WHAT WOMEN LOVE TO HEAR

Women constantly need to feel loved, appreciated and

valued. They love to be told things like:
I love that dress on you.
I love you.
I love your body.
I thought you looked really beautiful today.
I need you.
I want you.
We need to just sit and talk more often.
You are the only woman I ever want, dont ever
think otherwise.
I love it when you
What do you want from me that I am not giving you
as I need to know you are happy with me?
What do you need help with?
Im sorry rather than the words I apologise.
Will you forgive me for...?
I cant wait to make slow passionate love to you.
I cant wait to get my arms around you.
I miss you.
Lets spend more time together without anyone else.
Give me a cuddle, I need you.
Lets do something different.
Its okay, Im here, we will discuss it and work
through this; what about we make time tonight?
Please and Thank you.

WHAT WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO HEAR

What not to say
I have my kids, I dont need a relationship.
(Fear of commitment, intimacy or rejection).
I dont need a relationship, I need my freedom.
(Fear based).
Maybe men dont need relationships as much as
women.(Commitment avoidance/sabotage)
I need space.
You look fine.
I dont care what you wear.
You expect too much.
Youre too emotional.
Youve changed.
So its that time of the month again is it?
Theres nothing to talk about. I dont know what

your problem is.

You analyse everything too much.
You have always got to bring things up from the
past.
Relationships are too hard.
So did your friends give you this advice?
Dont worry about it, just relax.
I can never do anything right.
I know what I am doing, trust me.
Youre always complaining.
You are never satisfied.
Its the way I am, you cant change me.

ROMANTIC GESTURES
Romantic gestures can include things like:
Buying flowers or chocolates occasionally for a
surprise.
Having a spa or bath together with (or without) a
bottle of champagne.
Scented candles in the bedroom and bathroom.
A non-sexual massage.
Cuddling, kissing, holding hands.
A man really talking from his heart with feeling.
Special outings and time away from children.
Sitting on rocks together and watching the waves
pounding in.
Having a shower together and washing your partners
back.
Sex in unusual places (if you both enjoy this).
Taking her shopping to buy her something personal.
Phoning her or texting her everyday just to say hello
and to tell her that you love her (but only if you do
love her). Women love to feel adored and cherished.
Buying a meaningful card and sending it to her
unexpectedly.
Other nice touches can be:
Washing her car and put petrol in it.
If you do not live together, watering her garden or
mowing her lawn occasionally.
Complimenting her regularly on her hair, her body,
her clothes and the things you really like about her as
a person.

COMPLIMENTS
Compliments always go a long way with women, as they
want to feel attractive, but always remember that when
you are dating or are in a serious relationship giving
compliments alone is not enough.
Women need communication. They also need their
emotional needs met as they function on a very
emotional level. This is the unique part of your woman
that you will need to make time to discover.
When you become her lover, make sure you are her
friend as well. You need to be there for her emotionally,
as this is very important to a woman, no matter what sort
of relationship you have.
Think about her needs as well, not just your own.
ASK
Ask your partner what she needs from you to feel loved,
and what you can do to make her feel special.
It is important to ask these types of questions otherwise
you will just be guessing, and thats dangerous
territory.
You might think making a lot of money or buying
flowers every week is enough to show your love, but your
partner is likely to have quite different thoughts in her
head. You will never know until you ask.
Never assume you know what is best for your partner
and for your relationship. Every woman is unique.
This is the way to a womans heart

KNOW YOUR WOMANS EMOTIONAL NEEDS

A woman is always flattered when a man wants to spend
money on her, but again, you cannot just buy your way
into a womans heart. It may work for a short time but not
over a longer period of time.
You need to see to a womans emotional needs as well,
and this requires that you put in some effort.
Emotional needs are things like physical affection, open
honest communication, sharing similar interests,
friendship, spending time alone together, romance, sexual
intimacy, emotional intimacy, helping around the house,
helping with children, commitment and respect.
Every woman will have a different emphasis on what is
important to her emotionally, just as every man will
differ. It is up to you to find out what is most important
to your woman to feel loved and cared for in a

relationship, or quite simply you wont have a

relationship.
It is also up to you to express what is important to you to
feel loved, as we all need to feel loved in different ways.

