Women Of Today: In A Position To Change The World w/ Marjolein Groot Nibbelink

When I say a CEO, do you think of a woman first or a man having that title?

Women in leadership are changing the world. The old ways of doing things are long gone. We don't follow the same rules. We create our own. There is a significant rise of women into high-level leadership roles as they redefine outdated ideas of what it means to be a leader. 

When I first thought of this series, I knew I wanted to give voice to all the incredible women that always go beyond and are dedicated to their path and staying true to who they are. Being a woman myself, I know how challenging this can be, especially in a society where we often face gender discrimination.

But I believe a lot of progress has been made, and being an optimist by nature, I know we can all contribute to making the world a more welcoming, supportive, and accepting place. 

It gives me great pleasure to introduce you to a woman who isn't only an inspiration to me but to many in the language industry and beyond. She has always been unapologetically herself, and thanks to her strong will, dedication, and vision she had for herself, she is right where she needs to be. 

Even from a young age, she didn't shy away from leading and making decisions. Her desire to evolve and follow her passion was stronger than any stereotype she faced along the way. 

She is a true leader. Kind, dedicated, and fearless.

Meet Marjolein Groot Nibbelink- CEO of MultiLingual Media.

Isabelle: When you reflect on your professional journey and all your achievements so far, what do you think has made the greatest influence on your career path? What has led you to this moment now?

Marjolein: I am not a very patient person, but I am persistent almost to a flaw. When I believe in something, I will work hard to achieve it. This has mostly worked out well for me. Part of me is grateful — but also somewhat torn — to acknowledge that the greatest boost in my career has come in the form of two men putting me forward as the CEO of MultiLingual Media. The world took their opinion that I am a good leader much more seriously than they ever took mine. It took me some time to adjust to that acknowledgement after 15 years of being underappreciated professionally as a young woman, but I was able to readopt the self-confidence I had as a child and embrace my natural leadership instincts. 

That said, professional development does take time and a wide range of experiences — both in work and personal life. Of course I was not ready for this role when I was 25, or even when I was 30. A cluster of professional and personal experiences spanning two years defined me in ways that truly made me ready for my current role.

I believe in empowering people by letting them take ownership of their work. Seeing my employees flourish after initial hesitation to make big decisions is the most satisfying thing about my job.

I: What has been your inner drive, and how do you stay motivated? What do you usually do when you experience moments of lacking motivation? What is your strategy to get back on track?

M: I like doing things that make people happy, and that is what helps me focus and return to work buoyant every day. A smile from an employee, an appreciative note from a reader, or a success story from an advertiser, all equally boost my motivation. Unfortunately, having a high profile also means people will be disappointed, and sometimes I am on the receiving end of some very unhappy messages. This is when my motivation will deflate, and I need to allow myself space to be sad and put it into perspective before returning to work.

High-stakes and intense work can only be done with extreme focus, and no-one can do this for 12 hours straight, no matter what they might convince themselves of. It takes time and space to retain this kind of clarity and a few days away from screens helps me recalibrate and return with new ideas and motivation. I still think about work when on a run or a long drive, but in a much different way than when messages and emails are flying around my ears and there are five meetings on my schedule. 

My partner and I just bought a remote cabin that needs some work done to it and has no cell service or data reception. It feels scary for the first few hours, but then it’s the best feeling in the world — all there is to do is build something, read a book, and take in the view.

I: What are some of the biggest challenges you had to overcome as a CEO? What are some of the lessons you learned on the job?

M: Without doubt the hardest thing I’ve had to do as a CEO is fire people I have been working closely with, sometimes for many years. Over time I’ve realized that it’s ok to let people go who you care about, and it’s ok to be emotionally affected by the process. Sometimes, no matter how much you want something to work out, and how much you put into a work relationship, you may not be able to adjust around the other person.

If you care about your people it is equally important to give them the space to go through their own grieving process after losing their job, even if you want to show that you care about them personally. Each time I go through it, this process takes less time and that means all parties are less hurt by the experience, and the company is able to rebound faster.

"Allowing myself to be different and reminding my peers of my vulnerabilities have been important in forging a more truthful reputation."

I: Have you always envisioned yourself becoming a leader?

M: Yes, I always had the desire to lead, organize, and make tough decisions. In elementary school I would prepare leaflets inviting kids to meetings behind the school building to plan and execute ambitious undertakings. Most of the time, their more solid hold on realism meant I wouldn’t get much buy-in, but I did lead several clubs and groups and we had some good times. Still, after more disappointments than successes and years of systematic bullying I’d say I was “put in my place.”

Perhaps if I had grown up in a time and place that encouraged young women to be ambitious this experience would have been different. But I come from a traditional Protestant and patriarchal small Dutch village where conformity was more important than ambition. My parents have always encouraged me though, and that kept an ember of hope glowing throughout my hardships.

