Common Misconceptions On Truly Listening

Common Misconceptions on Truly Listening
No one likes to be scolded, "You're not listening!" To better understand this skill of listening, let's explore some
common fallacies.
"I'm a good listener because I always get the facts and figures straight."
It sounds like you may be a selective listener. You listen for the facts and figures, but don't hear or comprehend
the rest of the information, such as questions that are raised, emotions of the speaker, context, opinions and ideas
discussed.
"I'm a good listener because I never interrupt when someone is speaking."
A good listener does interrupt if the information provided by the speaker is unclear. Just as you need to be an
inquisitive reader, you also need to be an inquisitive listener to be an effective listener.
"I'm a good listener because I pay attention to what I hear."
Being able to concentrate or pay attention to a speaker does not necessarily make you a good listener -- unless
you can also assimilate, understand and respond to the information being given.
"I'm able to learn a lot by listening to audio tapes while I drive."
When listening to tapes while driving, your primary focus or attention should be on driving safely. Secondarily,
you are listening to the tape. Your attention is split between dodging traffic and trying to listen. Good listeners
generally concentrate on a single focus -- listening.
"I can hear. Therefore, I can be an effective listener."
Hearing is the first step in the process of communicating information. Once you hear the information, you must
be able to understand it, question it, interpret it and respond to it. A good listener does more than just hear.
The Five Components of the Listening Process

When we look at presenters or public speakers do their thing on stage, it looks very easy and carefree.
But the truth of the matter is, being able to communicate ones message or messages across a huge
number of people is not that simple. Conveying a series of messages and making sure that your
audience doesnt lose interest involves complex skills and processes, one of which is LISTENING.
Let us breakdown the listening process into five simpler stages so we can better understand what is
involved in each step. The five components are:
1.
Receiving
2.
Understanding
3.
Remembering
4.
Evaluating
5.
Responding
Reason for poor listening

1. Competition for Attention
Its happens when you are overly busy
2.Failure for Concentrate

Lack of concentration is the result of :
i)
ii)
Existing environment condition

Speakers speed which is greater than the listeners
3.Emotions and Feelings

Angry, shouting and overly happy persons are poor listener
4.Evaluations
You stop listening when you become busy in evaluating the situation.
5.Sluggishness
When you let your mind wander, and when you just dont want to concentrate
you are unable to listen
6.Distraction
When your attrattion distracts from the speaker to some other object that you
cannot listen
7.Language
When the speaker does not speak the language to the listener, the latter is unable
to understand.
8.Exhuation and Drowsiness

When you are done up or feel like sleeping you cannot listen
9.Topic
When the topic is uninteresting you become poor listener.
Personal Listening Styles

There are four styles of listening that people use when listening, depending on their preferences and
purpose, as originated by Barker (1971) and developed with Watson (1995).
People-oriented
Those who are people-oriented show a strong concern for others and their feelings. They
are external in focus, getting their energy from others and find much meaning in relationships,
talking about 'we' more than 'you' or 'they'.
They will seek to understand the life stories of others and use storying themselves as a means of
understanding. They will focus on emotions, be empathetic and use appeal to emotion in their
arguments. They may seem vulnerable and will use this to show that they are harmless.
They can find problems when they become overly involved with others and 'go native'. This can
impair their sense of judgement and ability to discriminate. They may associate so strongly with
others they do not see limitations and faults, and may be drawn into unwise relationships. They also
may be seen as intrusive when they seek to connect with others who are not so relationshiporiented.
Content-oriented
People who are content-oriented are interested more in what is said rather than who is saying it or
what they are feeling. They assess people more by how credible they are and will seek to test
expertize and truthfulness.
They focus on facts and evidence and happily probe into detail. They are cautious in their
assessment, seeking to understand cause-and-effect and sound proof before accepting anything as
true. They look for both pros and cons in arguments and seek solid logical argument.
They can run into trouble when they ignore the ideas and wishes of the other person and may 'throw
the baby out with the bathwater', rejecting information because it does not have sufficient
supporting evidence.
Action-oriented
Action-Oriented listeners focus on are interested first on what will be done, what actions will
happen, when and who will do them.
They seek 'so what' answers in their questions and look for plans of action. They like clear, crisp
descriptions and answers that are grounded in concrete reality. They like structure, bullet-points and
numbered action items.
They can be impatient and hurry speakers towards conclusions. They may also be critical of people
who start with the big picture and talk in ideas or concepts. This can lead them to appear overly
concerned with control and less with the well-being of other people.
Time-oriented
People who are time-oriented have their eyes constantly on the clock. They organize their day into
neat compartments and will allocate time for listening, though will be very concerned if such
sessions over-run.
They manage this time focus by talking about time available and seeking short answers which are to
the point. This may constrain and annoy people who are focused first on people elements and want to
take as long as is needed.

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Common Misconceptions on Truly Listening

The Five Components of the Listening Process

Reason for poor listening

2.Failure for Concentrate

Existing environment condition

3.Emotions and Feelings

8.Exhuation and Drowsiness

Personal Listening Styles

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