When Success Isn't Worth the Cost: A Leader's Tale

John, the Managing Director of a busy energy company, was wrestling with whether or not to accept a new, significantly bigger role. He had been contacted directly by the organisation because of his unique experience in one area. He was the person they wanted.

The role came with extremely attractive terms and offered John the potential to jump into a different league of opportunities in future. It was high profile, could put his family under media spotlight, and mean constant travel.

There were big growth targets, which would bring considerable pressure. John was confident he could hit these, given sufficient time and space - but if he wasn't afforded this, the failure would be very public. He had a young family, enjoyed his current role and didn't like being highly visible.

Immense potential but many negatives.

His conflicting thoughts meant a stressed out brain, bringing sleepless nights and distracted days. John was experiencing cognitive dissonance - a psychological phenomenon that occurs when a person is reconciling two contradictory beliefs or courses of action. You'll have had it many times too!

In my coaching conversations with John, we used The Clarity Catalyst™ to break through the noise and out his three non-negotiables:

- To protect his family

- To secure his career and financial future

- To be confident he'd be given the time and space to deliver

The right decision for John must meet all three.

Clarifying his non-negotiables changed the conversations John was having with the Group CEO and Board. He was now able to focus his time and attention on getting the information he needed. Previously, discussions had centred on offers from the organisation of an ever more attractive package.

John declined the role.

Although the position could mean a stratospheric rise in terms of his career, and the financial rewards that went with it, he wasn't sure he could shield his family. But the clincher? John's focussed exploration around how much time the Group CEO and Board would afford him to deliver, exposed a level of impatience and underlying business conditions that had not previously come to light. He could easily become the scapegoat.

Getting crystal clear about his non-negotiables meant John cut through the distractions and made a decision against what mattered most to him - without being caught up in others' priorities.

If you're struggling with cognitive dissonance today, what are your non-negotiables? Identify just three so that you, too, can focus on what matters and make a decision that works for you.

Catch you next week. And, as always, observe yourself and others with interest and learning, not with criticism and judgement.