Trans Women Safer Sex Guide
Trans Women Safer Sex Guide
Trans Women Safer Sex Guide
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+contents
describe me: Words, Body Parts, and Identities ............................................ 4 talk to me: Disclosure and Negotiation............................................................. 7
+ T is for Talk: When should I disclose my Trans status? What about my HIV/STI status? ................................................................... 7 + Wrap it Up: Negotiating Condoms and Dams with Lovers and Clients ................................................................................. 8
fuck me: Tips for Safer Sex ................................................................................ 9 + Fucking Ass and Vag .................................................................................... 9 + Rimming.......................................................................................................11 + Scissoring ....................................................................................................11 + Sucking and Licking ....................................................................................11 + Fisting ......................................................................................................... 12 + Fingering and Handjobs ............................................................................. 12 + Toys..............................................................................................................13 + Lubricants ....................................................................................................13 doctors & me: Talkin to your Doc.................................................................15 surgery & me: Info for Trans Women who have had genital surgeries .......16 + What Can I Do? What Cant I Do? ..............................................................16 inject me: Needles, Silicone, and STIs ...........................................................19 pay me: Additional Safety Tips and Tricks for Trans Sex Workers................. 20 break it down: Sexually Transmitted Infections .......................................... 22
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+describe me:
The word trans is used to include people who might also call themselves any of these very different words: transsexual/transgender/genderqueer/genderfluid/ bigender/queer/cross-dresser/drag queen/drag king. And it can also include some people who identify as Two Spirit. Well also be talking about people who arent trans that is, people who were assigned one gender at birth and more or less still identify with that gender. Well use the words cisgender and cis to describe these people (ie, cis women and cis men). There are also people whose bodies dont fit into any of these categories, or might fit into a few of them, and well be using the word intersex to talk about them. When talking about people who are living with HIV, well use the word Poz. Talking about body parts! Girl-dick, cock, big clit, clitasaurus-rex, unicorn, boy bits, strapless, the Kraken. These are just some of the words used by trans women to talk about the genitals we were born with. For the purposes of this guide, and for clarity, well be using the word strapless. When talking about the genitals of trans women who have had sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), well be using the terms vag, vagina, and vulva. Trans mens genitals also have a lot of names: dick, cock, t-dick, manhole, cunt, pussy, front hole. For the purposes of this book, well be using the words t-dick and front/frontal hole. Some trans guys have phalloplasty to create cocks.
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+talk to me:
WRAP IT UP: Negotiating Condoms and Dams with Lovers and Clients
If you want to protect yourself and your lovers/clients against HIV and other STIs, youll need to use condoms, dental dams, and/or gloves! But sometimes getting a lover/client to use them can be tricky. Our two big tips are: BE CLEAR and BE FIRM. BE CLEAR when you explain that you want to use condoms/dental dams/gloves. Its about your health and theirs. BE FIRM about it! Stop sex if you have to. Some clients and some lovers might try to tell you that they dont want to use condoms/dental dams/gloves for any number of reasons, including: They dont fit! Condoms come in larger sizes, however regular condoms can be stretched to fit over an adults head, so this reason is total BS! Im allergic to latex! Thats ok because you can always use polyurethane condoms/dental dams/gloves. So make sure to have some on hand! I cant feel anything when I use those! Sometimes people dont feel as much with latex condoms and dental dams. Polyurethane condoms and dental dams are thinner and give more sensation! Give them a try! But Im clean/safe/disease-free! Most people who say this have never been tested for STIs or HIV. And even if they show you a transcript of their latest HIV test or STI screening, if theyve had sex since then, you could still be at risk! But if you loved me, you wouldnt ask me to do that! The truth is, if someone loves you, they would want to protect your health. So, if they really love you, they will use a condom/dental dam/glove. No matter what their reason is, your health is worth more than the sex or money! If a client or lover refuses to use condoms, try suggesting a handjob instead of a blow job or anal/vaginal sex. If they still refuse, end the session, give them back some or all of their money (if they are a client), and get out of there! For some people, negotiating safer sex can be about more than just HIV and STI prevention. It can also be about self-esteem and personal boundaries. For some of us, we might not see ourselves or our bodies as worthwhile, so using condoms might not be a priority for us. Even if you dont value your health, remember that youre putting all of your partners/lovers/clients at risk, too. Its important to know what your limits are. For some people, having strict boundaries can help them overcome past bad experiences around sex and intimacy. If your partner/lover/client insists on using condoms or dental dams for particular sex acts, make sure to respect their boundaries, just as youd want yours to be respected. 8 brazen
+fuck me:
THE BASICS
RIMMING
Eating ass can be super hot. And while its a low risk for spreading HIV, rimming is a high risk for spreading gonorrhoea, herpes, syphilis, and Hep A and Hep B. But dont worry! You can reduce your risk when rimming by: Washing the area! Plain old soap and water. Careful not to get the soap up your butt, though! Its an irritant! Ouch! Using a dental dam can really help! If one isnt available non-microwaveable saran wrap works just as well. Or, cut the ends of a condom off, and then cut down one side of it to create a large square that will work just like a dam! Some people like to douche before getting rimmed. This isnt recommended, because it can increase your risks of contracting an STI.
