mother-custody following divorce. Writing of the educated and economically
independent women created by women's liberation, Elizabeth Nickles and Laura Ashcraft say,
"The Matriarchal woman who finds that her relation with a man is undermining her sense of self-
esteem will not consider it necessary to cling to the relation for the traditional reasons, and she
will have the self-sufficiency to stand on her own." Because "the Matriarchal woman" can afford
it, she reverts to the mammalian/matriarchal family pattern. The choice is hers; the father has
nothing to say about it. She knows she has the chivalrous support of lawmakers and judges who
suppose that a biological fact needs the help of lawyers, whereas merely social arrangements
such as the marriage contract do not--these can be set aside if Mom decides they should be set
aside. The result: educated, economically independent women have a divorce rate five times
greater than the fifty percent divorce rate of other women. The man who marries such a woman
will find himself without bargaining power and, if his wife chooses, without children, without
home, without a large part of his future income. "In the coming matriarchy," continue Nickles
and Ashcraft, families will be thought of as sets of divers individuals rather than homogeneous
social clusters, and the definition of "family" will broaden to include many kinds of living
arrangements, as is happening now without widespread social recognition. We may see the
advent of the rotational family, in which there is no single, stable cast of characters for a lifetime,
but rather a series of individuals--male and female- -who will be added to or phased out of a
continually reconstituted family unit as the needs, interests, and emotional commitments of the
couple, individual, or group dictate. The first five years of a woman's adult life may be spent
living with male and female roommates; the next five years with a male mate; the next five with
a husband and a child; the next three with two female friends, and so on. This pattern is already
emerging, but when it occurs on a large scale, we will see the rotational family replacing the
nuclear family as the status quo.
The family pattern is called "rotational," but it does its rotating around the fixed figure of
Mom, who remains at its center while males make their entrances, do their orbiting, and make
their exits. It is the pattern of the Hopi Indians, of whom Fred Eggan gives the following
description:
The central core or axis of the household is composed of a line of women--a segment of a
lineage. All the members of the segment, male and female, are born in the household and
consider it their home, but only the women normally reside there after marriage. The men of the
lineage leave at marriage to reside in the households of their wives, returning to their natal home
on various ritual and ceremonial occasions, or in case of separation or divorce, which is frequent.
Into the household in turn come other men through marriage....The household revolves about a
central and continuing core of women; the men are peripheral with divided residences and
loyalties.
A. I. Richards calls this pattern the "institution of the visiting husband or the visiting
brother," and remarks that the pattern is characterized by unstable marriages: "A man who cannot
stand the situation in his wife's village leaves and goes elsewhere. This might be described as the
solution of the detachable husband."
It is the pattern of the ghettos, where illegitimacy now exceeds 50 percent and where men
and boys grow increasingly roleless and violent--and where women live in poverty and complain
of their insufficient subsidization. It is the pattern of increasing numbers of households in the
larger society. According to the Washington-based National Center for Policy Alternatives, 40
percent of girls in school today will be heads of households. "Ten percent of the nation's families
are headed only by a woman," writes Joreen, "but 40 percent of the families classified as poor
have female heads." Implying, naturally, that society should do more to help these poor Moms
and their kids. The matriarchal days of the Stone Age are thus nostalgically described by feminist
Marilyn French:
From 3.5 million years ago to about 10,000 years ago, was a peaceful period, when
"marriage" was informal, casual.... Yes, there was a garden and in it we gathered fruits and
vegetables and sang to the moon and played and worked together and watched the children grow.
For the most part life was good, and we made art and rituals celebrating our participation in the
glorious spectacle and process of life within nature.
A woman did not need a husband as a means of support; she was herself
economically independent as a producing member of the community. This gave women,
like men, the freedom to follow their personal inclinations in sex relations. A woman had
the option of remaining for life with one husband, but she was not under any legal, moral
or economic compulsion to do so.
This freedom was destroyed with the advent of class society, private property and
monogamous marriage.
It was destroyed by the advent of class society, private property, monogamous marriage
and the creation of wealth and civilization which stable marriage made possible. The promiscuity
which characterizes the matriarchal system denies men a secure role within families and the
motivation provided by that secure role. The absence of that motivation is why the ghettos are
the mess they are--why the women of the ghettos enjoy the "freedom to follow their personal
inclinations in sex relations," but find that the families in which they enjoy their freedom are
impoverished and underachieving. Ms. Reed lauds the freedom of such women. But there is a
complementary freedom which is denied them. If they exercise their freedom to be promiscuous,
they cannot enter into a stable and binding contract to share their reproductive lives with men
who need to rely on their loyalty and chastity as a precondition for having legitimate children
and stable families. Once women get the freedom to make the marriage contract non-binding,
then they may suppose they have the "option" of either remaining for life with one husband or of
not so remaining, but since the husband has no comparable option--the woman's freedom
includes the freedom to throw the man out and take his children from him (and in the American
matriarchy to take part of his paycheck as well)--the man is forced to share the woman's view of
the marriage as non-binding. He becomes roleless and de-motivated, likely to become a drifter or
a disrupter of society, likely to be regarded by women as poor marriage material, to be pointed to
by feminists as proving the anti-sociality of males and the need for more feminism.
"If motherhood and sexuality were not wedged resolutely apart by male culture," says
Adrienne Rich (she means wedged resolutely together), "if women could choose both the forms
of our sexuality and the terms of our motherhood or non-motherhood freely, women might
achieve genuine sexual autonomy." Quite so. Women are choosing it and thereby wrecking the
patriarchal system. It is the declared purpose of feminists (including Ms. Rich) to do so. "Our
liberation as women and as lesbians," write Barbara Love and Elizabeth Shanklin, will never be
accomplished until we are liberated to be mothers. Until we have the power to define the
conditions under which we exercise our biological potential, until we define for ourselves the
role of motherhood to include the power to determine the conditions of motherhood and to
determine the environment in which our children are reared, we have no real choice. And until
we have choices, we are not free.
The legal system, which divorces the parents of l.2 million children every year, and the
welfare system which subsidizes the needs of 700,000 children born to unmarried mothers each
year, are helping them to achieve this freedom--and passing the costs on to the shrinking
numbers of patriarchal families. Only a fraction of those costs consists of immediate money
payments. "The vast majority of neurotics," writes John MacArthur, "both children and adults,
grew up in homes where there was no father, or the father was absent or weak, and the mother
was domineering." A disproportionate amount of child abuse takes place in female-headed
families. According to Neal R. Pearce, "there is a strong correlation between the single-parent
family and child abuse, truancy, substandard achievement in school and high unemployment and
juvenile delinquency." Most victims of child molestation come from single parent households or
are the children of drug ring members. The pattern among victims parallels that among
offenders. Researchers at North Florida Evaluation and Treatment Center report that "the pattern
of the child molester is characterized by a singular degree of closeness and attachment to the
mother." Feminist Carolyn Shaw Bell proposes "a special tax to pay for the total welfare benefits
of families headed by women, and sufficient to increase these benefits so as to wipe out the
income differential between poor children with only a mother and well-off children with two
parents. The tax would be levied on all men." Feminists believe that the patriarchy ought to
subsidize its own destruction by paying women to create fatherless families. According to
Martha Sawyer, a Ph.D candidate at Howard University, the costs of these fatherless families
should be paid by "the most advantaged category, monied white men." Paid, that is, by men who
retain a niche in the patriarchal system which creates the wealth.
"What would it have been like," ask feminists Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, if
patriarchy had never happened? To get an idea, we have to comprehend the first law of
matriarchy: Women control our own bodies. This would seem a basic premise of any fully
evolved human culture; which is why primate patriarchy is based on its denial.
The process of redefinition begins with women reclaiming total sexual and reproductive
autonomy; for if the female body can be controlled or used, in any way, from the outside--via
exploitive definitions or systems--then so, it follows, can everything else. (The definition and use
of the female body is the paradigm for the definition and use of all things; if the autonomy of the
female body is defined as sacred, then so will be the autonomy of all things.) Patriarchal men
have tried to pretend that males can be "free" while females can be dominated and enslaved; just
as white imperialists have pretended that they can be "independent and soulful" beings in private
life, while publicly colonizing and brutalizing darker peoples.
The most significant thing about this statement of "the first law of matriarchy" is that it is
asserted categorically, without reference to the marriage contract. It assumes without even
bothering to assert it, that marriage confers no rights on husbands. It must be obvious to most
men--though it is clearly not obvious to these women--that this female sexual autonomy rules out
the possibility of using the family as a system for motivating males. Such is the state of things
said (correctly) by Sjoo and Mor to have existed prior to the creation of patriarchy a few
thousand years ago, and such is again becoming the state of things as patriarchy melts away. It
was to prevent this state of things that patriarchy was created, a central feature of it being
society's guarantee of the Legitimacy Principle--every child must have a father. The present
situation, which has created the Garbage Generation, results from society's delinquency in
refusing to implement this guarantee.
"It would not be far-fetched," writes Evelyn Ackworth, "to describe the whole conception
of the Welfare State as a matriarchal approach to a problem of social life." Exactly. The Welfare
State has teamed with the feminist/sexual revolution to replace the patriarchal family with the
older matrilineal unit. The ghettos provide the textbook example:
Now here's how it is [writes black feminist Patricia Robinson]. Poor black men won't
support their families, won't stick by their women--all they think about is the street, dope and
liquor, women, a piece of ass, and their cars. That's all that counts. Poor black women would be
fools to sit up in the house with a whole lot of children and eventually go crazy, sick,
heartbroken, no place to go, no sign of affection--nothing.
Ms. Robinson's complaint is that men won't love, honor and protect their families--which
is patriarchy. She cannot see that the first law of matriarchy has deprived these men of families
and therefore of the motivation which would keep them working. When Othello becomes
convinced of his wife's unchastity he bids farewell to his profession: "Othello's occupation's
gone!"
Here's an example of how the Promiscuity Principle [identical with the first law of
matriarchy] works, from Ann Landers' advice column in the Los Angeles Times of l November,
1988:
DEAR ANN: I'm writing this letter in the hope that you can help me. You have access to
the best doctors and I am ashamed to talk to anybody I know.
I recently had a baby but I don't know who the father is. She looks like me. I had sex with
Guy No. 1 on May 7, Guy No. 2 on May 14 and 15 and Guy No. 3 on May 27. I had my
last period on May 1.
I never had any problem with my pregnancy and the baby came right on my due date,
which was Feb. 7. She is adorable and I don't regret having her, but I would sure like to
know who the father is.
My friends tell me I'm entitled to support money but I can't bring a guy into court unless
I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about. Thanks for your help, Ann.
The Promiscuity Principle entitles her to paternity suit income. It is her right to control
her own sexual behavior--including the right not to use contraceptives--and to impose the
economic costs upon one of her sex partners--if the District Attorney can round up her
playmates, compel them to take blood tests, and identify the lucky one. Then her sexual
irresponsibility will pay off and reinforce society's acceptance of the first law of matriarchy,
otherwise known as the Promiscuity Principle. The identified boyfriend will be reduced to years
of involuntary servitude for the benefit of another person--slavery.
The feminist will insist that the boyfriend is equally responsible with the mother for the
procreation of the illegitimate child and therefore equally bound to pay for its costs. Not so in the
patriarchal system. Patriarchy divides women into good and bad, those who accept the Sexual
Constitution (sexual law-and-order, monogamy, the Legitimacy Principle, the double standard,
etc.) and those who reject it. This woman rejects it, and she is "bad" because she denies to a man
the possibility of having responsible sex with her even if he wants to. Her unchastity deprives her
child of a father and deprives men of the possibility of being a father to her children. She can
have a sexual relationship only with a man as irresponsible as herself. She is a sexual Typhoid
Mary who has inflicted illegitimacy upon a child and seeks to ameliorate what she has done by
demanding to be paid for it. She will plead as justification that "there is no such thing as an
illegitimate child," signifying there is no such thing as an unchaste woman.
Ramsey Clark assures us that "Women are not a threat to the public." This woman is. She
has procreated a fatherless child several times more likely to become a delinquent. If the courts
adopt the proposals of Senator Moynihan and Professor Barbara Bergmann and other feminists
to garnish the paycheck of her child's father, he will become a less employable, less motivated,
less marriageable, less productive member of society. He may drop out of the
taxable/garnishable economy altogether and enter the underground economy, or become parasitic
upon a female AFDC recipient--the pattern found in millions of ghetto households. The program
for making men economically responsible for procreation outside of the Sexual Constitution has
the effect of making them irresponsible within it. (Also it doesn't work--most men will evade its
sanctions.)
The workability of the patriarchal system requires the regulation of female sexuality,
including the enforcing of the double standard. In no other way can men participate meaningfully
in reproduction. A woman violates the Sexual Constitution by being promiscuous. A man
violates it by refusing to provide for his family. The new feminist sexual order proposes that
women shall be free to be promiscuous and that the social disruption thereby created shall be
made tolerable by compelling men to provide for non-families. But men cannot be held
responsible for female irresponsibility if this irresponsibility prevents them from having families
to begin with; and it is for this reason that patriarchy holds a man responsible only for the
subsidization of a wife, a "good" woman who accepts the Sexual Constitution and her obligation
under it to bear only legitimate children. The historical development of this arrangement in the
second millennium B. C. is thus described by Dr. Gerda Lerner:
The more important point is the upgrading of the role of men as fathers--which is to say
the strengthening of the family's weakest link, the father's role, which depends in turn upon "the
strict regulation of women's sexuality" which today's feminists seek to get rid of. The "time of
state formation" [read: the creation of civilization] was the time which stressed the family as the
basic unit of society, just as today's social and sexual anarchy is the time which stresses women's
desire to wreck the family and return to "beena marriage,...a form of marriage which allows the
woman greater autonomy and which makes divorce easier for her." This is the arrangement Ann
Landers' correspondent is interested in, one with sexual freedom and no responsibilities-- plus
the advantage of having bill-paying men around as long as they behave themselves and accept
second class status.
"The various laws against rape," says Dr. Lerner, "all incorporated the principle that the
injured party is the husband or the father of the raped woman." Feminists think this is
outrageous. What it signifies is that the protection of female chastity is normally the function of
the husband or the father--in contrast to the feminist Promiscuity Principle which declares that a
woman's reproductive life is entirely her own business. The ancient Mesopotamian and Hebrew
societies Dr. Lerner refers to stipulated that the law would interfere when the husband or father
could not handle his own family matters, and when he delegated the responsibility to the state.
The underlying difference of opinion between the feminist view and the
Mesopotamian/Hebrew/patriarchal view is whether society should be understood as composed of
families or of individuals. Those who today believe the latter might be asked whether sexual
behavior is better regulated in the ghettos on the basis of the Promiscuity Principle than it was in
the Kingdom of Hammurabi on the basis of the Legitimacy Principle. The Legitimacy Principle
can only operate if its implementation is in the hands of men who conceive of it as operating to
preserve their families and their meaningful role within them. It is the purpose of feminism to
deny men this role.
Nothing has changed in four thousand years. In ancient Mesopotamia, as in the United
States today, women were more concerned with maintaining their sexual autonomy, men more
concerned with maintaining the integrity of families, and per corollary the regulation of female
chastity upon which the family depends. What Hammurabi's legislation shows is what
contemporary lawmakers fail to see--that the Sexual Constitution is a male creation and must be
supported by males. Men, not women, are the ultimate guardians of morality; and while men
may delegate the responsibility to women (as in the Victorian age), when women subvert the
moral order, men must reassert their responsibility to restore it.
correctly inferred it to be a survival from a prefamily period when, as some put it,
"fathers were unknown." They reasoned that cases where kinship ties and the line of
descent passed through the mothers, without recognizing fathers, were evidence that the
matriclan had existed before the father- family. The matrikinship system persists up to
our times in many primitive regions, even where fathers have become known.
This persistence is, of course, the chief reason why these regions are primitive.
Jamaica is a another textbook case. "Many Jamaican women live alone," says Honor Ford
Smith, artistic director of Sistren, a women's cultural organization there.
When I say alone, what I mean is live without a man. It's often one woman with a lot of
children in the house. But unlike many societies there has been a tradition of women being able
to live without men and without living within the bosom of the extended family. So that there's
been a tradition of independent women living on their own, but the price that traditionally
women have paid for that is that they then have to become the sole supporters of their
children....But it brings with it certain benefits in the sense that unlike in the Middle East, or say
Asia, some other countries, it's possible to not be ostracized for having many sexual partners, it's
possible to live a little independently, to dress in certain ways, to move differently than has been
traditionally possible in European or Asian societies.
Jamaican women practice the first law of matriarchy and thereby deny a meaningful role
to males, many of whom become anti- social:
The situation of women has gotten worse in many ways. If you look at some of
the so-called traditional indicators of progress, which is employment, etc., the situation of
women hasn't gotten any better. It's got worse....In terms of the streets, in times gone by,
in days of yore, women controlled the streets. Now the streets is not a woman's domain.
Violence of Jamaican society which is virtually taken for granted by everybody. I myself
am looking for a place to live with grills [iron bars over the windows for security]
everywhere at the moment....For a lot of women it is a matter of you can't go out of the
house after six o'clock, you must get home before dark, if you go to the theatre they have
a special six o'clock matinee which is almost completely attended by women because that
is the time when they have to go out. So that is a situation which has gotten much worse,
too....Of course the level of sexual violence has increased so much that now the streets
are not the domain of women, certainly the docks aren't.
The violence is male violence, a fact heavily emphasized in feminist propaganda, which
calls it patriarchal violence. But these violent males are not patriarchs; they are exiles from the
patriarchal system, males denied a meaningful role by the first law of matriarchy. "The role of
the male," says George Gilder, "is the Achilles' heel of civilized society....The man still needs to
be tamed." The man's violence needs to be tamed, no doubt, so that his energies may channeled
into a useful direction rather than becoming destructive. But the taming and channeling are
impossible without a meaningful male role; and since the first law of matriarchy denies men that
meaningful role, the female is as much in need of taming as the male.
According to Carl Williams, head of California's Workfare program, the unmarried teen-
age motherhood resulting from the first law of matriarchy burdens the welfare system and
contributes to illiteracy. 60 percent of California women under 30 who are now on public
assistance began receiving welfare as teen-agers. 57 percent of them cannot read, write, add or
subtract well enough to get a job or train for one.
The males procreated by these sexually liberated females, males exploited in feminist
propaganda as illustrating male anti- sociality, could better be used as illustrations of female
socialization. A survey of 108 rapists undertaken by Raymond A. Knight and Robert A. Prentky,
revealed that 60 percent came from female-headed homes, that 70 percent of those describable as
"violent" came from female-headed homes, that 80 percent of those motivated by "displaced
anger" came from female-headed homes.
The first law of matriarchy implies the right of one woman to undermine the marriage of
another woman. According to Laurel Richardson, a Professor of Sociology at Ohio State
University, many liberated professional women prefer affairs with married men-- they're less
time-consuming. Unfortunately for them, however, they usually get so involved that they "lose
control" over the relationships, which "end up benefiting the men more than the women," surely
no part of any feminist's intention.
The first law of matriarchy is good for the abortion business. It is projected that 46
percent of today's teen-age girls will have had an abortion by the age of 45.
Thanks to the first law of matriarchy, births out of wedlock have increased more than 450
percent in thirty years, with obvious consequences for the welfare system. According to Gary L.
Bauer,
We know that women who receive Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC)
benefits when they are less than 25 years old remain dependent on AFDC for long periods of
time. In fact, 70 percent received AFDC for at least five years; more than one-third got it for at
least 10 years.
Raised in an environment in which fathers don't provide for their young and dependency
on government is assumed, few children will develop the skills of self-sufficiency, or even the
concept of personal responsibility. Young men will not strive to be good providers and young
women will not expect it of their men. Family breakdown becomes cyclical, out-of- wedlock
births become cyclical, poverty and dependence becomes cyclical. And the culture of poverty
grows.
For the young woman who is not pregnant, "enabling" means she does not ask,
"Do I want a welfare check badly enough to get pregnant?" but rather, "If I happen to get
pregnant, will the consequences really be so bad?"
The existence of an extensive welfare system permits the woman to put less pressure on
the man to behave responsibly, which facilitates irresponsible behavior on his part, which in turn
leads the woman to put less reliance on the man, which exacerbates his sense of superfluity and
his search for alternative definitions of manliness.
The pattern is not confined to the lower orders. It underlies equally the reluctance of
educated men to marry educated women, producing feminist complaints about the refusal of
males to make stable and reliable commitments to women. The same male reluctance underlay
the flurry of panicky articles appearing in 1986 on the subject of the "marriage crunch," the
unmarriageability of educated women in their thirties. These educated women enjoy the
freedoms, economic and sexual, coveted for them by the feminist movement, but they find
themselves (as men too find themselves) without marriages and families. At the time, feminist
Georgie Anne Geyer wrote a piece under the title "'Why Don't You Get Married?': Shorthand for
Curbing Woman's Function." Ms. Geyer describes herself as enraged by the pressures put on
women to marry:
We are talking here about woman as function. We are talking here about fulfilling others'
ideas about what one should be fitted for and for what one exists. Worse, we are talking here not
about love, faith or goodness, but about fitting into the structures that others decide for you. We
are talking about control.
To put it frankly, this kind of "concern" about one's chances at marriage is about ways of
controlling women.
Marriage can be one kind of love, and at best it certainly is one of the two or three
greatest kinds. But when dealt with in terms of controlling a woman, it becomes the antithesis of
love and fulfillment.
Controlling a woman, she says. But the man equally submits to control; and one of the
persistent demands of feminists is that the woman's emancipation from control by divorce shall
not emancipate the man, but obligate him to make her "independent" of him by giving her
alimony and child support money. The statistics on the unmarriageability of educated and
economically independent women are factual. Ms. Geyer resents them because they suggest the
advisability of women accepting a degree of sexual regulation. She wants female behavior
thought of "in positive and freeing terms rather than in negative and controlling terms." One
might describe a train which jumps its tracks as behaving in a "positive and freeing" way and a
train which remains on the tracks as behaving in a "negative and controlling" way. The feminist
would respond that women are not machines, but the comparison will stand for all that. Women
(and men) require socialization as much as trains require rails if they are to avoid catastrophe.
Controlling women (and men) is not the "antithesis" but the precondition of "love and
fulfillment" as well as of social stability and civilization.
Let's consider a specific case. Brandon Tholmer, 29, killer of four women, suspected
killer of eight others. Tholmer is illegitimate, but that's OK, because, as Ms. Phyllis Chesler says,
"every child has the right to be wanted." It doesn't occur to Ms. Chesler that the best way of
insuring this right is for him to have a father who would want him, protect him and provide for
him. Anyway, Tholmer's Mom practices the first law of matriarchy and her kid is a killer. The
jury which convicts him takes only an hour to decide that he should not go to the gas chamber,
because of his "upbringing." According to a juror "there was nobody who took any interest in
him. He had suffered most of his life." He came from a broken home and from the age of 8 was
kicked out into the street at night. At age 11, he was put in a juvenile detention home by Mom,
later sent to a state industrial school for stealing and loitering. He is "borderline retarded," a
convicted mentally disordered sex offender, a rapist, a sodomite, an arsonist, a burglar. Blaming
his "upbringing" signifies that the blame lies elsewhere, as indeed it does--with the acceptance by
Tholmer's Mom and by society of the first law of matriarchy.
Another case. Dean Philip Carter is convicted of killing three women and suspected of
killing two others. The evidence against him is overwhelming and his attorneys don't even try to
refute it:
Relying instead [says the Los Angeles Times of 29 January, 1990] on an attempt to save
him from the death penalty, defense attorney Howard Gillingham called 21 witnesses to
testify about Carter's troubled childhood.
21 witnesses show that he had a troubled childhood and therefore is less culpable. Quite
so. But who, then, is culpable for having inflicted the troubled childhood upon him? Part of the
answer is to be inferred from the Los Angeles Times' assertion that Carter was "born the
illegitimate son of a half-Eskimo woman in Nome, Alaska, on Aug. 30, 1955." Mom accepted
the Promiscuity Principle and exercised her right to impose illegitimacy upon her boy, which
placed him at greater risk of becoming a criminal, as the documentation given in the Annex to
Chapter I shows.
Another case. Arlene W. of Wisconsin. "In the summer of 1977," writes feminist Phyllis
Chesler, "Arlene W. met Red E. Early in 1978 Arlene became pregnant." Patriarchal
socialization would have taught Arlene the importance of pre-nuptial chastity and would have
prevented the tragedy which now unfolds. But patriarchal socialization is made inoperative by
the first law of matriarchy.
Early in 1979, Red's paternity was established by the Welfare Department....Visitation
was allowed....Red was physically abusive to both Arlene and [their daughter] Andrea during
several visits. Arlene decided to refuse further visitation.
In the fall of 1980, Red legally demanded overnight visitation twice monthly. Judge John
E. McCormick told Arlene to "give a man a second chance." He ordered visitation for one
weekend day and one half weekday. Visitation began. At this point, Andrea started "acting out"
behavior: aggressive hitting, crying, clinging, not sleeping, wetting herself, vomiting. Andrea
complained of being hit by her father--and marks were detectable....The hospital report
concluded that Andrea had been sexually abused....Arlene fled Wisconsin to her brother's home
in the state of Washington....Police arrived with a warrant for Arlene's arrest. They separated her
from her daughter, denied her bail and the use of the telephone, and jailed her for four
days....Feminists, ministers, psychiatrists, incest victims, experts, academics, jurists, the
department of social services--all launched a campaign against Arlene's extradition. Arlene's
unedited "Chronology of Events" documents the profound isolation and vulnerability of a
battered, unwed, and welfare dependent mother who has discovered paternal incest, and the
state's absolute refusal to believe or assist her.
What the events document is the importance of not being an unwed mother. They also
document the damage inflicted upon Arlene and Andrea by the first law of matriarchy and the
incapacity of the legal system to patch up the mess created by Arlene's and Red's unchastity.
Arlene is represented throughout Ms. Chesler's account as a victim. In fact she created her own
miseries and those of her daughter.
The enforcing of the patriarchal sexual constitution in 1978 would have guaranteed, not
infringed Arlene's autonomy, would have clarified her responsibility for the consequences of her
sexual behavior--those she later tried (with the help of Ms. Chesler, and the feminists, ministers,
psychiatrists, etc.) to blame society for. The whole thrust of Ms. Chesler's argument is that
society should bail her out, thus legitimizing her unchastity in 1978. Little Andrea, whose life
has been blighted by her mother's irresponsibility in disregarding the Legitimacy Principle, is put
on display and her sufferings lamented in order to assist Ms. Chesler's program to further
undermine the sexual constitution and the Legitimacy Principle and to promote more single
motherhood, more feminism, more Andreas.
Ms. Chesler's point that the legal system is incompetent to do much for Arlene and
Andrea is valid enough; but she chooses not to see how the mess she describes is created not by
patriarchy but by the failure of patriarchy to regulate Arlene's behavior in 1978--by society's
acquiescence in the first law of matriarchy.
The pattern being promoted by feminism is well summarized by a recent Canadian study
of female offenders:
Among its findings in a survey of 100 women arrested, the majority had early
sexual involvements, with over 40 percent reporting their first intercourse to have
occurred between the ages of 10 and 15. Two thirds had children, but almost as many had
never been married, and less than one in 10 was married at the time of her arrest. The
majority, then, were single or divorced mothers. Most came from broken homes, with 73
percent of the women reporting problems such as one parent being absent all the time,
divorce, foster homes, alcohol problems and child abuse. Mentally disturbed parents were
common--indeed, female criminals had psychiatric problems in their immediate family
twice as often as did male criminals. The authors speculate that "for women to break out
of the traditional female role of compliance and passivity and become criminal they have
to be products of a more disturbed background."
In response to suggestions that the feminist movement has brought "a new era of
emancipated female offenders showing some of the same patterns as male offenders," the authors
acknowledge many similarities. For example, about the same percentage of female criminals
commit violent offenses as do males (although "women's victims more so than men's have
trouble defending themselves--for example, children, intoxicated, asleep, infirm").
The authors resist describing women criminals as "emancipated," but what their study
does describe--sexual promiscuity, divorce, women who act increasingly like men--are familiar
results of the sexual revolution.
The problems created by the first law of matriarchy were predictable--female promiscuity
and illegitimacy, male rolelessness and anti-sociality. With more illegitimacy, come more second
generation crime, more educational failure, more demoralization, less motivation, less
productivity, reduced self- esteem, less commitment to the future as evidenced by reduced
accumulation of stabilizing (and garnishable) assets such as real estate, annuities, pensions, stock
portfolios, savings accounts, insurance. More sexual confusion, more hedonism, more infantilism
(of which non-commitment is a variety), more emotional shallowness. And, of course, in
consequence of all of these, more family breakdown, more family non-formation, more demands
for freebies from the government's Backup System (welfare, day care, workfare, wage-
garnishment as a means of financing families--with the consequence of yet further fear of
commitment to family living). And so on, without end, each attempt by the Backup System to
patch up the mess created by family breakdown working to further undermine the male role, and
with it the family.
"If women were really people," wrote Ms. Friedan in 1973, "-- no more, no less--then all
the things that kept them from being full people in our society would have to be changed." "Full"
means something like "without sex-role socialization." Along with the abandoning of this
socialization for girls, there has been a complementary abandoning of the sex role socialization
of boys. The results can be witnessed by anyone who takes a stroll across one of today's high
school campuses. Such a stroll reveals that a majority of girls have become shallow, sassy tarts, a
majority of boys little better than slobs with little self-discipline, little frustration-tolerance, little
character, little inner-direction. Back in 1963, when Ms. Friedan unleashed feminism upon us
with her book The Feminine Mystique, she said that her ideas "may disturb the experts and
women alike, for they imply social change." The change has gone on long enough to permit an
evaluation. Are women happier? Are men? Are children better mannered, better socialized? Is
there more premarital sexual activity? More venereal disease? More single motherhood? More
shacking-up? More adultery? Is the family more stable? Is educational performance superior to
what it was in the early 1960s? (Remember that the original "new life plan for women" was a
program of education.) Are there fewer school dropouts? Is the level of public debate more
civilized, more mature? Are better young people choosing teaching as a career and providing
youth with better instruction and better role models? Are the streets safer? Do the media reflect a
growing refinement of taste and morality? Are more or fewer women living in poverty? In
substance abuse? Are the relationships between the sexes more refined and civilized or more
cynical, trivial and exploitive? Is there more or less cheating in classrooms, business
relationships and tax forms and everywhere else? Have the costs of welfare, police and
government increased or decreased? Do we get more or less in services for our tax dollar? Is
there more or less trash deposited on our beaches? Are public parks more or less inviting places
of recreation? Does the legal profession eat up more or less of our earnings? Is service more or
less courteous than it was a quarter of a century ago? Social change indeed. There is no area in
which the undermining of sex role socialization has not been disastrous.
Here is the way today's women are coming to perceive their responsibilities towards
society and society's responsibilities to them. The speaker is Byllye Avery, Director of the
National Black Women's Health Project: "I have a right to life, to a house, education, job, food, a
good, high quality standard of living, and a right to control my reproduction." This is the fruition
of Ms. Friedan's program to make women stand on their own feet--and make demands upon
others.
where women already feel the autonomy I am imagining for Western women in the
future. For Americans, North and South, there is an alternative model for women close at
hand, in the Native American communities....It doesn't take many encounters with
women tribal leaders who have the quiet confidence of centuries of traditional knowledge
behind them to realize that here are a set of teachers for European-stock American
women right in our midst. Where does their serenity and self- confidence come from?
What do they "know"?...This is a time for the rest of us, especially middle-class Western
women, to "go to school" to those of our sisters who have the unacknowledged skills, the
confidence, the serenity, and the knowledge required for creative social change.
These Stone Age women, despite their squalor, ignorance and poverty, are contented.
They fill the biological role of the mammalian female, heading the reproductive unit, enjoying
the liberty of the first law of matriarchy. And today's feminists are coming to share their
tranquility and placidity. They are, as Helen Fisher says, "moving towards the kind of roles they
had on the grasslands of Africa millions of years ago....Human society is now discovering its
ancient roots." As Betty Friedan puts it,
For my generation and the generation that followed, the battle for women's rights
came in the middle of life--after we'd started our families and were already living the
feminine mystique. For us, the feminist movement meant the marvelous midlife
discovery of a whole new identity, a new sense of self. The most notable result of this
newfound identity was a dramatic improvement in the mental health of older
women....Two decades ago mental hospitals were full of women suffering from
involutional melancholia, a severe depression that afflicted women at the time of
menopause when, according to the old feminine mystique, their life was over. But a few
years ago the American Psychiatric Association stopped using the term because such
acute depression was no longer considered age related.
Today the mental health of women in their 40s, 50s and 60s is as good as that of women
in their 20s and 30s. No such improvement has occurred in men, so it really is related to the
women's movement toward equality.
No such improvement has occurred in men because men have had to pay the costs. Men
in the larger society are being ground down to the status of the men on Indian reservations--
roleless, unmotivated, alcoholic and suicidal, because the first law of matriarchy deprives them
of a stable family role.
It was the discovery a few thousand years ago of this connection between the regulation
of female sexuality on the one hand and family and social stability, male productivity and social
progress on the other which ended the Stone Age and began the era of patriarchal civilization.
"Patriarchy's age," says lesbian- feminist Susan Cavin, "is approximately 3,000-5,000 years old.
Compared to the millions of years human ancestors have populated the earth, patriarchy
represents only a dot of human time." True. The fact shows that the creation of patriarchy is the
greatest of human achievements, since each and every one of the other achievements of
civilization came into existence during that dot of time, whereas the preceding millions of years
created none of them. Patriarchy, says Adrienne Rich, "is the one system which recorded
civilization has never actively challenged." That is because without patriarchy there can be no
recorded (or unrecorded) civilization. The central fact about patriarchal civilization, besides its
recency and the magnitude of its accomplishments, is its artificiality and fragility, its dependence
on women's willingness to submit to sexual regulation. Women's de-regulation of themselves by
achieving economic and sexual independence can wreck the system. The ghettos show how
easily this can happen. The wrecking of the system is rapidly spreading from the ghettos to the
larger society, where the legal system has become patriarchy's chief enemy, expelling half of
society's fathers from their homes.
Dr. Gerda Lerner describes how sexual regulation was imposed on women in ancient
Mesopotamia, during the era in which the patriarchal system was being developed: "While the
wife enjoyed considerable and specified rights in marriage, she was sexually the man's property."
Her rights and her status depended upon her acceptance of the patriarchal system--and vice
versa, the system depended upon her acceptance of regulation. "In Mesopotamian law, and even
more strongly in Hebrew law," continues Dr. Lerner, "all women are increasingly under sexual
dominance and regulation....The strict obligations by husbands and sons toward mothers and
wives in Hammurabic and Hebrew law can thus be seen as strengthening the patriarchal family,
which depends on the willing cooperation of wives in a system which offers them class
advantages in exchange for their subordination in sexual matters."
Providing for a woman and placing her "under coverture" in the honorable state of
marriage is perceived by today's feminists in wholly negative terms as dominance, regulation and
oppression. Feminist Dr. Alice Rossi speaks of "an exchange" between a husband and a wife in
which the husband confers social status on the wife and "in exchange...she assumes economic
dependence on him"--permits him to pay her bills. It doesn't occur to feminists that "their
subordination in sexual matters" benefits women as much as it benefits men. It means law-and-
order in the sexual realm and the creation of wealth in the economic realm. It means stable
families which provide women with security and status and in which children can be decently
reared and socialized.
As will be explained in detail in Chapter VII, Dr. Lerner's and Dr. Rossi's view of sexual
law-and-order as something imposed by males is the opposite of George Gilder's. Gilder
imagines that women have a primal yearning to impose sexual law-and-order on men and that
civilization depends on men submitting themselves to women's higher ethic:
She is the vessel of the ultimate values of the nation. The community is largely what she
is and what she demands in men.
While Dr. Lerner is oblivious to the advantages for women of this patriarchal law-and-
order, she is correct in insisting that the law-and-order is a male idea. In discussing the Garden of
Eden story she writes:
[T]he consequences of Adam and Eve's transgression fall with uneven weight
upon the woman. The consequence of sexual knowledge is to sever female sexuality from
procreation. God puts enmity between the snake and the woman (Gen. 3:15). In the
historical context of the times of the writing of Genesis, the snake was clearly associated
with the fertility goddess and symbolically represented her. Thus, by God's command, the
free and open sexuality of the fertility-goddess was to be forbidden to fallen woman. The
way her sexuality was to find expression was in motherhood.
It is significant that a feminist like Dr. Lerner perceives "female sexuality" as female
promiscuity. On page 198, she has this:
To the question "Who brought sin and death into the world?" Genesis answers, "Woman,
in her alliance with the snake, which stands for free female sexuality." [Emphasis added]
The Biblical view is not that "female sexuality" is severed from procreation but that it is
joined to it, in other words that it must be regulated in accordance with the patriarchal Sexual
Constitution which Gilder imagines as something which women try to impose on men, but which
Genesis and Dr. Lerner more plausibly see as something men impose on women.
Dr. Lerner affects to believe (perhaps does believe) that sexual promiscuity signifies high
status for women:
Further, women [in the Ancient Near East] seemed to have greatly different status
in different aspects of their lives, so that, for example, in Babylon in the second
millennium B.C. women's sexuality was totally controlled by men, while some women
enjoyed great economic independence, many legal rights and privileges and held many
important high status positions in society. I was puzzled to find that the historical
evidence pertaining to women made little sense, when judged by traditional criteria. After
a while I began to see that I needed to focus more on the control of women's sexuality
and procreativity than on the usual economic questions, so I began to look for the causes
and effects of such sexual control.
Her views, paralleling those of promiscuity chic movie actresses and other anti-
patriarchal groupies, are antithetical to those of Gilder. Much of the feminist struggle is one to
displace the feminine mystique "image" of the weakly virtuous patriarchy- accepting doll-wife
abominated by Betty Friedan (and lauded by George Gilder) by the image of a defiantly
promiscuous hell-raiser who will destroy the patriarchy by re-instituting the first law of
matriarchy.
"The sexual control of women," says Dr. Lerner, "has been an essential feature of
patriarchal power. The sexual regulation of women underlies the formation of classes and is one
of the foundations upon which the state rests." Quite so. If you doubt it, ask yourself what kind
of a state we will have when it is populated, as it is coming to be, by the fatherless offspring of
today's promiscuous females--when the feminists on the campuses of our schools and colleges
have convinced young women that the traditional patriarchal attempts to regulate their
reproduction by imposing chastity and modesty upon them are a sexist plot to contravene the
first law of matriarchy. The kind of state we will have is indicated by the evidence given in
Chapter I, showing the high correlation between female-headed families and social pathology.
"The state," continues Dr. Lerner, during the process of the establishment of written law codes,
increased the property rights of upper-class women, while it circumscribed their sexual rights
and finally totally eroded them.
By their "sexual rights" she means not their right to be loved, honored and protected
under coverture, not their right to enter into a stable and binding--and highly advantageous--
contract to share their reproductive life with a man, but their right to be promiscuous, and
therefore of no value to a man interested in having a family rather than a one-night stand. She
does not even consider (what Gilder supposes to be self-evident) that many women covet the
right to have a stable monogamous marriage, and thereby acquire the economic and emotional
security and the status which the patriarchy offers women in exchange for allowing men a
meaningful reproductive role--the right to be decently socialized in childhood, the right to the
high status patriarchy confers upon "good" women.
"Their sexual and reproductive capacities," continues Dr. Lerner, "were commodified,
traded, leased, or sold in the interest of male family members." What is the alternative? To have
men not interested in stable family arrangements--to leave these arrangements instead to female
improvisation of the sort found in the ghettos and on Indian reservations?
The Code of Hammurabi [continues Dr. Lerner] marks the beginning of the
institutionalization of the patriarchal family as an aspect of state power. It reflects a class society
in which women's status depended on the male family head's social status and property. The wife
of an impoverished burgher could by a change of his status, without her volition or action, be
turned from a respectable woman into a debt slave or a prostitute. On the other hand, a married
woman's sexual behavior, such as adultery or an unmarried woman's loss of chastity, could
declass her in a way in which no man could be declassed by his sexual activity.
Her status depended upon his status. Therefore she was motivated to make him achieve
high status. And the success of the system in generating male overachievers who create wealth,
social stability and progress--all beneficial to women--proves the arrangement to be desirable.
Women would not have accepted it unless its benefits were greater than those offered by
matriarchy. The wife of an impoverished burgher could have been de-classed by her husband's
behavior, but she chose to be his wife because through marriage her status and income were
more likely to be raised than lowered. This is the way the patriarchal system works, and it
benefits everyone. It gives men motivation, makes them productive and thus helps their wives
and children. It puts sex to work as a motivator, focusing on long-term (family) arrangements
rather than on short term sexuality--promiscuity, the first law of matriarchy. "Society asks so
little of women," says Betty Friedan. But that little must include the chastity and loyalty which
makes patriarchal fatherhood and legitimate children possible.
"When Nigerian Muslim communities get richer through development," writes feminist
sociologist Caroline Knowles, "women are increasingly confined in the home." Is it not the other
way round--that when women are increasingly confined to the home, the communities get richer
because more stable families are better motivators of male achievement?
There exists a woman's organization called Single Mothers by Choice but there exists no
comparable men's organization called Single Fathers by Choice. A man must choose to marry if
he wants children. Only a woman can choose to be a single parent--but for every woman who
makes that choice there exists a man who is denied the choice of marriage and family, and
therefore patriarchal society must deter single women from choosing parenthood. If women were
to become economically independent (as feminism wishes them to be) and if the feminist
principle becomes accepted that "there is no such thing as an illegitimate child," then men have
no bargaining power, no way of inducing women to enter a stable marriage (though they may be
willing to enter an unstable one as long as, following divorce, they have assurance of custody of
the children accompanied by economic advantages). Under such conditions society becomes a
matriarchal ghetto. "Woman, in precivilized society," writes Dr. Lerner, "must have been man's
equal and may well have felt herself to be his superior." Her superiority (which made males idle
drones) is why it was "precivilized"--and why precivilization lasted a million years. Her
superiority is why Elise Boulding holds up the squaws on Indian reservations as models for
American middle-class women. Her superiority is why women would not be altogether reluctant
to return to precivilization, why feminists like Mary Daly declare that "society is a male creation
and serves male interests" and that "sisterhood means revolution," why Freud thought that
woman was the enemy of civilization, why feminists like Adrienne Rich insist that patriarchal
civilization has been imposed upon women over "an enormous potential counterforce."
"In some places like Dahomey and among the Tlinkits of Alaska," writes feminist
Marilyn French, "wealthy classes are patrilineal while poorer classes are matrilineal." Let's put
this the other way round: the patrilineal classes are wealthy-- because their males are motivated
to provide for stable families; the matrilineal classes are poor because their males are not. As she
adds on the following page, "In matrilineal societies there are more sexually integrated activities
and more sexual freedom for women." That is why they are poorer. Savage women and feminists
want marriage to be unstable in order that they may point to its instability not only as
justification for the first law of matriarchy but as proving the necessity for women to be
subsidized by non-family arrangements which do not impose sexual law-and-order upon them.
That the subsidization they demand must be paid for by taxing the shrinking numbers of
patriarchal families who do submit to sexual law-and-order is no concern of theirs--except as it
further undermines the patriarchy, which (they think) is good. Men stabilize marriage by creating
wealth. According to Emily Hahn, "Necessity, as well as instinct, sends the ladies pell-mell to
the altar; it is only the secondary things, social pressure of conscience, that send the men." (What
sends the men is the desire to have families--which is not secondary, but never mind that.) What
Ms. Hahn is acknowledging is that with women the economic motive is primary. Feminist
Barbara Ehrenreich agrees:
Women were, and to a large extent still are, economically dependent on men....So what
was at stake for women in the battle of the sexes was, crudely put, a claim on some man's wage.
The fact that, in a purely economic sense, women need men more than the other way
round, gives marriage an inherent instability that predates the sexual revolution, the revival of
feminism, the "me generation" or other well-worn explanations for what has come to be known
as the "breakdown of the family."
(The instability does not predate the feminist/sexual revolution but is a principal
consequence of this revolution.)
It is, in retrospect [continues Ms. Ehrenreich], frightening to think how much of our sense
of social order and continuity has depended on the willingness of men to succumb in the battle of
the sexes: to marry, to become wage-earners and to reliably share their wages with their
dependents.
(A man formerly--in the days of stable marriage contracts--did not "succumb"; he entered
into what he believed to be a binding agreement which promised him the satisfactions of
marriage and the right of procreating legitimate and inalienable offspring. It is the invalidating of
these expectations which has turned men off from marriage or made them enter into it with the
shallow commitment of which Ms. Ehrenreich complains.)
She continues:
In fact, most of us require more comforting alternative descriptions of the bond between
men and women. We romanticize it, as in the popular song lyrics of the fifties where love
was an adventure culminating either in matrimony or premature death. Or we convince
ourselves that there is really a fair and equal exchange at work so that the wages men
offer to women are more than compensated for by the services women offer to men. Any
other conclusion would be a grave embarrassment to both sexes. Women do not like to
admit to a disproportionate dependence, just as men do not like to admit that they may
have been conned into undertaking what one cynical male called "the lifelong support of
the female unemployed."
She shows that it is the man's paycheck which holds marriage together, and then she,
most illogically, describes this paycheck as something causing instability. The least stable
marriages are those in which the husband fails to earn the paycheck and those in which the wife
earns a large enough paycheck to make her economically independent of the husband. "In the
overwhelming majority of households today," says Lynne Segal, "men are no longer the sole
breadwinners, and as their economic power has declined, domestic conflict and strain have
increased...." Segal regards it as self-evidently good that women should shake off male controls
and that the relative decline in men's economic power facilitates this shaking-off. She speaks for
most women. Besides economic emancipation, there is an emancipation from traditional mores.
The increase in illegitimate births among white teenagers from 6.6 percent in 1955 to 40 percent
today follows from the removal of the controls (shame, guilt, etc.) which feminists have been
working to remove, and their replacement by "a woman's right to control her own sexuality."
Popular songs such as "Papa, Don't Preach" and "Thanks for My Child" illustrate the
failure to comprehend the Legitimacy Principle as essential to the working of the patriarchal
system. Mrs. E. M. Anderson of Compton's Teen Mothers Program comments thus concerning
the message of "Thanks for My Child," dealing with the woes (but also the noble inner strength)
of a poor female who meets the father of her child four years after it is born:
These guys [i.e., the unwed fathers] are dumb--dumb. All they think about is themselves.
Responsibility? Forget it. They cause a lot of pain and are too dumb to care.
"The song," says Mrs. Anderson, "does a service if it exposes the problem of these young
kids getting pregnant out of wedlock by these guys who don't want any part of being fathers." A
better service would be to explain to the dumb guys how they might claim the responsibilities of
fatherhood if they wished to do so. What inducement would she have society offer the guys who
want to be fathers and have families? The larger society offers white males a fifty percent chance
of having and keeping children and a fifty percent chance of losing them to their ex-wives. In the
ghettos society offers virtually nothing to males who accept the responsibilities of fatherhood--
and it attempts to compensate for its failure to provide the props needed by responsible fathers by
showering rewards upon single mothers (non-ghetto and ghetto) in the form of AFDC, food
stamps, subsidized housing, free medical care and the rest.
Besides these material rewards, there are status rewards. According to Jeff Wyatt,
program director of a radio station which plays "Thanks for my Child" every day on the demand
of enthusiastic female listeners,
The message really touches them--the mother-child aspect of it. Women identify with the
woman in the song. Maybe some of them know young ladies who have been in that situation.
Maybe some of them have been in that situation themselves.
The single focuses on the inner strength of black women, which makes it appeal
strongly to black women. I find that it really touches single female parents--or women
with children in general. In the song this woman is saying how much she really loves her
child and that love can carry her through anything.
This is the old "feminine mystique" again--which feminism was created to get rid of.
Women were told by Ms. Friedan to make less of a fuss about their maternal functions ("Don't
you want to be more than an animal?" ) and participate instead in the arena of male achievement.
"Thanks for My Child" reverts to Mom's maternal functions as the true source of woman's glory.
The miserable consequences of female unchastity are celebrated as proving "the inner strength of
black women." And the same wonderful inner strength is illustrated by comparison with the
irresponsibility of the dumb male. The Los Angeles Times article describing the popularity of the
song quotes Wes Hall, dean of students at Compton High School, in the Los Angeles ghetto:
The guys who father these kids have all the excuses for ignoring their responsibilities. If no one
makes the young man see his responsibility, he'll go scot-free and father more kids. The burden
falls on the teen-age girls who are too young to handle it. Maybe this song will get a message to
some of these young men--that what they're doing is very wrong.
The girls are too young to handle it--and therefore they need to be taught what nobody
teaches them, the necessity of chastity and conformity to the Sexual Constitution, the necessity
of rejecting the Promiscuity Principle which tells them they alone have the right to control their
sexuality--without interference from the irresponsible males whom Wes Hall would like to make
responsible but who are discouraged--or prevented--from responsibility by the Promiscuity
Principle which allows females to be mothers while preventing males from being fathers. Instead
of teaching these girls chastity, the song teaches them about their wonderful inner strength
(which nobody would have known about if they hadn't been promiscuous), about the moral
inferiority of the dumb male, equally responsible but lacking their inner strength--as though
unchaste females might protect their virtue by surrounding themselves with chaste Parsifal-like
males. They are taught that there is no such thing as an illegitimate child, that society must not be
judgmental of them, meaning that it must not use shame and guilt to regulate their anti-social
behavior. And so forth. Wes Hall simply refuses to see the fact that males cannot be responsible
heads of families unless society insists upon female chastity and loyalty and implements its
insistence by guaranteeing to males the rewards of family life which justify imposing upon them
the obligations of paternal responsibility. For males to accept the responsibility which Wes Hall
wishes them to accept there must exist some reasonably dependable way for them to assume
responsibility--and there is no way, because promiscuous Moms and society want no part of
them except their paychecks. Here's Edward McNamara, who wants to do what Wes Hall is
urging the young black teenagers to do--accept the responsibilities of fatherhood. The law won't
let him. He has had six court appearances to gain custody of an illegitimate daughter, and, after
giving up on custody, more court appearances to gain visitation rights. According to the Los
Angeles Times, McNamara, 41, maintains that his constitutional rights were violated when San
Diego County social workers--acting at the behest of the baby's mother--placed the girl with an
adoptive family four weeks after her birth.
But in sharp questioning in a high court [U.S. Supreme Court] hearing on the case, the
justices disputed the notion that the U. S. Constitution gives an unwed father rights that outweigh
those of the child.
"Why can't the state of California decide it wants to follow this polity" of acting in the
best interest of the child? asked Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist. State law directs social
workers to consider the child's welfare foremost in custody cases, and the courts have agreed that
McNamara's daughter would be better served in the care of the adopting family.
Justice Sandra Day O'Connor said she wondered why someone who engages "in a so-
called one-night stand" would have a constitutional right to control the fate of the child who
accidentally results from the affair.