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EMOTIONS

Express your feelings and emotions and you will be more
attractive to all women. Most women find emotionally
barren men a turn-off. Women often say it is like
communicating with a brick wall, as big defence barriers
are in place.
Women know that underneath the surface men are just as
sensitive, vulnerable and emotional as women, but often
due to social conditioning, hurtful past experiences, and
an unemotional father figure, feelings and emotions are
frozen and blocked. Unfortunately our society has
conditioned men to believe it is not manly to show their
feelings, that its a weakness. Women on the other hand
see this as a sign of strength in a man; so just relax and
enjoy expressing your emotions.
In relationships women want men to communicate and
express their excitement, their pain, their sadness, and
their fears, because they know that communication on a
deeper level creates stronger relationships and greater
emotional intimacy. Women want to connect with their
partners on a deeper level than ever before.
Women believe it is now time for men to express their
emotions more freely, to free themselves from the past
and move to a higher level of consciousness. Just as
women did in the1970s when they consciously decided to
break down social rules and behaviours that were no
longer serving them.

WHAT WOMEN NEED TO GIVE SEXUALLY

Generally speaking, in a committed relationship,
women need most, if not all of the following to give fully
of themselves sexually:
Chemistry/Attraction
To feel physically and emotionally safe and secure
Communication (emotional connection)
Respect and love
Extended emotional and physical foreplay
Caring love-making

In the end the biggest sexual turn off for a woman in any
relationship is not feeling listened to, appreciated, valued
and loved.

BECOME A GREAT LOVER

Some men do not have good love-making techniques;
this can be a big turn off to women. It is very difficult for
a woman, even when she is in a loving relationship, to be
forthright enough to suggest other ideas that may help,
because she knows that this can be very hurtful to a
mans pride. If you sense things could be going better,
ask your partner how she visualises the ideal love making
session, and you might get some new ideas.
Dont ever think the type of sex shown in pornographic
movies is what women want, as it often very rough and
forceful. Women tend to dislike this type of sex because
it sometimes can be very uncomfortable. It also makes
them feel like a sex object, and quite vulnerable. Most
women prefer gentle caring sex, (tantric practices being
the most gentle caring sex of all). There are many books
and educational videos on this topic. Educate yourself, as
it is important to understand a womans body and
sexuality in general. This will make you a better lover.
Besides, great lovers are rare so what an opportunity! .
I am sure you always read the manual of a new car to find
out what sort of oil and petrol it needs to perform well, so
why not read a manual on how a womans body works?
Then, practice makes perfect. Its easy.
Knowledge is confidence and power.

SOME TIPS FOR A GREAT SEX LIFE

Dont become lazy as soon as you have won over
your woman. Continue to woo her, compliment her,
and seduce her as you did when you first met. Women
are great romantics and they love to feel adored and
cherished.
Women get turned on in their hearts first, so open
honest communication is a big turn-on. The more
time spent communicating from your heart, the more
sexually interested a woman is likely to become.
A womans libido has more to do with how well she
is treated day to day and what you say and do to make
her feel special, rather than how good you are in bed

or how much money you make.

Often women need to feel relaxed to enjoy sex; so
help with the dishes, or the children, and/or give her a
non-sexual massage if you sense she is feeling
hassled.
Take time to create a quiet romantic atmosphere away
from children.
Be creative, interesting and a little unpredictable, as
doing the same thing all the time will become boring.
Most women feel more confident and sexual with low
lighting; light some candles, dim the lights or pull the
curtains if it is in the middle of the day.
Kissing is a big turn-on to most women. Ask your
women friends what sort of kisses they like (and dont
like) to educate yourself.
Make sure you are shaven, and clean before you start
making moves, as you are more likely to be well
received.
MORE TIPS FOR A GREAT SEX LIFE
Love-making is not just about sex. Create sexual
tension and draw out the love-making act.
Passionately kiss, cuddle and touch occasionally
during the day or night without directly touching the
erogenous zones. This will be a big turn-on and you
will find as time goes on your partner will be just
dying to make love to you.
Most of the time women need a lot of kissing,
cuddling and touching before they feel like
penetration, so do not just jump on after only a few
minutes. This is a no-no, as women hate to be rushed.
In bed, talk to her, kiss her all over and use the
teasing touch. Stroke her hair, hold her hand
sometimes during the love-making session, tell her
that you love her (but only if you do), and that you
love her body, etc. Whatever you choose to say must
come from your heart, and you must be honest,
otherwise your partner will sense your falseness,
which will be a turn-off, rather than a turn-on.
Do not judge your performance on how many
orgasms a woman has, and do not always expect a
woman to have an orgasm every time you have sex.
The truth is that many women do not always need to
have an orgasm to feel satisfied.
Undress a woman slowly and enjoy the process, or
have sex semi-clothed for a different experience.