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SCISSORING
When two people with vulvas rub their genitals together, we usually call this scissoring, or tribbing. Trans women who are partnered with cis women and trans men who have not had phalloplasty often enjoy this, especially if the trans woman has had SRS. This is a low risk for spreading HIV, but can be a risk for spreading syphilis, gonorrhoea, and herpes! There are a couple of different ways to reduce your risk, though: Check your partners genitals for any sores, open cuts, or abrasions. Try wearing underwear and/or pants while tribbing to reduce contact with fluids. Using non-microwaveable saran wrap with lube is probably the safest way to trib!
TOYS
Dildos, vibrators, and even cucumbers can be fun and sexy in the bedroom! They are also pretty much no risk for spreading HIV or other STIs as long as you follow these simple suggestions: Put a condom or non-microwaveable saran wrap over it! Change the condom or non-microwaveable saran wrap between holes and between partners! This will prevent spreading bacteria and STIs between body parts and partners! Clean the toy after using it! Silicone dildos should be boiled after use for up to five minutes, or washed with antibacterial soap. Rubber and cyber-skin cocks are porous, so you cant fully sterilize them so make sure to always use a condom with them! Vegetables can be toys, too! Cucumbers, or even a butternut squash if youre really ambitious, can work great as toys. Just make sure to wash them thoroughly with soap and water before inserting them, and check to make sure that theyre still good. If they look a bit expired, beware! Expired vegetables can cause yeast infections ew!
FISTING
Now you see it, now you dont! Fisting is like a magic trick. This is what we call it when you insert your entire hand (or just most of it) into your partners ass or vag/ frontal hole. Trans women who have had SRS should check out our section on genital surgeries (page x) before being fisted. For the person receiving, fisting can increase your risks for spreading or getting HIV or STIs during other sex acts for up to two weeks after being fisted. For the person doing the fisting, this is a very low risk for HIV transmission, as long as you have no cuts or sores on your hand. Use gloves! Use lube! This will decrease the tears and rips in the anal or vaginal/frontal lining that make it easier to catch or spread HIV and other STIs. Water-based lubes are better, especially if you are using a latex glove. Make sure to use condoms when you get fucked for at least two weeks after being fisted.
LUBE
For anal and vaginal sex and fisting, lube can be an essential part of having a good time. Using lubricants can reduce tearing of the anal or vaginal lining. Small tears increase your risk of contracting or spreading HIV and other STIs. Water-based lubes (such as Astroglide) are recommended. Vaseline, water, spit, cooking oils (like Crisco), and other oils are NOT recommended! Vaseline is made from petroleum and will degrade the anal or vaginal lining, increasing your risks. Water, spit, and oils tend to be absorbed quickly by the body, meaning youll get dry fast, which also increases your risks. And remember: even if youre using a spermicidal lubricant, you still need to use a condom or glove to prevent the spread of HIV and STIs!
