Coming out, in their own words: 14 stories of pride and courage

Happy National Coming Out Day!

Coming out is a journey many of us face, whether we choose to share our truth in a moment of course, or life forces our hand in unexpected ways. Coming out isn't just an announcement; it's an ongoing process of becoming. It's shedding old expectations, rewriting our narratives, and giving ourselves the space to live as unapologetically as possible.

Today, we've invited individuals to share their personal stories of coming out. From early childhood revelations to life-altering moments in adulthood, each tale shows the strength it takes to be yourself. Each tale shows coming into your authentic self takes strength and courage, even when the world isn't quite ready for it.

Dexter Mayfield (queer; he/him), plus-sized model, actor, and activist

I definitely went through the friends first. “Oh, chile we already knew,” they would say. And I was like, it doesn't matter if you knew. I'm letting you know that I know now.

When I finally got to my dad, I was honestly, like, petrified if I would say anything. So then when I finally did, he tells me that I’m his son and he will love me always. It was a very beautiful conversation at the end of the day.

Laith Ashley (transgender; he/him), actor and model

As a trans man, I came out twice. When I first came out, I was outed by someone who I cared for deeply. I don't think that she intended on hurting me and I don't think she knew the damage that could cause. Ultimately, we were able to come out of that in a very positive way.

And when I came out again as a trans man, I was received relatively well. There was some pushback at first, but I'm very fortunate that my family was open to understanding that I needed to live my life as authentically as possible.

Chris Go (gay/queer; he/him), Chief of Staff at equalpride

A happy chapter in my long process of coming out was the first time I came out to a chosen friend and fellow queer. I told other people in the past but in a more religion-cloaked "I struggle with homosexuality" kind of way, which assumed I wouldn't "give in" to same-sex attraction. This time was different because I wanted to stop fighting and judging myself.

Over a summer coffee date in Venice, I told my friend I would start living in an authentic way that brought me joy: living as a gay man. My friend couldn't be happier for me and immediately took me out to dance in West Hollywood for the first time. While new, it was a happy experience to be amongst our people where I was met by smiles, hugs, and twirls all without judgment.

Johnny Sibilly (gay; he/him), Actor

I remember coming home one day to my mom, and telling her how the kids at school are saying I’m gay—and I think they’re right. She then tells me I can’t listen to what other people call me and I’m nothing until I say I am.

A couple of years went by, and I remember it was like my first heartbreak ever. I was just depressed and crying every day. Then my mom asks what’s wrong with me, and I tell I’m in love with a boy. It was definitely not received the way that everybody would want it to be received. But over time, I always say it's a journey for everybody.

VINCINT (non-binary; they/them), singer-songwriter

I came out twice. I first came out when I was six, growing up in a household that didn't demonize who you are. They just let you figure yourself out. And then recently I've come out as non-binary in the last year and a half as well.

My mom said something really cool to me later, because in the moment, I was like, you were supposed to get it and that's just the way it's supposed to be. She explained to me that I’ve had my entire life to figure myself out, telling her who i am, and expecting her to get it in an hour—and, ideally, be okay with it. She didn’t love me any less, but she still needed time to grasp on what this is.

Jahn Jaramillo (gay; he/him), PhD student

I was outed without warning at 14, caught kissing a boy in the park. I was confronted by my mother, who reacted with tears and religious counsel, which left me feeling vulnerable and alienated.

Over time, I began to uncover deeper layers of my identity, connecting with my experience as a gay, Latinx immigrant. This journey led me to pursue the Point Foundation Flagship Scholarship, where I found a community of LGBTQ+ scholars who have given me much-needed support as I continue to navigate the complexities of intersectionality.

Eden (bisexual; she/her) and Jay (lesbian; she/her) Treviño, Healthy Relationship Advocates

Eden: I came out kind of later in life. I remember having this big script, and wanting to tell my dad, how much of an amazing daughter I am. How I graduated with honors and had this resume ready to go. He tells me how I’m all those amazing things and now just bi. On the flip side, when I told my mom, she really struggled with it. I had to give her some time to grieve the daughter and the life that she thought I was going to have.

Jay: I knew I was a lesbian at the age of 16. My mom was not having it and she gave me a one way ticket to live with my dad in Central America. I hadn't seen him since I was seven, so I just landed on his doorstep. He took it so well. He was like, “I haven’t seen you in forever. I don't care about that. I just want to hang out with you."

Cristina Herrera (transgender; she/her), CEO & Founder of Translatinx Network

Ever since I was a small child, I felt different. As I got into my pre-teens, the feelings of confusion and the feelings of curiosity continued to increase.

At the beginning of my transition journey, there were some moments that were hard. I truly believe in the saying that says, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” A lot of who I am today, personally and professionally, has been shaped by the many different experiences that I went through.

Jeff Katz (gay; he/him), Senior Director at True Colors United

I think coming out has transformed every aspect of my life. Event though I came from a family I knew would support and love me, there was a part of me that wondered if life would be easier if I were straight.

But I woke up one day and realized I am who I was meant to be, and proud of it.

Logan Alcosiba (transgender; she/her), Model & Actress

Growing up, I didn’t know trans people existed until I learned about Gwen Araujo, a trans Latina tragically murdered in my hometown. This instilled a justified fear in me about coming out, but then I began to see Gwen’s bravery to exist despite the odds.

After years of limitation, I set myself free and shared my identity with my family, friends, and community. Undeterred by mixed reactions, I organized educational assemblies and safe spaces to foster understanding and allyship for transgender people, and I continue advocacy to this day.

Anthony Pacheco (gay; he/him), Analyst at Goldman Sachs

For 18 years, I struggled to embrace my identity. I dealt with ridicule and shame as a teen for attending a school dance with another male. I found my focus in education as a path to escape the constant judgment. And through the support of organizations like the Point Foundation, I was able to find the courage to embrace my true self and create a future where LGBTQ+ youth feel safe.

Jean-Marie Navetta (she/Ella), Vice President of Learning Programs at Out & Equal Workplace Advocates

When I decided to take a job for an LGBTQ+ organization, it marked a professional and personal significant moment in my life. My coming out was a major declaration of what my life is going to be. It really charted a very specific course for my life.

Maryse Pearce (queer; she/her), Program Director at Stonewall Community Foundation

I remember being a teenager and stopping by the LGBTQ Center in Manhattan one day after school. I ran in, grabbed a pamphlet, then ran out. It was just so scary to even admit to myself that I wasn't straight.

Who we are as people is allowed to change, and I think my coming out has shaped the work I do at Stonewall by reminding me that you have to meet people where they are. The way I identify, the way I present gender-wise, has changed so much since I first came out as a 15 year old.

Marie-Adélina de la Ferrière (transgender; she/her), Community Editor at equalpride

Like many of my trans siblings, I had to come out twice. Admittedly, my first coming out as a Black gay femme was more acceptable than being a Black trans woman two decades ago. So I decided to book my transness back into the closet as a teen. Decades later, I embarked on the second part of my journey, coming out (again) as trans in 2017.

Because we only have one life to live, so do so to the fullest.

It has been wonderful to receive support from those who matter most, including my mother. I’m proud of the trans woman I've become today, and determined to ensure others like me have the opportunity to come out and thrive.

Whether it's a parent who needed time or chosen family opening their arms, these stories reveal that coming out is never a one-size-fits-all experience. It's messy, unpredictable, and, at times, gut-wrenchingly beautiful. But as each person shares, it's clear that every experience has shaped them into who they are today.

So whether you're out and proud, quietly living your truth, or still finding the courage to take that leap, remember that your story is a masterpiece in progress.