 Learn how to please your partners body. Ask her if

necessary. Every woman is different.

STILL MORE TIPS FOR A GREAT SEX LIFE

Some women like to have sex when they are
menstruating, be open to enjoying this. (It must feel
right for you too!)
Never push a womans head down to give you oral
sex and hold it down as this will bring up all kinds of
feelings of being manipulated and controlled. This is
a definite no-no.
Be gentle with a womans body, particularly her
breasts, nipples, and clitoris. If you are too forceful
and rough it can be a big turn-off.
Keep your fingernails short and look after your hands,
as the rough sharp touch can hurt.
Ask about favourite positions. Experiment, as every
woman is different. Some women find certain
positions uncomfortable, so be aware that what you
may like may be very uncomfortable for your partner.
To women, sex is about intimacy and sharing love
rather than just penetration, so lose your ego and your
need to perform. Let yourself go and really connect
on a heart and soul level.
Dont just roll over and go to sleep as soon as you
have finished having sex. Cuddle for a few minutes
and say a few nice loving words before you turn over.
A woman will feel more comfortable with her
sexuality when she feels cherished. Treat her well and
she will give more. If you starve a woman of love,
attention and emotional intimacy you will end up sexstarved,
or without a relationship. It is very simple.
Explore tantric sex for a deeper experience.

KISSING AND TOUCHING

When kissing and touching a woman, a man should not
automatically assume his actions will lead to sex. Most
women need to be kissed and cuddled for other reasons
and at other times as well; they need to be loved and
valued as a human being first and foremost.
Women object to being touched only for sexual
purposes, and in the end they will become resentful and
push you further and further away.

OGLING
It is rude and disrespectful to constantly ogle and
comment on other attractive women, whether you are in a
relationship or newly dating a woman. Women expect
men to ogle occasionally but not all the time.
Women intuitively know the difference between a guy
who looks at a woman like a beautiful painting and a guy
who ogles in a lustful manner.
Be warned, a guy who constantly ogles will lose a lot of
points with a woman, although she may not say anything
when it happens. She often will just internalise her hurt
and hold the points against you. She will also probably
deep down have an issue with trust within the
relationship. This in itself can cause a woman to shut
down emotionally and sexually, thus creating more
problems in the relationship.
Just because you are a man, this does not mean that you
automatically have the right to behave in this manner.
Today people are well informed, and we have the
capacity to operate from a higher level of consciousness
- we are not just running on animal instinct.
Think about how you would feel if your woman
constantly ogled and commented on other good-looking
men. Be respectful, thoughtful, and kind at all times to
women and all people. Treat others as you would like to
be treated.
FLIRTING
In a relationship it is important to continually flirt with
your partner as this will help to keep your relationship
healthy. However, be cautious of flirting outside the
relationship as it can lead to temptation. It can also be
hurtful to your partner if it is done in front of her and,
again, you will lose a lot of points as issues of trust will
surface.
We all like to have fun with the opposite sex, and we
usually like to flirt with some people more than with
others. You will intuitively know when you are crossing
the line, and again think about how you would feel if
your partner was doing what you are doing.
Respect and trust is vital in a relationship; do not
jeopardise it.
BE HONEST AND REAL
Be open, honest and real about yourself and what is
going on in your life. Do not be evasive and secretive. Be
loved for who you really are rather than who you

