Are You Stuck in a Loop of Unnecessary Suffering?

Have you ever felt like you're not good enough, smart enough, or successful enough?

You might find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others or feeling like you need to be someone else to be happy. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and self-doubt - i.e. suffering.

That's the danger of false identification, which is when we add labels or qualities to our basic sense of "I am."

The Problem

False identification is making you feel bad about yourself and causing unnecessary stress because we are prone to identifying with external, impermanent things such a a job title, status, money, our looks, possessions, even our body.  So they will eventually diminish or go away, leading to an emptiness, a longing for self-fulfillment.  

Let's take our example from above. If you're anything like me, here's what actually happens:

1. You see someone successful on social media or at work

2. You start comparing yourself to them 

3. You feel like you're not good enough

4. You try to figure out how to be more like that person

5. You make plans to change yourself

6. You feel stressed and anxious about all the changes you need to make

7. You struggle to feel okay with who you are

I eliminate this costly blunder by remembering the simple truth: "I am that I am, nothing more."

Here's how to implement this solution in 3 simple steps:

Step 1: Notice Your Thoughts

Pay attention to the thoughts that come up when you're feeling bad about yourself. These thoughts often start with "I am" followed by a label or quality.

Some common examples include:

• I am not good enough

• I am a failure

• I am unlovable

Write down these thoughts when you notice them.

Step 2: Question Your Thoughts

Ask yourself if these thoughts are really true. Are you really "not good enough" or is that just a story you're telling yourself?

The most common false identifications:

• Identifying with your job or role

• Identifying with your possessions

• Identifying with your relationships

Remember, these things can change, but your true Self doesn't.

Step 3: Return to "I Am"

Whenever you catch yourself adding labels to "I am," try to let them go and return to the simple "I am."

Here's an example of how this might look:

[Image: A person meditating with thought bubbles showing "I am a failure" changing to simply "I am"]

Try this:  Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Who is having this thought?”.  See if you can be aware of the Self that is there, always, prior to thoughts and emotions.  

Closing

By practicing this “self-awareness” you can begin to reduce suffering and experience more inner peace which leads too…

• Reduce stress, anxiety, and self-doubt

• A feeling of natural fulfillment and ease

• Greater self-confidence and presence 

• Deeper insights and access to wisdom

Remember, you are not your thoughts, your job, or your possessions. You are simply "I am," and that's enough.

Want to learn more? Below are the ways I can help...

Mindfulness Consultation: This one-hour session will set you on your path to sustained inner peace, ease, and clarity. You'll be introduced to key concepts and engage in practical exercises and techniques designed to increase your sense of peace, ease, and calm the ruminating mind.

Coaching Packages: Whether you're dealing with difficult people or situations at work, elevating your presence for interviews, or developing effective networking strategies, our one-on-one coaching programs can be transformational. Book a call today to discuss the right package for you.

Mindfulness Workshops: Job Search with Confidence & Clarity: This program is designed for job seekers looking to enhance their networking skills, interview preparation, and confident presentation. Book a call today for an initial session.

Brian Frohn

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