The right of "someone" is unquestioned if "someone" is the female who engages in the
one-night stand. And if McNamara were not a participant in a one-night stand but a husband or
ex-husband he would stand little better with the law. According to the Los Angeles Daily News,
In 1976, the Supreme Court ruled that a husband did not have the power to impose an "absolute
veto" over his wife's decision to have an abortion....Women's groups reject out of hand the
argument that men have a right to a legal say in the decision making process...and insist that the
abortion decision should belong solely to the woman.
The point is equally relevant to McNamara and to the black youths scolded by Wes Hall:
Women's [and girls'] refusal to grant men a significant role in reproduction means that they are
denying to themselves the right to make a dependable commitment to bear a husband's children.
The Promiscuity Principle (a woman's right to control her own sexuality) makes women moral
minors who cannot enter into an enforceable contract to share reproduction with a man. A
contract with a woman is worthless if she insists on her right to break it--and has the law on her
side in doing so. No matter what a man does, a promiscuous woman excludes him from
responsible reproduction. It is for this reason that the civilizations of antiquity found it necessary
to divide women into "good" and "bad," those with whom a binding contract of marriage was
possible and those with whom it was not. Only with society's enforcement of the man's rights
under the contract is it possible for him to accept the kind of responsibility Wes Hall wants black
teenage youths to accept. The entire fabric of patriarchal civilization rests upon female chastity.
It would be ridiculous to refer to a man's chastity as his virtue because his unchastity does not
destroy his family and his wife's reproductive role. But a woman's chastity is her virtue because
her unchastity destroys her family and her husband's reproductive role--and civilized society
along with them, because civilized society is built on the patriarchal, nuclear, two-parent family.
Feminist Hazel Henderson writes a piece titled "Thinking Globally, Acting Locally," in
which she complains of "fathers who refuse to pay their child support payments ordered by
courts." In the same column of the same page she rejoices thus over the success of the
sexual/feminist revolution:
Yet the genie will not go back in the bottle--the cultural revolution has already
occurred. Politics only ratifies social change after at least a ten year lag. Even more
terrifying for the old patriarchs and their female dupes is the knowledge that the whole
culture is "up for grabs." For example, it could shift fundamentally in less than a
generation IF women simply took back their reproductive rights, endowed by biology and
Nature. All that women would need to do to create a quiet revolution is to resume the old
practice of keeping the paternity of their children a secret.
She cherishes the Promiscuity Principle--but also men's money. Men must teach women
that the money will not be forthcoming unless they submit to the patriarchal Sexual Constitution
and allow fathers to have legitimate and inalienable children. Society wants males to earn
money. It is the labor of males which creates the prosperity of society, as the poverty of the
surviving Stone Age societies, the ghettos, and the Indian reservations amply shows. There is
one way, and only one, of motivating males to earn that money, and that is to make them heads
of families. Wes Hall may condemn the young black males who procreate illegitimate children
and go "scot-free" of the responsibility which ought to accompany fatherhood. These young
black males ought to be taught in their sex education classes that they aren't so much getting
something for nothing, as they are being deprived of the possibility of real fatherhood because of
the unchastity of the females who consent to cohabit with them and because of society's
unwillingness to supply the props (in addition to demanding the complementary responsibilities)
which fatherhood must have because of its biological marginality.
The black matriarchs, who, like Mrs. E. M. Anderson, view "Thanks for My Child" as "a
positive statement of a mother's love for her child" no doubt also perceive it as a reaffirmation of
female moral superiority, paralleling the one-upmanship of their Latin American sisters who
encourage their men in childish displays of machismo in order to cast themselves in the
complementary role ("marianismo") of morally superior, spiritually strong, understanding but
forbearing "Mamacitas." It is men who must put an end to this feminine mystique. The male
reply to the condescension of "Thanks for My Child" ought to be an indignantly ironic "Thanks
for reducing me to the status of a stud. Thanks for preventing me from being a real father, from
having a real family."
The male is not equally responsible with the female for inflicting illegitimacy on a child.
In the patriarchal system a man can only be held responsible to a "good" woman, one who
accepts the Sexual Constitution. The bad women are an essential part of the system, but they
must be de-classed and regarded as unfit for marriage, since husbands can have no assurance of
their chastity and loyalty, no assurance of having legitimate children by them. The feminist
campaign to do away with the double standard is an attempt to remove this class distinction and
make all women "good." Instead, it is making all women "bad," creating the Garbage Generation
in the process. The predicament lamented in "Thanks for My Child" has the consequence that
women can no longer trust men and men can no longer trust women.
In Saudi Arabia there exists a Committee for the Protection of Virtue and Prevention of
Vice, whose executive arm is the Mutatawa or religious police. According to Kim Murphy,
Nearly every woman has an unpleasant encounter with the Mutatawa to report, an incident when
she was observed talking to an unrelated man in public, or shopping without the proper headgear
or abaya, and subjected to a public tongue-lashing, or worse.
"In the souq [market], they'll come up to you and say, 'Aren't you ashamed of
yourself?' Or worse yet, they go up to your husband and say, 'Aren't you a man? Why are
you dragging this hussy around with you?'" Raslan said. "You've embarrassed yourself,
you've embarrassed your husband, and for what? For what reason?"
"Officially," she said, "they say, 'We don't want the ladies having to face the hazards [of
being part of the working world], we want to protect them.' But unofficially, what the women see
is they are apprehensive of women finding their own feet."
Apprehensive that women will sexually de-regulate themselves, restore the first law of
matriarchy, replace the two-parent family with the "rotational" family, destroy the male role and
ghettoize society. The Matatawa themselves may be ridiculous, but their apprehension is not.
Take another look at the words of Hazel Henderson or those of Helen Fisher on page 5. What the
Matatawa are afraid of has already happened in the ghettos and is happening before our eyes in
the larger society. The ridiculousness of the religious police, like the ridiculousness of Victorian
puritanism, proves not the silliness of the patriarchal system but its shakiness and the marginality
of the male role within it--and its need for social props to sustain it. Female promiscuity can
wreck it, as Hazel Henderson and Sjoo and Mor and other feminists clearly perceive.
"The women's libbers," says Samuel Blumenfeld, object to the moral codes that the
patriarchal system evolved as aids in the subjugation of women. But we must marvel at man's
intellectual genius in creating such effective cultural and social devices to maintain the integrity
of the family, as well as his control over women with a minimum of physical force.
Blumenfeld sees "the moral codes crumbling all around us," and says
Whoever sold teen-agers on the idea that there is such a thing as premarital
"recreational sex" ought to be shot. Unless one understands that sexual pleasure was
created by nature as bait for the more painful responsibilities of existence, one cannot
understand sex, one cannot understand love, one cannot understand life. Unless sexual
pleasure leads to human responsibility, it then becomes the shallowest and most
depressing of pursuits.
It is not "nature" but the patriarchal system which puts sex to work as the great stabilizer
and motivator of society, and the central feature of this system is society's guarantee to the father
of the legitimacy and inalienability of his offspring. "Everywhere as society advances," says W.
Robertson Smith, "a stage is reached when the child ceases to belong to the mother's kin and
follows the father." "Everywhere" except in contemporary America, where society is reverting to
the matriarchal pattern, with consequent social deterioration.
Otto Kiefer's Sexual Life in Ancient Rome informs us that the celebrated Swiss jurist J. J.
Bachofen sought to prove that in ancient Italy the reign of strong paternal authority had been
preceded by a state of exclusive matriarchy, chiefly represented by the Etruscans. He considered
that the development of exclusive patriarchy, which we find to be the prevailing type of
legitimate relation in historic times, was a universal reform, a vast and incomparable advance in
civilization.
"We understand," writes lesbian-feminist Charlotte Bunch, "that the demand by some for
control over our intimate lives-- denying each person's right to control and express her or his
own sexuality and denying women the right to control over the reproductive process in our
bodies--creates an atmosphere in which domination over others and militarism are seen as
acceptable."
She makes no reference to the contract of marriage, which is intended to allow men to
share in women's reproductive lives. She would have the marriage contract place no obligations
on the woman, and allow her to exercise her reproductive freedom as though there were no
contract.
She continues:
We know that priorities are amiss in the world when children are not protected
from parents who abuse them sexually while a lesbian mother is denied custody of her
child and labeled immoral simply because she loves women.
She is labeled immoral because she denies her child a father and wishes to transform
society in order to make her lifestyle normative and thus make it unnecessary for any child to
have a father. In other words, while she considers child abuse bad, she considers destruction of
the patriarchal Sexual Constitution good, even though child abuse is commoner in the female-
headed homes she wishes to create by destroying the Sexual Constitution.
Let's look as a concrete example. Charles Rothenberg was divorced by his wife and
confronted with the loss of the one love object of his life, his 6 year old son David. He kidnapped
the boy and then, realizing the futility of his one-man revolt against the legal system which was
about to take the boy back, made the desperate resolve to kill the boy and himself. He doused
David with kerosene and set him afire but lost his nerve when it came his own turn. He fled and
was captured. The fire left David disfigured with burns over his face and most of his body. The
righteously indignant judge, James R. Franks, who sentenced Charles to 13 years in prison wept
in his chambers over the fact that this was the maximum allowed by the law.
A hideous crime. It might not have happened if Charles had not been goaded and crazed
by the knowledge that he had no chance of getting a fair custody shake from the court.
Aside from this, is there anything to be learned from what Rothenberg did? This mixed-
up man was, like Charles Manson, the offspring of an unmarried teen-age prostitute and a father
he never saw. Presumably he got messed up because his socialization was messed-up. The sins
of the father were visited upon the son, David. But also the sins of the grandmother, who brought
Charles into the world in violation of the Legitimacy Principle. Grandma is unpunished because
her sins are non-violent, merely sexual, merely sins against the Sexual Constitution which Ms.
Bunch wants to do away with.
Harriet Taylor, friend, and later wife, of the 19th century feminist John Stuart Mill, expressed the
feminist view about regulating women:
that if men are so sure that nature intended women for marriage, motherhood and
servitude, why then do they find it necessary to erect so many barriers to other options,
why are they required to force women to be restricted to this role? For if women's
preference be natural there can be no necessity for enforcing it by law, and it has never
been considered necessary in any other area to make laws compelling people to follow
their inclination.
Women aren't drawn into marriage by their "nature." They accept it because it is
advantageous and because its advantages cannot be obtained without submitting to the
patriarchal constraints whose purpose is to channel procreation through families. The present
disruption of sexual law-and-order is produced by women's trying to retain the advantages while
rejecting the constraints.
We read in the book of Hosea in the Bible that Gomer, wife of the prophet, dressed
herself in fine raiment and had sex with strangers at the Temple in Jerusalem. According to
feminist Merlin Stone,
She took part in the sexual customs of her own free will and...viewed them not as an
obligatory or compulsory duty but as pleasant occasions, rather like festive parties. This
situation was clearly unacceptable to the men who espoused the patrilineal Hebrew
system, as Hosea did, but it does reveal that for those who belonged to other religious
systems it was quite typical behavior.
For thousands of years these sexual customs had been accepted as natural among the
people of the Near and Middle East. They may have permitted and even encouraged matrilineal
descent patterns to continue and a female-kinship system to survive. Inherent within the very
practice of the sexual customs was the lack of concern for the paternity of children- -and it is
only with a certain knowledge of paternity that a patrilineal system can be maintained.
Hosea was a spokesman for the newer patriarchal religion of Jahweh, Gomer a
representative of the older worship of the Great Goddess. "The male and female religions existed
side by side for thousands of years," reads a publisher's flyer advertising Merlin Stone's book:
Goddess worship continued throughout the periods of Abraham, Moses, David and
Solomon and as late as St. Paul. It appears that the worship of the Goddess did not
naturally give way to the new masculine religions, but was the victim of centuries of
continual persecution and suppression by the more aggressive, war-like invaders....Merlin
Stone believes that the persecution of Goddess worshippers had a political and economic
basis. The invaders had a patrilineal system whereby men controlled paternity, property
and the right to rule. If Goddess worship was destroyed, the indigenous, matrilineal
system would also be destroyed. It was only by denying women the sexual freedom they
had under the Goddess that men could control paternity. Therefore, moral imperatives,
such as premarital virginity and marriage fidelity for women reflected and reinforced
politically inspired religion. Stone's research has shown her that this integral Biblical
story [the Garden of Eden story] which is used theologically to explain male dominance
in all things, has been used through the ages to justify the continual oppression and
subjugation of women. Ms. Stone believes that the story symbolically describes the
eradication of Goddess worship and the damning of its religious trappings and
institutions, i.e., wise, prophetic serpents as adjuncts of the Goddess, holy fruit trees,
sexually active and free women. [Emphasis added.]
The male and female religions existed side by side for thousands of years. In other words,
it required thousands of years of struggle to establish the patriarchal system and to do away with
forms of religious worship which W. Robertson Smith describes as "horrible orgies of
unrestrained sensuality, of which we no longer dare to speak in unveiled words."
The single generation following the publishing of The Feminine Mystique has produced a
catastrophic subversion of the fragile and artificial patriarchal system and a more-than-partial
return to the older matriarchal system, including even some tentative attempts in books like
Stone's When God Was a Woman and Sjoo and Mor's The Great Cosmic Mother to provide it
with a theological superstructure. The central issue, however, is not theological but familial:
whether or not males shall participate equally with females in human reproduction. Equal male
participation is possible only on the basis of stable families--on assurance of father custody in
cases of divorce.
"Women by nature," writes Hendrik DeLeeuw,
are no more monogamous than men and no less polygamous. Women's sexual tendencies,
biologically, are no less variational than those of the male gender. Best historical proof
lies in the case of some of the primitive communities where conditions of life did not
hamper sex expression of women any more than of men. Among the natives of Victoria,
for example, the women have so many lovers that it becomes almost impossible to guess
the paternity of children. Brazilian historians relate that among the Guyacurus and the
Guyanas Indians of South America, the women, and especially the nobler ones, have one
or more lovers who remain at their side day and night to attend to their sexual
requirements. And so it becomes obvious that wherever conditions permitted, women
have rejected the monogamous relationships as often as men. What it also implies is that,
if granted equal freedom, women tend to be equally variational and multiple in their sex
expression.
This promiscuity is why these societies are "primitive." It is to prevent civilized society
from relapsing into this primitivism that the Legitimacy Principle--every child must have a
father--must be enforced.
Here, from Dear Abby, 27 December, 1985, is an illustration of how easily the
Legitimacy Principle is undermined:
DEAR ABBY: I'll bet you never heard anything like this before. Our son, "Mike," has
been living with his girlfriend, "Libby," for three years. They have a 2-year-old son
whom we love like a grandson.
Last year, money got tight, so to help out with the expenses, Libby and Mike rented their
spare room to a friend of Mike's. (I'll call him Gary.)
As it turned out, Libby carried on a secret affair with Gary, and now she has a child by
him, too.
Our son wants to forgive Libby, marry her and adopt her new baby. We, his parents,
cannot forgive her for what she did to Mike.
We love our son and the grandson he and Libby gave us, but we do not want to accept
Libby as our daughter-in-law knowing she had an illegitimate child by a guy who rented
a room in their house.
--GRAMAW
Abby's reply:
DEAR GRAMAW: Regardless of how you feel about Libby, if you don't accept her as
your daughter-in-law along with her children, you can say goodby to your son and the
grandson you love. It's a package deal. Take it or leave it; the choice is yours.
It's a good example of the contrasting ways in which matriarchy and patriarchy handle
the regulation of sexuality. Libby accepts the first law of matriarchy--whatever she decides is
final--and Mike and the legal system go along. In consequence, seven people are at risk, the two
babies, the three parents and the two grandparents. The son must either subsidize an adulteress
and a bastard or lose his own child. The mother is at risk of being a single parent caught in the
Custody Trap--as sole provider and sole custodian, with reduced resources and doubled
responsibilities, de-classed in the eyes of conservative people, perhaps driven onto welfare. The
two babies are at risk of being fatherless and therefore more likely to be impoverished and
delinquent. The two grandparents will either lose their grandchild or be compelled to accept the
adulteress's value system, accept an illegitimate child they don't want as their grandchild and
pretend not to care about traditional family values.
Suppose that the legal system didn't go along. Suppose it behaved in accordance with the
principles of the patriarchy which created it. Suppose it provided props for the father's role rather
than for the mother's.
Then (1) there would probably be no shacking-up to begin with, no illegitimate child.
Libby would be far less likely to have shacked up with Mike or to have had her secret affair with
Gary, knowing that Mike, not she, was the legal custodian of the grandson and knowing that
Mike had the authority to toss her out and keep his grandson for himself--and find himself a wife
who would not introduce confusion of progeny into his household. Then (2) if there had been an
affair between Gary and Libby anyway, it would have been up to Mike to decide whether to
legitimize Libby's illegitimate child and by doing so guarantee it a place within the patriarchal
system, or to expel Libby and her illegitimate child and by so doing safeguard the proper rearing
and socializing of his son and his relationships with the grandparents--while at the same time
giving Libby, Gary and their child their best opportunity of forming a patriarchal family of their
own. And of course giving himself his best opportunity of marrying another woman and creating
a patriarchal family of his own and providing his son with a stepmother who shared his
patriarchal values.
Here's another letter to Abby, illustrating the sexual confusion of the times:
DEAR ABBY: Our parents' anniversary is coming up soon. Some of us would like to
make them a gift of a family portrait including their children, their children's spouses and
their grandchildren.
We want to limit this portrait to legitimate family members only, which would exclude
the mother of one of the grandchildren and her son from a previous relationship.
We would like to include our brother and his legitimate child without including the
woman he lives with and her illegitimate son. Is it possible to do this without causing
hard feelings?
--PROBLEMS
DEAR PROBLEMS: No. Abandon the idea. There are no illegitimate children; just
illegitimate parents.
The writer and his or her siblings believe in the Legitimacy Principle. No matter, says
Abby. There are new proprieties to which everyone must conform on pain of being disliked by
feminists and believers in the first law of matriarchy. Since the feminist/sexual revolution the
Promiscuity Principle has replaced the Legitimacy Principle and one sexual arrangement is as
good as another. Nobody's feelings must ever be hurt--unless they happen to believe in the
Legitimacy Principle.
Field direction (thinking the way everyone else thinks), shame and guilt have hitherto
been means of maintaining sexual law-and- order, especially among females, who used to glory
in their role as the guardians of morality and who formerly had no greater pleasure than in
gossiping about the sexual transgressions of their less virtuous sisters.
No more. What Charlotte Bunch said of lesbianism ("it threatens male supremacy at its
core") is trebly true of the first law of matriarchy, now that field direction works for, rather than
against it, now that shame and guilt no longer function to promote legitimacy, now that the
courts (and Abby) are on the side of the Promiscuity Principle. Women now control their own
sexuality without interference from men. The Legitimacy Principle, the patriarchal family and
the male role as its head are obsolete. These changes, striking at the foundation of the patriarchal
system, have been accomplished without any examination of their portentous consequences for
society.
The matriarchal mode of child-rearing, in which each individual is nurtured rather than
dominated from birth provides the rational basis for a genuinely healthy society, a society
of self-regulating, positive individuals.
Things are this way in the ghettos, where half of the young bear the surnames of their
mothers, and where the proportion of such maternal surnames increases every year, along with
crime and the other accompaniments of matriarchy.
"You Frenchmen," said an Iroquois Indian three hundred years ago to the Jesuit Father Le
Jeune, "love only your own children; we love all the children of the tribe." In a promiscuous
matriclan this is the best way to see that all children are cared for; but it will not create the deep
family loyalties needed to usher a society out of the Stone Age. "At the core of patriarchy," says
Adrienne Rich, "is the individual family unit which originated with the idea of property and the
desire to see one's property transmitted to one's biological descendants." This creation of wealth
cannot be motivated by a desire to transmit it to an ex-wife or to a welfare system which
undermines the families whose resources it feeds upon.
The patriarchal family, whose linchpin is female chastity and loyalty, makes men work.
That is why civilization must be patriarchal and why it slides into chaos, as ours is doing, where
family arrangements become matrilineal. What feminist Marie Richmond-Abbott says of men in
general is especially true of men in capitalist patriarchy:
A man's life is defined by his work, his occupation. The first question a man is usually
asked is, "What do you do?" People shape their perception of him according to his
answer.
A man's life may be defined by his work even under matriarchy, but it is only loosely
defined. Here, described by the 19th century German explorer, G. W. Schweinfurth, is the way
males perform when females regard them as inessential. The tribe described is the Monbuttu:
Whilst the women attend to the tillage of the soil and the gathering of the harvest, the
men, except they are absent either for war or hunting, spend the entire day in idleness. In
the early hours of the morning they may be found under the shade of the oil-palms,
lounging at full length upon their carved benches and smoking tobacco. During the
middle of the day they gossip with their friends in the cool halls.
Similarly, under communism, the state's guarantee of economic security weakens the
male's commitment to work and undermines his productivity. "The other day," writes Eric
Hoffer,
I happened to ask myself a routine question and stumbled on a surprising answer. The
question was: What is the uppermost problem which confronts the leadership in a
Communist regime? The answer: The chief preoccupation of every government between
the Elbe and the China Sea is how to make people work--how to induce them to plow,
sow, harvest, build, manufacture, work in the mines, and so forth. It is the most vital
problem which confronts them day in day out, and it shapes not only their domestic
policies but their relations with the outside world.
Who wants to plow, sow, harvest, build, manufacture, work in the mines--unless the work,
unsatisfying and unfulfilling in itself, is made meaningful by a man's knowledge that it must be
done if he is to provide for his family?
In the occident [continues Hoffer] the chief problem is not how to induce people to work
but how to find enough jobs for people who want to work. We seem to take the readiness to work
almost as much for granted as the readiness to breathe. Yet the goings on inside the Communist
world serve to remind us that the Occident's attitude toward work so far from being natural and
normal, is strange and unprecedented. It was the relatively recent emergence of this attitude
which, as much as anything else, gave modern Western civilization its unique character and
marked it off from all its predecessors.
George Gilder makes the same point, but with a different emphasis, indicating the
significance of family arrangements:
The industrial revolution was perhaps the most cataclysmic event in history, changing
every aspect of human society.
He points out that while multiple causes are at work, it may well be that economic growth
is most essentially a problem of interrelated motivation and demography--that is, a problem of
familial and sexual organization.
Once again we may find that the success and durability of a society is less dependent on
how it organizes its money and resources on a grand scale, or how it produces its goods, than on
how it induces men to subordinate their sexual rhythms to extended female perspectives.
"Pre-industrial men," as the British demographer E. A. Wrigley puts it, "lived their lives
in a moving present; short-term prospects occupied much of their attention."
Wrigley believes that it was the presence of relatively isolated conjugal or nuclear
families that made possible the emergence of the highly motivated industrial bourgeoisie and
labor force.
There were major differences between the families of Eastern Europe and Asia
("economically stagnant") and those of England and precocious parts of Western Europe where
the Industrial Revolution began and flourished, and where "a couple generally could not get
married unless it was economically independent, with a separate household."
Thus sexual energies were directly tied to economic growth, and since strong sanctions
were imposed on premarital sex, population growth was directly connected to economic
productivity.
The italicized words signify that the Legitimacy Principle was enforced, the first law of
matriarchy made inoperative. Chastity and monogamy became an essential part of capitalism. It
was a stroke of genius: Work became sexy--but only for men, and only if women are chaste and
loyal to their husbands.
Average number of sperm per cubic millimeter of an American male's semen in 1929:
100 million.
Today: 60 million.
Work is no longer sexy. Alas, alas. What a universe of social disruption and suffering--
demoralization, broken marriages, sexual confusion, female-headed families, underachievement,
declining productivity, increased absenteeism, jobs travelling overseas, educational failure,
crime, illegitimacy, drug addiction--is revealed by that cubic millimeter.
The Family in America: New Research, April, 1988 cites a study made by the William T.
Grant Foundation Commission on Work, Family and Citizenship, titled The Forgotten Half:
Non-College Youth in America:
Millions of young men are marking time in low-paying jobs that make them poor
marriage prospects. This problem in male marriage and work patterns recently attracted
the attention of the William T. Grant Foundation Commission on Work, Family and
Citizenship, comprising some of the leading sociologists and policy analysts in America.
In its interim report, the Commission notes that between 1973 and 1986, the average
earnings of American males aged 20 to 24 fell from $11,939 to $8,859 (in 1985 dollars).
This drop meant that while 59 percent of all males in 1973 could support a three-member
family at or above the official poverty line, only 44 percent could in 1985. "No wonder,
then," observes the Commission, "that marriage rates among young males (ages 20-24)
declined almost in half, from 39.l percent in 1974 to 21.2 percent in 1985." Among black
males, the drop has been an even sharper 60 percent, from 29.2 percent in 1974 to only
11.1 percent in 1985. Understandably, as marriage rates have fallen, the proportion of
children born out of wedlock has risen, stranding millions of children in impoverished
female-headed households.
considerable evidence of a sexual crisis among young men, marked by sexual fragility
and retreat. Greater female availability and aggressiveness often seem to decrease male
confidence and initiative. A large survey of college students indicated that while virginity
among girls was rapidly diminishing, virginity among boys was actually increasing, and
at an equal rate. Impotence has for some time been the leading complaint at most college
psychiatric clinics. Citing evidence from "my patients, both male and female, articles in
medical journals, and conversations with my colleagues," one psychiatrist called it "the
least publicized epidemic of the 1970s."
Therapists have coined a new term for this, Inhibited Sexual Desire, ISD. According to
Newsweek, psychiatrists and psychologists say they are seeing a growing proportion of patients
with such complaints--people whose main response to the sexual revolution has been some
equivalent of "not tonight, dear." Clinically, their problem is known as Inhibited Sexual Desire
(ISD), a condition marked by the inability to muster any interest in the great obsession. "The
person with low sexual desire will not feel 'horny'....He will not be moved to seek out sexual
activity, nor will he fantasize about sex," wrote psychiatrist Helen Singer Kaplan in a 1979 book
that first called wide attention to the problem.
Over the past decade ISD has emerged as the most common of all sexual complaints.
Here is Gilder's explanation of how the patriarchal system works and why chastity and
monogamy are essential to it:
The virtues of this arrangement, which also prevailed in the United States, go beyond the
effective harnessing of male sexual and economic energies to the creation of family units.
By concentrating rewards and penalties, the conjugal household set a pattern of
incentives that applied for a lifetime. Benefits of special effort or initiative were not
diffused among a large number of relatives, as in the extended family; and the effects of
sloth or failure would not be mitigated by the success of the larger unit. In general, the
man stood alone as provider for his wife and children. He was fully responsible for the
rest of his life. Such responsibility transformed large numbers of pre-industrial men,
living in "a moving present," into relatively long-term planners, preparing for an
extended future.
The alternative was shown in a 1986 T.V. film, Man Made Famine, which made the point
that African women did most of the continent's agricultural work, a fact interpreted by the
filmmakers as proving that "institutionalized male chauvinism is at the core of many of Africa's
agricultural problems." These hard-working African women want independence from men and
yet they complain of abandonment by men. Their problem is that their societies have failed to
channel male energies into socially useful and economically productive directions. This is not
institutionalized male chauvinism; it is the failure to impose patriarchy. The males will never be
productive as long as women's sexual autonomy (the first law of matriarchy) cuts men off from
families. They are in the same situation as millions of their American brothers, concerning whom
Success magazine writes:
The alienated poor. Some see their very existence as an indictment of capitalism. These
are not the striving, ambitious immigrants who battle hardship and discrimination in
order to ascend the economic ladder. These are the cut-off poor, whether in Harlem or
Appalachia, who lack the conviction that they can succeed by dint of their own efforts.
They are without skills, motivation, self-esteem, and awareness of opportunity. They are
nonfunctional in a free-enterprise society, where effective work requires, to use [George]
Gilder's words, "alertness and emotional commitment"--in short, a positive mental
attitude.
They hate capitalism, and capitalism does nothing for them because they have been
deprived of the cornerstone of capitalism, a patriarchal family, without which most males remain
unmotivated.
A famous 1965 study by Mattina Horner showed that women commonly feared success.
The study was repeated in 1971 by Lois Hoffman, with surprising differences of result.
According to Marie Richmond-Abbott,
The group that had changed in their perceptions since Horner's (1965) study were the
men! Horner reported only 8 percent of the males tried to avoid success, and Hoffman's
(1971) study showed 77 percent of the men tried to do so. They were equally likely to
show fear of success in all-male settings as in settings where both sexes functioned
professionally.
For both men and women, mean scores of "desire to achieve" had gone down
significantly between 1965 and 1971. However, women's reasons for fear of success remained
much as they had been earlier, whereas men's reasons seemed linked to a diminished desire to
achieve at all. Hoffman points out that the content of the men's stories was different from that of
the women's. The men seemed to question the value of success itself.
"By age 30," says medical writer Janny Scott, "only 3% of those born before 1910 had
experienced depression--compared to nearly 60% of those born around 1950." The suicide rate
of white males age 15-24 rose almost 50 percent between 1970 and 1983.
"Somewhere at the dawn of human history," says Margaret Mead, "some social invention
was made under which males started nurturing females and their young." Aside from a few
tramps, she thinks, most men will accept their responsibilities to provide for their families. But
there exists a male responsibility only if there exists a complementary female need. The goal of
feminism is to remove this need. Hear Betty Friedan:
I've suspected that the men who really feel threatened by the women's movement in
general or by their own wives' moves toward some independent activity are the ones who
are most unsure of their women's love. Such a man often worries that his wife has
married him only for economic security or the status and vicarious power he provides. If
she can get these things for herself, what does she need him for? Why will she continue
to love him? In his anger is also the fear she will surely leave him.
Of course. If she can get these things for herself she doesn't need him and they both know
it, even if they haven't read Nickles and Ashcraft's The Coming Matriarchy and found out about
the divorce rates of economically independent women--women like Ms. Friedan herself, who put
her husband's name on the dedication page of The Feminine Mystique, but later, after she
discovered she could make it alone on her royalties and lecture fees, tossed him out, took his
children from him and removed his name from the dedication page. (Not that she didn't complain
about his failure to provide her with child support money for the children she took from him. )
A man who supposed his wife married him only out of love, the motive proposed by Ms.
Friedan as sufficient to hold marriages together, would be a ruddy fool and--what is really bad
from society's point of view--an unmotivated fool, for society needs the man's work and wealth,
and if his family no longer expect him to be a provider he won't work too hard--which is why
single men earn so much less than married men earn.
Ms. Friedan cites a family therapist from Philadelphia, who is worried about his stake in
his family:
"I was working at one of the big family-training centers in the country," he said. "There
was constant theoretical discussion about getting the father back into the family. But the
way our own jobs were set up, you had to work fifty to sixty hours a week. To really get
anywhere you had to put in seventy hours, work nights, weekends. You didn't have time
for your own family. You were supposed to make the job Number One in your life, and I
wouldn't do that. My life is Number One, and my family--my job is only to be a good
therapist. To play the office politics and be one of the big guns you had to devote your
whole life to it. I started my own practice where I keep my own hours. Most of the other
family therapists at the center are now divorced.
They are divorced--and have lost their children and their homes. They were "unsure of
their women's love" because they were economically superfluous. The man with whom Ms.
Friedan spoke knows his wife may toss him out as his fellow-therapists were tossed out by their
wives, and he is in a panic. A generation ago, a man's attachment to his family gave him the
motivation to be a high achiever; today, the feminist/sexual revolution has made this attachment
to his family the cause of his becoming a panicky underachiever.
Lesbian feminist Susan Cavin proposes using the first law of matriarchy as a means of
destroying patriarchy and liberating women:
Collective refusal of women to tell men who is the "father" of their children; this could be
accomplished by the simple method of hetero-females never sleeping with only one man
for any length of time, but always having two or more male lovers. This method is based
on the assumption that mass high rates of "illegitimacy" will destroy the patrilineal
family, especially its monogamian form.
It would work if men refused to enforce the Legitimacy Principle. Which is why they
must enforce it--and why they must regain control over their paychecks in order to do so.
Chapter IV
Sleeping Beauty Feminism vs. Slaughtered Saints Feminism
In 1963 Betty Friedan told American women they were childlike weaklings who should
grow up and stand on their own feet like men. They "never feel that they are really exerting
sufficient effort." The American housewife "feels 'lazy, neglectful, haunted by guilt feelings'
because she doesn't have enough work to do." "At one of the major women's magazines," she
recalls,
I helped create this image. I have watched American women for fifteen years try to
conform to it. But I can no longer deny my own knowledge of its terrible implications. It is not a
harmless image. There may be no psychological terms for the harm it is doing. But what happens
when women try to live according to an image that makes them deny their minds?
By giving an absolute meaning and a sanctimonious value to the generic term "woman's
role," functionalism put American women into a kind of deep freeze--like Sleeping Beauties,
waiting for a Prince Charming to waken them, while all around the magic circle the world moved
on.
I think it will not end, as long as the feminine mystique masks the emptiness of
the housewife role, encouraging girls to evade their own growth by vicarious living, by
non- commitment. We have gone on too long blaming or pitying the mothers who devour
their children, who sow the seeds of progressive dehumanization, because they have
never grown to full humanity themselves. If the mother is at fault, why isn't it time to
break the pattern by urging all these Sleeping Beauties to grow up and live their own
lives? There never will be enough Prince Charmings, or enough therapists to break that
pattern now. It is society's job, and finally that of each woman alone. For it is not the
strength of the mothers that is at fault but their weakness, their passive childlike
dependency and immaturity that is mistaken for "femininity." Our society forces boys,
insofar as it can, to grow up, to endure the pains of growth, to educate themselves to
work, to move on. Why aren't girls forced to grow up--to achieve somehow the core of
self that will end the unnecessary dilemma, the mistaken choice between femaleness and
humanness that is implied in the feminine mystique?
Here is how Ms. Friedan told the women of 1963 to see themselves:
For the women I interviewed, the problem seemed to be not that too much was asked of
them but too little.
You'd find them drinking, or sitting around talking to other women and watching children
play because they can't bear to be alone or watching TV or reading a book.
I have suggested that the real cause both of feminism and of women's frustration was the
emptiness of the housewife's role.
Well, then...how would you like to make $8,000, $20,000--as much as $50,000 and
More--working at Home in Your Spare Time? No selling! No commuting! No time clocks to
punch!
Yes, an Assured Lifetime Income can be yours now, in an easy, low-pressure, part-time
job that will permit you to spend most of each and every day as you please!--relaxing, watching
TV, playing cards, socializing with friends!...
Incredible though it may seem, the above offer is completely legitimate. More than
40,000,000 Americans are already so employed.
These 40,000,000 Americans were the housewives referred to by Ms. Friedan when she
said "Society asks so little of women."
Small wonder that the Playboy/Feminine Mystique/Sleeping Beauty pitch was discarded
by feminists as an unsuitable basis for a popular movement and that it is today as extinct as the
trilobite. The idle sex-toy doll-housewife pampered by an overworked husband is unmentioned
in the literature of post-1960s feminism. The Sleeping Beauty has been replaced by the
Slaughtered Saint, tyrannized over, oppressed, brainwashed, beaten, enslaved, exploited,
crucified, impaled, racked and harrowed, flayed, trampled and hung in chains by remorseless,
inhuman, fierce, sadistic, exploitive, brutal alcoholic male despots, beasts, marital rapists and so
forth.
It is useful, though, to remember that the initial thrust of feminism was that "The problem
seemed to be not that too much was asked of [women] but too little." In 1963 the subsidization of
ex- wives by ex-husbands was said to be contemptible; today the feminist party line is a demand
for "support rules that aim at equalizing the standards of living of the two parties after divorce"
and that divorced women "have earned the right to share their husbands' income for the rest of
their lives and to maintain a standard of living that is equal to theirs" --so that even though the
man is no longer a husband, and even though Betty Friedan had told wives to be ashamed of
themselves for expecting to be subsidized for the trifling services they perform, the man deprived
of these services should continue to subsidize the woman who withdraws them.
In Sleeping Beauty agitprop, contempt for women who accepted alimony was
conspicuous. In Slaughtered Saints feminism, contempt for alimony is replaced by contempt for
the word alimony: "Alimony?" wrote Betty Friedan in 1974, "Forget it--it's a sexist concept, and
doesn't belong in a women's movement for equality." But on the preceding page she wrote this:
At that time, we were so concerned with principle--that equality of right and opportunity
had to mean equality of responsibility, and therefore alimony was out--that we did not
realize the trap we were falling into. It is a trap for thousands, hundreds of thousands, if
not millions of women, when they face a no-fault divorce law--in which a separation
begun before the law was even envisaged becomes de facto divorce--with no provision
for economic support [read: no alimony] or division of property....She should be insured
in her own right for Social Security in old age and severance pay in divorce [read:
alimony]...Maintenance, rehabilitation, severance pay--whatever you want to call it [read:
alimony]--is a necessity for many divorced women, as is child support.
Under Sleeping Beauty feminism it was common for feminists like Gloria Steinem to
sneer at marriage as "prostitution." Slaughtered Saints feminist Flo Kennedy disagreed:
Prostitutes don't sell their bodies, they rent their bodies. Housewives sell their
bodies when they get married--they cannot take them back--and most courts do not
regard the taking of a woman's body by her husband against her will as rape.
Now they can take their bodies back--and still get a free ride. Taking someone's money in
exchange for nothing used to be called robbery, but Slaughtered Saints feminists regard it as a
means of restoring women's dignity. As long as the money flows from the male to the female, as
long as Steinem's "prostitution" is retroactive and requires no services, they are willing--they
insist--that it be called something other than alimony and will affect to despise those women who
take men's money and call what they do by its proper name. Like exophagic cannibals
denouncing the barbarousness of endophagic cannibalism, like the Mayor of Gomorrah
condemning the moral depravity of Sodom and San Francisco, like two-dollar hookers sneering
at twenty-five cent hookers who are lowering the dignity of the profession, they have risen above
that sort of thing.
"Society asks so little of women." That was Sleeping Beauty feminism, shaming women,
telling them to stop filing their fingernails and get out and work like men. A decade later
Slaughtered Saints feminists, seeking self-actualization and true humanity, claimed victimhood
for themselves and affected to be the wretched of the earth--adorning themselves with crucifixes
bearing a naked woman, telling men how oppressive it was for them not to do half of the "little"
housework at which Ms. Friedan sneered. Bwana fimbo!--bad white man! By then the admired,
achieving male of 1963, hobbled with his parasitic female, had become a gynocidal maniac, a
wild beast:
[T]he Old Testament patriarchs quite intentionally set themselves against the lunar
psyche in women (and in men, who are half-female), in their desire to destroy the Goddess
religion, and the Goddess within us all. Because of this, the menstruating womb became the
Devil of patriarchy--"the only good woman is a pregnant woman," etc.--and the three-hundred-
plus years of European Christian witch-hunting has been accurately called "9 million menstrual
murders." Women were burned for practicing our natural moon-crafts of midwifery, hypnotism,
healing, dowsing, herbal and drug use, dream study, and sexual pleasure.
Perhaps what is most galling is that while the housewife's duties resemble those of a
servant, the financial arrangements she has with her husband somewhat resemble those of
someone even lower down on the status ladder--namely, the slave.
If we read the Bible as normative social literature, the absence of the Goddess is the
single most important statement about the kind of social order that the men who over many
centuries wrote and rewrote this religious document strove to establish and uphold. For
symbolically the absence of the Goddess from the officially sanctioned Holy Scriptures was the
absence of a divine power to protect women and avenge the wrongs inflicted upon them by men.
As we have seen, it was not coincidental that everywhere in the ancient world the
imposition of male dominance was part of the shift from a peaceful and equalitarian way of
organizing human society to a hierarchic and violent order ruled by brutal and greedy men....At
the same time that shedding blood by killing and injuring other human beings--in wars, in brutal
punishments, and in the exercise of the male's practically absolute authority over women and
children--becomes the norm, the act of giving life now becomes tainted and unclean....And so,
first in Mesopotamia and Canaan and later in the theocracies of Judaea and Israel, warfare,
authoritarian rule, and the subjugation of women became integral parts of the new dominator
morality and society.
What kind of society is it that calls love and affection between two women perverse,
while male brutality to women is made profitable....What kind of society is it where the lifelong
partnership of two women has no standing in court, while a husband can batter and rape his wife
without interference?...It is a pornographic society; America is a pornographic patriarchy.
Is it any wonder then that men hate women so? Is it any wonder that they beat us and tear
us apart and stomp us to death?...I suspect that they cannot forgive us for reminding them, by our
stubborn survival, how they have raped and beaten and cheated and deceived and maimed and
killed us for 5000 years.
One of the accusations against the male is his refusal to believe in his own beastliness.
Hear Irene Greene, Program Director of the University of Minnesota's Sexual Violence Program,
explain why accusations made by females against males ought always to be believed:
We respect that a woman's reality is her truth. In a society where far too often women are
disbelieved, unsupported and blamed for their own victimization, it is important that they have at
least one safe place where they will be believed....Because a fundamental anchor of our
philosophy is to support and thus believe in each woman's reality, we may come upon the one-in-
a-hundred situation where a story or parts of a story may be questionable. Since the occurrence
of a false report is so rare, it is far more respectful, professional and necessary to err on the side
of belief than to risk the slim chance that a story may not be totally accurate. It is important to
support the individual and her reality rather than to deny and disbelieve her.
...feeding on the bodies and minds of women, sapping energy at the expense of female
deaths. Like Dracula, the he-male has lived on women's blood....The priests of patriarchy
have eaten the body and have drunk the blood of the Sacrificial Victim in their Mass, but
they have not wished to know who has really been the Victim whose blood supported this
parasitic life.
The insatiable lust of males for female blood has resulted in a perpetual blood transfusion
throughout the millennia--a one-way outpouring into the veins and arteries of the bloodthirsty
monster, the Male Machine that now can continue its obscene life only by genocide. If the
Machine dreams, it is of a future filled with megadeaths. The total vampire no longer needs even
to speak of blood, which is after all visible, measurable. It drinks instead in quantities calculable
only through the highest mathematics....It is men who have sapped the life-force of women.
This horror over male atrocity, like feminist candlelight processions to "take back the
night," is a public relations exercise. According to Dr. Karl Menninger, for every woman who
complains to her psychiatrist about the brutality of her man there are a dozen who complain
about his weakness, dependency and impotence--a dozen who want their men to be more
dominant, not less.
There is an intergenerational angle. According to Gelles and Straus, it is a myth that most
battered and abused children grow up to become batterers and abusers themselves. They quote
child development expert Edward Zigler of Yale University as saying "the majority of abused
children do not become abusive parents" and "the time has come for the intergenerational myth
to be placed aside." But on the next page they cite researchers Rosemary Hunter and Nancy
Kilstrom: "If they [abused children who grew up to be non- abusive parents] had been abused, it
was by one parent, while the other parent served as a supportive life raft in a sea of trouble and
pain." In other words, the kids who survived abuse and became decent parents came from father-
present families--the two- parent family saved them. So while Gelles and Straus think it's good
that women should have "the economic resources they need to terminate a violent marriage,"
such termination transfers children from the patriarchal system which protects them to the
matriarchal system where a disproportionate amount of child abuse occurs. In September, 1989 a
social service officer in Milwaukee County, by name Terrence Cooley, wrote an inter-office
communication titled "AFDC/Child Abuse Information," a copy of which found its way into the
editorial office of The Family in America, pointing out that of the 1,050 cases of child abuse and
neglect in that county an astonishing 83 percent occurred in households receiving Aid to
Families with Dependent Children (read: female-headed households). "There has been," say
Gelles and Straus,
tremendous growth in paid employment of married women between 1975 and 1985. Our
own research has found that paid employment of married women helps rectify the
imbalance of power between spouses, and provides women with the economic resources
they need to terminate a violent marriage.
Also a non-violent marriage. Also a marriage in which the wife is not battered and
oppressed but simply bored and fed up with the sexual regulation which the patriarchal system
imposes upon her in exchange for her permitting a male to share her reproductive life and haul
her out of the matriarchal system and place her under coverture in the patriarchal system.
Another way of saying the same thing is that it denies men the resources and authority
they need to hold a marriage together.
It "helps rectify the imbalance of power between the two spouses," say Gelles and Straus.
They naively accept the whole Slaughtered Saints propaganda position, that women are poor
violated victims in need of society's chivalry, an idea ancient in Mary Wollenstonecraft's day. In
1854 Barbara Leigh Smith Bodichon wrote a pamphlet, "Married Women and the Law," citing
the familiar complaints about the patriarchy:
A man and wife are one person in law; the wife loses all her rights as a single
woman, and her existence is entirely absorbed in that of her husband. He is civilly
responsible for her acts; she lives under his protection or cover, and her condition is
called coverture.
A woman's body belongs to her husband, she is in his custody, and he can enforce his
right by a writ of habeas corpus.
The legal custody of children belongs to the father. During the life-time of a sane father,
the mother has no rights over her children, except a limited power over infants, and the father
may take them from her and dispose of them as he thinks fit.
This tilting of the law in the favor of the male has been not just abolished but reversed,
but it is still paraded in feminist literature (like the binding of Chinese women's feet) as proving
how oppressed today's American women are. The 19th century husband was empowered to take
his wife's children from her, but he didn't. Today's wife is empowered to take her husband's
children from him and she does in millions of marriages, and the marriages in which her right is
not exercised are de-stabilized by the knowledge that it could be exercised if the wife chooses.
Gelles and Straus know this but they still talk as though the law tilted in favor of the husband
rather than the wife. The "imbalance" which needs to be "rectified" is the reverse of what they
suggest: what is needed is getting rid of the massive anti-male bias of the legal system which
deprives husbands of virtually all rights and reduces ex-husbands to literal slavery.
Today's legal system has abandoned its responsibility to stabilize families and has
become the principal enemy of the family. That such a thing could happen, and happen so
rapidly and unobtrusively, suggests that the execrated pro-male 19th century legal system had the
right idea. It sensed, if it did not explicitly understand, that women don't like marriage and family
life and would willingly do away with them if they could do so without forfeiting their benefits.
"[I]f one imagined himself as newly arrived from Mars," writes feminist Carolyn Heilbrun,
She quotes a woman who opposed the ERA on the grounds that "I don't care to be a
person":
She understood, while misunderstanding the ERA, that to be a person and a wife are
oddly incompatible.
She scolds Christopher Lasch because he does not seem to recognize that the old, good
life, which he, Yeats, Trilling, and all today's new conservatives feel such nostalgia for, rested on
the willingness of women to remain exactly where today's women, in fiction at least, will not
remain: at home. Waiting for husband-warrior to retreat to them from the wide world is no
longer enough....[T]he woman who finds herself miserable at home when she is supposed to have
everything she has always wanted, everything all women have always wanted--this woman, who
would, decades ago, have been sent home by her analyst in search of a vaginal orgasm-- is now
seen as passing through a stage of development recognized in men but not hitherto associated
with women: adolescence. A woman is not an adolescent at puberty in our society, because her
search for identity does not take place then: rather it is a search for a husband in which she then
engages. The search for self, Nora's search in Ibsen's A Doll's House, occurs deep into marriage
and often with children left behind the slammed door....The real tension between...the fleeing
woman and those who struggle to preserve the family, is the tension between order and change,
particularly evident in our society. It is most evident within marriage, where the man desires
order and the woman change. If the women are unclear about what change should encompass,
they know it begins with their departure.
"Why do contemporary men fail to see this" indeed? Women don't like the regulation
marriage imposes upon them. The feminist/sexual revolution is an attempt to get rid of this
regulation without forfeiting the economic and status advantages its acceptance formerly
conferred.
What Dr. Heilbrun says comes close to what the Seneca Falls feminists complained
about, that women were moral minors with whom contracts--including marriage--were worth
nothing because they could renege on them if they wished. Such irresponsibility justified the pro-
male tilt of the law. 19th century men needed the pro-male tilt--and so do men today. "Why do
contemporary men fail to see this?"
"Women will not remain at home," says Dr. Heilbrun. Not if they can make themselves
economically independent (as they are doing) or if they can implement the feminist program of
making divorce an economically viable alternative to marriage (for women) and, after inducing
males to thrust their necks into the matrimonial guillotine, induce lawmakers to enact child
support rules "that aim at equalizing the standards of living of the two parties after divorce."
Dr. Heilbrun speaks of women's delayed "adolescence," their final growing up, postponed
beyond its proper period by the necessity of having a husband while they are nubile and
dependent and may wish to procreate a child or two. This delayed adolescence "begins with their
departure" (read: divorce), when they demonstrate their maturity by repudiating the marriage
contract upon which men and children must depend but which they and Dr. Heilbrun and the
legal system correctly perceive as a mere piece of paper.
"The man desires order and the woman desires change." The man desires a stable
patriarchal family system; the woman desires a return to matriliny and de-regulation, a return to
the sexual anarchy of the Stone Age and the ghetto and the Indian reservation. The only possible
resolution of this is to make women grow up and choose either to accept sexual regulation as the
quid pro quo for the benefits of patriarchy or to reject the benefits along with the regulation.
"The clearest memory of my wedding day," says Susan Crain Bakos,
is what was going on in my head as I walked down the aisle in my white satin dress with
the floor-length lace mantilla billowing around me: "No. No way is this going to be
forever, for the rest of my life. No."
I said "I do" because that's what young women wearing white dresses have traditionally
said in front of altars in churches. But in my mind, at least, the choices were still there.
This shows her maturity: she is passing through the adolescence that males pass through
at puberty. And the legal system agrees with her that her vows and her marriage contract are non-
binding: her choices are still there. The difference is that the male's maturity makes his contracts
dependable and Ms. Bakos's maturity makes hers undependable. The difference between these
two kinds of maturity was the reason Victorian society decreed that "the legal custody of
children belongs to the father"--and it is the reason our society ought to do the same.
I found it easy to share Kara's philosophy: Don't trust men; only sleep with them.
The experience of multiple partners led us both to the same obvious conclusion: There
would always be someone new, someone better, some other man to make love to us, so why not
leave when a relationship grew boring or difficult or too complicated? It was what men deserved
anyway.
Why limit ourselves to one man when lots of men were available?
I got divorced so that I could join the generation of women, my generation, who kept
their options open, put their own needs first, and considered sex a natural right. Together with
the men of our generation, we weren't very good at "working things out," but we were certainly
wonderful at "moving on." We knew how to break up. Our music about breaking up and moving
on was upbeat and positive. The civilized divorce was surely our invention.
"When men began talking about commitment, I got out. Making a commitment meant
marriage; and for women, marriage means giving a man too much power in your life. I
just knew I wasn't going to do it; and I was glad we lived in a time where a woman could
have sex, all the sex she wanted, without getting married.
"I thought in vague terms of having a kid someday, of being a single mother. I
didn't give up on having kids then, just marriage."
Marriage means giving men responsibility and a meaningful reproductive role and these
gals couldn't care less about male responsibility--aside from the responsibility of paying child
support money. They want to schlepp back into promiscuity, recreational sex, matriliny and the
free ride, like the squaws on Indian reservations and the welfare matriarchs of the ghettos.