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Trans vag doesnt usually self-lubricate! While some trans women selflubricate a bit, most dont get any self-lubrication and those of us who do dont lubricate as well as cis women or trans men. So make sure to use lube, which will reduce tears and rips in your vaginal lining. Trans womens vaginas are less stretchy and more delicate than cis womens and trans mens vaginas, so there are some things that you might not ever be able to do sexually. The number one among them is vaginal fisting. You might also be advised against anal sex and anal fisting for a number of years (usually 2 years) post-operatively, or for life. Check with your surgeon. One of the reasons for this is that it could cause a vaginal prolapse that means that your vagina could fall out. You could also cause a fistula a hole between the anal and vaginal linings, which can be very hard to repair and dangerous to your health! So be careful! When you are having anal sex, take it slow and easy at first, and stop if you feel irregular pain. Dont forget to dilate! Follow your surgeons guidelines for dilation schedule. Some trans women stop dilating after a few years but beware, this can lead to permanent vaginal shrinking, which is usually irreversible! If you experience pain or tightness while getting fucked, try dilating an hour or two before you have sex. It can be hard to predict this sort of thing, but dilating before sex can really help make sex easier and more pleasurable! If youre being penetrated, try different positions to find ones that work best for your body. Some positions work better than others for trans vag, but it varies between women. Your vagina can also get yeast infections, so be careful that anything going into your vag is clean! The jury is still out about whether or not your new vag will need pap smears. Some doctors say yes, and some say no. Some kinds of HPV (Human Papillomavirus) can lead to cervical or anal cancers, and your new vag may be able to contract these! Better to be safe than sorry! Ask your doctor about getting a pap smear done. Talk to your doctor about any weird discharges you find coming from your genitals or ass. brazen 17
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+pay me:
Avoid wearing necklaces or scarves! These can be used to choke you if the date goes bad. Find a trustworthy friend to call before and after dates. Let them know the clients name, phone number, email, and/or license plate number, in case the date goes bad. If you cant find a friend to do this, pretend to call a friend when the client arrives and tell this friend the clients name and what they look like, and that youll call again after the client leaves. This lets the client think that there will be someone out there who knows where youre supposed to be and who will alert the police if you go missing. Wearing lipgloss or lip balm can help prevent you from getting cuts or tears on your lips, especially during the winter. Cuts and tears in your lips will increase your risk of getting HIV, and other STIs. Dont carry valuables or too many pieces of identification, if you can. Sometimes a bad client will rob you and you might be left with no ID! Having your healthcard on you can be good, though, in case something happens and you need to go to the hospital. Never believe the client! Always be aware that they might be lying to you. Be clear and firm about your prices and your limits! If you prefer to use condoms for blowjobs, be firm about it, even if they offer you extra money or say they wont have sex with a condom on. Better to lose the money and find another client than to risk your health! Dates with more than one client can be risky! If you feel uncomfortable, get out of there right away. If you feel threatened or uncomfortable, get out of there as fast as you can! Call 911 or, if youre in Toronto, call Special Victims Section (which will never charge you for reporting abusive clients) at 416-456-7259. brazen 21
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+break it down:
How to reduce your chance of getting and giving it: + Use condoms for anal, oral and vaginal/ frontal sex with cocks and strapless and strap-ons. + Use gloves for handjobs. + Use dental dams for oral sex with vag or frontal parts. + Try to avoid having sex during an outbreak, if you can. Gonorrhoea How you get it: + Unprotected oral, vaginal/frontal, or anal sex. + It can be passed from parent to child during childbirth. What it can feel like: + Some people do not have symptoms, but those who do may notice them 2-5 days after transmission. + Yellow or bloody discharge from penis, strapless, vagina, front hole, or anus. + Pain during penetration. + Blood in your shit. + Burning or painful sensation when you pee. + Pain in your lower abdomen, fever, and chills. How they treat it: + Talk to your doctor. + Gonorrhoea is treatable with antibiotics. + Untreated, gonorrhoea can lead to pelvis inflammatory disease (PIV). How to reduce your chance of getting and giving it: + Use a condom for oral, vaginal/frontal, and anal sex. + Use a dental dam for sex with a vagina or front hole. + If you have Gonorrhoea, talk to your doctor to get antibiotics. Human Papilomavirus (HPV, Genital Warts) How you get it: + Skin-to-skin contact with the infected area. + Unprotected oral, anal, or vaginal/frontal sex. What it can feel like: + Many people do not have symptoms. + Single or clusters of warts on, in, and
around the genitals and/or anus. + Warts may be round, flat, or a cauliflower shape that are flesh coloured or grey How they treat it: + Talk to your doctor. + HPV has no cure, but once warts are present, you can choose to freeze them, burn them, or use topical creams to get rid of them. + Without treatment, HPV can lead to anal or cervical cancers. It is not currently known if post-op trans women are at risk for cervical cancer. Ask your doctor about getting a pap smear, if you are post-op. How to reduce your chance of getting and giving it: + Use condoms, dental dams, and/or gloves for oral, vaginal/frontal, and anal sex, and for handjobs. + Warts from the hands can be transferred to the genitals. Chlamydia How you get it: + Unprotected oral, anal, or vaginal/frontal sex. + It can be passed from parent to child during birth What it can feel like: + Some people do not have symptoms, but for those that do, symptom may appear 1-3 weeks after transmission. + Abnormally watery or thick discharge from the penis, strapless, or vagina, front hole. + Pain during sex or while peeing. + Pain in abdomen. + Fever. How they treat it: + Talk to your doctor. + Chlamydia is treatable with antibiotics. + Untreated Chlamydia can lead to pelvis inflammatory disease (PIV How to reduce your chance of getting and giving it: + Use a condom for oral, vaginal/frontal, and anal sex. + Use a dental dam for oral sex with vagina or front hole. + If you have Gonorrhoea, talk to your doctor to get antibiotics
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