pretend to be.
Women in general are very intuitive. They sense
evasiveness and dishonesty on a subconscious level, even
if they dont consciously recognise it. Always be aware
that it will be internalised in some way, which will be
reflected back into the relationship in a negative way.
Manipulative psychological mind games to justify
behaviour are also a turn-off to women as this is seen as
another form of dishonesty. This type of behaviour often
causes anger or depression and many more problems.
In general, women disrespect men who lie to them. It is
considered cowardly. Most women would rather be told
the truth and be hurt rather than be deceived, as deceit
makes a fool of them as well. Women do not need to be
protected by omissions and lies.
Be a man of integrity in all areas of your life as women
will sense your authenticity and they will admire you for
it. Your life will also be happier.
A man with good self-esteem tells the truth and
communicates well because he has no reason to lie in the
first place.
FIDELITY
If you want to win a womans heart and experience a
successful relationship, you must be trustworthy and
fully committed to the relationship, unless you have a
mutual agreement to do otherwise. Trust is the glue of
excellence.
If a woman intuitively feels she cannot fully trust her
partner she will shut down emotionally and sexually in
order to protect herself. She may also become aloof,
angry, and insecure, which will make the problem worse.
Infidelity is rarely about sex; it is usually about other
issues.
Lies and deceit destroy relationships and in the end they
also destroy a mans self esteem.
Dont ever expect to have a happy successful relationship
if you cannot be faithful. Be courageous and seek help
before you get to this stage
COMMITMENT
It is quite common today for some singles to have
negative beliefs about commitment. If this relates to you,
ask yourself, has this belief served you in the past and is
it serving you at the moment?
All beliefs can be changed as beliefs are just thought
patterns.

A disappointing or hurtful relationship experience may

have created these negative beliefs. If all people created
negative beliefs about commitment after being hurt, no
one would commit to a relationship again, so see this is
your belief and your truth only, as it is not the truth for a
lot of other people.
As human beings commitment is our gateway to
happiness, not just in relationships but in all areas of our
life. It is only when we give our all to a person or a
project that we are able to connect and experience life at
a deeper level. There are many riches that commitment
has to offer, but you have to be prepared and ready to
commit.
Commitment doesnt have to last forever and it doesnt
have to mean living together or marriage. It just means
being there one hundred per cent on all levels,
(physically, emotionally and spiritually) while you are
there. You can always change direction if the situation is
no longer serving you. Our lives are full of choices.
CREATE FRIENDSHIPS WITH WOMEN
A common complaint from women is that men have
trouble with the concept of just being friends.
Women like to be just friends with some men, and
more often than not they wouldnt ever consider having a
sexual relationship with these same men. Women really
value their men friends, as they are rare.
Women are disappointed when a man, whom they enjoy
as a friend, starts making moves for sex or an intimate
relationship, as this move can change and threaten the
friendship.
You must not assume that just because a woman is
friendly to you that she is sexually attracted to you. She
may just enjoy your company as a human being and want
to hang out with you sometimes. It is a sign of maturity if
you can have these sorts of relationships with women.
You will also learn a lot about women by just being
friends with them.
If a woman is interested in you, you will sense it. Tune
into your gut feeling and her body language and you
will know the difference.
MAKE GENUINE CONVERSATION
When meeting women, make genuine conversation.
Dont create a conversation just to impress, as this is a
sign of low self-esteem. Besides, the truth usually comes
out in the end and you will end up with egg on your face.

Women do not respect men who make up stories to

impress them.
Relax, be yourself, speak from your heart and soul, your
non-ego self.
Be honest and real. This will get you a lot further down
the track with a woman than any other tactic.
If a woman doesnt like you for who you really are she is
not right for you, so just move on. Just keep
remembering, dating and finding love is a numbers game.
HAVE THE COURAGE
TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
With regard to the dating game, most women still prefer
men to make the first move, as women tend to see this as
a sign of courage, which to them is manly. They also see
it as a sign of confidence.
Women are often now taking the initiative because they
get sick of waiting for men to get drunk enough to make
the moves. By taking the initiative you stand out from
the crowd.
Be aware, however, there are good and bad ways to
make a move.
Women are turned off by the sleazy approach. A sleaze
is someone who works the room and takes no time to
move in on women (his prey). It also is obvious from this
mans actions and words that he just wants sex as he has
no real interest in getting to know any woman. This type
of approach is considered disrespectful and goes down
like a lead balloon with most women.
In many womens eyes a sleaze can also be a man who
plays around on his girlfriend or his wife. He cant be
faithful. Women do talk about these types of men and on
a deeper level they have little respect for them.
INTRODUCE YOURSELF
If you are out somewhere and you would like to start up a
conversation with a woman, take a risk and introduce
yourself. If she is friendly and you feel comfortable, offer
to buy her a drink (but have no expectations).
When you introduce yourself be confident, shake her
hand and say, Its nice to meet you. Follow on with a
humourous comment and/or some casual conversation.
During your conversation, add some questions to find out
if you have similar values and interests. You dont need
to say anything about yourself until she asks, just keep
questioning and listening. Some women will be flattered
just by the fact that you are showing interest and that you

are a great listener.