The contempt for women's parasitism which Betty Friedan expressed in 1963 has now
been replaced by a demand for compensation for something Ms. Friedan never hinted at, men's
parasitism. Merely equalizing things, says Dr. Daly,
will not mean an immediate "give and take," as if those who have been deprived of their
own life should "give on a fifty- fifty basis." Since what males have to give has in large
measure been sapped from women, "the equalizing of concentrations" can hardly be
imagined as if from equal but opposite social positions. On the level of social interaction,
what has to take place is creative justice. It is not a simple transaction that is demanded,
but a restitution. It is absurd for men to look upon the relinquishing of stolen privilege as
benevolence. It is absurd also for men to protest indignantly when women speak of
wresting back our own stolen power and being.
The suggestio falsi is that "victims" are female and "relatives" and "spouse" male. But
there are as many male victims as female ones and the perpetrators protected by their "spouse"
from police interference are frequently female. Boys are twice as likely as girls to be victims of
assault (by Mom). Men often remain married to violent women out of concern to protect their
children, who, in the event of divorce, would be placed in Mom's sole custody.
A mild protest against this sort of thing is registered by British feminist Lynne Segal,
who complains that contemporary feminism "celebrates women's superior virtue and spirituality
and decries 'male' violence and technology. Such celebration of the 'female' and denunciation of
the 'male,' however, arouses fear and suspicion in feminists who, like me, recall that we joined
the women's movement to challenge the myths of women's special nature." According to the dust
wrapper of Segal's book, "She argues against the exponents of the new apocalyptic feminism,
among whom are Mary Daly, Andrea Dworkin and Dale Spender, which says that men wield
power over women through terror, greed and violence and that only women, because of their
essentially greater humanity, can save the world from social, ecological and nuclear disaster."
Today, writes Segal,
"like any Victorian gentleman, Robin Morgan, Adrienne Rich, Susan Griffin, Judith
Arcana, Mary Daly, Dale Spender and their many followers, take for granted and
celebrate women's greater humanism, pacifism, nurturance and spiritual development.
Robin Morgan tells us that only women can guarantee the future of life on earth. Ronald
Reagan and the New Right in the US and anti-feminist conservatives here in Britain tell
us much the same thing. Women can save the world from the nightmares of nuclear
weaponry, which represents the untamed force of "male drives and male sexuality,"
through the power of the feminine mentality and the force of maternal concerns.
Segal's is a minority view. As Robert Briffault truly says, "A defiant and rebellious
attitude is found in women only where they occupy a position of considerable vantage and
influence; it is not found where their status is really one of oppression." Today's feminists
occupy a position of considerable vantage and influence and they know that that position is
secure only as long as the public accepts the "myth of the monstrous male"--and the victimized
female.
Slaughtered Saints feminists have much to say about the beastliness of males, but nothing
to say about what Ms. Friedan most emphasized in 1963: "the problem that has no name,"
acedia, the ennui deriving from a lack of meaning in their existence. Acedia is a spiritual
problem, but a materialist like Ms. Friedan could conceive of it only as a problem with an
economic or occupational solution--an elitist career. She misconceived "the problem that has no
name" as not a blessing but a curse. It was a signal that a spiritual dimension was lacking in the
lives of the educated middle-class women she wrote about. "Blessed are those who feel their
spiritual need," said Jesus, "for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them." The women suffering
from the problem that has no name were in the fortunate condition of having had their other
problems solved by the patriarchal system. The acedia from which they suffered was the problem
at the very apex of the "hierarchy of needs." "Only recently," says Ms. Friedan,
have we come to accept the fact that there is an evolutionary scale or hierarchy of needs
in man (and thus in woman), ranging from the needs usually called instincts because they
are shared with animals, to needs that come later in human development. These later
needs, the needs for knowledge, for self-realization, are as instinctive, in a human sense,
as the needs shared with other animals of food, sex, survival. The clear emergence of the
later needs seems to rest upon prior satisfaction of the physiological needs. The man who
is extremely and dangerously hungry has no other interest but food. Capacities not useful
for the satisfying of hunger are pushed into the background. "But what happens to man's
desires when there is plenty of food and his belly is chronically filled? At once, other
(and higher) needs emerge and these, rather than the physiological hungers, dominate the
organism."
In a sense, this evolving hierarchy of needs moves further and further away from the
physiological level which depends on the material environment, and tends toward a level
relatively independent of the environment, more and more self- determined. But a man can be
fixated on a lower need level; higher needs can be confused or channeled into the old avenues
and may never emerge.
Ms. Friedan complains that the need for "self-actualization" has been wrongly interpreted
as a "sexual need," something she calls an "explanation by reduction." But the career-elitism
which she proposes to her female readers as the solution for the problem that has no name is
equally an explanation by reduction, equally an "evasion of growth," equally unsatisfying, as is
shown by a flood of disillusioned feminist books like A Lesser Life, Unnecessary Choices, This
Wasn't Supposed to Happen, The Divorce Revolution, Mothers on Trial, et cetera.
After pouring her contempt on the parasitism of American housewives, she proposes to
make them grow "to their full capacities," to mass-produce "self-actualizers," people like
Shakespeare, da Vinci, Lincoln, Einstein, Freud, Tolstoy. This will require a "massive attempt"
by educators, parents, ministers, magazine editors, manipulators, guidance counselors, and a "GI
Bill for Women":
What is needed now is a national educational program similar to the GI bill, for women
who seriously want to continue or resume their education--and who are willing to commit
themselves to its use in a profession. The bill would provide properly qualified women with
tuition fees, plus an additional subsidy to defray other expenses--books, travel, even, if
necessary, some household help.
A free ride for women who want to be "professionals" and demand large fees from the
people whose taxes give them their free ride. This is how liberated housewives will stand on
their own feet. How can the "seriousness" and "proper qualification" of these women be
evaluated? Clearly on the basis that they declare themselves to be serious and properly qualified
and choose to enter professionally oriented programs. In other words, idle housewives whose
taking of a free ride from their husbands is held up to scorn and whose chief motivation is
boredom with suburban lotus-eating and monogamous marriage, are to crowd into colleges and
begin a subsidized existence paid for by taxpayers mostly less affluent than themselves. The
subsidization will include funds to hire household helpers, women not serious about becoming
professionals, who need wages solely to support their families. These members of the lower
orders will live on their trickle-down benefits, far more modest than those given to Ms. Friedan's
elitists--of all classes in society the ones least deserving of, or in need of, public assistance. Their
subsidization is said to be a matter of "desperate...emergency":
Their desperate need for education and the desperate need of this nation for the untapped
reserves of women's intelligence in all the professions justify these emergency measures.
After spending most of her book talking about the immaturity of American housewives,
Ms. Friedan then compares them to male GIs, "matured by war," suggesting that "Women who
have matured during the housewife moratorium can be counted on for similar performance" --
presumably because of the influence of the feminine mystique, elsewhere said to cause their
infantilism. If the "housewife moratorium" (read: feminine mystique) is a maturing influence,
why should it not lead these women to stand on their own feet "without sexual privilege or
excuse" rather than to demand the exchange of one parasitism (on husbands) for another (on
taxpayers)? The GI Bill gave ex-servicemen some compensation for their years of service to
society. Ms. Friedan wants the same compensation for women because "society asks so little of
women" and therefore (by Ms. Friedan's logic) must pamper these Sleeping Beauties yet more,
rather than merely allowing their husbands to pamper them, which denies them independence
and dignity.
Sleeping Beauty feminism was poorly adapted to becoming a mass movement despite
Ms. Friedan's program for making it one. It was aimed at the minority of elitists whose non-
spiritual problems had been solved and who were summoned to confront the spiritual crisis
signaled by "the problem that has no name." The failure to recognize this crisis as a spiritual one
has led not to its solution but to its burial, its replacement by problems at lower levels in the
"hierarchy of needs," things like paying the rent and the utilities and coping with roleless men--
problems which have made today's Slaughtered Saints feminism what the Sleeping Beauty
feminism of a generation ago could never have been, a mass movement.
The best thing for the women's movement now would be (if it were possible) to restore
the patriarchal family and hope that it could once again solve women's lower-level needs and
bring them back to where is could be said, "Blessed are those who feel their spiritual need." Let
the Scriptures be fulfilled. The patriarchy which brought them this far couldn't carry them all the
way to moksha experience but it was the best friend women ever had.
Slaughtered Saints feminists now affect to interpret the free ride as itself an affliction, as
what feminist Jessie Bernard calls "the woman's extra load of economic dependency." She thinks
this burden "has to be lightened" because
A union between a man and a woman in which, when it breaks down, one loses not only
the mate but also the very means of subsistence is not a fair relationship.
It is not a relationship at all when it breaks down; and it breaks down chiefly because
(thanks to the feminist/sexual revolution's insistence on a woman's right to control her own
reproduction) marriage has become a non-binding contract. Women do not suffer from an "extra
load of economic dependency"; they want to hang on to the dependency or get it back again--
without having to fulfill the marital obligations which justify it. The patriarchal system benefits
women by marriage. The feminist program of wrecking the patriarchy aims to make it provide
the same benefits outside marriage, thereby destroying marriage, the family, the male role and
the whole patriarchal system--and restoring matriliny. The only way for men to restore the
patriarchy is to insist that there shall be no free ride outside of marriage and the acceptance of
sexual regulation--no alimony, no child support payments, no affirmative action and comparable
worth programs, no quotas, no goals-and-timetables. To be independent means not to be
dependent.
The welfare system...should be replaced with a system under which single parents would
be earners, but would have government guarantees of child support payments out of the earnings
of the other parent, health care, and high quality child care.
Wages Due Lesbians [is] an independent group of lesbian women who organize within
Wages for Housework, particularly in regard to custody. Wages for Housework is an
international organization fighting for money for all women so that they can lead independent
lives.
Benefits for divorced, separated, and never-married mothers and their children could be
made more similar to benefits to widows either by increasing benefit levels or by making
benefits available to single mothers regardless of income.
For women as a group, the future holds terrifying insecurity: We are increasingly
dependent on our own resources, but in a society and an economy that never intended to admit us
as independent persons, much less as breadwinners for others.
The fact that women are overwhelmingly the caretakers of children is a key determinant
of their secondary economic status. Whether within the two-parent family unit or in a single-
parent family, women, for the most part, provide the nurturing, the day-to-day care, the hands-on
childrearing.
The currently fashionable program for attaining this de- regulation is the subject of the
following chapter, the program of casting themselves into poverty and squalor and dragging
"their" children with them--and exhibiting the resulting predicament as proving their need to be
rescued.
Chapter V
The Mutilated Beggar Argument
In Cairo there exists a cottage industry which mutilates children to be used as beggars.
The more gruesome and pitiable the mutilations, the more the beggars will earn. The disfigured
children are placed on mats on street corners with a begging bowl and they ask for alms for the
love of Allah.
The almsgiver is doing a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing is paying for the
child's next meal. The bad thing is ensuring that more children will be mutilated.
The Mutilated Beggar technique is employed extensively in the contemporary war over
the family. Ex-wives drag their children into poverty and then point to their sufferings as proving
the need for ex-husbands or the welfare system to bail them out. The father (or taxpayer) who
bails out Mom and the kids is doing a good thing--providing rent and food money--and a bad
thing--subsidizing the destruction of this family and encouraging the mass divorce which is
wrecking millions of others--in effect, undermining the patriarchy and restoring matriliny.
Here's a nineteenth century example. Ella May Wiggins, a factory worker with nine
fatherless children, wrote "The Mill Mother's Lament" to exhibit her suffering and that of her
children:
Suppose Wiggins's problem were dealt with at the highest level. Suppose that (as in
communist countries) there were a law against unemployment. Nobody would ever be destitute.
Wiggins might think this would be a desirable reordering of society. So would a lot of feminists.
It would greatly weaken, perhaps eventually destroy, the patriarchal system, making husbands
unessential as family providers, making female chastity superfluous, since it would no longer be
essential to reassure fathers and husbands concerning the integrity of their families. Sexually
responsible behavior would be unnecessary. A reordering of society which would make mothers
of nine fatherless children economically independent would pretty well shatter social
arrangements, including the family. Incentives for divorce, for male abandonment of families, for
the creation of female-headed families would be multiplied. There would be far more cases like
Wiggins's and far fewer resources for bailing them out. Children would be at greater risk of
delinquency and the other ills mentioned in Chapter I.
The fact is that in the general case (even if not in Wiggins's case) mothers and children
are better served by the patriarchal system than by any other. The reason was well explained a
century ago by Herbert Spencer, who showed how two very different principles operate within
and outside of the family--"the law that during immature life benefit received must be great in
proportion as worth is small, while during mature life benefit and worth must vary together."
Wiggins would abolish the distinction and have "the bosses" run their competitive business as
though it were a family in which the bosses functioned as parents--much as New York's
Governor Cuomo believes government should be a "family" for its citizens. The resulting social
structure would come to resemble the Stone Age matriclan described in Chapter II. The
matriclan creates little wealth and expends that little in keeping everyone marginally afloat. In it,
the intense motivation created by the nuclear family is lost. Wiggins's hope is that the wealth will
continue to be generated somehow and that she can corner her share of it by employing the
Mutilated Beggar Argument to lay a guilt-trip on "the bosses." The system works poorly to
generate wealth.
It will be useful to give one or two additional illustrations of the Mutilated Beggar
Principle.
Feminist Marilyn French, while rejoicing over women's new- found liberation, complains
of some of the economic problems accompanying it:
Old codes of marriage, divorce, sexuality, and child rearing have broken down,
but the consequences of this breakdown have been mixed.
Here are the good things resulting from the breakdown of the "old codes," meaning the
patriarchal sexual constitution:
People can escape from unhappy marriages, they can use their sexuality as they choose
on the whole.
At the same time, men are displaying an irresponsibility about their children that is
equivalent in self-hatred to terrorist murder--for are not our children expressions of
ourselves? Women and children are the new poor, and a growing class.
It is "good" that women can escape from their marriages and be promiscuous ("use their
sexuality as they choose"); but this wrecking of the marriage contract, which deprives the man of
legitimate children, takes away his motivation for supporting Mom and her kids--for "our"
children means Mom's children, taken away from Dad. Strange reasoning, this, which ignores the
obvious causal connection between the breakdown of the sexual constitution, women's escape
from marriage and their using their sexuality as they choose ("good" things) and the male
rolelessness resulting from this female de-regulation. Why should a man be condemned and
compared to a terrorist murderer for no longer performing a role of which he has been deprived?
Why is it not rather the irresponsibility of the woman or the divorce court judge which is to be
condemned for exiling the children's provider? This is like disbanding the fire and police
departments and blaming them for not putting out fires and preventing robberies, like refusing to
pay the rent and blaming the landlord for expelling his tenants, like placing children in the
father's custody and blaming Mom for not coming to his home to do his laundry, mop his floors
and prepare his meals.
Another. The Irish Law Reform Commission has proposed that the concept of
"illegitimacy" should be abolished, since it is unjust to deny rights to innocent illegitimate
children in order to benefit legitimate ones. It is the institution of marriage which protects
"innocent" children from the disadvantages imposed upon them by the irresponsibility of
unchaste parents; and if there are no "illegitimate" children, there can be no "legitimate" ones--
since either term is meaningless except in reference to the other-- and fathers will no longer
provide their offspring with the benefits formerly conferred by two-parent families. What is
intended to benefit the child-victims creates more of them and maximizes their miseries, since
fatherless children really are disadvantaged as the evidence given in the Annex to Chapter I
shows.
One woman, in describing her own feelings about being a minority in her field, provided
an image that could help men understand the difficulties: "Imagine that your lawyer, your doctor,
your priest, rabbi or minister, your senator and representative, your mayor, the president of your
institution, most of its trustees, almost all of the deans and most of your colleagues were all
women. How would you feel?"
A man would feel awful--like one of the millions of black youths standing around street
corners in the ghettos, or like drifters on Skid Row, or prisoners in jail who see themselves
excluded from all high status occupations. The complaining lady implies that there should be
affirmative action to place her and her sisters in 51 percent of high status positions--but not in 51
percent of the far more numerous low status positions. The price a man pays for being one of the
high status winners is accepting the chance of being one of the losers--a chance which is no part
of any feminist program for helping women. Women already have "equal opportunity" to
compete for the high status positions; what they now want is an affirmative action program to
confer 51 percent of the high status positions on women without them risking the fall into the
low-status positions, where real competition would place many of them.
Today there are millions of women caught in the Custody Trap (to be discussed in the
following chapter), deprived of the economic security formerly given them by the patriarchal
system. These millions of losers are an embarrassment to the feminist movement which is chiefly
responsible for their predicament, but which would like them to believe they are victimized by
having been compelled to make the "choice" of which feminists write so much: women, they
say, were pressured by the sexist patriarchy into being "just a housewife," which was the reason
so few of them ever became senators or corporation executives--but also, not incidentally, why
so few of them ever became jailbirds or Skid Row bums. The solution, Ms. Friedan told them,
was for them to repudiate the "choice," to liberate themselves to become elitists like Mr. Friedan
herself, a magnum cum laude from Smith, who writes best- selling books. Trouble was most of
the women thus liberated were not magnum cum laude or magnum cum talent or magnum cum
chutzpah or magnum cum luck and they were unwanted on the talk shows. They ended up as
waitresses or salesgirls or on welfare and discovered that their role in the feminist system was
not to be Joan-of-Arc's like Ms. Friedan, but to be humble Mutilated Beggars whose afflictions
could be pointed to as proving the need for more feminism and larger subventions from ex-
husbands and from the Backup System--so that they could "stand on their own feet."
Charlotte Bunch complains about divorced women not getting as much of their ex-
husbands' paychecks as they did during marriage: "No-fault divorce laws sounds like equality,
but since male and female incomes are not equal and many women have worked for husbands for
years, these laws cut off some women's badly needed and justified right to alimony."
The wives have been working for the husbands, as she says. But the husbands have also
been working for the wives. The wife's withdrawal of her services by divorce ends the husband's
reciprocal obligations; and if the husband's income is greater, that proves the desirability of
having a husband, not the justice of reducing an ex-husband to bondage. If being in need
(Mutilated Beggar argument) were enough to ensure the subsidization of ex-wives by ex-
husbands, marriage would become superfluous except as a preliminary to divorce. Female
economic need is one of the chief props of marriage. Meeting this need by divorce arrangements
means subsidizing ex- wives simply because they are female--a reductio ad absurdum of Betty
Friedan's insistence that American wives should stop being parasites, stand on their own feet
"and compete without sexual privilege or excuse." If a wife is a parasite for taking a virtually
free ride on the back of her husband, an ex-wife who takes a free ride on the back of an ex-
husband, for whom she performs no reciprocal services whatever, is trebly parasitic. The female-
headed families which seek to exploit the Mutilated Beggar argument are the source of most
social pathology. Feminists aver that this pathology results from the poverty of these families,
the cure for which is more of somebody else's money. But better subsidization of female-headed
families would mean more female-headed families, more crime, more illegitimacy and the rest of
the ills cited in Chapter I. The alternative to the female-headed family is not a better- funded
female-headed family but the patriarchal family, which produces not only more money but less
crime, more stability and higher achieving offspring. The props needed to make the patriarchal
family once again normative could be easily restored-- the father's control over his paycheck and
society's guarantee of father custody in the event of divorce. Father custody would mean few
husbands would divorce their wives, knowing that without them they would be overburdened
with a double role of breadwinning and child care. It would mean few wives would divorce their
husbands, knowing that divorce would cost them their children and their standard of living. It
would place economic and psychological motivations on the side of marriage instead of pitting
them against marriage.
Father-custody was formerly the accepted arrangement. The first feminists, meeting at
Seneca Falls in 1848, made it one of their chief complaints that in cases of divorce fathers
automatically got custody of their children. The family stability created by this presumption of
father custody was a major reason for the progress and achievement of the Victorian era.
Would women accept it? Yes, as they did in the 19th century, because it would stabilize
marriage. Mary Ann Mason, writing in her recent book The Equality Trap says, "Something has
gone very wrong with the lives of women. Women are working much harder than they have
worked in recent history, they are growing steadily poorer, and they are suffering the brutality of
divorce at an unprecedented rate....I fear that the present trajectory of women's lives is aiming
toward a bleak future. I see my daughter...and her generation living alone most of their adult
lives in small efficiency apartments. There are few children in this dreary vision. Women have
given up on having children, not because they have committed themselves to career, but because
they have learned too well from my generation that women cannot depend upon marriage to last
the duration of child-raising. They have learned that mothers get stuck with an exhausting burden
of work at home and in the marketplace."
But whether women would accept the patriarchal system or not, men must insist upon it--
insist that the implementation of the marriage contract shall be on the basis of the wording of the
contract itself. They must get back to fundamentals, must insist that they enter into the marriage
contract primarily to procreate legitimate and inalienable children. They must reject the socially
destructive idea, now accepted as a matter of course by women, lawmakers and judges, that the
purpose of marriage is to provide women with ex-husbands.
Chapter VI
The Custody Trap
"For many women," says feminist Dr. Alice Rossi, "the personal outcome of experience
in the parent role is not a higher level of maturation but the negative outcome of a depressed
sense of self- worth, if not actual personality deterioration." "The heart of woman's oppression,"
says Shulamith Firestone, "is her childbearing and childrearing roles." The predicament of these
mothers is trebly pitiable when they are single heads of families. Single mothers complain
especially of poverty--theirs and that of the children they drag into the Custody Trap to keep
them company and give them a "role." They aver that the patriarchal family is a prison for the
mother; but the mother is far more restricted, impoverished and miserable in a female-headed
family, with reduced income and no partner to share responsibilities with. There exists a medium
sized library of books with titles like Women and Children Last, Poor Women, Poor Families,
and Working Your Way to the Bottom: The Feminization of Poverty, whose message is that
society must do something to rescue single mothers. The overriding concern of this literature is
the need for more money for Mom, so that her mother-love may have the wherewithal required
for its proper functioning. No question, the poverty is a problem. According to Betty Friedan,
"Statistics indicate that a child in a family now in poverty, headed by a man, has a fifty-fifty
chance of getting out of poverty by his or her maturity--but that a child in a poverty family
headed by a woman has no chance." Divorced women, according to MS. magazine, have the
lowest household incomes of any group of women. "Worldwide," according to Kathleen
Newland, "between one-quarter and one-third of all families are supported by women; and
worldwide, these families are leading candidates for poverty and hardship."
But poverty is not the only problem, or the worst. 80 percent of children in psychiatric
clinics come from female-headed homes. Single women family heads have the highest rate of
disease compared to all other women, far higher than the never married. They report "less
satisfaction with their lives than Americans in any other marital status, including widows and
women who had never married."
Writing of the problems of female heads of families, Barbara Gelpi, Nancy Hartsock,
Clare Novak and Myra Strober say, "Associated with such extreme hardship is the high
incidence both of health problems and of troubles with older children among these families." The
same point is made by Deborah K. Zinn and Rosemary Sarri:
Women also encountered a variety of serious problems with their older children. More
than one-third were called to school in 1982 for special conferences, and 21 percent
reported that their children had been suspended at least once. A small number of children
had been expelled, referred to the juvenile court, committed to institutions, and/or
victimized by crime. The numbers, although small, exceeded those one would expect to
observe in an average family.
Girls in female-headed homes have more problems in sex role and personality
development and in handling aggression. Father- deprived sons frequently exhibit aggressive
behavior, lack of social responsibility, a variety of intellectual defects, high delinquency
potential, tendencies toward homosexuality, difficulties in interpersonal relations and low need
for achievement. More than one third of the children from female- headed homes drop out of
school.
Divorce researchers Judith Wallerstein and Joan Kelly were struck with the pervasive
sadness they encountered among 6-to-8- year-olds in female-headed families--a sadness not
seldom transformed into rage at the mothers. E. Mavis Hetherington found that mothers in
father-absent homes have more psychiatric symptoms than mothers in intact homes. According
to Patricia Paskowicz, one-third of children of divorce living with their fathers seem pleased with
their situation, compared with only one- tenth of those living with their mothers. Women heads
of families are less marriageable. "I am a nice- looking, 28-year-old divorced woman," one of
them writes to Dear Abby. "I have no trouble getting dates, but my problem is that every man I
date runs to the nearest exit when I tell him I have three kids....The last four men I dated seemed
interested in me-- until I told them I had three children. After that I never heard from them
again." A child living in a female-headed home is ten times more likely to be beaten or
murdered. According to USA Today, while working married women have the best health of any
group of women, single mothers, working or unemployed, have the poorest. According to Irma
Moilanen and Paula Rantakallio, fatherless children are much more likely to develop psychiatric
problems--boys three times as likely, girls four times. According to Sara McLanahan and Larry
Bumpass, Women who were raised in female-headed families are 53 percent likelier to have
teenage marriages, 111 percent likelier to have teenage births, 164 percent likelier to have
premarital births, 92 percent likelier to experience marital disruptions.
Betty Friedan believes that society asks "little" of women. The little refers most
importantly to the obligation of wives to bear legitimate children. A wife's reneging on this
obligation ought to forfeit her right to subsidization and social approval. The primary reason for
marriage, formerly made explicit in the priest's instructions to the groom and bride in the
marriage ceremony in the Book of Common Prayer, is the procreation of children. Men
undertake the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood primarily for the purpose of
procreating these children, who are properly called "legitimate" by reason of having a father and
because society, in order that it may not be burdened with the social costs described in the
foregoing paragraphs, recognizes the importance of their having a father. The social crisis
indicated by the title of the present book and the social pathology indicated in Chapter I have
resulted from the failure of the legal system to safeguard the Legitimacy Principle.
The high correlation between crime and fatherless families is indisputable. According to
the Los Angeles Times,
The nation's prison population jumped by a record 46,004 inmates in the first six months
of 1989, for a total of 673,565 men and women behind bars, the Bureau of Justice
Statistics said. The increase broke the record not only for half-year increases but also was
higher than any annual increase recorded during the 64 years the government has counted
prisoners, the bureau said. The 7.3% surge in prison population during the first half of
1989 was brought about by increases of 7% in the number of men imprisoned and 13% in
the number of women, the bureau said. Since 1980, the number of state and federal
prisoners serving sentences of more than one year--known as sentenced prisoners--more
than doubled from 315,974.
Not much can be done now about the damaged lives of the mostly fatherless children
who grow up to become these incarcerated prisoners, or the less damaged lives of the larger
numbers who avoid incarceration. These less-damaged people survive the high-crime ages, 14-
to-24, and enter middle age as underachieving, confused, unhappy adults, permanent semi-
casualties with weakened families of their own. What needs to be done is to stop the flow of
messed-up kids through the pipeline running from the divorce courts and into female-headed
families, through pathological childhoods into disruptive adolescence and demoralized
adulthood--the process now in full swing and programmed to continue into the next Garbage
Generation in the 21st century.
The failure of the judges and policymakers responsible for most of these female-headed
families to understand their responsibility for them and for the disruption, crime, demoralization
and illegitimacy they produce derives from the disastrous but natural mistake of supposing that
because the female-headed family form is biologically based, whereas the father-headed family
form is merely a social creation, society ought to support the biologically based form by
choosing Mom for custodian of the children in case of divorce. They cannot grasp the idea that
the reproductive pattern found among lower animals is unsuitable for humans.
The fact is that the family, like the civilization it makes possible, is an artificial creation.
Civilization is artificial. And fragile. Patriarchal civilization came into existence when men
became equal sharers in human reproduction. The biological marginality of the male required
that this sharing should be buttressed by artificial social supports, the most important being
society's recognition of fathers as heads of families. The present destruction of the father-headed
family is felt to be justified by the sacredness of motherhood, which causes judges and
lawmakers to acquiesce when women demand that their marriages be terminated and that they be
made heads of families. Female headship of families is disastrous. Mom, whose role is a
biological fact, doesn't need society's props; Dad, whose role is a social creation, does. Society
must use the strength of the mother-infant tie not as a lever for wrecking the two-parent family,
but as a prop for preserving it--by guaranteeing to the father the headship of his family and the
custody of his children. Then mothers, knowing that divorce will separate them from their
children and from Dad's paycheck, will reconcile themselves to accepting the patriarchal, two-
parent family arrangement. Marriage will be stabilized. There will be no feminization of poverty,
no general acceptance of the female-headed family and its social pathology. By society's
guarantee of father custody the roles of both spouses are re-affirmed, children are brought up in
two-parent families, and society can hope for the kind of stability, creativity and productivity
found in societies with stable families, societies such as that of the Victorian age and
contemporary Japan. When Margaret Mead speaks of the female role as a biological fact she
refers to the mammalian female role. The female role in patriarchal, civilized society is every bit
as artificial as the male role. "What is now called the nature of women," wrote John Stuart Mill
in 1869, is an eminently artificial thing." He meant the nature of patriarchally socialized women.
What is called the nature of man is, in patriarchal society, equally artificial. Mill himself was an
artificial thing--if he hadn't been, his books wouldn't be worth reading. Civilization is an artificial
thing, something men and women chafe under, as Freud explained in Civilization and Its
Discontents, because civilization is built on repression and frustration--and the toleration of
frustration, a toleration motivated by the sexual law-and-order of family living which ties
sexuality to long-term goals, to the past and the future, to ancestors and descendants, to home
and children. There is no way to motivate males to accept the coercion-imposed frustration
feminists and the divorce courts want to inflict on them by compelling them to subsidize ex-
families, and that is the reason why, in the words of Louis Roussel,
What we have seen between 1965 and the present, among the billion or so people who
inhabit the industrialized nations, is...a general upheaval in the whole set of demographic
indicators.
In barely twenty years, the birth rate and the marriage rate have tumbled, while divorces
and illegitimate births have increased rapidly. All these changes have been substantial, with
increases or decreases of more than fifty percent. They have also been sudden, since the process
of change has only lasted about fifteen years. And they have been general, because all
industrialized countries have been affected beginning around 1965.
What's in it for women? Stable marriage and its economic and status advantages. The
task of the patriarchy is (1) to convince women that these advantages are the quid pro quo they
get for participation in the patriarchal system (acceptance of sexual law- and-order, sharing their
reproductive lives with men) and are not otherwise obtainable; (2) to convince lawmakers and
judges that they must support the patriarchal family rather than trying to create a divorce-
alternative to it.
This divorce-alternative, this disastrous idea now held by the legal system (and of course
by feminists) that divorce ought to provide ex-wives with the same benefits that marriage
provides to wives, is the chief underminer of patriarchy. "The idea of compensatory payment,"
says Mary Ann Glendon in discussing the French synonym for alimony,
is to remedy "so far as possible" the disparity which the termination of marriage may
create in the respective living conditions of the spouses....It depends on the establishment
of the fact of a disparity between the situations of the ex- spouses, and its aim is to enable
both of them to live under approximately equivalent material conditions.
The idea of the "compensatory payment" is to transfer money from the possession of the
male who earns it to the possession of a female who does not earn it and who has no claim to it
other than her status as a Mutilated Beggar. "Compensatory" for what? For the withdrawal of the
services which during marriage justified her enjoyment of a 73 percent higher standard of living?
Why doesn't her withdrawal of services justify the husband in withdrawing his services? Why
should they both live "under approximately equivalent material conditions"? Why should there
not be a "disparity" in their incomes, since the ex-husband earns his income and the ex-wife does
nothing which entitles her to share his earnings? Vive la disparite! This "disparity" is the
principal reason she married him. Patriarchal civilization is built on this disparity. The male
devotes the greater part of his energies to creating this disparity, believing that it will make him
attractive to females and that by offering it to one of them he can induce her to share her
reproductive life with him and thereby enable him to create a family and procreate legitimate and
inalienable children who will benefit from this disparity by having a higher standard of living
and by receiving the patriarchal socialization which will civilize them--make them stable and
law- abiding and educationally successful. It is thus that patriarchal society puts sex to work to
motivate males to create wealth and social stability--the wealth and stability which feminists and
the legal system are undermining in order to liberate women and return society to matriliny. The
disparity which feminists and the courts want to get rid of is virtually synonymous with the
wealth of society which they want to latch onto. They imagine that eliminating the disparity
means raising the standard of living of women rather than lowering the standard of living of
everybody. There exists no such disparity in ghettos and on Indian reservations because the
males in ghettos and on Indian reservations have no bargaining power and no motivation to
acquire it by work and self-discipline. They lack the frustration- tolerance which sexual law-and-
order and dedication to family living make endurable. They are willing to accept the one-night
stands and the stud-status which their women are willing to offer them. And so, alas, are
increasing numbers of males in the larger society. And policy-makers, lawmakers and judges are
willing to re-order society to make it conform to this matrilineal pattern which makes men studs
instead of fathers. And this is why there is a Garbage Generation.
authorized compensation (sometimes very substantial) for such harms allegedly resulting
from the divorce as the loss of esteem suffered by a divorced person, loneliness, or the
loss of social position by one who has become accustomed to a high standard of living.
The divorced person referred to is the female. She is deprived of her high standard of
living. But the ex-husband is equally deprived of his ex-wife's reciprocal services, presumed to
be of equal value to the high standard of living he bestowed on her--or else why was she entitled
to the high standard of living? If each is deprived, and if the deprivations are of equal value, why
is the woman entitled to compensation and the man not?
In West Germany things are much the same: support of the ex- wife "is to be determined
with reference to the marital standard of living." In other words: (1) the ex-husband is penalized
by the ex-wife's withdrawal of her services; (2) the ex-wife is rewarded (at the ex-husband's
expense) for withdrawing them. Compensation for services rendered is replaced by
compensation for services withdrawn. If the woman is to be liberated, the man must be doubly
penalized. This is the upshot of the feminist movement which a generation ago told the American
housewife to stop taking a free ride on her husband's back, to give up her parasitism, to be
independent, to stand on her own feet and face life's challenges on her own without "special
privileges because of her sex...without sexual privilege or excuse."
The woman is said to be entitled to compensation because she suffers from divorce. She
should suffer from divorce. The man suffers more, because judges discriminate massively
against him in order to ease the suffering of the woman. "In terms of mental and physical disease
and life expectancy," says George Gilder, "divorce damages the man far more than the woman."
To say that divorce hurts women is to say that marriage benefits women. Marriage should and
must benefit women. This is what gives men bargaining power and therefore motivation. This is
why they are willing to toil to create their families' (and society's) wealth, why their energies and
talents can be directed into useful channels rather than disrupting society as they do where
families are headed by women. The feminist/legal program to supply women with comparable
benefits from divorce is destroying the whole patriarchal system, which works by encouraging
men to earn money so that they have something to offer women in exchange for their accepting
sexual of law-and-order. Men must have something which will induce women to live in
patriarchal, two-parent families--that something being the disparity between men's and women's
earnings. Patriarchy makes this disparity the great bulwark of family stability. The feminist/legal
program wants to convert this disparity into a means whereby the patriarchal two-parent family
may be destroyed.
Chapter VII
The Gilder Fallacy
"The crucial process of civilization," says George Gilder, "is the subordination of male
sexual impulses and biology to the long- term horizons of female sexuality. The overall sexual
behavior of women in the modern world differs relatively little from the sexual life of women in
primitive societies. It is male behavior that must be changed to create a civilized order."
Sexual regulation may take unsubtle forms--enforced wearing of veils and chadors, the
confinement of women to gynecia, mutilation of female sexual organs, wearing of chastity belts
and so forth. In more sophisticated societies the control is internalized and leads to feminist
complaints such as the following from Peggy Morgan:
We're really out of control of our sexuality when we see our desires as dirty and
troublesome....This leaves us open to being controlled from the outside--letting others
(especially men) convince us that we want what they want us to want.
Here, from John Dollard's Caste and Class in a Southern Town, is an example of such
manipulative regulation "from the outside"-- males persuading females that they are really
regulating themselves:
One of the rituals of the university dances is that of a fraternity of young blades
entitled the Key-Ice. During the intermission the lights are turned out and these men
march in carrying flaming brands. At the end of the procession four acolytes attend a long
cake of ice. Wheeled in on a cart it glimmers in the torches' flare. Then the leader,
mounted on a table in the center of the big gymnasium, lifts a glass cup of water and
begins a toast that runs: "To Woman, lovely woman of the Southland, as pure and as
chaste as this sparkling water, as cold as this gleaming ice, we lift this cup, and we pledge
our hearts and our lives to the protection of her virtue and chastity."
For "protection" Peggy Morgan would (correctly) read enforcing.
There can be no civilization without the regulation of female sexuality. As Dr. Gerda
Lerner says in discussing the creation of the system of patriarchal civilization, "The [ancient]
state had an essential interest in the maintenance of the patriarchal family....Women's sexual
subordination was institutionalized in the earliest law codes and enforced by the full power of the
state. Women's cooperation in the system was secured by various means: force, economic
dependency on the male head of the family, class privileges bestowed upon conforming and
dependent women of the upper classes, and the artificially created division of women into
respectable and non-respectable women." Dr. Lerner's wording acknowledges the fact,
unrecognized by Gilder, that the Sexual Constitution is a male idea imposed upon females.
"Social and ethnological facts," says Robert Briffault,
afford no evidence that the influence of woman has ever been exercised in the direction
of extending sexual restrictions and tabus, and of imposing chastity on men....Feminine
morality consists in unquestioning assent to established estimates and usages....Feminine
conservatism defends polygamy and sexual freedom as staunchly as it does monogamy
and morality.
Those achievements which constitute what, in the best sense, we term civilization [says
Briffault] have taken place in societies organized on patriarchal principles; they are for
the most part the work of men. Women have had little direct share in them.
Precisely the opposite of Gilder's view that "civilization evolved through the
subordination of male sexual patterns--the short-term cycles of tension and release--to the long-
term female patterns." "In creating civilization," says Gilder,
women transform male lust into love; channel male wanderlust into jobs, homes, and
families; link men to specific children; rear children into citizens; change hunters into
fathers, divert male will to power into a drive to create. Women conceive the future that
men tend to fell; they feed the children that men ignore.
Why, if so, didn't civilization precede patriarchy and the regulation of female sexuality?
This regulation was the precondition enabling males to create stable families from which they
could not be expelled. The earlier matriarchal pattern is this: "The women are not obliged to live
with their husbands any longer than suits their pleasure or conscience...." In such a society
women, including married women, are sexually autonomous and the men can do nothing about
it. That's the way women prefer things. When Ann Landers asked her female readers whether
they would, if they had the chance over again, make the decision to become mothers, 70 percent
said no. Alexandre Dumas, in Les Femmes Qui Tuent, writes that a distinguished Roman
Catholic priest had told him that eighty out of one hundred women who married told him
afterwards that they regretted it. These women were not trying to impose the Sexual Constitution
upon men; they were trying to escape from its control over their own lives. "In the most
primitive human societies," says Briffault,
In primitive societies the loose bonds of matrimony permit much sexual freedom and
women outside of these loose bonds enjoy total promiscuity. Briffault again:
In all uncultured societies, where advanced retrospective claims have not become
developed, and the females are not regularly betrothed or actually married before they have
reached the age of puberty, girls and women who are not married are under no restrictions as to
their sexual relations, and are held to be entirely free to dispose of themselves as they please in
that respect. To that rule there does not exist any known exception.
"Civilized society," says Gilder, "is not more natural than more degenerate social states.
It represents a heroic transcendence of the most powerful drives of men." Civilized society is far
less natural than primitive society. That's why the Stone Age lasted a million years and
civilization has lasted only a few thousand. Civilization represents a heroic transcendence of the
most powerful drives of women--the imposition upon them of male regulation. "The female
responsibility for civilization," Gilder says,
cannot be granted or assigned to men. Unlike a woman, a man has no civilized role or
agenda inscribed in his body. Although his relationship to specific children can give him
a sense of futurity resembling the woman's, it always must come through her body and
her choices. The child can never be his unless a woman allows him to claim it with her or
unless he so controls her and so restricts her sexual activity that he can be sure that he is
the father.
Not unlike, but like a woman, a man has no civilized role or agenda inscribed in his body.
A woman's reproductive mechanism, like a woman's arms and legs, may be used for civilized or
for uncivilized purposes, and the same is true of the man's reproductive mechanism and his arms
and legs. Civilization depends on what is in peoples' minds, and the "choices" made in women's
minds during the million years of the Stone Age were the same as they are among sexually
unregulated women of today who demand the "sacred right to control their own reproduction"
without male interference. A sense of futurity "always must come through her body and her
choices," says Gilder. But it didn't come until "The Creation of Patriarchy" imposed male control
and largely confined female sexuality within patriarchal families.
"Depending chiefly on the degree that the wanton male sex drive succumbs to maternal
goals and rhythms," says Gilder,
any society is capable of a variety of sexual states. Civilized and productive societies
reflect the long-term disciplines of female nature, upheld by religious and marital codes.
Upheld by male-created religious and marital codes. Hear how feminist Adrienne Rich
feels about these codes:
These are some of the methods by which male power is manifested and maintained.
Looking at the schema, what surely impresses itself is the fact that we are confronting not a
simple maintenance of inequality and property possession, but a pervasive cluster of forces,
ranging from physical brutality to control of consciousness, which suggests that an enormous
potential counterforce is having to be restrained.
Feminist Marilyn French contrasts the different way things are done in the matriarchy
and in the patriarchy:
But "feminine" cultures do not work like "masculine" cultures. "Masculine" cultures aim
at success (power, control), are concerned with rules and techniques and instrumentality.
"Feminine" cultures are concerned with affection, bonding, cooperation, with being and
being-together.
Gilder's "civilized and productive societies" are French's "masculine" societies, which,
apart from the wealth they generate, feminists would fain do away with, since they correctly
perceive the current sexual encounter as a "struggle for our reproductive rights--for our sexuality,
our children and the money we need." The women best able to resist this patriarchal interference,
educated career women, commonly reject the role which Gilder supposes all women to cherish.
"Highly educated women," says Marie Richmond-Abbott,
are more likely to remain childless than are women with less education...Thus, women
who are highly educated and more likely to have careers are less likely to want children
because of perceived conflict with their work roles.
It is such women who ask "Where are the men for women like us, men who can deal with
women like us...?" "Are they threatened by our new power--or just afraid that we won't need
them?" What these autonomous women want is not, as Gilder supposes, to impose their long-
term sexual horizons upon males, but to share the male freedom from maternity and regulation.
"They envied their husbands who did not have to make similar compromises," says Richmond-
Abbott.
An article in the December 4, 1988 Los Angeles Times Magazine, dealing with the
lifestyle of six Los Angeles women who "had it all," "the personal stories of six women who
have found success," indicated that the six women had altogether a total of two children, both
offspring of one woman married to a househusband and employing a full-time live-in
housekeeper. A 1985 survey showed that executive females--of all women those most at liberty
to be their true selves and exhibit "long- term disciplines of female nature" (if they have them)--
were three-fourths divorced or single, and that only 20 percent of them were in their first
marriages (versus 64 percent of male executives who were in their first marriages.) Ms. Friedan
interprets such female independence as showing that money is a "love-spoiler." She is thinking
of men's money as inhibiting women's promiscuity. From the man's point of view, it is the
woman's money which is the love-spoiler, or at least the marriage and maternity spoiler. It is the
man's aim to integrate love, marriage and maternity into family life, using the male paycheck as
the binder; but these economically and sexually emancipated women are able to use their own
paychecks to avoid such commitment to marriage and maternity. The birthrate of such women is
minuscule, their divorce rate is far higher than that of economically dependent wives, as is their
adultery rate, otherwise known as "a woman's right to control her own body." The answer to the
question "Where are the men for women like us?" is that there aren't many, because most men
want families--because it is men, not women, or not autonomous women, who have the long-
term sexual horizons.
If men are not deflected from such women by their statistics for divorce and adultery,
they might be deflected by those on coronary heart disease. According to the Framingham Heart
Study, men married to women with thirteen or more years of education were 2.6 times more
likely to have coronaries. If these women are in addition liberated to work outside the home the
men are 7.6 times more likely to have coronaries.
Men ought to avoid such women as they avoid the plague, the Internal Revenue Service,
nuclear waste and low-density lipoproteins. Understandably, feminists and house-males hold a
different view. Hear one of them, Professor Herb Goldberg:
Finally, the best insurance against losing everything to a wife in a divorce or custody
battle is the choice of a woman partner who delights in her own separate identity, has a
history of relating to men by taking equal responsibility, does not see women as victims
of men, and has created a fulfilling autonomous life for herself prior to meeting you.
Worse advice for a man who wants a family would be hard to find. "Women," says Marie
Richmond-Abbott, and she means elitist career-women,
have been delaying marriage, getting higher education, and entering nontraditional jobs.
They have come to marriage with their own incomes and ideas of equality. They want
fewer children and demand more power in their families. Women are participating more
in the occupational world and in politics. While it will be difficult for poor women to
follow this pattern, middle-class women who have established it are unlikely to give it up.
As will be explained in Chapter IX, these women have climbed the "marriage gradient": their
education and economic independence (both major goals of feminism) put them where there are
few men to "marry up" to. They are less likely to marry, less likely to procreate, more likely to
divorce, more likely to be unfaithful, more likely to settle for "alternative life styles." Their
redeeming virtue, as indicated, is their low birthrate. "If sex role change is to occur at the
individual level," says Ms. Richmond-Abbott (and you can believe she is working in her
academic grove to facilitate such change),
men and women would have to socialize their children in a different manner. They would
have to be aware of their own expectations and of their behavior toward their children,
and they would have to monitor the environment in which their children grow and play so
that it is nonsexist.
She offers the familiar suggestions about non-sexist toys and non-sexist socialization, so
that boys will be encouraged to be nurses, elementary school teachers and airline attendants, girls
to be astronauts, soldiers and policepersons. Males will vacate the family-provider role to enable
females to take it over, while the liberated women vacate their traditional role as housewives and
mothers, turning these functions over to the lower orders and the pigmented races.
Her very body, her whole being, tells her that she will have to make long-term
commitments to children, that her life is not something that runs from moment to
moment, from one momentary pleasure or intrigue to another, but that she is engaged in a
larger purpose that extends into the future.
Why doesn't the female body convey this useful information to the one and one-half
million women who abort their unwanted pregnancies every year?
Here is an episode from Kate Chopin's feminist classic The Awakening describing her
heroine and her lover and illustrating female resentment over male regulation:
"Why have you been fighting against it?" she asked. Her face glowed with soft lights.
"Why? Because you were not free; you were Leonce Pontellier's wife....Something put
into my head that you cared for me; and I lost my senses. I forgot everything but a wild
dream of your some way becoming my wife."
"Your wife!"
"Religion, loyalty, everything would give way if only you cared....Oh! I was demented,
dreaming of wild, impossible things, recalling men who had set their wives free, we have
heard of such things."
"You have been a very, very foolish boy, wasting your time dreaming of impossible
things when you speak of Mr. Pontellier setting me free! I am no longer one of Mr.
Pontellier's possessions to dispose of or not. I give myself where I choose. If he were to
say, 'Here, Robert, take her and be happy; she is yours,' I should laugh at you both."
"I love you," she whispered, "only you; no one but you. It was you who awoke me last
summer out of a life-long, stupid dream. Oh! you have made me so unhappy with your
indifference. Oh! I have suffered, suffered! Now you are here we shall love each other,
my Robert. We shall be everything to each other. Nothing else in the world is of any
consequence."
Nothing else--not for the next half hour or for the whole weekend or until her husband
returns from his business trip. It is the boyfriend and the husband who think in terms of long-
term sexual horizons and marriage, the heroine who thinks in terms of the present, who is willing
to end it all rather than submit to being confined by the patriarchal sexual constitution to long-
term commitments to her husband and her children. When, at the end of the book, the heroine
drowns herself in order to escape this trap,
She felt like some new-born creature, opening its eyes in a familiar world that it had
never known....She thought of Leonce and the children. They were a part of her life. But
they need not have thought that they could possess her, body and soul. How
Mademoiselle Reisz would have laughed, perhaps sneered, if she knew! "And you call
yourself an artist! What pretensions, Madame! The artist must possess the courageous
soul that dares and defies!"
Kinsey was radically mistaken in thinking that women control the moral codes: If they
support these codes, they do so because of compulsion or perceived advantage or simple
conservatism, not because their bodies tell them they have to make long-term commitments.
The "intuition of mysterious new realms of sexual and social experience," says Gilder,
"evoked by the body and spirit of woman, is the source of male love and ultimately of marriage."
Very edifying. But it fails to explain that where women run things, as in the ghettos, little
attention is paid to marriage or to long-term cycles of sexuality, and instead there are so many
one-night stands, so many children having children. Where men run things, as in Oriental
families, the long-term cycles extend backward to ancestor worship and forward to education,
careers, the family's good name, and care for the hereditaments and the patrimony. The women
Gilder writes about have long-term sexual horizons because men have socialized them to have
them. Feminist anthropologist Evelyn Reed has people like Gilder in mind when she writes of
the modern puritanical outlook on female sexuality, and...the reluctance of men in patriarchal
society to acknowledge the independence and freedom of primitive women in sexual intercourse.
That this independence existed cannot be doubted if one reads the reports of settlers and
missionaries; they were quite offended by it.
She cites the observations made by Father Jacob Baegert on the Indians of southern
California two hundred years ago:
They met without any formalities, and their vocabulary did not even contain the words
"to marry"....The good padre complained that the women were independent and "not
much inclined to obey their lords," and that after the wedding ceremony at the mission
"the new married couple start off in different directions...as if they were not more to each
other today than they were yesterday...." Worst of all, they failed to suffer from shame,
fear, jealousy, or guilt about their sexual freedom:
They lived, in fact, before the establishment of the missions in their country, in utter
licentiousness, and adultery was daily committed by every one without shame and without any
fear, the feeling of jealousy being unknown to them. Neighbouring tribes visited each other very
often only for the purpose of spending some days in open debauchery, and during such times a
general prostitution prevailed.
That's the way it was with savages in California two hundred years ago, and that's the
way it is coming to be in California today. When Marabel Morgan, the born-again Christian anti-
feminist spoke to an audience of women about the importance of pleasing men in bed, and
confessed she sometimes found it difficult because her husband's sex drive resembled that of a
747 and hers that of a tiny Piper cub,
Morgan's breezy delivery gave no clue that she saw anything at all odd about this
admission, but many of the women in the audience responded as though she had said
something truly bizarre. As one commented, "The women I know are the 747s--and
they're all griping because the men they married aren't even Piper Cubs. They're gliders."
These are the women who ask, "Where are the men for women like us, men who can deal
with women like us?" There aren't many. "Women like us" turn men off, as Marabel Morgan
tried to explain to them. Their contempt for Mrs. Morgan suggests that they enjoy turning men
off. They might have made out quite well with the Digger Indian males of two hundred years ago
but they should be-- and are--shunned by males with long-term horizons. Fear of intimacy,
according to sexperts, "is an endemic feature of relationships in the 80s. Sex is perhaps the
ultimate act of intimacy, and people can feel profoundly vulnerable in the letting go of defenses
that it entails. In getting 'close' they may be afraid of getting hurt."
