Broken Relationship

Causes and Effects of Broken Relationship

M. Amir Hossain
ID# 052 346 030
Section-07

ENG-105
ABDUS SELIM
Fall 2008

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Causes and Effects of Broken Relationship

A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as a
romantic relationship between a boy and a girl. A typical relationship is built through a deep,
ineffable feeling of tenderly caring towards the person the relationship is concerned to. The
conception of relationship encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire
and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial. Thus
relationship in its various forms acts as a major facilitator.
For further proceeding to this analysis of impact of broken relationship we now need to
clarify how different types of relations are built and what are the facts that lead those relations to
an unfair end meaning break-up.
Interpersonal relationship: is a relatively long-term association between a boy and a
girl (assuming the nonexistence of gay and lesbian relationship in our country). This association
may be based on emotions like love and liking, as well as regular interactions. Interpersonal
relationships take place in a great variety of contexts, such as friends, marriage, acquaintances,
work, clubs, neighborhoods, and most significantly colleges and universities. They may be
regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement. They are the basis of social groups.
Abusive relationships: Although human beings are fundamentally social creatures,
interpersonal relationships are not always healthy. Such unhealthy relationships are basically
known as abusive relationships. Abusive relationships include and codependence which means
the boy or the girl, either or both of them are heavily depended to each other. All relationships
involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other,

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share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this
interdependence, anything that changes or impacts one member of the relationship will have
some level of impact on the other member.
Intimate relationship: is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. It is a relationship in
which the participants (both the boy and girl) know or trust one another very well. They also
have confidants of one another. It is a relationship in which there is physical or emotional
intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romance, passionate, attachment, and sexual
activity whereas emotional intimacy is something that directly relates to emotion. According to
George Levinger (1983), the natural development of a relationship follows five stages:
1. Acquaintance - Becoming acquainted depends on physical proximity, first impressions,
and a variety of other factors. If a boy and a girl begin to like each other, continued
interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can continue indefinitely.
2. Buildup - During this stage, that boy and girl begin to trust and care about each other.
The need for compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals
will influence whether or not interaction continues.
3. Continuation - This stage follows a mutual commitment to a long term friendship,
romantic relationship, or marriage. It is generally a long, relative stable period.
Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time. Mutual
trust is important for sustaining the relationship
4. Deterioration - Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of
trouble.

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5. Termination - The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by death in the
case of a healthy relationship, or by broken-up.
Methodology

For conducting my research I used both primary and secondary data. To know the public
point of view regarding this matter I made a questionnaire and did the survey of thirty people.
Many of them were enthusiastically filled up questionnaire. Questionnaire was prepared, which
consisted of about 10 questions. All questions were directly related to the topic. The
questionnaire was made to identify causes of broken relationship, its effect to jeopardize career,
and recommendation regarding broken relationship. I got lots of information from internet, but
little bit from magazine and journal regarding this topic. Few of my friends gave me lots of idea
which were really helpful for me to write up a research paper on this topic.

Limitation

To pull out the required information I had to do survey. I had faced some problems during
preparing the research paper like- time constrains: this is quite obvious problem for every student
to finish a research within a three and half month. So I have no other choice but to narrow it
down.

Research Findings

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To justify my thesis statement, I have prepared questionnaire, which included with ten
questions. Among these questions first four questions were based on MCQ and rest of the open
ended questions. Now I am clarifying each of the questions on the basis of my findings.

50% responses that he/ she will be good looking, wealthy and beautiful mind which is
option (d), when he/she is going to choose his girlfriend/her boyfriend. But in reality it is not
possible. 30% responses, that he/she will have beautiful mind. Below 10% suggest that wealthy
and above 10% go with good looking are matters of choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend.

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More than 35% think that mental disagreement is the main reason, which leads a fair
relationship to an unfair end. 30% response inequality in social status directs them to breaks up.
Nearly 15% suggest other reasons whereas 20% agree that sexual dissatisfaction are also
responsible ending up their relation.

More than 45% response that he/she would be very disappointed when his or her
girlfriend family does not accept their relationship. Less than 10% suggest they would marry
without their permission. 30% do not know what they actually do and above 15% will accept it
as a normal way.

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If he or she cannot match with his girlfriend or her boyfriend mentality after passing
certain time, more than 55% response he or she will take the decision to end up their relation.
Over 20% are confused what they would do as well as below 20% react in this way that he or she
will try to adjust.

Now a day more than 70% think relationship between boys and girls do not last for
longer period of time because of- choice vary from time to time, lack of trust worthiness, more
materialism, as well as foreign culture.

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Nearly 70% do not agree that social status might cause to breakup relationship between a
boy and girl. Relationship does not know any barrier and it does not also have any boundary.
Actually it depends on the mentality and understanding with each other.

60% response broken relationship have negative impact in his/her future life. After
happened this he/she will not be able to concentrate on their education. He/she will be hopeless
and frustrated to do anything in their lives. He/she will be addicted to drug so that he/she forgets
his/her past events from his or her life.