If you receive negative vibes and you don' t think this
woman is for you, just finish your conversation and say,
It was nice to meet you, I am going to keep mingling, then move on and go and talk to somebody else who
looks interesting. Never see this as a rejection; it is just
the way the game goes.
Choose to see a knock-back as getting one person closer
to the jackpot of love. You just have to keep playing the
game, and learn from your mistakes.
There are no real successes without rejection. The more
rejection you get the better you are, the more youve
learned, the closer you are to your outcome.
- Anthony Robbins
REMEMBER NAMES
When you meet a woman you like, always remember
her name and use it regularly as it will be music to her
ears.
Remembering names is an art form, as you have to really
concentrate when being introduced to people.
Continually practice remembering names - it is a great
skill to have. It is also a great way to create immediate
rapport with all types of people.
SEEK A PARTNER SOMEWHAT YOUR EQUAL
Relationships tend to work better if you seek out a
partner who is somewhat your equal.
This may be a person from a similar background, socioeconomic
group or cultural group. People with a similar
educational level also tend to have a greater chance of
success in relationships.
Sometimes opposites attract, but it is a good idea to keep
this in mind when looking for a partner.
BE A GENTLEMAN
If you are out somewhere and you find you really click
with a woman and you sense she is interested in you,
offer to take her for a cup of coffee, walk her to her car or
wait with her until her taxi arrives. This is gentlemanly,
and it also is a good opportunity to get her phone number
so that you can ask her out in the next few days, (if you
havent already done so).
Unless there has been a lot of physical contact during the
night, a kiss on the cheek is all that is necessary and
appropriate first time round. Thank her for the great night
and dont expect any more.

If you have just met and you want a long-term

relationship, dont rush sex on the first few nights (or
weeks). She will really appreciate being liked and
valued for who she is, rather than just for her sexuality. It
will also make her hungrier for you.
You will interest and intrigue her more by being a
gentleman and by having a different approach from
most other men.
TAKE THE INITIATIVE
If you meet a woman you really like and you feel she has
shown interest in you, phone her in the next couple of
days to show that you are keen. If, however, you phone
an hour after you get home, you may come across as
desperate and needy, and you may frighten her away.
If you tell a woman you are going to ring her to take her
out, do it, dont let her down. Do what you say and say
what you mean. If you dont mean it, and you dont want
to take her out, dont say it.
Remember, do unto a woman what you would have her
do unto you.
ORGANISING THE FIRST MEETING
If you meet someone you like, but you are not really sure
how you both might feel next time you meet, dont make
your first meeting too long just in case it doesnt feel
right.
Suggest you meet for a coffee somewhere and always
take separate cars. A woman will feel safer if she meets
you in a public place. The other advantage is that you can
leave if you feel this woman is not for you. If you do
decide to leave, do not say you will phone her sometime
just because you feel guilty. Simply say, It was nice to
meet you, but I am sorry I have to get going now. Be
decent enough to stay for at least twenty minutes before
leaving.
If on the other hand you really like her and she seems
really comfortable with you, tell her that you have
enjoyed her company and that you would like to stay on a
little longer. You might like to suggest that you both kick
on somewhere else if she would like to do that. Give her
the choice. Also tell her that you wont be upset if she
would rather not, and that its okay if she wants to call it
quits. She may or may not then suggest another time that
would suit and take it from there.
Take one step at a time and communicate what you are
wanting and feeling so you both know where you stand