The Morgan quote comes from a review of Remaking Love: The Feminization of Sex, by
Barbara Ehrenreich, Elizabeth Hess and Gloria Jacobs. These ladies, according to the Newsweek
reviewer, think that
The real sexual revolution...has occurred in the attitudes and behavior of women, and this
revolution has taken place at the behest of women, not of men....[T]he backlash against
sexual permissiveness we're witnessing today needs to be viewed as a backlash against
women's quest for autonomy.
It was the drastic social changes brought about by the patriarchal class institutions
of the family, private property, and the state which produced the historic downfall of the
female sex. In the new society men became the principal producers, while the women
were relegated to home and family servitude. Dispossessed from their former place in
society at large, they were robbed not only of their economic independence but also of
their former sexual freedom. The new institution of monogamous marriage arose to serve
the needs of men of property.
This freedom, which Gilder supposed to be the male pattern, is the pattern of
unsocialized, unpatriarchalized females, who view the requirement of chastity and loyalty as
their "historic downfall." Men insist on marriage and female chastity because this is the only way
they can have legitimate children, the motivators of the wealth-creation Ms. Reed speaks of.
Patriarchy and wealth are the good twins; matriarchy and violence the bad twins. It is the wealth
created by the patriarchal system which reconciles females to renouncing the feminist
Promiscuity Principle and accepting patriarchy's Legitimacy Principle.
It was only when their own communal society was overthrown that these former
governesses of society were defeated and sent, dispersed and fragmentized, into
individual households and the stifling life of kitchen and nursery chores.
All this knowledge that we can gain from a study of prehistory will not only help women
to understand their present dilemma but also provide guidelines on how to proceed in the
struggle for women's emancipation, which is again coming to the fore.
They smell victory. As S. L. Andreski says of the decline of fatherhood, "one of the most
important changes taking place in our society,"
No perhaps about it. Patriarchy was the precondition for the more complex civilization.
that the gynocentrism of many poor black families is a strength--the secret of black
survival through the harrowing centuries of slavery and racism. In a sense, of course, this
is true. In any disintegrating society, the family is reduced to the lowest terms of mother
and child. The black family has long rested on the broad shoulders and heart of the black
woman.
Yet this secret of black survival is also a secret of ghetto stagnation. It is quite simply
impossible to sustain a civilized society if the men are constantly disrupting it.
Most of the male disrupters had mothers who undermined patriarchal sexual stability by
divorce, marital disloyalty, or promiscuity. It is the female who initiates the cycle which
culminates in the visible male disruption. Gilder blames the male; the law imprisons the male;
and as crime continues to increase undeterred by punishment, society imagines it must
compensate for the withdrawal of males from the system by increased subsidization of females--
subsidization which causes them to imagine themselves independent of males and free to follow
the Promiscuity Principle. Improperly socialized women like things this way because they lack
the long-term horizons Gilder ascribes to them.
It is, complains feminist Ellen Goodman, "by and large men who define 'normal,' even
while committing 90 percent of the violent crimes, and waging nearly all the wars." The violent
crimes, she says--those requiring lots of testosterone and heavy musculature, crimes which are
therefore male specialties. There are, however, crimes which both men and women commit; and
if it is desired to know whether men or women are more virtuous it will be proper to consult the
statistics for such crimes--check violations, forgery, perjury, child abuse. Ask a supermarket
manager whether men or women commit more check violations, ask a social worker whether
fathers or mothers commit more child abuse, ask a lawyer whether men or women commit more
perjury, and you will learn something about the double standard of morality of which feminists
complain.
It is now feminist doctrine that the creation of the female- headed family need not be
preceded by the formalities of marriage and divorce, that all extra-patriarchal females are entitled
to a free ride for violating the Legitimacy Principle. Feminist Professor Barbara Bergmann wants
child support payments from absent fathers to be "the same for children born out of wedlock as
for children of divorced or separated parents." The woman has all the rights, the man all the
obligations. The female-headed family is to be the norm, as in the ghetto, with the resulting male
disruptiveness serving as propaganda-grist for further female rejection of the patriarchy.
Here is another assertion of the Promiscuity Principle, from America's wise woman,
Abby Van Buren: "There is only one reason to make love, and that's because you feel like it."
Also: "to marry because you want to be a mother is a poor reason for marriage." This means
getting rid of the patriarchal Sexual Constitution and returning to the Promiscuity Principle of the
Digger Indians. The existing policy is that such socially sanctioned unchastity gives Mom title to
her children and to her ex-husband's or ex-boyfriend's paycheck. The biological tenuousness of
paternity suffices to establish the social centrality of Mom's role and to make her economic
subsidization imperative.
This repudiation of patriarchy implies the repudiation of Betty Friedan's Sleeping Beauty
feminism, which averred that "women have outgrown the housewife role" and should seek self-
actualization in the real world of male achievement. But most women who hope to liberate
themselves by creating fatherless families will find themselves, like the women of the ghettos,
not free to pursue high status careers but locked in more securely than ever to the hated maternal
functions from which feminism promised to liberate them.
Here is the crux of the Gilder fallacy. "Men," he says, "have no ties to the long-term
human community so deep or tenacious as the mother's to her child." Check. "Only the woman
has a dependable and easily identifiable connection to the child--a tie on which society can rely."
Check. But the facts cited show that this tie does not create a tie to the husband, not one which
stabilizes the two-parent family. The way to stabilize the two- parent family (which society
needs because it produces better behaved and higher achieving children) and to prevent the
creation of the female-headed family (which produces most of the criminal class) is for society to
maintain the tie between the child and the father by guaranteeing to him that his wife cannot take
his child from him. It is for the purpose of providing this guarantee that patriarchal society exists.
As will be more fully explained in Chapter X, the only way for society to provide this
guarantee is to reverse the existing custody disposition in divorce cases and return to the 19th
century practice of awarding custody of children to fathers rather than mothers.
"The human race," thinks Gilder, "met the challenge of transition from hunting to
agriculture and from agriculture to industry in part by shifting the male pursuit from game to
women." Men had always pursued women. What was needed to motivate men to accept the
"long-term horizons" Gilder writes about was the assurance that the pursuit of women would
lead to the "creation of patriarchy," a political system based not on a matriline but on the family,
of which the man knew himself to be the permanent head, not liable to be exiled at the pleasure
of the mother. Only such a stable reproductive arrangement could motivate a man to accept long-
term family responsibilities, to commit himself to a lifetime of work and the creation of wealth,
wealth which his wife would have to know to be unobtainable outside of patriarchal family
arrangements. This is the motivational basis of civilization.
"In this process," continues Gilder, "society became strongly dependent on the
institutions by which the hunter is domesticated--chiefly now the institution of marriage. In
general, across the range of modern life, marriage became indispensable to socializing the mass
of males."
Gilder fails to see that it became no less indispensable to socializing females, a fact well
understood by feminists such as Adrienne Rich, Gerda Lerner and Betty Friedan, who emphasize
women's reluctance to submit to traditional marriage and their wish to gain its economic
advantages for themselves without submitting to patriarchal constraints.
The desire of men to claim their children thus emerged as the crucial impulse of civilized
life. It is chiefly in the nuclear household that the man's connection to his children
becomes central. He is the key provider. His fatherhood is direct and unimpeachable, and
he identifies, loves, and provides for his offspring. His role as provider then becomes
almost as crucial for the maintenance of the family as the mother's role. He thus can feel
equal to the mother within the family and he can join it without damage to his sense of
himself as a man.
But not only is Gilder unable to see the reluctance of many women to accept this nuclear
family arrangement, so necessary to men, he is unable to see how it is being destroyed by a 50
percent divorce rate. "His fatherhood [in the nuclear household] is direct and unimpeachable," he
says. Not for the 50 percent exiled by divorce. "Marriage became essential to socializing the
mass of males," he goes on. Half of them are no longer the beneficiaries of this socialization, and
the other half realize that the "essential" prop formerly provided by society's support of the
conjugal family is no longer dependable. The desire of men to retain their children is as much
"the crucial impulse of civilized life" as their desire to procreate them in the first place; and since
neither aim now has society's guarantee, the entire system of male motivation based on the
conjugal family is in process of destruction by women's unwillingness to submit to its constraints
and by society's acceptance of this unwillingness as a woman's right.
Gilder acknowledges "that economic growth and capitalism depend in crucial degree on
familial and sexual organization" and that "the role of the male is the Achilles' heel of civilized
society," but he imagines that what is required is simply for men to consent to conjugal family
arrangements which women in large numbers are refusing to consent to. "By the late 1970s," say
Barbara Ehrenreich, Elizabeth Hess, and Gloria Jacobs,
It may be that patriarchally socialized women can motivate fathers, but unsocialized
women are the enemies of the patriarchal arrangement, and women, socialized or not, do little, as
Briffault truly says, directly to create civilization itself. Gilder emphasizes the essentialness of
the conjugal family to civilization; but he cannot see that it is the male who is most motivated to
create and preserve it. He understands that all societies (including savage societies) are built
upon the tie between mother and offspring. But whereas both biology and experience inform the
female that this tie is dependable in any sort of society with any sexual arrangements, and that
accordingly women need not have the long-term sexual horizons Gilder claims for them, biology
and experience both inform the male that the father- child tie is precarious and requires him not
only to take long-term views but also to create social structures which will guarantee the
legitimacy and inalienability of his children. Gilder refuses to see that this guarantee has now
been lost, that society is returning to matrilineality, and returning likewise to the patterns of
short-term, compulsive sexuality which Gilder associates with males but which are grounded in
matrilineality and found consistently in such matrilineal societies as those of the Tongans and the
Todas and the Takelomas and the Mandans and the Montagnais and the Canelas and the Caraijas
and the Nandi and the Masai and the Baila and the Akamba and the Morus and the Dume
Pygmies and the Kadza and the !Kung and the Gidjangali--and the ghettos.
Gilder quaintly assumes that most marital breakdown results from "powerful men"
abandoning the wives of their youth and lusting after their young secretaries. A moment's
reflection would convince him that there aren't that many "powerful men," and that high status
men have a lower divorce rate than most other males. Besides which, he ought to know that most
divorces are initiated by, and granted to, women.
The following passage suggests that Gilder never heard of Tawney, that he supposes
capitalism is a Roman Catholic creation, that the present sexual crisis is not a post-World War II
problem but originated in the eighteenth century, and that a generation ago girls were as
promiscuous as they are today:
Around the world, social decline and sexual chaos is the universal harvest of reliance on
secular, rationalist moral codes. In two centuries of effort, secular humanists have yet to
come up with a way of transmitting ethics to children or persuading girls to say No.
Without a religious foundation, embracing all the essentials of Catholic teaching, neither
marriage nor civilization, neither capitalism nor democracy can long survive in the
modern world.
The present sexual anarchy has not resulted from "two centuries of secular humanism"; it
has developed mostly within the last generation (not, to be sure, without predisposing causes),
and it has occurred largely in consequence of government welfare programs, the pressures of
feminism, the 50 percent divorce rate and society's error in supposing that its props are required
for the strongest link in the family, the mother's role, rather than for the weakest link, the father's
role.
There can be no greater contrast than that between what Gilder imagines women to think
and what women actually do think once they have rejected the patriarchal socialization men have
imposed on them for the last several millennia. Prior to the imposition of this patriarchal
socialization, the relations between the sexes were governed by the first law of matriarchy:
"Women control our own bodies."
have married because it was necessary, in order to survive economically, in order to have
children who would not suffer economic deprivation or social ostracism, in order to
remain respectable, in order to do what was expected of women because coming out of
"abnormal" childhoods they wanted to feel "normal," and because heterosexual romance
has been represented as the great female adventure, duty, and fulfillment. We may
faithfully or ambivalently have obeyed the institution, but our feelings--and our
sensuality--have not been tamed or contained within it.
Protests of this sort are lost on Gilder, who imagines the patriarchally socialized female is the
real thing:
The difference between the sexes gives the woman the superior position in most sexual
encounters. The man may push and posture, but the woman must decide. He is driven;
she must set the terms and conditions, goals and destination of the journey. Her faculty of
greater natural restraint and selectivity makes the woman the sexual judge and executive,
finally appraising the offerings of men, favoring one and rejecting another, and telling
them what they must do to be saved or chosen. Managing the sexual nature of a healthy
society, women impose the disciplines, make the choices, and summon the male effort
that support it.
Modern society relies on predictable, regular, long-term activities, corresponding to the sexual
faculties of women. The male pattern is the enemy of social stability.
Modern society relies on predictable, regular, long-term activities, corresponding
to the sexual demands of the hated Double Standard, imposed by men over the resistance
of women, as the pattern found in non-modern, non-patriarchal societies shows. In such
societies, as Robert Briffault truly says, and as the condition of the ghettos and the Indian
reservations sufficiently proves, "there is no original disposition in women to chastity":
I have what I call the "gang boyfriend motif." I have one boyfriend I've had for eleven
years. He's been married twice in that time, and I know and his wife knows we're both
better off not having him full-time. He's my main man. Then I have other boyfriends,
usually out of town, who I see fairly regularly. I also have one other boyfriend in town,
who I really like a lot. They all add up to one big boyfriend, and all my needs get taken
care of.
What Gilder supposes to be female nature is what Betty Friedan describes as a "mask"
designed to deceive the Gilders of the world:
I protest--on behalf of women and men and my ever-deepening respect for the power and
the glory and the mystery of human sex. I protest that passionate sexual human love
cannot be experienced if it is divorced from what we really are ourselves. Those obsolete
masculine and feminine mystiques-- the masks we've been wearing which didn't let us be
or know each other. The Biblical word for sexual love is knowing.
Locked in those iron masks, we finally choke with impotent rage and become
immune to each other's touch.
Referring to the growing economic independence of women, she says, "We are in a state
of transition now"--transition to a society where women can show how they really feel, which is
this:
The bitterness, the rage underneath the ruffles, which we used to take out on ourselves
and our kids and finally on the men in bed, is out in the open now, scaring us in its scorching
intensity, goading men to exasperation and despair. And now the men are letting it hang out, too:
how they really feel about female parasites, the dead weights, alimony, the sexual nothingness,
the lonely lovelessness of the manipulated breadwinner.
"Female parasites" motivated by economics and a desire for status within the patriarchal
system to assume the masks which deceive the Gilders, but which Betty Friedan and her feminist
sisters see through. Here is one of Ms. Friedan's friends:
I've messed up my kids, devoting my life to them that way. I've been giving my husband
a very hard time these last few years. All my hostility is coming out. And now he is a
successful lawyer, he has made enough money, he wants to have a good time. He wants
me with him, sailing, skiing, entertaining, and I'm in school, making up for lost time. I'm
alive again. I don't know what's going to happen to my marriage. My husband is a
handsome, successful man. A lot of women are after him. If I have to choose between my
own life and my marriage, I have to save my life and take the consequences.
It's a safe bet these consequences will be calculated with an eye on economics and on
what her lawyer tells her she can expect in alimony and child support money from the divorce
court.
What Ms. Friedan says about female autonomy is the same as what Monica Sjoo and
Barbara Mor say, with the difference that Ms. Friedan tells women they should be ashamed of
themselves for not sharing in patriarchal achievement, while Sjoo and Mor tell women the arena
of patriarchal achievement should be destroyed:
When women control our bodies, our daily lives, our environment, and our goals, we
don't inflict on ourselves the terrible split between motherhood and self-realization that
patriarchy and the nuclear family inflict on us. The split is a structural one, indigenous to
male-dominated environments.
The way to get rid of this terrible split is by women's achieving "total sexual and
reproductive autonomy" [see page 00 above], autonomy which confers upon women the right of
not being subsidized by, and therefore dependent upon, males. Total autonomy means abolishing
the contract of marriage and men's responsibilities to women.
The "male pattern" which Gilder thinks the enemy of social stability is not the male
pattern in patriarchy but the male pattern in matrilineal societies such as the ghetto, the pattern
where males acquiesce in female promiscuity ("autonomy"), because they have too little
bargaining power to do anything about it.
Why should the phrase "the male pattern" be used to designate male acquiescence in
female promiscuity? Why should it not rather be used to designate the pattern of regulated
sexuality imposed by wiser patriarchal males who understand the relationship between
unregulated female sexuality and the disruptive masculine displays which Gilder perceives as
"the male pattern"? "He must make a durable commitment," says Gilder. Why say he must when,
with a 50 percent divorce rate, he cannot?
Even then [says Gilder] he is dependent on the woman to love and nurture his child. Even
in the context of the family, he is sexually inferior. If he leaves, the family may survive without
him. If she leaves, it goes with her. He is replaceable; she is not. He can have a child only if she
acknowledges his paternity; her child is inexorably hers.
Dependent on the woman to love and nurture his child? Not if she can (like Winston
Churchill's mother) afford a nanny, or can (as feminists are trying to do) screw the government
for free child care. If she leaves the family goes with her? Not in Victorian society, where
women like Lady Caroline Norton complained of the loss of their children following divorce and
where J. S. Mill complained that "they are by law his children." (When the suggestion was made
to Mill that mothers, rather than fathers, should be given the custody of the children of divorce,
he thought the idea had merit, but he refused to advocate it publicly because he said it was an
idea for which the public's mind was insufficiently prepared to make such advocacy useful.)
Not according to the Corpus Juris, which says, "at common law and under some statutes,
the primary right to the custody and care of minor children is generally in the father." Not in
sixteenth century Germany, where "illegitimate children, who abounded, were usually taken into
the father's home after marriage." Not in Freud's Austria, where the great psychologist stipulated
in his will that if he died before his children were grown, they should be taken from their mother
and placed in a foster home. Not in Iran, where father-custody is automatic following divorce.
Not in Renaissance Venice, where, "even in cases of adultery, the wife's lover had to pay for her
expenses if she became pregnant, then had to rear the child, and the wife was returned to her
husband after the birth." Not in Ibsen's Doll's House, where Nora acknowledges that her husband
Thorwald is better able to rear the children than she is. Not in America in 1848, when the Seneca
Falls feminists complained that women automatically lost their children in the event of divorce,
and when judges made assertions such as this from the bench:
It is a well-settled doctrine of the common law, that the father is entitled to the custody of
his minor children, as against the mother and everybody else; that he is bound for their
maintenance and nurture, and has the corresponding right to their obedience and their services.
Gilder imagines that the way things have been in the 20th century American matriarchy is
the way they have always been and always must be. "He is readily replaceable; she is not"? He is
replaceable if his paycheck can be taken from him or if the government will subsidize female
promiscuity, illegitimacy and matriarchy via AFDC. Without these subsidizations, it would be
found that a mother-surrogate is far more easily obtainable (in the form of a paternal
grandmother, a stepmother, a nanny or a housekeeper) than a breadwinner.
and her tie to it is personal and unbreakable. When she raises the child she imparts in
privacy her own individual values. She can create children who transcend consensus and
prefigure the future, children of private singularity rather than "child-development
policy." She is the vessel of the ultimate values of the nation. The community is largely
what she is and what she demands in men.
Her tie to "her" child is "unbreakable." It is in the American matriarchy, as it is among
the Tekelmas, the Mandans, the Canelas and other savages--whereas the father's tie in these
savage societies is easily breakable, which is why these savages, like ourselves, have
underachieving children. "She imparts her own individual values"? Either she fails to, or her
values are defective, for what she imparts is the socialization which produces 75 percent of the
criminal class.
Gilder gets so swept away by his own rhapsodizing about mothers and maternity that the
logic of what he is dealing with eludes him. He tells of the central position of women in both
home and civilization, of mother-love, of long-term ties of the mother to her child and their depth
and tenacity, of the need for her to transmit her values to her offspring and of how the success or
failure of civilization depends on this transmission, of her deep moral, aesthetic, religious,
nurturant, social, sexual concerns, which involve the ultimate goals of human life, of how she is
the repository of the ultimate values of the nation and of how the community is largely shaped by
her, of the existence of a uniquely feminine moral sense rooted in webs of relationships and
responsibility, in intimacy and caring, a moral sense superior to the masculine one of rules,
hierarchy, aggression, lust and abstraction. He assures us that the mother's tie to her child is the
ultimate basis of all morality, based on the preciousness of life, beginning in the womb and
breast, morally paramount, unimpeachable, and so on and on. What, then, of the fact which will
not go away--the one about three-quarters of criminals coming from female-headed homes where
they reaped the benefits of this superior virtue, this uniquely feminine moral sense so much
nobler than that of the male? These criminals had the benefits of all of Mom's goodness without
any dilution by masculine influence.
Gilder's answer: "If children lack the close attention of mothers and the disciplines and
guidance of fathers they tend to become wastrels who burden and threaten society rather than do
its work." This is supposed to show the importance of Mom's influence. It's like arguing that
milk will cure scurvy. The cure for scurvy is not milk but vitamin C; and the analogue of Gilder's
argument is to insist that patients deprived of milk and vitamin C suffer from scurvy, and
therefore they need more milk. The criminal class doesn't suffer from mother-deprivation. It
suffers from father-deprivation. Mom has stinted nothing--she has given her all to the criminal
class. Criminals have many problems, but mother-deprivation is not one of them.
"In terms of mental and physical disease and life expectancy," says Gilder, "divorce
damages the man far more than the woman":
Divorced men of every age group between thirty-five and sixty- four have a mortality rate
three and a third times as high as divorced women....Divorced men are three and a half
times as likely as divorced women to commit suicide, and four times more likely to die in
an accidental fire or explosion. Murder claims three divorced men for every divorced
woman, as does cirrhosis of the liver. And, in the realm of more conventional mortality,
divorced men are six times as likely as divorced women to die of heart disease.
Gilder writes as though men and women passed through the same experience. This is like
comparing a female driver and a male pedestrian who experience the same "accident," and
inferring from the resulting injuries that females are tougher than males. Both parties experience
"divorce," but the man experiences in addition the massive anti-male discrimination of the
divorce court, where he loses his children, his home, his property, his future income--his role. If
wives were deprived of all these things, if ex-wives were rounded up and jailed on Mother's Day
for not subsidizing their ex- husbands, as ex-husbands are commonly rounded up on Father's Day
by clambering District Attorneys and thrown in jail for not subsidizing their ex-wives, we would
hear something about men's greater ability to survive the trauma of divorce.
Here, from David Chambers's Making Fathers Pay, is the way the male is handled in
divorce cases. Can one imagine a judge ordering an ex-wife to clean her ex-husbands's home and
then scolding her for failure to do so in some such manner as this?
The Court: All right, Mr. Connors, bring up Mr. Neal. (Mr. Neal approaches the bench.)
Defendant: Yes.
Defendant: Yes.
Defendant: No.
The Court: You were never ordered by Judge Johnston to pay alimony.
The Court: That's right. You were ordered to pay support for your children, not alimony for your
wife. And that was back in '63, and he only made you pay ten dollars per week per child. You
have five, is that right?
Defendant: Yes.
Defendant: Yes.
Defendant: Well, I had other bills and trying to make a living myself; I just couldn't seem to pay
nothing.
The Court: Well, what do you mean "other bills"? You knew you had these children.
Defendant: Yes.
The Court: These children didn't ask to be brought into the world, Mr. Neal. How did you expect
those children to get food in their little stomachs and clothes on their back, shoes on their feet,
boots in the wintertime? Where were you working all this time?
The Court: Well, why haven't you held a steady job? What's your trouble? I'd like to know.
Defendant: Nothing.
The Court: Well, then, why haven't you held onto a steady job if nothing's wrong with you?
Defendant: No.
The Court: --going from one insignificant job to another. Were you born here in Flint?
Defendant: Yes.
The Court: You knew that you could make a hundred and fifty, hundred and sixty dollars in the
factory here. Why didn't you apply to the factory?
Defendant: I did. They won't take me back because I got a hernia and I couldn't pass the test
again.
The Court: You got married [a second time] in '65. Did you marry a Flint woman?
Defendant: Yes.
Defendant: No.
The Court: You have nothing to say in mitigation of what you've done to these children?
The Court: Yes. If you would have sent at least ten dollars a week for the five of them, at least
we would have seen that you were making an effort. You didn't even send a nickel.
Defendant: I did send money off and on, but right to them; I didn't send it to the court.
The Court: Oh, really, and you expect the court to believe that?
Defendant: No.
The Court: You're darn tooting I don't believe it. This court finds nothing wrong with you.
Hernia or no hernia, you had no business leaving the Fisher body when you were building up
seniority, fringe benefits, everything. You take a leave of absence and go to Florida with a new
wife. You may have gotten that hernia at Fisher's for all you know.
Anyhow, the court finds you in contempt of court for violating this support--violating the
judgment of divorce, wherein support was made for five small children at ten dollars per week
[per child]. And that isn't even enough. The court finds nothing wrong with you, hernia or no
hernia. There are many men who work with hernias; they are physically and mentally able. If
you are capable of remarrying, you are capable then of supporting your children. You are to be
confined to the county jail for one year unless you come up with half, at least five thousand
dollars, and a wage assignment of at least the current fifty dollars, plus twenty-five dollars on the
back.
Let him make two or three telephone calls and see if he can get somebody to take him out.
Mr. Neal was sentenced to a year in prison, but got two months off for good behavior.
If Mr. Neal had been more articulate he might have replied to the Court's invitation to speak in
his own behalf as follows:
You say that you are imprisoning me for contempt of court. You are lying. You are imprisoning
me for debt, in violation of the law which you have sworn to uphold. You are denying me my
right to be tried by a jury of my peers, divorced males, in violation of Article III, section 2 of the
Bill of Rights, which you have sworn to uphold.
You tell me that I have no business marrying a second wife. If you know anything about the
statistics of sociology, or if you have read George Gilder's Men and Marriage, you would know
that married men earn nearly twice as much as single men. If you are concerned, as you affect to
be, that I earn as much as possible, you would encourage me to remarry.
You tell me that you care nothing for the welfare of my second wife, and I believe you; but if I
failed to support her, you would be tantruming at me for the welfare costs she would require of
the State of Michigan, and telling me that you cared nothing for my first wife, and that since she
is not my wife I am not responsible for her, which is true.
You say I have no business assuming responsibility for a second wife. I say to you, you have no
business assuming responsibility for my children, and that in taking that responsibility upon
yourself and placing them in a fatherless home in the custody of a woman incapable of providing
for them, you are responsible for their poverty. By placing them in a female-headed home you
are placing them where their likelihood of becoming delinquents is several times greater than if
they were in a father-headed home. You destroyed my family, and you are trying to shift your
responsibility for destroying it onto me by blaming me for the law's incompetence to protect my
children and for the fact that I am unable to support two households with an income sufficient
only for one.
You say that my children didn't ask to be brought into the world. I say to you that they didn't ask
to be taken from a two-parent family where they were decently provided for by me and placed by
you in a one-parent family where they are impoverished and at greater risk of delinquency and
educational failure.
You ask me why I haven't held a steady job. You want to know what my trouble is. My trouble is
that you have destroyed my family--destroyed the system of motivation which formerly made me
a productive, stable and useful member of society--and are now about to make me a jailbird who
can contribute nothing to society. My trouble is the same trouble as that of tens of millions of
other American males--that you and the other members of your profession are, by destroying half
of America's families, destroying the basis of patriarchal civilization. My trouble is that you and
your fellow judges imagine that by raging and tantruming at males like myself you can
compensate for the damage you are inflicting upon society by your own weakness of character,
your own lawlessness in refusing to keep your oath of office and administer justice impartially,
and your lack of cognitive skill.
You say you aren't going to let my children rummage in garbage cans. It is because you placed
them in a female- headed home that they are rummaging in garbage cans. They never rummaged
in garbage cans when they were in my custody.
You may imagine that your demonstration of indignation is benefiting the State of Michigan. It
will cost the State between $20,000 and $25,000 to imprison me for a year. During that time my
ex-wife and my children will be entirely on public welfare. During that time I will earn nothing
and will therefore be withdrawing another $25,000 worth of productivity from the Michigan
economy. My future employability will be impaired once I have a jail record. I will be paying no
taxes for the next year and reduced taxes in the future--perhaps none at all, since I may find
myself driven into the underground economy, or compelled to leave the state in order to escape
your bullying.
Your concern is not, as you pretend, for the best interests of my children. You never lost thirty
seconds of sleep over my children or any of the other children you placed in fatherless
households where they are far more likely to be impoverished and delinquent. Your concern is to
practice cheap judicial chivalry at my expense and to preserve a mindless legal rule-of-thumb
which will save you the necessity of performing the duty for which you receive your salary, the
duty of administering impartial justice and of thinking about what you routinely do when you
destroy families and place children in their mothers' custody.
In the Mahabharata, the ancient epic of India, the character Pandy says, "Women were
not formerly immured in houses and dependent upon husbands and relatives. They used to go
about freely, enjoying themselves as best they pleased....They did not then adhere to their
husbands faithfully; and yet, O beauteous one, they were not regarded as sinful, for that was the
sanctioned usage of the times....The present practice of women being confined to one husband
for life hath been established but lately." In the early l9th century, a traveller named De
Roquefeuil visited the Marquesas Islands and reported that nearly every woman there had at least
two husbands.
In the 24th century B. C., when civilization was a recent human achievement, an edict of
King Urukagina of Lagash declared that, "Women of former times each married two men, but
women of today have been made to give up this crime." Made to give it up- -clearly the idea of
monandry originated with males and was imposed on females.
Contrary to what Gilder imagines, there must be something congenial to female nature in
the state of promiscuity which existed in India in the age of the Pandavas, in the Marquesas
Islands in the 19th century, in Lagash before the time of King Urukagina. What else is to be
inferred from the fact that the most strident and frequently repeated demand of feminists is for "a
woman's right to control her own body"--to abolish the Legitimacy Principle and re-establish the
Promiscuity Principle?
"The right of women to full sexual equality with men," says Ms. Friedan, "and to the
dignity and privacy of their own person must be secured by federal statute recognizing the right
of every woman to control her own reproductive life." That means a federal law legitimizing
fornication for unmarried women and adultery for married women, a federal law denying to men
any rights under the marriage contract.
"Only economic independence can free a woman to marry for love," says Ms. Friedan.
Men's money may be a "love-spoiler," but women's own money is romance itself--and isn't
necessarily connected with marriage at all. She explains:
"There's no real economic base for marriage any more," says a learned friend of mine.
"When women needed a man for economic support, and men needed women economically to run
a home, when they needed to have children to secure their old age, marriage was real then and
sex outside of marriage was not sanctioned. There's no real basis for that now. That's why
marriages now are breaking up as soon as the children get old enough or even before." She
illustrates from the experience of a liberated friend:
She is currently involved with two married men in two different cities. Over the last week
she has seen both, spent two intense days with one, several with the other, but does not quite
know when she'll see either one again. This has been going on for several years. Neither has any
interest in leaving his wife, nor would she really want to marry either one of them. Other than the
fact that neither is available on weekends, Sundays or holidays, or for long vacations or dinner
every night--her relationship with both is quite perfect. Marvelously intense conversation, sex,
emotion, dinners, letters--more intense surely than if they were together every day. She is not at
all jealous of their wives.
"What could be better?" asks her married friend. "You can enjoy all that, the closeness,
the emotion, the sex, the fun and games--and you don't ever have to do the laundry, so to speak,
or stop doing your thing to make his dinner. You live your own life. You only have yourself to
think about. How I envy you!"
Just like Romeo and Juliet. No money worries. No love- spoiling (male) money to
interfere with the fun and games by bribing and buying up women as though they were property.
The woman has her own money (or her husband's) and can use it to enjoy her sacred right to
promiscuity, a right which ought to be guaranteed by federal law. This is the reality behind what
Gilder perceives as women's long-term sexual horizons, horizons which, however, become long-
term chiefly when contaminated by economic considerations.
The females in primitive societies and in the women's liberation movement covet a
promiscuity which would deny to males a secure family role. By contrast, patriarchally
socialized females in civilized societies accept the Sexual Constitution (or did until recently), and
their chastity and loyalty to their husbands enable these husbands to be heads of families, a
headship motivating the stable and productive male behavior which Gilder takes to be the
primary difference between civilization and savagery. Both male and female behavior differ, but
the difference in female behavior, consequent upon its regulation by the patriarchal sexual
constitution, is the more fundamental.
Writing of the "creation of patriarchy" in the second millennium B. C., Dr. Gerda Lerner
says:
The class position of women became consolidated and actualized through their sexual
relationships....[Different groups of women] shared the unfreedom of being sexually and
reproductively controlled by men....Class for men was and is based on their relationship
to the means of production: those who owned the means of production could dominate
those who did not.
It has to be that way for patriarchy to work. Male status is based on work and the creation
of wealth, motivated by the male's role as head of the family. For this system to exist it is
necessary that society should do what Dr. Lerner complains of its doing--consolidate the "class
position" (status) of women through their sexual relationships:
It is through the man that women have access to or are denied access to the means of
production and to resources. It is through their sexual behavior that they gain access to class.
"Respectable women" gain access to class through their fathers and husbands, but breaking the
sexual rules can at once declass them.
The threat of being de-classed is essential to the system, which would be destroyed by the
acceptance of the Promiscuity Principle. Accordingly, the acceptance of the Promiscuity
Principle is the major thrust of feminism: "Our liberation process consists in large part in gaining
control over our own bodies, which are our own selves, our own lives." According to Helen
Diner, "A free disposition over one's own person is an original right in a matriarchal society" --
and women want the right restored. Lesbian feminist Susan Cavin insists that "patriarchy must
control female sexuality, or else patriarchy cannot exist....The creation and maintenance of
patriarchy or any other form of male-ruled society is based on the control of female sexuality."
Dr. Lenore Weitzman's book The Divorce Revolution argues that ex-husbands owe ex-
wives far more alimony and child support money than divorce courts now compel them to pay.
She deems it unjust that the ex-husband should walk away from his marriage with his earning
ability intact while the ex-wife has little earning ability to walk away with. This male earning
ability, the principal inducement the man had to offer the woman for marriage, is referred to as
an "asset of the marriage," and therefore (by feminist logic) belongs equally to the unmarried
(divorced) woman and the unmarried (divorced) man, while the children, the chief asset of the
marriage from the man's point of view, are presumed to be the property of the woman by
biological right.
The statistics Dr. Weitzman offers in support of her contention--the divorced man's standard of
living is said to rise by 42 percent, the divorced woman's standard of living to fall by 73 percent-
-have become an established part of the folklore of feminism. The original feminist position,
given in Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique, had been that women ought to be independent,
to stand on their own feet and face life's challenges on their own "without sexual privilege or
excuse." Ms. Friedan withdrew this view when the cold winds of economics began blowing and
her feminist followers began blaming her for the loss of their husbands' paychecks:
We did not realize the trap we were falling into [wrote Ms. Friedan in her 1976 book It
Changed My Life]. We fell into a trap when we said, "No alimony!" because housewives
who divorced were in terrible straits. We fell into another trap by accepting no-fault
divorce without provision for mandatory settlements.
Being independent was great as long as it meant not having reciprocal responsibilities; losing the
free ride was less great. It was accordingly necessary to devise a new justification for the ex-
wife's retaining of the ex-husband's money, this being that most of the "assets of the marriage"
consist of the husband's earning ability. The argument is thus stated by feminist Terry Arendell:
Most of these [divorced] women viewed their husband's earnings and earning ability as
rightfully being a community property issue.
Ms. Arendell regards it as proper that ex-husbands should subsidize ex-wives but wholly unfair
that ex-wives, if they re-marry, "would lose all financial help from their former husbands" while
"their ex-husbands...could re-marry at will and still lose nothing of what they had taken out of
their marriages." No matter that they had also taken their earning ability into their marriages. No
matter that the first marriage no longer exists, having been dissolved by divorce. No matter that
the second marriage does exist and that the man's earning ability is benefiting his second family,
to which he is bound by legal and affectional ties. No matter that the ex-husband cannot suffer
any deprivation by his re-marriage because the ex-wife never gave him anything of which he
might be deprived.
The husband's economic-provider services were common property during the marriage because
the wife's reciprocal services were also common property. But by divorce the wife has
withdrawn her services. She doesn't go to her ex-husband's home to do his laundry, mop his
floors, and prepare his meals. What Ms. Arendell's argument comes to is this: she agrees with
Ms. Friedan that "society asks so little of women" that (apart from bearing his children) the
wife's contribution to the husband bears no comparison to the husband's contribution to the wife.
In withdrawing her services at the same time that she withdraws her really substantive
contribution to the marriage, the children, she is withdrawing something so trifling that Ms.
Arendell can truly say the ex-husband is walking away with most of the assets of the marriage.
Hence, according to feminist reasoning, the women who make themselves independent by
divorce are entitled to perpetuate their dependence by alimony and child support awards.
Dr. Weitzman's statistics concerning the ex-husband's improved and the ex-wife's deteriorated
standard of living are spurious. But suppose they were valid. What then? First, it follows that
there are excellent economic reasons for placing children of divorce in the custody of fathers
rather than mothers.
Second, it follows that during the marriage the husband performed extremely valuable services
for the wife, so valuable that when they are withdrawn her standard of living falls by 73 percent.
(The wife's "unpaid" services to the husband during marriage are frequently referred to in
feminist literature as something justifying compensation. How can a woman's standard of living
be lowered by 73 percent by divorce if all she is losing is the non-payment of nothing?)
Third, it follows that the husband performed these services at great sacrifice to himself, so great
that even with his continued subsidization of her by alimony and child support payments, and
despite the ex-wife's withdrawal of her "unpaid services" worth $25,000 a year (Gloria Steinem's
estimate), his own standard of living, once he is partially emancipated from her, skyrockets by 42
percent.
Fourth, it follows that during the marriage the husband had nothing to show for having raised his
wife's standard of living by 73 percent at a cost of a 42 percent lowering of his own--nothing
except the loss of his children and his motivation (not to mention the probable loss of his home,
etc.). But this loss of children and motivation is an economic fact of the first importance. From
the economic standpoint, the ex-husband's greatest asset is not his skill, not his degrees and
credentials, not his customer goodwill, not his reputation, but his motivation, which in the typical
case (since most divorce actions are initiated by wives) the wife herself destroys--and then
demands to be compensated for.
Fifth, it follows that Dr. Weitzman is glaringly inconsistent in maintaining on the one hand that
the wife's contribution to the marriage is the reason for the husband's (and ex-husband's)
economic success, and on the other that he owes her a post-marital free ride despite the fact that
she has been a ball-and-chain on him, lowering his standard of living by 42 percent. One is
reminded of Betty Friedan's assertion that "There are, of course, many reasons for divorce, but
chief among them seems to be the growing aversion and hostility that men have for the feminine
millstones hanging around their necks."
Sixth, it follows that Dr. Weitzman disproves her own contention that the wife's contributions to
the marriage account for the husband's financial success, and that his future earnings--"assets of
the marriage" for which withdrawn services cannot be responsible--ought for this reason to be
shared by the ex-wife. These contributions are said to consist largely of "moral support." Why is
not this moral support as much community property as the male earning ability it is said to
generate? Why is not its withdrawal by divorce a justification for the withdrawal of the earning
which is said to result from it?
Seventh, it follows from Dr. Weitzman's estimate of the value of the wife's contributions to the
marriage that the husband sustains a crippling loss from her withdrawal of these contributions. If
they are the reason for the husband's economic achievement, then their denial entitles him not
only to withdraw his earnings, but to be compensated.
Eighth, it follows that if the 42 percent statistic is valid, the ex-husband is entitled to
compensation from the ex-wife for her lowering of his pre-divorce standard of living by that
amount. (Such a claim would correspond to the demand made by ex-wives to be compensated for
the careers they forfeited by marriage.)
Dr. Weitzman wants it both ways: the woman marries the man and demands post-marital
recompense because marrying him was a favor; she divorces him and demands post-marital
recompense because divorcing him was a favor. She asks us to believe that the motivations
provided by the wife make the man an underachiever (by 42 percent) while they are acting upon
him during marriage, but then function proleptically to make him an overachiever once they are
withdrawn by divorce.
In writing of the predicament of divorced women, Dr. Weitzman complains of the "assumption
that it is fair to divide family income so that the wife and children share one-third, while the
husband keeps the other two-thirds for himself." There is no "family"; the woman is not a "wife";
the man is not a "husband." A family is created by marriage and destroyed by divorce. The
economic predicament of the woman has virtually nothing to do with "no fault" divorce as Dr.
Weitzman's book tries to prove. It is due to divorce itself. The greater misery of ex-wives today
is not owing to change in divorce procedures (there has been none), but to the greater number of
divorces. During marriage the wife did get from the husband what Dr. Weitzman wishes the ex-
wife (read: non-wife) to have from the ex- husband (read: non-husband). The only unfairness is
that to the children whom the ex-wife drags into poverty with her to be used as mutilated
beggars. It is schizophrenic to insist on the continuing existence of the "family" as a means of
justifying the destruction of that family itself. It is like feeding a cow its own milk--taking away
its substance in order to nourish it. What such schizophrenia testifies to is Dr. Weitzman's own
recognition that the family--the real, nuclear, patriarchal family--is the true source of the wealth
she is grasping for, while at the same time she works to destroy it.
She complains of the predicament of "an older housewife who has spent twenty or thirty years in
the family home" and then loses it when her marriage ends. This woman has spent twenty or
thirty years living in a home she could probably not have provided for herself, enjoying a
standard of living 73 percent higher than she could have earned, bestowed upon her by a husband
who forfeited 42 percent of his own standard of living for her sake during marriage. Which
partner is entitled to compensation?
It is a commonplace in feminist literature that women should be freed from what Zillah
Eisenstein calls the "patriarchal image of woman as dependent on man." "In this view," she says,
"she is still primarily a mother and therefore needs a man to support her." Dr. Weitzman's
demand for the subsidization of ex-wives by ex-husbands constitutes a reactionary reversion to
this obsolete patriarchalism, which keeps women from "learning to stand alone."
It was the thrust of Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique that it is contemptible and infantile of
women to be economically dependent upon husbands, that the childish "mystique" they affected
for the purpose of perpetuating this dependence and jollying men into supporting them was
stifling, undignified, inhibitive of women's growth, and that they should discard their economic
dependence and stand on their own feet. "Why," asked Ms. Friedan, "isn't it time to break the
pattern by urging all these Sleeping Beauties to grow up and live their own lives?" The thrust of
Dr. Weitzman's Divorce Revolution is the precise opposite: that women must remain
economically dependent on men, even when they divorce them and withdraw the trifling services
upon which Ms. Friedan poured her ridicule and contempt. They must rely upon the Motherhood
Card and the Mutilated Beggar argument which permit them to drag their children into the
Custody Trap where they wallow in self-generated economic misery and self-pity.
Dr. Weitzman proposes that this parasitism should never end. Even after the children are grown,
says Dr. Weitzman, "Long-married older wives must also be assured of an equal share of all of
their husband's career assets." But "wives" are assured of their husbands' career assets, an
assurance they enjoy because of marriage, the stability of which Dr. Weitzman is seeking to
undermine by her attempt to make divorce into an alternative institution capable of giving
women the same benefits marriage gives them. She cannot see where her own evidence leads.
She urges women not to trust their husbands' loyalty (now eroded by the feminist/sexual
revolution) but instead to trust feminist agitation, lawyers, bureaucrats and lawmakers. Trust in
lawyers, bureaucrats and lawmakers is misplaced. Betty Friedan told women to trust themselves
and to acquire the skills which would make them economically independent. Now Ms. Friedan,
like Dr. Weitzman, is reduced to speaking of such an undeliverable promise as a "trap" leading
women into economic disaster.
These women "deserve some special recognition and compensation for their contributions, not
harsher treatment," says Dr. Weitzman. They receive special recognition and compensation in
the form of a 73 percent higher standard of living; and it was one of the main contentions of The
Feminine Mystique that this compensation was excessive and unmerited and that wives should
be ashamed of themselves for taking it. Hear Betty Friedan:
In our culture, the development of women has been blocked at the physiological level
with, in many cases, no need recognized higher than the need for love or sexual
satisfaction. Even the need for self-respect, for self-esteem and for the esteem of others--
"the desire for strength, for achievement, for adequacy, for mastery and competence, for
confidence in the face of the world, and for independence, and freedom"--is not clearly
recognized for women. But certainly the thwarting of the need for self-esteem, which
produces feelings of inferiority, of weakness, and of helplessness in man, can have the
same effect on woman. Self-esteem in woman, as well as in man, can only be based on
real capacity, competence, and achievement; on deserved respect from others rather than
unwarranted adulation. Despite the glorification of "Occupation: housewife," if that
occupation does not demand, or permit, realization of woman's full abilities, it cannot
provide adequate self-esteem, much less pave the way to a higher level of self-realization.
"The most glaring proof," said Ms. Friedan, "that, no matter how elaborate, 'Occupation:
housewife' is not an adequate substitute for truly challenging work, important enough to society
to be paid for in its coin, arose from the comedy of 'togetherness.' The women acting in this little
morality play were told that they had the starring roles, that their parts were just as important,
perhaps even more important than the parts their husbands played in the world outside the
home." "Most of the energy expended in housework," she says, "is superfluous." It is this
"underused, nameless-yearning, energy-to-get-rid-of state of being housewives" that is now said
to be the justification for prolonging dependence after divorce. "The problem seemed to be not
that too much was asked of them, but too little." "The husbands of the women I interviewed,"
says Ms. Friedan, "were often engaged in work that demanded ability, responsibility and
decision. I noticed that when these men were saddled with a domestic chore, they polished it off
in much less time than it seemed to take their wives."
Dr. Weitzman gives an example of how divorce arrangements perpetuate women's dependence
(though Dr. Weitzman wants more, not less, of this dependence):
Consider the following situation as an example of the typical legal (and social) issues that
may arise with remarriage. A remarried man is legally obligated to support his two
children from a former marriage and the young child he has fathered with his new wife.
At the same time, his wife's two children from her former marriage are currently living
with him, and by virtue of their presence in the household (at his dinner table, etc.) he
finds himself supporting them as well. While he is not legally obligated to support his
wife's children if he has not legally adopted them--and let us suppose that neither he nor
the children's natural father wants that adoption to take place--in practical terms, he
inevitably contributes to their support because they are members of his new household.
The situation is further complicated by the fact that his new wife's ex-husband has also
remarried and started a new family, and has not been paying her court- ordered child
support. Our man feels the law should either relieve him of his financial obligation to
support his own two children by his ex-wife (who are now living in another man's
household) or force his present wife's ex-husband to pay his support obligations. He is
disconcerted to learn that there are no legal guidelines to allocate and apportion support
responsibilities among several families.
Which is to say, because he is a male the legal system cannot be bothered about his rights. This
man is paying the price for the liberation of three women: (1) the current wife, who deserves his
support because of his marriage-vow to her and hers to him, in compliance with which she
performs reciprocal services; (2) his former wife, who deserves nothing, since his marriage vow
to her has been annulled by the divorce court and since she has withdrawn her services from him;
and (3) the new wife of the old husband of his present wife, who gets a free ride because she is
able to spend her husband's entire paycheck.
This man is perpetuating the ills feminism was created to end, by keeping these three women
from growing up and standing on their own feet "without sexual privilege or excuse," with "self-
respect, courage, strength," with "spirit, courage, independence determination...strength of
character," "assuming true equality with men," "learning to stand alone," "launch[ing] forth, as
men do, amid real, independent stormy life' doing "the work [they] are capable of, [which] is the
mark of maturity," accepting the hard but necessary truth that "freedom is a frightening
thing...frightening to grow up finally and be free of passive dependence."
On the other hand, consider how the present system may provide a windfall for a second
spouse while unjustly depriving the first. At age 58, a corporate vice president falls in
love with his secretary and decides to divorce his wife of 34 years. (The two children of
this marriage already have families of their own.) Aside from a substantial home the
major assets of this marriage are in the husband's career, in generous company benefits
(including full medical, hospital and life insurance and an excellent retirement program)
and executive perks (a luxurious car, a large expense account, investment options and
extensive travel at company expense). His secretary, who is 28 at the time of the
marriage, has two young children whom the executive agrees to adopt. If, let us say, the
executive has a heart attack the following year and dies suddenly, in most states, a third
to a half of his estate would go to his new wife, with the remainder divided among the
four children (two from his last marriage and his new wife's two children). His first wife
will receive nothing--neither survivors' insurance nor a survivor's pension nor a share of
the estate--and both she and his natural children are likely to feel that they have been
treated unjustly. A legal rule that would allow some weighted apportionment between the
two wives would seem more just.
Such a rule would defeat the whole purpose of feminism and reinstate the "patriarchal image of
woman as dependent on man"--the idea that a woman "needs a man to support her." It would
deny to women the privilege of standing on their own feet "without sexual privilege or excuse,"
"with self-respect, courage, strength," et cetera. It would turn the clock of feminist progress back
a quarter of a century and revert to the ills of the old system--with the principal difference that
patriarchal marriage, which formerly gave wives security, has now become so de-stabilized that
the security no longer exists. The original feminist complaint was that "society asks so little of
women." The new demand is that an ex-wife should retain her free ride even after divorce has
emancipated her from the performance of that "little."
Dr. Weitzman sees no social value in the executive adopting his second wife's two children. In
discussions of divorce, it is common to hear much about "the best interests of the children"; but
such concern for children gets expressed only when the children are attached to Mom--when it is
the rights or advantages of a man, not those of a woman, which a court or a lawmaker wants a
pretext to ignore. Why shouldn't the man who earns the money and the perks be permitted to be
magnanimous with them for the purpose of benefiting his second wife's children? For what better
purpose could his money be spent? Dr. Weitzman would like to imply that the money and perks
are not really earned by the man but accrue to him by virtue of his ex-wife's previous
ministrations or are created out of nothing by lawmakers, lawyers and divorce court judges,
whose generosity is generosity with the money of someone else, always male.
In this case, the best interests of the children are very well served by this wealthy gentleman--and
also by the good sense of the young secretary who invests her assets--including her youth and
attractiveness--in a new marriage, thereby becoming "assets of a marriage" in the fullest sense of
the word, assets promoting the welfare of her husband, her children and herself. If the first wife
has lost similar assets, this is principally the consequence of the weakening of the institution of
marriage, a weakening, let it be remembered, which it has been one of the chief objects of
feminists to bring about. Much is written in feminist literature about the predicament of divorced
women, but nowhere in that literature is there expressed a wish to help women avoid this
predicament in the only way most of them can be helped--by strengthening the contract of
marriage. Dr. Weitzman would like to transfer some of the man's assets to the first wife; but her
proposal (strengthening divorce as an alternative to marriage) would have the effect of further
weakening all marriages and creating more cases like that of the first wife for whom she is
concerned. (She loads the case by making the executive wealthy. Her principle, once established,
would be applied to wealthy and non-wealthy alike, with the consequence that few divorced men
could afford to re-marry--or would be worth re-marrying.)
