MACK MAJOR

SAVED, SEXY & STILL SINGLE: Why Christian Women cant

get married even though they love God

Copyright 2016 Mack Major. Published by EDEN DECODED

INCORPORATED. https://www.edendecoded.com

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this publication may be

reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in
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here only as provided by USA copyright law.

All scripture quotations are from the King James Version of

the Holy Bible, unless otherwise stated.

For all inquires, contact [email protected]

ISBN-13: 978-0-9964219-1-1

i|Page
preface
It's become obvious to me that a lot of women don't want to
change to get the relationship, man or the life they claim to
want. They really want to be saved! They want some poor
sap to come riding in like a knight in shining simp armor, and
save them: mostly from themselves.

These women don't really want a mature and equitable

relationship. They just want to satisfy their own personal
ache of loneliness and boredom. Or they're seeking to
escape from the consequences of the poor choices they
made earlier in life. Life doesn't work that way.

You can't hide from the harvest you sowed for. You can't
pass off the rewards of a foolish sinful lifestyle or bad choices
made. The life you now have was created by you: both the
good, bad and ugly of it.

People have a lottery ticket mentality when it comes to

relationships. They expect to put in a dollar's worth of work
to get a billion-dollar payout. You know what that's called?
Laziness. That's a welfare mentality. Nature doesn't respect
your welfare mindset. It has no regard for your pipe dreams.

Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work
hard will prosper. [Proverbs 13:4 NLT]

Nature respects heartfelt, engaged, honest WORK. It rewards

you with its bounty when you invest your cooperative efforts
into it. And so it goes for relationships.

ii | P a g e
intro | AS YOU READ
This book is NOT about 'finding your Boaz!' (Man, can we
retire that phrase already???)

There was only ONE Boaz; and Ruth already beat you to him.
Besides: getting a Boaz is a misnomer. The proper biblical
model would be Boaz seeking to find his Ruth.

Instead of seeking your Boaz, this book will help position you
to be found by the man that you are uniquely skilled and
equipped to be a help mate for.

My position in this book is simple: you are uniquely and

intrinsically the right fit for the right guy. And only God
knows who that man is. If you try to find him on your own,
you'll probably end up sampling a few wrong guys along the
way, and being sampled in return. That is not the proper
biblical model.

God wants you to be holy, remain holy and marry holy.

Holy matrimony after all isn't just empty words said during a
wedding ceremony: that is the standard we should each
strive for.

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but

fornicators and adulterers God will judge. [Hebrews 13:4]

Now obviously if you're not interested in getting married this

book won't be your cup of tea.

However, if you have ANY type of sexual desires whatsoever,

if you are dating, or if you already have children from a prior
relationship: you don't have the apostle Paul's gift for
remaining unmarried and celibate. You need a man! And

iii | P a g e
there's nothing wrong with that. You just need to be honest
with yourself.

Because God can't give you something you are unready to

receive. And being clear about your desires enables you to
receive from God faster with less hassles.

If you're someone who is hoping to meet the right guy and

get married soon: this book will definitely help you. No
doubt about it. Youve just made a great investment.

If you follow what this book teaches and put these points
into action, you'll find yourself being pulled by a powerful
mysterious Force right into the path of the right guy for you.
And he'll be the one willing to withstand the trials of life in
order to build a successful relationship with you.

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1 | WHY BEING SEXY NO
LONGER WORKS

More women need to understand: When you advertise your

body to every man via the outfits that you wear in public,
what makes you special for the right man when he finally
comes along?

What man wants to feel like you've given every other guy a
sneak preview of what you have to offer him? Is it even
special to him if every other man got to see it first?

Discretion is a lost art among women nowadays!

Learn how to see your body as something special that should

remain under wraps for the RIGHT guy...you know, the guy
who will actually put a ring on your finger and marry you
some day. And just to make sure we're clear:

Your body is NOT under wraps if I can see the full outline of
your booty, breasts, vagina print, thigh muscles, etc. Under
wraps means: I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHAPE EXISTS
UNDERNEATH YOUR CLOTHES, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
SHOWING IT TO ME.

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It's called HONOR ladies. First, honor God by dedicating your
body to Him. Then honor yourself by refusing to allow what
you wear to be the cause of your own visual molestation by
some thirsty guy (or a thirsty female).

Finally, honor your future spouse if you plan on having one,

by keeping your body a secret for him and him only. If more
women would practice discretion by honoring their own
bodies, more women would be getting married instead of
getting ran through like the D-line of the Atlanta Falcons.
(Sorry Falcons fans).

It's sad, because some will no doubt accuse me of being

judgmental and condescending. Which I'm not. I'm just
HONEST. And I'm actually helping you, if you'll listen.

Some of you can't figure out why, in spite of looking good

and having men fawn all over you in public, you still can't get
a guy to make that full commitment. But you have no
problem getting a man to come through and playing
bedroom gymnastics with you.

THE BIBLE SAID IT WELL WHEN IT STATED:

Like a gold ring in a pigs snout is a beautiful woman without

discretion. [Proverbs 11:22]

Don't be that pretty but nasty, drippy, snotty gold ring in an

oinkers nose. Instead, be the virtuous jewel that God
created all of His daughter's to be. And by doing so you'll
attract the type of man who appreciates the wonderful gifts
that were kept hidden just for him.

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2 | SEX IS SPECIAL
If sex is your primary weapon in securing a man, you're
flirting with disaster. Instead of using sex as the bait: think of
it more as the glue that binds a relationship stronger.

Sex is actually marriage glue. It's not even good glue for
boyfriend/girlfriend relationships anymore; not that it ever
was. But people mistakenly thought it was. That type of
erroneous thinking helped to create this whole single mom/
baby daddy phenomenon that has plagued our communities
and filled-up prisons for the past 30 years.

Sex seems to work best when it's between two fully

committed all-in individuals: a male and a female. That's
when it achieves its highest function and purpose in a
relationship.

So ladies: stop thinking you have the best nana in the world
that no man can resist. NEWSFLASH: you don't! You have the
SAME thing between your legs that billions of other women
have too. So what makes you think yours has some type of
super human capability? Don't let your ego make a fool out
of you.

When you try to hook and secure a man using sex, you
usually end up hooking and playing yourself. That tactic is
like pulling the trigger on a gun pointed at yourself, thinking
it'll shoot the other person instead. It's like slinging a
boomerang, hoping to hit the other person; forgetting that
what goes around comes back around again.

Stop acting like witches trying to cast a sex spell; and learn
the old-school methods and techniques used by women
since the dawn of time to get and keep a quality man.

3|Page
3 | SEXY OR EXCEPTIONAL?
Being called sexy is not a compliment! Whenever a guy tells a
woman that she looks sexy, he's already had sex with her in
his mind.

His intentions are not even hidden when he makes those

type of statements. He's letting you know off the rip that sex
is what he's after.

You may take it as a compliment ladies, but that depends on

the type of woman that you are.

If you're a basic female, or Stella trying to get her groove

back, you'll take it as a compliment that a guy wants to
stretch you out and use your uterus as a penis punching bag.

But if you're a female of a higher caliber, you'll take it as the

insult it should be to you. I keep stressing, sexy means SEX:
nothing more, nothing less. It's really just that simple.

People try to get all philosophical about it, but in the end you
can't divorce the word sex from the term sexy.

Whenever I post this, guys tend to get mad and say I'm
making too much out of it. But let another man tell him that
his young daughter looks 'sexy,' and see how fast the fists
fly!

There's nothing cool with just being looked at as sexy.

Stop aiming for sexy ladies, and start aiming for being
exceptional!

Men who seek wives are seeking an exceptional woman over

the big booty twerk queens who dominate the market.

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The big booty girls draw a lot of attention from horny
undisciplined guys full of thirsty energy. But it's the wrong
type of energy: the kind that seeks to satisfy one's unbridled
lust, to the detriment of the spirit, body and soul of the other
person.

The exceptional woman, on the other hand, draws attention

from family-minded guys who are focused more on creating
a legacy than creating a few cheap bedroom thrills.

By making yourself exceptional, you separate yourself from

the pack and stand out like a bright shining star in a dimly lit
sky.

But in order to be exceptional you have to first think

exceptionally. Many of you assume that you already do, but
your results prove otherwise. You need a transformation of
the MIND: a complete mental overhaul from the way you
presently think.

Make yourself exceptional today. Sexy is only skin deep. You

need something that can take you SOUL deep. And this book
you're currently reading does just that.

So what will it be: sexy or exceptional? The rest is up to YOU.

If you're the type thinking to yourself 'Why can't I be both?'
My response to you is this (and please excuse my frankness):

If you wish to continue gambling with your vagina, treating it

like a slot machine in the hopes of it possibly spitting out a
wedding ring some day: knock yourself out.

But how has that worked out for you so far? Some of you
have gone through over 50 men and counting, and still no
wedding ring! Just focus on being exceptional; the sexy part
will take care of itself.

5|Page
4 | ITS HARD TO TURN A SEX
FLING INTO A WEDDING RING

Many of you keep attracting lustful men because usually

that's the part of a man's nature that you appeal to most;
based on your personal style of dress and how you carry
yourself.

You can't dress extra sexy, joke with a man about sex half
the night long, then try to play like Joyce Meyers when he
gets you all alone. Stop sending mixed signals!

If you want a man to see you as something more than just an

object of his lust, carry yourself like you have more to offer
than just bedroom gymnastics.

Men typically treat women the way they believe those

women desire to be treated.

Notice I didnt say men treat women how women say they
want to be treated? This is because what you say and what
you do are two totally different things.

Some of you are clueless about how you REALLY look to the
male gender. You've become so accustomed to skank being
the new norm, you're not even aware that toned down
6|Page
skank is still skank at the end of the day! Appeal to our flesh
and our flesh is what you'll get. This isn't rocket science!

If you still think it's cute for you to take pics that show the
world the roundness of your butt, don't be surprised when
the next guy you meet decides to use that round butt strictly
for target practice. Use your imagination on that one.

Speaking of which: if you start off having sex with a man

early on in the relationship, then try to switch it up by
putting on your Mother Theresa act, don't be surprised when
it backfires on you. You ain't fooling nobody! That man
already knows you're a freak and how you really get down.
Switching it up now just makes you look like a manipulator
and a fraud.

What you get from relationships is what you put into it from
the jump.

You can't pick apples from a cherry tree. Whatever seed you
plant is the tree that you'll be eating from later.

In the same manner, it's extremely difficult to turn a sex fling

into a wedding ring. It can happen. But it rarely does, so the
odds are clearly stacked against you if marriage is your
ultimate goal.

It's best to just start off on the right foot, which is Gods way,
so you don't have those issues to contend with. No team
steps into the arena without having a plan for winning. And
neither should you.

Think smart, do smart, and you'll get smart results.

Keep doing dumb stuff hoping to get smart results: and you'll
show the world who the real dummy is.

7|Page
5 | HOW HE SEES YOU
A lot of women have a fantasized way of approaching this
subject. They seem to want the power to be able to dictate
to men what we consider to be wife material versus jump-off
material.

If you listen to the guys, we are constantly telling you which

type of woman gets the ring from which ones get the fling.

It's time to swallow your pride and arrogance, and really

listen!

How you answer the following questions will reveal where

you really stand as far as being marriage material goes.

Do you require commitment from a guy before you

have sex with him?

Are you sexually active, but marriage isn't even on

your radar at the moment?

Can you cook, do you clean, do you know how to keep

a clean home?

Does having a career mean more to you than having a

family of your own? Do you have a low sense of
respect for men in general? Be honest with yourself
here.

If you had to choose, would you rather have $100,000

in cash, or a happy, lasting, fulfilling marriage?

8|Page
 Do you celebrate with your lady friends when one of
them gets divorced?

Do you honestly believe a man should take you just as

you are?

Is having a man of your own more of a necessity for

you, or an accessory?

Are you willing and able to play the submissive role to

a man in a relationship?

Do you think biblical mandates about a wife being

subject to her husband are old and outdated?

Do you constantly find yourself in long term

relationships that tend to go nowhere?

These are serious questions to ask yourself. As someone

who believes in Jesus Christ, the right answers to these
questions are found in your Bible.

Here's the deal: Many of you haven't been proposed to yet

simply because you aren't Gods version of wife material.
And some of you can't maintain a marriage because of a few
key things that may need some minor (or major) tweaking in
your mindset.

I know it may sting to hear that, but there's a lot of truth to it

if you're open to doing things that will actually work in your
favor.

9|Page
6 | HAVING SEX BEFORE YOU
SHOULD

It's an unpopular truth and yet a reality: When you start out
having sex before you shouldwhich means having sex
before being married...you run the risk of never being able to
find fulfillment and satisfaction within the bounds of a
normal, healthy monogamous relationship.

Let me explain.

Sex is something a man and woman are supposed to discover

together for the first time. That means for the ladies: your
'first' should've been your husband. Not your temporary high
school sweetheart or some guy you met on campus during a
college party.

We mess sex up consistently in today's modern era,

because we are mentored by society to be rebels against
God.

We know that we are children of God and that the world

around us is under the control of the evil one. [1 John 5:19
NLT]

10 | P a g e
Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when
you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in
you. [1 John 2:15]

The worlds ways teach us to rebel against Gods better way.

The ways, methods, ideologies and mentality of the world is

poison to the soul of the Believer.

When a woman has multiple sexual partners throughout her

life, by the time she settles down with just one guy, she now
has a bunch of sexual experiences (and soul ties) with other
men. She will inevitably find herself comparing the guy she's
currently with, with the guys she used to be with.

That makes it unfair for the new guy.

It's the same for guys. When we have multiple sexual

experiences with different women, we find our minds
wandering after other tail when we're locked down in a
relationship with a spouse. We compare her to those other
freaky women we remember.

And that's highly unfair to our spouse.

Sex before marriage is opening pandora's box. Period. Once

you let it out the bag, it ain't going back in again. It's like
Adam and Eve's forbidden fruit. Once you partake in it, you
can never undo the experience or the negative side effects.

Which is why WAITING FOR MARRIAGE WORKS!

It may not be a perfect system that works for everyone all

the time; but it's a much more effective system than the one
we are presently using.

11 | P a g e
It's time to have grown man/grown woman conversations
about these things.

You know why you can't maintain a healthy normal

relationship? It's because you have way too many penises
clouding your mind about what a normal monogamous
relationship should be like!

Your ratchet track record of illicit sex has you mentally

comparing your new relationship to the others. And it's
stunting your ability to function the way God created you to.

Until you renew your mind by uploading a new spiritual

operating program into your psychethe Bible and Godly
spiritual books like this oneyou'll continue down a path
that leads to greater disappointment, more emotional
problems, new STDs and other demonic-related life issues.

So get your mind right today! Or ignore this warning, and

keep on seeking happiness in the next relationship...and the
next one...and the next...while incurring Gods wrath along
the way.

Let marriage be held in honor by all, and the bed undefiled:

but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. [Hebrews 13:4]

12 | P a g e
7 | YOU CANT HEAL WHAT
YOU WONT REVEAL
Everyone has what I like to call a false self.

Your false self goes by many names. One of which is the ego.
Your ego is not the real you. It's your alias; something like a
fake identity or a role that you temporarily play in order to
get from point A to point B in your life. I think many people
get confused between their ego and who they really are.

The people who have the most problems with what I write
on my blog or in my books seem to have this slight
confusion.

I'm often accused of bashing women. I don't 'bash' women.

But I do bash the false ego that many women and men have
created for themselves in order to function in this world. I
bash the ego because it's a tricky creature that eventually
tries to take over the real person and replace it with the
false. It's like an actor who gets so deep into the role they're
playing, they can't get back to their normal self.

I remember a line from a song Beyonc and Kanye West did

a few years ago. In the intro to this song, Kanye talked about
how when he was struggling to get noticed, he developed a
big ego. This big ego, or fake identity if you will, was
necessary at the time in order for him to reach the level he's
now at in the music business. But I wonder how much that
huge ego is helping or hindering Kanye at this point in his
life. I think many women in particular can identify with this.

This is a cruel and harsh world we live in. I think many

women, in order to function at some level of productivity,
collectively developed big egos over time. But there comes a

13 | P a g e
point when that ego no longer serves a good purpose, and
what was once a stepping stone has now become a
stumbling block.

The ego is now getting in the way of the REAL person and
stunting growth. It's this false ego and fake identity that I go
after in my books and articles. And to be all the way honest, I
don't intentionally go after it. It's just that, the things I write
have a way of confronting the false that's within us (myself
included), and calling us to deal with those things truthfully.

So understand that I'm not 'bashing' women. It's more like

peeling back the onion, exposing different layers that have
been hidden for quite some time.

You can't heal what you're scared to reveal. And many of you
are really hurting right now. There is hope for you. But you
have to be willing to listen. Arguing against your own best
interest is not only counterproductive; it also makes you
appear to be a few cans short of a six pack. In other words: a
little crazy.

A person stuck in a ditch really shouldn't be concerned with

how the rope looks that gets tossed down to them. Just grab
the darn thing, and let someone pull you to safety!

Don't be that person so stubborn and stuck in her own pride

that it becomes her ultimate downfall.

Learn to take constructive criticism, and govern yourself

accordingly. Now get started on your personal road to
healing. And remember: YOU CAN'T HEAL WHAT YOU'RE
SCARED TO REVEAL.

14 | P a g e
8 | CIRCLING BACK
I have to go here for a moment, because this is most likely
the bane of your existence right now.

Stop trying to resurrect a situation God is trying to kill! Stop

circling back around to old flames and former friends who
exited your life years ago. You're not checking on them
online out of a sense of concern or curiosity. You're just
addicted to pain and dysfunction. And it's time to kick your
addiction and break completely free.

If they exited your life, chances are it was for a good reason.
So they should stay exited. Some of you keep running back
to the same slop God already rescued you from. The same
relationships, same type of dysfunctional men, same type of
backstabbing 'friendships.'

As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.

[Proverbs 26:11]

Why? Because you never allowed your heart and mind to be

fully cleansed from the filth of your past. Until you allow God
to cleanse you from the inside, you'll just be a clean looking
person on the outside, but still a crap-lover at heart. And
slop is what you'll seek.

Once you've exited out of a dysfunctional situation: keep

moving forward. Move on and don't look back. Looking back
indicates that's where your heart is. And where your heart is,
thats where you ultimately belong. Remember Lot's wife.
[Genesis 19:26]

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9 | YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU
CANT HIDE FROM YOURSELF
There are some women who erroneously think they can
escape the drama of dealing with men by getting into lesbian
relationships with other women. It's one of the many
reasons why bisexuality is on the rise among so many
women today.

But please let me stop you now, before you make matters
worse. All you'll end up doing is getting into a drama-filled
relationship with a woman too. I see it all the time. You'll
simply carry the drama with you; because the source of the
drama isn't men...it's you!

You can't run from your problems in life. They'll simply slow
walk you down, because they are already attached to your
life. They go wherever you go. You need to root out your
problems by the source in order to properly get rid of them.

I keep saying: if you keep running into the same type of men
over and over again, maybe the problem ain't the men.
Perhaps it's YOU. A sobering reality check. But powerful to
the point of being life-changing if you'll let it.

Instead of having an escapist mentality, take on the

challenge of changing your mentality. You don't need to
switch teams. You can't solve the sickness of sin by
medicating yourself with more sin. That'll only make you
sicker. You just need to face your inner demons and cast
them completely OUT.

Do that and watch how your life suddenly opens up to

greater levels of happiness, success, love and joy. But it's all
up to you.

16 | P a g e
10 | NEW WINE ALWAYS TASTES
BETTER

New wine requires a new wineskin. That's an old expression

used by Jesus in a parable. And I think I understand what he
was saying.

Back in the day, when people made wine they stored it in a

thing called a wine skin. Wine skins were made from goat
skin. Over time they could become hard and brittle, causing
the wine inside to leak out. So you never put new wine in an
old wine skin; or it would burst and good wine would be
spilled. New wine required a new wine skin; something
softer and more flexible.

New wine is like a new way of thinking; a different way of

seeing things. An old wine skin is like the old way of doing
things.

When change is on the horizon, you can't do things using the

same old format. They won't mesh well together. The old
format can't contain the new. You need a new way of doing
things to accompany a new way of thinking. What worked
for you in the past won't work the same anymore moving
forward. Its time to embrace change.

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People who are afraid of change don't realize: change is
happening whether you want it to or not! You can't stop
change; nature is designed to be in a constant state of
motion. Anything that stops changing starts dying. This is
because God designed progress into the very fabric of the
Universe. Change is therefore inevitable. So you might as
well embrace it.