My next question was- How would you likely to feel/act if you ever break-up with someone
whom you truly love?
Break-up in life is not an easy thing. It will loose the rhythm of life. One of survey
responders said that she cannot think about it. Someone said that he will give thanks for having
passed some good time with him. Sometimes suicide attend is taken by boy or girl whenever
breakup their relationship to whom they truly love.

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My last question was- What would you like to recommend preventing break-up as well as its
consequences?
Before going to involve with any kind of relation, boy or girl needs to understand his or
her mentality as well as circumstances. Boy/girl will also try to match with each other social and
family status. They would show respect to each others feelings and values. Therefore,
Compromising and sacrificing will help to preventing ending up a relationship.

So, having done my entire research I have come with my thesis statement which is
partially correct. From the survey it is found that break-up does not usually occur for social
inequality rather it happens due to mental disagreement for most of the cases.

Causes of broken relationship

Social causesFamily pressure: In our cultural prospective it is a vital reason for breaking up
relationship. Usually when the boys or girls family know about their relationship, their families
usually do not accept it and tell them not to meet each other. And particularly when the girl
denies hearing them, she is being tortured by the family members, physically and mentally.
Inequality in social status: For breaking up such kind of relation it is a common issue in
our country. Sometimes, social status plays a role to end a relationship between a boy and girl.
Parents do not permit their boy or girl to make any relation which will loose their prestige in the
front of their society. If they fail to maintain their social status, they will be ignored or denied by
their relatives, neighbor etc.

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Western trend: Now a day western trend also an ordinary issue, it is become a mixed
cultural trend in our society. In this way boyfriend and girlfriend take such kind of relationship as
a time pass job. They try to get benefit within a short time period and after that they switch to
another partner.
Movies and drama serials: Through movies and drama serials boy/girl basically grapes
the how to deal with his/her girlfriend/ boyfriend, they act like that (their dress up, way of
talking,), but it does not accept in our customs by the boy/girl. So there is a present of
misunderstanding, which leads to end a relation.
Religious views: Sometimes religion make a crucial issue of Break Up, when a boy or
girl starts getting to know his girlfriend or boyfriend is from different religion or he / she does
not have any mandatory religion beliefs, for which he or she does not want to deal with or
believe in him/her. In our society, most of the people are Muslim thats why guardians do not
permit as well as our culture is not familiar such kind of relationship.
Mental causesLoss of trust: Each healthy relation is made up of strong trust. We know that healthy
relation means relation may include love, sympathy, and respect for each other. Trust is a base
for relation. If any one breaks-up this trust then it's very difficult to recover again. Many times
girl doesnt want to introduce her other friends to boyfriend. This kind of event is generally
happen with every woman because many times she is scared or she may feel that her boyfriend
will leave her only because of that. She is trying to hide the thing and if boyfriend caught then
both feel trust is dying from their relation.
Misbehavior: It is true that change is the law of nature. However, sudden changes for
human beings are sometimes difficult to accept. Even though it is nightmare for a boyfriend or

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girlfriend to break-up relationship sometimes he or she can see the changes of behavior of his
girlfriend or her boyfriend which indicates as symptom of ending relationship.
Conflicts: Constructive conflicts are healthy for a relationship. But when a boy or girl has
become quarrelsome over insignificant issues, then this is a warning that he or she is looking for
a break up.
Distance: Some moments of distractions are obvious in a relationship. However, when
boy or girl is in a constant state of unavailability, he or she may be setting his or her mind for a
break up.
Criticism: criticism also takes place in a relationship. Boyfriend or girlfriend may
criticize each other as to bring some behavioral changes and strengthen the relationship. But, if
he or she becomes less tolerant of almost everything; dont be surprised, as constant criticism is a
telltale sign of a break up.
Boredom: A long time continuous relation may lead to bore, because it makes into a
routine work with girlfriend/boyfriend like he/she is meeting the same person, visiting the same
kind of place, talking about the same topics etc for a long period of time. As a result nothing
remains romantic and they find that the spark has gone out on their relationship.
Undesirable: Undesirable is a formal reason for break up such kind of relation.
Sometime boys expect some illegal act from his girlfriend which girls may refuse to do.
Moreover boyfriend wants some study to help her girlfriend like as to do an assignment for her.
Sometimes girl expects some special or costly birthday gift which her boyfriend does not fulfill
as requirement. Therefore, in the beginning they do not share their hidden disappointment, but
lastly when time goes on they start quarrel each other.

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Interference: People like leave separately even they don't want a change in their routine
life. It's a general tendency of all human being. Many times only because of lack of trust of
girlfriend/boyfriend always make interfere in his/her each and every matter. For example, it's not
good pattern of your shirt? Dont talk with him. Don't eat that because I don't like it because of
all this statements he/she is really get irritate.
There are some signs that are related to the mental causes to end a relationship between
a boyfriend and girl friend. WhenHe or she has a feeling of continuous frustration about the relationship.
He or she is being physically and mentally abused.
He or she is finding more reasons to spend time apart.
He or she no longer has strong feelings about his girlfriend or her boyfriend.
He or she has changed his or her core values, beliefs and goals to accommodate his or her
hopes that will no longer be problematic in his or her relationship.
He or she has made drastic changes in his or her appearance to become more attractive
others.
He or she has a growing feeling of emptiness.
He or she has put extreme distance or totally cut off formal close relationships.