Dr. Weitzman describes the scenario as a "windfall" for the second wife, the word suggesting
that her marriage to a wealthy man is the result of chance, while the loss of this wealth to the first
wife is "unjust." Chance had no place in the decision of either the second wife or the man. The
plea that the first wife is unjustly treated has a justification only on the supposition that she had a
right to expect marriage to be a stable institution. Neither Dr. Weitzman nor any other feminist
desires the stabilization of marriage. What they do desire is for the benefits of marriage to be
replaced by comparable benefits from divorce--in the present case by giving the first wife, who
has withdrawn her services from the marriage, an unearned windfall at the expense of the ex-
husband and his second wife, who perform valuable services for each other and who are
therefore the ones entitled to enjoy the assets of the only marriage which exists, their own.
Dr. Weitzman's proposals for transferring the earnings and pensions and bank accounts and
insurance programs and real estate and annuities and stocks and bonds of ex-husbands to ex-
wives would lead men to take all sorts of socially undesirable self-defensive measures--
squirreling money into coffee cans, renting rather than buying a home, opening a secret bank
account in the Cayman Islands, reducing or liquefying attachable assets, minimizing take-home
pay- -so that the wife would have fewer incentives for divorce. The possession of assets such as
these formerly promoted marital and social stability. Dr. Weitzman, by offering them, or a
moiety of them, as rewards to divorcing wives, is making them into de- stabilizers of marriage--
in effect de-motivating men from creating the wealth she covets. A husband who creates such
wealth and acquires such assets under the threat Dr. Weitzman is holding over his head is simply
buying insecurity for himself. Dr. Weitzman makes much of the fact that a middle-aged divorced
woman is economically disadvantaged. Her greatest economic disadvantage by far is the burden
of child custody, which should indeed be taken from her and placed upon the father, for
everyone's benefit, especially the children's. With this burden removed she might still claim to be
disadvantaged in the sense that she has less work experience and fewer vocational skills and will
accordingly probably earn less than the ex-husband. But her needs are less than his, especially if
he has custody of the children. She is not going to have a second family, as he may have--and as
wise social policy might well encourage him to have. She has only herself to provide for.
Affluence will not make her more attractive to most prospective second husbands: a man
contemplating marriage with a woman cares very little how much money she has. A woman
contemplating marriage with a man is primarily concerned with his ability to provide for her. In
particular, a middle-aged ex- husband will need an attractive bank account and stock portfolio if
he hopes to be taken seriously by a prospective second wife, for without these she would prefer a
younger man. He may need to finance the rearing and college education of children yet unborn--
and society might well encourage him to do so, for there are few more socially useful ways for
him to spend his money. A second family would enhance his motivations, his wealth-creation,
and his social stability in a way that subsidizing an ex-wife would never do. Dr. Weitzman, by
creating "rules that require (rather than allow) judges to redistribute the husband's post-divorce
income with the goal of equalizing the standards of living in the two households," would
penalize the man and his second wife and their children and society itself by making the man
into an under- motivated, rather than a highly motivated, worker in order to provide a free ride
for the woman whom Betty Friedan, in The Feminine Mystique, sought to salvage from a life of
meaningless parasitism.
Dr. Weitzman perceives the family in terms of what Vance Packard calls "the Peripheral-
Husband Marriage":
[H]e is a bystander. He is economically useful but stands outside the basic family unit as
perceived by his wife. This basic unit consists of herself, her children, and her home."
The problem of the feminist movement, as Dr. Weitzman articulates it, is to use the Motherhood
Card and the Mutilated Beggar argument to get that peripheral male out of the home without
losing his paycheck. The problem of patriarchal society and of the men's rights movement is to
ensure that this separation of a man from his paycheck and his family does not occur.
Dr. Weitzman's concern is with the economics of divorce and how it disadvantages women and
children. It does indeed. A minority of the elitist women addressed by Betty Friedan's Feminine
Mystique have achieved the cherished goal of economic independence from men, though few of
these women have children. For large numbers of women the skyrocketing divorce rate has
meant independence at the price of poverty or near-poverty. Dr. Weitzman's book is a storehouse
of data proving to the hilt that children would be economically better off in the custody of fathers
rather than mothers.
But important as the economic argument for father custody is, it is less important than the greater
likelihood of delinquency imposed on the children by mother custody, a fact alluded to earlier. A
recent study of 25,000 incarcerated juveniles made by the Bureau of Justice Statistics indicates
that 72 percent of them came from broken homes (read: mostly female-headed homes). 74
percent of the nation's children live with two parents, 26 percent with one parent (read: Mom). In
other words, 74 percent, coming from intact homes, produce only 28 percent of the juvenile
crime; 26 percent, coming from mostly female-headed homes, produce a staggering 72 percent
of the crime. The ratios of delinquency probability in the two groups can thus be stated
numerically by dividing the size of the group by the proportion of the delinquency it generates.
72 divided by 26 for the female headed group gives 2.76; 28 divided by 74 for the intact group
gives .378. The ratio of the delinquency generated by the two groups is thus 2.76 divided by
.378, or 7.3. If the findings of this study are to be trusted a child growing up in a single-parent
home (usually female-headed) is seven times as likely to be delinquent.
The delinquency may be greater than the statistic suggests. According to the Los Angeles Times,
"Researchers found that many of the young adult offenders had criminal histories that were just
as extensive as those of adults in state prisons." In other words, when the careers of these
youngsters have become as long as the careers of older criminals, they will have committed far
more crimes.
Chapter IX
Hypergamy
For years IBM has run a magazine ad showing two pairs of colored infant booties, pink and blue,
with the question "GUESS WHICH ONE WILL GROW UP TO BE THE ENGINEER."
Underneath there is this:
As things stand now, it doesn't take much of a guess. Because by and large, he is encouraged to
excel in math and science. She isn't.
Whatever the reason for this discrepancy, the cost to society is enormous because it affects
women's career choices and limits the contributions they might make. Only 4% of all engineers
are women. Only 13.6% of all math and science Ph.D.'s are women. An encouraging, but still
low, 26% of all computer professionals are women.
In the past ten years, IBM has supported more than 90 programs designed to strengthen women's
skills in these and other areas. This support includes small grants for pre- college programs in
engineering, major grants for science programs at leading women's colleges, and grants for
doctoral fellowships in physics, computer science, mathematics, chemistry, engineering, and
materials science.
We intend to continue supporting programs like these. Because we all have a lot to gain with
men and women on equal footing. IBM
What IBM thinks of as the promotion of equality is better understood as the undermining of
hypergamy, one of the pillars of the patriarchal system. Hypergamy, or the "marriage gradient,"
means that women "marry up," men "marry down." A cinder girl may hope to marry Prince
Charming, but a chimney sweep cannot hope to marry Princess Charming. A male doctor might
well marry a female nurse, but a female doctor would hardly consider marrying a male nurse.
The female nurse may be underpaid, but in the marriage market her prospects are better than
those of the female doctor because there are more desirable males she can hope to "marry up" to.
The social implications of the IBM program may be suggested by asking some other questions
concerning the possessors of the blue and pink booties:
With IBM interfering with "market forces" this question might have to be re-worded: "attain
status by marriage or by IBM's largess." As IBM offers women more status, marriage has less to
offer them-- men have less to offer them. Men's marriageability is decreased because they have
relatively less to offer women; women's marriageability is decreased because they have fewer
men to "marry up" to. As IBM transfers status from those more dependent on work and self-
discipline to those less dependent on work and self- discipline, men will become less motivated,
since the rewards for work and self-discipline are reduced. The effect, though at a higher level of
income, will be what is observable in the ghetto, where women enjoying the handouts of the
welfare bureaucracy and become economically and status-wise independent of men, with the
consequence that large numbers of men become de-motivated and less marriageable.
WHICH ONE IS MORE LIKELY TO DIVORCE HIS/HER SPOUSE? WHICH ONE WILL
HAVE HIS/HER LIKELIHOOD OF DIVORCE INCREASED BY A FACTOR OF FIVE IF
HE/SHE IS EDUCATED AND ECONOMICALLY INDEPENDENT?
The consequences of IBM's favors to females can be found on page 42 of Nickles and Ashcraft's
The Coming Matriarchy:
[Those women] who work prefer smaller families, and fewer children means more time
to devote to personal and nondomestic interests. Our survey revealed that the working
woman not only prefers a smaller family but, in fact, fewer have children. Only 61
percent of the working women we surveyed had children, compared with 85 percent of
the nonworking women....Our survey also showed that working women have less
successful marriages....[A] woman who works was five times as likely to have a
disrupted marriage as one who did not work....[W]orking wives are more than twice as
likely as housewives to have had affairs by the time they reach their late
thirties....Researchers have found that the longer a wife is employed, the more both
partners think about divorce--an increase of one percentage point for each year of her
employment. Things get worse as she earns more money. Vassar economist Shirley
Johnson calculated that every $1,000 increase in a wife's earnings increases her chance
for divorce by 2 percent....These working women, who earn $20,000-plus, are the most
likely of all women to be separated or divorced.
According to research by three Yale sociologists, "women wed to less-educated or younger men
had marital dissolution rates at least 50% greater than those marrying similarly educated or older
men. Better-educated husbands brought no increased risk to the marriage....
When we turn to our women's private lives, we see more reasons for distress. Surely, some of
their career frustrations could be offset by the emotional support of husbands and children...but
for a startling number of the women, marriage and children are comforts they live without.
According to this study, the odds that an executive woman will never marry are four times
greater than for the average American woman. Only 5 percent of most women age thirty and up
have never wed (the 1985 Census), whereas 21 percent of our executive women have never been
brides.
Even if our women do marry, the probability of their divorcing is twice as great as the norm.
Thirty percent are currently divorced, and another 10 percent are on second or third marriages.
Forty percent of all our women have therefore been divorced--compared with just 20 percent of
most women in their same age range.
The differences between our women and their male peers are even more striking. Less than half
(48 percent) of our women are currently married--compared with a whopping 96 percent of
executive men....What's more, just 11 percent of the men have been divorced, compared with
nearly four times as many of our women.
Many of the women I interviewed felt that men couldn't handle being married to women as or
more successful then they. "Here we've gone and sweat blood to become independent, to become
women the men can have intelligent conversations with-- and they don't want us!" lamented
Laura, the pretty magazine editor.
A man's friends would never congratulate him for "marrying up." They would make jokes about
his eligibility for membership in the Dennis Thatcher Society, an organization "honoring" the
husband of the British Prime Minister. On the other hand, one of the most damning things a
woman's friends can say of her (behind her back, naturally) is "Margaret married beneath
herself."
Let's project IBM's program into the future. Let's suppose the wearers of the blue and pink
booties grow up and both become engineers. Then:
Even for the "superperformers" [the most successful professional women]...marriage still led to
diminished success, resentment, and a distracting tension in their personal lives. In contrast, men
at this time found marriage had numerous advantages in their climb up the professional
hierarchy....
Ergo, society has a greater interest in encouraging and furthering the education of males.
Educating a boy enables him to have and to support a family, to give children an advantage in
life, to transmit family values and strengthen the patriarchy, to create social stability. Educating a
girl enables her to escape marriage, or if she marries, to escape childbearing or to have a smaller
family. Education, which increases her independence, will enable her more easily to expel her
husband and inflict upon her offspring (whose custody is virtually guaranteed her) the
disadvantages accompanying fatherlessness. Feminists see these options as desirable, but why
should IBM or the rest of us see them as desirable?
Hypergamy worked the same way four thousand years ago. Feminist Dr. Elise Boulding writes
of "Urbanization, the Rise of the State and the New Conditions for Women" in the second
millennium B. C.:
What I have been describing is certainly not "equality" for women. Military action
became increasingly important throughout the second millennium, and each new arms
levy, each new conscription of soldiers, and each new round of booty brought home from
a successful war, would enhance the power differential between women and men of the
elite. The women's access to the new resources was far more limited than that of men.
Power was shared, but not shared equally.
Not shared equally--meaning that the women didn't share equally with the victorious males, the
males who took the risks and endured the ardors of military life and earned the booty. How much
of the booty was earned by the women? None, and that is why they were lesser sharers. For
every victorious male there was a defeated male who lost the booty and perhaps his freedom or
his life. Dr. Boulding makes no comparison between women and these male losers--just as
feminists see themselves discriminated against by the absence of women in the Senate and the
upper echelons of corporate power and the engineering profession, but choose not to notice that
there is a similar absence of women in prison and on Skid Row. IBM's question, carried back
four millennia, would be: "Which one is more likely to earn booty?" Another relevant question
would be: "Which one is more likely to have booty conferred upon him/her?" IBM's implied
argument is: Since men are more likely to earn benefits, women deserve to have more benefits
conferred upon them.
Feminist-economist Dr. Barbara Bergmann offers a little paradigm-story about Pink People and
Blue People earning their living by picking berries on an island. Like women and men in our
own society the Pinks and Blues have sex-segregated occupations. Dr. Bergmann thus illustrates
"the crucial point":
(It is a sufficient refutation of this to point out that Senators are a segregated group occupying a
narrow segment of the labor-market turf, but they do not suffer from low economic rewards.)
She continues:
The line of argument will be made clearer if we resort to a simplified example. Consider an
island inhabited by the two tribes of people, the Pinks and the Blues, both of whom make their
living gathering berries....If all gatherers were allowed to range over the whole island, individual
gatherers' yields would vary with their talent, energy, and luck. Given our assumption that the
two tribes have equal average talents, the average yield per gatherer would be the same in both
tribes.
However, suppose the island's territory was partitioned between the tribes, so that gatherers were
allowed to pick berries only in the territory assigned to their tribe. Were each tribe assigned a
share of the territory about proportional to its size, and of equal average quality per acre, then
again the yield per gatherer in the two tribes should be about the same. However, suppose the
Blue tribe were to be assigned exclusive possession or a disproportionately large share of
territory. In that case, the work of members of the Blue tribe would on average bring in a greater
yield than the work of members of the Pink tribe. If the land the Blue tribe got was higher in
quality than the Pink's, the Pink tribe's disadvantage would be greater still.
Dr. Bergmann's Blues like to imagine they don't discriminate against the Pinks:
The way things are arranged on our mythical island, no one says to a Pink worker,
"Because you are a Pink, we will see to it that you get less than a Blue." The mechanism
that arranges for Pinks to get less is a set of rules about who may work where. As long as
everyone follows the rules and all hands keep to their place, the Pinks will average less
production per person than the Blues and will take home less "pay" for their efforts.
The restriction of the Pinks to a relatively small territory reduces the efficiency of labor on the
island as a whole. The total number of berries picked on the island would rise were the territorial
restrictions on the Pinks to be relaxed. If some Pinks were allowed into the Blues' territory, it
would relieve the overcrowding in the Pinks' part of the island.
The assumption is that there is a labor shortage--one in high status occupations--never an
unemployment problem.
If a boatload of social scientists were to visit the island portrayed in our example, they might
hear from theoreticians belonging to the Blue tribe that its success was a sign of innately superior
talent and greater attention to business. They might also hear that all Pinks voluntarily restricted
themselves to their own territory. If, however, these social scientists observed the segregation of
the two tribes, the relative devices used to keep Pinks from infiltrating Blue territory, they might
very well conclude that the inequality of rewards was connected to the exclusion of Pinks from
the Blues' territory.
What they would notice, if the Blues and Pinks resembled men and women, is the greater
aggression and motivation of the Blues -- and that the island society had organized itself to
utilize this greater aggression and motivation. Dr. Bergmann alludes to African societies which
fail to do this:
There are certain societies in Africa where women do all of the heavy agricultural work,
all of the business dealings, and all of the work of family care. The men are at leisure full
time. In such a society, presumably no tasks are unsuitable for women. The designation
of some jobs as unsuitable for women in any particular society is a matter of social
convention rather than a reflection of women's inherent disabilities or inborn dislikes for
certain kinds of work. People's ideas about suitability can and do change when the
economy changes.
The problem is the waste of men's talents. Would Dr. Bergmann care to live in such a society?
The jobs are equally available to men and women, but the men will not take them and therefore
the society fails to thrive. There is no reason for men to work and create wealth to make
themselves attractive to women because women work for themselves and because sex is
unregulated and available to men without their having to work. The goals of feminism have been
achieved--and society remains at the level of the Stone Age.
If men cannot outperform women they will not perform at all, and society will be lucky if male
energies are merely wasted in narcissistic display rather than in disruptive violence and
machismo. A man with nothing to offer a woman save a paycheck the size of her own is
impossibly disadvantaged. He will know, and his wife will know that he knows, that the words "I
don't need you, Mister" are always at her disposal and, thanks to the anti-male bias of the divorce
court, she has an authority in the family greater than his own. Patriarchal capitalism prospers
because it creates an arena of work wherein males are allowed to succeed and create wealth and
where they are motivated to do so and rewarded for doing so by the satisfactions of family living.
The key idea of the alternative matriarchal/feminist system is thus stated by Faye Wattleton,
President of Planned Parenthood:
Together we can work to achieve the most important goal of Planned Parenthood--to give
all people the right and the ability to decide for themselves whether and when to bear
children.
All people signifies all female people. Wattleton demands the right of all female people to deny
to all male people any reproductive decision-making:
I believe that no woman, black or white, rich or poor, can ever truly be free without the
right to control her own reproductive life. [Emphasis added]
Ms. Wattleton's pitch for "reproductive rights" and Dr. Bergmann's pitch for taking better jobs
away from men to confer them on women come to the same thing: men are excluded from
meaningful participation in reproduction. Men become superfluous members of families. The
basis of civilized society is that men shall share equally in reproductive decision-making, and
shall earn the right to do so by working. The program of feminism is to deny men this right by
undermining the sexual constitution, the Legitimacy Principle, marriage and the family. When
they talk about women's reproductive rights and about making women economically independent
of men, this is what they mean.
Chapter X
Our Paychecks, Our Selves: Why Fathers Must Demand Custody
Short of total annihilation, there can be no more fundamental change in a society than the one
taking place in ours, a change which has no name and whose nature is unrecognized because its
separate facets--crime, delinquency, drugs, sexual anarchy, educational underachievement,
family breakdown, feminism--are perceived as separate problems, or as not problems at all, but
progress. The essence of the change is the abandonment of the system of social organization
based on male kinship and the reversion to the older system of social organization based on
female kinship. The statistics which measure this change inch upward only one or two
percentage points a year, but viewed historically it is happening with electrifying speed.
What makes it possible is the sexual de-regulation of women, with (in the words of feminist
Helen Colton) "no man, be it husband or physician, telling [a woman] what she may or may not
do with her own body." The idea strikes at the basis of the patriarchal system, which requires that
males shall share equally in reproductive responsibility. Patriarchy achieves this sharing by
imposing the system of agnation, kinship through males, in place of kinship through females
such as is found in the ghettos, the islands of the Caribbean and surviving Stone Age societies.
What men must do to salvage the male kinship system is to safeguard the male paycheck--to
prevent anyone, ex-wife, house-male judge or house-male lawmaker, from telling him what he
may or may not do with that paycheck, and that if he enters into a contract of marriage to share
that paycheck with a wife in exchange for her sharing of her reproductive life with him, this
contract shall not be abrogated for the purpose of depriving him of his children and his paycheck.
Early Roman society was divided into the plebeians, meaning "the people" (the base of the word
survives in plebiscite, a vote of the people), and the patricians, the "father-people" (from patri,
father), a term which can have come into existence only in a society where mother-kinship was
normative and the idea of kinship based on fatherhood was an innovation. The success of the
innovation made Roman government, law and civilization possible. The patricians were
wealthier, more stable; and in time the plebeians saw the advantages of father-kinship, which
became the norm for all of Roman society. Learning how to govern their families on patriarchal
principles made the Romans capable of governing the world. The social structure based on
mother-kinship is found in relatively pure form in Haiti--the most impoverished, most squalid,
most matriarchal nation in the Western Hemisphere. Haitian women enjoy the sexual liberation
Ms. Colton covets for American women: the typical Haitian woman has children by three
different fathers, none of whom, needless to say, has a family in any meaningful sense of the
word, none of whom, needless to say, can be motivated to work very hard. Poverty is the
hallmark of societies (or areas within societies) based on female kinship. When the complaint is
made that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, what is meant is that patriarchal families
get richer and female-headed families get poorer. Feminist agitprop calls this "the feminization
of poverty" and tries to combat it with the Mutilated Beggar argument, or with affirmative action
and comparable worth programs and quotas favoring women.
As indicated in Chapter I, the wrecking of the patriarchal system is obscured by two facts: the
generation-long time-lag between cause and effect and the sex-switch between generations. Let's
illustrate. In 1980 crime increased by a startling 17 percent. Los Angeles Police Chief Daryl
Gates was flabbergasted; nothing in the economy, he said, could explain it. What did explain it
was the huge increase in divorce and illegitimacy in the mid-1960s. Back then nobody paid much
attention. The children from the newly created female-headed families didn't walk out of the
divorce courtroom and start committing crimes. But by the early 1980s the fatherless kids were
entering the crime-prone years, 14-24, and the skies were darkening with clouds of chickens
coming home to roost.
Nothing has been done to lessen crime since then because nothing has been done to prevent the
family breakdown and illegitimacy which underlie it: men are excluded from responsible
participation in reproduction more effectively than ever. The number of incarcerated prisoners is
today almost double what it was in 1980. The prisoners are nearly all male, a fact dwelt upon
lingeringly in feminist literature, which likes to contrast the dangerous violence of the male with
the harmless gentleness of the female. Feminist literature passes silently over the fact that three-
quarters of the male prisoners are the products of female- headed households.
The necessity of regulating female sexuality in order to create the stable families which ensure
male participation in reproduction was the discovery made by our wise ancestors who created the
patriarchal system several thousand years ago-- following the million year prehistorical coma of
the Stone Age, during which society was matrilineal--built on female kinship (and female
promiscuity), the arrangement to which we are now reverting. Dr. Gerda Lerner has been quoted
in Chapter III, describing the means employed to impose the patriarchal system in the times of
Hammurabi (18th century B.C.). Under Hammurabi's law code, "the wife enjoyed considerable
and specified rights in marriage" but was sexually her husband's "property." She was sexually
regulated by the Babylonian state, which understood, as our society does not, the necessity for
such regulation.
Hammurabi's legislation benefited women. The woman's willingness--or in the absence of her
willingness, her obligation-- to submit to sexual regulation gave her the bargaining power to
claim the "considerable and specified rights in marriage" Dr. Lerner alludes to. It enabled her to
offer a man something he very much wanted--a stable family and legitimate children--something
he could not obtain from a sexually unregulated female.
Betty Friedan's 1963 book The Feminine Mystique told American housewives that the
"considerable rights" they obtained through marriage were an overpayment for the trifling
services they performed: "Society asks so little of women....It was not that too much was asked
of them but too little." Ms. Friedan had no understanding of the pivotal fact that the "little" asked
of women was primarily not housework but acceptance of sexual regulation. The male's
reproductive marginality forced him to offer the female the extremely one-sided bargain upon
which Ms. Friedan poured her scorn. The benefits of this bargain are being lost to men because
women will not keep the marriage contract and the courts will not enforce it. They are being
largely lost to women by their insistence on sexual autonomy and their consequent withdrawal of
sexual loyalty from the nuclear family, which then ceases to provide what Ms. Friedan deemed a
free ride for women. With that withdrawal women can no longer offer men what men must have
if they are to participate responsibly in reproduction.
From the feminists' point of view subsidization by an ex- husband is as good as subsidization by
a husband; but from the man's point of view the difference is total. The husband who works to
support his family works to secure his own role and to stabilize the civilization made possible by
patriarchy. When he works to subsidize his ex-wife he is undermining the institution of the
family and the patriarchy of which his ex-family was once a part-- working (under compulsion of
the legal system) to wreck civilized society rather than stabilize it. He is an unwitting and
unwilling (but helpless) recruit in the warfare of the ages, that between matriliny and patriliny,
pressed into service to fight for the enemy, matriliny. Betty Friedan has suggested that the
feminist movement is a new biological breakthrough, "the next step in human evolution":
Lately, I've been thinking that the ultimate implications of the women's movement are
more profound than we dare realize.
I think [the family] is just evolving to new forms. Otherwise, like the dinosaur, it would
become extinct.
...these phenomena of changing sex roles of both men and women are a massive,
evolutionary development....
The feminist/sexual revolution is not a breakthrough but a throwback. The breakthrough was the
creation of patriarchy a few thousand years ago, since when the primary business of society has
been to maintain patriarchy by stabilizing the male role within the family, a role now being
undermined by the enforced subsidization of ex-wives by ex-husbands--the enforced subsidizing
of matriliny with money formerly (and properly) used to support patriarchy.
Feminists protest against the double standard required by the regulation of female sexuality. The
double standard is an essential part of the patriarchal system. Male sexuality requires less
regulation because it is less important. Male unchastity sets a bad example and demoralizes
wives who find out about it, but otherwise damages society little. Female unchastity destroys the
marriage contract, the family, the legitimacy of children, their patriarchal socialization, the
security of property and the motivation of work--destroys civilized society.
(Men accept a double work standard, requiring them to be more dependable, more committed to
their jobs, willing to accept more arduous and dangerous labor and to exercise more self-
discipline-- the things which account for their earning more than women in the job market.)
A man who wants a woman to marry him would get nowhere by telling her, "If you will marry
me, I will guarantee that you will be the mother of your children." He is offering her nothing,
since it is impossible that she should not be the mother of her own children. A woman who wants
a man to marry her would be talking sense if she said to him, "If you will marry me, I will
guarantee that you will be the father of my children"--talking sense, though her personal
guarantee is insufficient, because women notoriously change their minds, because the
Promiscuity Principle claims for women the right to renege on their promise of sexual loyalty,
and because the legal system supports this right. In the words of Mary Ann Glendon, the duty of
an exiled ex-husband "to provide for the needs of [his] minor children [in Mom's custody]...is so
important that it cannot be excluded by contract." In other words, the woman's promise is
worthless and the law will grant the man no rights under the contract of marriage. A century ago
John Stuart Mill wrote "They are by law his children." Today they are by law hers and the man
can do nothing about it--and nothing to protect the paycheck which he earns and she claims by a
biological right which "cannot be excluded by contract." If men consent to this spoilation, the
patriarchal system is doomed. The only salvation is to get the legal system to understand that it
must support the man's right to have a family and deny the woman's right to wreck it at her
pleasure. In other words, it must regulate female sexuality--or rather allow the father to regulate
it by allowing him control over his own paycheck, a control not subject to revocation by a
divorce court.
This hated double standard places a burden on women but rewards them lavishly for accepting it.
It gives them the bargaining power which makes men willing to raise their standard of living by
an estimated 73 percent. Female sexual autonomy forfeits this bargaining power; legal regulation
of women (enforced by a guarantee of father-custody in divorce) maintains it. Feminist books are
written about the unwillingness of men to "make a commitment" to support women and about
the unmarriageability of educated and economically independent women, those with the highest
divorce rate. These women would be beneficiaries of sexual regulation, which would make them
non-threatening to men and therefore marriageable. Their superior education and talents-- often
combined with superior personal attractiveness--would become assets to themselves, to their
families and to society if there existed an assurance that these assets did not act, as they now
commonly do, as incentives to divorce.
Would it not be fairer to regulate both male and female sexuality with equal strictness? No; male
sexuality isn't important enough. If ninety percent of male sexuality were regulated the
unregulated ten percent would create as much sexual confusion and illegitimacy as the ninety
percent--if females were unregulated. The regulation of ninety percent of female sexuality
would, on the contrary, prevent ninety percent of sexual confusion and illegitimacy, and that is
why society must insist on the double standard, which both stabilizes society and gives women
greater bargaining power because it makes them more valuable to their families and to society.
The woman's chastity gives the man assurance of a family; the man's motivation, created by his
assurance of a secure role within this family, gives the woman a higher standard of living. This is
the complementariness which makes patriarchal civilization possible. The arrangement is now
being destroyed by the removal of the man's assurance of a secure role within his family.
The feminist/sexual revolution and the betrayal of the family by the legal system are the two
chief causes of this destruction and (a generation later) of the skyrocketing of crime, second-
generation illegitimacy and other social pathology. Other causes are the social acceptance of
non-family groupings as "families"; the abandonment of the idea of marriage as a legal contract;
the abolishing of the distinction between "good" and "bad" women; the consequent abolishing of
the distinction between responsible and recreational sex; the acceptance of Screwtape's view that
marriage is less important than a storm of emotion called "being in love" ; the creation of
reverse-rites-of-passage to prevent the transition to adulthood (e.g., trial marriage, Esalen-type
group therapy in which participants break down and have a happy cry when they learn that self-
discipline is not required of them); the alliance of sexual anarchists in academe and the media
with feminists and other anti-patriarchal, anti-social groups; the sentimental chivalry of
lawmakers; the feminist-legal attempt to make divorce into a viable alternative to marriage (for
women); improved computerized techniques for extorting child support money from ex-
husbands, techniques which make divorce attractive to women and marriage unattractive to men;
the lowered status given to maternal functions and the higher status given to career-elitism for
women; the increasing education (albeit diluted education) of women; their growing economic
independence; the growth of the Backup System (welfare, day care programs, etc.); sex mis-
education of children, including pre-adolescent children, who are robbed of their latency stage
and pressured into premature preoccupation with sexuality; the censorship of facts and ideas
unpalatable to feminists--and the placing of feminists in positions in bureaucracies and the media
where they can exercise this censorship; the qualitative erosion of education since the 1960s,
including the creation of Mickey Mouse programs such as Women's Studies; the abolition of
shame, guilt and field direction (doing what everyone else does) as social controls (illustrated,
e.g., by actresses flaunting their illegitimate children as status symbols); the inversion of
"cultural flow" (in dress, hair style, music, ideas, language), formerly from the higher ranks of
society to the lower, now from the lower to the higher....And so forth. Small wonder feminists
and sexual anarchists celebrate the demise of the family and the restoration of matriliny and
promiscuity.
They inform us that the word "family" refers to many different groupings, of which the nuclear,
patriarchal family is merely one, not the best. Mary Jo Bane writes what is intended to be a
reassuring book arguing that "American families are here to stay....Americans seem deeply
committed to the notion that families are the best places to raise children." But her reassurance is
based on the fact that "the proportion of children living with at least one parent" has not declined.
Ms. Bane has no comprehension of what is taking place: it is the one-parent (read: female-
headed) family that is destroying the real family and reinstating matriliny.
The Hirschensohn case illustrates the manner in which the patriarchal system is being
undermined. Michael Hirschensohn, a Santa Monica businessman committed adultery with one
Carole D., wife of (though separated from) Gerald D., their adultery resulting in the birth of a
girl named Victoria born in May, 1981. The paternity of Hirschensohn is established by blood
tests said to be 98 percent reliable. Some time after the birth of Victoria, Carole D. and Gerald D.
reconciled and moved from California to New York. Hirschensohn, upset over losing contact
with Victoria, filed a lawsuit, which eventually reached the Supreme Court, demanding the right,
which he says has been unfairly denied him, to prove his paternity in court, asserting "I think I'm
entitled to see my daughter....I'm not asking to be treated other than like a divorced father."
The existing law states that the woman's husband must be presumed to be the child's father, a
legal rule-of-thumb intended to strengthen families and avoid custody battles. Hirschensohn's
lawyer, Joel Aaronson, says the legal rule is old fashioned and outdated and fails to take into
account recent changes in the American family.
What Hirschensohn is demanding is the right to proclaim his daughter a bastard, the right to
confuse her concerning her social and family identity, the right to advertise to Gerald D.'s
relatives and neighbors and the public that Gerald D. is a cuckold and his wife an adulteress, the
right, based upon his status as an adulterer, to perpetually intrude himself into Gerald D.'s
household for purposes of visitation, to embarrass and humiliate and weaken the family bonds
between Gerald D. and his wife and daughter, the right to deny to Gerald D. his right, which
would be unquestioned with respect to non-adulterers, of protecting his home and family from
the intrusion of people he doesn't want to associate with.
Hirschensohn says he is only asking to be treated like a divorced father, which is to say he is
only asking the courts to declare that marriage confers no rights on husbands. He says that the
current law, holding Victoria to be legitimate, fails to take into account "recent changes in the
American family." The recent changes referred to are those which replace the Legitimacy
Principle by the Promiscuity Principle, and its corollary, the denial to men of any right to
procreate and possess legitimate children under the contract of marriage.
That the Supreme Court would even consent to hear such a claim is a dereliction on the part of
the profession whose responsibility ought to be the safeguarding of the family but which has
instead become the principal agent of the family's destruction.
According to Michael L. Oddenino of the National Council for Children's Rights, Inc., who
supports Hirschensohn, "modern society has essentially redefined our notion of the family unit."
Indeed it has, and that is why we have a Garbage Generation.
Hirschensohn and Carole D. are offenders against sexual law-and-order who have brought
suffering to Gerald D. and Victoria (and, of course themselves) and have worked to undermine
the institution of marriage and the stability of society. But the worst villains are the practitioners
of the legal system and the propagandists of the feminist/sexual revolution and its Promiscuity
Principle. The Promiscuity Principle assured Carole D. that she alone was entitled to make
decisions concerning her reproductive activity; and her believing this, combined with the
Supreme Court's willingness to consider the claimed right of an adulterer to perpetually intrude
himself into the privacy of another man's family, have already worked to weaken Victoria's
perception of her social and familial identity--her legitimacy. The patriarchal system and the
Legitimacy Principle would have given the girl reassurance concerning these things by
maintaining the fatherhood of the man whom she called father, who functioned as her father,
who was the husband of her mother and who provided for the family of which Victoria was a
member--Gerald D.
No more. "Modern society has essentially redefined out notion of the family unit"; "A woman
has a sacred right to control her own sexuality"; and "There is no such thing as an illegitimate
child." If Victoria spends her life thinking otherwise, thinking that there are illegitimate children
and that she is one of them, she can thank the unchastity of her mother, the chutzpah of
Hirschensohn and the weakness and lack of cognitive skill of the justices of the Supreme Court
in making it a matter of controversy whether the rights conferred upon Gerald D. by marriage
and the Legitimacy Principle are as meaningful and socially desirable as the rights conferred
upon Carole D. by the Promiscuity Principle and the rights conferred upon Hirschensohn by
adultery.
"Divorce," says Bishop John Spong, "has become part of the cost that society must pay for the
emancipation of women." The cost would be too high even if the emancipation were a
desideratum. It is the responsibility of society not to emancipate women but to regulate them
(and men too, of course) in order that reproduction may take place within families, in order that
children may be legitimate and may be socialized according to patriarchal principles, in order
than men may be motivated to work and create the wealth and social stability which make
civilization possible, in order that property may be secure and may be securely transmitted to the
following generation.
prostitutes are often treated with great religious respect, and their activities are considered
as religious activities....[T]he ritual worship of sex and nature was once the case
throughout the world, and still is in the societies that industrialized academics call
"primitive."
That's why the societies are "primitive" and "non-industrial"; sex for these people is recreational
and nothing else; they haven't figured out how to regulate it and put it to work. "In the ancient
Middle East," says Evans,
the land of Canaan, later invaded by the Israelites, was originally peopled by a society
where Gay male prostitution was very prominent. These prostitutes were located in the
temples. As with medieval witches, men and women who impersonated sexual deities
were literally thought to become them, and having sex with these people was viewed as
the highest and most tangible form of religious communion with the deity.
So they thought. That is why the Bible denounced Canaanite worship as "whoring after strange
gods" and W. Robertson Smith described it as "horrible orgies of unrestrained sensuality, of
which we no longer dare to speak in unveiled words." "In these societies," says Evans,
as in the case of the witches, women and Gay men generally enjoyed a high status, Gay
people of both sexes were looked upon with religious awe, and sexual acts of every
possible kind were associated with the most holy forms of religious expression.
Admittedly, there were also great diversities and variations in the beliefs and practices of
these societies, but there was one great common feature that set them off in sharp
distinction to the Christian/industrial tradition: their love of sexuality.
Meaning their love of horrible orgies of unrestrained sensuality of which we no longer dare to
speak in unveiled words. Evans contrasts this sexual chaos with the patriarchal system. In
patriarchy, he says,
Sex itself is locked up in secrecy, privacy, darkness, embarrassment, and guilt. That's
how the industrial system manages to keep it under control. Among nature peoples, as we
have seen, sex is part of the public religion and education of the tribes. It becomes a
collective celebration of the powers that hold the universe together. Its purpose is its own
pleasure. Any group of people with such practices and values can never be dominated by
industrial institutions.
Right. They cannot be integrated into civilized society because they will not accept sexual law-
and-order. Anyone who attends a rock concert or reads the classified ads in a homosexual
publication must be confronted by the thought that our society is becoming just such a "nature
people" as Evans describes, partly because it has stopped using "embarrassment and guilt" to
regulate sexuality, mostly because the legal system, created to maintain and stabilize families, is
now busily working to destroy them and (mindlessly, to be sure) to restore matriliny.
It is judges who create most female-headed households, the breeding places of the next
generation's crime, illegitimacy, demoralization, and poverty. They deprive households of their
male breadwinners and then expect these displaced breadwinners to make compensation for the
damage they have inflicted.
"The property which every man has in his own labor," says Adam Smith,
as it is the original foundation of all other property, so it is the most sacred and
inviolable. The patrimony of a poor man lies in the strength and dexterity of his hands;
and to hinder him from employing this strength and dexterity in what manner he thinks
proper without injury to his neighbor, is a plain violation of this most sacred property.
The extortion of child support money from ex-husbands constitutes "a plain violation of this
most sacred property" and men ought to resist it.
As indicated at the end of Chapter VI, many wives couldn't afford to throw their breadwinners
out if the displaced breadwinners didn't pay them to do so. A father who sends his ex- wife child
support money is subsidizing the destruction of his own family, perpetuating the system of child-
support-extortion which has wrecked tens of millions of other men's families, and paying to have
his children placed in a female-headed household where they are several times more likely to be
impoverished and delinquent and demoralized and neurotic and underachieving and sickly and
sexually confused and drug-addicted.
The father's paycheck is the stabilizer of marriage. Wives, as pointed out in Chapter VIII,
overwhelmingly consider a husband's primary function to be that of breadwinner. The legal
system has adopted the feminist view that an ex-husband should perform the same breadwinning
functions, a notion which is placing the two- parent family and the entire patriarchal system at
risk. Dr. Lenore Weitzman thinks the divorce court should try "to maintain the standard of living
that prevailed during the marriage and, insofar as practicable, to place the parties in the financial
position in which they would have been had their marriage not broken down." In other words,
she thinks the purpose of the twin institution of marriage-cum-divorce is to take everything from
the man and give everything to the woman--to strap the man into a milking-machine forever.
This forced labor for the benefit of another person--which differs in no essential and no
particular from slavery --is illegal but judges impose it anyway because they figure the American
male is so docile he will submit, and because it is what he has always done in the past and what
all other judges do--like mindless caterpillars following one another around the rim of a saucer,
each supposing he is doing the right thing because he is doing what the others do, what he has
always done in the past. They cannot see that the rise in the divorce rate from a few thousand in
the mid-19th century to a mind-numbing fifty percent today has altered the nature of divorce
from a tragedy affecting isolated members of society to a program for abolishing patriarchy and
returning to matriliny. They cannot see that the main reason for this rise in the divorce rate is the
certainty of wives that the anti-male bias of the divorce court is absolutely dependable.
The present divorce debacle is created by combining the Sanctity-of-Motherhood principle with
the Mutilated Beggar principle. In the typical case Mom divorces Dad knowing that the court
will assign custody on the Sanctity-of-Motherhood principle, allowing her to drag the kids into
risk of poverty and delinquency and exploit their predicament to extort money from Dad. "It is
already established," writes Mary Ann Glendon,
that there is a legal duty to provide for the needs of one's minor children, that this duty
must be shared fairly between both parents, and that the duty is so important that it
cannot be excluded by contract. What has to be made more specific and forceful is that in
divorces of couples with minor children, this duty must be given the foremost
consideration.
In other words, the marriage contract confers no rights on fathers, only obligations. Mom plays
the Motherhood Card and the legal system straightway becomes her willing handmaiden,
transferring her children from the patriarchal system to the matriarchal system where their
increased chances of poverty and delinquency make them better Mutilated Beggars.
Dr. Glendon intends that, even without the Mutilated Beggars, Mom should be rewarded by Dad
"to compensate, so far as possible, for the disparity which the disruption of the marriage creates
in the conditions of their respective lives." The compensation, says Dr. Glendon, depends on the
establishment of the fact of a disparity between the situations of the ex-spouses, and its aim is to
enable both of them to live under approximately equivalent material conditions.
Why should they live under approximately equivalent material conditions? Why should there not
be a disparity in their material conditions if the man earns his standard of living and if the
woman does not earn hers and if she withdraws the reciprocal services which during marriage
justified her sharing his? Why should she be compensated for what she does not earn? The
feminist movement began by Ms. Friedan heaping scorn on the parasitic wives who performed
only minimal services in exchange for a virtually free ride. Why should a parasitic ex-wife
receive a wholly free ride for performing no services at all? What happened to Ms. Friedan's
rhetoric about women needing to gain self-respect by standing on their own feet and facing life's
challenges "without sexual favor or excuse" ?
The "disparity" between the man's and the woman's earnings is the principal reason most woman
marry their husbands in the first place. Dr. Glendon would make it an inducement for women to
divorce them. She would make the male earnings which were once (and properly) a means of
strengthening marriage into a means of weakening and destroying it. If the woman can simply
take the man's money, the man cannot offer it to her, since it is already hers--he has lost his
bargaining power, and with it his motivation to earn the income she covets. The patriarchal
system is based on putting sex and the family (not sex-deprivation and the ex-family) to work as
motivators of male achievement. Dr. Glendon's "compensatory payment" for divorce wrecks the
system.
The willingness of ex-husbands to pay child support money to ex-wives is comparable to the
willingness of blacks in the South a generation ago to sit in the back of the bus. At the time it
seemed natural because everyone did it. When Rosa Parks decided she would no longer submit
to this stupid indignity and chose a seat at the front of the bus, segregated seating came to an end.
When American men realize not merely the stupidity, but the social destructiveness of
subsidizing matriliny, the feminist/sexual revolution will come to an end and patriarchy will be
restored.
"Children are entitled to share the standard of living of their higher earning parent," says Dr.
Weitzman. Very good; except that Dr. Weitzman has no intention that the children shall share
Dad's standard of living unless the ex-wife shares it too. Her sharing is presumed to be just
because motherhood is sacred, partaking of the divine. "Courts know," says one judge,
that mother love is a dominant trait in the hearts of the mother, even in the weakest of
women. It is of Divine Origin, and in nearly all cases, far exceeds and surpasses the
parental affection of the father. Every just man recognizes the fact that minor children
need the constant bestowal of the mother's care and love.
Why this divinely-originating mother-love, when left to itself by the absence of a father, inflicts
upon children the conditions of the ghettos is a paradox left unaddressed. But it is this divinity-
of-motherhood idea that underlies judges' anti-male bias:
One Idaho court [says Dr. Weitzman] concluded that the preference for the mother "needs no
argument to support it because it arises out of the very nature and instincts of motherhood:
Nature has ordained it." Similarly, a Florida court declared: "Nature has prepared a mother to
bear and rear her young and to perform many services for them and to give them many attentions
for which the father is not equipped."
In 1974, the Utah Supreme Court "brushed aside" a father's equal protection challenge to a
maternal preference custody statute stating that "the contention might have some merit to it in a
proper case if the father was equally gifted in lactation as the mother.
A New Jersey judge spoke of "an inexorable natural force" dictating maternal custody awards. A
Maryland judge found
The so-called preference for the mother as the custodian particularly of younger children
is simply a recognition by the law, as well as by the commonality of man, of the universal
verity that the maternal tie is so primordial that it should not lightly be severed or
attenuated.
We pay these dummies fancy salaries to perform this kind of reasoning, which lumps together as
"young" any offspring, from a neonate, damp from the womb and groping to suckle from its
mother's teat, to a teenage boy capable of committing crimes of violence (and far more likely to
commit them if he has no father) or a teenage girl capable of breeding illegitimate children (and
far more likely to breed them if she has no father ). The judges focus attention on the neonate and
overlook the fact that neonates grow into teenagers who don't need Mom's lactating but do need
Dad's socializing if they are to become responsible adults.
"Where the young, after birth, are still dependent on the mother," writes feminist Charlotte
Perkins Gilman, the functions of the one separate living body needing the service of another
separate living body, we have the overlapping of personality, the mutual need, which brings with
it the essential instinct that holds together these interacting personalities. That instinct we call
love. The child must have the mother's breast. The mother's breast must have the child.
Therefore, between mother and child was born love, long before fatherhood was anything more
than a momentary incident. But the common consciousness, the mutual attraction between
mother and child, stopped there absolutely. It was limited in range to this closest relation; in
duration, to the period of infancy.
Juvenile detention centers are bursting with these "primordial" citizens, thanks to judges'
incomprehension of the fact that civilized society needs patriarchal socialization as well as
female biology. There is no need for judges to worry about "severing" or "attenuating" Mom's
biology. Mom isn't going anywhere--not if Dad has assured custody of his children and assured
possession of his paycheck. She isn't going to give up her kids, her role, her status symbols and
her meal tickets. Judges suppose they must support the strongest link in the two-parent family,
the mother's role, because it is the strongest. They should support the weakest link, the father's
role, because it is the weakest. It is by doing this that they support the two-parent family, the
patriarchal system and civilization. Lawmakers and judges don't know it but it is for the purpose
of stabilizing the two-parent family that patriarchal society and the legal system exist. Mom got
along without patriarchal society and the legal system for two hundred million years, but Dad has
got to have them, and have them on his side or there will be no two-parent family. The two-
parent family isn't "natural." It isn't "biological." It isn't "primordial." It is a cultural creation,
artificial, fragile, like civilization itself, both only a few thousand years old. The female-headed
family is "natural" and "biological" and "primordial," and that is why it is found in the barnyard
and the rain forest and in the ghetto and on Indian reservations and in surviving Stone Age
societies. The two-parent family is what makes civilization possible--and vice versa--just as the
breakdown of the two-parent family is what makes the ghetto possible--and inevitable. Judges
don't understand this and that is why two- parent families are falling apart and why crime and
drugs and gangs and illegitimacy are out of control--why there is a Garbage Generation.
"We seem to be in the process of change back to the single- parent method," says feminist Dr.
Barbara Bergmann. Right. This is happening in the ghettos because the welfare system makes
male providers superfluous. It is happening in the larger society because judges have no
understanding of how patriarchy works--of the fact that it must have the support of the legal
system which they are taking away from it. Reversion to the matriliny of the Stone Age is the
real program of the feminist/sexual revolution-- the abandoning of the social organization based
on male kinship and the return to the tribal/matrilineal organization based on female kinship.
As feminist anthropologist Helen Fisher says, men and women are returning to the kind of roles
they had on the grasslands of Africa millions of years ago. This is what must be stopped, and the
only way to stop it is to guarantee fathers headship of families-- by guaranteeing them the
custody of their children and the secure possession of their paychecks.
Chapter XI
The Humphrey Principle
After a half dozen years of futile war in Vietnam, with nothing to show for our expenditure of
lives, money, prestige and good will, with the entire world wondering whether America had gone
mad, the question was put to Vice President Hubert Humphrey, Why not just acknowledge that
we made a mistake--that we should just put our soldiers on board ships and bring them home and
forget the stupid war?
The Vice President's reply represents the same political wisdom which prevents the solution of
the problem of the Garbage Generation:
The application to the problem addressed in the present book is this: If mother-headed homes
generate most of our crime, delinquency, illegitimacy, educational failure, drug addiction,
infantilism, gang violence, sexual confusion and demoralization--as they demonstrably do--why
should not our society adopt policies which make fathers heads of families?
Annex to Chapter I
Ramsey Clark, Crime in America (New York: Pocket Books, 1970), p. 39: "In federal youth
centers nearly all prisoners were convicted of crimes that occurred after the offender dropped out
of high school. Three-fourths came from broken homes."
Ibid. p. 123: "Seventy-five per cent of all federal juvenile offenders come from broken homes."
Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique (New York: W. W. Norton, 1963), p. 196: "A famous
study in Chicago which had seemed to show more mothers of delinquents were working outside
the home, turned out to show only that more delinquents come from broken homes."
Education Reporter, December, l986: "A study by Stanford University's Center for the Study of
Youth Development in l985 indicated that children in single-parent families headed by a mother
have higher arrest rates, more disciplinary problems in school, and a greater tendency to smoke
and run away from home than do their peers who live with both natural parents--no matter what
their income, race, or ethnicity."
Starke Hathaway and Elio Monachesi, Adolescent Personality and Behavior (Minneapolis:
University of Minnesota Press, 1963), p. 81: "Broken homes do relate to the frequency of
delinquency. Further, if a home is broken, a child living with the mother is more likely to be
delinquent than one for whom other arrangements are made. In the case of girls, even living with
neither parent is less related to higher delinquency than is living with the mother."
Henry B. Biller, Father, Child and Sex Role (Lexington, Massachusetts: D. C. Heath and
Company, 1971), p. 49: "It is interesting to note that the Gluecks found that both father-absence
and mesomorphic physiques were more frequent among delinquents than among nondelinquents
[Glueck. S. and Glueck, E., Unravelling Juvenile Delinquency. New York: Commonwealth
Fund, l950; Physique and Delinquency, New York: Harper and Row, l956].
Los Angeles Times, l9 September, l988: "In a grim portrait of youthful offenders, a federal study
released Sunday indicated that nearly 39% of the l8,226 juveniles in long-term youth correctional
institutions were jailed for violent crimes, and that nearly three out of five used drugs
regularly....[According to Steven R. Schlesinger, director of the Bureau of Justice Statistics]
'Almost 43% of the juveniles had been arrested more than five times.'...Researchers found that
many of the young adult offenders had criminal histories that were just as extensive as those of
adults in state prisons. For example, more than half of the young adults surveyed--as well as a
comparable sample of state prisoners- -were found to be incarcerated for violent offenses....The
report also painted a picture of broken homes and poor education: Nearly 72% of the juveniles
interviewed said that they had not grown up with both parents, and more than half said that one
of their family members had been imprisoned at least once."
Richard M. Smith and James Walters, "Delinquent and Non- Delinquent Males' Perceptions of
Their Fathers." Adolescence, 13, 1978, 21-28: "The factors which do distinguish between
delinquents and non-delinquents indicate that delinquency is associated with: (a) lack of a warm,
loving, supportive relationship with the father; (b) minimal paternal involvement with children;
(c) high maternal involvement in the lives of youth; and (d) broken homes. The factors which
may serve to insulate youth from delinquency are: (a) a stable, unbroken home, characterized by
loving, supportive, parent-child relationships; (b) a father who has a high degree of positive
involvement with his son; and (c) a father who provides a stable model for emulation by his male
offspring. The evidence reported herein supports that of earlier investigations that fathers appear
to be significant contributors to the development of offspring who are capable of adapting and
adjusting to society, and that fathers who are involved with their offspring in a warm, friendly,
cordial relationship are important in the child's life for the prevention of delinquent behavior."