DETERMINE COMPATIBILITY
On your very first meeting, it is essential to find
common interests, because, no matter how much you are
attracted to this woman, you will not be compatible if
you have nothing in common.
It is also a good idea to ask her what sort of man and
what sort of relationship she is looking for, as you may
not be matched in this area either. She may be looking for
a man to have children with, but you may not want
children. You may want to live on a farm and she may
dislike the country life. You may want a casual
relationship and she may want a long-term committed
relationship. If we do not ask these questions we can
select the wrong partner simply because we make
choices based on lust. Sexual attraction is very important,
but this alone will not necessarily create or sustain a
relationship.
Asking these questions may sound a bit like interviewing
a person for a job, but it is likely to save you both a lot of
heartache later on.
A great friendship may eventuate if nothing else. Go with
the flow and have faith that the right person is out there
for you.
If you dont know what you want, or what sort of woman
you are looking for, you will need to work yourself out
first.
DETERMINE THE STRENGTH
OF HER STATEMENTS
If she says something like Id like to live in London,
dont assume that this is fixed in stone. As you know,
people often change their minds about things and they
often have several options and dreams in their head.
To determine the strength of her statements, question her
more. She may be just as happy to live in New York
where you want to live. You wont know unless you ask a
lot of questions and actively listen to the answers.
It is important to explore her statements otherwise you
may dismiss her for the wrong reasons.
Falling in love can also cause people to make moves that
they may otherwise not consider, simply because they
may never have thought it was an option to them.
Think of the big picture always
CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS
If you both want an on-going casual relationship with no
emotional commitment, this may work for a while.

However, these types of relationships can never be

sustained for very long, as our soul urge is to seek
something deeper and more fulfilling.
One of the greatest sexual turn-offs for a woman is not
to feel appreciated, valued and loved; therefore it is not in
a womans nature to be able to sustain a casual
relationship for very long.
BODY LANGUAGE
Body language always determines whether there is sexual
attraction.
Watch whether the woman is mirroring how you are
sitting and talking, whether she is leaning forward toward
you, showing constant eye contact, playing with her hair,
and smiling a lot. A sign of interest can also be palms
facing upwards, while crossed arms can mean
defensiveness or lack of interest, but not always.
Generally if a woman touches you and she allows you
into her personal space for long periods, she is interested
in you.
If you are interested in a woman also be aware of your
body language and the signals you are giving out. There
are many books that you can read on this topic.
MANNERS
When you have enjoyed a womans company and you
sense she has also enjoyed yours, phone her the next day
to thank her and to say how much you enjoyed your time
with her. This is good manners and it also shows that
you are keen.
Ask her when (not if) she would like to catch up again
and what days and nights suit her best. Converse a little
only if you think it is appropriate, and organise another
date for about five to seven days later, if that suits her.
Take it slow to start with, dont rush in. There is plenty of
time left for you to see each other a lot, if and when
things heat up.
KEEP GATHERING INFORMATION
When there are things in common and there is definite
attraction present on both sides, there are other questions
you can subtly ask to determine compatibility (if you
both are looking for a long term relationship), such as:
What are your passions?
What are your greatest turn offs with men?
What wont you tolerate in a relationship?
What values do you live your life by?

What are your goals?

What is your vision for your life and your future?
What do you need in a relationship to feel loved?
Have you physically and emotionally let go of your last
relationship?
By asking these types of questions, you will be showing
that you care about making a relationship work, and this
will fascinate her. The answers to these types of questions
will also give you some vital information about her
wants and needs in a relationship.
It is also important for you to express what you want and
need in a relationship, so that she can determine if she
wants to spend more time with you. It has to be right for
both of you.
GIVE PLENTY OF NOTICE PRIOR TO A DATE
If you want to take a woman out, give her plenty of
notice.
Never ring her one or two hours before you want to go
out as that will make her feel that she is just an
after-thought and not very important in your eyes.
We all have busy lives, and often children and other
commitments have to be re-organised prior to going out.
Always think ahead and give a woman time to prepare. In
this way she will be in the right space to really enjoy her
time with you.
A woman likes the anticipation of going out, and she
also likes to be physically prepared so that she can look
her best. She doesnt want to be asked to go out
somewhere with one hours notice when her hair is dirty
or when she has none of her favourite clothes washed.
She usually needs time to prepare herself.
When you get to know her better, sometimes spontaneity
is an essential and important ingredient of a relationship,
but not when you first meet. It will only build up
resentment and anger and you will lose a lot of points.
MAKE CONTACT BY PHONE
Avoid asking a woman out on a first date via a text
message, an answering machine message, or an email, as
this comes across as cowardly. You can chat and test
interest via text or email messages, but when organising a
date, be prepared to take it to the next level.
Phone her and work out a time that suits you both. If she
says she isnt interested, ask her if another time suits her.
If you still get a negative response, leave your phone
number in case she changes her mind, and then hang up