Jeopardy career (effects of broken relationship):

Surviving after breaking-up a relationship is tough. When someone breaks-up

relationship with his or her boyfriend/girlfriend, he/she feels like trash and he/she is not in a
good mood. All the time he/she becomes inactive in his or her activities. They keep crying all

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the time and feel that there is no meaning of life. So the immediate effect of the break-up is pain.
The pain goes away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact is high. It is the initial
periods during which one has to gather all the energy and tolerate the pain and takes some worse
step which is hamper their life and career. The effects are followingRuin educational career: Most of the time after broken a relationship boy and girl does
not want to continue their education. They thought for whom I will continue my study; there is
no need to build up my career. My life is end. There is no value of my life.
Depression: After boys and girls break up relation depression is a common effect on
which they survive a long time. Depression feels like a black curtain of despair coming down
over their lives. Many believe that they are dull and do not deserve anything. Others feel irritable
all the time for no apparent reason. Another name of depression is loneliness.
Insomnia: Insomnia is a symptom of a sleeping disorder characterized by persistent
difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep despite the opportunity. In this circumstance all the time
he/she thinks about his/her girlfriend/boyfriend and tries to find the reason why his/her
girlfriend/boyfriend dump him and so on.
Suicidal attend: It is a common type phenomena after breaks-up a relation. Suicide is
the act of deliberately taking one's own life. When he or she totally isolated, feel like life is
meaning less or does not any benefit to survive without her, they belong on a frustration and
thought her love is dead at that time they attend to do such kind of activity.
Drug addiction: It is another kind of worse effect, which occurs for the breaking up
relation. At that time he/she tries to escape some physical or mental pain by taking drug. Drug

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addicts don't become addicted with the intention to destroy their lives and to cause upset to those
they love. Usually when he/she does not able to cope with some aspect of his/her reality and is
introduced to drugs, he/she feels by having perhaps solved the problem itself.
Loss of trust in future: Another vital effect is loss of trust. After such kind of relation
he/ she do not able to trust any more of another. She/he is used to think all boys/girls are lire.
They do all just for time pass, therefore at their future relation they cant able to trust her
husband/his wife. As a result there is no more continuation of smooth relation.
Recommendation
Overcoming a relationship breakup may be a difficult task. It is one of the hardest things
in life. It requires lots of courage and emotional strength. Overcoming a relationship breakup is a
skillful way to start his or her life with new hopes. Relationship of a boyfriend and girlfriend
may break due to several reasons. It is a stressful and unpleasant situation. Both may feel
rejected and frustrated. As his or her loving and caring girlfriend or boyfriend is not with her or
him, she or he may feel lonely and helpless. However, keep in mind that it is not the end of
happiness in his or her life. There are so many interesting things that a boy or a girl can enjoy
after breakup their relationship. Hence, that boy and girl should try to overcome the relationship
breakup so that their future career do not hamper and take pleasure of life in a new way.
Ways to Overcome a Relationship Breakup: a boy and girl can overcome the grief of a
relationship breakup by adopting different ways. Here are some useful tips, which may help him
or her to come out of this heart-aching situation.

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Drain out emotion: Immediately after the breakup, a boy or girl needs to give some time
to drain out his or her emotions. During this period, he or she may cry, rave in his or her anger;
grieve at the unfair treatment that he or she received from his or her parents. Let all painful
emotions drain out of his or her mind.
Help him or herself: Dont frequently recall the pleasant or sad moments from the past.
That boy and girl should avoid looking at the mementos of his or her former relationship like
photos, letters or gift items. They are supposed to do not blame one another for what had
happened and try to find out individual mistakes. That boy and girl should think about improving
him or herself, which will be helpful for her or his future relationships. He or she ought to forget
about the past and think about future. That boy and girl should keep him or herself busy is the
best way to overcome his or her grief. They should engage in their own work or social activities
as well as get involved in his or her favorite hobby.
Lean on friends: Family members and friends are the backbone to support him or her in
his or her toughest times. They can play a positive role in overcoming this stressful situation.
That boy or girl can share his or her feelings and problems with them in order to get their
support. Enjoy picnics and outings with them. He or she does not often talk about his or her past.
As much as possible, he or she should try to avoid the topics that cause his or her stress.
Avoid sad triggers: when relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend is broken up
they must try to avoid the things that remind him or her such as songs, movies or restaurants.
During the first few days following a breakup, strictly avoid these sad triggers.

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Change attitude: that boy and girl need to change his or her attitude in order to
overcome a relationship breakup. He or she should have positive approach towards his or her
life. Dont get frustrated for being rejected. Dont take it as a total failure of life. He or she is
supposed to try to change his or her lifestyle and take another chance. He or she will try to find
the person who can bring positive changes in his or her life.
Dont get frustrated and disappointed due to a relationship breakup. He or she should
mind it that its not the end of the world. Cheerful and hopeful future is still waiting for him or
her. He or she needs to rebuild and recuperate with new hopes by overcoming the relationship
breakup (Jirage, 2008).

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