This is why some have dead relationships at the moment. It

all stems from a failure to embrace the changes. You tried
holding on stoutly to an older paradigm that no longer works
with the new direction things are moving in. You have to be
more flexible with life. Especially if what you're doing right
now isn't working for you. You should be wide open to
change; not resisting it.

If you want things in your life to be different, you have to

think differently.

You have to embrace a new mindset, and be willing to do

things differently than what you're accustomed to. This is
how you reach the future on your own terms, instead of
being dragged there against your will, finally arriving in the
future in a state of total confusion. Embrace change.

This doesn't mean to cast your morals to the side and just go
with the flow of society at large neither. Morals provide a
great compass to help you navigate through the changes that
are good for you, and avoiding those that are detrimental. So
wisdom should also come into play.

18 | P a g e
11 | ADDICTED TO JUNKFOOD
We live in an era where people are literally addicted to junk
food.

I'm talking about physically, mentally and spiritually

destructive junk. We eat tons of actual junk food. Ice cream,
sugar, salt, fatty foods, chips, soda, fast food, etc.
McDonald's, Jack in the Box, Burger King, Chinese food, hot
wings, Popeye's, etc.

Many of you can't remember the last time you ate nothing
but fruits and vegetables for an entire day; with no meats or
sweets. I don't care how nice your car performs today: if you
keep putting the cheapest gas and oil in your engine, it's only
a matter of time before you start having serious car
problems. Your body is no different. You can't eat pickled pig
knuckles and pig back sandwiches all the time, without
expecting to have long term health issues like high blood
pressure.

Speaking of pork: did you know that a pig's flesh is the

closest thing to human flesh out of all the animals we tend to
eat? Think about it the next time you watch The Walking
Dead. You're basically eating the same thing as those flesh
eating zombies!

We also tend to consume tons of MENTAL junk food.

Watching TV shows like The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones,
Empire, Sex and the City, Scandal, Power, Real Housewives
of_____, Love and Hip Hop, blah blah blah. Shows that
promote unbridled sexboth straight and gaysilly high
school type of rivalries and foolishness, primarily among
loud-mouthed rambunctious immature women. The sad
thing is how many grown women sit down and watch these

19 | P a g e
shows with their own teenage daughters! Basically cosigning
the immature and ratchet behavior.

Look at the majority of MOVIES geared towards todays

audience that typically do well at the box office. Stupid
comedies for the most part with weak story lines and a
bunch of silly cooning and shucking. Or shoot'em up bang
bang cheesy Scarface-type of gangster stories. And of course,
the movies that are a constant reminder that you were
slaves and butlers, maids and servants. When someone
comes along and gives us a different offering of something
positive and uplifting, we stay home and watch more Empire
instead.

Look at the kind of MUSIC we like to listen to: Sex, sex and
more sex, in constant rotation in some form or another. Our
music typically glorifies drug dealing, banging ho's, getting
played by men or women, heartbreak, tears, etc. Where are
the songs that uplift us, inspire, encourage? You won't find
them on your local radio stations because deejays aren't
allowed to play what they want to play. They can only play
what's on the playlist, handed down to them by corporate,
with little to no variation. This ensures that you're fed more
mental junk food in the form of songs and music.

Finally, we are addicted to SPIRITUAL junk food. You can spot

the addicted very easily. When you present them with truth,
they recoil in favor of more ear tickling messages that only
tell them how wonderful and glorious they areeven when
all the evidence in their lives says otherwise. They're the
ones who can't stand sound doctrine. They can't even stand
real talk without thinking it's demeaning and destructive to
their esteem. No, it's destructive to their fake ego! A huge
difference that's easily overlooked.

20 | P a g e
They prefer the fluffy marshmallow gospel of Christian self-
help and prosperity. But hate the more important nutrition
of spiritual disciplines such as prayer and fasting, studying
the Bible and embracing those parts of scripture NOT
highlighted or underlined in their bible.

A spiritual junk food diet leaves you with a malnourished

spirit.

Many of you are starving your soul to death, but you can't
tell because it doesn't feel like starvation. But the proof is in
the low caliber of spiritual fruit and productivity in your own
life. Go to church every week, yet still filled with hatred and
anger. Can quote scripture front and back, but can't live it to
save your life. Got your favorite Christian TV personality set
to record every day on your DVR, and still can't keep a
peaceful home. Check your spiritual diet. Therein lies the
problem.

Its time to go on a diet! Get rid of the junk food in your life:
physical, mental and spiritual.

It's time to embrace a healthier way of eating, thinking and

being.

Do a self-audit, and find the things that are keeping you

unhealthy and hindering your growth as a progressive
human being.

And do the hard task of emptying your cupboards of

everything thats making you sick inside and out. Down the
road, you'll be more than happy that you did.

21 | P a g e
12 | CHECK YOUR BAGGAGE
AT THE GATE
People are good at hiding their baggage. They can be very
adept at it even. It can take years of being with someone
before all of their personal baggage and inner clutter starts
to unpack. That's the trick of any relationship: learning to
spot baggage early on.

When folks hide details about their past from you, it's to trick
you into a relationship. There is a certain amount of
deception in it. Intentional deception.

They're banking on you developing strong feelings for them,

so by the time the ugly truth comes out, you'll be in too deep
to break things off. The fear is that you'll spot the real them
early on and break for the door. To avoid this from
happening, people tame their inner demons until the
relationship feels more safe and secure. Thats when the real
them comes out.

That's the number one reason why people stay in bad

relationships so long. They met a person before the baggage
check; and once they caught strong feelings, the person
started unloading all of their baggage and clutter.

When you remain in toxic relationships, you will inevitably

accumulate negative baggage that renders you unattractive.
Itll be hard for you to be in a loving relationship until you
dump all of the aggregated baggage from prior ungodly
relationships.

This is why its best for a woman to break off any

relationship that turns toxic. Toxic relationships lower the
stock value of a good woman.

22 | P a g e
13 | WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
DOESN'T JUST STAY IN VEGAS

What happens in Vegas doesn't just stay in Vegas. It goes

right up before the very throne of God, where it'll be waiting
to testify against you on Judgment Day!

I know sin can be very seductive. But it's time out for folks
thinking that all that sinful pleasure comes without a price
tag. The price for sin is VERY high. And it's a price higher than
most are willing to pay when the time comes to pay up.

And pay up you will.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life
in Christ Jesus our Lord. [Romans 6:23]

Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap
destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit
will reap eternal life. [Galatians 6:8]

So do all you can now to live righteously in God's sight. He

already knows you're going to make mistakes. We're human,
so that's inevitable.

23 | P a g e
But He's provided the power to live right for those who
choose to do so through the incomparable power of Jesus
Christ. What God will not do however, is interfere with our
choice to live right or not.

He who committeth sin is of the DEVIL. [1 John 3:8]

Did you know that was in the Bible? The key word in that
verse is commit. While it's true that all have sinned and
fallen short of God's gloryRomans 3:23not everyone is
committed to sin.

That word 'commit' denotes an intention to sin. It means to

make a pledge in your heart to consistently fall short of
God's glory: to be DEVOTED to sinning. It means to actually
be dedicated to it.

And it's that dedication to sinning that gets people in trouble

with God. If you are dedicated and pledged to living a sinful
lifestyle, the Bible is crystal clear: YOU ARE OF THE DEVIL.

Might as well go join a witchs coven, buy yourself a black-

hooded robe and start doing satanic rituals. Because you've
already made a pact to walk arm and arm with Satan himself.

And by now his demons are your constant companions. Get

right with God today, before it's too late.

24 | P a g e
14 | EMBRACE YOUR SCARS

Everything negative about you can be flipped into a positive.

The only thing preventing this from happening is how you
currently see yourself.

There's a concept within the field of information marketing

that says your negatives are worth a fortune. The fat person
who lost 100 LBS now has an empowering story to tell for
others struggling with weight issues. The alcoholic who
kicked his or her addiction can now help others become free
from their addictions too. Most information marketers
became filthy rich by reframing what was once wrong with
them at some point in their lives, into their own personal
'Rocky' comeback story.

Take for instance the actor Danny Trejo, better known as

Machete. He spent most of his youth in and out of prison, on
drugs, and accumulating the type of resume that virtually
guarantees a life of destruction. During his last prison stint,
he went through the 12 Step Program, got clean and stayed
clean. After his release he started working as a drug
counselor, where he met an older gentleman struggling with
an addiction of his own. The man also happened to be in the
Hollywood movie business.

25 | P a g e
He invited Danny to the set of a movie he was shooting just
for moral support. While on the set, the director saw the
hardened look and tattoos of the ex-con now turned drug
counselor, and thought he'd be great for a small role in the
film. It just so happened to be a movie based on prison. That
one role led to others, and today Danny Trejo is an American
movie icon in his own right. His 2 biggest scars in life: prison
and drug addiction, became the very things that launched his
life into a totally new and positive direction.

One more example: Michael K. Williams, known to most as

Omar on The Wire and Chalky White in the HBO series
Boardwalk Empire. He struggled to find work as an
actor/dancer, until a fateful bar fight at the age of 25 left him
with a huge noticeable scar across his face. Instead of
bemoaning his dis-figuration, he made the decision to
embrace his scar, citing the facial scars of the singer Seal as
his own personal inspiration. His new-found look led to
offers of immediate acting roles in both film and music
videos. And the rest, as they say, is history.

But interesting to note: the roles didn't come Michaels way

until he first embraced his scar. There's a lesson in there for
you as well. What 'scars' are you currently hiding? What is it
about your past that you hope others never see or discover?
Are you aware that your scars could very well be the
doorway into a life of greater significance?

In Christian circles, it is taught that the scars Jesus took on

his way to being crucified were for the healing of humanity.
The scriptures declare that by His stripes (scars) we are
healed. [Isaiah 53:5]

Well the student is never above the Teacher. So if by His

stripes we are healed, doesn't it stand to reason that by your
stripes others could be healed?

26 | P a g e
Think about it. Maybe God allowed you to take those whelps
and soul wounds in your own life, not to destroy you, but for
the benefit of others. What you went through and overcame
could be the ticket to someone else's freedom, as well as a
more meaningful life for yourself. Its just a thought.

Right now theres a man out there somewhere looking for

someone just like you. Scars, imperfections and all. But he
cant see you yet because you havent learned how to make
those scars serve you. Quit using them for an excuse to
underperform in life; and use them instead as a gateway into
a far greater expression of life, love, hope and beauty.

Quit hiding those imperfections and embrace them instead.

Wear them proudly, knowing that the person you are today
is partially because of the very wounds you wear from
yesterday's mistakes.

The only way to extract the precious fragrance of a rose is to

crush it. Life may have crushed you at certain points. But God
always has an ace up His sleeve, even in our personal failings
and mistakes. That crushing is what releases your inner
essence that inevitably blesses others. Embrace your scars
today.

And we know that God causes everything to work together

for the good of those who love God and are called according
to his purpose for them. [Romans 8:28]

27 | P a g e
15 | EVERY RELATIONSHIP
TEACHES US SOMETHING
Even the bad ones. It's not about what the other person did
to you. It's more about: What did you learn from this? Did
you learn how to be more patient? Kind? Loving? Forgiving?
Did you learn how to value and stand up for yourself? Have
you discovered hidden strengths inside of yourself that you
didn't even know were there?

Never forget that in every relationship whether good or bad:

YOU CHOSE IT! No one held a gun up to your head to force
you into a relationship. Somewhere along the way you made
a clear conscious decision to be with that person. We have
more power than we often give ourselves credit for, and
have more weaknesses that we should rely more on God to
help us overcome.

The funny thing is that we have become boastful in our

weaknesses while cowering from our own strengths. Such is
the paradox of being human these days. Never forget that in
any relationship you are always in controleven when you
don't feel like it. You're in control whether you decide to
stay, or to leave and go your separate ways.

I love to see people stay together. But the fact is: sometimes
you simply can't. In situations like this: how you move on or
whether you move on at all, depends on how much you are
willing to self-reflect. Learn the lessons that the relationship
was teaching you, and remember them for the rest of your
life. That's the key to sound emotional health, growth and
development.

28 | P a g e
16 | YOU CANT SKIP GRADES
IN THE SCHOOL OF LIFE
In Lifes school of learning, there are no mercy
advancements.

You don't get skipped up a grade just because you're getting

older. That's why you have people well into their adult years
still repeating the same silly mistakes over and over again.
People like that are stuck, doomed to repeat the same grade
over again until they get it right. Only then can they advance
to the next stage of development.

In God's system, you continue to repeat the same grade over

and over again until you learn the lesson. Even if it takes you
60 years to do it.

For promotion comes neither from the east, nor from the
west, nor from the south. But God is the judge: he puts down
one, and sets up another. [Psalm 75:6-7]

That's why it's imperative that you work through your issues;
so they won't continue to trip you up in life.

God will allow whatever you allow in your life, and for as
long as you are willing to tolerate it.

You are the deciding factor for when things in your life will
get better.

29 | P a g e
17 | ITS TIME TO MATURE IN
YOUR RELATIONSHIP CHOICES
Its time for you to mature in your relationship choices.
When you were youngerlike 19 or 20it was easier to play
around and date different types of men. You were still in
your discovery phase, so you may have been looking for your
particular type.

But once you cross the threshold of 25, its way past time to
start thinking more responsibly about men. Thats when you
start thinking about your future, what would make a good
husband and father, etc.

You cant continue to date recklessly beyond the age of 25,

because after that time is no longer on your side as it once
was. Much of dating is biologically and genetically coded.

As a woman your body is biologically at its peak for prime

mating when you are between the ages of 16-29. Youll
notice thats when your boobs were the perkiest, your thighs
the firmest, you could eat just about anything and it didnt
even show up on your body.

But once you cross over into the 30s, youll start gaining
weight around your midsection and hips much easier. That
butt starts to spread wider. And it becomes more difficult to
drop the poundage once its been put on.

Men are also genetically wired to be sexually attracted to

women who are in that prime mating category of age 16-29.
This is the real reason why many older men prefer younger
women to older ones. Hes not trying to cut the middle-aged
women out the picture. And hes not attempting to be
immature in his thinking. Hes simply being driven by his

30 | P a g e
biology, which tells him the younger woman is more suitable
for mating with than the older woman.

His body instinctively tells him that she has the highest
chance of producing the healthiest children with.

Our genetics and biology came pre-wired by God. Which is

why its important that women today dont get too caught
up in the I am woman hear me roar rhetoric of this modern
age.

Trying to live by the mandates of women who have a bone to

pick with men in generaland who really prefer sexual
contact with other womenis a destructive thing for a
woman who will one day wake up from that fantasy, seeking
a more traditional relationship and lifestyle. She may find
herself waking up one day in her late 40s, wondering why
the men her age are all running after the women still in their
20s.

Now Im aware that many of you reading this book are

already past the age of 29. Yes, you may have a few kids. And
yes you may have picked up a few pounds along the way too.

So where do you fit in with this? Its simple: now that you are
beginning to wake up, you can see what youve been doing
that hasnt served your overall best interests.

You can now begin to change that, and present yourself in

such a manner that a man whos also seeking a companion
for a wife will be easily attracted to you. You wont be every
mans cup of tea. But you are definitely somebodys fresh cup
of coffee! And its time you started availing yourself to those
who are searching for you.

31 | P a g e
18 | LET GOD BE YOUR
MATCHMAKER

When it comes to finding a suitable mate: If the pickings are

slim where you live, sometimes you have to take the show
on the road and go where the pickings are much better.

But it won't serve you to do that if YOU are the reason why
you can't find a decent mate in the first place. You'll just end
up relocating your problems, baggage and drama with you
when you move.

The best thing you can do is to position yourself to be chosen

by the kind of person you need.

Notice I said need. We often run foolishly after what we

want, failing to realize it'll never work because relationships
work best when built around what's best for usnot what
necessarily feels or looks good to our fleshy senses alone.
This takes prayer and the willingness to both trust God's
choice for a quality mate, and the willingness to allow Him to
work on you so you're suitable to that which you seek.

It really doesnt matter where you live. God can bring the
right man or woman right to you wherever you're at. Or He

32 | P a g e
can relocate you as needed. You just have to put your
Christianity where your mouth is and actually TRUST Him to
meet this need in your life.

God is the absolute perfect matchmaker. He already knows

what you need.

And God also knows who needs you. Not many think of it
from that perspective: that it's not just all about you. God
takes into account what the other person needs as well. And
if you're not it, He won't force that person to be with you
just to suit your narcissism.

But few are willing to rely on God for these services, because
it requires personal work. And personal work can be very
uncomfortable to do. Especially when the things required to
get you ready for the right one includes being willing to
forgive the past in order to embrace the future. So we keep
bumping our heads until we come to the place where we're
willing to trust God to play matchmaker for us too.

Let's face it: if we knew how to pick the right mate for
ourselves, we never would have spent so many years
choosing the wrong ones instead. So you need help in this
area if you're still actively searching.

Why not seek God's help today? Let him do a complete work
in your heart and mind so that you're actually ready for the
goodness He desires to send your way.

Oh, and let Him do some work on you in the gym too.
Nothing wrong with a little exercise to do some temple
maintenance when needed.

33 | P a g e
19 | GOD'S ALTERNATIVE TO
DATING
The world tells you it's okay to date and 'shop around' a bit
before finding a spouse. But the world's way is not God's
way.

When we follow the model of 'shopping around' a bit, we

will inevitably end up 'test driving' a few models that we like.
And the more miles spent, that newer model ends up
becoming a used model: dropping its value significantly.

And that's how you end up being treated like a cheap

commodity.

The only logical alternative to the world's idea of 'dating' is

God's model, found in His Word:

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his

own WIFE, and let every woman have her own HUSBAND. [1
Corinthians 7:2]

In other words, marriage is God's answer to worldly dating.

Which brings up a great question: Why does the Church
follow the world's model for "dating" anyway???

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone
loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all
that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the
eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but
is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its
lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. [1
John 2:15-17]

34 | P a g e
Sisters, God's Word is good in every dispensation of time:
including this one! It's never old fashioned or outdated.

But it takes discipline to make up one's mind to do things

God's way: hence the term being a disciple.

Christians aren't supposed to 'date.'

God expects us to find a spouse, or choose to remain single

and sexually celibate for the remainder of our lives. And
speaking of finding a spouse:

The biblical model for finding a spouse falls on the shoulders

of GOD and the MAN. This may be a hard pill for today's
impatient woman to follow: but it's the best solution for
those seeking to do things God's way, and not the world's.

Let the world date and go on dating some more.

As a joint-heir with Jesus Christ, leave the finding of a wife in

His hands, and you go on doing your Father's business.

Trust me: when God has a match for the right woman with
the right man, God will be the first one to let that guy know.
The Lord will waltz her right into his life the same way He did
with Adam:

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man,
and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place
with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the
man he made into a woman AND BROUGHT HER TO THE
MAN. [Genesis 2:21-22]

NOTE: it was God who presented the woman to the man.

Adam didn't just find her on his own.

35 | P a g e
When you read that chapter in its entirety, you'll see that
God did several things before presenting the man with a
wife:

1. He gave the man work to do, teaching him how to work

for his own sustenance. So it's safe to assume that God won't
give a man his own wife until that man is first capable of
taking care of himself and a family. (v.15)

2. He showed the man how to be responsible for his

immediate environment by tasking him with naming each
and every animal. By Adam naming the animals, he was
accepting responsibility for understanding their nature in
relation to his own. (v.19)

3. He let the man see his own need for a special companion
(v.20)

4. He put the man into a state of slumber: which is where

most men remain until they're ready for God to "wake them
up" and assume the role of being a husband. (v. 21)

5. He made a woman especially for the man based on what

the man needed...not the other way around. (v.22) Instead
of women out there seeking their Boaz, Boaz should be out
there seeking for his Ruth. (But 'Ruth' must also be wise
enough to be found by a Boaz-type of guy!)

6. When Adam was sufficiently awake and aware, GOD

brought the woman and presented her to him. (v. 22)

7. This is probably the most important element of all: Adam

realized that this particular woman was a perfect fit for him.
And he didn't hesitate to claim her for his own. (v. 23-24)

----> Ladies: be careful of the man who treats you like having
you in his life is nothing special. If he's not excited about

36 | P a g e
claiming you for himself, or at least letting his family and
friends know about you: YOU PROBABLY AIN'T THE ONE.

To recap: not all men are husband material. But the one who
understands the importance of work, who is responsible,
who recognizes his need for a special companion, whos
ready to fill the role of being a husband, and who realizes
that God has prepared a special woman just for him; thats
the man who is ready for marriage. All others are either
playing the field, still trying to find themselves, or simply not
interested in getting married.

The biblical alternative to worldly dating is this: waiting on

God to bring the right woman into the right man's life.