Los Angeles Times, 3 November, 1985 [Ronald Ward, 15, murderer of two elderly women and a
12 year old child. According to Joseph B. Brown, Jr., Ward's attorney]: "'The hardest thing in
this case was that my client's a child and really had no controlling parents. The grandmother who
raised him is senile, bless her soul. People oppose abortion and sex education, make no provision
to deal with the resulting parentless children, then when these children go ahead and do what can
be expected, people want to kill them.'...David Burnett, the circuit judge who presided at the
trial, said: 'The tragedy in the Ronald Ward story is he's a victim of a society that allowed him to
live in a situation where he had no guidance or control....
"[The senile grandmother's] unmarried daughter, she said, gave her the baby in late 1969, soon
after he was born. The daughter 'used to come around once every two years, but then it got to a
place where it was only every four or five years.' She hasn't heard from her now in years."
Marilyn Stern, John E. Northman, and Michael R. Van Slyck, "Father Absence and Adolescent
'Problem Behaviors': Alcohol Consumption, Drug Use and Sexual Activity." Adolescence, 19,
1984, 301-312: "The absence of the father from the home affects significantly the behavior of
adolescents, and results in greater use of alcohol and marijuana and higher rates of sexual
activity. The impact of the father's absence from the home is apparently greater on males than on
females. The alcohol and marijuana use and sexual activity rates for father-absent males is
greater than for any other group. The data underscore the significance of the father as a key
figure in the transmission of values and as a role model in the life of the adolescent. In addition,
the father may have a stabilizing influence within the family structure....This suggests that the
father's presence may serve as a deterrent to more liberal indulgence in alcohol and marijuana
use and sexual activity....Father-absent males reported the highest levels of alcohol and
marijuana use the sexual activity. This group of adolescents appears to be particularly at-risk for
problems associated with the three areas of alcohol, marijuana and sexual activity."
Rachelle J. Canter, "Family Correlates of Male and Female Delinquency," Criminology, 20,
1982, 149-167: "Consistent with earlier research, youths from broken homes reported
significantly more delinquent behavior than youths from intact homes."
Robert K. Ressler, Ann W. Burgess and John E. Douglas, Sexual Homicide: Patterns and
Motives (Lexington, Massachusetts: D. C. Heath and Company, 1988), pp. 20f.: "[I]n seventeen
cases [out of 36 sexual murders] the biological father left home before the boy reached twelve
years. The absence was due to a variety of reasons, such as death or incarceration, but most often
the reason was separation and divorce....Given the departure of the father from the family, it is
not surprising that the dominant parent to the offender during childhood and adolescence was the
mother (for twenty-one cases). Some of the offenders were able to speculate on the meaning this
had in their lives, as in the following case:
The breakup of the family started progressing into something I just didn't understand. I always
thought families should always be together. I think that was part of the downfall...I said whether
I did anything good or bad. They left that totally up to my mom. We'd go out on boats and cycle
riding and stuff like that, but when it came down to the serious aspects of parent-child
relationship, never anything there from the male side...My brother was eighteen and moved in
with my real dad. I was ten and stayed with my mother.
"Only nine murderers said the father was the dominant parent, and two said both parents had
shared the parenting role....The low level of attachment among family members is indicated by
the murderers' evaluations of the emotional quality of their family relationships. Perhaps the
most interesting result was that most offenders said that they did not have a satisfactory
relationship with the father and that the relationship with the mother was highly ambivalent in
emotional quality."
Ibid., p. 92: "In attempting to explain why Warren committed the murders, the psychiatrist
pointed to his background, making the following observations:
"1. Warren grew up in a home where women were in control and men were denigrated.
"2. Warren's traumatic victimization at age twelve by two older girls served to confirm his
picture of the world.
"3. Warren's marriage to a woman with four children demonstrates his tendency to empathize
more with children than adults and his feelings about mother figures.
"4. The timing of the murders indicated a rekindling of Warren's own childhood fears as a result
of the events of pregnancy and childbirth; thus, he perceived it necessary to destroy these women
in order to prevent his own destruction.
"5. The mutilation of his victims was an attempt to remove gender identification from his victims
and render them nonfemale."
Douglas A. Smith and G. Roger Jarjoura, "Social Structure and Criminal Victimization," Journal
of Research in Crime and Delinquency 25 [Feb., l988], 27-52; epitomized in The Family in
America: New Research, June, l988: "Criminologists have long used race and poverty as key
variables for explaining crime rates. However, researchers at the University of Maryland find
that when differences in family structure are taken into account, crime rates run much the same
in rich and poor neighborhoods and among black, white, and Hispanic populations. In their study
of over ll,000 urban residents of Florida, upstate New York, and Missouri, Professors Douglas A.
Smith and G. Roger Jarjoura found that 'the percentage of single-parent households with children
between the ages of 12 and 20 is significantly associated with rates of violent crime and
burglary.' The UM team points out that 'many studies that find a significant association between
racial composition and crime rates have failed to control for community family structure and
may mistakenly attribute to racial composition an effect that is actually due to the association
between race and family structure.' Drs. Smith and Jarjoura likewise criticize theories that
attribute crime to poverty since when family structure is taken into account, 'the effect of poverty
on burglary rates becomes insignificant and slightly negative.'
"This new study should dispel illusions about curing the social effects of casual divorce and
rampant illegitimacy through government programs that merely alleviate poverty or reduce racial
prejudice."
Dr. Lee Salk, What Every Child Would Like His Parents To Know, cited in Doug Spangler,
"The Crucial Years for Father and Child," American Baby, June, l979: "Research conducted on
children whose fathers were away in the military service revealed that...boys whose fathers were
absent during the first year of life, seemed to have had more behavior difficulties than would
normally have been expected. They seem to have had more trouble establishing and keeping
good relationships, not only with adults but with other children. Other studies showed a
reasonably close relationship between delinquent behavior in boys and the absence of an
adequate father (male) figure during childhood."
Henry Biller, Father, Child and Sex Role (Lexington, Mass.: D. C. Heath, 1971), p. 1: "Much of
the current interest in the father's role seems to have been intensified by the growing awareness
of the prevalence of fatherless families and the social, economic and psychological problems that
such families often encounter. The fatherless family is a source of increasing concern in many
industrialized countries."
Ibid., p. 39: "Bacon, Child, and Barry [Bacon, M. K., Child, I. L. and Barry, H. III, "A Cross-
Cultural Study of Correlates of Crime," Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, l963, 66,
291- 300] discovered that societies with relatively low father availability have a higher rate of
crime than do societies in which the father is relatively available. Stephens' data [Stephens, W.
N. "Judgments by Social Workers on Boys and Mothers in Fatherless Families," Journal of
Genetic Psychology, l96l, 99, 59-64] suggest that intense, restrictive mother-child relationships
are more likely to occur in societies in which there is relatively low father availability in
childhood. Close binding mother-child relationships appear to be negatively related to sexual
adjustment in adulthood."
Ibid., p. 66: "Juvenile delinquency can have many different etiologies, but paternal deprivation is
a frequent contributing factor. Many researchers have noted that father-absence is more common
among delinquent boys than among nondelinquent boys. Studying adolescents, Glueck and
Glueck [Unravelling Juvenile Delinquency, l950] reported that more than two-fifths of the
delinquent boys were father-absent as compared with less than one- fourth of a matched
nondelinquent group. McCord, McCord, and Thurber ["Some Effects of Paternal Absence on
Male Children," Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, l962, 64, 361-369] found that the
lower-class father-absent boys in their study committed more felonies than did the father-present
group, although the rates of gang delinquency were not different. Gregory [I. Gregory,
"Anterospective Data Following Child Loss of a Parent: I. Delinquency and High School
Dropout," Archives of General Psychiatry, l965, l3, 99-l09] referred to a large number of
investigations linking father-absence with delinquent behavior and also detected a strong
association between these variables in his study of high school students.
"Siegman [A. W., "Father-Absence During Childhood and Antisocial Behavior," Journal of
Abnormal Psychology, l966, 254, 71-74] analyzed medical students' responses to a questionnaire
concerning their childhood experiences. he compared the responses of students who had been
without a father for at least one year during their first four years of life, with those of students
who had been continuously father-present. The father absent group admitted to a greater degree
of antisocial behavior during childhood. Other researchers relying on self-report procedures have
also reported that individuals from fatherless families are more likely to engage in delinquent
behavior [F. I. Nye, Family Relationships and Delinquent Behavior, New York: Wiley, l958; W.
L. Slocum and C. L. Stone, "Family Culture Patterns and Delinquent Type Behavior," Marriage
and Family Living, l963, 25, 202-8]. Anderson [L. M., "Personality Characteristics of Parents of
Neurotic, Aggressive, and Normal Preadolescent Boys, Journal of Consulting and Clinical
Psychology, l969, 33, 575-81] found that a history of paternal-absence was much more frequent
among boys committed to a training school. He discovered that father-absent nondelinquents had
a much higher rate of father-substitution (stepfather, father-surrogate, etc.) between the ages of
four to seven than did father-absent delinquents.
"Miller [W. B., "Lower-Class Culture as a Generating Milieu of Gang Delinquency," Journal of
Social Issues,, l958, l4, 5-19] argued that most lower-class boys suffer from paternal deprivation
and that their antisocial behavior is often an attempt to prove that they are masculine. Bacon,
Child and Barry [Bacon, M. K., Child, I. L. and Barry, H. III, "A Cross-Cultural Study of
Correlates of Crime," Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, l963, 66, 291-300], in a
cross-cultural study, found that father availability was negatively related to the amount of theft
and personal crime. Degree of father availability was defined in terms of family structure.
Societies with a predominantly monogamous nuclear family structure tended to be rated low in
the amount of theft and personal crime, whereas societies with a polygamous mother-child
family structure tended to be rated high in both theft and personal crime. Following Miller's
hypothesis, Bacon, Child and Barry suggested that such antisocial behavior was a reaction
against a female-based household and an attempted assertion of masculinity. A large number of
psychiatric referrals with the complaint of aggressive acting-out are made by mothers of
preadolescent and adolescent father-absent boys and clinical data suggest that sex-role conflicts
are frequent in such boys."
Harvey Kaye, Male Survival (New York: Grosset and Dunlap, 1974), p. 155: "Facing economic
hardship and a much higher problem of a broken home, brittle family relationships, and an
absentee father, the mere struggle for existence becomes a major preoccupation, and the niceties
of psychological development may become negligible or coarsened in the process. Growing up
deprived also often means growing up with little impulse control. Since the capacity to
internalize one's impulses is a prerequisite for progress, handicaps mount. Fragmented families
frequently germinate rage-filled children; and rage plus poor impulse control equals
confrontation with the law. A sorry case, calling for any bright innovations which a boy's nimble
brain can devise."
Patricia Cohen and Judith Brook, "Family Factors Related to the Persistence of Psychopathology
in Childhood and Adolescence," Psychiatry, Vol. 50, Nov., l987, p. 344: "One-parent families
and families with multiple marital disruptions are apparently unable to mount effective means of
counteracting pathological reactions that have developed in their children."
Barry Siegel, Los Angeles Times, 3 Nov., l985: "Most of the young convicts' stories, full of
parents who ran off and unguided lives on the streets, evoke pity. Most of their deeds, full of
rapes and beatings and murders, evoke horror."
Ross L. Matsueda and Karen Heimer, "Race, Family Structure, and Delinquency: A Test of
Differential Association and Social Control Theories," American Sociological Review, 52 [Dec.,
l987], 826-40; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, March, l988: "Teenagers
from broken homes are much more likely to become delinquents than are teens from intact
families, particularly if they are black....Given the family roots of black delinquency, the authors
of this new study find it 'not surprising that simplistic policies of rehabilitation and deterrence
have failed to stem the tide of rising rates of delinquency.'"
Phyllis Chesler, Mothers on Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody (New York: McGraw-
Hill, 1986), p. 291: "Who are the women in prison?...More than half are single mothers living on
welfare."
Bill Hazlett and David Shaw, Los Angeles Times, 31 December, l972, citing the views of Dr.
Chaytor Mason, clinical psychologist at USC: "But many mothers just can't cope with growing
boys alone--especially not with growing boys who are already frustrated by the uncertainty of
their own masculinity. The boys misbehave, and the mother tells them how bad they are, and the
boys, in effect, tell themselves, 'If I'm going to be bad, at least I'm going to be good at it.'"
Tamara Jones, Los Angeles Times, 19 December, 1988: "Favoring shaved heads and crisp,
military-style clothing, skinheads are thought to have doubled their ranks over the last nine
months alone to claim an estimated 2,000 to 3,500 hard core members nationwide. Some even
carry business cards with their particular gang's name, post office box number and racist motto....
"'What you have here is not the last, dying remnants of an old problem' says Lenny Ziskind of
the Center for Democratic Renewal. 'What we have here is just the embryo of a future
problem.'...
"[Eric Anderson, a Yakima, Wash., anthropologist] described the skinheads as ranging from 14
to 27, from largely middle-class neighborhoods and broken, unstable families.
"'Most are dumber than bricks, but some are real sharp," Anderson said. 'They're openly trying to
recruit all the time, and oftentimes it's runaway kids or punks who are looking for some family
unit."
Gary Bauer, "Report to the President from the White House Working Group on the Family,"
quoted in Phyllis Schlafly Report, February, l988: "A study by Stanford University's Center of
the Study of Youth Development in l985 indicated that children in single-parent families headed
by mothers have higher arrest rates, more disciplinary problems in school, and a greater tendency
to smoke and run away from home than do their peers who live with both natural parents--no
matter what their income, race, or ethnicity."
Margaret Cambric, Executive Director, Jenesse Center, Los Angeles, quoted in Los Angeles
Times, 27 February, 1988: "When you're dealing with gang activity, you're dealing with the
family structure. People don't tend to see it that way....All of it is domestic violence....gang
violence stems from the home."
Neal R. Peirce, citing William Haskins, National Urban League Director of Human Services,
quoted in Los Angeles Times, 30 June, 1982: "[T]here is a strong correlation between the single-
parent family and child abuse, truancy, substandard achievement in school and high
unemployment and juvenile delinquency. Fatherless boys figure heavily in crimes, according to
police officials....Young girls are almost ostracized if they're not ready for sex. Young men won't
use [contraceptives]. They say, 'That's a reflection on my manhood.'"
Dr. Carlo Abbruzzese, M. D., FASFP Chairman, Human Rights Commission , M.E.N.
International, Box 6185 Santa Ana, CA 92706, unpublished memo: "The Hon. S. L. Vavuris,
Judge of the San Francisco Superior Court, stated in open Court that '90 percent of all of the
children in trouble are from broken homes' (Loebenstein v. Loebenstein #648527, S. F. Superior
Court, July 3, l974. And Judge Arnason of the Contra-Costa Superior Court, speaking more
recently to an 'Equal Rights for Fathers' meeting in Berkeley, CA, said '70 percent of male youth
offenders committed to correctional institutions are from divorce-torn homes.'"
Henry Biller and Dennis Meredith, Father Power (Garden City, New York: Anchor Books,
1975), p. 341: "People with emotional disorders manifested in criminal behavior are likely to
have been inadequately fathered. A study of murderers by Boston psychiatrist Shervert H.
Frazier revealed that father absence or brutalization was frequent in the killers' backgrounds.
Eighteen of the thirty- one murderers he studied had either suffered father absence for significant
periods or had been the subject of repeated violence from the father. Many other histories of
assassins and mass murderers suggest that they suffer similar backgrounds of father absence or
abuse."
Dr. Bernard Laukenmann, Newsletter of Fathers United for Equal Rights of Baltimore,
Maryland, February, l973: "A memorandum of a rehabilitation program from the Florida Ocean
Sciences Institute (compiled in l970) revealed that 75 percent of the law offenders were from
broken homes. Florida's Division of Youth Services acknowledges that this situation is state
wide: more than two thirds of the criminal minors that the agency has been handling are from
broken homes....Recently a public statement showed that 70 percent of all crimes in the city of
Baltimore, Maryland, are committed by juveniles, and of that number 60 percent come from
broken homes....Of the 70 percent juvenile criminals out of broken homes [most] live with their
divorced, separated or abandoned mother or other female relative. News releases have it that
Oswald (J. F. Kennedy's assassin) Sirhan (R. F. Kennedy's assassin), and Bremer (attempted
assassin of Gov. Wallace) came from broken homes...."
Urie Bronfenbrenner, "The Psychological Costs of Quality and Equality in Education," Child
Development, 38 [1967], 914f.: "A growing body of research evidence points to the debilitating
effect on personality development in Negro children, particularly males, resulting from the high
frequency of father absence in Negro families....In seeking an explanation for this relationship,
several of the major investigators have concluded that the exaggerated toughness,
aggressiveness, and cruelty of delinquent gangs reflect the desperate effort of males in lower-
class culture to rebel against their early overprotective, feminizing environment and to find a
masculine identity. For example, Miller [W. B., "Lower Class Culture as a Generating Milieu of
Gang Delinquency," Journal of Social Issues, 1958, 14, (3), 5-19] analyzes the dynamics of the
process in the following terms:
The genesis of the intense concern over "toughness" in lower class culture is probably related to
the fact that a predominantly female household, and lack a consistently present male figure with
whom to identify and from whom to learn essential components of a "male" role. Since women
serve as a primary object of identification during preadolescent years, the almost obsessive lower
class concern with "masculinity" probably resembles a type of compulsive reaction-
formation....A positive overt evaluation of behavior defined as "effeminate" would be out of the
question for a lower class male."
Ibid., p. 914, quoting T. F. Pettigrew, A Profile of the Negro American, 1964, p. 18: "[F]ather-
deprived boys are markedly more immature, submissive, dependent, and effeminate than other
boys....As they grow older, this passive behavior may continue, but more typically, it is
vigorously overcompensated for by exaggerated masculinity. Juvenile gangs, white and Negro,
classically act out this pseudo-masculinity with leather jackets, harsh language, and physical
'toughness.'"
William McCord, Joan McCord with Irving Zola, Origins of Crime: A New Evaluation of the
Cambridge-Sommerville Youth Study New York: Columbia University Press, 1959), p. 169:
"The father's personality had an important bearing on criminality. We established that warm
fathers and passive fathers produced very few criminals. Paternal absence, cruelty, or neglect,
however, tended to produce criminality in a majority of boys."
Ibid., p. 170: "Paternal absence resulted in a relatively high rate of crime, especially in
drunkenness."
Robert Zagar, et al., "Developmental and Disruptive Behavior Disorders Among Delinquents,"
Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 28 [1989]: 437-440,
epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, September, 1989: "Psychotic delinquents
rarely come from intact families. Officials documented a familiar pattern in a recent survey of
almost 2,000 children and adolescents referred by the Circuit Court of Cook County--Juvenile
Division for psychiatric evaluation. This group of troubled children included 84 orphans (4
percent), 1,272 from single-parent homes (65 percent), 269 from stepparent families (14
percent), and just 331 from intact two-parent families (17 percent)."
Francis A. J. Ianni, The Search for Structure: A Report on American Youth Today (New York:
The Free Press, 1989), pp. 207f.: "Yet in our observations of family life and in interviews we
found that many of the members of disruptive groups and almost all of the street-gang members
came from broken or severely disturbed and deprived homes....Many were from single-parent
families where the mother had been unable or unwilling to establish adequate behavioral controls
over her male children....They soon came to be considered rebellious, unruly, even dangerous
troublemakers in the school as well as in the community. Welcome and 'understood' only among
others like them, they sought out the structure and the often severe strictures of organized deviant
peer groups, where fidelity is to the group or gang rather than to family or school."
Ibid., p. 76: "In Green Valley and other rural areas there were also frequent cases of missing
fathers, not as much so as in the urban inner city, but with sufficient frequency among the 'old
families' that 'not having a man around to straighten out the kids' was a frequent reason cited by
criminal justice and social service professionals in the county seat whenever we asked about
delinquency, teen pregnancy, or running away."
Robert J. Sampson and W. Byron Groves, "Community Structures and Crime: Testing Social-
Disorganization Theory," American Journal of Sociology, 94, January, 1989, 774-802,
epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, May, 1989: "The relationship between
crime and family life recently came under the scrutiny of criminologists at the University if
Illinois at Urbana--Champaign and the University of Wisconsin--Green Bay. After examining
data from hundreds of communities in Great Britain, the researchers concluded that family
disruption--either through divorce or illegitimacy--leads to mugging, violence against strangers,
auto theft, burglary, and other crimes. The new study establishes a direct statistical link between
family disruption and every kind of crime examined except vandalism. In large part, this linkage
can be traced to the failure of 'informal social controls' in areas with few intact families. 'Two-
parent households,' the authors of the new study explain, 'provide increased supervision and
guardianship not only for their own children and household property, but also for general
activities in the community. From this perspective, the supervision of peer-group and gang
activity is not simply dependent on one child's family, but on a network of collective family
control.' Particularly in poor communities bound together by few social ties, 'pronounced family
disruption' helps to 'foster street-corner teenage groups, which, in turn, leads to increased
delinquency and ultimately to a pattern of adult crime.'"
Bryce J. Christensen, "From Home Life to Prison Life: The Roots of American Crime," The
Family in America, Vol 3, No. 4 [April, 1989], p.3: "...Professor Sampson established not only
that single-parent households are likely targets for crime, but that the neighbors of single-parent
households are more likely to be hit by crime than the neighbors of two-parent households. He
concludes both that 'single-adult households suffer a victimization risk higher than two-adult
households' and that 'living in areas characterized by a high proportion of [single-adult]
households significantly increases burglary risk' for all types of households."
Ibid., p. 3: "In a 1987 study at the University of Toronto, sociologists noted particularly high
rates of delinquency among female teens in two kinds of households: 1) single-parent
households; 2) households in which the mother is employed in a career or management position.
Maternal employment can affect the criminality of sons, too. 'It's tougher for mothers who are
busy earning a living to control their teenage boys,' according to Professor Alfred Blumstein of
Carnegie-Mellon University. Criminologist Roger Thompson believes that one of the primary
reasons that young boys join gangs is that 'their parents work, and if they didn't have the gang,
they'd just have an empty home.'
"Seedbed for gang activity, the broken home produces many of the nation's most violent young
criminals. In a study of 72 adolescent murderers, researchers at Michigan State University found
that 75 percent of them had parents who were either divorced or had never married."
Martin Kasindorf, "Keeping Manson Behind Bars," Los Angeles Times Magazine, 14 May,
1989: "Charles Manson, born illegitimate in Cincinnati, was placed by an uncaring mother with a
series of foster parents. By 1967, he had spent 19 of his 32 years in penal institutions. On parole,
Manson gravitated to San Francisco's pulsating Haight-Ashbury district. Through ready
administration of LSD and a messianic message, he attracted a virtual harem of adoring women
he called his 'young loves,' using offers of sex with them to draw men handy with guns and dune
buggies."
Gary L. Cunningham, review of Manson in His Own Words by Nuel Emmons, Los Angeles
Times, 5 July, 1987: "The man who would come to symbolize the end of the '60s and what went
wrong with them was born 'no name Maddox.' Unwanted, he was reared with abuse and neglect.
His unwed mother eventually gave him to the courts, not because he was unmanageable, but
because he was a hindrance to her life style.
"There he found a 'convict's dream,' a world of drugs and sex and no rules. In it he sought and
found young women who were desperately seeking someone or something to give them
acceptance, direction and permission. With the help of drugs, he easily became a kind of fantasy
father figure, exchanging unconditional love and binding the women to him. For the first time in
his life, Charles Manson had love, acceptance, power and control. And he had a following."
History Book Club Review, September, 1989: "Billy the Kid, age 21, has killed four men
personally and he shares the blame for the deaths of five others. He will not see his 22d
birthday....Billy the Kid was born Henry McCarty, the son of Catherine McCarty, in New York
City in 1859....The first certain record of Billy appears in Santa Fe, New Mexico where Henry
McCarty and his brother Joe stood witness at the marriage of their mother Catherine to William
Henry Harrison Antrim on March 1, 1873."
Robert Graysmith, Zodiac (New York: Berkeley Books, 1987), p. xiii: "After Jack the Ripper
and before Son of Sam there is only one name their equal in terror: the deadly, elusive, and
mysterious Zodiac. Since 1968 the hooded mass murderer has terrified the city of San Francisco
and the Bay Area with a string of brutal killings. Zodiac, in taunting letters sent to the
newspapers, has hidden clues to his identity by using cunning ciphers that have defied the
greatest codebreaking minds of the CIA, the FBI, and NSA."
P. 321:
"PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE OF ZODIAC
"Psychotic.
"Sexual sadist: You will find that the Zodiac probably tortured small animals as a child, had a
domineering mother, weak or absent father, strong fantasy life, confusion between violence and
love, is the type of person who would be a police groupie, carry police equipment in his car,
collect weapons and implements of torture."
Los Angeles Times, 8 December, 1989 [describing Marc Lepine, Canadian mass murderer who
invaded a University of Montreal classroom, killed 14 women and wounded 13 others before
committing suicide]: "Police say his father, whom they believe to be Algerian, left his family
when son Marc was 7 years old."
Hans Sebald, Momism: The Silent Disease of America (Chicago: Nelson Hall, 1976), pp. 180ff.
[concerning the case of Jacques Vasseur, a French collaborator with the Nazis, responsible for
the deaths of 230 Frenchmen]: "Jacques's childhood was a classic example of Momistic
upbringing: father-absence from the socialization process, an overindulgent mother who catered
to every whim of the child, and isolation from other children, neighbors, and potential male
models. His mother kept him to herself, gave toys (particularly dolls) for him to play with and
provided only one companion for him--herself....After the war ended and French sovereignty was
reestablished, he was a hated and hunted criminal....It was not until l962 that he was discovered;
his mother had hid him for seventeen years in a garret above her second-story
apartment....Approximately 200 witnesses recited the horrors they had suffered under 'Vasseur
the Terror,' recounting how he beat them, tortured them, and condemned their relatives and
fiances to death. One witness said he had been bull-whipped for ten hours by Vasseur; a woman
testified that he had burned her breasts with a cigarettes; and others told of the mercilessness
with which he handed over to the executioners their fathers, brothers, and sisters....The attending
psychiatrist...explained to the court that Jacques's subservience to the Gestapo was a transferred
attachment from his mother to another powerful agent, that he embraced his grisly duties because
he needed the approval of the Mom surrogate, and that his power over other humans gave him
the opportunity to express his suppressed virility. The psychiatrist reminded the court that
Vasseur still referred to his mother as "my Mummy" and that his greatest suffering during his
imprisonment was caused by seeing 'Mummy' only once a week."
A two-hour NBC T.V. program on Jack the Ripper, October 28, l988, featured two FBI "crime
profile" experts, John Douglas and Roy Hazelwood, who profiled Jack the Ripper as a single
white male, with difficulty in interacting with people, especially women, of average intelligence,
from a broken home, raised by a dominant female figure.
Judge Samuel S. Leibowitz, Senior Judge of Brooklyn criminal court, with A. E. Hotchner,
"Nine Words that Can Stop Juvenile Delinquency," Reader's Digest, March, 1962; condensed
from This Week, 15 December, 1957: "What Western country has the lowest juvenile
delinquency rate? The answer, based on official reports, is Italy, where only two percent of all
sex crimes and one half of one percent of all homicides are committed by children 18 and under.
(The comparable figures for the United States are 13 and 9 percent.) But why is Italy's
delinquency rate so low? For weeks I toured Italian cities, trying to get the answers. I was given
remarkable cooperation. Police commissioners, school superintendents, mayors of cities told me
what I wanted to know, took me where I wanted to go.
"An important police official wanted to know if it was really true that teen-agers assaulted police
in America. I had to tell him it was.
"'Ah, this is very hard for us to believe,' he said. 'No Italian youth would ever lay hands on an
officer.'
"A Naples school superintendent asked me if thrill murders are figments of journalists'
imaginations. 'No, I informed him, 'they are all too true.'
"'We have no such crimes,' the superintendent said. 'We have the delinquency of stealing, of
misbehaving, but boys in this country commit boy wrongs, within the bounds of the boy's world.'
"'But how do you keep the boy there?' I asked. And then I found what I was seeking: a basic,
vital element of living that is disappearing in our country and which, to my mind, is the only
effective solution to the malady of delinquency. From all parts of Italy, from every official, I
received the same answer: Young people in Italy respect authority.
"And here is the significant thing: that respect starts in the home--then carries over into the
school, the city streets, the courts. I went into Italian homes to see for myself. I found that even
in the poorest family the father is respected by the wife and children as its head. He rules with
varying degrees of love and tenderness and firmness. His household has rules to live by, and the
child who disobeys them is punished. Thus I found the nine- word principle that I think can do
more for us than all the committees, ordinances and multimillion-dollar programs combined: Put
Father back at the head of the family."
ASSASSINS:
James F. Kirkham, Sheldon G. Levy and William J. Crotty, Assassination and Political Violence:
A Report to the National Commission on the Causes and Prevention of Violence (New York:
Bantam Books, 1970), pp. 65f.: "Although we cannot unravel the significance of the similarities
between the assassins, we could make this statement: we could predict after President Kennedy's
assassination that the next assassin would probably be short and slight of build, foreign born, and
from a broken family--most probably with the father either absent or unresponsive to the child."
Patricia Cayo Sexton, The Feminized Male (New York: Random House, 1969), p. 4: "Sirhan and
Oswald, both reared under the maternal shadow, grew to be quiet, controlled men and dutiful
sons. Estranged from their fellows, fathers, and normal male associations, they joined a rapidly
growing breed--the 'feminized male'--whose normal male impulses are suppressed or misshaped
by overexposure to feminine norms. Such assassins often pick as their targets the most virile
males, symbols of their own manly deprivation. The assassin risks no contest with this virility.
His victim is caught defenseless by the sniper's bullet and is unable to strike any blows in self-
defense. A cheap victory--no challenger and no risk of defeat. Their desire to get out is simply
the natural male impulse to cut maternal ties and become a man. The black revolt is a quest by
the black male--whose social impotence has exceeded even that of the white woman--for power,
status, and manhood. He does not want to be a 'boy' any longer: I am a man is the slogan of his
revolt. These rebellions are alarms, alerting us to the social forces that dangerously diminish
manhood and spread alienation and violence."
Ibid., p. 67: "David Rothstein, for example, has analyzed twenty-seven inmates of the Medical
Center for Federal Prisoners in Springfield, Mo., who had indicated an intention to attack the
President. The threatmakers bore similarities to Lee Harvey Oswald. Most came from unhappy
homes. They had domineering mothers and weak, ineffectual fathers. Most joined the military
service at an early age, yet their experiences proved to be unhappy. Rothstein interprets their
actions in threatening the President as the manifestation of a hostility towards their mother
redirected against authority symbols--the government and, more specifically, the President."
Dr. Fred B. Chartan, "A Psychiatric History: What Assassins Have in Common," The
Birmingham News, 7 July, l968: "The [U.S. presidential] assassins were all men (there has never
been a woman political assassin ), all loners, and all lacking fathers through death, divorce, work
schedule, or at least through a very poor parental relationship. It is also significant that the
assassins were either bachelors or did not get along with women."
Michael Petrovich and Donald I. Templer, "Heterosexual Molestation of Children Who Later
Became Rapists," Psychological Reports, l984, 54, 810: "Forty-nine [of 83] (59%) of the rapists
had been heterosexually molested. Of these, 12 had been so molested by two or more females for
a total of 73 'cases' of heterosexual molestation. In 56 (77%) of these cases, the molesting person
did so on more than one occasion. The ages at the time of molestation ranged from 4 to 16 yr.;
the ages of the older persons ranged from 16 to 54 yr....Note that in 15 (21%) of the cases the
women who molested had a special mission to nurture, counsel or protect."
Los Angeles Times, 16 December, 1986: [According to researchers at North Florida Evaluation
and Treatment Center] "The pattern of the child molester is characterized by a singular degree of
closeness and attachment to the mother."
Raymond A. Knight and Robert A. Prentky, "The Developmental Antecedents and Adult
Adaptations of Rapist Subtypes," Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol 14 [Dec., l987], 403-26;
epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, April, l988: "As families have broken
down, rape has become an increasingly frequent crime. That is no coincidence, according to
information in a new study. In a recent survey of l08 violent rapists--all of them repeat offenders-
-researchers found that a sizable majority of 60 percent came from single-parent homes. The
authors state that single-parent households account for 60 percent of those rapists described as
'sadistic' and nearly 70 percent of those described as 'exploitative.' Exploitative rapists display
'the most antisocial behavior in adolescence and adulthood,' while the sadists are marked by 'both
more aggressive and more deviant sexual activity.' Among rapists motivated by 'displaced anger,'
fully 80 percent come from single-parent homes, and over half were foster children."
SUICIDE:
S. C. Bhatia, et al., "High Risk Suicide Factors Across Cultures," The International Journal of
Social Psychiatry, 33, [1987], 226-236; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research,
July, 1988: "Weaker family ties are apparently one reason that suicide occurs more frequently in
the United States than in India. In a recent analysis, a team of Indian psychiatrists tried to
account for the difference between a suicide rate of 12.2 suicides per 100,000 Americans and a
rate of only 6.5 suicides per 100,000 per 100,000 Indians. While conceding that the official
statistics were unreliable because of underreporting in both countries, the psychiatric team cited
'lack of family and social support' as a primary reason that suicide now ranks eighth among
causes of death in America.
The Indian researchers found it particularly striking that while suicide rates run higher among
married Indians than among the unmarried, the American pattern is very different, with suicide
rates running twice as high among singles as among the married and four to five times as high
among the divorced and widowed as among the married."
Professor Victor R. Fuchs, Stanford University, Los Angeles Times, 24 October, l988:
"Compared with those of the previous generation, today's children are more than twice as likely
to commit suicide, perform worse at school and use much more alcohol and drugs; they are twice
as likely to be obese, and show other signs of increased physical, mental and emotional distress.
The poverty rate among children (under age 18) is almost double the rate for adults--a situation
without precedent in American history....If Americans do not have enough children (the fertility
rate has been below replacement level every year since l973) and if children do not become
healthy, well-educated adults, the country's future is bleak, regardless of progress with other
issues."
Carmen Noevi Velez and Patricia Cohen, "Suicidal Behavior and Ideation in a Community
Sample of Children: Maternal and Youth Reports," Journal of the American Academy of Child
and Adolescent Psychiatry 273 [1988]: 349-356; epitomized in The Family in America: New
Research, Sept, 1988: "The latest evidence is found in a new study by psychiatrists at the New
York State Psychiatric Institute. Upon surveying 752 families at random, the researchers divided
the children into those who had never attempted suicide and those who had done so at least once.
The two groups, they found, differed little in age, family income, race, and religion. But those
who attempted suicide were 'more likely to live in nonintact family settings than were the
nonattempters. More than half of the attempters lived in households with no more than one
biological parent, whereas only about a third of the nonattempters lived in such a setting.'"
John S. Wodarski and Pamela Harris, "Adolescent Suicide: A Review of Influences and the
Means for Prevention," Social Work, 32, No. 6 [November/December, 1987] 477-84; epitomized
in The Family in America, May, 1988: "'The growing incidence of family dissolutions, and the
resulting single-parent households along with the attendant life-style, makes childhood a difficult
period.' Increasingly, sociological researchers 'view the phenomenon of adolescent suicide as a
reflection of this turmoil in American families....There is a trend toward devaluation of family
and children and an atmosphere that lacks intimacy and affection. Experiences in environments
that are nonsupportive and overtly hostile contribute to the development of suicidal personality
characteristics.' This view is borne out, [Wodarski and Harris] note, by studies comparing youths
who attempt suicide with those who do not. Among those who attempted suicide, 'family
disruption and disintegration played a significant role' with the suicidal often feeling that their
mothers were less interested in them than did the non-suicidal."
SEXUAL CONFUSION:
Brent C. Miller and C. Raymond Bingham, "Family Configuration in Relation to the Sexual
Behavior of Female Adolescents," Journal of Marriage and the Family 51, 1989, 499-506;
epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, November, 1989: "Among young women
reared in single-parent households, sexual intercourse outside marriage occurs much more often
than among young women reared in intact families."
William Marsiglio, "Adolescent Fathers in the United States: Their Initial Living Arrangements,
Marital Experience and Educational Outcomes," Family Planning Perspectives, 19,
November/December, 1987, 240-51; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, May,
1988: "Researchers have known for some time that girls raised in a female-headed household are
much more likely to become unwed teen mothers than are girls raised in two- parent families. In
a major new study, Professor William Marsiglio of Oberlin College has documented a parallel
pattern for unmarried teen fathers. In a survey of more than 5,500 young American men, Dr.
Marsiglio found that 'males who had not lived with two parents at age 14 were overrepresented
in the subsample of teenage fathers. Only 17 percent of all young men surveyed lived in one-
parent households at age 14; yet, among boys who had fathered an illegitimate child as a
teenager, almost 30 percent came from single-parent households. In other words, teen boys from
one- parent households are almost twice as likely to father a child out of wedlock as teen boys
from two-parent families."
Suzanne Southworth and J. Conrad Schwarz, "Post-Divorce Contact, Relationship with Father,
and Heterosexual Trust in Female College Students," American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 57,
No. 3 [July, 1987], 379-381; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, October,
1987: "In surveying 104 female college students from divorced and intact families, Drs. Suzanne
Southworth and J. Conrad Schwarz discover evidence that 'the experience of divorce and its
aftermath have long-term effects on young college women's trust in the opposite sex and on their
plans for the future.' Particularly, the [University of Connecticut, Stors] team find that 'daughters
from divorced homes are more likely to anticipate cohabitation before marriage' than are
daughters of intact marriages. Among daughters of intact homes it was found that 'only daughters
who had a poor relationship with the father planned to cohabit,' while among daughters of
divorced parents 'plans to cohabit were uniformly high and unrelated to the father's acceptance
and consistency of love.'"
Single mother quoted in SMC (Single Mothers by Choice newsletter), January, 1987: "Most of
us were raised by our mothers alone."
Allan C. Carlson, "School Clinics Don't Prevent Pregnancies," Human Events, 31 January, 1987:
"Researchers have discovered, for instance, that black girls from father-headed families were
twice as likely to be 'non-permissive' compared to those from mother- headed units."
Beverly Beyette, Los Angeles Times, 10 April, 1986: [Girl mothers at Los Angeles's El Nido
Services, a child and youth counseling agency]: "They are rather casual about pregnancy--no,
they would not choose not to be pregnant. And, no, they do not expect, nor do they want, to
marry their babies' fathers. Camilla, a sophomore, said, 'I tell him it isn't his baby so he won't
call.'...
"For most girls, counselor Mathews said, 'There's very little awareness of the responsibility--and
the consequences. Their mothers become the mothers. And they keep on doing what they're
doing.'...
"Almost 70% of the girls lived with their single mothers while pregnant and, both during
pregnancy and after the birth of their babies, their parents, welfare and the baby's father were
their primary sources of financial support, with welfare the number one source after birth of the
baby....
"[Stacy] Banks [project director] said the nature of the problem is somewhat different in South
Central, where 'family violence is a big issue' and where the maternal grandmother is commonly
the head of household, and often a resentful one. It is not unusual, said Banks, to learn that the
grandmother had herself been a teen parent, that she had hoped to go back to school but is now
expected to take care of a grandchild while the mother goes to school.
"Sometimes, Davis [Fritzie Davis, project director] said, 'The grandmother is 30 years old. She's
asking, 'What's in it for me?' They're angry. They still have needs but don't know how to
articulate them.'
"In 1986, social stigma is not the problem. Indeed, Leibowitz [Paul Leibowitz, project director]
noted, 'Over 90% have made the decision they're going to keep their babies.'"
Henry B. Biller, Paternal Deprivation: Family, School, Sexuality, and Society (Lexington, Mass.:
D. C. Heath, 1974), p. 114: "Inappropriate and/or inadequate fathering is a major factor in the
development of homosexuality in females as well as in males."
Yuko Matsuhashi et al., "Is Repeat Pregnancy in Adolescents a 'Planned Affair?'" Journal of
Adolescent Health Care, 10 [1989], 409-412; epitomized in The Family in America: New
Research, December, 1989: "The [University of California at San Diego] researchers discovered
that most of the teen mothers in their study had neither a father nor a husband in their lives.
Among the girls pregnant for the first time, only 14 percent lived with both parents; among the
girls in a repeat pregnancy, only 2 percent lived with both parents."
Henry B. Biller, Father, Child and Sex Role (Lexington, Mass.: D. C. Heath, 1971), p. 47:
"Imitation of masculine models is very important. The development of a masculine sex-role
adoption, especially in the preschool years, is related to imitation of the father. A young boy's
masculinity is positively related to the degree to which his father is available and behaves in a
masculine manner (decisionmaking, competence, etc.) in his interaction with his family."
Ibid., p. 58: "A later study with kindergarten boys indicated that father-absent boys had less
masculine sex-role orientations and sex-role preferences than did father-present boys, even
though the two groups were matched in terms of IQ [Biller, H. B., "Father-Absence, Maternal
Encouragement, and Sex-Role Development in Kindergarten Age Boys," Child Development,
l969, 40, 539-46]. Also, matching for IQ in a study with junior high school students, we found
that boys who became father-absent before the age of five had less masculine self-concepts than
father-present boys [Biller, H. B. and Bahm, R. M., "Father-Absence, Perceived Maternal
Behavior, and Masculinity of Self-Concept Among Junior High School Boys," Developmental
Psychology, l97l, 4, l07].
Ibid., p. 71: "The paternally deprived boy's search for a father-figure can often be involved in the
development of homosexual relationships. West [West, D. J., "Parental Relationships in Male
Homosexuality," International Journal of Social Psychiatry, l959, 5, 85-97] and O'Connor
[O'Connor, P. J., "Aetiological Factors in Homosexuality as Seen in R. A. F. Psychiatric
Practice," British Journal of Psychiatry, l964, ll0, 381-391] found that homosexual males, more
often than neurotic males, had histories of long periods of father-absence during childhood. West
[D. J., Homosexuality, Chicago: Aldine, l967] reviewed much evidence which indicates that
paternal deprivation is a frequent precursor in the development of homosexuality....Difficulty in
forming lasting heterosexual relationships often appears to be linked to paternal deprivation."
Henry B. Biller and Richard S. Solomon, Child Maltreatment and Paternal Deprivation: A
Manifesto for Research, Prevention and Treatment (Lexington, Mass.: D. C. Heath and
Company, 1986), p. 140: "Difficulty in forming lasting heterosexual relationships often appears
to be linked to father-absence during childhood. Andrews and Christensen's (l95l) data suggested
that college students whose parents had been divorced were likely to have frequent but unstable
courtship relationships....Jacobson and Ryder (l969) did an exploratory interview study with
young marrieds who suffered the death of a parent prior to marriage. Death of the husband's
father before the son was twelve was associated with a high rate of marital difficulty. Husbands
who had been father- absent early in life were described as immature and as lacking
interpersonal competence. Participation in 'feminine' domestic endeavors and low sexual activity
were commonly reported for this group. In general, their marriages were relatively devoid of
closeness and intimacy....Other researchers have reported evidence that individuals who have
experienced father-absence because of a broken home in childhood are more likely to have their
own marriages end in divorce or separation....Research by Pettigrew (l964) with lower-class
blacks is consistent with the supposition that father-absent males frequently have difficulty in
their heterosexual relationships. Compared to father-present males, father-absent males were
'more likely to be single or divorced-- another manifestation of their disturbed sexual
identification' (p. 420)....A great deal of the heterosexual difficulty that many paternally
deprived, lower-class males experience is associated with their compulsive rejection of anything
they perceive as related to femininity. Proving that they are not homosexual and/or effeminate is
a major preoccupation of many lower-class males. They frequently engage in a Don Juan pattern
of behavior, making one conquest after another, and may not form a stable emotional
relationship with a female even during marriage. The fear of again being dominated by a female,
as they were in childhood, contributes to their continual need to exhibit their masculinity by new
conquests. The perception of child rearing as an exclusively feminine endeavor also interferes
with their interaction with their children and helps perpetuate the depressing cycle of paternal
deprivation in lower-class families....[E]arly father-absence particularly seems to interfere with
the development of a secure sex-role orientation."
Ibid., p 147: "There is anthropological evidence suggesting that low father availability in early
childhood is associated with later sex-role conflicts for girls as well as for boys....In Jacobson
and Ryder's (l969) interview study, many women who had been father-absent as young children
complained of difficulties in achieving satisfactory sexual relationships with their
husbands....Case studies of father-absent girls are often filled with details of problems
concerning interactions with males, particularly in sexual relationships....The father-absent girl
often has difficulty in dealing with her aggressive impulses....In a clinical study, Heckel (l963)
observed frequent school maladjustment, excessive sexual interest, and social acting-out
behavior in five fatherless preadolescent girls. Other investigators have also found a high
incidence of delinquent behavior among lower-class father-absent girls....Such acting-out
behavior may be a manifestation of frustration associated with the girl's unsuccessful attempts to
find a meaningful relationship with an adult male. Father-absence generally increases the
probability that a girl will experience difficulties in interpersonal adjustment.
Ibid., p. 150: "Daughters of divorcees were quite low in self- esteem, but daughters of widows
did not differ significantly in their self-image from daughters from father-present homes.
nevertheless, both groups of father-absent girls had less feeling of control over their lives and
more anxiety than did father- present girls....The daughters of divorcees seemed to have
especially troubled heterosexual relationships. They were likely to marry at an earlier age than
the other groups and also to be pregnant at the time of marriage. After a brief period of time,
some of these women were separated or divorced from their husbands."
Diane Trombetta and Betsy Warren Lebbos, "Co-Parenting: The Best Custody Solution," Los
Angeles Daily Journal, June 22, l979, p. 20: "Delinquent girls, and those pregnant out of
wedlock, are also more likely to come from broken homes, in most cases meaning father-absent
homes. Girls from father-absent homes have been found to engage in more and earlier sexual
relationships than father-present girls.
"Insecurity in relating to males has been reported among girls who became father-absent before
the age of five....
"Among males, father-absence and resulting maternal dominance has been associated with
secondary impotence, homosexuality, alcoholism, and drug abuse."
Los Angeles Times, l7 October, l986: "Planned Parenthood has identified teens at highest risk
for becoming pregnant: those with mothers or sisters who became pregnant while teen-agers,
those reared in single-parent homes, those who do not do well in school and seek self-esteem
elsewhere."
Eleanor J. Bader, The Guardian, l April, l987: "'Glamor was a great reason to have a baby. It
works at first. People say "Oh, that's great." You're famous. Then you're nine months pregnant,
waddling around, and after the baby's born they put their eyes down. You're on your own. After
the baby's born the only one who sticks around is welfare.'
"The woman speaking is l6, Black and angry. She had to drop out of school, she says, to care for
her son, and has to subsist on less than $400 a month, a sum that is mostly gobbled up by
diapers, formula, baby clothes and rent.
"But these dire conditions are not the only reasons for her anger. 'When you're a young mother
people look at you like you're bad.'"
Los Angeles Times, 10 April, l986: "Almost 70% of the girls [teen-aged mothers] lived with
their single mothers...."
Susan Newcomer and J. Richard Udry, "Parental Marital Status Effects on Adolescent Sexual
Behavior," Journal of Marriage and the Family, 49, No. 2 [May, l987], pp. 235-40; epitomized in
The Family in America: New Research, August, l987: "Daughters in one-parent homes are much
more likely to engage in premarital sex than are daughters in two-parent homes....Adolescent
girls reared without fathers are much more likely to be sexually active than girls raised by two
parents. Girls raised in single-parent homes are also much more likely to be involved in 'other
age-graded delinquencies' than are girls in two-parent homes....The research team also found that
the sexual activity of sons increases markedly when a two-parent home breaks up through
divorce or separation."
Los Angeles Times, l6 May,, l988: "Ed Griffin, planning officer at the [Los Angeles] Housing
Authority, said that at the poorest projects, 'a young woman's idea of upward mobility is having a
baby and getting her first welfare check from Aid to Families with Dependent Children. Then
she leaves her mom's and gets a place of her own--in the project, of course.'"
Bettye Avery, off our backs, April, l986: "Girls who refuse to have sex are accused of being
virgins or dykes."
Henry Biller, Father, Child and Sex Role (Lexington, Mass.: D. C. Heath and Company, 1971),
p. 129: "[P]aternally deprived individuals are overrepresented among individuals with
psychological problems."
George A. Rekers, "Inadequate Sex Role Differentiation in Childhood: The Family and Gender
Identity Disorders," The Journal of Family and Culture, 2, No. 3 [Autumn, 1986], 8-31;
epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, March, 1987: "...George A. Rekers,
professor of neuropsychiatry at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine, reports on
the findings of the Gender Research Project he has directed for the National Institute of Mental
Health. As part of his research, Dr. Rekers and his colleagues performed comprehensive
psychological evaluations of 70 boys suffering from 'gender disturbance,' manifest in 'cross
dressing [transvestism]' play with cosmetic articles; "feminine" appearing gestures; avoidance of
masculine sex-typed activities; avoidance of male peers; predominant ratio of play with female
peers...and taking predominantly female roles in play.'
In the boys who were classified as the most profoundly disturbed, father absence was observed
for all cases. In the remaining less disturbed cases father absence was found in 54% of the cases.
Helen Colton, Sex After the Sexual Revolution (New York: Association Press, 1972), p. 140:
"Next to punishment and guilt, a common reason for premarital pregnancy is the need of the
male to prove his masculinity. Reuben Pannor, a social worker at Vista Del Mar Child Care
Center in West Los Angeles, author of notable studies on the young unwed father, has found that
many of them came from homes that were female-dominated due to death or divorce or because
the father had abdicated his responsibility, leaving the son with 'weak or distorted masculine
identity.' Such boys often become involved in sexual relationships 'to prove their manhood.'"
Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the
Earth (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1987), p. 67: "Indeed, the further back one goes in time
the more bisexual, or gyndndrous, is the Great Mother. As Charlotte Woolf says in Love
Between Women, perhaps the present-day Lesbian woman is the closest in character to ancient
women--with their fierce insistence on strength, independence, and integrity of consciousness.
"The first love-object for both women and men is the mother; but in patriarchy, the son has to
reject the mother to be able to dominate the wife as 'a real man'--and the daughter must betray
her for the sake of "submitting to a man." In matriarchal society this double burden of biological
and spiritual betrayal does not occur. For both women and men there is a close identification
with the collective group of mothers, with Mother Earth, and with the Cosmic Mother. And, as
psychoanalysts keep repeating, this identification is conducive to bisexuality in both sexes. But
homosexuality in tribal or pagan men was not based on rejection of the Mother, or the female, as
is often true in patriarchal culture; rather, it was based on brother-love, brother-affinity, as sons
of the mother. And lesbianism among women was not based on a fear and rejection of men, but
on the daughter's desire to reestablish union with the Mother, and with her own femaleness."
Itabari Njeri, Los Angeles Times, 25 July, 1989: "Perhaps the crucial message in her book [Bebe
Moore Campbell's Sweet Summer]-- one still not fully understood by society, Campbell says--is
the importance of a father or a father-figure in a young girl's life.
"'Studies show that girls without that nurturing from a father or surrogate father are likely to
grow up with damaged self-esteem and are more likely to have problems with their own adult
relationships with men,' Campbell says."
