Why nobody is helping you.

I received recently a message from a stranger on LinkedIn which I found very rude and misguided, so I thought I’ll write an article about it. This total stranger after a quick “Hello” message proceeded to send me a good bunch of messages asking me to help him any way I could, he was very persistent on me finding a job for him. I was taken aback by all these messages, firstly because this was a total stranger to me and secondly even if I felt like helping him, his very aggressive approach left a sour taste to say the least.

There were just so many things wrong with his message and his approach so in this article I will explain to you why nobody is helping you and how you can change that. This isn’t an isolate event, sometimes on the streets people meet us and ask for help, and yet again the request might come from our inner circle of friends. Basically, whenever people feel like you can be of help, they automatically assume you should be of help and its your duty to help others

What he did wrong

For starters, one thing social media does a terrible job at is to attribute respect and authority proportionately. On social media, everybody has the same age and status, and we can all talk to each other like mates. Right now I could easily write to any CEO of any company like we were old buddies, I could talk to someone twice my age like we went to the same school together and so there is no respect and appreciation for neither age difference nor status difference. We are all just pictures and a profile, and so we can all speak to each other like we see fit. So this young man as I could see from his profile picture was emboldened for one reason or the other to write to me in search for a job.

It wasn’t much of a surprise because this happens a lot online and I often come across persons like these on Twitter most of the time, but it was a first on LinkedIn. What I made out of the whole situation was that he probably was in a desperate situation and would just send all these messages to as many persons as he could, hoping to get positive feedback from an altruistic person out there. Basically, it's just the online version of begging, nothing more.

What he did wrong was simple, he was just a selfish person asking for a handout. His message clearly showed that he didn’t care about the person he was talking to, he didn’t care how it was going to be done, all he was interested was someone else showing pity on him and giving him what he wanted. Which is kind of ironic, you are selfish but yet you expect others to be altruistic.

The right thing to do

I won’t speak specifically on how you can find a job but I’ll rather touch on how you should approach other people online. It's important to treat others, especially people who you don’t know with the utmost respect, showing them the same concern which you expect. Social media definitely brings us closer but this shouldn’t embolden us to do the wrong things or act in the wrong way. You can’t realistically expect others to show concern for you when you didn’t even return them the favor, you didn’t even show some concern for them nor even take the time to build a relationship with them but rather wanted them to show empathy for a person who showed them nothing but disrespect.

In your quest for help you must be willing to help others, you must be ready to show concern and to come to the aid of others as well and likewise, they’ll do the same for you. Its hypocritical for you to expect something from others which you didn’t show to them, why expect love when all you gave was hatred? why expect care when all you did was disregard them? why expect pity when all you showed was arrogance?

Financial assistance isn’t the only thing you can do for others, your value isn’t limited to what is in your pockets and you might be asking yourself, what can a small me provide as value to somebody like Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg who are billionaires. You can begin by asking them how they are doing and taking interest in what they are doing, then they’ll do the same for you. Then you can follow up by asking them if they need anything and how you can be of help, then they’ll ask you the same question and BINGO, there you go, but coming at them listing out all your problems and concerns like they owed you something isn’t the way to go.

Conclusion

Nobody is helping you because you are self-centered and you care only about your own interests, the moment you start caring about others then you can expect reciprocity but until then you will keep getting what you have been giving to others which is disregard.

Thanks for reading ☺️

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