It's a simple process that requires time, a little patience, and

faith in God's system: not the world's. Remember: the just
shall live by faith. [Hebrews 10:38]

It took time for God to prepare Eve for Adam. He had to

forge her while the man was totally unaware that someone
special was being prepared for him by the hands of God.

And if you truly desire to have a spouse of your own, God

will do the same for you too. You must be willing to let God
forge you until youre the right one for the right guy.

But once we omit God from this process, we'll suffer the cost
in broken lives, shattered hearts and jaded attitudes towards
marriage or the opposite sex.

So govern yourselves accordingly.

37 | P a g e
20 | ITS A THIN LINE BETWEEN
LOVE AND WITCHCRAFT

People need to learn when to let go. Not every relationship

was meant to work out the way you hoped it would.

If it's truly love you have for the other person, love them
enough to let them go if they want to leave. Real love wants
what's best for the other person; not just what YOU want.

But that other stuff that masquerades as love will attempt to

control and coerce against another person's will. We have
another word for that type of love: WITCHCRAFT.

If you are trying to force someone into a relationship with

you, or punish them for moving on, you are no longer
operating in godly energy.

You have now entered the dark side of the Force. That's
where demons and witches, warlocks and devils operate.
When you operate in satanic dark energy, it's like a
boomerang that always comes around full circle.

The ill-will and venom intended for another is something you

must partake in also. It's like a poison you must ingest too in
order to hurt the other person.
38 | P a g e
So if someone wants to exit your life: LET THEM! I know
more people who allowed themselves to stay in relationships
they should have gotten out of earlier, just to find their lives
in utter ruin several years down the road. And it could have
been avoided had they acted on their first impulse to let the
other person go much sooner.

Be careful about wanting a relationship to continue that has

run its course. That relationship you are trying desperately to
cling to would probably not serve your long term life plan
anyway. Trust the greater wisdom of God in allowing it to
end.

Nature abhors a vacuum. God will never end one thing in our
life without having something better to replace it with. Take
comfort in that and move on in grace.

LADY TIP: You don't win a man over by being combative with
him. That may work for some men: you know, the kind who
enjoy being dog chained and paddled. But it repels more
than it attracts. There's nothing wrong with healthy
disagreement. But some of you ladies take it overboard.
Learn tactful silence. Know when to stand your ground and
when to strategically let it go. Many of you are so use to
combat that you don't know when to stop fighting! It's not a
mark of strength to constantly attempt to over talk or
oppose another person. It's actually a mark of immaturity.
And it's a massive turnoff to most men.

39 | P a g e
21 | YOU CANT FOOL A MAN
INTO MARRYING YOU

Ladies, here's the thing: you can't fool a man into marriage.
That only works on two types of men: young guys fresh out
of high school, and older guys who have no game, who are
happy to have any woman pay them attention.

The truth is, you may have blown many chances to get
married by now. You did this by playing around in your 20's,
dating the wrong sort of men, being sexually promiscuous,
experimenting, partying, getting high, and having kids by
men who had no intentions on ever marrying you. By the
time you reached your 30's, now you're seeking a good man
to come along and overlook your mess-ups and shady
history, and marry you anyway.

LIFE DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. You can't expect a fully

functional intelligent adult male to overlook the fact that you
have 3 or 4 kids with varying fathers. Nor will he overlook the
fact that you're now in your mid 30's or older, and haven't
accomplished much with your life professionally either. And
he'll easily observe that you still operate at the emotional
level of a bratty spoiled 16 year old. The only men who are
willing to overlook such things are the kind who want to use

40 | P a g e
your backside for sexual target practice. Im only being
honest with you.

One of the reasons so many of you are stuck in constant

'sexy mode' is because you're still attempting to use sex as
the lure to catch a decent man. But it's a losing strategy
because no decent guy will allow himself to marry a woman
who has presented herself like an easy jump-off. Jump-offs
get treated like jump-offs. Potential wives get wifed up! It's
just that simple.

I'm just telling you what most guys never will, but you need
to hear it anyway. Because the path many of you have
chosen will leave you high and dry. You'll spend your waning
years making runs out to PetSmart to buy more kitty litter.

But all isn't lost. You just have to be willing to do the difficult
work of humbling yourself so that God can truly help you.
Lose the diva attitude and mantra. Unless you're a Ru Paul
drag queen look-alike, you're no diva. Sorry, but the cross-
dressers and trannies stole that one from you. While I'm all
for having a high self-esteem, it's time out for pretending.
There's a huge difference you know. And that's how most of
you come off when you try to hide the fact that your life is a
hot mess, and you're pretending to be some great
relationship catch. You look like a fake.

Guys will play right past your pretenses, mount you like a
wild horse, have their sexual way with you, then discard you
like all the other guys before them did.

The only way out of this mess you have created with your life
is to turn back to God for real for real. You have to humble
yourself before the Almighty, acknowledge your need for full
redemption, and be willing to change and become the
person God is calling you to be. And THEN maybe some

41 | P a g e
decent guy will want to sweep you off your feet and marry
you. At least that way it'll be an equitable exchange.

God is more than capable of giving you that upgrade. But He

won't give it to a pompous, high-sidity pretentious woman
who's only using God to get herself a man. And as soon as
she gets one, she'll be tossing God to the side like some poor
sap who's stuck in the friend zone, until she needs Him again.

Some of you actually treat Jesus like He's some type of simp!
I call these Triple AAA Christians. Because they only use Jesus
like he's the Triple AAA car trouble service; when their lives
are broken down in some way.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man

soweth, that shall he also reap. [Galatians 6:7]

That's where many of you are at today. You've sown a wild,

reckless, godless life in your younger years. And now you
want to cover your tracks by pretending to be something
you're not. But your life isn't working right because YOU
CAN'T FOOL GOD!

It's repentance time. That good ole fashioned repentance.

The kind that brings tears to your eyes.

Strip away the pretense and be honest with both God and
yourself. No more faking.

It's time to get real with the Lord. Let Him heal you, fix you
and clean you up. And maybe then you'll truly be ready for
the love you say you deserve. But it all starts with your
willingness to come clean with God and yourself.

42 | P a g e
22 | WHAT DOES MARRIAGE
MEAN TO YOU?
What is marriage to you? Is it just an engagement ring? A
piece of paper stamped and filed away in the county record
books by the government? Or is it a verbal agreement
between a man and a woman?

Marriage in my book is a three-way COVENANT between

man, woman and God. Period. The purpose of the
government being involved is because the powers that be
are supposed to stand in the place of God on earth, sealing
the contract on God's behalf along with the married couple.

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For

there is no authority except from God, and those that exist
have been instituted by God. [Romans 13:1]

The court document is but a replica of the actual document

that's filed away in the highest Court in the Universe, before
God and His holy angels.

I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and

whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and
whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
[Matthew 16:19]

That means yes, your marriage certificate is signed, sealed

and delivered before God, until death comes to divide you
apart from your mate. Just like you vowed for it to be. This
puts a different spin on marriage and divorce when you think
of it from that perspective. Which is why divorce is such a
negative thing.

43 | P a g e
Divorce comes from two different words that mean to divide
a force. In other words: marriage is a FORCE because God
was brought into the agreement. That's why you went
before a spiritual minister or legal justice of the peace. Both
have authority before God to seal marriage contracts after
vows have been exchanged. Marriage is always between
three parties, not just two. And when you divide any force, it
becomes weaker in division than it was in unity because
you've broken your vow between one of the other two
binding forces: either your spouse and or God.

Taking things a step further: when you vowed to stay

together until DEATH, you were giving God the legal right
and authority to honor those words. Meaning: when you
leave your spouse for any reason other than adultery or
death, you've invited a curse of death into your situation for
breaking your vow. In the ancient world, a broken vow
ALWAYS brought either a death sentence or some type of
calamity with it. And we wonder why so many kids become
messed up after their parents divorce!

I'm no prude. I understand that we live in a culture where

marriage as intended is no longer valued. And sometimes
just for the sake of safety, you have to put space between
yourself and someone who means to hurt you. I'm just
redefining the words within context of their original
intention. Maybe if people took this view of marriage and
divorce instead of jumping ship at the first sign of stormy
weather, they would be less likely to break a signed contract
between God and their spouse. Something to truly think
about.

44 | P a g e
23 | BREAKING THE WALLS
BETWEEN THE SEXES
This chapter is written primarily to a black audience. This is
because black people have a unique set of problems and
issues that desperately need to be addressed. Now if youre
white, Asian, Hispanic or other, dont despair. There is
plenty youll gain from reading this chapter as well. But I
want to talk specifically to my black sisters in this chapter. So
all others: feel free to skip this one if you like.

There are basically 2 types of black people in America as I see

it: (1) The dusty, hood, broken-spirited kind who have
accepted bottom status as their reality; and (2) Those of us
who are on an upward climb of mobility and refuse to settle
for second best in life.

There really is no middle ground between the two. The

battle is between which of these two groups will be the
future of the black community in America. The same can also
be said for black people in other parts of the world too.

The solutions to the problems we face really reside in the

hands of the upwardly mobile blacks. Its time for us to stop
cosigning ratchet, dusty negro behavior, and those of us who
want better need to begin intermarrying and having children
among ourselves.

But that's going to require the walls between the sexes to

come down. Because its not the ratchet blacks at the
bottom getting divorced like crazy: its mostly the more
upwardly mobile blacks who are doing so. There are way too
many selfish women and men, only thinking of themselves
and what they want, as opposed to what's best for their
children or the collective. So we need to begin embracing

45 | P a g e
once more the type of values that are conducive to building
strong families, communities and legacies.

Which is the number one reason I'm a huge advocate for

doing things the way former generations did; they knew how
to get married and stay married. And they didn't do it for
themselves only. They did it for their kids and the community
as a whole. They didn't tolerate any ratchet mess in their
homes or communities either. The men were men, the
women were women. And children stayed in their place.
Everyone played their role and combined resources for the
betterment of the family and community.

We need to get back to that. The older generation also

valued business ownership over employment. My
grandfather retired from the coal mine in Birmingham
Alabama at the age of 45, with ten kids and a wife to take
care of. He retired and immediately opened up his own
grocery store: right next door to his house outside of
Birmingham, in a little town named Fairfield. His father
before him owned land and farmed: which is another term
for entrepreneurship. My great-great grandfathers were all
wealthy merchants due to the large amount of land they
were successful in getting, as their father before them came
from Africa as a free manpurchased his own brother out of
slavery and started the upward climb in slave-holding
Alabama way back in the mid-1800s.

My point is: we've always been a determined people: not

just my family, but all families who refused to accept an
assigned low-class inferior status in life. But we keep
confusing ourselves with the non-determined lazy set.
Excuse the Ebonics, but dey not us! And we not dem! And its
time we made that distinction known. If you want to be a
lazy, shiftless, broke dusty hood negro or hoodrat, do you.

46 | P a g e
But I don't want nothing to do with you unless youre ready
to change.

The other thing our grandparents had was a strong, rock

solid spiritual foundation. They weren't Christians because
the white man forced it on them during slavery. People
forget that black folks are the most spiritual group of people
on the planet. Just about every major religion was founded
by a son of African soil. Our grandparents became Christians
because they were practical. They found in it a power that
worked for them and their needs. That's why they were
Christians.

I hate when people dishonor the elders by suggesting black

folks are dumb for following the faith that really was
responsible for a Civil War being foughtthat resulted in our
freedom from chattel slaveryand an abolitionist
movement prior to that which gave us the Underground
Railroad. Most of the historically black colleges and
universities (HBCU's) were founded by Christians providing a
higher education and a leg up in this society for black people.
Marcus Garvey and the Universal Negro Improvement
Association was a Christian-based organization. People
conveniently leave that out when discussing Pan-Africanism.
And lets not fail to mention the Civil Rights Movement that
brought us closer to true freedom in this country more than
anything else to date was also a Christian organization.

And it was because of those prayers that our enslaved

ancestors bombarded heaven with late at night, down in the
woods where they held secret brush arbor church services:
far away from the spying eyes and ears of the plantation
owners, that we now bask in some elements of the freedom
they hoped to enjoy for themselves. Their faith laid the
groundwork for our freedom, just so we can now thumb our
nose at their memory and what they provided. But we still

47 | P a g e
aren't half the men and women they were. So again my point
is: lets get back to what worked!

Sometimes the way forward is to first look back. We already

have a successful blueprint for what works. Why did we ever
get rid of it? What sort of enchantment befell us that made
us give up the strides and gains our ancestors made for us in
this country, in exchange for fool's gold? Was it worth it?

I refuse to believe that most intelligent black women aspire

to be like the characters from reality TV shows! Shows like
that never would've worked in my grandmother's era.
Neither would any of those other ratchet shows. Because
black women would've refused to watch something so
degrading to their own womanhood. Have we become that
starved for entertainment and escapism that we'll accept
anything to watch; no matter how degrading or destructive
to the self-image of our own children?

Those of us who say we want better and who care about our
collective lot, these are the ones we need to be linking up
with. I don't care so much about your educational
accomplishments: I want to know what type of heart you
have. Show me your mentality and your value system. If
you're on some its all about me mentality, I don't want to
know you. But if you want what I want, and care like I care,
and vice versa: lets come together and rebuild.

We don't have to stay last place in America or the rest of the

world. We simply choose to. But not any longer. A new day is
dawning as a new breed of black person starts to awaken
from a long slumber. And you are one of them!

Lets break the curse of single parenting and absentee

parenting. That was never our lot, so lets not make it a
legacy.

48 | P a g e
24 | STOP SUPPORTING THE
SISTAHOOD OF FAILURE

Some women clearly have a vested interest in keeping as

much ratchetness going as possible. As long as ratchetness is
in vogue, these women feel they have an even playing field
to compete with the non-ratchet women for the attention of
men. I can identify such women easily. I call them the
sisterhood of failure.

They're the ones who argue FOR the hoochy couture style of
dressing. They have an obvious aversion to strong upscale
masculine men; and prefer overgrown thugged out mama's
boys or soft men instead. The mama's boys are much easier
for them to control and wrap around their fingers.

Hence why the sisterhood of failure always has one soft guy-
friend waiting in the wings to replace the last one. And when
their poor relationship choices blow up in their faces, they
try to use their low-grade standard in men as the norm for
all men.

These women literally despise any other woman who doesn't

see things their way. They need non-ratchet women to

49 | P a g e
validate their victim mentality. Absent of that, they have no
leg to stand on.

Ladies, it's time to separate yourself from the sisterhood of

failure. Stop letting low grade women use you as a cover for
their raggedy way of living.

If you're a quality woman, it's time to start shaming the

lower class of women who prefer this current jacked up
state we are in.

People think shame is a bad thing. It's not. Shame simply

implies that enough of God's righteous standard exists within
a person to cause them to recognize how they are falling
short. Hopefully leading to a shift in behavior.

For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us

away from sin and results in salvation. There's no regret for
that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks
repentance, results in spiritual death. [2 Corinthians 7:10
NLT]

You don't have to be judgmental or condescending. Just

refuse to co-sign on other women's scandalous, ratchet
behavior.

It's a dangerous, backwards society that no longer feels

shame for shameful behavior. Bringing kids into this world
outside of marriage is a shameful thing.

Being a wanton, reckless sexual plaything is a shameful thing.

Engaging in lesbian sexual activity with another woman is a
shameful thing. Doesn't matter who wrote a popular book
saying otherwise: it's shameful.

What's sad is that we even need to be reminded of this at

all! At one point, these things were common knowledge

50 | P a g e
within our society. If we are ever going to create a better
world for our kids than the one we inherited from our
parents, it's going to take a concerted effort between men
and women who want better.

The talented tenth title no longer belongs to those with so-

called higher education alone. I'm jacking the concept
Deebo-style! It now stands for the ten percent of folks with
a strong moral consciousness. It falls on us, this tiny remnant
of people, to recreate our community anew.

I realize that the stuff I write doesn't appeal to the majority

of people. And I'm cool with that. My stuff appeals to the
new talented tenth. That's my market: the social changers.
The deeper thinkers. The change agents.

It doesn't take a college degree to be one. All it takes is

recognition that something drastic needs to be done; and
the willingness to actually do something to make things
better. So I challenge both men and women to step things up
today. Let's work together to create a tomorrow we can be
proud to leave future generations.

AND LADIES: put some distance between yourself and those

women who enjoy our current state of dysfunction. As more
women break away from the excuse-making and subpar
behavior, others will follow. It's time to make being smart,
moral and monogamous the new cool. So spread the word!

51 | P a g e
25 | HOW LIBERATION BECAME
BONDAGE
Allow me to share with you an opinionated history lesson
about how consumerism was used as a tool to undermine
American families.

In the 1940's and 50's, the average American household

consisted of a husband as the chief financial decision maker
and breadwinner, and his wife, who's primary task was
taking care of the home front. Five days out the week like
clockwork the man would trek off to earn enough money to
take care of his family. When he came home the house was
clean, the children calm and tended to, and dinner was hot
on the stove and waiting.

The wife generally handled paying the bills on time and

making sure the money was safely deposited in the bank.
The husband had the final word over financial matters. And
the system worked perfectly like this since its inception. But
not for major corporations selling products to the masses.
They wanted to find a way to increase their profits by
opening up the market to a wider audience. The government
wanted a way to increase its tax base. And women were the
answer to doing both.

They began advertising independence to the American

woman. They used slick advertising and marketing
campaigns to cause women to feel that being a homemaker
and wife was somehow demeaning; a certain form of
slavery. TV shows started arriving showing women who were
independent of a man's influence; strong female characters
with somewhat of a tough masculine disposition who could
make their own decisions. And in a subtle way advertisers

52 | P a g e
married corporations products to the fight for women's
liberation happening in the larger community.

Image: Vintage Cigarette Advertisement marketing the independence of

American Women.

Now this wasn't done because they actually cared about the
way women were currently being treated at home as wives.
It was done to cause a rift in the family structure and release
women to become mass consumers too.

53 | P a g e
Image: Vintage Advertisement promoting products to fill emotional voids.

In other words: they were aiming for the woman's purse.

And in the 40's and 50's her purse was controlled by the man
of the house.

Follow me on this: In only a few short decades, they

convinced women to abandon their motherly and wifely
roles, and to go after money-making by pursuing careers,
just like their male counterparts.

54 | P a g e
Image: Vintage Advertisement pushing women to leave home and go to work.

Suddenly being a homemaker was something to be looked

down upon. And a woman who didn't pursue a higher
education and a corporate career first over marriage and
motherhood needed to have her head checked. She was old-
fashioned and not up with the times; or considered a
brainwashed person still lingering in a bygone era.

55 | P a g e
This coup over the family structure by corporations working
together with advertisers did exactly what it was designed to
do: turn women into mass consumers. They understood well
the female psyche: by not meeting the call to wife and
motherhood as they should, women would become
disenchanted with life, isolated and lonely. In order to
soothe the ache of loneliness, women would seek to fill the
emotional voids in their lives by buying more 'stuff.' After all:
they were making the money now, and could afford to do so.
Thus, new markets for more products aimed at women were
born.

Image: Vintage Advertisement selling a feminine hygiene product. Dont want

your man to leave you ladies? Better clean yourself up with Lysol!

56 | P a g e
Which is why advertisers play on the insecurities of women
to sell them more and more useless stuff. Seeking to find an
elusive sense of meaning and validation from degrees and
job titles, women are constantly told to look outside
themselves for some product or 'thing' that will finally make
them more happy and beautiful. Happiness is always just one
more product away. This is pimping in its highest form.

Image: Vintage Advertisement for a figure enhancement product.

57 | P a g e
If she was attached to a good man, he wouldn't tolerate her
spending money on silly useless junk. He would put some
spending discipline in place over the money in that
household. But without a man in the home, a lot of women
became sitting targets for corporations eager to expand their
profit base at their expense.

Corporations know, all they have to do is offer women the

hope of happiness by purchasing their product; and large
numbers of women have bought into this illusion.

Image: Vintage Advertisement promoting that its better to SPEND money on

clothing than to SAVE money in the bank. In other words, spend recklessly!

58 | P a g e
Women have become ultra-mass consumers. In fact, they
are the largest group of consumers in America today. And
this is exactly what manufacturers hoped to accomplish.
Furthermore, it's precisely what the federal government
hoped for as well.

**And if you don't think the government and big business

work in tandem, might I suggest reading a series of books
titled Who's Running America by Thomas Dye. They're
expensive books, but highly informative about just how
interlinked government and corporations really are. **

With both men and women out working, that's two separate
incomes to tax, thus feeding more tax money into
government coffers. Marriage is frowned upon today partly
because it's not economically viable for the companies that
sell women so much unnecessary stuff.