Peter M. Weyrich, The Human Costs of Divorce: Who Is Paying? (Washington, D. C.: Free
Congress Foundation, 1988), pp.33f., citing George Rekers, "The Formation of a Homosexual
Orientation," presented at the Free Congress Foundation "Hope and Homosexuality" Conference,
1987: "Research suggests that in order for boys to develop their masculine identity properly, they
need a strong male role model, such as a father (biological or substitute) or an older brother. In
1983, Rekers, Mead, Rosen, and Brigham studied a group of gender-disturbed boys, and found a
high incidence of absent fathers. The average age of the boys when they were separated from
their fathers was approximately 3.5 years old. Eighty percent were 5 years old or younger when
the separation took place, and the reason for the fathers' absence was separation or divorce in
82% of the cases. The male gender disturbances varied from moderate to severe in the study, but
those who showed deep gender disturbances had neither a biological father nor a father substitute
living at home. Of the fathers who did live at home, 60% were described as psychologically
remote or apart from the other members of the family."
Kathleen Fury, "The Troubling Truth About Teen-Agers and Sex," Reader's Digest, June, 1980
[Condensed from Ladies' Home Journal, March, 1980], pp. 153f.: "Demographers at Johns
Hopkins University have found that young, white, teen-age girls living in fatherless families
were 60 percent more likely to have had intercourse than those living in two-parent homes."
EDUCATIONAL UNDERACHIEVEMENT
Newsweek, l3 May, l985: "It is easy enough to spot them, the so-called children of divorce.
Often, teachers say, the boys become extremely sloppy in their dress and study habits, even for
boys--and former class clowns are given to spontaneous crying. Junior-high-school girls, on the
other hand, sometimes begin wearing heavy makeup and jewelry, affecting a hard-bitten look, as
if to advertise the current lack of parental attention. First graders suddenly forget that they're
been toilet trained for years. And on any given day every single one of them, from kindergarten
to high school, seems to have left home, wherever home may be at the moment, without lunch
money.
"Nor is there anything mysterious about this behavior. As Chuckie Marshall, a fourth grader
from Denver, recently told his divorced mother, 'I think about you and Daddy a lot at school'--
and such thoughts lead inevitably to insecurity and anger, depression and, perhaps most often,
guilt....[T]he Los Angeles County Board of Education now runs seminars to help teachers deal
with the problems of children from 'reconstituted homes': their predictable academic declines and
sudden behavior swings....[S]ome kids who appear to be coping eventually display 'time-bomb
symptoms' such as drug use and precocious sexual activity years after a family has broken up
and resettled."
Rex Forehand, et al., "Family Characteristics of Adolescents Who Display Overt and Covert
Behavior Problems," Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 18, [December,
1987]: 325-328; epitomized in The Family in America, April, 1988: "The kid who causes the
most trouble in school most likely comes from a divorced family. In a new study of 23 white
adolescents, their mothers, and their teachers, researchers set out to examine two types of
antisocial behavior in children--'overt' (fighting, temper tantrums) and 'covert' (stealing, lying,
truancy, falling in with bad companions). Their findings: the worst troublemaker, the child who
engaged in both kinds of behavior (both fighting and stealing, for instance) was far more likely
to come from a broken home than was the child who engaged in only one type or was well-
behaved. Out of seven of the worst troublemakers in this survey, six came from divorced
families."
Paul G. Shane, "Changing Patterns Among Homeless and Runaway Youth," American Journal
of Orthopsychiatry, 59, April, 1989, 208- 214: "In general, homeless youth are more likely to
come from female-headed, single-parent, or reconstituted families with many children,
particularly step-siblings."
R. F. Doyle, The Rape of the Male (St. Paul, Minn: Poor Richard's Press, 1976), p. 145, citing
Starke Hathaway and Elio Monachesi, Adolescent Personality and Behavior, p. 8l: "More than
one in three children of broken families drop out of school."
Yochanan Peres and Rachel Pasternack, "The Importance of Marriage for Socialization: A
Comparison of Achievements and Social Adjustment Between Offspring of One- and Two-
Parent Families in Israel," in Contemporary Marriage: Comparative Perspectus of a Changing
Institution, ed. Kingsley Davis in association with Amyra Grossbard-Schechtman (New York:
Russell Sage Foundation, 1985), pp. 162ff.: "Table 6.2 shows that in all three subject matters
[Arithmetic, English, Hebrew] children of matrifocal families have significantly lower scholastic
achievement than children raised in two-parent families....
To make sure that these differences in achievement are not due to background factors, we
applied a multivariate regression analysis to the data. Table 6.3 indicates that when many
relevant background factors are controlled, children of intact families performed significantly
better in arithmetic than children from matrifocal families....Similar regressions run on English
and Hebrew scores also showed a highly significant new effect of parental marital status on
achievement. In addition, regressions run on a sample from which children of hostile families
and their controls were excluded (thus allowing us to assess the effect of 'pure' matrifocality)
demonstrate that matrifocality has highly significant (negative) influence on all three measures of
children's scholastic achievements. A similar overall detriment from father absence has been
reported by several investigators over the last two decades.
Dale J. Hu et al., "Healthcare Needs for Children of the Recently Homeless," Journal of
Community Health, 14, 1989, 1-7; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research,
November, 1989: "Homeless children are usually fatherless children as well. In a recent survey
of thirty parents with children in a homeless shelter in San Diego, researchers talked with only
two fathers and with relatively few married mothers. Nine of the homeless parents interviewed
had never married, while ten were separated, divorced or widowed, making a total of 63 percent
of the homeless parents interviewed who were living without a spouse."
James Coleman, "Educational Achievement: What We Can Learn from the Catholic Schools,"
Associates Memo, Manhattan Institute for Policy Research, No. 15, November 4, l988: "It is
important to remember that schools as we know them have never been very successful with weak
families. These days many more families have become weak, either because they are single-
parent families or because both parents are working and the family cannot devote sufficient time
and attention to children."
Henry B. Biller and Richard S. Solomon, Child Maltreatment and Paternal Deprivation: A
Manifesto for Research, Prevention and Treatment (Lexington, Mass.: D. C. Heath and
Company, 1986), p. 136: "[C]omparison of children who have from an early age been
consistently deprived of paternal influence with those who have had actively and positively
involved fathers clearly reveals that the former are generally less adequate in their functioning
and development."
Ibid., p 151: "The first investigator to present data suggesting an intellectual disadvantage among
father-absent children was Sutherland (l930). In an ambitious study involving Scottish children,
he discovered that those who were father-absent scored significantly lower than did those who
were father- present....A number of more recent and better controlled studies are also generally
consistent with the supposition that father- absent children, at least from lower-class
backgrounds, are less likely to function well on intelligence and aptitude tests than are father-
present children....
"Maxwell (l96l) reported some evidence indicating that father- absence after the age of five
negatively influences children's functioning on certain cognitive tasks. He analyzed the Wechsler
Intelligence Test scores of a large group of eight-to-thirteen- year-old children who had been
referred to a British psychiatric clinic. He found that children whose fathers had been absent
since the children were five performed below the norms for their age on a number of subtests.
Children who had become father-absent after the age of five had lower scores on tasks tapping
social knowledge, perception of details, and verbal skills. Father-absence since the age of five
was the only family background variable which was consistently related to subtest
scores....Compared to father- present students, those who were father-absent performed at a
lower level in terms of verbal, language, and total aptitude test scores.
"In a related investigation, Landy, Rosenberg, and Sutton- Smith (l969) found that father-
absence had a particularly disruptive effect on the quantitative aptitudes of college females. Total
father-absence before the age of ten was highly associated with a deficit in quantitative aptitude.
Their findings also suggested that father-absence during the age period from three to seven may
have an especially negative effect on academic aptitude....
"For both boys and girls, father-absence was associated with relatively low ability in perceptual-
motor and manipulative-spatial tasks (block design and object assembly). Father-absent boys
also scored lower than did father-present boys on the arithmetic subtest....In a study with black
elementary-school boys, Cortes and Fleming (l968) also reported an association between father-
absence and poor mathematical functioning."
Ibid., p 154: "The high father-present group was very superior to the other three groups. With
respect to both grades and achievement test scores, the early father-absent boys were generally
underachievers, the late father-absent boys and low father-present boys usually functioned
somewhat below grade level, and the high father-present group performed above grade level.
"The early father-absent boys were consistently handicapped in their academic performance.
They scored significantly lower on every achievement test index as well as in their grades....
"Santrock (l972) presented additional evidence indicating that early father-absence can have a
significant debilitating effect on cognitive functioning. Among lower-class junior high and high
school children, those who became father-absent before the age of five, and particularly before
the age of two, generally scored significantly lower on measures of IQ (Otis Quick Test) and
achievement (Stanford Achievement Test) that had been administered when they were in the
third and sixth grades than did those from intact homes. The most detrimental effects occurred
when father- absence was due to divorce, desertion, or separation, rather than to death....
"Hetherington, Cox and Cox...also reported data indicating that early father-absence can impede
cognitive development. They found differences between the cognitive functioning of young boys
(five- and six-year-olds) who had been father-absent for two years because of divorce and that of
boys from intact families Boys from intact families scored significantly higher on the block
design, mazes, and arithmetic subtests of the WIPSI as well as achieving higher Performance
Scale Intelligence scores and marginally higher Full-Scale Intelligence scores. Other data from
this study clearly suggest that the decreasing availability of the divorced fathers for their sons
during the two years following the divorce was a major factor in these boys' lower level of
performance compared with boys from intact families."
Ibid., p. 155: "There is evidence that early paternal deprivation has a cumulative impact as the
child grows older. In her excellent review, Radin (l98l) noted several studies that indicated few if
any cognitive differences associated with father- absence for black children entering first grade,
but evidence of clear-cut superiority of father-present children by the later elementary-school
years. Differences in academic performance as a function of variations in the quality of early
father involvement seem to become more apparent as children grow older...."
Henry B. Biller, Father, Child and Sex Role (Lexington, Mass.: D. C. Heath and Company,
1971), p. 57: "Investigators have found that among lower-class black children, those who are
father-absent score lower on intelligence and achievement tests than do those who are father-
present."
Ibid., p. 59: "Boys from high father-present families are more likely to actualize their intellectual
potential than are boys from families in which the father is absent or relatively unavailable."
Ibid., p. 60: "Barclay and Cusumano's data [Barclay, A. G. and Cusumano, D., "Father-Absence,
Cross-Sex Identity, and Field- Dependent Behavior in Male Adolescents." Child Development,
l967, 38, 243-50] point to difficulties in analytical functioning being associated with father-
absence. Using Witkin's rod and frame procedure, these investigators found that, among
adolescent males, those who were father-absent were more field-dependent than those who were
father-present. Field dependence relates to an inability to ignore irrelevant environmental cues in
the analysis of certain types of problems."
Ibid., p. 63: "For example, among children in the lower class, father-absence usually intensifies
lack of exposure to experiences linking intellectual activities with masculine interests. Many
boys, in their intense efforts to view themselves as totally masculine, perceive intellectual tasks
and school in general as feminine. When the school presents women as authority figures and
makes strong demands for obedience and conformity, it is particularly antithetical to such boys'
desperate attempts to feel masculine."
John Guidubaldi and Joseph D. Perry, "Divorce, Socioeconomic Status, and Children's
Cognitive-Social Competence at School Entry," American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 54 (3).
July, l984, 459-68: "The direction of the relationships indicates that children from single-parent
homes tended to have significantly lower academic and personal-social competencies than did
children from two-parent families....This study provides evidence that children from divorced
family homes enter school with significantly less social and academic competence than those
from intact families....[S]ingle-parent status resulting from divorce predicts poor academic and
social school entry competence in addition to and independent of SES [socio-economic status]."
Rex Forehand, et al., "Adolescent Functioning as a Consequence of Recent Parental Divorce and
the Parent-Adolescent Relationship," Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 8, [l987],
305-15; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, June, l988: "University of
Georgia researchers found that those from broken homes had greater difficulties both with their
classes and with their relations with their peers. 'Adolescents from intact homes had higher
grades and were perceived as more socially competent by teachers,' the authors report. Their
explanation: 'When parents divorce, their use of effective monitoring and disciplinary
procedures, as well as their positive relationship with their children, may diminish. As a
consequence, the social competence and cognitive performance of the child...may deteriorate.'"
Patricia Moran and Allan Barclay, "Effects of Fathers' Absence on Delinquent Boys:
Dependency and Hyper-masculinity," Psychological Reports 62 [l988], ll5-121; epitomized in
The Family in America: New Research, June, l988: "[W]hen the father is absent from the home,
young black males experience 'less internalization of society's norms.' Drs. Moran and Barclay
suggest that it is precisely this 'lack of internalized norms' which may be responsible for
'behavior of an antisocial and delinquent nature.'
"Intriguingly, the new study found that black delinquents whose fathers were absent were 'more
overtly masculine in their expressed interests and behavior' than were black adolescents whose
fathers were present.' The authors speculate that 'delinquency represents defensive coping'
among black youth who develop attitudes of 'hypermasculinity' to compensate for the absence of
their fathers."
David H. Demo and Alan C. Acock, "The Impact of Divorce on Children," Journal of Marriage
and the Family, 50 [August, 1988], 619-48; epitomized in The Family in America: New
Research, November, 1988: "Young children, particularly boys, are hard hit by divorce. Children
of various ages are disadvantaged in school performance. Children 'in disrupted families
experience problems in peer relations, while adolescents in such families tend to be more active
in dating and sexual relations.' And 'research on antisocial behavior consistently illustrates that
adolescents in mother-only households and in conflict-ridden families are more prone to commit
delinquent acts.'"
Gary Bauer, "Report to the President from the White House Working Group on the Family,"
quoted in Phyllis Schlafly Report, February, 1988: "A two-year study funded by Kent State, the
William T. Grant Foundation and the National Association of School Psychologists, found that
there were substantial differences between children of intact families and those of divorced
families. "Children of divorce also are absent from school more frequently and are more likely to
repeat a grade, to be placed in remedial reading classes and to be referred to a school
psychologist,' says the study of 699 randomly chosen first, third and fifth graders in 38 states. In
addition, John Guidubaldi, Professor of Early Childhood Education and director of the study,
noted 'far more detrimental effects of divorce on boys than on girls. Disruptions in boys'
classroom behavior and academic performance increased 'noticeably' throughout elementary
school. Boys, he speculated, are much more affected by their parents' divorce because children
fare better with single parents of the same sex, and 90 percent of all custody rights go to
mothers."
Gilbert C. Hentschke [dean of the school of education, USC] and Lydia Lopez, co-chairpersons
of the Education Working Group of the 2000 Partnership, Los Angeles Times, 30 August, 1989:
"After several years of education reforms, it is more evident than ever that our Los Angeles
public schools are failing....About 60% of the district's children come from impoverished
families. While some poor children do succeed, poverty is closely correlated with failure,
especially for children from single-parent families, according to a recent national study. The
study also notes that poor students are three times more likely than others to become dropouts.
"These children who are failing swell the ranks of functionally illiterate adults (now estimated to
be 20% of the population in Los Angeles County). They enter the economy at the bottom where
they are likely to stay."
Henry Biller and Dennis Meredith, Father Power (Garden City, N. Y.: Anchor Books, 1975), p.
236: "The high father-present boys consistently received superior grades and performed above
grade level on achievement tests. The late father-absent and low father- present boys scored a
little below grade level on achievement tests. The lowest scores were achieved by the early
father-absent group."
Frank J. Sciara, "Effects of Father Absence on the Educational Achievement of Urban Black
Children," Child Study Journal, 5, No. 1, 1975, p. 45: "The analysis of variance revealed
significant differences favoring the academic achievement of both boys and girls from father
present homes in the two test areas. Father absence had a much greater effect on the achievement
scores of boys and girls in this study whose IQ was above 100."
Ibid., p. 52: "From the analysis of the results, it would appear that for the 1,073 fourth grade
Black children represented in this study, those from father present homes attained a significantly
higher educational achievement level than those children from the same group coming from
father absent homes.. This finding was consistent in both the reading and the arithmetic tests,
affecting both boys and girls. When the group was analyzed by the three levels of IQ, the father
absent children achieved lower reading and arithmetic scores than those from father present
homes."
Betty Arras, California Monitor of Education [now National Monitor of Education], February,
1985: "As a kindergarten teacher in the late fifties in a ghetto school in Oakland, California, I can
personally testify to the negative impact of the broken home upon school achievement and
emotional stability. My observation shared by virtually all my colleagues in that school was that
broken homes hurt children in every way--emotionally, academically, and socially. Obviously,
there are children from single parent homes who grow up with few emotional scars but generally
speaking, the elements for personality disintegration are more common in the broken home.
Because of increasing numbers of families in which both parents work spending less time at
home, children in both these and single-parent homes tend to experience a lack of nurturing. All
children need psychological nourishment whether it be in the form of supporting them in their
feelings, soothing their anxieties, helping them with homework, or just sharing conversation.
What is frequently missing in the broken home is a lack of parental supervision which can result
in feelings of isolation, excessive freedom or responsibility which the child cannot handle, and/or
lack of attention and affection. In broken homes of the welfare variety there is the problem of no
father figure with whom the sons can identity.
"On February 5, ABC-TV national news aired the first in a series about violent crime in the
cities. A New York City policeman who was interviewed pointed out that nearly all juveniles
who commit violent crimes come from broken homes."
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS
Adelaide M. Johnson and S. A. Szurels, "The Genesis of Antisocial Acting Out in Children and
Adults," Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 1952, 21: 323-343; quoted in Betty Friedan, The Feminine
Mystique (New York: W. W. Norton, 1963), p. 297: "Regularly the more important parent--
usually the mother, although the father is always in some way involved--has been seen
unconsciously to encourage the amoral or antisocial behavior of the child. The neurotic needs of
the parent...are vicariously gratified by the behavior of the child. Such neurotic needs of the
parent exist either because of some current inability to satisfy them in the world of adults, or
because of the stunting experiences in the parent's own childhood--or more commonly, because
of a combination of both of these factors."
John Beer, "Relation of Divorce to Self-Concepts and Grade Point Averages of Fifth Grade
School Children," Psychological Reports, 65 [1989], 104-106; quoted in The Family in America:
New Research, December, 1989: "Children from divorced homes score lower on self-concept
than do children from nondivorced homes."
Berthold Berg and Lawrence A. Kurdek, "Children's Beliefs About Parental Divorce Scale:
Psychometric Characteristics and Concurrent Validity," Journal of Consulting and Clinical
Psychology, 55, [October, 1987], 712-18; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research,
January, 1988: "In a recent study of 170 children (ranging in age from six to 17) with divorced
parents, psychologists at the University of Dayton and Wright State University uncovered a
disturbing pattern. The research team found that many of the children surveyed expressed one or
more 'problematic beliefs' about their parents' divorce. Over one-fourth of the children blamed
themselves for their parents' divorce and suffered 'low self-concepts.' Over one-fourth of children
also harbored illusory hopes that 'once my parents realize how much I want them to, they'll live
together again.' Approximately one- third express 'fear of abandonment' by their parents, a fear
which actually appears higher among children whose divorced mothers have remarried than
among children whose divorced mothers have not remarried."
Tony Campolo, "Too Old, Too Soon: The New Junior Higher," Youthworker, 4, [Spring, 1987],
20-25; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, August, 1987: "...Dr. Compolo
observes that young Americans now 'do things in their early teens that a generation ago were
reserved for older high schoolers.' The primary reason for this 'transformation of junior highers,'
he believes, is the 'diminishing presence of parents' in the lives of young adolescents. Because
many of them live in single-parent homes or in two-income homes where both parents are 'out of
their homes much of the time,' young teenagers are 'left with the freedom to do what they want to
do.'...Dr. Campolo reports that many young teenagers become 'emotionally disturbed and
psychologically disoriented' when given personal autonomy prematurely."
Carolyn Webster-Stratton, "The Relationship of Marital Support, Conflict and Divorce to Parent
Perceptions, Behaviors, and Childhood Conduct Problems," Journal of Marriage and the Family,
51 [1989], 417-30, quoted in The Family in America: New Research, October, 1989: "Compared
with the maritally distressed [households in which couples reported relatively unsatisfactory
marriages] and supported [households in which mothers reported satisfactory marriages] mother
groups, single mothers reported more parenting stress and perceived their children as having
significantly more behavior problems."
Robert Zagar, et. al., "Developmental and Disruptive Behavior Disorders among Delinquents,"
Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 28 (1989), 437-440;
epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, September, 1989: "Psychotic delinquents
rarely come from intact families. Officials documented a familiar pattern in a recent survey of
almost 2,000 children and adolescents referred by the Circuit Court of Cook County--Juvenile
Division for psychiatric evaluation. This group of troubled children included 84 orphans (4
percent), 1,272 from single-parent homes (65 percent), 269 from stepparent families (14 percent)
and just 331 from two-parent families (17 percent).
"As the court officials noted in reporting their findings, there was nothing new about the linkage
between delinquency and broken homes."
"These children are at risk psychiatrically. The risks are as follows: First, the child may become
psychiatrically disturbed; second, that they may turn away from marriage as a satisfactory mode
of human relationships; and third, the children of divorce can develop psychiatric disorders in
later adult life that have as their origin the broken home which is at the least a contributing
factor.
"Now, after children of divorce marry many problems arise in role modeling. Young men often
have problems because the mother projects a variety of role models. Sometimes she has turned
her son into a substitute husband. Other times she takes out all of her hostility and anger on him
and attributes to him the same problems that his father had, the same personality patterns. If he
tries to live up to her expectations he finds that it is beyond his capacity. Children of divorce also
have poor impulse control.
"Many mothers feel incapable of administering firm discipline. If you have a 6 foot 2 son and the
mother is 5 foot 4, it is difficult for her to discipline that child and deal with him in a way that is
effective.
"Since the behavior of parents before, during, and after divorce most often reflects a disparate
value system, the child also grown up with poorly defined values.
"In the past our interest has been in comparing the homelife of normal people with people with
mental problems. We came to the conclusion that normal people come from homes where there
is a stable, harmonious marriage of the parents, where there is love and order in the home, where
there is administration of consistent and just discipline, where roles are well defined, and where
the presentation of a traditional value system is presented, and where there is a philosophy to live
by, this gives some structure to their thinking and to their lives.
"The studies of people like Grinker, Valliant and ourselves have clearly demonstrated the
influence of these particular basic principles of home life.
"In contrast, the observations of Sheldon and Eleanor Glueck of people who have been
delinquent--have clearly demonstrated that you can grow up in the ghetto, and if you have a
well-structured home life, your chances of being a normal person and being out of that ghetto in
a few years--is extremely high. Whereas if you grow up in a broken home with an harassed
mother where value systems are poorly presented and where discipline is often harsh and unjust
and inconsistent, you will grow up to be delinquent. At the end of 20 years' followup, you will
still be delinquent and still living in the ghetto.
"The same thing can be said to be true about heroin addicts and alcoholics. In our study of over
450 alcoholics and 80 heroin addicts--we found that the absent father is a very common
phenomenon. As a matter of fact, it is the rule rather than the exception.
"We find also that there is enormous distortion in the structure of the homes of manic depressive
patients and schizophrenic patients. There father operates in roles which are grossly distorted.
Many times they are emotionally absent.
"In a different version, Frances Welsing had emphasized that the biggest problem facing blacks
in America today is the absence of the father from the home and the role reversals found in the
black family. Her observations now are beginning to apply equally to all families, whether they
are black or white or other racial origins.
"Finally I would add that we also have looked at the family structure of abused children who
have grown up. Most of these children are now what we call borderline personality disorders.
They too often have a father who is in and out of the home or is not available on a consistent
basis.
"Now, just to summarize what I had to say, and I did not prepare any long statements because I
think the data and the literature speaks for itself. The absence of the father from the home has the
following effects on a growing child:
"After the second year of life it profoundly distorts the development of normal role assumption.
A person really does not come to know who he is within his own sex. Second, it is a primary
cause of low self-esteem....[Coopersmith's] work and the work of Rosenberg has shown that the
father's presence in the home is an absolute necessity for the development of good self-esteem in
males. Our own studies have demonstrated quite clearly that it is also necessary for the mother to
be in the home for a female to develop good self-esteem.
"Third, it created a model of separation and/or divorce for the management of marital conflict in
their own lives as they become adults.
"Fourth, it also distorts values development so that the child has a tendency to adopt peer values
rather than the conventional values of the parent with whom they continue to live. We find this
very frequently among heroin addicts and alcoholics."
Ibid., p. 97: "[A]bout half of the kids who come from broken homes end up with a broken home
fairly promptly after they contract their first marriage."
Ibid., pp. 79ff.: Statement of Henry B. Biller, Ph.D, Professor of Psychology, University of
Rhode Island to House Committee on Children, Youth, and Families, 10 November, 1984:
"There is much evidence that paternally deprived children are more at risk for cognitive and
behavioral adjustment difficulties and are more vulnerable to negative developmental influences
than are adequately fathered children.
"Father-absent males seem particularly likely to develop insecurity in their self-concept and
sexuality. There is some evidence that males are more affected by father absence than are
females, but there is a growing body of research which supports the conclusion that by
adolescence, females are at least as much influenced in their interpersonal and heterosexual
development by father absence as are males.
"Research points to a particularly high frequency of early and continuing father absence among
emotionally disturbed children and adults. Of course, in some cases constitutionally atypical
children contribute to the development of marital stress, conflict and parental separation.
"Some data indicate that individuals who suffered early father loss because of their father's death
are more likely to show symptoms of inhibition, lack of assertiveness, anxiety and depression,
but are less likely to have the cognitive, academic and impulse control problems often found in
children of divorced parents.
"Much of the interest in paternal deprivation has been an outcome of growing concern with the
psychological, social and economic disadvantages often suffered by fatherless children. There is
much evidence that paternally-deprived children are more at-risk for cognitive and behavioral
adjustment difficulties, and are more vulnerable to negative developmental influences than are
adequately fathered children.
"Father absence before the age of four or five appears to have a more disruptive effect on the
individual's personality development than does father absence beginning at a later period. For
example, children who become father absent before the age of four or five are likely to have
more difficulties in their sex role and sexual adjustment than either father-present children or
children who become father-absent at a later time. Father-absent males seem particularly likely
to develop insecurity in their self- concept and sexuality even though they may strive to be
highly masculine in more manifest aspects of their behavior.
"Other data have indicated that early father absence is often associated with difficulties in
intellectual and academic functioning (particularly analytical and quantitative abilities), a low
level of independence and assertiveness in peer relations, feelings of inferiority and mistrust of
others, antisocial and delinquent behavior, and difficulties in later occupational performance.
"Both boys and girls need to learn how to relate with adult males. Many children who are
paternally deprived become enmeshed in a cycle of difficulty in establishing intimate
relationships that continues into adulthood and interferes with the development of a stable family
life. The experience of divorce is likely to be a family heirloom that extends into the next
generation. Growing up with divorced parents does relate to increased risks in development,
although certainly some children who have been subjected to divorce, and broken homes, strive
and succeed as adults to have very stable, positive marital and family relationships.
"But in a general way there may be a kind of generation-to- generation effect relating to the
divorce experience not only in disadvantaged families, but also among the affluent."
Ibid., pp. 86ff., Statement of Michael E. Lamb, Professor, Department of Psychology, Psychiatry
and Pediatrics, University of Utah to House Select Committee on Children, Youth, and Families,
10 November, 1984: "As Dr. Biller reported, it appears in general that boys whose fathers are
absent, usually due to divorce, tend to manifest problems in the areas of achievement,
motivation, school performance, psychological adjustment, and heterosexual relationships. They
also tend to manifest less stereotypically masculine sex roles and may have difficulties in the
areas of self- control and aggression.
"The effects seem to be most marked when the father's absence begins early, and at least some
effects can be ameliorated by having substitute relationships with males such as stepfathers,
grandfathers, and so on. At least in the areas of sex role and achievement, the effects of
psychological father absence appear qualitatively similar to, although quantitatively less than, the
effects of physical father absence.
"The effects of father absence on girls have been less thoroughly studied and appear to be less
severe than the effects on boys. Problems in heterosexual relationships may emerge in
adolescence even though, as in boys, the effects again are more severe when father absence
began earlier.
Ibid., p. 111. Statement of David W. Bahlmann, Executive Vice President of Big Brothers/Big
Sisters of America, and Chair of the National Collaboration for Youth: "Present research
indicates that children from one-parent homes show lower achievement and present more
discipline problems than do their peers. It also shows that they tend to be absent from school
more often, late to school more often, and may show more health problems than do their peers."
Ibid., p. 128. Statement of Rev. Herman Heade, Jr., National Director of Urban Affairs and
Church Relations, Prison Fellowship, Washington,D.C.: "[P]aternally deprived individuals are
overrepresented among individuals with psychological problems."
Heather Munroe Blum, et al., "Single Parent Families: Academic and Psychiatric Risk," Journal
of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 27 [1988], 214-219; epitomized
in The Family in America: New Research, July, 1988: "The children of broken homes are
frequently emotionally disturbed and academically incompetent. In a new study of nearly 3,000
Canadian children (ages 4-16), researchers found that 'children with psychiatric disorder are 1.7
times more likely to be from a single-parent family than a two- parent family.' One major
disturbance--'conduct disorder'--was found to be well over twice as common in children of single
parents. The same children who are suffering emotionally are also suffering educationally:
'single-parent children are 1.7 times as likely to demonstrate poor school performance as are two-
parent children.'
"Perhaps fearful of antagonizing some feminists, the authors suggest that it is poverty, not
divorce and illegitimacy, that is the cause of the children's problems. They state that, when
household income is allowed for, single-parent family status 'does not have a significant
independent relationship with either child psychiatric disorder or poor school performance,
except in particular subgroups'(emphasis added). But the list of 'particular subgroups' who suffer
in one-parent homes regardless of income turns out to be surprisingly inclusive: "rural children,
girls, and older boys.' Since when were girls merely a 'particular subgroup' of the young
population? Furthermore, the authors concede, 'the younger boys might also develop problems'
in later years."
Richard Polanco, Los Angeles Times, 7 May, 1989: "As of 1988, more than 35,000 adolescents
nationwide were in psychiatric treatment in the private sector. This figure has doubled since
1980, and the numbers are growing....The absence of involvement of the father in so many post-
divorce families, coupled with the overburdened state of many single mothers, seems at least
partly responsible for the prevalence of externalizing, aggressive behavior problems among
children of divorce."
Elyce Wakerman, Father Loss: Daughters Discuss the Man that Got Away (Garden City, N. Y:
Doubleday, 1984), p. l09: "A study of teenage girls by Dr. E. Mavis Hetherington revealed that
daughters of divorced parents had lower self-esteem than those of intact or widowed families. By
aligning with mother's anger, they may have blunted the reconciliation wish, but it was at the
cost of their own self-image. Describing the self-defeating pattern, Deidre Laiken writes, 'Being
one with Mother means relinquishing our natural and necessary longings for Father...[But] low
self-esteem is a natural and very evident result of a merger with the...parent who was left...'
Identifying with the rejected female, as most daughters of divorce do, has two other, far-reaching
influences on the young girl's developing attitudes. First, she may incorporate her mother's
bitterness and distrust of men. And she is reluctant to succeed where her mother has failed.
Having lost her father, she is acutely dependent on her mother's continued affection, and to
surpass her in the romantic arena would be to risk separation from her one remaining parent."
Ibid., p. 169: "It is little wonder that fatherless girls are visibly anxious around men. In fact, both
fatherless groups in the Hetherington study scored a higher overall anxiety level on the Manifest
Anxiety Scale than did girls with fathers at home. Craving male attention, they are equally
resolved to remain invulnerable. They would like to be loved, without the threat posed by loving.
That way, the need for approval may be safely gratified and the attachment to father
unrelinquished."
Alfred A. Messer, "Boys' Father Hunger: The Missing Father Syndrome," Medical Aspects of
Human Sexuality, 23, January, 1989, 44-47, epitomized in The Family in America: New
Research, July, 1989: "Nightmares often trouble the sleep of young boys who have lost their
fathers. A psychiatrist at Northside Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, Alfred A. Messer describes
'father hunger' as 'the newest syndrome described by child psychiatrists.' Dr. Messer reports that
this syndrome, which occurs in boys ages 18 to 36 months, 'consists primarily of sleep
disturbances, such as trouble falling asleep, nightmares, and night terrors, and coincides with the
recent loss of the father due to divorce or separation....In boys who exhibit the father-hunger
syndrome, these sleep disturbances usually begin within one to three months after the father
leaves home.'
"Young boys suffer from troubled sleep because of 'the abrupt loss of a father' during a 'critical
period of gender development.' Dr. Messer explains that 'children recognize the difference
between maleness and femaleness as early as 14 months of age' and that between the ages of 18
to 36 months, a young boy 'learns to establish his physical and gender role identity.' 'If the young
boy is deprived of the father's presence, the result can be deeply traumatic,' Messer emphasizes.
When the father is absent, the young boy may 'remain in a prolonged state of dependence on the
mother, with "sissy" behavior often a concomitant.'"
Henry Biller, Father, Child and Sex Role (Lexington, Mass: D. C. Heath and Company, 1971), p.
3: "In a very thorough investigation, Stolz et al. [Stolz, L. M., et al. Father Relations of War-
Born Children. Stanford: Stanford University Press, l954] gathered data concerning four- to
eight-year-old children who from approximately the first two years of their lives had been
separated from their fathers. Interview results revealed that the previously father-separated boys
were generally perceived by their fathers as being 'sissies.' Careful observation of these boys
supported this view. They were less assertively aggressive and independent in their peer relations
than boys who had not been separated from their fathers; they were more often observed to be
very submissive or to react with immature hostility."
Ibid., pp. 6f.: "A study of lower-class fifth grade boys by Santrock [Santrock, J. W., "Influence
of Onset and Type of Paternal Absence on the First Four Eriksonian Developmental Crises,"
Developmental Psychology, l970, 3, 273-4.] revealed that boys who became father-absent before
the age of two were more handicapped in terms of several dimensions of personality
development than were boys who became father-absent at a later age. For example, boys who
became father-absent before age two were found to be less trusting, less industrious, and to have
more feelings of inferiority than boys who became father-absent between the ages of three to
five. The impact of early paternal deprivation is also supported by Carlsmith's findings
[Carlsmith, L., "Effect of Early Father-Absence on Scholastic Aptitude," Harvard Educational
Review, l964, 34, 3-21] concerning cognitive functioning. Additional evidence is consistent with
the supposition that early father- absence is associated with a heightened susceptibility to a
variety of psychological problems."
Ibid., p. 14: "However, many boys separated from their fathers between the ages of 6 and 12
exhibited a feminine-aggressive pattern of behavior. A feminine-aggressive pattern of behavior
can be a consequence of sex-role conflict and insecurity. It is interesting that Tiller [Tiller, P. O.,
"Father-Absence and Personality Development of Children in Sailor Families," Nordisk
Psyckologi's Monograph Series, 1958, 9, 1-48] described a somewhat similar pattern of behavior
for Norwegian father-separated boys."
Ibid., p. 18: "Comparisons of father-absent and father-present boys suggested that availability of
the father is an important factor in the masculine development of young boys. There is evidence
that the young father-absent boy is more dependent, less aggressive, and less competent in peer
relationships than his father-present counterpart. He seems likely to have an unmasculine self-
concept."
Ibid., p. 65: "In societies in which fathers have little contact with their young children, there is
more of a tendency to blame others and/or supernatural beings for one's illness. Blaming one's
self for illness was strongest in nuclear households and least in polygamous mother-child
households. Such evidence is also consistent with the view that paternal deprivation can inhibit
the development of trust in others."
Ibid., p. 65: "Father-absent boys consistently scored lower than father-present boys on a variety
of moral indexes. They scored lower on measures of internal moral judgement, guilt following
transgressions, acceptance of blame, moral values, and rule-conformity."
Ibid., p. 65: "A number of clinicians including Aichorn [Aichorn, A., Wayward Youth, New
York: Viking Press, l935] and Lederer [Lederer, W. "Dragons, Delinquents, and Destiny,"
Psychological Issues, l964, 4, (Whole No. 3)] have speculated about inadequacies in the
conscience development of the father-absent boy. In his experience as a psychotherapist,
Meerloo [Meerloo, J. A. M., "The Father Cuts the Cord: The Role of the Father as Initial
Transference Figure," American Journal of Psychotherapy, l956, l0, 471-80] found that a lack of
accurate time perception is also common among father-absent children. Meerloo assumed that
the father represents social order and that his adherence to time schedules gives the child an
important lesson in social functioning. The paternally deprived boy may find it very difficult to
follow the rules of society. Antisocial acts are often impulsive as well as aggressive, and there is
evidence that inability to delay gratification is associated with inaccurate time perception, lack of
social responsibility, low achievement motivation, and juvenile delinquency....the father-absent
boy may lack a model from whom to learn to delay gratification and to control his aggressive
and destructive impulses. A boy who has experienced paternal deprivation may have particular
difficulty in respecting and communicating with adult males in positions of authority. There is
some evidence that perceived similarity to father is related to positive relationships with
authority figures....The boy whose father has set limits for him--in a nurturant and realistic
manner--is better able to set limits for himself. Investigators have found that boys who receive
appropriate and consistent discipline from their fathers are less likely to commit delinquent acts
even if they are gang members."
Irma Moilanen and Paula Rantakallio, "The Single Parent Family and the Child's Mental
Health," Social Science and Medicine, 27 [l988], l8l-6; epitomized in The Family in America:
New Research, October, l988: "The evidence mounts that children without two parents are much
more likely to develop psychiatric problems....Finnish researchers found that children from
single- parent homes were at significantly greater risk from most psychiatric disorders than
children from intact homes. Those who had only one parent through the child's life were at
greatest risk: boys were three times as likely to be disturbed as their counterparts from intact
families, and girls were four times as likely to be disturbed. Nor was the harm strictly mental."
Patricia Cohen and Judith Brook, "Family Factors Related to the Persistence of Pshchopathology
in Childhood and Adolescence," Psychiatry 50 [November, 1987]: 332-345; quoted in The
Family in America, April, 1988: "One-parent families and families with multiple marital
disruptions are apparently unable to mount effective means of counteracting pathological
reactions that have developed in their children."
Viktor Gecas, "Born in the USA in the 1980's: Growing Up in Difficult Times," Journal of
Family Issues 8 [December, 1987], 434- 436; epitomized in The Family in America: New
Research, July, 1988: "'What are the consequences of these family trends [rising levels of
divorce, illegitimacy and maternal employment] for child rearing? Not good. At the very least,
these trends suggest decreasing contact between parents and children, and decreasing parental
involvement in child rearing....Poor cognitive and emotional development, low self-esteem, low
self-efficiency, antisocial behavior, and pathologies of various kinds are some of the
consequences.'
"Professor Gecas blames family breakdown for the disturbing levels of drug use, teen pregnancy,
teen suicide, delinquency, and academic failure now found in America. Nothing, he urges, could
be more important than to strengthen the family 'if the next generation is to have much of a
chance.'"
Boris M. Segal, "A Borderline Style of Functioning--the Role of Family, Society and Heredity:
An Overview," Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 18 [Summer, 1988], 219-238;
epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, November, 1988: "According to
psychiatrist Boris M. Segal, the 'borderline style of functioning' (a diagnosis used 'to describe
conditions which lie between psychosis and neurosis') should be understood as a symptom of a
broader social malaise. Dr. Segal concludes that 'borderline organization' is increasing among
Americans in part because of the 'decline of paternal authority.' 'The decline of the father-
centered family...has left children to develop their own standards of behavior. This new freedom
has been conducive...to such modern phenomena as lack of discipline and lack of a feeling of
duty, overindulgence, narcissism, hedonism, sexual permissiveness, intolerance to frustration,
[and] sex role confusion....All these behavioral patterns meet certain criteria of borderline
organization.' Dr. Segal observes that 'disorganization of the family lead[s] to the loss of its
protective functions....Children who have been brought up in "broken homes"...tend to develop a
high rate of borderline pathology.'"
Irwin Garfinkel and Sara S. McLanahan, Single Mothers and Their Children: A New American
Dilemma (Washington, D. C.: The Urban Institute Press, 1986), pp. 1f.: "Half of all American
children born today will spend part of their childhood in a family headed by a mother who is
divorced, unwed, or widowed....About half of them are poor and dependent on welfare. The
mothers and children in such families also have poorer than average mental health and use a
disproportionate share of community mental health services. Most important, perhaps, compared
with children who grow up in two-parent (husband-wife) families, the children from mother-
only families are less successful on average when they become adults. They are more likely to
drop out of school, to give birth out of wedlock, to divorce or separate, and to become dependent
on welfare."
Paul G. Shane, "Changing Patterns Among Homeless and Runaway Youth," American Journal
of Orthopsychiatry, 59, 1989, 208-214; epitomized in The Family in America: New Research,
July, 1989: "Teenagers who turn to state officials for shelter typically come from broken
families. In a recent study of over 500 homeless and runaway youth in New Jersey, Paul Shane
of Rutgers University discovered a clear pattern implicating 'family breakdown as a major cause
of homelessness among youth.' Professor Shane found that a remarkably low 14 percent of the
youth in his study come from 'a family with both biological parents.'"
Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique (New York: W. W. Norton, 1963), p. 288: "[I]n recent
years the "symbiosis" concept has crept with increasing frequency into the case histories of
disturbed children. More and more of the new child pathologies seem to stem from that very
symbiotic relationship with the mother, which has somehow kept children from becoming
separate selves. These disturbed children seem to be 'acting out' the mother's unconscious wishes
or conflicts--infantile dreams she had not outgrown or given up, but was still trying to gratify for
herself in the person of her child....Thus, it would seem, it is the child who supports life in the
mother in that 'symbiotic' relationship, and the child is virtually destroyed in the process."
HEALTH PROBLEMS
Ronald Angel and Jacqueline Lowe Worebey, "Single Motherhood and Children's Health,"
Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 29 [March, 1988], 38-52; epitomized in The Family in
America: New Research, July, 1988: "[S]ingle mothers report poorer health in their children than
do mothers in intact marriages. The authors cite a number of factors to account for this disparity.
Living in poverty, many children of single mothers decline in health because of simple
deprivation. Because many were low-birth-weight babies, they suffer from chronic illnesses. And
some may be developing psychosomatic illnesses owing to the general misery of their lives."
Nicholas Eberstadt, researcher at Harvard's University's Center for Population Studies and the
American Enterprise Institute, Los Angeles Times, 3 November, 1989: "An enormous--and
growing--number of American children suffer from a serious health threat inflicted on them by
their parents. Bluntly put, their health is at risk because they have been born out of wedlock.
"In some circles, it is fashionable to see illegitimacy merely as an 'alternataive life style,' as good
as any other. From the standpoint of the children in question, this view is tragically
wrongheaded. Illegitimacy, and the parental behavior that accompanies it, directly endangers the
newborn and may even cost a baby its life....
"Indeed, if it were a medical condition rather than a social disorder, illegitimacy would be seen
as one of the leading killers of children in America today."
Sara A. Mullett, et al., "A Comparison of Birth Outcomes by Payment Source," Minnesota
Medicine, 72, [June, 1988], 365-69; Wilma Bailey, "Child Morbidity in the Kingston
Metropolitan Area, Jamaica 1983," Social Science and Medicine, 26 [1988], 1117-1124; both
articles epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, October, 1988: "In a new study at
the University of Minnesota, researchers found that an infant's birth weight depends heavily on
the mother's marital status. 'Single women,' they reported, 'had smaller infants, with a mean birth
weight of 3,192 grams as compared with 3,534 grams for infants of married women.'
"Mothers in Jamaica confront much harsher economic challenges than those in Minnesota. Yet in
a recent study in Kingston, Jamaica, geographer Wilma Bailey at the University of the West
Indies found a parallel pattern of impaired health among children in female-headed households
compared to children in two-parent households. Dr. Bailey found a statistical correlation between
the percentage of female-headed households in any given area and the hospital admissions of
children in that same area. Her findings suggest 'that the children of young, unemployed and
single women may be particularly vulnerable' to ill health and malnutrition. Dr. Bailey interprets
her work in light of American studies which have 'documented the vulnerability of families of
female-headed households in the U.S.A.'"
Lorian Baker and Dennis P. Cantwell, "Factors Associated with the Development of Psychiatric
Illness in Children with Early Speech/Language Problems," Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 17 [1987], 499-507; epitomized in The Family in America: New
Research, July, 1988: "Children with speech problems, according to a growing body of evidence,
are at risk of developing psychiatric problems. Now a new study suggests that broken homes are
causing or aggravating speech-related problems. Researchers from the University of California at
Los Angeles studied 600 children who were patients at a Los Angeles speech clinic, finding half
of them to be psychiatrically ill. While the background of the ill children differed little from the
mentally healthy in most respects--gender, parental education and occupation, birth order,
language background, etc.--one distinction stood out: the 'ill' children were nearly twice as likely
to have unmarried parents."
DRUGS
Judith A. Stein, et al., "An 8-Year Study of Multiple Influences on Drug Use and Drug Use
Consequences," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53, No. 6 [December, 1987],
1094-1105; epitomized in The Family in America, March, 1988: "[N]ewer research...suggests
that the family is often the most important factor in whether or not a teenager abuses drugs. In an
eight-year study of 654 young people, psychologists at the University of California at Los
Angeles found that early parental influence--especially parental drug use--'exerted a potent and
pervasive influence on a teenager that apparently continues for many years into adulthood.' The
authors also suggest that 'inadequate family structure and a lack of positive familial relationships'
often lead to 'substance use...as a coping mechanism to relieve depression and anxiety.' The
study stresses that parental divorce can often foster teen rebelliousness, which leads to poor
selection of friends and to social perceptions conducive to drug use."
Bryce Christensen, "From Home Life to Prison Life: The Roots of American Crime," The
Family in America, April, 1989, pp. 5f.: "In two new studies on drug use conducted at the
University of California at Los Angeles, researchers have provided new evidence of the
importance of the family. In 1987, UCLA psychologists published an eight-year study of 654
young people. Their findings demonstrate that 'inadequate family structure and a lack of positive
familial relationships' often caused young people to use drugs as 'a coping mechanism to relieve
depression and anxiety.' The authors also stressed that parental divorce can foster teen
rebelliousness, leading to poor selection of friends and self- destructive attitudes. In a different
study published just last year, UCLA psychiatrists examined drug use among 443 young people,
concluding that paternal authority was decisive. In families with strict fathers, only 18 percent of
the youth studied used drugs and alcohol, compared to 27 percent where fathers were less strict
and 40 percent in homes with permissive fathers. Frequent drug use occurred in 35 percent of
mother-dominant homes. Overall, the UCLA researchers concluded that 'with regard to youthful
drug use, fathers' involvement is more important' than mothers'."
Clarence Lusane, staff aide to Rep. Walter Fauntroy, and Dennis Desmond, staff aide to D. C.
Counmcilmember Hilda Mason, The Guardian, 25 October, 1989: "Women, particularly women
of color, are disproportionately victimized by the drug epidemic. For the first time, health
officials see more women drug users than men. In New York, Washington, D.C., Kansas City
and Portland, women outnumber men in drug abuse. Girls as young as 12 trade sex for crack as
prostitutes in crack houses.
"This has led directly to the rise in boarder babies-- abandoned babies born of drug-addicted
parents. According to the Wall Street Journal, about 375,000 babies a year are born exposed to
drugs. D.C. General, Harlem Hospital and other hospitals nationally have opened prenatal clinics
for women addicts. At some Washington, D.C. hospitals, 40% of women having babies are drug
addicts. This has resulted in the highest infant mortality rate in the nation at 32 per 1000 live
births. In central Harlem, 21% of all pregnant crack users receive no prenatal care. Howard
University hospital had no boarder babies until May, 1988; this year it had 21 in one week, five
with AIDS.
"These infants' care costs $100,000 each per year. More than half of these babies develop smaller
heads and smaller abdomens. They sometimes suffer strokes in the womb. Boarder babies stay in
the hospital an average of 42 days while the normal stay is three days. At the human level, these
children will probably grow up without love or closeness."
Carmen N. Velez and Jane A. Ungemack, "Drug Use Among Puerto Rican Youth: An
Exploration of Generational Status Differences," Social Science and Medicine 29, 1989, 779-89;
epitomized in The Family in America: New Research, November, 1989: "Researchers from
Columbia University and the University of Puerto Rico recently took a hard look at the drug
problem among Puerto Rican youth in Puerto Rico and in New York City. They discovered more
drug use among Puerto Rican students living in non-intact households than among students
living in intact homes. Among students living in a nonintact household, three quarters live in
female-headed households, suggesting to the researchers that greater vulnerability to drug use
may be one 'effect of living in a female-headed family.'"
CHILD ABUSE
Los Angeles Times, 16 December, 1986: "Child molesters have a stronger relationship to their
mothers during childhood than rapists do, a study of sex offenders suggests.
"Researchers at the North Florida Evaluation and Treatment Center interviewed 64 convicted sex
offenders--21 rapists and 43 child molesters, Psychiatric News has reported.
"'Whereas the general pattern with both groups is characterized by a lack of fathering,' the study
said, 'the pattern of the child molester is characterized by a singular degree of closeness and
attachment to the mother.
"'Almost 83% of this group claimed to have had a close or very close relationship with their
mothers.'"
L. Mitchel, "Child Abuse and Neglect Fatalities: A Review of the Problem and Strategies for
Reform," Working Paper 838. Monograph of the National Center on Child Abuse Prevention
Research, National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse, Chicago, Illinois, 1987, p. 6;
quoted in R. L. McNeely and Gloria Robinson-Simpson, "The Truth About Domestic Violence
Revisited: A Reply to Saunders," Social Work, March/April, 1988, p. 186: "Active victims are
typically males, under two years of age, living in low socioeconomic status families with
multiple young siblings, and who die at the hands of a single mother."
Richard J. Gelles and Murray Straus, Intimate Violence: The Causes and Consequences of Abuse
in the American Family (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1988), p. 112: "One skeptical reader of
our study, Frederick Green, noted that he was seeing more child abuse now than ten years ago.
Since he also reported that he sees a largely minority, single-parent, and poor population, this is
not surprising."
Henry B. Biller and Richard S. Solomon, Child Maltreatment and Paternal Deprivation: A
Manifesto for Research, Prevention and Treatment (Lexington, Mass.: D. C. Heath, 1986), pp.
21f.: "Upwards of 25 percent of children in our society do not have a father living at home.
Children in such families are overrepresented in terms of reported cases of physical abuse and
other forms of child maltreatment."
Persuasion at Work, August, l985: "The constant media focus on abusive parents from intact,
suburban families belies the fact that a greatly disproportionate number of the serious physical
abuse cases are found in the otherwise celebrated 'female-headed families,' commonly involving
the illegitimate father or mother's current boy friend."
Los Angeles Times, l6 September, l985: "Most [victims of child molestation] were from single
parent families or were the children of [pedophile] ring members."
