Are you human BEing or human DOing?
Kerri Burchill, PhD, MCC
Leadership development consultant and coach helping leaders and teams in messy situations slow down to go fast and achieve ambitious goals.
We have all heard it said that relationships are invaluable when it comes to getting things done. Relationships require us to BE.
Yet we focus on what to DO to get things done. So much of our world values DOing that it's easy to get caught in that spin of doing. That pressure to DO propels leaders into the spin - that day-to-day firefighting and relentless pressure to do more with less. The spin makes it hard to be a HUMAN BEING verses a HUMAN DOING.
When leaders can spend more time BEing, they will experience less burnout and more time to support others. The value of BEing begs the question,
How can you spend more time BEing?
Active listening is the best way to BE with others.
Active listening helps others get to to the bottom of their spin, really identify what needs to happen, and make concrete plans to address that issue.
How can you deepen your active listening skills?
There are three degrees to active listening:
Repeating: Using the speaker's exact words
Paraphrasing: Summarizing what has been said in your own words
Reflecting: Listening to, and stating, what has been inferred
Let's apply these three degrees of active listening to a real statement someone might say to you at work:
A colleague may say, "I’m sick and tired of people taking advantage of me. I have to find a way to make it stop."
Repeating: “You’re sick and tired of people taking advantage of you.”
Paraphrasing: “It sounds like you’re at the end of your rope with people stepping all over you.”
Reflecting: “Sounds like this has gone on too long and you’re burning out.”
When people are heard, they can work through surface issues and get to the root problem, or the bottom of the spin.
The process of active listening causes you and the other party to slow down, connect, truly hear each other. That action of connecting and hearing each other's perspective will save inordinate time in the long run.
Slow down to go fast.
I'd love to hear your strategies to slow down and BE more with your teams. Connect with me through LinkedIn or through my website.
Kerri
Kerri offers leadership development training, coaching, team development, and mastermind groups for leaders.
She is comfortable facilitating messy conversations, shifting mindsets and holding leaders accountable to shine like the North Star.
Kerri is published in peer-reviewed books and has recently published a book, Leading out of the ASKhole® Trap which explores how leaders can foster more problem solving, stronger teams and reduce burnout.
Check out her YouTube channel, for more leadership and communication tips.