Think about the sheer volume of worthless junk and snake-

oil that gets sold to women on a continuous basis. How many
beauty products or make-up kits must she buy before she
realizes that none of them are actually making her more
beautiful? Real beauty can only come from within. Women
tend to be purchasers of dreams. Hence why selling hopes
and dreams of an elusive beauty is a $50 BILLION DOLLAR a
year industry in the U.S. alone, with Asia running a close
second.

HERE'S THE GAME IN A NUTSHELL:

(1) Convince women to abandon their natural roles as wives

and mothers.

(2) Convince them to pursue masculine forms of ambition

and accomplishments.

59 | P a g e
(3) Being unable to self-actualize at the core level of their
femininity by following their created natural design, this will
lead to a void being created in the hearts of mass numbers of
women; women free from the constraints of having a man
around to tell them how to spend the money they now earn.

(4) Left in such a liberated state, she becomes vulnerable

for pushers of products that promise to fill the aching void
within her; one that can only be satisfied by her returning to
her natural roles as wife, mother, and nurturer.

Image: Vintage Advertisement for the Working Woman; no time for making
breakfast for her family, so she feeds them a new cereal product.

It was a master plan, and it worked like a charm.

People are quick to proclaim that its a new day for women.
But if the new day isn't working, how long should we
continue on the same path before we decide to course
correct?

60 | P a g e
WOMEN WHOVE BEEN 'LIBERATED' FROM MEN are the
leading cause of this current trend in single motherhood:

Single motherhood is a leading cause of poverty.

Poverty and single motherhood are the leading causes

of creating tomorrow's juvenile delinquents, who
grow up and become tomorrow's prison inmates.

And all of this helps to feed more money into local

governments and the prison industrial complex.

When women became 'liberated' from men, the divorce

rates skyrocketed overnight. So much so that today its
estimated that 47% of white women who are married will
get divorced, and 70% of black women's first marriage will
end in divorce. Again, this is not by accident but by specific
design.

Many African American women are particularly vulnerable to

this insidious plot. Having a history of being played against
the African American Man as it isshe becomes blinded by
her desire to exist at the level she observes her white lady
neighbors living atand begins to secretly despise her own
man for not being able to display the type of power she
fancies her neighbor's white man to have.

Many of todays liberated black women fail to see many

things:

She fails to see the plot where the local learning

curriculum in school is geared towards educating the
girls in the classroom at the expense of the boys.

She fails to observe how black boys are 3 times more

likely to be labeled as learning disabled than black

61 | P a g e
 girls are; a label that virtually sentences any child to a
life of an underachiever.

She fails to realize that because of the way the

educational system is set upunless a black boy is
exceptional enough at sports to gain a scholarship to
collegehis chances of going to one is greatly
diminished by the fact he's been wrongfully labeled as
learning disabled in his younger years, and prescribed
a regimen of psychotropic drugs to bring into
equilibrium some imagined chemical imbalance in his
brain.

But her path to college is laid before her virtually

unobstructed; that is if she can escape the trappings of teen
pregnancy, alcoholism and drug experimentation. Even if she
messes up in her youth and ends up on welfare as a teen
mother, there are plenty of programs available to ensure she
has access to a higher education and better job skills.

But these same benefits are simply not available for young
black men who mess up in their youths. They're doomed to a
life of poverty which will inevitably lead to a life of rotation
in and out of the prison system, further putting the nails in
the coffin and sealing their fate. And when it comes to
getting a decent job in America, the black sister with the
college degree is twice as likely to get the job over the
college-educated brother of equal skill set. Simply because of
the subconscious fear still held by many white Americans of
an empowered African American male in their midst.

And using the excuse of not being able to find black men of
equal economic and educational stature to enter into
meaningful relationships with, many black women create a
false aura of being above and out of reach of the typical

62 | P a g e
black male, who she really looks down on and secretly
despises.

This leaves her especially open to being exploited by the

capitalistic interests of corporate and business interests.

Never sleep on the fact that America is a capitalist nation

founded by capitalists for the sole purpose of making money.
Hence why slavery and genocide were tolerated by people
who called themselves Christians.

Image: Vintage Ad promoting women to rebel against the sexual norm.

63 | P a g e
The chief goal of capitalism is to make money. And usually
the ends justify the means. So if a capitalist can socially
engineer society by placing a wedge between man and
woman, convincing the women to abandon their traditional
roles they've held since mankind first walked out of the ice
age, and do so as a means of increasing their profit
base...theyll do it.

Plain and simple. And the end goal of making greater profits
justifies destroying the solid family structure instituted by
God.

And I submit to you that is exactly what has happened in

America today, and is soon to arrive on the shores of nations
around the world.

I know many women reading this will retort with the usual
'not ALL, but SOME.' I feel you...hopefully I made that clear.
But I dare to say MOST, not ALL women in our society fall in
this category. And that alone is enough for alarm.

Its not the things that a woman can buy; or the education
that the woman has attained; or even the career the woman
has been able to have; BUT the woman herself (without
those things) is what attracts the right man to her.

So I ask you, are you attractive without your things, trinkets

or degrees?

64 | P a g e
26 | BACK IN THE DAY

When I was in school, the girls would go to Home Economics

class. They were taught how to cook, clean, plan meals, care
for the home front.

Some overzealous feminist group got rid of Home Economics

class. Now instead we have daycare centers in our schools to
help care for all those babies born to teen and pre-teen
student mothers. They don't know the first thing about
raising a baby so their own mothers have to do it. They can't
cook nor clean, and think the sum totality of their worth is
the ability to accumulate a bunch of views and likes for their
latest Twerk video.

The guys when I was growing up would go to Shop and

Woodworking class, where we were taught the trades as a
viable career path after graduation.

Again: somebody thought Shop and Woodworking class was

bad for the boys and took that away. Now kids are dropping
out of high school to become rappers, producers or the next
Tony Montana wannabe kingpin; all of which are long shot
goals. When they could go into a trade and secure for
themselves a high paying solid career.

65 | P a g e
When I was younger, if you were disruptive to the class the
teacher would send you to the office, where the school
disciplinarian would bend you over and paddle that behind
into compliance. You returned to class and behaved like a
born again angel. But some 'concerned' parent thought a
paddling was harmful to a child's self-esteem; so they threw
that out the window too. Now you have students sucker
punching teachers, hitting them with chairs and school
books, beating the tar out each other; and your kid can
hardly learn anything from all the unchecked disruption
going on around them.

I'm just thinking back over the way things used to be.
Wishing in many ways we could go back.

BECAUSE WHEN THINGS WERE HOW THEY USED TO BE, we

had solid families, happy women and fulfilled men. Children
were raised in 2 parent homes. Children were raised to be
marriage-minded. And no one dared utter, I can do bad all
by myself. Women were loved, and men were respected.

There was never a shortage of quality men, and women had

many suitors (men who wanted to marry her).

Dating was simpler back then. If a guy was interested in

being with a young lady, he courted her. And that usually
meant going over to her house and meeting with her father
for approval to date his daughter. If for whatever reason the
father didnt like what he saw or felt in the interested young
man, there was no courting his daughter. Plain and simple.

That system worked perfectly because it was understood

that a young teenaged girl or young woman lacked the life
experience to know what was in her own best interest. This
is what having a good dad at home provided: a sense of
protection and covering over a young womans life. Now we

66 | P a g e
have so many absentee dads that a young lady often has to
learn through trial and error, how to choose the best man for
her. Or she learns from watching her own mothers mistakes.
Sometimes with devastating consequences.

I tried to make this book something of a guide book for those

of you who may have grown up lacking the presence of
manly wisdom in the home. You should use it as such.

The things I write in here are exactly what I tell to my own

sisters and relatives.

I know we cant bring back the past. But we can revisit the
wisdom from a bygone era, and bring that wisdom forward
into the present.

Stop gravitating to teachers and people who only wish to sell

you on behaviors and activities that will only further alienate
you from the happiness and joy that is your natural
birthright.

Reject anyone who treats the wisdom of our ancestors like

foolishness.

Quit running after a new thing, and run back to the old
things that use to work and keep us protected from
destroying and wasting lives.

We already have the answers to our dilemma. We just fail to

tap into them.

67 | P a g e
27 | IT TAKES TWO
The family without a father in the home is no family at all.
It's a broken family. And a broken family is about as good as
a broken car or broken cellphone.

Too many women have fallen for the lie, believing they can
have a successful family alone. So they willingly bring
children into the world with men they aren't married to. Or,
they use their children as a bargaining chip or weapon
against the father when their relationship goes sourto the
hurt of the children.

It took TWO parents to create the child, it will take TWO

parents to correctly raise it.

And until single-mothers understand this, the family as God

intended it to be will not be restored. Its up to women to be
more selective about the men they decide to have children
with; they owe it to their children to be more mature in their
dating and relationship behavior. Before the pregnancy, get
the marriage commitment first. Children shouldn't have to
suffer because of their parents poor choices.

And by all means, STOP thinking that having a child with a

man means he will commit to you. He probably won't. In
most instances he will commit to his child, but not you.
Commitment means marriage. Period.

68 | P a g e
28 | DOING THINGS YOUR
WAY INSTEAD OF GODS WAY:
SEX AND MARRIAGE
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage
bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will
judge. [Hebrews 13:4]

That scripture is clear that God will JUDGE...that dreaded

word folks hate to hear...both FORNICATORS AND
ADULTERERS.

While folks are screaming 'judge not,' we see the evidence of

that judgment every single day in the quality of lives people
are living when they choose to do things THEIR way instead
of God's.

We love the pleasure of our sin, but hate the inevitable

payout. That's like eating at a sumptuous restaurant,
ordering everything off the menu; and when the check
comes we don't want to pay it.

Why do we think all this nonsense is going on in our

communities today? Do you think it's by accident? This is
nothing short of God's judgment on our wayward, sinful
lifestyles. All that baby mama/daddy drama, high crime, low
employment, high incarceration, etc. is a direct result of
snubbing God's divine order, and doing what we want to do
instead. We are seeing the judgment of God play out right in
front of us. And even in the face of divine judgment, folks
STILL make excuses for living contrary to God's way. If that's
not the epitome of being stubborn...!

69 | P a g e
See, it's one thing to never have known the way of truth.
God might go a little easier on you in that case. But most of
us know better. We had godly grandparents and great-
grands stretching back 3 and 4 generations who raised us
with knowledge of God and morality. They taught us the
way. And for some reason our generation defiantly decided:
'To hell with that! Let's do our own thing!'

Well I ask you: how is that working for you? How is raising
those kids all by yourself working? Or all that crack, meth
and poverty, gun violence and incarceration? How does
being constantly LAST place feel as a community? Does it feel
good?

Black America especially is under divine judgment right now.

The evidence is clear as day when you study our situation
alongside biblical examples of divine judgment. Everything
from the yolk of oppression being on our necks to fatherless
homes: it's all clear evidence we have fallen under God's
judgment. Sometimes the only way forward is by going
backward. And this is one of those times. We need to go
back to what worked for us, instead of arguing for what's not
working. Nothing will change until we do. In fact, things will
get much worse if we don't.

I'm no special messenger from God. Not by a long shot. I'm

just observant enough to see what our plight is, and what it
takes to fix it. And maybe if I keep harping on these issues,
somebody might actually listen.

70 | P a g e
29 | MARRIAGE: GOD-
ORDAINED AND EMPOWERED
Marriage is a key component of amassing wealth in America.
Black folks currently lead the nation in unmarried
households. Black folks also lead the nation in poverty.
Hmm...doesn't take a Rhodes Scholar to figure out we need
to get serious about marriage again. But that can't happen
and won't happen until we have honest real talk about
relationships between black men and women.

My opinion: we are not inherently vile or messed up people.

I know it may seem that way on the surface. But never forget
that most of the dysfunction within the black community
was socially engineered into our community from outside of
the community. We didn't just wake up one day and decide
to not get married before having children. Or to sell drugs to
each other. Or to become world class twerkers on YouTube.

What you're seeing today is the fallout from several decades

of concerted efforts to socially condition black Americans
into a particular way of behaving. Behavior that then justifies
being treated as second-class citizens by the larger society
and the government. What's the solution? Simple. I always
say that the way back is sometimes the best way forward.
Meaning, we need to go back to what worked for us in the
past. Back when we were building Durhams and Black Wall
Streets in places like Tulsa Oklahoma and North Carolina.

At the turn of the last century when black folks had the least
amount of protection from hostile whites, we lived, worked
and got along with each other better than we do now. While
it's true that we gained some freedom since then, we lost
something in the process. We seemed to have traded our

71 | P a g e
self-autonomy and the collective will to thrive in exchange
for empty promises of access to the American dream.

But here's the thing: when we owned farms and land and
homes and businesses...we already HAD the so-called
American Dream! What we didn't have was acceptance from
Mister Charlie and Miss Ann. Ok, looking back: was it
worth it? Was it worth selling our children's future in
exchange for a proverbial pat on the head from the larger
society who still don't want you living next door or
intermingling with them too much?

And this by no means is to cast shade on all white folks.

Considering how some black folks carry themselves today: I
don't want to live next to some of us either! So moving
forward: it's time to revisit the ideas of marriage and
monogamy. I don't think most brothers fret marriage so
much as they fret marrying the kind of woman who can ruin
their lives if things don't go her way. For every woman who
can tell me stories about enduring physical abuse from some
guy, I can tell you about a good guy who was taken through
the ringer in divorce and child support court.

But it's time to move beyond our war stories and distrust,
and embrace a new hope and promise for a collective future
as husbands and wives. I'm opening up the dialogue between
the sexes on my website at: https://edendecoded.com

We need to talk. And we need to hear each other, not just

shout at and desire to only be heard. Everyone has pain, and
everyone's pain is real. Let's get past that, choose to forgive
and heal so we can embrace each other as companions once
again.

72 | P a g e
30 | IS YOUR CHURCH
PREPARING YOU FOR
MARRIAGE OR KEEPING YOU
SINGLE?

If you find yourself going somewhere for help, and you have
to keep coming back over and over again, without ever
getting any better, that's a clear indication that you are NOT
getting the help you need: I'm thinking church here.

If your church is only doing enough to provide you with a

temporary boost that helps you momentarily, but never
gives you enough to help you get free and stay free, that
church has become a crutch for you.

Think of it like this: if you have to continuously visit the

doctor for some 'magic' pill that never cures your condition,
but instead only helps you feel better until you need your
next fix, that doctor has now become your drug dealer. And
that by definition makes you an addict.

I'm curious how many Christian addicts we have sitting up in

churches across America every Sunday? Folks who've been

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coming year after year, yet never getting free, delivered or
loosed from whatever has been keeping them bound up.

This message won't be popular with many Pastors, but it

definitely needs to be said. For too many people, church has
become a sort of addiction.

Addiction by its very definition is: "A condition that results

when a person engages in an activity that can be pleasurable
but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and
interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work or
relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their
behavior is out of control and causing problems for
themselves and others." That's a description taken right from
Psychology Today's website.

Your church is either helping or hindering you.

Some of you can't hold down meaningful relationships with a

man because the church you're attending is purposely
designed to keep you dependent on the Pastor. He's become
your de facto man. And it's not necessarily in his best
financial interest for you to find yourself in a strong
meaningful relationship. Because a strong husband in your
life won't be so quick to jump up and get in that $1000
"Special Anointing" offering line at church. In fact, he'll be
looking at you like your head just rolled off your shoulders if
you jumped up there! And many pastors know this.

I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong with attending or

financially supporting church.

But I am suggesting there is something wrong when church

becomes your escape from reality, rather than an
empowering force to help you overcome your challenges and
live at the higher level of your calling in Jesus Christ.

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Too many pastors are content to have a bunch of Christian
addicts sitting in their midst. Mostly women who need their
weekly fix of religious uplifting. Enough to make them feel
good and keep coming back. But never enough to totally
liberate them from the controlling forces of the enemy.

I've never seen so many demonized, bound, church going

Christians in all my life! I'm just going to go ahead and say
this, call me judgmental if you want, whatever...I really don't
care. But how in the world can a homosexual come to the
same church week after week and feel completely
COMFORTABLE sitting in church; and NEVER feel convicted
enough to change their lifestyle? Even an outright Satanist
can see something's wrong with that church! But nobody
wants to state the obvious.

Im bringing these things up because if youre sitting in a

church thats highly dysfunctional, theres a very good
chance youre soaking up much of that dysfunctional energy.
And sooner or later its bound to manifest in your own
personal life.

People should never become addicted to their pastor. He's

not supposed to be your god. He's your spiritual director
whose main job is to direct you to the Eternal Waters of Life,
where your soul may drink and find refreshing from sin.
Sounds kinda deep, but it really isn't. It's the basic definition
of what a pastor's role is.

The same also applies to these prophets/prophetesses

running around charging money for a prophetic utterance.
We have a word for that where I come from: it's called a
FRAUD! A better term would be witchcraft.

Many of you would be shocked to find out your favorite

prophetess was really a witch using a familiar spirit to tell

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you personal things about yourself. Just because she can
scream like a Baptist preacher in Georgia heat and sweat like
one too, doesn't mean she's not an undercover dark arts
dabbler. Why do you think you have to keep coming back
over and over again for her help? People schooled in voodoo
understand exactly what I'm talking about.

There are certain spells that can be used that will make
people come back over and over again, bringing money of
course, just to get the help they need. The victim becomes
trapped in a vicious cycle as they become addicted to that
prophetess, and must continue to bring money to her in
order to get the help they seek.

Just ask yourself this: Why don't they ever tell you one good
'word from the Lord' that will totally liberate you from ever
needing to come to them again for another 'word?'

Not trying to stir up too much dust, just giving you

something to think about.

The name of Jesus is ridiculed in society today because of

shysters who do the dirtiest deeds in His name. It's time to
start exposing that mess!

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31 | BEWARE OF THE COOKIE
MONSTER!
I hate to include this chapter in this book, but its truly
something you have to be aware of. Beware of women
around you pretending to be spiritual, pretending to love
God, but who are secretly out fishing for their next lesbian-
bisexual encounter. They are more numerous than you
think!

They use spirituality and the cover of a Christian facade to

lure unsuspecting victims into their web. And like any good
spider will do, when they sufficiently have you hooked on
the line, they'll spring their trap and go in for the kill.

Their goal is to hook up with yousexually speakingnot to

build with you on spiritual matters.

And don't let the fact that they are married or have kids fool
you either. Lipstick lesbians are more common in churches
today than ever before. They're hiding on the praise team,
on the usher board, in women's ministry: and some even
preach from the pulpit.

The present light fluffy abomination of the gospel being

preached today as 'cheap grace' has created an environment
ripe for closet homosexuals to flourish in. And many of them
come to church, not seeking to pray their way through to
deliverance: they're seeking their next prey to victimize
instead.

Don't let it be YOU! Use discernment. Get serious about your

walk with Christ. And allow the Holy Spirit to do a CLEAN
WORK in your life. Do this, and God will give you the ability
to spot those who are out to steal your "cookies."

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32 | SURFACE LEVEL
CHRISTIANITY

If you only wear your Christianity as a label like its some

type of lucky charm: you are NOT a true Christian yet! You
know the type: only attend church on New Year's Eve
because they think it'll absolve them of all sins committed
the previous year and the year upcoming. The kind who wear
crosses around their necks while making porn flicks, or who
get crosses and other religious images tatted on their bodies
while stripping or living all types of ratchet lifestyles. The
type who talk Christianity in public but live like Satanists in
private. Or who quote Bible verses on social media one
minute, and profanity-laced rants the next.

If your Christianity only goes surface deep: that ain't true

Christianity! You need to go back to your church and get a
refund. You got gypped!

If you're still the same mean bitter person you've always

been, do you really think you're impressing Jesus by going to
church and shouting amen to His word? I think he'll be more
impressed when you've allowed His word to actually
penetrate your stony heart.

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True Christianity is heartfelt and lived from within. Doesn't
matter how much word you know. It matters more how
much word you live. It's not about being flawless. As long as
you're alive whether saint or sinner, you'll always have some
goofy issue in the flesh to contend with that's not in full
alignment with God's ultimate best. But we should all be
striving as believers to be our best every day.

Too many of us so-called Christians give Christ a black-eye by

the way we live. It's time out for faking and fronting. If you're
not going to live by the teachings of Jesus Christ: DON'T CALL
YOURSELF A CHRISTIAN. It's really just that simple.

Call yourself "spiritual" like many of you already do anyway.

At least you won't be fooling yourself. Better yet, call
yourself a Wishtian. Or instead of a believer call yourself a
deceiver. Because that's what some of you really are.

My Chicago homies who rolled with the GD's (Gangster

Disciples) street gang call it false flagging. If you get
approached on the street and claim to be a GD when you're
really not, those dudes would stomp you to the curb just for
lying.