Additional Note
There has arisen a murmuring and a discontent among academic feminists who sense a threat to
the feminist/sexual revolution in the public's awareness of the social pathology of female-headed
families, a pathology whose existence they would like to deny. According to Terry Arendell,
The long-held view that the absence of a father adversely affects children has increasingly been
challenged. For example, a study of nearly nine hundred school-aged children found that single-
parent families were just as effective in rearing children as traditional two-parent families. After
controlling for socioeconomic variables and matching groups of children in father-present and
father-absent families, they found no significant differences between the two groups [Feldman,
H. 1979. "Why We Need a Family Policy." Journal of Marriage and the Family 41 (3): 453-455].
Another scholar argues: "Studies that adequately control for economic status challenge the
popular homily that divorce is disastrous for children. Differences between children from one-
and two- parent homes of comparable status on school achievement, social adjustment, and
delinquent behavior are small or even nonexistent" [Bane, M. 1976. Here to Stay: American
Families in the Twentieth Century, p. 111].
This is like saying that pygmies are no shorter than other people with whom they have been
matched for height. "After controlling for socioeconomic variables" means after leaving out most
of the evidence. Arendell wants to limit her comparison to female-headed homes where divorce
or illegitimacy does not produce economic deterioration and lowered standards of living. But the
whole thrust of her book and of Lenore Weitzman's Divorce Revolution and of half a library of
other feminist literature is that divorce, father-absence and illegitimacy do lower the standard of
living of ex-wives and "their" children; so Arendell is saying that there is no deterioration in
school achievement, social adjustment, etc.--except in almost every case.
Arendell's framing of her assertion contains the suggestio falsi that the problem of single women
is wholly economic and that therefore it can be solved by further amercing the ex-husband or ex-
boyfriend who, for the purpose of making him justifiably amerceable, must be misrepresented
(by the gerrymandering of evidence discussed in Chapter VIII) as enriched by divorce or non-
marriage.
What she is here acknowledging is that money, a good thing, commonly keeps company with
other good things--high status, high educational achievement, social stability and so forth. She
explains what happens when these good things are expelled along with Dad:
The children could not help being adversely affected by the reduced standard of living and new
economic stresses that confronted their mothers. They were affected most directly by the conflict
between their own needs and the demands of their mothers' new jobs. Being put into child care,
being without supervision before and after school, having to remain home alone when ill, or
having to deal with mothers who felt chronically fatigued and overburdened were all major
adjustments for many of them.
The children suffer both paternal and maternal deprivation-- paternal deprivation inflicted by
Mom's throwing Dad out of the house, maternal deprivation by Mom's absenting herself as a
wage earner because she no longer has Dad as a provider.
ample documentation of the association between socioeconomic status and various aspects of
children's cognitive and social functioning. Many researchers have argued that the impact of
father-absence and divorce on children's development is, for the most part, an artifact of lowered
socioeconomic status. Some research, however, suggests that, in fact, single-parent status may
actually be a more powerful predictor of the academic and social functioning of young children
at school entry than is socioeconomic status or any other family background, developmental
history, or health variable. Guidubaldi and Perry [Guidubaldi, J., and Perry, J. D. 1984. "Divorce,
Socioeconomic Status, and Children's Cognitive- Social Competence at School Entry," American
Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 54, 459-468] reported striking evidence that single-parent status
accounts for much statistically independent variance, and is highly predictive of performance on
various indexes of academic and social competence, even when socioeconomic status is
controlled through regression analyses. Although family structure in itself was not associated
with intellectual ability measures, children from single-parent homes were found to be much
more at risk for poor academic performance and sociobehavioral difficulties upon entering
school than were children from two-parent families [Guidubaldi, J.. 1983. "The Impact of
Divorce on Children: Report of the Nationwide NASP Study," School Psychology Review, 12,
300-323; Guidubaldi and Perry, 1984].
It is often implied or stated that the causal element in the reported association of father's absence
and juvenile delinquency is lack of paternal supervision and control. Studies that inquire into
family factors confirm the importance of supervision, but not the indispensability of the father to
that element of child-rearing.
No one would assert the father's presence is indispensable to the proper socializing of children.
Many single mothers do an excellent job of child-rearing on their own or with the assistance of a
father-surrogate. So do many orphan asylums. What the evidence cited in the Annex shows is
that there exists an ominous correlation between father-absence and delinquency. Herzog and
Sudia maintain merely that the correlation is less than one hundred percent--which is
unquestionable, but irrelevant.
The questions here are merely whether the father is the only available source of masculine
identity and whether absence of a father from the home necessarily impairs a boy's masculine
identity. The studies reviewed do not, in our view, provide solid support for such a thesis.
No one would suppose the father was the "only" source or that his absence "necessarily"
impaired the boy's masculine identity. No one would suppose, in other words, that there existed a
hundred percent correlation between father-absence and impaired masculinity in sons. But
having thus triumphantly disproved what was never asserted, Herzog and Sudia affect to believe
that they have disproved what is asserted, that there exists a significant correlation between
father absence and impaired masculinity in sons.
They continue:
Family-oriented studies usually include father's absence as part of the family configuration rather
than as a sole and separate factor. Some of them find father's absence significantly related to
juvenile delinquency and some do not. A recurrent finding, however, is that other factors are
more important, especially competent supervision of the child and general family climate or
harmony.
The correlations established in the Annex show that the father's presence is often not merely
"another factor," but the most relevant factor, that the absence of the father often means the
absence of more competent supervision and its replacement by less competent supervision.
Herzog and Sudia's argument is comparable to saying that the absence of the father's paycheck is
not as important as "other factors" such as adequate income. It is the father's paycheck which
commonly provides the adequate income children need; and it is the father' socialization which
commonly provides the competent supervision children need.
difficult to know whether reported differences related more strongly to family factors (including
fatherlessness) or to SES [socioeconomic status]--the more so since family factors and SES are
intricately intertwined.
They had better be. The intertwining of family factors and SES is an essential part of the
patriarchal system, which motivates males to create wealth, in exchange for which it guarantees
them a secure family role. It is for this reason that families must be headed by fathers and why
fathers must not permit their paychecks to be taken from them for the purpose of subsidizing ex-
wives and fatherless families.
According to the feminist sociologists Patricia Van Voorhis, Francis T. Cullen, Richard A.
Mathers and Connie Chenoweth Garner, "Marital status (single versus two-parent home) and
marital conflict were weak predictors of delinquency." No one would suppose otherwise. The
correlation between broken home and delinquency is nowhere near high enough to predict that a
particular child from such a home will become delinquent--any more than the Highway Patrol
can predict which drunk will have an accident. What can be predicted is that children from
broken homes will be overrepresented in the class of delinquents and that people who drink will
be overrepresented among those who have accidents. Assertions that evidence concerning the
problems of fatherlessness "are a dubious predictor...most of these studies...typically show
overprediction of problems" are irrelevant.
Herzog and Sudia's insistence that father-absence is not of primary importance because "other
factors are more important, especially competent supervision of the child and general family
climate or harmony" is inconsistent with another point they make when they are grinding a
different axe and wish their readers to believe in the inability of single mothers to provide what
they previously insisted they could provide. The mothers cannot provide the "competent
supervision...and general family climate or harmony" because of their "sense of incompleteness
and frustration, of failure and guilt, feelings of ambivalence between them and their children,
loneliness, loss of self-esteem, hostility toward men, problems with ex-husbands, problems of
income and how to find the right job, anxiety about children and their problems, and a tendency
to overcompensate for the loss to their children....This anxious picture seems related to the
findings of M. Rosenberg...and J. Landis...that children of divorce show less self
esteem....Among low-income mothers, Rainwater...found a majority of female respondents
saying that a separated woman will miss most companionship or love or sex, or simply that she
will be lonesome. Descriptions of AFDC mothers repeatedly stress their loneliness and anxiety,
which breed and are bred by apathy, depression, and lethargy."
Is it any wonder that women family heads such as these generate a disproportionate amount of
social pathology?
When the single mothers do properly socialize children along patriarchal lines, they fall foul of
other feminists like Phyllis Chesler, who rails at them for perpetuating patriarchy and "sexism":
Aren't patriarchal mothers still complicity [sic] in the reproduction of sexism? Don't they, in
Sarah Ruddick's words, carry out "The Father's Will"--even or especially in His absence? Aren't
patriarchal mothers, in Mary Daly's words, their own daughters' "token-torturers?"
are more likely to expect and ultimately perceive poor behavior from the children of divorced
parents.
"Since agencies of juvenile justice routinely include the stability of the home as a criterion for
legal intervention," says feminist Margaret Farnsworth,
such evidence may reflect a self-fulfilling prophecy.....That is, decision-making policy based on
the assumption that broken homes lead to delinquency could, in itself, account for the higher
official rate of delinquency observed among juveniles from broken homes.
Why do social workers, teachers and juvenile authorities--the people who interact day in and day
out with disturbed kids--why do they expect those without fathers to be more frequently messed-
up? These people are far more qualified as experts than academic feminists sitting in offices and
writing tendentious articles enveloped in impenetrable jargon and statistical mystifications. "My
observation," writes Mrs. Betty Arras (quoted in the Annex above), shared by virtually all my
colleagues in that school [in the Oakland ghetto] was that broken homes hurt children in every
way--emotionally, academically, and socially.
References
Ramsey Clark, Crime in America: Observations on Its Nature, Causes, Prevention and Control
(New York: Pocket Books, 1970) p.
Clark, p. 39.
P. 5; emphasis in original.
"Human Fatherhood Is a Social Invention" is the title of Chapter IX of Mead's Male and Female:
A Study of the Sexes in a Changing World (New York: William Morrow and Company, 1949).
Conversation with Kathleen McAuliffe in U. S. News and World Report, 8 August, 1988.
Ibid.
Documentation for the assertions made in this chapter is given in Annex to Chapter I.
Cited in Marilyn French, Beyond Power: On Women, Men and Morals (New York: Summit
Books, 1985), p. 28.
Cited in August Bebel, Women And Socialism (New York: Socialist Literature, 1910), p. 25.
Kinship and Marriage in Early Arabia (London: A. and C. Black, 1903), p. 213.
Primitive Marriage (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1970; originally published, 1865), pp.
66, 92.
Robert Briffault, The Mothers (New York: Macmillan, 1927) II, 491f.
Robert Briffault, The Mothers, abridged ed. (New York: Macmillan, 1931), pp. 22f.
Arthus Evans, Witchcraft and the Gay Counterculture (San Francisco: Fag Rag Press, 1978) p.
16. He cites Briffault, The Mothers, I, 311.
The Coming Matriarchy: How Women Will Gain the Balance of Power (New York: Seaview
Books, 1981), p. 217.
The Coming Matriarchy, pp. 42ff. Cf. George Gilder, Sexual Suicide (New York: Quadrangle/
The New York Times Book Company, 1973), p. 67: "Women with high incomes and/or graduate
degrees have the highest divorce rate--a rate far higher than successful men" [Citing Carter and
Glick, Marriage and Divorce (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1970), pp. 313-20.];
Gilder, Men and Marriage (Gretna, LA: Pelican Publishing Company, 1986), pp. 205f. quotes
Isabel V. Sawhill, "Economic Perspectives on the Family," Daedalus, Spring l977, p. ll9: "One of
the most dramatic and consistent findings has been the greater prevalence of marriage and the
lower probability of divorce where women's wages or labor- market participation are relatively
low." Vassar economist Shirley Johnson computes that each additional $1,000 of a woman's
earnings increases her likelihood of divorce by two percent. (Quoted by Caroline Bird, The Two-
Paycheck Marriage (New York: Rawson, Wade, 1979), p. 13.) Summing up the evidence, Bird
concludes: "The more money a woman earns, the less likely she is to be married. The
relationship cannot be denied...."
For further documentation of the fact that most divorce actions are initiated by women see
Chapter VII, note 00.
"The Hopi and the Lineage Principle," in Social Structure, pp. 131-32; cited in Evelyn Reed,
Women's Evolution (New York: Pathfinder Press, 1975), pp. 320f.
"Some types of Family Structure Amongst the Central Bantu," in African Systems of Kinship
and Marriage, pp. 246-48; cited in Reed, loc. cit.
"The 51 percent Minority Group," in Robin Morgan (ed.) Sisterhood Is Powerful (New York:
Vintage Books, 1970), p. 39
Marilyn French, Beyond Power (New York: Summit Books, 1985), pp. 38, 39, 63.
Barbara Love and Elizabeth Shanklin, "The Answer is Matriarchy," in Giny Vida (ed.), Our
Right to Love (Englewood Cliffs, N. J., 1978), p. 184.
Persuasion at Work, August, 1985. See the quotation in the Annex to Chapter I, p. 000.
Los Angeles Times, 30 June, 1982. See the quote in Annex to Chapter I, p. 000.
The Great Cosmic Mother (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1987), pp. 200, 384.
Black Sisters, cited in Betty and Theodore Roszak, Masculine/Feminine: Readings in Sexual
Mythology and the Liberation of Women (New York: Harper and Row, 1969), p. 212.
The Creation of Patriarchy (New York: Oxford University Press, 1986), p. 171.
Lerner, p. 109. Webster's International, 2d ed. defines beena marriage as "a form of marriage in
which the husband enters the wife's kinship group and has little authority in the household."
Lerner, p. 116.
Ibid.
Men and Marriage (Gretna, LA: Pelican Publishing Company, 1986), pp. 45, 47.
"The Development Antecedents and Adult Adaptations of Rapist Subtypes," Criminal Justice
and Behavior, December, 1987, pp. 403- 426. See Annex to Chapter I, p. 000.
See note 7.
Phyllis Chesler, Mothers on Trial (New York: McGraw-Hill Book Company, 1986), p. 251.
Ibid., 251-3.
"Daughters in one-parent homes are much more likely to engage in premarital sex than are
daughters in two-parent homes." (Susan Newcomer and J. Richard Udry, "Parental Marital
Status Effects on Adolescent Sexual Behavior," Journal of Marriage and the Family, 49, No. 2
(May, l987), pp. 235-40; cited in The Family in America: New Research, August, 1987.) See the
fuller quote in Annex to Chapter I, p. 000.
"Daughters from female-headed households are much more likely than daughters from two-
parent families to themselves become single parents and to rely on welfare for support as adults."
(Sara S. McLanahan, "Family Structure and Dependency: Early Transitions to Female
Household Headship," Demography 25 [Feb., 1988], l-l6; epitomized in The Family in America:
New Research, May, l988.) See the fuller quote in Annex to Chapter I, p. 000.
Introduction to the 10th anniversary edition of The Feminine Mystique (New York: W. W.
Norton, 1973), p. 4.
Elise Boulding, The Underside of History (Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press, 1976), pp. 790ff.
Supra, p. 5.
Betty Friedan, "Not for Women Only," Modern Maturity, April- May, 1989, p. 70.
Susan Cavin, An Hystorical and Cross-Cultural Analysis of Sex Ratios, Female Sexuality, and
Homo-Sexual Segregation Versus Hetero-Sexual Integration Patterns in Relation to the
Liberation of Women, Ph.D. dissertation, Rutgers, 1979, p. 4.
(Feminists affect spellings such as hystorical, wimin, and herstory in order to avoid the hated
masculine forms his and man. There exists a lesbian organization called "Wimmin for Womyn.")
The Creation of Patriarchy (New York: Oxford University Press, 1986), p. 114. This is further
discussed below, Chapter X, p. 000.
Ibid., p. 113.
Gilder, Men and Marriage (Gretna, LA: Pelican Publishing Company), p. 169.
Ibid., p. 8.
P. 140.
P. 141.
P. 141. The word "commodified," common in feminist literature, is not defined in any dictionary
I have consulted.
P. 140.
Beyond God the Father: Toward a Philosophy of Women's Liberation (Boston: Beacon Press,
1973), p. 59.
P. 2; emphasis added.
Pp. 2-3.
Is The Future Female? Troubled Thoughts on Contemporary Feminism (New York: Peter
Bedrick Books, 1988), p. 106. For confirmation of what Ms. Segal says, see Chapter II, note 10.
See the quotation from Beverly Beyette, Los Angeles Times, 10 April, 1986 in Annex To
Chapter I, p. 000: "They are rather casual about pregnancy--no, they would not choose not to be
pregnant. And, no, they do not expect, nor do they want, to marry their babies' fathers. Camilla, a
sophomore, said, 'I tell him it isn't his baby so he won't call.'" What could Camilla's boyfriend do
if he wanted to behave "responsibly"?
Ibid.
Ibid.
The Feminine Mystique, p. 339. Cf. p. 289: "These mothers have themselves become more
infantile, and because they are forced to seek more and more gratification through the child, they
are incapable of finally separating themselves from the child. Thus, it would seem, it is the child
who supports life in the mother in that 'symbiotic' relationship, and the child is virtually
destroyed in the process." It is these destroyed children who have become today's Garbage
Generation. Their problem is not so much the mother's infantilism as her power to deprive the
children of fathers. Ms. Friedan can think only of Mom, what Mom wants or should want if she
is to achieve the "growth" of which she writes so interminably. She says:
By permitting girls to evade tests of reality, and real commitments, in school and the world [by
"real" Ms. Friedan means male-style achievement, not mere maternity], by the promise of
magical fulfillment through marriage [today read: marriage or promiscuity], the feminine
mystique arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity, with an
inevitably weak core of self. [p. 290]
Ibid.
The Retreat from Motherhood (New Rochelle, N.Y.: Arlington House, 1975), p. 95.
P. 96.
Kinship and Marriage in Early Arabia (London: A. and C. Black, 1903), p. 37; emphasis added.
Freiherr F. von Reitzenstein, Love and Marriage in Ancient Europe, p. 28; quoted in Otto Kiefer,
Sexual Life in Ancient Rome (London: Abbey Library, 1934), p.8.
Charlotte Bunch, Passionate Politics (New York: St. Martin's Press, 1987), p. 208.
P. 209.
Henry Biller and Richard Solomon, Child Maltreatment and Paternal Deprivation: A Manifesto
for Research, Prevention, and Treatment (Lexington, MA: D. C. Heath, 1986), pp. 21f.:
"Upwards of 25 percent of children in our society do not have a father living at home. Children
in such families are overrepresented in terms of reported cases of physical abuse and other forms
of child maltreatment."
According to The Family in America: New Research, December, 1989, citing a Milwaukee
County inter-office memo, "of all 1,050 ongoing substantiated child abuse and neglect cases in
Milwaukee County in May 1989, 83 percent involved households receiving Aid to Families with
Dependent Children (AFDC) [read: female-headed households]. See Annex To Chapter I, p. 000.
Feminists would like to say (as Wes Hall does) there is fault in male unchastity--but that would
give the whole argument away, wouldn't it?
Cited in Dale Spender, Women of Ideas and What Men Have Done to Them from Aphra Behn to
Adrienne Rich (London: ARK Paperbacks, 1982), p. 193.
When God Was a Woman (New York: Dial Press, 1976), p. 161.
W. Roberston Smith, The Old Testament in the Jewish Church: A Course of Lectures on Biblical
Criticism, 2d ed. (London: Adam and Charles Black, 1892), p. 350.
Hendrik de Leeuw, Woman: The Dominant Sex (New York: Thomas Yoseloff, 1957), p. 110.
"The Answer is Matriarchy," in G. Vida, Our Right to Love: A Lesbian Resource Book
(Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, 1978), p. 185.
George Gilder, Visible Man: A True Story of Post-racist America (New York: Basic Books,
1978), p. 24.
Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution (New York: W. W. Norton, 1976),
p. 60.
Masculine and Feminine: Sex Roles Over the Life Cycle (Menlo Park, CA: Addison-Wesley
Publishing Company, 1983), p. 355.
Quoted in John Baker's Race (Athens, Georgia: Foundations for Human Understanding, 1974),
p. 399.
The Ordeal of Change (New York: Harper and Row, 1963), p. 23.
Ibid., p. 23.
Sexual Suicide (New York: Quadrangle/The New York Times Book Co., 1973), p. 89.
Loc. cit.
Men and Marriage (Gretna, LA: Pelican Publishing Co., 1986), p. 64.
Marie Richmond-Abbott, Masculine and Feminine: Sex Roles over the Life Cycle (Reading,
MA: Addison-Wesley, 1983), p. 168.
Male and Female (New York: William Morrow and Company, 1949), p. 195.
The Second Stage (New York: Summit Books, 1981) p. 155.
Betty Friedan, It Changed My Life: Writings on the Women's Movement (New York: Random
House, 1976), p. 328.
George Gilder, Men and Marriage (Gretna, LA: Pelican Publishing Co., 1986), p. 62: "One
striking result of the bachelor pattern is low income. With the same age and qualifications, single
men have long earned about the same as single women. As early as 1966, a Labor Department
study found both earned about the same hourly wages. Single college graduates over age twenty-
five earned about the same amount in 1969, whether male or female. Single men currently have
median incomes less than l0 percent higher than those of single women, who are alleged to be
hobbled by discrimination, even though single men work longer hours and in general tend to use
their earnings capacity more. Yet they are 30 percent more likely to be unemployed. "Married
men, however, earn some 70 percent more than singles of either sex."
Betty Friedan, The Second Stage (New York: Summit Books, 1981), pp. 157f.
Cavin, An Hystorical and Cross-Cultural Analysis of Sex Ratios, Female Sexuality, and Homo-
Sexual Segregation Versus Hetero-Sexual Integration. Ph.D dissertation, Rutgers, 1978, p.
Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique (New York: W. W. Norton, 1963), p. 213.
P. 66.
P. 127.
P. 304.
P. 252.
P. 338.
P. 344.
P. 240.
P. 248.
P. 249.
Lenore Weitzman, The Divorce Revolution: The Unexpected Social and Economic
Consequences for Women and Children in America (New York: The Free Press, 1985), p. 390.
"Economic entrapment" signifies that marriage benefits women economically and therefore
entitles them to other one-sided benefits.
It Changed My Life: Writings on the Women's Movement (New York: Random House, 1976), p.
326.
Ruth Sidel, Women and Children Last: The Plight of Poor Women in Affluent America (New
York: Viking, 1986), p. 45.
Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the
Earth (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1987), p. 192.
The bit about the nine million burnt witches has been passed on from one feminist writer to
another until it has become part of the accepted folklore of feminism. Disbelieving it is one more
proof (is more proof needed?) of male heartlessness.
Barbara Bergmann, The Economic Emergence of Women (New York: Basic Books, 1986), p.
209.
Riane Eisler, The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future (San Francisco: Harper and
Row, 1987), p. 94.
Charlotte Bunch, Passionate Politics: Feminist Theory in Action (New York: St. Martin's Press,
1987), p. 206.
Joanne Cooke, Charlotte Bunch-Weeks and Robin Morgan, eds., The New Woman: A Motive
Anthology on Women's Liberation (Greenwich, Conn.: Fawcett Publications, 1970), p. 68.
Sonia Johnson, Going Out of Our Minds: The Metaphysics of Liberation (Freedom, California:
The Crossing Press, 1987), p. 286.
Review of Simone de Beauvoir's The Second Sex in Saturday Review, 21 February, 1953.
Richard J. Gelles and Murray A. Straus, Intimate Violence: The Causes and Consequences of
Abuse in the American Family (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1988), p. 121.
P. 121.
P. 122.
P. 113.
The Family in America: New Research, December, 1989; see Annex to Chapter I, page 000.
Things are worse than the 83 percent figure indicates, since among the remaining 17 percent of
abuse cases there must be female- headed households not on AFDC.
Quoted in Carolyn Heilbrun, Writing a Woman's Life (New York: Ballantine Books, 1988), pp.
84f.
Ibid.
Susan Crain Bakos, This Wasn't Supposed to Happen: Single Women Over 30 Talk Frankly
About Their Lives (New York: Continuum, 1985), p.20.
P. 22.
P. 23.
P. 173.
This is acknowledged even by investigators as timid as Gelles and Straus, who write that "About
one woman in twenty-two (3.8 percent) is the victim of physically abusive violence each year"
and that "A little more than forty husbands in one thousand (4.6 percent) were recorded as
victims of severe violence" (Richard J.l Gelles and Murray A. Straus, Intimate Violence: The
Causes and Consequences of Abuse in the American Family (New York: Simon and Schuster,
1988), p. 104).
This says that there is 21 percent more violence directed against husbands. But what is compared
is evidently lesser violence against wives ("physically abusive violence") and greater violence
against husbands ("severe violence"); so one must suppose that if the same kind of violence were
being compared the wives are more violent than the 21 percent figure suggests. (If this inference
is incorrect, Gelles and Straus cannot blame anyone other than themselves.)
The "tendency" of these writers can be inferred from their calling 4.6 percent "a little more than
forty in one thousand." "A little less than fifty in one thousand" would be closer to the
mathematical truth--but it would deviate from the party line mandated by Slaughtered Saints
feminism.
It needs to be understood that books on the subject of domestic violence are read chiefly by
feminists and must pass review in the feminist press. A book which departs from the feminist
party line will be dead in the water. Gelles and Straus mention their colleague Suzanne
Steinmetz's article on "The Battered Husband Syndrome" and indicate that "she was immediately
attacked by feminists, social scientists, and a few journalists....Other social scientists who
witnessed the abuse heaped on our research group--especially on Suzanne Steinmetz--have given
the topic of battered men a wide berth" (pp. 105f.). In other words, feminist clamor frightened
them away from saying things that feminists don't want the public to know about, lest women
should appear to be something other than blood-drained Slaughtered Saints and men to be
something other than ravening beasts.
Lynne Segal, Is the Future Female? Troubled Thoughts on Contemporary Feminism (New York:
Peter Bedrick Books, 1987), p. 3.
Robert Briffault, The Mothers (New York: Macmillan and Company, 1927), I, 327.
The quoted words are from Abraham Maslow's Motivation and Personality, p. 83.
Men don't qualify for the free ride since they don't suffer from the problem that has no name.
Cf. The Feminine Mystique, p. 215: "Anyone with a strong enough back (and a small enough
brain) can do these chores."
P. 370; emphasis added. We need more lady lawyers, lady doctors, lady psychologists, lady
philosophers, lady academics and lady executives like we need a trephine. What we do need is
more day-care workers, more clerk-typists, more waitresses, more nurses, more street-crossing
guards and more cleaning women, and it is in such occupations that most liberated women find
themselves after they cast off patriarchal oppression and what Mrs. Pankhurst called "the great
scourge" of marriage.
P. 370.
The Future of Marriage (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1982), p. 288.
Barbara Bergmann, The Economic Emergence of Women (New York: Basic Books, 1986), p. 5.
Gillian E. Hanscombe and Jackie Forster, Rocking the Cradle: Lesbian Mothers: A challenge in
Family Living (Boston: Alyson Publications, 1982), p.46; emphasis added.
Irwin Garfinkel and Sara S. McLanahan, Single Mothers and Their Children: A New American
Dilemma (Washington, D. C., Urban Institute Press, 1986), p. 26.
Barbara Ehrenreich, The Hearts of Men: American Dreams and the Flight from Commitment
(Garden City, N. Y., 1984), p. 175.
Ruth Sidel, Women and Children Last: The Plight of Poor Women in Affluent America (New
York: Viking, 1986), p. 190.
Quoted in Elise Boulding, The Underside of History: A View of Women Through Time
(Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press, 1976), p.
Principles of Sociology, III:, part 8; reprinted in Herbert Spencer on Social Evolution (Chicago:
University of Chicago Press, 1972), ed. J. D. Y. Peel, p. 245.
Marilyn French, Beyond Power: On Women, Men and Morals (New York: Summit Books,
1985), p. 22.
Ibid.
Phyllis Chesler, Mothers on Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody (New York: McGraw-
Hill Book Company, 1986), pp. 365,
Betty Friedan, The Second Stage (New York: Summit Books, 1981), pp. 86f.: "Joan of Arc said,
facing the flames, 'All that I am I will not deny.'...I have known for a long time that what drove
me to tangle with the tortuous questions, to take on the uneasy, almost inconceivable mission of
the women's movement, and what drives me now, at the zenith of that movement and in the face
of its remarkable accomplishments, to wrestle anew with its assumed direction, is the simple
driving need to feel good about being a woman, about myself as a woman, to be able to affirm
who I really am--All that I am I will not deny. Not only in my secret heart of hearts, but in the
reality of evolving life, in the world."
Passionate Politics: Feminist Theory in Action (New York: St. Martin's Press, 1987), p. 115.
Miriam Gurko, The Ladies of Seneca Falls: The Birth of the Women's Rights Movement (New
York: Schocken Books, 1976), p. 61: "Elizabeth [Cady Stanton, nineteenth century feminist]
heard about women caught in miserable unhappy marriages who had managed to arrange
separations or even divorce, but were not permitted to see their own children or have anything to
say about their upbringing. Under the state laws, a father had exclusive rights of guardianship, no
matter what kind of man he was or what the cause of separation had been."
Alice Rossi, "Transition to Parenthood," in Peter Rose, ed., Socialization and the Life Cycle
(New York: St. Martin, 1979), p. Cited in Samuel Blumenfeld, The Retreat from Motherhood
(New Rochelle: Arlington House, 1975), p. 112.
It Changed My Life: Writings on the Women's Movement (New York: Random House, 1976), p.
326.
Kathleen Newland, Women, Men and the Division of Labor, p. 153; cited in Hilda Scott,
Working Your Way to the Bottom: The Feminization of Poverty (Boston: Pandora Press, 1984),
p. 22.
David Chambers, Making Fathers Pay (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1979), p. 42.
SIGNS, Winter, 1984, p. 206.
Henry Biller, Paternal Deprivation: Family, School, Sexuality and Society (Lexington, MA: D.
C. Heath, 1974), p. 109; Henry Biller, Father, Child and Sex Role: Paternal Determinants of
Personality Development (Lexington, MA: D. C. Heath, 1971), p. lll.
For fuller documentation, see Annex to Chapter I, pp. 000ff. According to Fr. Juan B. Cortes, of
Georgetown University, cited in Catholic University Bulletin, 23 February, 1973.
For fuller documentation, see Annex to Chapter I, pp. 000ff. Starke Hathaway and Elio
Monachesi, Adolescent Personality and Development (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota
Press, 1963), p. 81.
Cited in Ciji Ware, Sharing Custody Following Divorce: An Enlightened Custody Guide for
Mothers, Fathers and Kids (New York: Viking, 1982), p. 80.
"The Effects of Father Absence on Child Development," in Young Children, March, 1971, p.
239.
"The Single Parent Family and the Child's Mental Health," Social Science Medicine 27 [1988],
181-6; cited in The Family in America: New Research, October, 1988.
Estimates differ considerably. U.S. News and World Report, 4 November, 1988 estimated that
one million people would be behind bars by 1989. According to the Los Angeles Times of 1
October, 1989, "more than one million citizens are behind prison and jail bars" and another 2.6
million are on probation or parole. The Times article here quoted evidently excludes the jail
population.
Two examples: (1) People born around 1950 have a 2,000 percent greater likelihood of
experiencing depression by age thirty than people born before 1910 (Los Angeles Times, 9
October, 1988). (2) The suicide rate of white males age l5-24 rose almost 50 percent between
1970 and 1983 (U. S. Bureau of the Census, Statistical Abstract of the United States, 1987, 107th
ed., p. 79; cited in The Family in America, October, l988.)
The desirability of giving fathers rather than mothers custody of the children of divorce is
discussed in Chapter X.
As indicated in Chapter II, note 10, page 00, most divorce actions are initiated by wives.
J. S. Mill, The Subjection of Women (Cambridge, MA: M. I. T. Press, 1970; original publication,
1869), p. 22.
Louis Roussel, "Demographie: Deux Decennes de Mutations," paper presented at the Fifth
World Conference of the International Society on Family Law, July 8-14, 1985, Brussels,
Belgium; cited in Mary Ann Glendon, The Transformation of Family Law, p. 144.
Mary Ann Glendon, The Transformation of Family Law: State, Law, and Family in the United
States and Western Europe (Chicago:
The 73 percent figure is Dr. Lenore Weitzman's estimate, discussed in Chapter VIII.
Glendon, p. 215.
Glendon, p. 220.
George Gilder, Men and Marriage, p. 66. See the fuller quote in Chapter VII, Part iv.
George Gilder, Men and Marriage (Gretna, LA: Pelican Publishing Company, 1986), p. 5.
Peggy Morgan, cited in off our backs, May, 1988.
John Dollard, Caste and Class in a Southern Town, 3d ed. (Garden City, N. Y.: Doubleday,
1957), p. 138.
Gerda Lerner, The Creation of Patriarchy (New York: Oxford University Press, 1986), p. 9.
Robert Briffault, The Mothers (New York: Macmillan, 1927), III, 507.
Gilder, p. 31.
P. 5.
J. G. E. Heckewelder, History, Manners and Customs of the Indian Nations, p. 154; cited in
Briffault, I, 437.
Cited in Shirley Radl, Mother's Day Is Over (New York: Charterhouse, 1973), p. xiv.
Cited in Havelock Ellis, Views and Reviews, 2d series (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1932), p. 6.
Briffault, I, 433f.
Briffault, II, 2.
Gilder, p. 12.
Gilder, p. 76.
P. 76.
Beyond Power: On Women, Men and Morals (New York: Summit Books, 1985), p. 387.
Adrienne Rich, Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution, tenth anniversary
ed. (New York: W. W. Norton, 1986), foreword, p. xxi; emphasis added.
Marie Richmond-Abbott, Masculine and Feminine: Sex Roles Over the Life Cycle (Reading,
MA: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, 1983), p. 262.
Betty Friedan, The Second Stage (New York: Summit Books, 1981), p. 122.
Herb Goldberg, The New Male-Female Relationship (New York: William Morrow and
Company, 1983), p. 173.
Richmond-Abbott, p. 406.
P. 407.
"Women have outgrown the housewife role...a task for which society hires the lowliest, least-
trained, most trod-upon individuals and groups." (Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique,
pp.308, 215)
Chopin is careful to make her heroine economically independent by giving her an inheritance
from a female relative.
Kate Chopin, The Awakening (New York: Bantam, 1981), pp. 142f.
P. 152.
Evelyn Reed, Woman's Evolution: From Matriarchal Clan to Patriarchal Family (New York:
Pathfinder Press, 1975), p. 264.
Ibid.
Evelyn Reed, Problems of Women's Liberation: A Marxist Approach (New York: Pathfinder
Press, 1971), p. 24.
Ibid., p. 26.
Sexual Suicide (New York: Quadrangle/The New York Times Book Co., 1973), pp. 117f.
The Economic Emergence of Women (New York: Basic Books, 1986), p. 309.
Again and again Ms. Friedan tells her readers to hire a cleaning woman so they can go to law
school, medical school or graduate school. One is reminded of the feminist John Stuart Mill's
complaint that women should be expected to do "the work of servants," or of the feminist
Elizabeth Cady Stanton's complaint that women had to spend so much of their time conversing
"with children and servants." It doesn't occur to these elitists that few women have servants.
P. 7.
P. 45.
Gilder, "Family and Nation: Moynihan's Welfare Turnaround," in Catholicism and Crisis, June,
1986; reprinted in Human Events, 26 July, 1986.
Lenore Weitzman, The Divorce Revolution: The Unexpected Social and Economic
Consequences for Women and Children in America (New York: The Free Press, 1985), p. 460:
"These researchers [Robert Schoen, Harry N. Greenblatt, and Robert B. Mielke] report that 78
percent of all divorce petitions in California were filed by wives...." P. 147 [quoting attorney
Riane Eisler]: "By social convention, the vast majority of divorces were filed by women." P.
174: "In California, in 1968, under the adversary system, over three-quarters of the plaintiffs--
those who initiated the legal divorce proceedings--were wives filing charges against 'guilty'
husbands." According to David Chambers, Making Fathers Pay (Chicago: University of Chicago
Press, 1979), p. 29, "the wife is the moving party in divorce actions seven times out of eight."
According to the Legal Beagle, February, 1986, 72 percent of divorce filings are made by wives.
According to Yuanxi Ma, Chinese feminist, about 60 percent of China's divorces are initiated by
women (off our backs, April, 1988). According to Joan Kelly, author of Surviving the Breakup,
"Divorce is sought about three to one by women" (cited in Joint Custody Newsletter, January,
1988). According to Christopher Lasch, NYRB, l7 February, 1966, three- quarters of divorces
are granted to women. According to Elsie Clews Parsons's The Family: An Ethnographical and
Historical Outline (New York: G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1906), p. 331, "A large majority of divorces
are obtained by women." According to a three- day survey by the County Clerk's Office in
Orange County, California, two of every three divorce petitions listed the wife as the plaintiff
(Fathers' Forum, August, 1987). According to court records in Marion, Howard, Hancock, Grant
and Ruch counties in Indiana in 1985, of 2,033 dissolutions granted, l,599 (76.6%) were filed by
wives, 474 (23.3%) were filed by husbands (National Congress for Men Network, Vol. 1, #3).
Where women enjoy greater independence, divorce rates are higher. Marilyn French says
(Beyond Power: On Women, Men and Morals (New York: Summit Books, 1985), p. 59: "As in
all matrilineal cultures, marriages were easily dissolved." According to Phyllis Chesler (Mothers
on Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody (New York: McGraw-Hill Book Company,1986),
p. 569: "Divorce is especially rare among those tribes where custody is retained by fathers."
According to Lucy Mair, author of Marriage, there is more divorce in matrilineal than in
patrilineal societies (cited in Elise Boulding, The Underside of History: A View of Women
Through Time (Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press, 1976), p. 145). According to Nicholas
Davidson (Gender Issues, May, 1988), "In America today, 70 percent of divorces are initiated by
women."
Things have always been thus. Writing nearly two centuries ago, Louis Gabriel Ambroise,
Vicomte de Bonald wrote (Du Divorce, Paris, 1818 [original ed., 1801]), p. 144, "Divorce is
provoked by wives more often than by husbands; and, according to Madame Necker, "the
confederacy of women who call for divorce is extremely numerous." p. 182: "It must not be
forgotten that most divorces are provoked by women; which proves that they are weaker or more
impassioned, not that they are more unhappy." According to the 4th century writer Servius, the
Great Goddess Demeter "execrated marriage," and presided not (as tradition would have us
believe) over marriage but over divorce. "The same character," says, Briffault, "appertains to all
the Great Goddesses of the Eastern Mediterranean world" (The Mothers (New York: Macmillan
and Company, 1927), III, 171).
According to Shere Hite (Women and Love: A Cultural Revolution in Progress (New York:
Alfred A. Knopf, 1987), p. 459, "Ninety-one percent of women who have divorced say they
made the decision to divorce, not their husbands."
Ibid. The improvement in sexual morality during the Victorian Era, when Gilder imagines it to
have been deteriorating, was formerly well known. According to Joseph McCabe's Rationalist
Encyclopedia (London: Watts and Co., 1950), p. 306:
In England and Wales the ratio of illegitimate to total births declined from 67 per l,000 in 1841
to 54 per 1,000 in 1871-80, and there was not at that time any wide knowledge of contraceptives.
Cf. in the same reference work the article "Illegitimacy in Catholic Countries" and Alfred
Kinsey's Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders Company, 1953),
p. 443.
Paula Gunn Allen, The Sacred Hoop: Recovering the Feminine in American Indian Traditions
(Boston: Beacon Press, 1986), p. 2.
Quoted in Elise Boulding, The Underside of History (Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press, 1976),
p. 303; emphasis added.
Ibid., p. 387.
Barbara Ehrenreich, Elizabeth Hess and Gloria Jacobs, Re- Making Love: The Feminization of
Sex (New York: Anchor Press, 1986), p. 190.
Ibid.
Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the
Earth (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1987), p. 200.
Men and Marriage, p. 13.
Cited in R. F. Doyle, The Rape of the Male (St. Paul: Poor Richard's Press, 1976), p. 87.
Will Durant, The Reformation (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1957), p. 303.
Farazaneh Taidi, Iranian actress, describes her divorce: "However, I think because I did not love
my husband--my marriage, as far as I was concerned, was a marriage of convenience--it did not
work, I had to get a divorce. Divorce came during the late Shah's regime and despite his Family
Protection Courts, divorce meant that I had to separate from my 3 1/2 year old son. Custody of
children automatically goes to husbands in Iran. Separation from my child was most hurtful to
me." (off our backs, November,
Review by Diane Broughton of Guido Ruggiero's The Boundaries of Eros: Sex Crime and
Sexuality in Renaissance Venice, Los Angeles Times, 10 March, 1985.
State v. Richardson, 40 NH 272 (NH l860), p. 273; cited in Andre P. Derdeyn, M. D., "Child
Custody Contests in Historical Perspective." Paper presented at the 129th annual meeting of the
American Psychiatric Association, Miami Beach, Florida, May 10-14, 1976: American Journal
of Psychiatry, 133: 12 Dec, 1976.
Most men simply have no concept of what we're up against, even when they're single parents and
have custody. Men still have this whole troop of women-- mothers, aunts, sisters, friends--to
wish them luck and give them household help and child care. And they've got enough money so
they can afford to pay for such things if the women around them don't come through.
Another:
It really disgusts me to watch single men who have custody of their children get so much
attention. Friends invite them over to dinner. My friends who are couples don't invite me and my
children over; they just expect that I can manage. Men have double the income and can afford to
pay for all the services they need, but they get treated as if they're wonderful to be doing all this
and must be really overloaded. I've never had that kind of support from anyone.
Arendell's comment:
These women felt especially deserted and segregated when they heard frequent cultural messages
to the effect that children raised by divorced mothers are likely candidates for delinquency,
homosexuality, or abnormal social behavior. Already overburdened with financial and emotional
responsibility for their children, they found societal indifference hard enough to tolerate; blanket
criticisms based on negative stereotypes outraged them. (Terry Arendell, Mothers and Divorce:
Legal, Economic and Social Dilemmas (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1986), p.100.)
Men and Marriage, pp. 168-9.
David Chambers, Making Fathers Pay: The Enforcement of Child Support (Chicago: University
of Chicago Press, 1979), pp. 3ff.
Quoted in Robert Briffault, The Mothers, abridged ed. (New York: Grosset and Dunlap, 1959),
p. 76.
Edward Westermarck, Three Essays on Sex and Marriage (London: Macmillan and Company,
1934), p. 296.
Cited by Gerda Lerner, The Creation of Patriarchy (New York: Oxford University Press, 1986),
p. 63.
Although, as we learn elsewhere in Ms. Friedan's writings, she has no intention of terminating
men's obligations under that contract, even after the termination of the contract itself. (The
Second Stage, p. l9.)
P. 239.
P. 215.
Mothers and Amazons: The First Feminine History of Culture (Garden City, N. Y.: Anchor
Books, 1973), p. 31.
Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique (New York: W. W. Norton, 1963), p. 346.
It Changed My Life: Writings on the Women's Movement (New York: Random House, 1976), p.
325.
Mothers and Divorce: Legal, Economic, and Social Dilemmas (Berkeley: University of
California Press, 1986), p. 34.
See Chapter II, note 10, page 00, and Chapter VII, part II, note 8, page 000 for the evidence.
The Radical Future of Liberal Feminism (New York: Longman, 1981), p. 212.
P. 248.
P. 238.
P. 207.
P. 252.
P. 241.
Weitzman, p. 161.
The Feminine Mystique, pp. 346, 92, 38, 127, 134, 387.
Practically the entire text of Dr. Weitzman's book could be cited as proving the same thing--that
women aren't nearly as much interested in men and marriage as in men's paychecks, and that the
paycheck of an ex-husband is every bit as good as the paycheck of a husband.
P. 380.
Statistics from Los Angeles Times, 19 September, 1988. See Annex to Chapter I, p. 000.
Ibid.
The expression "single-parent home" lumps fatherless homes together with motherless homes
and suggests they are equally likely to generate delinquency. This is untrue. If you ask the boys'
vice principal of your local high school, the man concerned with discipline problems, who the
troublemakers are, he will tell you they are boys from fatherless homes. (The girls' vice principal
will tell you about the problems--especially the sexual ones--of the girls from fatherless homes.)
Those from motherless homes are not a problem. Readers desirous of seeing documentation for
this will find it in the third and fourth chapters of my Back to Patriarchy.
Elizabeth Nickles and Laura Ashcraft, The Coming Matriarchy: How Women Will Gain the
Balance of Power (New York: Seaview Books, 1981), pp. 42f.; cf. pp. 105f.; emphasis in
original.
Edith Gilson with Susan Kane, Unnecessary Choices: The Hidden Life of the Executive Woman
(New York: William Morrow, 1987), p. p Review in Academe, Nov/Dec, 1987 of Penina Migdal
Glazer and Miriam Slater's Unequal Colleagues: The Entrance of Women into the Professions,
1890-1940 (New Brunswick, N. J.: Rutgers University Press, 1987).
Elise Boulding, The Underside of History: A View of Women Through Time (Boulder,
Colorado: Westview Press, 1976), p. 211.
The Economic Emergence of Women (New York: Basic Books, 1986), p. 128.
Bergmann, p. 37.
The amotivation of males in such societies is thus described by Rousseau: "Being confined to the
purely physical aspect of love, and fortunate in being ignorant of those preferences which irritate
the passions and increase the difficulties in the way of their satisfaction, savage men must needs
feel less frequently and less powerfully than we do the ardours of temperament; and
consequently disputes amongst them are less frequent and less cruel. Imagination, which plays
havoc amongst ourselves, has no power over the mind of the savage; each awaits peacefully the
impulse of nature, yields to it without exercising choice, with more pleasure than fury, and, the
need being satisfied, all desire is extinguished." (J. J. Rousseau, "Discours sur l'origine de
l'inegalite parmi les hommes," Oeuvres completes, vol. i, p. 548; quoted in Robert Briffault, The
Mothers (New York: Macmillan, 1927), II, p. 141.)
Helen Colton, Sex After the Sexual Revolution (New York: Association Press, 1972), p. 235.
Also the most ecologically devastated. Ecofeminists like to portray ecological spoliation as
resulting from the ruthlessness of capitalist patriarchy. Aerial photographs show Haiti, once
heavily forested, to be surrounded by oceans made brown by the erosion of the soil from that
happy matriarchy.
Los Angeles Times, 1 June, 1989. "Sexual promiscuity," says the Times, "has been almost a way
of life in Haiti." It is estimated that there will be over a million AIDS cases there by the year
2005.
"Port-au-Prince," writes Joan Chittister, "is a cesspool. The poor are everywhere; the streets are
gullies and the buildings are in various stages of collapse....The people are free only to
starve....Cardboard shacks lined mud paths barely more than a car- width wide. Children,
literally thousands of them, played in the mud and dirt....Starving dogs move slowly among the
children....Crowds gathered quickly, all young men and boys, pushing and asking for money,
candy, pens, eyeglasses. Anything at all." ("The Anguish of Haiti," in The Witness, January,
1990.)
Gerda Lerner, The Creation of Patriarchy (New York: Oxford University Press, 1986), p.114.
Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique (New York: W. W. Norton, 1963)
Ibid., p. 323.
The Second Stage (New York: Summit Books, 1981), p.142.
Ibid., p. 246.
Mary Ann Glendon, Abortion and Divorce in Western Law: American Failures, European
Challenges (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1987), p. 94.
See the quotation from Nickles and Ashcraft, Chapter II, Note
Demon Screwtape writes to Demon Wormwood that "humans who have not the gift of
continence can be deterred from seeking marriage as a solution because they do not find
themselves 'in love,' and, thanks to us [demons], the idea of marrying with any other motive
seems to them low and cynical. Yes, they think that. They regard the intention of loyalty to a
partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, and for the transmission of life, as
something lower than a storm of emotion." (C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (New York:
Macmillan, 1961), pp. 83f.
Mary Jo Bane, Here to Stay: American Families in the Twentiety Century (New York: Basic
Books, 1976), p. 70; emphasis added.
John Spong, Living In Sin? A Bishop Rethinks Human Sexuality (San Francisco, Harper and
Row, 1988), p. 64.
Arthur Evans, Witchcraft and the Gay Counterculture (Boston: Fag Rag Books, 1978), pp. 110f.
P. 110.
W. Robertson Smith, The Old Testament in the Jewish Church (London: A. and C. Black, 1892),
p. 350.
P. 111.
P. 130.
Shame and guilt are two of the most effective and humane regulators of behavior. It is a common
error to suppose that because they are unpleasant emotions they are bad things.
Adam Smith, An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations (New York: P. F.
Collier and Son, 1901; original publication, 1776), p. 197; emphasis added.
Lenore Weitzman, The Divorce Revolution (New York: The Free Press, 1985), p. 194.
Even the cadaver of the ex-husband must be made to pay. According to Susan Ross:
You should make special arrangements for the life insurance to insure that there will be a viable
policy to cover alimony and child support if your husband [read: ex-husband] should die. (Susan
Ross, The Rights of Women: The Basic ACLU Guide to Women's Rights (New York: Avon
Books, 1973), p. 221.)
Correction: Slaves get something in exchange for the enforced labor exacted from them--food,
clothing, shelter. Ex-husbands get nothing.
Mary Ann Glendon, Abortion and Divorce in Western Law: American Failures, European
Challenges (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press), p.94; emphasis in original.
Mary Ann Glendon, The Transformation of Family Law: State, Law, and the Family in the
United States and Western Europe (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1989), p. 210.
See the quotation from Vance Packard, Chapter VIII, note 24.
Bruce vs. Bruce, 14 Okla. 140, 163, 285, p. 30, 37 (1930); cited in Father's Forum, May, 1988.
Lenore Weitzman, The Marriage Contract (New York: The Free Press, 1981), p. 101.
Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Women and Economics: A Study of the Economic Relation Between
Men and Women as a Factor in Social Evolution (New York: Harper and Row, 1966; original
publication 1898), pp. 124f.; emphasis added.
And of course adult prisons as well. There are now some 900,000 incarcerated prisoners, with
40,000 new ones coming along each year, most of them products of female-headed families.
See Chapter VI, note 23, page 000.
Barbara Bergmann, The Economic Emergence of Women (New York: Basic Books, 1986), p.
232.
This was written before Lynette Fromm and Sara Jane Moore had made their attempts.--D.A.
Terry Arendell, Mothers and Divorce: Legal, Economic, and Social Dilemmas (Berkeley:
University of California Press, 1986), pp. 4f.; emphasis added. The quotation ascribed to Bane
does not occur on page 111 of her book.
Arendell, p. 152.
Elizabeth Herzog and Cecilia E. Sudia, "Children in Fatherless Families," in Review of Child
Development Research, Vol. 3: Child Development and Social Policy, ed. Bettye M. Caldwell
and Henry N. Ricciuti. (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1973), p. 148; emphasis added.
Ibid., p. 148.
P. 159.
P. 204.
Sample: "In this context, this study endeavors to contribute to the criminological family literature
by conducting a multivariate analysis of the comparative effects on self-report delinquency of
family structure and theoretically relevant measures of family quality (including supervision,
affection, conflict, child maltreatment, and overall home quality)." (Van Voorhis et al., p. 238)
California Monitor of Education [now National Monitor of Education], February, 1985. See the
fuller quotation in Annex to Chapter I, p. 000 above.