and tell yourself that theres plenty more fish in the sea.
Always work with your intuition rather than your head.
A SPECIAL DATE
When you are at the point that you sense there is a strong
mutual connection, organise a special date. Always pick
a woman up in a taxi or in your car, even if it means
travelling 100 kilometres, unless you are from overseas or
interstate and there are special and unusual
circumstances. Do whatever it takes.
When you pick her up, tell her how much you have been
looking forward to seeing her and how good she looks,
(but only again if you genuinely mean it!). It will also
make an impression if you open the car door for her.
If you decide to take her to a restaurant, pull out her chair
and insist you pay for the bill even if she wants to pay her
share. She will see this as a sign of generosity, which is
very important in a womans eyes. It will also make her
think that you really like her. (Later on you may both
decide to share bills, but not initially).
Dont expect too much too early when you start dating
someone regularly. Detach from the outcome. Have fun
and go with the flow. Let it all unfold naturally. It will if
it is meant to.
OUTINGS TO WIN A WOMANS HEART
Even if you are short of money there are many
interesting and romantic things you can do together,
whether you are in a relationship or just starting to date
each other.
You can walk along a river or the beach on a warm
summers night and take a blanket, some food, and a
bottle of wine.
If you are both spiritual explores temples and
churches and New Age Festivals.
Hire a rowboat and explore a river together on a nice
day. (Most women would find this really different and
romantic).
Go for a scenic drive, stop several times at lookouts
etc., and have lunch and coffees along the way.
If you know she likes nature and the outdoors,
explore desolate beaches, wild rivers, rainforest tracks
or waterfall areas.
If she likes markets take her to a well-known market
and just browse and enjoy the atmosphere.
A music or wine festival can be another interesting
outing. Just browse, relax, eat, drink and enjoy the

day.
If she likes dancing, take her dancing (if you like
dancing).
If you have a common interest, e.g. horse riding or
cycling, organise to do this sometime.
OTHER OUTINGS
Cook her dinner at your place and set the table with
candles and wine glasses just as in a restaurant. Go to
a lot of trouble.
On a cold night, if you have an open fire, light the fire
talk, and share a bottle of wine and/or a movie.
On the days you are working, organise to meet her for
lunch somewhere or to have a quick coffee.
Take her to the movies. Let her choose which one she
would like to see.
Take her for breakfast sometimes.
If you are happy to spend more money take her to a
theatre or dance production. (If you dont like ballet
some of the modern dance productions are amazing!).
A romantic dinner on a riverboat or in a nice
restaurant is always a favourite with women.
When the relationship has developed more, organise a
special room in a large city hotel for a romantic night
out. Another option is to take her away for a weekend
and stay in Bed & Breakfast accommodation rather
than a hotel or motel. Check the brochures and choose
a cottage that is quaint and very romantic. If it is cold,
also request an open fire.
If you are well off financially and you are both really
comfortable with each other, you may like to take a
short trip interstate or overseas.

AVOID THE WORD APOLOGISE

If you are running late for a date always phone ahead to
say how long you will be.
When an apology of any sort is in order, always use the
words Im sorry rather than the words I apologise, as
there is a big difference in their meanings to women.
When you use the words I am sorry it means that you
care about her feelings.
To most women saying the words I apologise is like
being late for a business appointment as it has little
reference to feelings. It is usually seen as clinical and
uncaring.

Women often complain that men are not prepared to

admit their mistakes and/or to say they are sorry. This is
where you can be different.

BE LIGHT-HEARTED
On your first date do not reveal too much about yourself.
Relax, have fun, and be light-hearted, but make sure you
ask questions that will determine your compatibility
before you become sexually and emotionally involved
with each other
ACTIVE LISTENING
When you are having a conversation with a woman,
maintain eye contact as much as possible and avoid
interrupting when she is speaking. This is a sign that you
are really listening to her in that moment and that your
mind is not somewhere else.
This is an important relationship- and rapport-building
skill to use with all people, and besides, the art of
conversation is one of the major inroads to a womans
heart.
The quality of your life is the quality of your
communication.
- Anthony Robbins
BE EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE
If you have an ex-partner or ex-wife make sure that you
have completely let go of that relationship physically and
emotionally.
In a womans eyes, a man who is separated but has not
filed for divorce or hasnt completed property settlement
has not let go of that relationship properly. Sometimes
men have completed all this, but emotionally they are still
hanging on to the relationship and/or the family unit that
once was. This tends to be a real turn-off to women, and
it can block and/or be the undoing of some potentially
successful relationships.
We cannot go back to the past; we only have the present
and the future to enjoy. Deal with any unfinished
business as soon as possible, finish grieving if necessary
and move on.
Look forward to the possibility of creating a happy new
relationship and/or a new family unit with you, your new
partner and your children.