I: How would you describe your leadership style? What are some of the values you stand for? 

M: First, communication is key. And not just talking or checking in with your employees, which is crucial, but to control your own communication. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a great 1999 book by Marshall Rosenburg teaching a skill set that has changed my life. At first, practicing it can feel clunky and over-the-top, and everyone develops their own comfort with it that will depend on the person(s) you are talking with, and the situation. I frequently give copies of it to friends and family. It’s based on empathy, voiding prejudice, and accepting someone else’s autonomy, even when their decision is not what you wished for. 

I believe in empowering people by letting them take ownership of their work. Seeing my employees flourish after initial hesitation to make big decisions is the most satisfying thing about my job. It also relieves me of having to micromanage everything — and who likes being micromanaged?

Finally, mediation will be part of a leadership position, especially in smaller teams. Not taking sides can be extremely difficult, but as a leader you truly need to be neutral in addressing tensions in your team.

"Once you find yourself at the top, be prepared that a lot of direct support you may be used to receiving as a woman may fall away. It means you’re going to have to clean up your own mess. The strength and resilience that resides in women undeniably qualifies us for leadership and the world is finally embracing that fact."

I:Have you ever experienced any stereotypes in your career being a female leader?  

M: Being stereotyped as a female has been very different from being stereotyped as a female leader. At previous jobs I was often the only woman on a team and would attain the cleaning and organizing tasks. It was sexist for sure, but I also didn’t mind and I was good at it. It’s important to keep a cool head about stereotyping and not be too reactive, even if the current climate encourages women to push back as hard as they can. Sometimes just shrugging it off and accepting that you might be appreciated for unique qualities you possess amid a group of people who don’t, can feel more empowering. If they’re nice about it and you like the work, why be upset?

Being stereotyped as a female leader is very different. People give much less direct feedback to a leader than to a peer or employee, so much of what I say here is based on interpretation. Female leaders are generally seen as tough, confident, well-spoken, and masculine. Sometimes I feel these blanked prejudices were applied to me overnight once I became CEO of MultiLingual Media but the personal and emotional development took much longer. To this day I can feel insecure and I am terrified of speaking before large audiences.

Yes I am tall, have broad shoulders, short hair, and like to wear leather jackets, but that doesn’t mean I am a fearless bad-ass all of the time. Allowing myself to be different and reminding my peers of my vulnerabilities have been important in forging a more truthful reputation.

I: What do you believe we can do more to help women have equal opportunities in the workplace, especially in male-dominated roles?

M: I can’t quite decide whether it takes adopting a hard stance and demanding 50% of opportunities to be given to women, or if it needs to take the shape of a more organic development. Sure, the latter will take longer — and more discussions and pushback will need to be addressed — but I do lean towards that solution. Therefore our influence to get more women into traditionally male-dominated roles resides in taking on the debates around this topic and leading by example. We need to be prepared not to take the bait that might put us into a bad light by affirming prejudice. As women leaders we need to be conscious that we are scrutinized and regarded with apprehension. We need to set perfect examples until there is more acceptance. 

I: What women in your life inspire you the most?

M: You know, this might be a weird one, but as a great movie buff I have to go with Kate Winslet. She was new to the acting scene as a 21 year-old Australian when she read the script to James Cameron’s Titanic (1997). She was never really on his radar for the female lead as he considered Gwyneth Paltrow, Winona Ryder, Claire Danes, and Reese Witherspoon for the role. In addition to constantly calling him she sent him a rose and a card that said “From your Rose”, and finally he realized she deserved a shot. The rest is history.

But it doesn’t stop there — she did not give in to the promises of Hollywood and instead returned to do off-kilter independent films like hideous Kinky and Holy Smoke! Her agent thought she was crazy, but she established herself as so much more than a pretty young lady and has continued to choose incredible roles that highlight all aspects of womanhood (Little Women is wonderfully complex). Her persistence and the autonomy she took over her life has always inspired me.

I: A piece of advice for all the women out there wanting to achieve their goals? 

M: This is going to sound very cheesy, but you need to believe in yourself. I do think you have to seriously consider what other people say about you, but never lose track of your own feelings and needs. Find a balance that demonstrates you are able to take feedback and adjust, but never lose sight of your core values.

Stampeding blindly into a leadership role thinking all you do is great will not be sustainable, and you won’t be able to attract the independent and valuable people around you that you need to achieve lasting success. Once you find yourself at the top, be prepared that a lot of direct support you may be used to receiving as a woman may fall away. It means you’re going to have to clean up your own mess.

The strength and resilience that resides in women undeniably qualifies us for leadership and the world is finally embracing that fact.