Ungar-Voices For Children Report - Resilient Children
Ungar-Voices For Children Report - Resilient Children
Ungar-Voices For Children Report - Resilient Children
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We see it in our classrooms and on the evening news: an endless stream of children and
teenagers who act with seemingly senseless disregard for themselves and others. But
there is another side to this. Dr. Michael Ungars work with troubled youth has shown
him that the behaviours that worry us most as parents, caregivers, police, counsellors
and educators, are those that are sometimes a young persons best strategy for
survivalin short, what we see as negative and even dangerous behaviour is actually
hiding a positive and healthy search for resilience. In this report, Dr. Ungar untangles
problem behaviours and provides new ways for us to recognize, understand and
strengthen hidden resilience.
Introduction
Parents, social workers, teachers, counsellors, police and other adults in our
communities are demanding a better way to understand children who are mired
in problem behaviours. Why is it that some children, despite experiencing
adversity, manage to bounce back in what we consider positive, socially
acceptable ways such as maintaining good grades or not getting into trouble?
We call these children resilient. But resilience, the capacity to overcome
adversity, is not just a measure of how well some children behave in ways we
approve of. The paradox is that resilience is equally present in young people
whom we have labelled as dangerous, delinquent, deviant and/or disordered.
Resilient youth take advantage of whatever opportunities and resources that are
availableeven those we consider negative or destructive. That negative
behaviour shown in troubled young people can actually signal a pathway to
hidden resilience that is, just like the one chosen by their well-behaved peers,
simply focused on the need to create powerful and influential identities for
themselves.
For many children and youth, the ability to demonstrate resilience in positive
ways is a reflection of the capacity of their homes, schools and communities to
provide them with the resources they need to grow into well-adjusted adults.
Despite our best intentions, we will not be able to influence how seemingly
troubled children behave until we appreciate that what we characterize as
problem behaviours may well be our childrens hidden pathways to resilience.
Children who receive the most attention in our communities are those who are
dangerous, delinquent, deviant or disordered. Often they carry more than one of
these labels. The label bonds to the child, on the one hand limiting the childs
options, on the other, providing a perfect script for how to act out his or her
vulnerability:
Dangerous children scare us with the risks they take, potentially harming
themselves or others. Dangerous children have thus far avoided jail or the
stigma of a mental health diagnosis.
Delinquent children are associated with the justice system, likely to be
involved with police and the courts. The delinquent child has broken a law,
or is dangerously close to breaking the law.
Deviant children are social misfits who break social norms. They may
have also broken the law, and have a mental health problem. More often,
they simply do things the rest of their community finds objectionable.
Disordered children either have a diagnosis as mentally ill or are likely to
be diagnosed with a mental health problem. Disorders are frequently used
to explain the childs deviance, delinquency and dangerous behaviour.
In my practice, I encounter many
children and youth whose behaviour
fits into one of the above categories,
who, despite a lack of positive and
healthy resources, are demonstrating
a remarkable resiliency in trying to
forge their own strong and individual
identities. Jessica is one such young
woman.
numbs out with drugs. She looks for affection from boys, though confides that sex
makes her feel uncomfortable. Shes never sure, she says, that she measures up
to the expectations of her partners.
At school, she tries to be invisible. Her marks are fine and no one thinks she
needs any special help.
Jessica is finally noticed when she asks her guidance counsellor to help her
leave home. Jessica tells the counsellor shes been thinking of moving in with
some friends, or maybe her boyfriend. Once she is labelled as a youth-at-risk-ofleaving-home, Jessicas presentation of herself as the most capable one in her
family begins to unravel. The invisible child now becomes visible for what she is
doing wrong.
When Jessicas parents appear for counselling, they are polite, sober,
concerned. They are also surprised and embarrassed by Jessicas behaviour.
They argue a bit about how uncooperative the girl is, about how she doesnt take
any responsibility at home, about how she locks herself in her room. They say its
easier with Campbell. Hes busy with extra-curricular activities. Their story
about Jessica tells of a child whom they worry is going to get pregnant, who
smokes and likely does drugs. As Jessica becomes more visible to her parents,
teachers and counsellors, her own story about her success is overshadowed by
their interpretation of her actions as a failure.
How do we account for Jessicas way of coping with her life? If we were to think
only in terms of Jessicas problems, we would be quick to diagnose multiple
disorders, the effects of abuse and neglect, her low self-esteem, and even think
about things like attachment disorders, sexual promiscuity, conduct disorderall
labels common to children in similar situations (Romer, 2003; Willms, 2002).