DO NOT DEFINE YOURSELF

BY YOUR WORK
OR YOUR FINANCIAL STATUS
Dont talk about your work too much or how much
money you have or dont have, as you will be coming
from a point of insecurity.
A date is supposed to be a release from the pressures
of the outside world. It is a time to switch off, to relax
and to have fun.
Just be the real you, the real you that is separate
from your work and your financial status.
You should never feel as if you have to impress
anyone. Besides, quiet humility can be very
attractive.
You need to be loved for who you are first, not for
your status or what you can financially offer a
woman.
NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP
If you want to impress a woman do not take her out just
on weeknights, as this is considered disrespectful.
By taking her out Friday or Saturday night you will be
showing that you really care about her and that you are
not leaving your options open, perhaps for your mates or
for someone better to come along.
Sometimes a weeknight is appropriate and necessary but
not all the time. Even if you work night shift or
weekends, rosters can usually be changed. If you are
divorced and you have your children every weekend,
organise a baby-sitter every now and then, so that you can
go out occasionally on Friday or Saturday night. Perhaps
organise to have your children during the week instead,
so that you can get time away somewhere. As long as this
doesnt happen all the time nobody is likely to mind.
Time out is important for your sanity as well as for a
new relationship.
It is my opinion, along with many experts in this field,
that when you put your relationship with your children
ahead of your relationship with your partner, you are
jeopardising your relationship. Whether you are already
married or you are developing a relationship the second
time round, the relationship must be nurtured or there
will be no relationship.
RETURNING CALLS
Always return phone calls and/or text messages as soon
as you can (preferably within 24hours or sooner), even if

you do not want to continue seeing someone. It is usually

considered bad manners and disrespectful to do
otherwise.
If you are really hassled and busy, it still only takes a
minute to pick up a phone to explain what is going on in
your life and to say that you will ring back in a day or so
when things settle down.
If you dont answer your emails daily, tell her to text or
ring you instead. If she is interrupting you and phoning
too often, you will have to tell her that it is too difficult to
take too many calls and that it is best to phone at a
specific time if she needs to speak to you. There is always
a caring way to deal with all situations.
Always remember it should be the truth, not an excuse,
otherwise you are not living with integrity.
If you do not want to see someone again, be honest
enough to say that you would prefer not to catch up again
and have the manners to explain why. Perhaps you feel
you arent ready, or it doesnt feel right. Add that you
would like her not to take it personally; praise her good
points and wish her all the best.
Dont just suddenly stop ringing with no explanation, as
women consider this whimpish and rude.
LET GO OF WANTING TO CONTROL
If you are seeing a woman regularly dont treat her like a
puppet on a string by manipulating and controlling
when and where you see her. A woman will find this
disrespectful and hurtful. This is the relationship you
have when you are not having a relationship.
A woman may go along with this for a while because she
likes you, and she may be hoping things will improve.
However, if nothing changes, anger and resentment will
eventually set in, as she will feel manipulated and
unloved. No matter how nice you are, most women with
good self-esteem wont stay around for long, as they
intuitively know they deserve to be treated better. A
woman always needs to feel valued and appreciated in
order to give to a man.
A woman should be an integral part of your life, not an
outsider looking in.
If it is just sex that you want, be honest enough to tell her
that up front, so that she can make a decision on whether
she wants to spend more time with you. Dont deceive
her by initially pretending you are interested in having a
relationship, then dropping her to the occasional time slot
to suit your game plan.

This is a definite no-no and a cruel way to treat a

woman.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Never leave a woman out in the cold.
Introduce her to your family and friends as soon as the
relationship moves into a more serious phase.
This is a sign that you really care about her. It will also
make her feel that she is really important to you.
PUT YOUR MATES SECOND
Women want their men to have close male friends, but
men who spend more time with their mates than they do
with their partner are a turn-off to women. In these
situations resentment and anger will build up in the end.
A woman likes to come first, because in her mind the
relationship must have priority, and love must always
come first.
Actions speak louder than words.
- Ancient proverb