Consider this message your curb-stomping. If you're a

Christian, it's time to get serious about your walk. No more
half-stepping. Either be in it to win it, or don't fool with it at
all.

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33 | SEXY BY DEFINITION

Sexy derives from the word SEX. Which means: a 'sexy'

woman by definition is one who men (and/or women) want
to have sex with.

There's no two ways about it. You can't divorce the word
sexy from the word sex.

So if sexiness is all you bring to the table, even if it's your

leading thing: you're basically telling men that you're only
good for a cheap lay. And after the lay is over, 9 times out of
10 so will his interest be in you.

You're worth more than the sum parts of your vagina and
your backside ladies. A whole lot more. But if YOU don't see
it, how can you expect us to?

Not passing any judgment. Just giving you something to think

about.

Because sexiness leads to SEX. Sex outside of marriage is

fornication. And fornication is a sin we know that God hates,
but many in the Church secretly (and boldly) love.

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34 | SOME CALL IT SLUTTY
You cannot be slutty on one hand, and still be looked at with
respect on the other. You have to choose: slutty...or respect.

Now slutty can be a hard term to define, so for the sake of

simplicity, let's create a few working definitions.

(Definition #1): If I can see the shape of your vagina through

your pants or shorts...that's a tad bit slutty I'd say. Punny
printers are a definite one-way ticket to Slutsville.

(Definition #2): If you wear pants that look like pantyhose,

dresses that look like a fourth layer of skin, or booty shorts
that are big on booty, short on shorts...that's a bit slutty too.

(Definition #3): And if you have half naked or nude pictures

of yourself displayed on any social networking site...you have
officially sent a signal to all men watching that you are ready
and willing to be used for bedroom gymnastics.

Let no man deceive you with his sweet talk and glowing
compliments: the end goal for any man trying to kick game
to you under these circumstances is to hit it. Not to commit
it. Get it? We could go on, but by now you get the point. If
you want respect from guys, you have to carry yourself like
you deserve it. Respect is always EARNED first. Never forget
that.

I'm sure some women will have a conniption reading this.

Especially those who feel like they have to rely on looking
slutty in order to gain a man's attention. But all attention
ain't good attention. While you may be bombarded with
bulging eyes; you'll be repelling honor and respect from the
marrying type of men. Which leaves you trapped in a vicious
cycle of frustration.

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35 | HE ALREADY SIZED YOU UP

Ladies, here's how most men think: When we first meet you,
we've pretty much sized you up already sexually. Any man
who say's otherwise is either a blind mute, or simply not
honest. Lets just keep it real. That's right: this also includes
SAVED CHRISTIAN men.

What: you don't think they have sexual desires anymore

because they gave their hearts to Jesus? Of course they do!
God saves souls. He doesn't turn men into eunuchs!

Next we decide how much trouble we're willing to endure

just to get to the sweet center of your Tootsie pop. The
thirstier the dude depends on how quickly he'll try to hit and
split. And don't give me that line about all men aren't like
that: of course there are always variations with anything. But
again, lets be real for a change and stop putting on fronts.

Even Adam, when he first laid eyes on Eve, his first words
were: 'FLESH OF MY FLESH!' Its right there in the book of
Genesis. Read it yourself. In other words, the first thing he
noticed about Eve was that fine body. That's just what we
men do.

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Now what happens at this point ladies, is crucial. Because
the next series of moves depends totally on you.

IF YOU PRESENT YOURSELF AS THAT EASY LAY, he'll put you

in the jump-off category. At least nine times out of ten.
There's always that rare exception when a quick hit turns
into a committed relationship. But that's the extreme rare
exception, not the norm. So its not your best move to try.

IF YOU PRESENT YOURSELF AS SOMEONE TO BE TAKEN

SERIOUSLY, with true respect of character, and carry yourself
like a woman who would never accept jump-off status; that
man will know to either put his libido in check, or step
completely off.

We look at women basically as two types: you're either

Claire Huxtable, or Nicki Minaj. There really is no middle
ground.

Claire Huxtable is that woman we see who makes us think

'Now thats wife material right there! She might get a
brother to change his whole life!'

Nicki Minaj on the other hand, is the one we look at, bite our
bottom lip and say 'I'd like to hit that six ways from Sunday!'

See the difference? Most women think having the Nicki

Minaj reaction is empowering. But really its not. That just
means you make a suitable pillow biter; and not necessarily
anything more. You really want to reach for the Claire
Huxtable effect on men.

To be sized up as godly be sure to not look like the women

God warns his sons to avoid.

83 | P a g e
36 | DARE TO BE DIFFERENT

Ladies: if you want to stand out from the pack, don't be like
the pack! In other words: dare to be different. With that
thought in mind: Why do so many of you pattern your look
off of another woman's look? Stop following trends. It makes
you look like a follower. Which basically makes you invisible
to all the men out there who are watching.

Stop competing based on looks alone. That's a game you

cannot win because there will always be someone else out
there with a bigger booty, tighter body or cuter face than
yours.

Instead, be your own unique person. From the inside out.

Establish your own unique look that suits your style, taste
and qualities. If everyone else is dressing half naked, be the
one who covers up. The other women might get more
attention; but you'll get the right kind of attention.

And for the love of mercy: please take those superfluous

dangling yaki skullcaps off your head! If you can't afford to
get your weave done right, just don't get one at all. Go
natural or something. There's nothing worse than a woman
with a jacked up weave, trying to keep up with the joneses.
Definitely not a good look.

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Let me help you with some bonus advice too ladies: most
men don't really care too much what your hair looks like.
Just so long as you got some and it's yours! (Chemo patients
are of course a different story. But even still, many of them
look better WITHOUT hair than many of you do with all that
tacky yaki in yours!)

Granted there are some guys who prefer Beyonc hair types.
But guess what: those men usually want Beyonc. So you'll
always be a cheap substitute if you're trying to look like
some celebrity who rocks a weave or extensions.

The bible hit it right when it said that a woman's inner

adornment was worth far more than her outer appearance.
[1 Peter 3:3-4]

SO HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THE BEAUTY RAT RACE? It's

simple: the way to get out is to go within. Stop looking for
shortcuts to beauty. There are none. Not Spanx, eyeliner,
fake hair. None of it compensates for an inner beauty that is
uniquely yours. Work more on putting something inside your
head, instead of just on it. Then you'll truly stand out from
the pack.

Now, that doesn't negate the necessity for some of you to hit
up the gym or to keep yourselves nice and toned. But do it
for you, not for the public.

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37 | FAKE VERSION OF THE
REAL YOU
Ok ladies: The weaves and extensions, I'll give you that one.
Even though I wish you wouldn't. But if yaki #5 is your
thing... whatever, do you.

I was even willing to give y'all a pass with the Spanx and
booty-shaping jeans. I understand that some of you were
shaped funny like SpongeBob Square Pants and Grimace
from McDonalds. So a little body shaping the LAZY way via
Spanx was in order.

BUT whats up with all this skin-lightening madness I see

taking place...especially among African women? Are you
trying to get revenge on white folks for all those black face
minstrel shows from back in the day? No black man in his
right mind would seriously date or marry a black woman who
has a secret desire to be white. Nor would any white man, if
he has any sense. And don't give me any excuse like 'Well
that's what black men want!' Er, no we don't! If you don't
love the REAL skin you're in, don't expect us to either!

Ladies, nobody wants a fake version of the real you. Most

black men statistically prefer dating sisters. But those who
prefer dating white women usually want just that: a WHITE
woman. Not a white-looking black woman! Even white men
who typically date black women seem to prefer the type of
sister who looks more naturally ethnic. So who exactly is this
skin whitening stuff for?

I'll tell you who: insecure black women who've strayed so far
from godly common sense, they'll resort to doing things like
lightening their skin just for attention. Shame, shame,
shame! Colorism is a serious issue.

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38 | GOD WONT BLESS YOUR
MESS

You cannot attract what you are not. Why do you deserve a
man after God's own heart, if you're a woman who's not
after God's own heart? Why do you deserve a virtuous man
if you're not a Proverbs 31 virtuous woman?

We tend to fool ourselves into thinking we deserve better

than what we're willing to put out.

Your life is a seed. Your mentality and lifestyle are also seeds.
The results you have are in direct correlation to the way
you've been thinking and living your life. Your results are
your own life personified and fleshed out in living 3-D color.
You're basically sleeping in the bed you made for yourself to
lay in. Another reason why many of you keep striking out in
relationships is because you haven't taken your walk with
God seriously. You live dual lifestyles. That's why you keep
getting dual results.

You can't expect God to bless your mess! Yet people do this
all the time.

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That relationship that was born through fornication and lust:
what makes you think God is obligated to bless that? It's a
relationship that was in clear violation of His word. Yet many
self-proclaimed Christian folk will proudly flaunt their
rebellious lifestyles in God's face. Then wonder why that
relationship blows up in their face. Again: God is under no
obligation to bless your mess!

If we want God's blessings, we have to do things God's way.

Doing it any other way gets you what you've been getting.
And if you don't like what you've been getting, maybe it's
time to make a change. If you want a 'saved, godly, Christ-led
man,' then ladies: YOU need to be a saved, godly, Christ-led
woman! It's just that simple.

And to the fellas who may be reading this: if you desire a

woman of integrity, then you have to be a man of integrity.
You can't want a faithful wife if you're out there sneaking
around watching online porn, or flirting with different
women on social media sites. If you wouldn't want your lady
to catch you doing it, then you shouldn't be doing it! Period.
We over-complicate the simple things. But it's the simple
truths we've strayed from that pack the biggest life-changing
punch. It's time for us to get back to the basics.

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39 | SEARCHING FOR A
NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK
As for the term virtuous, it literally means: "having or
showing high moral standards." Note the term HIGH moral
standards.

Who can FIND a virtuous woman? for her price is far above
rubies. [Proverbs 31:10]

A godly man does indeed value a virtuous woman. The

problem is that there is a dearth of truly virtuous women out
there to be found!

Hence why that verse starts off asking: Who can FIND one.
That word 'find' indicates an intense search. Which
underscores the fact that godly men who want to get
married have to undergo an intense search for GOOD wife
material.

Women who parrot these verses about virtuous womanhood

often make it seem like men are just passing by all these
good potential wives in favor of loose women. When the
reality is that finding a woman who is worthy of a lifelong
commitment from a godly man is like searching for a
proverbial needle in a haystack.

There are far too many self-inflated women out there with
fake big egos who think they are virtuous, but they're
nowhere near being the real deal.

Many of these women claiming to be virtuous want the

experience of getting married so they can be the envy of
their female family members and friends; as in a big fancy
wedding where they get to indulge in a moment of pure

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unbridled narcissism and attention-seeking. (The bridezilla
syndrome)

Others want the validation that comes from a man wanting

them for his own. (The 'please validate me' syndrome)

And others like to play the game of 'chase and commit' with
various different men. (The 'make my life exciting' syndrome)

Some of these women marry a guy just to dump him a year

or two later for their old college flames. And some want
husbands to hide the fact that they're really sexually
addicted to other women's bodies.

(I call this type of unsuspecting husband a 'skirt.' A skirt is a

guy that a bisexual woman marries just to cover up her
bisexuality. He gives her the convenient cover she needs in
order to hide her secret lesbian fetish without being noticed.)

And just to be clear: we're talking about CHURCH GOING SO-

CALLED VIRTUOUS CHRISTIAN WOMEN here!

There are various different reasons why women who claim

to be godly and virtuous don't attract men who are seeking
the same. One good reason is that a lot of these women are
simply frauds!

Then they get upset as good men continue to pass them over
in favor of different women or no women at all. It's really
hard out here for a godly man to find himself a godly wife!

Here's the deal: God honors honesty. And Godly attracts

Godly.

So if the godly in you doesn't attract the godly he's seeking,

maybe something about your 'godly' is completely off. Let
that one marinate.

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40 | YOU ARE NOT THAT
DIFFICULT
You should never have to dumb yourself down just to be
with someone.

A person who's good for you won't require a lesser version

of who you are. They'll support you in being the highest
version of yourself possible.

If you find yourself pretending to be less smart than you

really are, or hiding your spiritual or intellectual side because
you know they are not really on the same level, maybe
you're not with the right person after all.

Not only that, but if you're not being who you really are,
you're actually shortchanging them by being deceptive. And
that's not fair to either of you.

If he tries to get you to read less, avoid church or dress more

skank just to suit his taste, is that really the guy you want to
give your heart and soul to? Is that the guy whose children
you want to bring into the world some day?

Remember: Love doesn't require you to be less. It always

pushes you to be your best. Think about it.

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41 | ENTICE A MAN THE RIGHT
WAY
Instead of enticing a guy sexually, learn to use your feminine
powers to gently lure him into a full on commitment.

Too many women seem to think the only power they have to
be alluring is as it relates to sex. Which is why the
community today is overrun with women poking out their
butts, puckering their lips and lifting their bosom in an
attempt to look sexually appealing to men.

If youre only using your feminine wiles to hook a man with

sex, youre totally misusing your female abilities. Youre
going the easy and lazy route. I call it the lottery mentality.
You ever watch folks who have a lottery mentality? Theyll
spend every spare dollar they can muster trying to hit the
lottery, searching for a quick come-up. They know its a
numbers and luck game; but that never diminishes their
hope of being the lucky one whose number finally gets
pulled. Its sad to see, because had they simply invested the
same amount spent on lottery tickets into an interest
bearing CD at the local bank for a few years, theyd find their
lottery right there, through frugal investment.

Women often approach finding men the same way. They

keep throwing their bodies at different guys, hoping to
eventually hit the man lottery by catching a winner. These
ladies know its a numbers and luck game. But in this era of
super strains of STDs and HIV on steroids, do you really want
to play craps with your physical well-being? What happens
when you crap out by catching herpes, genital warts or
worse: HIV?

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Stop playing the lottery with your body ladies! Be wiser than
that.

Let the lazy women and the ones looking for the quick come-
up use their bodies over and over again with one guy after
another. But dont let that be your story. If that is your story
though, it doesnt have to stay your story. Your story can
change. And it can change starting right now. Simply decide
to never sell yourself short again by sleeping with a man who
hasnt made a full-on commitment to make you his one and
only. Anything less than this and youll be selling yourself
short yet again.

NOW LETS GET INTO SOME WORDS OF WISDOM FOR A

MOMENT. Get out a pen and your notebook, and get ready
to take copious amounts of notes.

Im going to change the way you date from this day forward.

And if you apply what Im about to give you over the next
few pages, youll date wiser, stronger and much more
efficiently than ever before.

You ready? Then lets get started.

93 | P a g e
42 | QUIT BEING OPTIONAL TO A
MAN
When a man is serious and ready to handle serious business,
he signs a contract. Remember that: CONTRACT.

When he buys a car, he signs a contract.

When he buys a house, contract. When he gets a business

loan from the bank, contract.

When he has a baby he even signs the birth certificate: which

is a type of contract claiming hes the biological father.

And when he is serious about being with a certain woman:

he'll sign a MARRIAGE contract.

Each of those things represents the man's seriousness to a

commitment.

Anything a man is NOT willing to sign for, he's NOT serious

about it. And if he's not serious about it, it's optional to his
life.

Quit being optional to a man, and start being mandatory!

94 | P a g e
43 | SAY GOODBYE TO THE 90-
DAY RULE
Sorry, but that 90 Day Rule thing: it doesn't work! Let me tell
you why:

Everyone knows about the 90-Day Rule; so you ain't fooling

no man into waiting 90 days to have sex with you. And even
if you did: once he finds out that you used a 'trick' to get him
based on a book, hes going to feel like you played him. And
his resentment may cause him to want some revenge. Men
know how to get revenge against a woman in one way and
one way only: with another woman!

Another reason why the 90 day rule isn't effective: a man

can just as easily be out there swinging his penis like Tarzan,
banging other women out. All while waiting for that 90 day
period to be up so he can add you to his bevvy of prime
sexual delights too.

The last reason why it doesn't work is because it's based on

the assumption that all a man wants from you is sex. It
presupposes that he values sex with you over everything else
there is to know about you.

If you're dealing with a man like this who can easily be

manipulated by the hope of being able to sniff your panties
after a 90 day waiting period...will you really want him?
Where's the challenge at? What happens after you wait the
90 days just to find out he's wack in bed anyway?

Truth is, you don't need a 90 day rule. You need a NO SEX
UNTIL BONAFIDE COMMITMENT RULE! By then you'll both
be far too vested in the relationship to leave over something
as trivial as sex.

95 | P a g e
Commitment is what you're after ladies. That should be your
goal and end game. Not just the appearance of a temporary
commitment. And that's all the 90 day rule offers: the
illusion of commitment. But any man can easily break past
those 90 day filters if he's really up on game and smooth
enough to do it.

If you follow the advice I give in this ebook along with my

other ebooks, you won't need a 90 day rule. You'll firmly
hold the keys that will enable you to have guys eating from
the palm of your hands.

It's better to have the mindset and concrete commitment of

no sex at all until the guy in question has given you a clear
indication of exclusivity and a full on commitment. And yes,
that only means MARRIAGE.

If he hasnt changed your last name to his, you shouldn't be

sleeping with him!

And besides, God doesnt have a 90 day rule, He has a NO

fornication rule.

96 | P a g e
44 | SEARCHING FOR HER
BARACK
I hear a lot of women saying they want 'their Barack.' But are
you willing to be 'his Michelle?' Think about that for a
moment.

Michelle gave up her career and ambitions as an attorney,

and a very good one too, in order to support her husband's
career in politics. Keep in mind: she had no promise he
would ever become President of the United States when she
did this. But she believed in him enough to throw the full
weight and support of her talents and skills behind him. And
thats why she became the First Lady of the USA.

I also hear a lot of women saying they want 'Denzel' (as in

Denzel Washington). But before Denzel was Denzel, he was
just a struggling actor married to an already successful
actress named Pauletta. Yet she saw enough potential in him
to give up her own career and fully support her husband's
ambition to become successful in his. And that's why today
she has front row tickets to all the big award shows, a
humongous 30,000 square foot mansion in Hollywood to live
in, and she gets to have one of the most desired men on the
planet on her arm. I detect a pattern here.

Seems like the women who have what the rest of you claim
to want knew how to sacrifice personal goals and ambition
to get it. They truly believed in teamwork. And had enough
vision and foresight to see some spark of greatness in the
men they chose to marry; and equally enough confidence in
themselves to believe they could help coax that greatness
out of them. And that is where the true definition of a help
meet comes into play.

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45 | DEFINITION OF A
SOULMATE

A soulmate isn't just born. A soulmate is forged in the trials

and trenches of life. The one willing to go through hell and
back with you: that's your soulmate! Everyone else is just a
distraction!

Learn the difference between a possible soul mate and a

satanic assignment!

Many of you have been courting the assignment over the

promise. God promises to supply ALL your need according to
His riches in glory through Christ Jesus. [Philippians 4:19]

This means if you need a mate, God is more than capable of

supplying you with one. But you have to wait on God. He
doesn't move according to our schedule: God is a GOD! He
moves when He feels like it: not when you think He should!

Maybe He's delayed the arrival of your mate because He

wants you to first learn some discipline and obedience to His
Word.

Now there's a thought!

98 | P a g e
But rest assured that He will take care of those who put their
trust in Him.

Stop getting impatient and settling for just having someone.

This is why you find yourself doing all of the heavy lifting just
to make a relationship work; to the point where your soul
gets drained and misery becomes your constant companion.

Meanwhile the other person really couldn't care less.

You ever get so low that you feel like dying in a relationship?
This is because that other person was not a God assigned
mate. They're demonically assigned to slip into your life,
lower your defenses and completely derail your walk with
Christ.

The blessing of the Lord makes one rich: and He doesn't add
any sorrow to your life. [Proverbs 10:22]

This doesn't mean that a relationship won't have its

challenges. It most certainly will. But you must learn the
difference between someone sent from God, and someone
sent to turn you away from God.

**Here's a hint: if they lead you into sinful activity...GOD

DIDN'T SEND THEM!

Let patience mature you in hope and expectation: and God

will grant the desire of your heart in due season.

That's when the right person will come along and fight with
you (on the same team together): not against you.

99 | P a g e
46 | LOVE ME LIKE CHRIST
LOVES THE CHURCH
"A man should love his wife the way Christ loved the church."
I hear this a lot, mostly from church going ladies. But do we
REALLY take time to look at the kind of love Christ actually
has for the church?

Christ loved the church enough to bleed and die for its
creation. He loved the church enough to rescue her from the
grip of Satan. But He also loved the church enough to
empower her. And this empowerment comes from the
simple act of submission. He didn't leave the church here to
do whatever it wanted to do. Christ gave the church
COMMANDMENTS AND RULES TO LIVE BY.

Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the

ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will
love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of
them. [John 14:21 NLT]

Jesus doesn't demand an optional following. Christ demands

a complete and total selling out of one's own dreams, goals
and personal desires in favor of His.

Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my

follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your
cross daily, and follow me. [Luke 9:23]

Christ loves the church enough to demand nothing short of a

flaming hot passionate loyalty to Him and His cause. He
would never settle for or accept the lukewarm service some
try to mask as genuine affection. In fact, he stated that if
you're not either hot or cold towards him, he won't even
tolerate you. He'll simply vomit you from his mouth!

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So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will
spit you out of my mouth. [Revelation 3:16]

That's some serious MASCULINE love right there! We like to

talk about the scene where the woman was caught in
adultery and the religious leaders tried to use her
indiscretion to entrap Jesus. And we celebrate when Jesus
told them: "He that is without sin, let him cast the first
stone." [John 8:7]

We cheer as the woman's accusers all drop their stones,

turn around and walk away in verse 9. But how quickly we
forget the words that Christ spoke to the woman in the latter
half of verse 11: "...go your way and SIN NO MORE."

Somehow, I don't get the impression that was a request.

Christ loves the church enough to demand absolute and total

obedience to Him. And in return, he offers an abundant,
eternal, everlasting life. But its all conditional upon our
willingness to submit. So before you ask for that kind of love,
understand what you're really asking for, and be willing to
meet the conditions for what you say you want.

Christ is far from the softy or pushover many of you imagine

him to be.

Jesus will forgive you, but then He demands total

commitment from you; and that's NOT an option.

101 | P a g e
47 | ARE YOU READY FOR A
RELATIONSHIP?
Serious questions you need to consider:

(1) Are you willing and capable of being a follower? Real

men lead. They don't follow very well; especially when it
comes to allowing their lady to take the lead. A woman
seeking a strong, powerful man must first exhibit the
willingness and readiness to follow. Until you can cast down
the gauntlet of utter independence and take on the skill of
interdependence: you're not ready for a Godly relationship.

(2) Have you dealt with your past relationship demons? This
includes familial issues as well as former lovers. Many
women tend to bury their feelings, hurts and pains,
erroneously thinking that out of sight means out of mind. It
doesn't work like that. Feelings buried alive never die. They
simply go underground for a time, until the right situation or
circumstance signals their return.

(3) Have you forgiven your absent or abusive father? What

about that abusive ex-husband? Did you forgive the last guy
who cheated on you or broke your heart?

(4) Have you adequately repented for your unfaithfulness

and cheating in your past relationships? Have you dealt with
your wandering eye and sexual lust issues? All these things
have the potential to pop up again and create havoc in your
new relationship. So deal effectively with them NOW.

(5) Besides just your physical looks, what more do you bring
of value to a man's life? Be especially honest here. Sex
doesn't count! How do you add to a man's present situation?
What can you offer him that the next female cant? If you're

102 | P a g e
only focusing on physical attributes, you're playing a game
you can't win. There's a new top model turning 18 years old
every ten seconds somewhere near you. Looks alone won't
keep a man's interest. What else do you have to offer?

(6) If you were a man, would you want to be in a

relationship you? I know this may seem silly at first, but its a
great question to answer. Knowing yourself like you do,
would you trust yourself in a relationship? This is honesty
time ladies: where the rubber really meets the road. If your
own brother or teenage son met a female who thought the
same way you do, would you advise him to proceed or not?
If no, why not? Why then should a man trust YOU?

(7) Can you take instructions well? Now before you get all
indignant with me for asking, keep in mind the wedding
vows say: to honor and obey. To obey simply means to
surrender. It is a sign of total respect and trust in the person
you are surrendering to. In fact, if that question rubs you the
wrong way at all, you're really not ready for a solid, healthy
marriage yet. You still have unhealthy remnants of feminist
programming deeply locked in your subconscious thought
processes. Sorry to have to break it to you so
straightforwardly. But you need to deprogram yourself first.

(8) Do you need a man? If not, then you shouldn't be looking

for one. Relationships are a headache at times. They're not
all sweet and wonderful. They actually require committed
work and the deep sincere desire to stay together for the
long haul. If a man doesn't meet a fundamental actual NEED
in your life: why bother with one? You have to be honest
with yourself here. A lot of women have a false bravado and
hate to appear vulnerable to men. But if you're coming
across as too cavalier about having a relationship, don't be
surprised if men don't take you too seriously as relationship
material.

103 | P a g e
48 | BUILD ON TRUST
You can only have peace with someone who you trust. Trust
is a powerful form of energy. It has the ability to tap into
collective resources and multiply the power of the individual.
Trust is about teamwork. It's about knowing the person you
are trusting can hold up their end of the deal, just like you
can.

When we choose to trust someone we enter into a soul

covenant with them. We basically become one. Whether its
a business trust, relationship between two or more
individuals, or between human-kind and God. When you
trust God you are relying on His resources. You're telling Him
that He is trustworthy. He is reliable. He is worthy of your
trust and confidence. I think God likes that. Trusting is a vote
of confidence in someone. It's a very high honor placed on
the one to be trusted.

But trust also denotes a certain amount of vulnerability. One

must open their deepest self to the possibility of
disappointment when they make the choice to trust
someone. And that's where the problem comes into play. It's
scary to trust someone else. This also includes trusting in
God. It's scary to trust a God Force one cannot physically see.
But I've tried Him over my years of living, and I know He's a
rewarder of those who put their trust in Him. I've leaned on
God at times for absolute dependence when I couldn't lean
on anybody else, not even myself. And He came through like
a champ. Over the years it has built my confidence and trust
in Him.

Side-note: Some people have a problem trusting in a God

they cannot see. Yet they do it all the time without even
realizing it. Never in recorded history has oxygen ever ceased

104 | P a g e
flowing globally. Think about it. We rely on the oxygen
system to operate moment by moment, supplying us with air
to breathe, without a care or worry if our next breath will
even be available to suck in. We don't question how the
system works or who controls it. We just trust it to.

That's how easy it is to trust in God. It's as simple as

breathing. If you can breathe, you can trust God too.

This is how trust is built in relationships. Trust begins as a

choice and an act of faith. As the person proves to be
trustworthy over time, more confidence can be given to
them. You can start to relax more into the person. Even
developing a certain amount of blind confidence in them.

But all it takes is just one moment of distrust to undo

everything it took to build up that confidence. Betrayal is
probably the greatest sin one can commit against another.
One rarely ever sees it coming. It requires the other person
to totally gain your trust before the betrayal can take place.

If you've ever suffered betrayal in your life, forgiveness is the

only cure for it. You have to forgive the traitor and the
victim: yourself. Or else you'll never be able to trust again.
You'll stifle yourself and live behind an illusion of safety by
not trusting anyone else. You'll cease to grow. And anything
that's no longer growing has already started dying.

Forgiveness is resurrection power! It grants new life to parts

of the wounded soul that are dead. It's more than a feeling:
forgiveness is a choice. It too is also an act of faith. You have
to choose first to forgive before the feeling actually kicks into
place. But once the decision to forgive has been made,
cosmic forces set in motion healing and total restoration.
And youll experience the freedom to live a truly abundant
existence.

105 | P a g e
49 | ALL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE
SOME DRAMA
In case you havent figured this one out by now, allow me to
let you in on a little secret:

There is no such thing as a 100% drama-free relationship or

person. No two people or relationship is perfect. Everyone
has some little twist or hiccup in their personality that will
bother, annoy or bug the heck out of the next person.

So if you're waiting for yourself to become perfect or to

meet the perfect person, you're going to be waiting a long
time. You might have to wait to meet that person in eternity.
We call Him God! Everyone else has drama, issues and
baggage.

No one is exempt; I don't care how handsome he is, or how

well they appear to have it together. The trick is to find
someone whose drama and baggage you can live with, and
work on building something solid and long-term with them in
spite of.

So many people seem to be looking for the flawless in

others, when really they're just afraid of failing at another
relationship.

How long do you think it realistically takes to rebound from a

failed relationship? Some of you have been waiting for years!
If you don't have yourself together by now, obviously either
you're too flawed or too scared to move forward with your
life. I'm leaning more towards youre being too scared.

I call it pricing yourself purposely out of the market. Setting

standards so ridiculously high you know no one else can

106 | P a g e
realistically measure up. Then you can use that as an excuse
for hiding your own faults and deficiencies behind "I can't
find anyone who measures up to my high standards." That's
because that person doesn't exist. And you know it.

Instead of seeking perfection in yourself or in others, accept

the fact you will always have some goofy hang-up to contend
with in your own life, as will everyone else.

We're not here to be perfect, we're here to learn to live and

grow in spite of our imperfections; and very often because of
them. That's where relationship freedom can be found. And
it's a lot less burdensome than putting on some act you can't
live up to anyway.

We still tend to approach the subject of relationships with

the 'men are basically bad, women are basically good'
mentality. And that's a very childish, skewed and highly
erroneous perspective.

The reality is: there are just as many bad women out there
who should be avoided at all cost, as there are men. Why do
you think so many guys are hesitant to marry and commit
these days? Men aren't born unwilling to commit.

There's no such thing as a player gene or a player virus one

can catch. Men are taught how to be this way. And they're
usually taught by women!

It's highly dismissive of what men go through to assume all

we want is sex. Truth is: we crave companionship too. We
want love just like you do! But also like you, many of us have
been wounded and done wrong by the opposite sex. Many
guys are walking around today wounded, heart-broken and
literally afraid to love again. Men get scared too sometimes.
We just hide our fears better.

107 | P a g e
You don't realize the power you have when a man gives you
his heart. That's like being in control of thermo-nuclear
power! It can provide massive amounts of power for you if
treated properly. But mishandled, it can have devastating
consequences for years to come.

Whenever you find some guy who's settled for the life of
being a player, dig deep enough and you'll find some woman
in his past who betrayed his trust and broke his heart.

For a single marriage-minded man, it's no joke out there. A

lot of guys simply give up finding her. Too much hurt,
frustration and disappointment leads to settling for being
players. Many guys start reasoning within themselves: "At
least sex will help take the edge off the loneliness."

You might think this is men just being he-motional, whiny,

weak and too much into our feelings. Which just goes to
illustrate how little such women truly know about men. Im
just sharing a very candid moment with you about how lots
of guys out there think. We have feelings too! And nothing
can turn a man's heart into stony ice like having his feelings
trampled on by the very ones who should know better.

Provide a safe haven for a man. Become someone his heart

can safely trust in. That's all part of being that Proverbs 31
virtuous woman many of you like to compare yourself to.

Minimize the drama in his life by becoming his personal

resort, where he can escape from the chaos all around him.

Want to win a man's heart and keep it? Its simple; and it
wont require a longer new hair weave, Michael Kors bag or
butt injections. It's as easy as this:

Just be the one who makes his life drama-free. Multiply his
peace and you win his heart. Yes: it's really just THAT simple!

108 | P a g e
50 | STOP SABOTAGING
YOURSELF
I see this all the time. I've even been a victim of it a time or
two. Usually women who are already winning tend to do
this. And they end up sabotaging themselves and their
relationship by doing things to drive a man off.

Ladies, hear me, and please hear me good: you have to stop
being your own stumbling-block in life! I was counseling a
woman not too long ago. There was a particular guy showing
her extreme interest. He seemed straight. Decent looking.
Manly (which I always advise women to go for a manly-type
of guy). Had a great career and great income. And he was
showing deep interest in this young lady. But for some
reason, she kept blowing him off.

What made it worse was that she was blowing him off in
favor of guys who clearly weren't half the man he was. You
know the type: Terrence Howard curly-haired-playboy
looking dudes. Or bike riding tatted up pseudo-thugs. When
she came to me for counseling, it was actually over one of
those playboy types. And through a process of asking
questions, I found out about the other man who was
obviously the more suitable choice.

As I dug deeper, it became painfully clear that this young

lady was really suffering from chronic self-sabotage. Basically
she was so use to failing at relationships, she no longer put
forth any real effort to build one with someone worth
building with. Her fear of not knowing how to date up to a
man of a higher level, was causing her to subconsciously date
down instead. Then, once those relationships ended, which

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they inevitably did, her mantra about not being able to find a
man on her own level became a self-fulfilling prophesy.

I challenged her on my observation. After a few moments of

denial, she dropped her head and admitted rather
sheepishly: 'You're right. I am scared of dating a more quality
man.' As I pressed her more, she went on to confirm that she
was afraid of getting her hopes up just to have them dashed
on the rocksshould things not work out.

The problem with that way of thinking is: the longer she
continued to date down with guys who were not on her level,
the more she felt like an even greater failure when those
relationships didn't work out either. That's how women end
up in a dating funk and eventually start to believe that
something must be severely wrong with them. Or they'll go
in the opposite extreme and fancy themselves to be a
goddess from another planet who's too divine to be touched
or understood by mere mortal men.

This is why I always stress being real with yourself. You have
to understand why you make the choices that you do; and
what drives your actions and thinking. Most of you are a lot
closer to having a relationship beyond your wildest dreams
than you think. But FEAR is keeping you from it.

I want to challenge you today to start moving beyond your

fear. It's alright to feel a little apprehension over someone
new. But for the love of God: quit chasing good men away
while simultaneously opening the door wide for subpar men
to enter your life! Start allowing yourself to grow, and go
beyond your current level of familiarity.

The right guy is right now waiting for you. But my question is:
Are you ready for him? Don't allow fear to rob you of your
future any longer.

110 | P a g e
51 | HOW DO YOU KNOW IF
HES REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT
YOUOR NOT?
Its actually a lot simpler than you think. Heres an easy rule
to follow if you ever want to gauge a persons level of
interest: The investment of time is proof of interest.

When someone is really interested in you, he will make it a

point to make time for you. Its really just that simple.

If he doesnt make time for you, except those times most

likely to lead to some bedroom gymnastics, then guess what:
Hes just not that into you! Hes just into your vagina.

I would elaborate: but not much is needed. If hes not

making you his priority, youre not his priority. Exactly where
that leaves you on his list of priorities depends on what else
he places before spending time with you in his life.

And if you are wondering why this chapter is so short, its

because its not that complicated.

So govern yourself accordingly.

111 | P a g e
52 | ALL MEN ARE NOT
CREATED EQUAL!
As a woman of wisdomand you should be if youre a
daughter of Godyou must learn the different types of men
that are out there. And I know youve been under the
assumption that all men are the same. But let me assure you,
we are not. Learn the different types of men.

You can't use the same technique on all men and expect a
favorable outcome. It's like with fishing: some bait works for
certain types of fish, while doing absolutely nothing for
others. Fish can be fickle. And so can men. Learn your type of
man before you go fishing for him, instead of assuming you
already know him.

And for those who believe the man should find the woman
and not the other way around: Im with you on that. But
even a fisherman has to know how to lure the fish to bite his
hook!

All men are not the same. Besides needing the basics of
food, clothing and shelter, we vary in as many ways as
women do. I purposely left sex out of the basic needs
because for some men, not even sex is a big enough draw to
enter a relationship with you. Which is why some of you can
throw all the freak-nasty sex at a man you can muster: and
he still will never commit to you.

Guys like that aren't easily captured via sex. I know you think
your vagina comes with special toe-curling powers that no
man can resist. Well I'm here to tell you that some men can
resist. And they're not gay or on the down low either.
They've simply mastered their ability to detach their
emotions from sexual pleasure; no matter how pleasurable

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the sex might be or how sexy the woman is that hes laying
with at the moment.

Here are the different categories of men with a brief

breakdown on each one. Not by any means an exhaustive
list. It's just a little something to help you identify which man
type is right for you, and which attraction method works best
in getting his full attention.

THERE ARE ABOUT 6 BASIC TYPES OF

MEN:

{man type #1: the social climber}

The social climber is that guy whos filled with worldly
ambition. His main focus in life is getting on top financially.
Guys like this are typically well-educated in their particular
field of work. And their main focus is their career, not a
relationship.

Social climbers also come in different types and from

different fields. Some are corporate social climbers. Others
climb through the military ranks. And there are also hood
social climbers, whose main focus in coming up in the
underworld of the streets.

Social climbers typically go for two types of women: well-

educated ambitious women, and women with extreme
beauty and little education - but who are very good at
adopting to any situation and fitting in like a chameleon.

You may be wondering why the social climber would be

interested in a woman who looks pretty but has little
education. This is because hes only interested in the type of
women who will make him look good. So he may gravitate

113 | P a g e
towards eye-candy, just to have someone who looks
stunning on his arm when hes out in public.

Another thing about the social climber: hes very

competitive. One way you can stand out to a man like this is
by being unafraid to playfully challenge his wits. Theres an
art to doing this without coming across as a ball-buster,
which is why I said to playfully do so.

The absolute worst thing you can do if you want a

commitment from a social climber is to give him the booty
too easily. Guys like this want to be seduced over a period of
time. They like the challenge of not being able to have you
easily, because they are hunters by nature.

Remember the Chad Ochocinco Johnson/Evelyn Lozada

fiasco a few years back? You ever wonder why famous
people and athletes tend to go for the type of women who
keep getting passed around in relationships from one
famous guy to the next? Its really simple: sports athletes
and famous men fit into the social climber category. These
men have at any given time a whole bevvy of beautiful
women vying for their attention. So many women in fact that
after a while, they all start becoming somewhat invisible to
the famous person. Their beauty becomes average. Each one
looks similar to the last.

The women who stand out to them the most are the ones
who seem the hardest to tame. Enter Evelyn Lozada. To
Chad, Evelyn represented another trophy to earn. She was
similar in a personal way to an athlete winning a Super Bowl
ring. In his mind and guys like him, if he could conquer that
wild woman, he was the ultimate player because he tamed
an untamable woman and brought her under full subjection.
Of course we know thats not how the story ended.

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Now Im not saying this to be disrespectful or dis-
compassionate towards them or their situation. Just pointing
out how a social climber thinks. To attract and get a
commitment from a man like this, you have to be not-so-
easily tamed. Dont let him conquer you with ease. And yes,
that includes not letting him conquer you sexually too. Hold
out. Seduce him over time without being overtly seductive.
Lead him on. But dont let him plant his flag in your soil until
wedding vows are exchanged.

Just continue to hold out the hope of him being able to one
day do so, and hell think that whatever God gave you
between your legs is more precious than whats between
any other womans legs.

However, be mindful that the social climber will always be

more married to the game of social climbing than he will be
to you. Which is why I advise against going after this type of
guy. If finding someone to make you happy is high on your
list, this wont be the guy for you. But if climbing socially is a
high priority in your life, go for yours. Just know what youll
be getting into.

{man type #2: the woman hunter}

The woman hunter is the type of man who is ONLY
interested in having women he cant have. This guy plays a
very dangerous game, because he likes to play very close to
home: either your home or his.

What I mean by this is that he likes messing with women

who are already in relationships. But he also likes going for
women that seem totally unattainable to other men. Think
back to Martin Lawrences character in the movie Its a Thin
Line Between Love and Hate. In that movie Martin played the
ultimate ladies-man who finally met his match in an
aristocratic and rich sister, played by the lovely actress Lynn

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Whitfield. Once she presents a challenge by making herself
out of his league, he pulls out all the stops to first get her
attention, then secondly: to get her into bed. Which is what
the Woman Hunters main goal is.

His real interest is not in settling down in a relationship. He

simply wants to know he has the game to be able to conquer
any woman he sets his sight on. And if youre not careful,
that woman will be you!

The woman hunter is usually a man who came into his own
personal sexiness late in life. He was that guy who couldnt
get the girls attention in grade school or college, and didnt
start finding his own ability to attract and get with women
until he became much older. Now hes out to make up for
lost time. Some of these guys are also out to exact
vengeance on all women for the one or two who personally
did him wrong when he was a youth.

Typically, you want to steer away from this type of man, as

he still has a lot of maturing to do. But it should be noted
that not all Women Hunters are seeking to raid your panties.
There is a subcategory within this group of guys who have
reached a certain level of maturity. And what they actually
seek is a woman not easily obtainable by any and every
other guy.

They want to feel like the woman they have is an exclusive

item that not many other men have had the privilege of
sampling yet. Even if you dont necessarily fit that
description based on your past, you can still give off the
illusion of exclusivity by simply playing your cards right.

If a Woman Hunter whos seeking an exclusive woman has

his eyes set on you, you can keep his attention by simply
playing a little hard to get. Be sure to dress tastefully too.

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And if you need to know what tastefully entails, ask an older
woman born prior to the 1970s.