Instead, we could look at Jessicas choices as part of her search for resilience.
Garmezy (Garmezy, Masten & Tellegen, 1984), two decades earlier. Masten
says that resilience isnt something exceptional, but in fact occurs in the ordinary
magic of lives lived well under stress. Small decisions, mild acts of courage,
unnoticed efforts to survive are often the pathways that children take to achieve
health.
Researchers like Masten have discovered that a number of these children,
anywhere from 10 to upwards of 60 per cent, depending on how resilience is
defined and outcomes measured, show a surprising capacity to cope well
(Kaplan, 1999; Werner & Smith, 1992). In fact, parents of teens at-risk may be
comforted to know the odds are in their childs favour of turning out just fine.
Terrie Moffit (1997) and her colleagues have shown that as many as 95 per cent
of troubled youth desist from their problem behaviours after turning 18-years-old.
The trouble is, as childrens parents, caregivers, educators, mentors and even,
(when things go terribly wrong) jailors, we havent fully appreciated the way
children create an identity for themselves as resilient from the resources they
have available. When these resources are scarce, children and youth turn to
problem behaviours to find a powerful way to assert a preferred identity as a
survivor (see Boyden & Mann, 2005; Gilgun, 1999; Ungar, 2005).
Understand the importance of parents and other caregivers, not just peers,
to children who do well despite adversity.
Invite young peoples street identities (and the peers who support them)
into our homes and classrooms to better understand who they are when
they are beyond our control.
Hear our childrens truths about a world they perceive as denying them the
opportunities for both acceptance and excitement.
Provide substitutes for the problem behaviours that troubled children and
youth say give them powerful identities as problem kids.
In Jessicas case, family counselling that moved the focus from the problem
child to the familys problems played an important role in helping Jessica to
display fewer negative behaviours. Suddenly, she was back in control, helping
her parents to receive the attention they needed. Even better, with the counsellor
as her advocate, Jessica was able to tell her parents she needed more attention.
She wanted them to appreciate her more, and in time they did. But even if they
hadnt, there were other adults who were willing to play their roles as parentsubstitutes, and act as witnesses to Jessicas efforts at being normal.
It was only in the absence of these adults that Jessica had turned to peers for the
recognition she craved. Many youth like Jessica are not so fortunate. Parents
drag them to counsellors demanding they stop their problem behaviours without
understanding the purpose of the behaviour, nor offering a substitute that brings
with it an identity that is just as powerful.
Jessicas brother, Campbell, needed a very different intervention. He wasnt
seeking his parents recognition. He had no academic achievements to boast
about. Meeting Campbells needs meant understanding the adventure he was
finding beyond his front door. Campbell, modelling his life on his fathers, wanted
to be respected for what he could do. It surprised his parents that what Campbell
really wanted was to help his father work on his truck, to travel with his father,
and even get a job. Understanding Campbells world as he saw it, his markers of
success were similar to those of his parents, but his access to the means to
achieve that success was largely unavailable.
References
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Garmezy, N., Masten, A.S., & Tellegen, A. (1984). The study of stress and
competence in children: A building block for developmental psychopathology.
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Author Bio:
Michael Ungar, Ph.D. is both a social worker and marriage and family therapist
with experience working directly with children and adults in mental health,
educational and correctional settings. Now an Associate Professor at the School
of Social Work at Dalhousie University, Halifax, Canada, he continues to
supervise and consult extensively with mental health professionals in Canada,
the United States and overseas. He has conducted many workshops
internationally on resilience-related themes relevant to the treatment and study of
at-risk youth and has published dozens of peer-reviewed articles on resilience
and work with children and their families. He is also the author of three books:
Playing at Being Bad (Pottersfield Press), a book for parents; Nurturing Hidden
Resilience in Troubled Youth (University of Toronto Press), a book for family
therapists; and an edited volume, the Handbook for Working with Children and
Youth: Pathways to Resilience Across Cultures and Contexts (Sage
Publications). Dr. Ungar holds numerous research grants from national funding
bodies and is a collaborator on several international research projects. Currently
he leads a study titled: Methodological and contextual challenges researching
childhood resilience: An international collaboration that includes researchers
from 11 countries on five continents.
Contact the author:
michael.ungar.dal.ca