When Employees Bully Supervisors: A Growing Workplace Challenge

Picture this: You're a communications director who just wrapped an intense strategy meeting. Feeling a bit lightheaded, you head to the office kitchen for a snack and suddenly find yourself surrounded by 4 staff members.

They launch into what you experience as a full-blown rant session, and offer harsh criticism of HR, management and their coworkers; question financial transparency; complain performance evaluations are a waste of time, suggest leaders don't know what they are doing.

You feel ambushed. Caught off guard and feeling a bit weak (low blood sugar is what brought you to the kitchen for a quick snack) you struggle to handle the situation.

In the moment, find yourself lacking the presence of mind to redirect by suggesting they make time for a huddle conducive to a good discussion. Other colleagues were in and out of the kitchen in the 15 minutes or so that passed and overheard some of the comments.

I wish this was just a wild scenario I cooked up.

It's a real story from a coaching session, and highlights a workplace issue we don't talk about nearly enough: employee bullying of supervisors.

We've all heard about bossy bosses and toxic managers. But what happens when the script flips?

When it is the employees who gang up, manipulate, or use emotional tactics to undermine their supervisors?

The supervisor admits he gets nervous in these situations, tends to avoid conflict, and often feels at a loss when waylaid by staff members.

And he is not alone. Many managers struggle with similar challenges:

Getting cornered for "quick chats" that turn into complaint fests

Facing a united front of disgruntled employees - which isn't to say they aren't JUSTIFIABLY disgruntled!

Hearing "I feel targeted" whenever you try to give constructive feedback

Struggling to set boundaries without coming across as a bad person

In truth, these situations don't just happen out of the blue.

They're often symptoms of deeper issues in how an organization communicates and handles conflicts, how leaders purposefully set the tone for grievance discussions, sharing tough feedback and navigating charged conversations.

Let's step back and look at the bigger picture:

A manager's role goes beyond overseeing tasks and hitting targets.

You are the bridge between top-level strategy and day-to-day operations.

More importantly, you are the one who helps the team have shared vision about communication standards and conflict resolution.

It's a balancing act of supporting people AND representing the organization's goals and values.

So, how can managers create an environment where "kitchen ambushes" are unheard of?

Set clear expectations and agreements from the get-go:

Agree on communication standards: As a team discuss and agree on how grievances can be best handled to avoid unhealthy friction. Have a regular forum for tabling feedback and concerns.

This could be weekly team meetings, monthly one-on-ones, or even an anonymous suggestion box.

Define the process for grievances: Make it clear how prickly issues are best raised. The more transparent and resonant the process, the less likely people are to resort to ambush tactics.

Empower them and help people have skin in the game - state that everyone's behavior choices will drive the culture, stress levels , team dynamics.

Discuss the objective of constructive feedback with your team. This can neutralize angst about it being weaponized--and be the model: Show the colleagues how to give and receive feedback effectively.

Use "I" statements, focus on specific behaviors, and always tie things back to team or organizational goals.

Create a culture of psychological safety: Encourage open dialogue where people feel safe to express concerns without fear of retaliation.

This doesn't mean accepting all behavior, but rather creating an environment where honest, respectful communication is the norm.

Regularly assess team cohesion: Don't wait for issues to boil over. Check in regularly on how the team is functioning and address small problems before they become big ones.

Remember, it's not about winning an argument or asserting dominance. You're out to foster a respectful work environment where everyone – yes, including managers – feels heard and valued.

By setting these expectations and consistently reinforcing them, you create a culture where constructive communication is the go-to.

It takes time and effort, but it's far more effective than any conflict resolution training seminar.

Here is a wild thought: What if we flipped the script on "bring your kid to work day" and had a "bring your manager to lunch day" instead?

Make space to see each other as real people, not just titles or positions. It might just lead to some real conversations and understanding.

My question to you is: If you could redesign your workplace's communication culture from the ground up, what would be your number one priority to ensure both employees and managers feel respected and heard?

______________________________________

🌱 I help you get to the root of what's holding people back, and deliver real solutions that work. Let's get more trust and confidence in your management team and raise the bar on outcomes.

🔔Follow me for weekly reflections on creating 𝐀 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬™

Reach me here for help so you and your team overcome culture contaminants: https://lnkd.in/eEnzBAss