Once you know this guy has an interest in you, go out of your
way to stay one step ahead of him by not allowing him to
actually get you. Be like that elusive dream where the
woman is just out of the mans reach, always a fingertip
away, running away playfully as he pursues with everything
hes got.

Sooner or later hell pull out his A-game. And when he does,
still dont give completely in. Let him continue to chase until
you are fully convinced that he intends to make you his one
and only. And thatll be when he starts talking serious
relationship language, and puts action behind those words.

{man type #3: married to the streets}

This is the guy who cant seem to take his life further than
living at the level of the streets. Hes married to the street
life. And the tats on his face and chest prove it. Or at least
thats the impression he likes to give off. You have to be
aware that there are two main types of men who fall into the
married to the streets category. They are: (1) The aspiring
rapper or music producer; and (2) The guy who knows how
to survive from low budget street activities like petty drug
selling or robbing other drug dealers; but hasnt matured
mentally to where he can function in the regular world yet.

The Aspiring Rapper: Hes focused on making his dreams of

becoming the next Chief Keef or Lecrae a reality. Hes got all
this musical equipment all over the house, plugged into
every possible outlet. And his beats dont sound too shabby
either. Hes very convincing if you take the time to listen, and
provides a convincing case that hes just one more mixed
tape away from a major record deal.

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The problem with guys like this is they dont have a viable
back-up plan. What if they dont get that elusive once in a
thousand years record deal? Then what?

If youre not careful you can find yourself wasting years of

your life trying to help a guy like this reach his dreams of
musical fame and fortune, just to end up broke and
frustrated once reality kicks in. Im not one to crap on
anyones dreams. But dreams need to be tempered with a
dose of reality: especially in a highly competitive field like the
music industry.

What the Aspiring Rapper needs more than anything else is a

financial sponsor. Hes in need of a sugar mama; some in-
house poontang he can lay up with while practicing his beat
making skills all day long. While youre busy at work earning
money to pay the bills, hell more than likely be online in
your house connecting with other potential sugar mamas.
Using your internet.

As long as youre willing to help finance his dreams of

musical greatness, hes all yours. But once reality kicks in and
you get sick and tired of smelling cheap weed every time you
open your front door, hell sense the inevitable fallout before
it happens, and be out of your life just as fast as he entered.

The Low-Level Street Merchant: This is the guy who knows

how to survive from low budget street activities. Like petty
drug selling or from hitting licks: robbing other drug dealers.
Dont be fooled into thinking a man eventually outgrows that
way of thinking. Some do. But many hold onto those low
budget hustling ways well into their 40s and 50s.

These men have made going to jail an acceptable

inevitability. And will be expecting you to stay loyal by
keeping money on their books while theyre away serving a

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stretch of time. Or while the police are kicking down your
front door at night searching for him and his homies.

A lot of low level street merchants really do want to beat the

streets and leave the life. So the smarter ones will pool their
money and start booking real studio time. They may even
start gathering a nice local buzz around town. But if youre
going to deal with a guy like this, youll need some patience.
Because overnight success in the music industry is extremely
rare. And hardly no one ever achieves it.

My final take: avoid these type of men altogether. You want

a man whos mature enough to want something more from
life than going in and out of prison. Or someone who values
you enough to want to live long enough to enjoy life
together with you.

If you have a weakness for inked skin and hood boys, I

suggest you get over it swiftly if you ever want a mature and
healthy relationship. Most of these men have accepted the
world of the streets as their reality. And unless they possess
the inner hunger to transcend those streets by going into
more legal pursuits in life, youll be on a perpetual treadmill
of dating one after the other, never reaching the promised
land of a solid relationship.

{man type #4: serious about Jesus}

You dont want to play around with this guy here, because
this man is serious about his walk with God. He may or may
not be a bible thumper. But one thing is certain: he and Jesus
are as tight as white on rice. Ladies, youve been praying for
God to send you a godly man: well here he is! And I hope
youre ready for him.

This type of guy will hold you up to Gods standards. And if

you dont qualify, there is nothing you can do to change that.

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His character check of you is based on the Bible and the Bible
only.

Sometimes the Serious About Jesus guy comes across as

condescending and a tad bit fanatical. Alright: very fanatical.
But his heart is really in the right place. I highly recommend
you seek such a man, and heres why:

A man who is serious about his walk with God is less likely to
cheat on you or treat you wrong. Because in his mind, he
knows he must ultimately answer to God for what he does.
And his highest mission in life is to please the Lord. So thats
something that will definitely play in your favor.

But theres a negative side to this too: and it depends on

where you stand in your own personal faith walk. If youre
the type who still occasionally enjoys going to the lounge or
night club, getting turnt up on the weekends or hitting up
the all-male revue: this definitely aint the guy for you! Hes
looking for the woman who enjoys church functions and
bible classes: not night clubs and pole dancing classes. And if
youre not the church-going type, you need to be honest
enough with yourself to accept that.

A lot of you wont be the right type for the guy whos Serious
About Jesus, because these men tend to be looking for the
woman whos still a virgin. And in this day and age where
virginity is frowned upon, some of you simply wont qualify.
And thats okay. Just because youre not his cup of tea
doesnt stop you from being another mans cup of coffee!
You just need to know where you stand and what works best
for your situation.

{man type #5: addicted to knowledge}

These are men who enjoy learning just for the sake of
learning. They typically fall into two categories:

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Hotep-ers: These are your black is beautiful, fight the power
brothers. They are a walking repository of informational
sound bites, usually taken or learned from copious amounts
of watching YouTube videos. They will dazzle you initially
with their knowledge of astrotheology, quantum physics,
astrology, astronomy, religion, esoteric knowledge, alchemy,
love spells, Tantric sex magic, ancient black history, etc.

Women are naturally drawn to wisdom, which is a

throwback to what happened with Eve in the Garden of
Eden. Satan tempted Eve with esoteric knowledge outside of
the bounds God had allowed. And many of Eves daughters
continue to be tempted by this type of hidden knowledge
until this day.

The thing about the hotep-er is that he rarely uses his

esoteric knowledge practically. He seems most content just
knowing things the typical person does not know. But how
does that help pay the bills?

Free Thinkers: These are typically your self-proclaimed

atheists and agnostics. They are heavy into reading up on
science, and use what little they know about science to
repudiate any existence of God. They can come off as
arrogant when first meeting them, because they have a
disposition that seems to say Im smart and youre dumb.

Sometimes the Free Thinker fancies himself to be a spiritual

amalgamation of all different kinds of religions and belief
systems: such as Hinduism, Buddhism, new age philosophies,
etc. If youre someone who believes in Jesus Christ, you
probably wont mesh well with the self-proclaimed free
thinker. Hell find your beliefs to be ridiculous and oddly
outdated in a modern world.

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THE THING ABOUT THOSE WHO ARE ADDICTED TO
KNOWLEDGE is that they never seem to be able to turn that
superior knowledge into anything beneficial for themselves
or for others. They just pursue knowledge for knowledge
sake. And the larger their minds expand, the smaller their
wallets and social skills contract.

Knowledge has to have an end goal: whether its to start a

business, or create some type of social movement. It has to
exist for something other than justknowing.

It wont be difficult attracting men like this. I remember back

in the early 90s when I would frequent lectures within the
black community often. I was at this one in particular and ran
into a beautiful sister. She was all oiled up and smelling like
incense, scented aloe and myrrh. Typical hotep sister. We
were having a discussion about The Beast 666 and what it
stood for. And while she talked, the man in me couldnt help
but notice how this nice looking young lady was extremely
open to further interaction with me, because she was a
seeker of knowledge too. That always stuck with me.

So ladies, if you wish to attract a self-conscious man, or one

who is a free thinking type, just be a self-conscious woman
whos also seeking knowledge and inner awareness. And
frequent those events and lectures where such men gather.

Your presence alone in the room will automatically make you

a focal point. Just be prepared to spend countless hours
discussing astrotheology, Egyptian history or the latest epic
debate between Christopher Hitchens and Dinesh Dsouza.

One last thing, as I would be remiss by leaving this out: be

careful about dealing with the hotep type of brothers. Many
of them use esoteric knowledge as a way to lure women who
are also knowledge seekers into sexual relationships. Its a

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ploy used by some men of a lesser character to not only use
your body, but also your income.

Many of these guys are unemployed ex-felons who would

rather live off of you rather than going out into the world
and getting a job, or at least creating a viable business to
support themselves with. They also are prone to dabbling in
witchcraft, voodoo and other forbidden occult practices. A
Christian woman really has no business dealing with such
men. So be aware of such men.

One way you can spot them is by checking out their social
media timelines and pages. If they have a heavy amount of
images containing half-naked black women supposedly in
some type of black is beautiful set up: those are men
whose idea of black beauty usually just involves sex. Its not
your mind hes interested in enlightening. Its more likely
your inner thighs he wants to set on fire. Just so you know.

{man type #6: the cool guy friend}

This is the guy I think a lot of women are sleeping on. Hes
usually not on their radar as potential relationship material.
But he should be. And heres why:

This guy knows everything there is to know about you.

Chances are hes already seen you at your worst, knows you
at your best. And in spite of all this: he still likes you! Theres
also a good chance that you know a whole lot about him too.
You probably know each others family, kids, co-workers,
exes, everything.

Hes the guy who never steered you wrong with advice about
some knucklehead you were caught up emotionally with,
when you couldnt see clearly. He was the voice of reason
telling you to go easy on your child when he or she was
messing up in school. And hes the one you call when the

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advice he gave you was not heeded, and you ended up
landing hard on your butt because of your own
stubbornness.

Yet he lovingly and patiently extends you his ear for you to
bleed, listening to you cry your eyes out time and time again
over guys that he knows arent worth your time.

Can I be honest with you for a moment here? You cant beat
having a friend like that! Guys like this come once, maybe
twice in a lifetime. And here you are, year after year, going
through the same relationship blues with men who fail to
see you as marriage material: and you have a great guy right
in front of you whose worth you continue to overlook. Kind
of ironic, isnt it?

Youve been praying to God for a husband, begging God for

your Boaz. Well there he probably is! Yet some of you will
still overlook him, because he doesnt come packaged in the
way you hoped Boaz would.

Dont sleep on the Cool Guy Friend! He may look more like
Chester Morris than Morris Chestnut. And he may not be a
whiz at playing Jeopardy like you are. But he genuinely loves
you. And you know it. If ever there was a guy who would
treat you right and love you, honor and respect you: there he
is.

So you dont need me to tell you how to attract him. You

already have. You just need to decide if hes worth taking the
leap with into something deeper. And thats a choice only
you can make for yourself.

*Disclaimer: make sure hes a single man and not already

involved with someone else! You wouldnt want some other
woman plotting on your man, would you? Always be fair.
Theres no shortage of good men.
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53 | WHERE THE REAL MEN AT?!
I've received several requests from women asking me where
they can find those 'good brothers' I reference all the time.
The simple answer is FREQUENCY.

Do you know that right now there is music playing all around
you? Every radio station in your area is broadcasting some
type of sound or music: and its going on right now; every
type of music and talk radio all mumbled up in different
crisscrossing sound waves, even though you can't hear it.
You can't hear it because you haven't tuned into a specific
frequency. Its the same way with finding or locating decent
men.

I say all the time: good, solid, decent men are right there
under your nose! They're literally all around you.

Some of you are looking for that responsible brother who

takes good care of his business, knows how to treat a lady
right and has positive things going on. But your internal dial
is still set on the users and abusers, the mamas boys, simps
and wannabe playboys.

And that's why you keep attracting them!

It's time for you to re-tune your settings! You know how you
get in your car after you change out the battery, and all your
preset radio stations are messed up? What do you do? You
reset all your favorite stations, right?

Well that's what you should do now. Go within and start

resetting your relationship settings. When you do, you'll tune
into the frequency where the good men are. You'll pick up on
their signal, they'll begin to pick up on yours. And in that way
you'll attract one another effortlessly.

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54 | YOU HAVE THE POWER TO
ATTRACT YOUR EVERY DESIRE
You are a magnificent, vibratory being. Even your thoughts
are vibrations sent throughout the universe, and they attract
to you the physical manifestation of those very things you
are most focused on and believing in. That's why its so
important to be mindful of your thoughts.

Your words are also powerful vibrations. Words are really

thoughts made manifest. Which is why its so important to
guard your mouth and what you speak. When you mix the
powerfully magnetic vibrations of a belief-filled thought with
spoken words, you just set in motion your life's next event.

Jesus referred to this whole process as part of the operation

or laws of the Kingdom of God. The trick to this is that God
places no filters on what you can attract through his power
and kingdom. He only tells us how it works. And its up to us
individually and collectively to attract what's most in
agreement with our deepest desires and God's.

Remember the scripture that says God is no respecter of

persons? Well that goes for the way you use his power as
well. God's power is also no respecter of persons. Meaning
you can use it for good or for not so good. Just like electrical
energy. Electricity doesn't care if its used to heat your
dinner in the microwave or to taser somebody. Its
indifferent either way. It only exists; and responds to those
who cooperate with its natural laws and function.

But when you violate the laws of electricity, it can have

devastating consequences. When I was going through
training to be in the power generation field, they made us
watch a video of a former power company worker who, after

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several accident-free years on the job, made a very fateful
decision one day. He forgot protocol while working on an
underground power line, which was still alive though it
shouldn't have been. And one violation of the laws governing
the safe operation of electricity caused tens of thousands of
volts of raw power to shoot through his body, and literally
blew his arm and one of his legs completely off. He received
3rd degree burns all over his body and had to get multiple
operations and skin grafts. Amazingly, he survived.

Some of you have done the exact same thing for example,
when it comes to the laws governing relationships. Did you
even know there were laws governing relationships? You
may have violated those laws at some point or another; and
the end result was disaster: kids out of wedlock, divorce,
infidelity, something penicillin can't cure...

Those rules, stipulations and prohibitions in the Bible aren't

there just for the heck of it. Those are the safety practices
and procedures for governing your entire life more
effectively. When you violate those procedures, like the guy
in the story above, you put certain aspects of your life and
well-being at risk. It doesn't matter if you're a Christian or
not. That's why non-Christians can be married 40 years and
be content, and some Christians can't stay married for 5
years without divorcing.

The laws governing successful relationships don't care either

way. It favors those who cooperate with it. Plain and simple.

As a Christian, you're supposed to have the advantage

because you have the Rule Book to the whole system! But
its only effective if you learn to use it properly. When you
learn the laws that control the raw power of this universe
you can manipulate that power in your favor.

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55 | LIFE IS TO BE LIVED IN
FULLNESS
What mostly holds us back in life is not real; it's only
imagined. Those imaginations become self-erected walls that
become prisons keeping us safe from taking risks and
suffering loss. But life isn't about minimizing risk. It's about
having the most amazing, awesome experiences this side of
eternity! It's about growth, expansion, actualization and
manifesting Gods Kingdom on earth in the span of our
lifetime. But you can't do this hiding behind self-created
walls of fear and doubt.

Life is to be lived! And living includes taking risks. Are you

really living; or simply breathing? Have you lived up to your
highest ideal; or settled for living down to the lower
expectations of others? This is YOUR life! Don't let someone
else live your life for you, based on their doubts and small
thinking. It's time to start dreaming again for yourself.

Stretch that mind, expand your capacity to hope, to believe,

to expect more. Tear those false walls down. And step out
into the larger world where folks are busy making their
dreams come true. When you live big, you inspire the rest of
us to live big too.

So don't be stingy! Give us something to be inspired by!

Here's to tearing down personal walls of Jericho today. Your
promised land of milk and honey is just on the other side
waiting on you.

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56 | DELAY DOES NOT MEAN
DENIAL
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose
under the heaven. [Ecclesiastes 3:1]

I wonder how often we miss out on good things in life

because of moving too soon or too late on a thing? Take for
example the biblical story of Joseph. You can read it yourself
in Genesis chapter 37.

Joseph was someone who was sold into slavery by his own
jealous older brothers. Talk about a dysfunctional family! But
even as a slave he excelled at whatever he did. So much so
that his slave master put him in charge of all his household
and business affairs.

His work ethic didn't go unnoticed. Namely by the master's

wife, who developed a strong crush on Joseph. So strong was
her infatuation with Joseph that whenever her husband
wasn't around, she started making overtly sexual advances
towards him. Joseph being a man of integrity did the right
thing and turned her down. Which got him falsely accused of
attempted rape and thrown into prison. Funny how doing
the right thing can sometimes take your situation from bad
to worse.

While in prison he came across two very influential people:

the personal butler and wine taster of Pharaoh himself.
Which, by the way had to be a sucky job. The wine taster's
job was to sample the king's wine, to make sure there was
no poison in it. Death by poison was a common form of
assassination back in those days. So if the wine taster drank
from the royal beverage and fell on the floor in foaming
convulsions, Pharaoh knew not to drink any himself. His body

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would be removed and disposed of, and a new wine taster
would take his place. Wonder if that came with a good
retirement package and benefits? Obviously not good health
benefits. But I'm digressing...

Joseph helped both men by interpreting dreams for them

while they were in prison. He told his case of unjust
incarceration to the wine taster, since he was actually being
released from prison soon, and begged him not to forget to
mention his case to Pharaoh. Joseph was still hoping to
return home to his family living in tents out in the desert.
And true to form, as if Murphy's Law was retelling this story,
the wine taster got out of jail and forgot all about poor
Joseph...for two long agonizing years. So Joseph languished
away in jail.

But one day Pharaoh himself had a troubling dream.

Apparently the Egyptians were big on dream interpretation.
Something of a lost art in our modern world. And he couldn't
find anyone in his court to make any sense out of the dream.
That's when the wine taster remembered his cellmate Jo the
Jew back in prison. He told the king about the wise young
Hebrew guy who was serving time for a false rape charge,
who had an uncanny ability to make sense out of complex
dreams. So Pharaoh did what we would do in his situation:
he called for Joseph to be brought to him.

As the story goes, Joseph interpreted Pharaoh's dream, and

offered him some unsolicited advice which also made the
king a whole lot of money: and Joseph was rewarded by
being elevated to the position of second in command over
the entire Egyptian empire; in charge of all the king's
business affairs. He ended up saving many lives from
starvation, including his own family. And got himself a
beautiful royal Egyptian sista for a wife too. Not a bad come
up for a former slave and inmate. Talk about going from rags

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to riches! Or in his case: from the bottom of the prison to the
top of the pyramid!

Here's my point: What if Joseph had gotten his way earlier

and got released from prison before meeting Pharaoh? Think
how differently this story would've turned out!

God has a perfect timing in every major event for your life.
This also includes relationships.

Often in our ambition we get ahead of the game; and we

leap out there much sooner than we should. This is
especially true when we're enduring a situation that seems
so unjust or unbearable. Hence why patience is such a
valuable tool in your personal arsenal. Use the waiting
period for preparation. So that when the time comes, you're
good and ready to 'Carpe Diem': Seize the day!

I think back over my own life: how many times I rushed into
a decision. Or a relationship. And it bit me in the butt...hard.

Learn to move and flow in God's timing. Trust is the key.

Trust that God knows what he's doing with your life; and He
knows how to bring you where you need to be at the right
time to meet the right people, who can elevate your life in
ways you couldn't imagine.

And remember: its not failure. Its just results. Keep pushing
forward, course correct as needed, and youll reach your goal
when the timing is most perfect.

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57 | NEGATIVE FAMILY TIES ARE
KEEPING YOU SINGLE
Why are you still single?

I've heard all of the reasons before: men are not stepping up
to the plate, men are just out looking for an easy time, you
actually enjoy being single, etc.

But there is one more reason why women remain single, and
I rarely hear others talk about it or even mention it. So I'll
talk about it now.

Many of you remain single because deep on the inside you

still carry residue from former relationships inside your spirit.
Let's call it spiritual residue. This residue acts like a blocker
that is preventing you from being able to move forward in
having a healthy, happy relationship.

But it gets deeper. Some of you come from a long line of

women in your own family who were never able to hold onto
or remain in stable relationships either. And it may not be
anything that you did wrong that's keeping you stuck in
relationship limbo: it could be the spiritual energy of your
own family bloodline.

There really is such a thing as generational blood-ties.

Science corroborates this, which is why your doctor will
always ask you to fill out a form listing certain conditions
that run in your family. These conditions are called
hereditary diseases.

Think about it: if you can inherit a disease in the body from
your family, or a disease of the mind, why is it far-fetched to

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think you can also catch a disease of the spirit from the same
family?

Putting it plainly: many of you are literally spiritually

predisposed to having jacked up relationships. And that could
well be a valid reason why you are experiencing lack in this
area of your life.

Are your family ties more like spiritual chains?

Think about it: momma couldn't keep a man, big momma

couldn't keep a man, aunties couldn't keep one, none of your
sisters or female cousins can keep one. And now, here you
are having problems too.

Something in that family bloodline could be preventing the

women in your family from maintaining functional
relationships.

I often get angry comments from women, particularly in the

Christian community, telling me that God breaks every
spiritual attachment the moment a person prays the sinner's
prayer.

I strongly beg to differ. If that were truly the case then James
5:14-15 would be totally irrelevant:

Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of
the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with
oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith
will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him
up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him.

The word sick as its used in verse 14 means to be weak or

powerless in ANY way (G770 in Strongs Concordance).

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So that means even though you are born again, you can still
suffer a sense of weakness or powerlessness in certain areas
of your life. And some of you are weak and powerless when
it comes to attaining and keeping a healthy relationship
going with a good man.

What further complicates the problem is SIN.

When you entertain fornication in any way, whether

physically or even mentally (like when you watch porn or
masturbate), you are empowering demonic forces that seek
to deny your greater fulfillment in this life. In other words:

Jesus can't set you free if you still enjoy being bound!

If you are experiencing repeated failure in relationships or

come from a long line of women who never get married,
engaged or stay married for long, you need to break free
from that generational malady ASAP.

Generational curses are real! And that's what I believe many

of you reading this are suffering from right now this very
moment.

But not all of you. Some of you just need to learn how to
forgive, let go of bitterness and move on! Still holding onto
anger or bitterness from something that happened ten years
ago just means you have an unhealthy attachment to pain.

And it's time to let that go too.

Lasting joy and freedom is your divine birthright in Jesus

Christ. But you need to go through Jesus Christ in order to
get it. Quit denying yourself what rightfully belongs to you.

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58 | GOD MADE US DIFFERENT
FOR A REASON
A woman isn't mentally or emotionally designed to have
multiple sexual partners.

When a woman has sex with a guy, the act of him entering
her allows his life force and energy to enter her as well. That
mans life force and energy then becomes a part of that
womans emotional and mental character.

The more of a mans life force she takes inside of her, the
more like that man she becomes. She starts to take on his
ideological outlook on life, and begins to reflect the essence
of who that man is. This in part is what the bible means by
two becoming one flesh.

Thats why you can always tell when a woman has been with
low caliber men. Shell take on the persona and low level of
energy of those men she's been with.

A woman by divine design becomes a reflection of her man.

[Genesis 3:16] Whoever she has sex with on the regular,
that's the person's mindset and ideology shell eventually
become most aligned with.

And when she has multiple sex partners, she has multiple
competing spiritual forces fighting inside her soul for the
dominant position within her life.

This duality within her ultimately leads to confusion. I know

some of you ladies think you can do what men do, but you
have to put on your grown woman hat and think like an
adult. Its time out for thinking and acting like irresponsible
teenagers.

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You cant do what we do. And we cant do what you all do.
Our bodies and minds were designed differently to fulfill
Gods greater purpose.

This doesn't excuse men either for having loose sexual

behavior.

The bible makes it clear (and science corroborates) that

when a man and woman join together as one: they become
ONE flesh.

And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer
two but one flesh. [Mark 10:8]

To the guys reading this book right now: think about that.
How many women have you become one with in your
lifetime?

It's a scary thought, especially when you consider all the

spiritual fall-out that can happen from allowing the energy of
different women to join up with yours.

Some of you right now can't seem to get your life on track,
and you can't figure out why. You have strange pains in your
body, or trouble holding down a job.

You no longer sleep well at night. Your business has suddenly

stagnated. Or maybe your finances never come together the
way you need them to.

It's because of those unbroken ties with females from your

past. Some of those women you had the pleasure of
fornicating with were filled with demons: and because of
that sexual act now her demons now have permission to
torment your life too.

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Sex is a very real, very serious act of sharing power. And we
shouldn't treat it like kids playing with matches and gasoline.

So ladies, its time to stop lying to yourself about women

being players like men. The only one who ends up being
played in the end is YOU. It's time to treat sex like it's more
serious and precious than life or death itself. Because for
many of you: it really is.

Many a man is suffering the torments of hell this very

moment, all because he refused to gain control over his
penis when he had the chance to. Now his lust has become
his eternal torment.

If you don't control your penis, some woman (and the

demons working through her) will destroy you THROUGH
your penis. The same goes for you too ladies. Do not allow
your legs to be the open portal that allows demons into your
sacred space.

I advocate a strong healthy regimen of disciplining one's life

by the teachings of Jesus Christ found in holy scripture. Not
to be religious: but because IT WORKS!

The very thing many of you are running from or avoiding

entirely is the very thing you need most to get your life on the
right track.

Stop running and give God a chance. And watch your life
transform in ways you never thought possible.

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59 | BEFORE YOU SLEEP WITH
ANOTHER PERSON, YOU
MIGHT WANT TO READ THIS...

Many of you have demonic attachments in your life: demons

that you picked up through having sex with different people;
and this is what's preventing you from finally connecting
with the right person.

Some refer to these as soul ties: but they are really nothing
more than demonic residual energy that is still attached to
you. And unless you get rid of this negative energy, you will
never be able to hold onto, establish or maintain a healthy
monogamous relationship.

For some of you those soul ties were formed against your
will, when someone violated your innocence as a child.

Satan is vicious in his intent to steal, kill and destroy lives. He

has no regard for age, gender or innocence. Any way he can
find to put demons into your life, he will use. And sadly, this
includes rape, incest, sexual abuse and molestation.

We all know about sexually transmitted diseases. But few

like to talk about those Sexually Transmitted DEMONS.

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Demons are contagious. And many of you may have
inadvertently picked up another person's demons through
sex.

When you fornicate, masturbate, engage in homosexual

activity, cheat on your spouse, become the product of a
sexual assault, or even when you watch porn, you are
opening wide the door of your soul to all types of demonic
influences.

And now you may have an unwanted spiritual guest taking

up permanent residence in your life.

Many of you struggle to connect with the right man for this
very reason. It has nothing to do with your hair style, nails,
clothes, shoes, how you smell, whether you're uneducated
or degreed, or how much money you make.

Those demonic attachments in your life are preventing you

from finally connecting with the right person. You are
literally being blockaded by demons!

I wish I could tell you all you have to do is just wave your
hand, say a simple prayer and this will make everything okay.
But it doesn't work like that. These sort of demons become
attached to your soul via sexual contact that forms a soul
covenant with you.

And once that covenant has been formed, it's extremely

difficult to get those sexual demons to pack up and leave.
Only a more powerful form of covenant can force them out.

If you've ever had sex with someone out of wedlock, you

have formed a soul covenant with that person. And yes, this
includes masturbating while watching porn! The demons
that are a part of the life of those actors now have express
permission to enter into yours.

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And the more sexually promiscuous you are, the more
interconnected the web of demonic soul ties are that have
been formed over your life.

Don't write this off as just a bunch of religious nonsense.

Soul covenants and the demonic realm are real! But so is
Jesus Christ: and He alone wields the sword that can cut
those demonic ties once and for all in your life.

To learn more about how to get rid of sexual soul covenants

and evict those soul-sucking demons from your life for good,
download a copy of my ebook: Diva, Goddess, Queen:
Breaking the Power of Soul Ties, Lust and Sexual Demons.

(Click here to download now: www.divagoddessqueen.com)

For most of you the key that will finally set you free from
what's been holding you back from connecting with the right
person will be found right here in this chapter.

You can download my other ebooks for greater details in this

subject matter dealing directly with demonic forces.

It's time to rid yourself of those demonic parasites once and

for all. No more struggling with sexual sin. No more living
with guilt and shame.

Give yourself one of the greatest gifts you'll ever receive by

rededicating your entire life to Jesus Christ. Only He has the
power to set you free. And whom the Son sets free is free
indeed!

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60 | SPIRITS OF LUST
There's a reason why the Bible condemns sexual sins like
FORNICATION, ADULTERY AND HOMOSEXUALITY.

There exists another dimension that many people are totally

unaware of: the dimension of the spirit realm. And in this
realm there also exists demonic spirits and other evil
presences.

These wicked spirits prey on unsuspecting people who

naively think that violating God's Word doesn't carry any
negative effects. Indeed it does.

Many of you reading this are slaves to demonic spirits of lust

because you are slaves to sin. And the sin you so readily
embrace is the open doorway allowing these demons to
enter your life and take control.

Been having a string of mishaps lately? Can't find or maintain

a quality relationship that doesn't end in disaster? Are you
finding it increasingly difficult to control those sexual urges
that hit you harder than a freight train, at the most
unexpected times?

Do you sometimes feel the urge to hit people for no reason

at all when you're in a crowded room? Do you have frequent
or recurring thoughts of suicide, or harming those close to
you?

These are serious questions. The answer doesn't lay in

another psychotropic drug prescription. You can't medicate a
demon! These are symptoms of something much more
nefarious.

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And only the mighty power of JESUS CHRIST can break those
demonic chains from off your mind and soul.

Don't be an avatar for demons any longer!

You don't have to be a habitation for demonic spirits to dwell

in. It's time for you to shut the door on demons once and for
all in your life, and serve them their eviction notice!

You can have lasting peace. You can have a sound, healthy
relationship along with the blessings and the ability to enjoy
it. You can be free from thoughts of suicide or harming
others.

All you have to do is follow God's rules. God doesn't give us

rules to hinder us. He gives us rules to help us! Without rules
and guidelines, we would be like small children without any
oversight. Every company on Earth has rules and a set of
guiding principles for those required to be employees of that
company. These are called employee manuals. This manual
spells out what is required of you in order to remain an
employee of that particular company.

Jesus has an employee manual for His workers too. It's called
The Holy Bible. And it spells out everything that's required of
those who want to be employed by God's Kingdom.

It's time to start reading your employee manual again! Study

it, take notes and most importantly: govern yourself
accordingly.

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61 | LURKING IN THE SHADOWS

How many of you will be honest enough to admit that you

sometimes feel like you are being watched by an invisible
presence in the room when you masturbate?

Here's the thing: you are! That 'presence' is called a demon.

And it lurks in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to
pounce and enter your body.

Dont believe me? Well then believe the Bible: The Bible tells
us that Satan and his demonic legion are here on earth
seeking all they can devour.

And these demonic spirits of fornication and lust are

wreaking havoc in the lives of many Believers.

By watching porn and masturbating to it, you are entering

into a sexual covenant with the demonic spiritual force
behind pornography, which can be called a spirit of
fornication or lust: thus giving legal permission for that
demon to enter your body and take up residence.

It seeks to become one with you. And if you continue flirting

with it via ungodly sexual activity, it will eventually succeed
and enter your body permanently.

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And once that happens your sexual desires won't be yours
alone anymore. You'll share those desires with an evil
spiritual entity that will use lust and sex to wreak pure havoc
in your life.

This is very serious stuff!

If you are addicted to porn/masturbation/fornication you

can be free today. Jesus Christ is a POWERFUL deliverer. And
He alone has the power to set you totally free from the
witchcraft spell of the porn-sex industry.

But you have to ask for His help. Jesus is constantly

monitoring the airwaves, listening for those who sincerely
call on His name. Don't just suffer in silence. Get the Lord's
help today and be free in the mighty name of Jesus!

If you desire more info to help you overcome any sexual

addictions in your own life, you can also download my other
ebooks on this topic: Diva, Goddess, Queen: Breaking the
Power of Soul Ties, Lust and Sexual Demons, and Hedonism:
Destroying Demonic Sexual Strongholds.

Both are available right away, and will help you break free
permanently from sexual lust, the spirit of fornication and all
illicit soul ties that have been formed due to this type of
activity. Get it today by clicking here:

https://edendecoded.com/books

In the name of Jesus Christ, I declare that your journey

towards sexual purity and freedom starts today!

144 | P a g e
62 | SPIRIT HUSBANDS
I'm going to be very frank here with you ladies.

Many of you can't find a man or meet a decent guy because

you have extremely unholy sinful practices in your life that
God is not pleased with. And those practices are limiting His
ability to help you find a suitable mate.

When you get the chance today: go into your bedroomif

this applies to youempty out your favorite drawer (you
know the one I'm referring to), and throw every last one of
your sex toys away. In fact, don't just trash them: take a
hammer and utterly destroy it. Lest you be tempted to
retrieve them from the garbage can.

This goes for all those erotic toys, books and movies too. If
you're storing movies on your computer, take your computer
somewhere safe and clean off your hard drive. If you have
books in your collection that stir up lust and drive you to
pleasure yourself, dump those books too.

Get rid of any and everything in your possession that causes

you to sin sexually. Including certain types of music.

Here's the thing, and I want you to read this next part
carefully: anything that drives you to sin is not coming from
you alone. You've more than likely opened a door in your life
to having what the old timers would call a spirit husband.

People who come from a voodoo or an old southern hoodoo

background know about spirit husbands.

These are actual spiritual entities that become attached to a

woman through ungodly sexual and spiritual activity. And
once they attach themselves they prevent the woman from

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being able to sustain a meaningful normal relationship with a
man.

Spirit husbands won't share you with any other man. They
become so attached to you that they feel like you belong only
to them. Interestingly, they will however share you with
other women (hence the proliferation of lipstick lesbians and
bisexuality among females today).

But they will drive all decent men from your life, forcing you
to remain alone until you die. Because you've inadvertently
given yourself to a spirit husband. And that thing will claim
you for life.

Many times a spirit husband becomes attached through

fooling around with the occult. And yes, that includes
horoscopes and tattoos too.

For the record, a Christian has NO business under the sun

toying around with horoscopes, sex signs, tattoos or star
charts. The bible strictly forbids such activities because they
are open pathways to the demonic realm.

Some of you have even met your spirit husband. He shows

up periodically in your dreams making love to you. Or
perhaps he climbed on top of you while you slept at night,
causing extreme terror as he squeezed the breath out of you.

The only way you can get rid of a spirit husband is through
bona-fide repentance. You have to close the door to that
thing. And you do it by renouncing the very practices that led
the door to open in the first place.

Then you have to submit your life to a higher more powerful

masculine force: I'm talking about Jesus Christ. Jesus' name
carries major weight in the spirit realm. All other spirits,
good or bad must bow in respect to His greater authority.

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63 | GETTING RID OF SOUL TIES
Theres a lot of talk going around these days about soul ties.
And the number one question being asked is: How do you
get rid of a soul tie? Its simple: REPENT. Lets break that
down for a brief moment.

Repent comes from 2 separate words:

re: which means again. As in over again.

pent: which means the apex or the pinnacle of something.

The top position.

Repent literally means to go back to the top from which you

have fallen. Often when used in a religious context, it loses
its actual meaning. Because religion teaches that we never
had a pinnacle to begin with. But the Bible is clear that we
must have: or how else could you RE-pent? You can't go back
to something you were never connected to in the first place,
right?

The pinnacle is God's original design. How things were

intended and created to be. Each of us at some point or
another in our lives have fallen from that lofty ideal place of
being. How this relates to undoing ties of the soul: first we
must have a working definition of what constitutes a human
soul.

Your soul is that aspect of your being that contains your

emotions, feelings, desires, ability to make choices. Its your
conscious awareness and the way you choose to direct that
awareness. When two people choose to have sex, tying their
feelings, desires and choice into the action, they've created a
mutual connection at the soul level. The only way this can be
undone is by breaking those ties.

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You'll know you're still tied to a person based on the type of
feelings they still hold over you. Many women are still
emotionally tied to some guy from their past who broke their
heart; even though they're currently in a different
relationship or in no relationship at all. That's because those
soul ties have never been severed.

The key to breaking soul ties is forgiveness. Forgive yourself

for binding your soul and body to another outside of God's
intended design. And forgive the other person you were in
that relationship with. Lastly and certainly not to be
forgotten, you should seek forgiveness from God. After all:
its His design that you've been violating.

Jesus said it this way: If you do not forgive others their sins,
your Father will not forgive your sins. [Matthew 6:15]

We were not designed for multiple sexual partners. I know

that's not very popular but it's true. Neither biologically nor
emotionally. Its a violation of God's intended design and will
ultimately lead to human devolution and more suffering if
we continue down that path. There's not a credible doctor
on earth who can tell you with a straight face that having
multiple sex partners is healthy for body and mind.

So forgiveness and taking proper time to purge your soul and

body from the past is what's needed before moving forward
to connect with someone else.

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64 | BROTHERLY ADVICE
Allow me to offer some brotherly advice...

Men don't really date. We typically either find wives, or we

find someone to have sex with. Period.

Now of course as with anything, there will always be

variations to this. But as a general rule of thumb, I stand by
my statement.

So ladies, now I ask you: Are you presenting yourself as WIFE

material, or as SEX material?

A man pretty much knows soon after meeting a woman what

role she will play in his life. We either see you as part of our
divine purpose, or part of our devilish desire to play.

If you are entertaining a guy in any capacity, it's up to you to

decide which roll you'll fill in his life.

I think for a lot of you, you truly want to be seen as wife

material. But wife training seems to be a lost art these days.

Most large churches no longer have old church mothers with

that lifetime of wisdom to pass down to the younger ladies.
And if they do have church mothers, they're relegated to
sitting on the front row looking pretty on Sundays, but doing
nothing more.

When was the last time you met a wise old saintly
grandmother who has been happily married for years, over
the age of 50? They're about as rare as spotting Bigfoot.

In fact, you have a better chance spotting Bigfoot! Many

women today around the age of 50 are still out there trying
to catch a man themselves!
149 | P a g e
So where's a young woman getting her wife training from
these days?

Chances are her own mother was single too. Or unable to

hold down a marriage for whatever reason. So where does
one go to learn how to become a successful wife???

Right now, thirsty, sex-crazed penis-driven men are having a

field day out there. Never before in modern history has so
much sex been so easily obtainable.

And ladies: YOU are the ones making it possible!

If you want to be a wife, start acting like it. Carry yourself like
you deserve to be wifed-up, respected and chosen.

And please understand that no sane man is going to wife up

a woman with ho'ish tendencies. There really is no easy way
to say it.

Rid yourself of those tendencies first, get training from an

older wiser woman, and greatly increase your chances of
getting that commitment.

Unless you're content being somebody's personal back

stretcher. If so, get in line because the competition for that
role is fierce.

150 | P a g e
NOW WHAT?
Now that you've read this book: what will you do? Will you
continue going through life doing things the same way you
always have: or will you dedicate and commit yourself to
change?

You are more special, more wonderful, more exotic and filled
with more promise than you could ever imagine! You don't
need a man to validate your worth. God already validated
your worth when He sent Jesus Christ to redeem you from
sin and its penalties. You need a man to compliment you!
And you need to be a compliment to the right guy in return.

I mentioned it before in this book and its worth repeating:

God is the perfect Match Maker. There's no one else like Him
or able to match His skills in this area. So why not trust Him
with your life today?

If you don't know Jesus Christ on a personal basis yet; or

perhaps you've lost your way a bit and slipped apart from
that loving relationship with God that you once knew: it's
time to come home.

God loves you, misses you and wants your affection. He

desires a heart-to-heart relationship that transcends
anything you could ever get from any man. A man can
comfort your flesh, soothe your emotions and provide
companionship: but he cannot touch your inner heart or
spirit.

Your inner spirit belongs to GOD and GOD ALONE. There is a

place in you so deep, only God can reach it. No man will ever
make a fitting substitute to fill that spot: because only God
through His son Jesus Christ can enter into the special place.
That place is the seat of your will and desire.

151 | P a g e
God loves you. He wants you. And He stands ready to bless
you with everything that could make your life better. BUT
YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS GOD'S WAY FROM NOW ON.

You've tried doing things YOUR way: and where has that
gotten you? God is loving, God is forgiving. But God is also
righteous and just. And He doesn't have low standards: on
the contrary God has extremely HIGH standards. So high in
fact, that you need His help to even meet them.

If you've been living foul, or simply gotten yourself off

course: it's time to repent. Repent simply means to turn
away from what is wrong, and turn towards that which is
right.

No more living a double life. No more fornicating, then

repenting for it later knowing full well you intend to do it
again. We cannot play God for a fool, nor continue to play
with His emotions or feelings.

God wants commitment from you. He wants full obedience.

So give Him what He wants first. Then you can ask anything
you want of Him, and He'll give it to you.

But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you

may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! [John
15:17]

Obedience to God is the key to your success!

God bless you. And thank you for reading, please leave a
REVIEW at: https://edendecoded.com/testimonials

152 | P a g e
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mack is the author of several books including:

Diva Goddess Queen

Hedonism
Seduced by the Serpent

Macks active readershipin addition to the United

Statesspans all over the world in places such as South
America, Africa, India, Israel and New Zealand: receiving
countless testimonials about the lives transformed through
his books and articles.

Get Macks books at: https://www.edendecoded.com/books

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